Some Assembly Required (2014–2016): Season 1, Episode 21 - Dr. KnickKnack's Medical Bag - full transcript
Jarvis decides to give Candace a second chance and hires her to be Mrs. Bubkes's assistant. But when a young girl uses a Knickknack toy to save a life, Candace sees it as a chance to regain the spotlight.
♪ Here we go ♪
[Dramatic Western
showdown music, spurs jingle]
[Whistling, splatting sound]
Hey!
I like my eggs scrambled.
Comin' right up, pardner.
[Western showdown music]
That weren't too smart,
buckaroo.
Aah!
[thunk]
Ha!
Looks like your little
pea shooter is jammed.
Yeah. Jammed
on the jam settin'.
[Clicks]
[Splat]
[Western accent]:
Take it outside, boys!
[Western guitar strum]
Don't you worry your
purty little face, darlin'.
[Normal voice] Really?
You think my face is purty?
I-I mean...
[Western drawl] There'll be
no food fightin' in my saloon.
[Normal voice]
I love spaghetti westerns.
[Guitar strum]
[Clicking]
Just a salad for me, please.
[Rapid-fire whooshes]
Thank you.
Where you going?
You chicken?
[Cocks gun]
[Whoosh]
Them's food fightin' words!
Wow...
This place
has seen better days.
Don't worry.
The sheriff's going
to clean up this town.
[Elevator ding]
[Gasps]
Howdy, Sheriff.
[Yells in Meeskatanian]
[Speaks Meeskatanian
with Western drawl]
...varmints!
Sorry, Sheriff.
This town ain't big enough
for the four of us.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find our way
around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
[Knocking]
[Gasps]
Candace?
What are you doing here?
[Whoosh]
Oof!
I just came to talk.
I want to work at Knickknack
again.
If this is some kind of trick,
forget it, Candace.
You're not getting
the company back.
Or this hot dog.
This isn't a trick.
Do you really think I'm so petty
that I'd spend my days
dreaming up elaborate schemes
to take back the company?
Have you seen Mrs. Bubkes?
She got a delivery
from Wigs 'N' Babushkas.
I'm just asking
for a second chance!
I'll take anything!
I'll start at the bottom
and work my way up!
All right!
We'll give it a shot.
You're hired.
Yes!
You won't regret this!
I already do.
Okay, let's get
you started.
Perfect. I'll take this desk.
No one's using it.
Whoa!
You don't need a desk.
I don't?
You said
you'd start at the bottom.
Congratulations, Candace!
You're Mrs. Bubkes's assistant!
You want me to clean?
[Bowie]: You can
start with the floor.
It's filthy down here.
[♪♪♪]
You know, I heard
playing video games
is bad for your eyes.
And yours are already
so sad and lifeless.
I'm not playing a game.
I'm bidding
in an online auction,
trying to win it
at the last second.
Time's almost up.
Hold on.
Okay!
What should I hold on to?
No, I mean...
Here's something sturdy!
Geneva! I can't...
[Buzzer]
Great! I lost the auction!
Now I'll never get
a Pretty Mini Pony.
You like
Pretty Mini Ponies?
But they're pretty!
Yes, they're girly.
But I always wanted one
as a kid.
These days,
they're impossible to find!
I have one.
My parents bought it for me
when I was little.
Of course they did.
I never play
with it anymore.
Of course you don't.
You can have it
if you want.
Of course I do!
[♪♪♪]
Mrs. Bubkes?
[Knocking]
[Responds in
Meeskatanian]
...just changing!
I have news for you.
I hired you an assistant.
Now, before you get all excited,
you should know...
she may not be that much help.
She pretty much fails
at everything she tries.
I mean, you should do your best
to train her,
but it won't be easy.
She's not very smart.
I mean, she thinks she's smart,
but she's the only one.
I gave her this job
out of pity.
I mean,
how could you not feel pity
for such a pitiful loser?
Good luck, Mrs. Bubkes.
You'll need it.
Did I mention
she's really stupid?
[♪♪♪]
[Elevator ding]
[Piper]: Did you bring it?
Did you bring it?
Did you bring it?
Did you bring it?
My Pretty Mini Pony?
Yup.
I put it over there for you.
What is that?
