Some Assembly Required (2014–2016): Season 1, Episode 12 - Moosetrap - full transcript
After successfully suing Knickknack Toys, Bowie becomes the new owner of the company. The power goes to his head and he turns it into a stuffy, corporate environment. When Jarvis tries to talk some sense into him, he is fired by Bowie. Now, Jarvis must devise a plan to take back his company.
♪ Here we go ♪
[♪♪♪]
[Jarvis]: Previously,
on "Some Assembly Required..."
We never thought
to recall
all those old Knickknack
chemistry sets that explode!
They must still be
on store shelves!
I wonder what cool
chemistry stuff is in here?
Bowie, don't!
[Rattles]
[Loud explosion]
[Laughing]
It's not funny!
Your chemistry set
blew up my face!
[Laughing]
So sue me!
Okay!
[Gavel raps]
I can't believe the jury
made me
the new owner of the company!
[♪♪♪]
My very own company!
This is like
some wonderful dream,
except
I'm not wearing a mankini...
and you guys
aren't made of spaghetti.
Unless...
It's not a dream!
Unless...
Still not a dream.
Yeah, more like
my nightmare.
You nightmare about me?
Anyway, Jarvis, I need to talk
to you about the graphics
for our new video game
where you rob furniture stores,
"Grand Theft Ottoman."
[Shattering glass, screaming
from tablet speakers]
I like the way
those two thugs knock over
that wicker store.
Excuse me.
Shouldn't you be running
that by me, the boss?
Is he serious?
If by "he,"
you mean "me,"
and by "serious"
you mean "serious,"
then the answer is yes.
And by "yes,"
I mean "yes."
[Worried chatter]
Hey!
No one thought I could
run a toy company
when I took it over.
We should give
Bowie a chance.
I'm sure he's not going
to change everything.
You know what they say!
"If it ain't broke,
don't fix it."
And it was all broke!
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find our way
around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
This is miserable.
It's like I'm a zoo animal.
[Aster]: How so?
People enjoy looking
at zoo animals.
That's it, Aster.
Where are you?
I don't know!
[Whimpers]
Don't worry!
I'll find you, little guy!
[Splashes]
Oops.
Sorry, Mrs. Bubkes.
I'll get out of your way.
I know it's pretty crowded
in here.
[Speaks other language]
Meeskatania [Speaks language]
luxury apartment.
Yeah, well,
there's not even enough room
in here for my shoes.
How big are your feet?
We've got to do
something!
We're going to go
crazy in here!
No kidding.
Mmm-boing is already
bouncing off the walls.
[Hyperactive bouncing]
[♪♪♪]
Bowie, I get
that you're in charge,
and I want to be supportive.
But do I really have
to wear this suit?
Hey!
I don't hear your co-workers
complaining about it.
I need to make this
office more conducive
to running
a successful company,
which is why these silly
toys have to go.
Careful!
You're going to break
Captain Indestructible!
And don't even think
about touching Fragile Man.
I'm sorry, but these are
the real superheroes...
Fortune 500 CEOs.
What company does she run?
She doesn't. She's
his second wife.
So if this is now your office,
where am I supposed to go?
I assigned you
cubicle fourteen.
It's got a great view...
of cubicle thirteen.
What happened to the cubicles?
[Knox]: We turned them
into a maze!
Isn't it amaze?
Ing?
No, it's a maze.
What's an "ing?"
This is an unauthorized use
of company equipment.
I am going to reprimand
each and every one of you...
once I find you.
How do I get out of here?
We're not telling. You
have to find your way out.
See, Bowie?
That wasn't so bad.
You finished the maze.
I don't know.
I feel like this counts
as cheating.
[Aster]: You couldn't have
pushed over these last four?
[Whimpers]
I agree with Jarvis.
You're supposed to finish
the maze
to earn the wedge of cheese.
My company,
my cheese!
Now put these cubicles back.
And no more fun!
But this place
is supposed to be fun.
We make toys here.
Not anymore.
Your little rat maze
reminded me
the real money's
in mousetraps.
The money's in mousetraps?
It's going to be hard to get
our hands on that money
without hurting our fingers.
[Plodding music]
Ooh, cheese!
[Snap!]
Ow!
That one works.
Pick up the pace, people!
Those mice aren't going
to trap themselves!
Although...that gives me
a great idea...
Invent a product for writing
down your great ideas!
That's a great idea!
I need to write that down.
[Knox]: Ooh, cheese!
Ow!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
This is so degrading.
I know.
We're like faceless cogs
in a giant machine.
I meant wearing
this hideous outfit.
Some of us aren't used
to looking frumpy.
FYI, this is a step up
for the rest of you.
Ooh! Cheese!
[Snap]
Ow!
This is not my job.
My job is not answering phones,
not signing for deliveries,
and not letting Jarvis know
when someone comes to see him!
People come to see me?
Not anymore.
I'm very good at my job.
[Knox]: Ooh! Cheese!
[Snap] Ow!
Sorry, Geneva.
I need a secretary
I can rely on.
After all,
I am a high-powered CEO
of a powerful mousetrap company
who wields
a lot of power.
Ooh! Cheese!
[Snap] Ow!
Great news, guys.
We're all done!
[Cheering]
Not so fast!
Another shipment of
supplies is due
right... about... now.
[Roller coaster rumbles]
Well, he's a ruthless leader,
but at least the trains
run on time.
[♪♪♪]
I'm exhausted.