What you asked for...
my pretty mini pony.
I meant the toy called
"Pretty Mini Pony."
Not an actual pretty mini pony!
Which, by the way...
not really mini!
Don't say that
around Cinnamon.
You'll make her self-conscious.
I can't take
your pony.
I know this is
a really expensive gift,
but I want you
to have her.
Geneva!
I cannot keep this!
It's okay!
It's a gift!
And don't look a gift horse
in the mouth.
She bites.
[Munching sound]
Ow!
She also bites
when you don't look
her in the mouth.
Good morning, boss!
All ready for work!
Hmm...I'll start... hmm...
here.
Whoa!
Okay, this
chair's clean.
Floor's still filthy!
Actually, Mrs. Bubkes
is going to train you.
I'll call her.
No!
Need. No need.
I already called her,
and she said to meet her
in your office.
We're going to
clean that first.
I didn't see Mrs. Bubkes
go in there.
Oh, she's in there.
But since you're such
a Doubting Donald,
I'll make sure.
Hi, Mrs. Bubkes! I'm here
and ready to work.
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
...cut of your jib!
What would you
like me to clean first?
Hmm...
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
Window!
The windows?
Sure thing!
[Makes spraying
and wiping sounds]
[squeaking]
[squeak squeak]
[tiny squeaks]
[Jabbers excitedly]
Jarvis wrong!
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
You very smart!
Huh.
"Smart" must be Meeskatanian
for "really stupid."
[♪♪♪]
[Cinnamon licks and munches]
Do you mind?
I'm kind of busy here.
Hey, Piper.
Enjoying your
pretty mini pony?
No! Look what it's eating!
Look what it's tweeting!
"Neigh, hashtag neigh."
She's such a neigh-sayer.
She keeps trying
to eat everything!
[Crunching sound]
Did you feed her?
No.
I didn't bring any food
for the plastic toy
I was expecting.
Well, real pretty
mini ponies eat grass.
Grass? We're in the
middle of downtown.
There's no grass
around here.
There's grass on the roof.
[Sighs]
[♪♪♪]
[Sighs]
[Neighs]
What do you mean you're
afraid of roller coasters?
Candace and Mrs. Bubkes
have been in there for hours.
It doesn't usually take
that long to clean my office.
[Knocking]
Can I help you?
Little busy.
Cleaning.
I'd like to talk
to Mrs. Bubkes.
Just a moment.
[Zipper sounds, rustling]
[Speaks in Meeskatanian]
see me?
I just wanted to see
how things are going
with Candace.
Oh, [speaks rapidly]
All good!
You don't have to cover
for her, Mrs. Bubkes.
We both know
she's really stupid.
Let me talk to her.
One minute.
[Rustling]
Yes, boss?
Whoa. You're sweating.
Are you okay?
Just exerting myself
with all the...
cleaning.
Guess that makes sense.
You're not in as good shape
as Mrs. Bubkes.
Speaking of which,
as your supervisor,
she should hear this, too.
Let me talk to the both of you.
At the same time?
Of course.
Did you hear me?
I heard you.
Just thinking...
about how to make that happen...
when we're sooo busy.
Oh! Got it.
[Loud clattering, rustling]
I'm back!
[As Mrs. Bubkes] Bubkes too.
Mrs. Bubkes?
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
Uh...
Because I cleaned your window,
and it's so shiny,
she needs sunglasses!
[As Mrs. Bubkes]
Cool shades.
The window
is that clean?
Let me see!
[♪♪♪]
Wow. She eats a lot of grass.
It wasn't all her.
[Neighs]
Hey! Watch it!
Geneva, I fed her, and
she's still bugging me.
Please take her back.
She's just fidgety
from being cooped up
in an office building all day.
That's why I often sneak out
at lunch
and don't come back
'til two days later.
Did you let her run around?
Get some exercise?
No.
You didn't?
What kind of horse owner
are you?
An unwilling one!
Gah!
There's no place
to run around here.
Then find some other way
for her to get some exercise.
[Sighs]
[Clinks]
Lucky shot.
Lucky shot.
Lucky shot.
And to be fair,
you had an advantage.
We were playing "Horse."
Jarvis!
A reporter called,
and I have amazing news!
A little girl
almost choked to death!
I'm just going to stay
very still
until you either
explain further
or go away.
A little girl
was choking,
but her sister
managed to save her
using Dr. Knickknack's
Medical Bag!
Really?
She used one of our toys
to save a life?
I know!
I always assumed if any of our
toys were going to save a life,
it would be Professor
Knickknack's Loony Lenses.
The medical bag.
Who knew?
What else
did the reporter say?
She wants to come here
and interview
the people responsible
for this amazing miracle toy!
Cool!
Who'd have thought you coming
over to talk to me
could be a good thing?
That medical bag
was sold by Knickknack
before Jarvis
took over the company.
That's my life-saving toy!
I'm the hero!
And I'm going to make sure
everyone knows it.
Jarvis taking credit?
What a load of bull!
Uh, nope.
That's a load of pony.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
I can't believe a reporter
is coming to interview me!
How should I pose
for the photo?
Like this?
Or like this?
Definitely the first one.
The second one makes you look
like a pretentious yutz.
Jarvis, this company did
a really incredible thing.
A Knickknack toy saved
a little girl's life!
This could be great publicity.
You can't blow an opportunity
like this.
I agree.
That's why I've been working
on my pose.
You look
like a pretentious yutz.
You need to do more.
Fly those kids out here,
roll out the red carpet,
and shower them with toys!
And where are we supposed
to get all these toys?
Uh, Bowie...
it's kind of obvious.
Of course!
We'll steal them from children!
Whoa!
You should invite
more reporters and photographers
from other news outlets.
I don't know.
All of that seems
like a bit much.
I'm telling you,
by celebrating
this little girl's heroic act,
she looks good,
Knickknack looks good,
and most importantly,
you look good.
Will I look good?
Probably not 'til your 30s.
And even then...
Okay, we'll do it!
But why are you helping us?
Why wouldn't I?
I'm now a loyal employee
of this company.
If you don't believe me,
ask Mrs. Bubkes!
Just not right now.
Geneva, I've been thinking...
Ugh, I hate when I do that.
And I realized that you
and Cinnamon
truly belong together.
But she's yours now.
Yes, but you two have
so much in common!
[Gasps]
How dare you wear
the same dress as me?
What do you have to say
for yourself?
[Thwack!]
Giddy up.
It's on!
Rrrr!
[Neighs]
[Grunting, snorting, thwacking]
Okay, this part I'm enjoying.
Me too.
Girl fight!
[blows landing]
I'm Elsie Zombeck reporting
live from Knickknack Toys,
where we're awaiting the arrival
of pint-sized hero
Kaylie Garrett
and the sister
whose life she saved!
Here they come!
[Applause]
[Crowd]: Aww!
Wow!
This is all for us?
Of course!
You deserve the attention.
And I deserve the attention
I'm about to get.
What was that?
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
I mean, I'm just so proud
of the little tyke.
I've got to hand it to you.
Doing all this was a good idea.
You don't know the half of it.
Literally.
I only told you half the plan.
Welcome, Kaylie.
I bet you'd like to meet
the person responsible
for Dr. Knickknack's
Medical Bag!
That would be me!
Candace Wheeler!
W-H-E-E-L-E-R.
[Crowd murmurs]
What?
The Medical Bag is from
when Knickknack
was run by me,
not by these punks.
Hey! We're not punks!
Okay, maybe Piper is.
Actually, I've got more of
an alt-Goth-Emo vibe happening.
Sure, you guys might make
"fun" toys,
but none of your toys
ever saved a life!
I guess you're right.
You made the toy.
This is your moment.
Yes, you all know me
as the woman responsible
for blowing up
this kid's house...
[Gasps] Your
house blew up?
Bowie, you were there
when it happened.
Oh yeah.
But now, I've saved a life!
[Crowd murmurs]
And since that kid
whose house I blew up
didn't die...
I'm ahead in lives!
I mean, if he had died...
I'd be totally even right now.
His death would have been
canceled out
and not even have mattered.
[Laughs]
But he didn't...
so I'm ahead!
Well, let's hear
the incredible story
from little Kaylie herself
of how she saved
her sister's life!
Using my toy.
Not his toy. My toy.
Go on, tell them
how you got Candace Wheeler's
Dr. Knickknack's Medical Bag!
Oh, that thing?
My grandmother bought me
that cheap, cruddy toy.
Cruddy?
She also said "cheap."
Yeah. It broke!
And my sister thought
the pieces were candy,
so she tried to eat one
and started choking.
Like this.
She was choking
on the toy?
But I thought you used
the wonderful items
inside Dr. Knickknack's
Medical Bag
to save your
sister's life?
Not the stuff in the bag.
The bag itself.
I hit her on the back with it,
and she coughed up the piece.
So you still used
it to save her life.
Still a good toy!
Ow!
Yeah, I cut my hands
on the razor-sharp handle too.
That's why we had to go
to the hospital anyway.
Oh my!
Actually, it was a good thing,
because they discovered
the paint from the Medical Bag
had given us lead poisoning.
[Crowd reacts]
You know, Candace,
when you had the idea
to use this story
to promote Knickknack,
I decided to make you
Head of Marketing
and give you a huge raise.
Really?
But since you tricked us
and tried to make us look bad,
you're fired.
Fine!
At least I won't have
to clean up this huge mess!
We don't need you
to clean it up.
Mrs. Bubkes will do it.
[♪♪♪]
[Mmm-boing bounces]
Geneva, have you
seen Cinnamon?
I can't find her anywhere.
Oh, I took her back.
You took my pretty mini pony?
Yeah.
You made it very clear
you didn't want her.
I was joking.
You know what a joke is,
don't you?
I thought I did
'til I read a book of them.
All that was in there
were facts about blondes.
Anyway, soon,
neither of us
will ever have to worry
about taking care
of Cinnamon again.
What are you going to do?
Thanks for the tour
and all these awesome gifts!
There's more!
A pony?
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you!
Wow!
That is the greatest
gift ever, Geneva!
What did you
get them, Piper?
Uh... uh... uh...
Oh no!
I think she's choking!
[Thwacking]
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ Saddle up for fun ♪
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ She weighs half a ton ♪
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ Ribbons in her hair ♪
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ Pooping everywhere! ♪
I'm P. Everett Knickknack!
The "P" stands for "pony."
[Neighs]
Pretty Mini Pony,
I hate you!
[♪♪♪]
[Dramatic Western
showdown music, spurs jingle]
[Whistling, splatting sound]
Hey!
I like my eggs scrambled.
Comin' right up, pardner.
[Western showdown music]
That weren't too smart,
buckaroo.
Aah!
[thunk]
Ha!
Looks like your little
pea shooter is jammed.
Yeah. Jammed
on the jam settin'.
[Clicks]
[Splat]
[Western accent]:
Take it outside, boys!
[Western guitar strum]
Don't you worry your
purty little face, darlin'.
[Normal voice] Really?
You think my face is purty?
I-I mean...
[Western drawl] There'll be
no food fightin' in my saloon.
[Normal voice]
I love spaghetti westerns.
[Guitar strum]
[Clicking]
Just a salad for me, please.
[Rapid-fire whooshes]
Thank you.
Where you going?
You chicken?
[Cocks gun]
[Whoosh]
Them's food fightin' words!
Wow...
This place
has seen better days.
Don't worry.
The sheriff's going
to clean up this town.
[Elevator ding]
[Gasps]
Howdy, Sheriff.
[Yells in Meeskatanian]
[Speaks Meeskatanian
with Western drawl]
...varmints!
Sorry, Sheriff.
This town ain't big enough
for the four of us.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find our way
around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
[Knocking]
[Gasps]
Candace?
What are you doing here?
[Whoosh]
Oof!
I just came to talk.
I want to work at Knickknack
again.
If this is some kind of trick,
forget it, Candace.
You're not getting
the company back.
Or this hot dog.
This isn't a trick.
Do you really think I'm so petty
that I'd spend my days
dreaming up elaborate schemes
to take back the company?
Have you seen Mrs. Bubkes?
She got a delivery
from Wigs 'N' Babushkas.
I'm just asking
for a second chance!
I'll take anything!
I'll start at the bottom
and work my way up!
All right!
We'll give it a shot.
You're hired.
Yes!
You won't regret this!
I already do.
Okay, let's get
you started.
Perfect. I'll take this desk.
No one's using it.
Whoa!
You don't need a desk.
I don't?
You said
you'd start at the bottom.
Congratulations, Candace!
You're Mrs. Bubkes's assistant!
You want me to clean?
[Bowie]: You can
start with the floor.
It's filthy down here.
[♪♪♪]
You know, I heard
playing video games
is bad for your eyes.
And yours are already
so sad and lifeless.
I'm not playing a game.
I'm bidding
in an online auction,
trying to win it
at the last second.
Time's almost up.
Hold on.
Okay!
What should I hold on to?
No, I mean...
Here's something sturdy!
Geneva! I can't...
[Buzzer]
Great! I lost the auction!
Now I'll never get
a Pretty Mini Pony.
You like
Pretty Mini Ponies?
But they're pretty!
Yes, they're girly.
But I always wanted one
as a kid.
These days,
they're impossible to find!
I have one.
My parents bought it for me
when I was little.
Of course they did.
I never play
with it anymore.
Of course you don't.
You can have it
if you want.
Of course I do!
[♪♪♪]
Mrs. Bubkes?
[Knocking]
[Responds in
Meeskatanian]
...just changing!
I have news for you.
I hired you an assistant.
Now, before you get all excited,
you should know...
she may not be that much help.
She pretty much fails
at everything she tries.
I mean, you should do your best
to train her,
but it won't be easy.
She's not very smart.
I mean, she thinks she's smart,
but she's the only one.
I gave her this job
out of pity.
I mean,
how could you not feel pity
for such a pitiful loser?
Good luck, Mrs. Bubkes.
You'll need it.
Did I mention
she's really stupid?
[♪♪♪]
[Elevator ding]
[Piper]: Did you bring it?
Did you bring it?
Did you bring it?
Did you bring it?
My Pretty Mini Pony?
Yup.
I put it over there for you.
What is that?
What you asked for...
my pretty mini pony.
I meant the toy called
"Pretty Mini Pony."
Not an actual pretty mini pony!
Which, by the way...
not really mini!
Don't say that
around Cinnamon.
You'll make her self-conscious.
I can't take
your pony.
I know this is
a really expensive gift,
but I want you
to have her.
Geneva!
I cannot keep this!
It's okay!
It's a gift!
And don't look a gift horse
in the mouth.
She bites.
[Munching sound]
Ow!
She also bites
when you don't look
her in the mouth.
Good morning, boss!
All ready for work!
Hmm...I'll start... hmm...
here.
Whoa!
Okay, this
chair's clean.
Floor's still filthy!
Actually, Mrs. Bubkes
is going to train you.
I'll call her.
No!
Need. No need.
I already called her,
and she said to meet her
in your office.
We're going to
clean that first.
I didn't see Mrs. Bubkes
go in there.
Oh, she's in there.
But since you're such
a Doubting Donald,
I'll make sure.
Hi, Mrs. Bubkes! I'm here
and ready to work.
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
...cut of your jib!
What would you
like me to clean first?
Hmm...
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
Window!
The windows?
Sure thing!
[Makes spraying
and wiping sounds]
[squeaking]
[squeak squeak]
[tiny squeaks]
[Jabbers excitedly]
Jarvis wrong!
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
You very smart!
Huh.
"Smart" must be Meeskatanian
for "really stupid."
[♪♪♪]
[Cinnamon licks and munches]
Do you mind?
I'm kind of busy here.
Hey, Piper.
Enjoying your
pretty mini pony?
No! Look what it's eating!
Look what it's tweeting!
"Neigh, hashtag neigh."
She's such a neigh-sayer.
She keeps trying
to eat everything!
[Crunching sound]
Did you feed her?
No.
I didn't bring any food
for the plastic toy
I was expecting.
Well, real pretty
mini ponies eat grass.
Grass? We're in the
middle of downtown.
There's no grass
around here.
There's grass on the roof.
[Sighs]
[♪♪♪]
[Sighs]
[Neighs]
What do you mean you're
afraid of roller coasters?
Candace and Mrs. Bubkes
have been in there for hours.
It doesn't usually take
that long to clean my office.
[Knocking]
Can I help you?
Little busy.
Cleaning.
I'd like to talk
to Mrs. Bubkes.
Just a moment.
[Zipper sounds, rustling]
[Speaks in Meeskatanian]
see me?
I just wanted to see
how things are going
with Candace.
Oh, [speaks rapidly]
All good!
You don't have to cover
for her, Mrs. Bubkes.
We both know
she's really stupid.
Let me talk to her.
One minute.
[Rustling]
Yes, boss?
Whoa. You're sweating.
Are you okay?
Just exerting myself
with all the...
cleaning.
Guess that makes sense.
You're not in as good shape
as Mrs. Bubkes.
Speaking of which,
as your supervisor,
she should hear this, too.
Let me talk to the both of you.
At the same time?
Of course.
Did you hear me?
I heard you.
Just thinking...
about how to make that happen...
when we're sooo busy.
Oh! Got it.
[Loud clattering, rustling]
I'm back!
[As Mrs. Bubkes] Bubkes too.
Mrs. Bubkes?
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
Uh...
Because I cleaned your window,
and it's so shiny,
she needs sunglasses!
[As Mrs. Bubkes]
Cool shades.
The window
is that clean?
Let me see!
[♪♪♪]
Wow. She eats a lot of grass.
It wasn't all her.
[Neighs]
Hey! Watch it!
Geneva, I fed her, and
she's still bugging me.
Please take her back.
She's just fidgety
from being cooped up
in an office building all day.
That's why I often sneak out
at lunch
and don't come back
'til two days later.
Did you let her run around?
Get some exercise?
No.
You didn't?
What kind of horse owner
are you?
An unwilling one!
Gah!
There's no place
to run around here.
Then find some other way
for her to get some exercise.
[Sighs]
[Clinks]
Lucky shot.
Lucky shot.
Lucky shot.
And to be fair,
you had an advantage.
We were playing "Horse."
Jarvis!
A reporter called,
and I have amazing news!
A little girl
almost choked to death!
I'm just going to stay
very still
until you either
explain further
or go away.
A little girl
was choking,
but her sister
managed to save her
using Dr. Knickknack's
Medical Bag!
Really?
She used one of our toys
to save a life?
I know!
I always assumed if any of our
toys were going to save a life,
it would be Professor
Knickknack's Loony Lenses.
The medical bag.
Who knew?
What else
did the reporter say?
She wants to come here
and interview
the people responsible
for this amazing miracle toy!
Cool!
Who'd have thought you coming
over to talk to me
could be a good thing?
That medical bag
was sold by Knickknack
before Jarvis
took over the company.
That's my life-saving toy!
I'm the hero!
And I'm going to make sure
everyone knows it.
Jarvis taking credit?
What a load of bull!
Uh, nope.
That's a load of pony.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
I can't believe a reporter
is coming to interview me!
How should I pose
for the photo?
Like this?
Or like this?
Definitely the first one.
The second one makes you look
like a pretentious yutz.
Jarvis, this company did
a really incredible thing.
A Knickknack toy saved
a little girl's life!
This could be great publicity.
You can't blow an opportunity
like this.
I agree.
That's why I've been working
on my pose.
You look
like a pretentious yutz.
You need to do more.
Fly those kids out here,
roll out the red carpet,
and shower them with toys!
And where are we supposed
to get all these toys?
Uh, Bowie...
it's kind of obvious.
Of course!
We'll steal them from children!
Whoa!
You should invite
more reporters and photographers
from other news outlets.
I don't know.
All of that seems
like a bit much.
I'm telling you,
by celebrating
this little girl's heroic act,
she looks good,
Knickknack looks good,
and most importantly,
you look good.
Will I look good?
Probably not 'til your 30s.
And even then...
Okay, we'll do it!
But why are you helping us?
Why wouldn't I?
I'm now a loyal employee
of this company.
If you don't believe me,
ask Mrs. Bubkes!
Just not right now.
Geneva, I've been thinking...
Ugh, I hate when I do that.
And I realized that you
and Cinnamon
truly belong together.
But she's yours now.
Yes, but you two have
so much in common!
[Gasps]
How dare you wear
the same dress as me?
What do you have to say
for yourself?
[Thwack!]
Giddy up.
It's on!
Rrrr!
[Neighs]
[Grunting, snorting, thwacking]
Okay, this part I'm enjoying.
Me too.
Girl fight!
[blows landing]
I'm Elsie Zombeck reporting
live from Knickknack Toys,
where we're awaiting the arrival
of pint-sized hero
Kaylie Garrett
and the sister
whose life she saved!
Here they come!
[Applause]
[Crowd]: Aww!
Wow!
This is all for us?
Of course!
You deserve the attention.
And I deserve the attention
I'm about to get.
What was that?
[Speaks Meeskatanian]
I mean, I'm just so proud
of the little tyke.
I've got to hand it to you.
Doing all this was a good idea.
You don't know the half of it.
Literally.
I only told you half the plan.
Welcome, Kaylie.
I bet you'd like to meet
the person responsible
for Dr. Knickknack's
Medical Bag!
That would be me!
Candace Wheeler!
W-H-E-E-L-E-R.
[Crowd murmurs]
What?
The Medical Bag is from
when Knickknack
was run by me,
not by these punks.
Hey! We're not punks!
Okay, maybe Piper is.
Actually, I've got more of
an alt-Goth-Emo vibe happening.
Sure, you guys might make
"fun" toys,
but none of your toys
ever saved a life!
I guess you're right.
You made the toy.
This is your moment.
Yes, you all know me
as the woman responsible
for blowing up
this kid's house...
[Gasps] Your
house blew up?
Bowie, you were there
when it happened.
Oh yeah.
But now, I've saved a life!
[Crowd murmurs]
And since that kid
whose house I blew up
didn't die...
I'm ahead in lives!
I mean, if he had died...
I'd be totally even right now.
His death would have been
canceled out
and not even have mattered.
[Laughs]
But he didn't...
so I'm ahead!
Well, let's hear
the incredible story
from little Kaylie herself
of how she saved
her sister's life!
Using my toy.
Not his toy. My toy.
Go on, tell them
how you got Candace Wheeler's
Dr. Knickknack's Medical Bag!
Oh, that thing?
My grandmother bought me
that cheap, cruddy toy.
Cruddy?
She also said "cheap."
Yeah. It broke!
And my sister thought
the pieces were candy,
so she tried to eat one
and started choking.
Like this.
She was choking
on the toy?
But I thought you used
the wonderful items
inside Dr. Knickknack's
Medical Bag
to save your
sister's life?
Not the stuff in the bag.
The bag itself.
I hit her on the back with it,
and she coughed up the piece.
So you still used
it to save her life.
Still a good toy!
Ow!
Yeah, I cut my hands
on the razor-sharp handle too.
That's why we had to go
to the hospital anyway.
Oh my!
Actually, it was a good thing,
because they discovered
the paint from the Medical Bag
had given us lead poisoning.
[Crowd reacts]
You know, Candace,
when you had the idea
to use this story
to promote Knickknack,
I decided to make you
Head of Marketing
and give you a huge raise.
Really?
But since you tricked us
and tried to make us look bad,
you're fired.
Fine!
At least I won't have
to clean up this huge mess!
We don't need you
to clean it up.
Mrs. Bubkes will do it.
[♪♪♪]
[Mmm-boing bounces]
Geneva, have you
seen Cinnamon?
I can't find her anywhere.
Oh, I took her back.
You took my pretty mini pony?
Yeah.
You made it very clear
you didn't want her.
I was joking.
You know what a joke is,
don't you?
I thought I did
'til I read a book of them.
All that was in there
were facts about blondes.
Anyway, soon,
neither of us
will ever have to worry
about taking care
of Cinnamon again.
What are you going to do?
Thanks for the tour
and all these awesome gifts!
There's more!
A pony?
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you!
Wow!
That is the greatest
gift ever, Geneva!
What did you
get them, Piper?
Uh... uh... uh...
Oh no!
I think she's choking!
[Thwacking]
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ Saddle up for fun ♪
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ She weighs half a ton ♪
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ Ribbons in her hair ♪
♪ Pretty Mini Pony
Pretty Mini Pony ♪
♪ Pooping everywhere! ♪
I'm P. Everett Knickknack!
The "P" stands for "pony."
[Neighs]
Pretty Mini Pony,
I hate you!
[♪♪♪]