My feet are killing me.
[Knox]: Really?
That's the only part of me
that feels fine.
[Hoarse]
At least you didn't inhale
an entire lumber yard's worth
of sawdust.
I think I have beige lung.
[Coughs]
Here. Just have
something to drink.
No more free food.
The fridge is now
coin operated.
And so are the stools.
I paid for that one, Piper,
but you only get ten minutes
for a quarter.
Come on.
You can't be seri...
[Buzzer blares]
Aah!
Ha ha.
That's funny.
Jarvis,
this has gotten out of hand.
You have to do something.
[Coin clinks in slot]
Okay, okay.
I'll talk to Bowie.
I wanted to give him a chance,
but he is getting a big head.
No kidding.
It's being installed right now.
[Buzzer blares]
Aah!
Come on!
That was not ten minutes!
[♪♪♪]
I admire your initiative,
wanting to move up
at the company.
But why should I hire you
to be my secretary?
[Speaks other language]
[Sexy] think of something.
Oopsie.
[Grunts in disgust]
Bowie, can I talk to you?
No. But you can talk
to Mr. Sherman.
Mr. Sherman,
can I talk to you?
No. I'm kind of busy.
I have to do
everything myself...
file papers, order supplies,
and interview secretaries.
Don't call us,
we'll call you.
Because if you call us,
no one will answer,
since, as I mentioned,
I don't have a secretary!
Well, you might be
interviewing a lot more people.
I think everyone's
going to quit.
They said that?
Well, no.
But they're pretty unhappy.
You have to do something.
You can't just sit there.
[Buzzer blares]
Why'd I put a coin
slot in my own chair?
[Jarvis laughs]
Are you laughing at me?
Yeah.
It was pretty funny.
You can't laugh at me.
I'm the boss.
You're fired!
What?
You heard me.
Get out.
Come on, Bowie...
Mr. Sherman.
There must be some way
we can work this out.
Oopsie.
Just go!
You fired Jarvis?
On the bright side,
after me and Knox,
you're now
the third most handsome boy
at the company.
I'll assume you're not
including management
in this ranking.
Anyway, with Jarvis gone,
we'll all have to work twice
as hard.
Twice as hard?
But there were five of us,
and now there are four.
We should only
have to work...
Aahhhh! I stumbled
into math!
Get it off me!
Get it off me!
[Coaster rumbles]
What's that?
Whoa!
Someone shrank
the roller coaster,
the building,
and all of...
Ooh! Cheese!
Whoever ordered these supplies
typed the measurements
in feet instead of inches.
Who's the geeenius
who did that?
That would be me.
I did it... on purpose.
Because, as you correctly
pointed out, I'm a genius.
Although I'm not sure
why you pronounced it
"geeenius."
Why would anyone want
a mousetrap so big?
They're not mousetraps.
That's a misspelling!
See?
These should say "moosetrap"!
The real money's in moosetraps.
I don't think
that's right.
Enough of this game
of cat and moose!
Get back to work and be
as quiet as a church moose!
Now, don't bother me.
I'll be over here reading
"Of Moose and Men."
[♪♪♪]
Are you all right?
Please say no.
No.
Yes!
What's wrong?
You wouldn't understand.
I lost my toy company
to an obnoxious kid.
I wouldn't understand?
No.
You lost your toy company
to a cool, handsome kid.
If I could just
get close to Bowie,
maybe I could
get my company back.
Wait.
Is that why you're here?
What?
Are you interviewing
for the secretary job?
[Scoffs]
Please.
I used to run this company
before I lost it
to an obnoxious...
-Cool, handsome...
-Kid.
If I were anything
less than the owner,
I could never show my face
around here.
What if you didn't
show your face?
And I don't just mean
as a public service.
Maybe I could
wear a mask!
Do you think it's possible
to fool everyone
in this building
with a disguise?
[Cackles]
Maybe.
Wait.
Did I inadvertently help
you solve your problem?
Please say no.
Yes.
No!
I see here you've been
secretary to presidents,
prime ministers,
and Captain Indestructible.
Very impressive resume,
Miss Thompson.
Please, sugar.
Call me Edna.
Okay, Edna.
World leaders
are one thing,
but can you handle the
pressure of assisting
the head of
the world's largest
and, okay, only
moosetrap manufacturer?
Well, I think I can,
Honey Pie.
And as you can see here,
I speak fluent moose.
Mrrrraaaaaaooooooohhhhh!
Wow, Edna,
that's rather inappropriate.
But I like your attitude!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
I'm impressed, Ginger Snap!
You supervise
the assembly line personally?
I like to have my finger
in as many pies as possible.
It's important.
And also extremely hot.
[Blowing]
But I don't need to supervise
my employees too much.
They work hard because
they respect my authority.
Are you sure about that,
Puddin' Cup?
My employees did that?
That can only mean one thing.
That's right, Gumdrop.
They want me to grow
a moustache!
Way ahead of you!
I started a month ago!
Knox, why aren't you testing
the moosetraps?
We found a new way!
Yay!
I'm sure now you can see
what's going on,
Peanut Brittle.
I can.
They're excited
the product worked!
Come on now,
Lemon Square.
Doesn't this sort of
remind you of you?
What? No.
It doesn't even have
a moustache.
[Gasps]
It is me!
[♪♪♪]
Edna, I think all
my employees hate me.
What makes you say that,
Peach Cobbler?
It's just a feeling I have.
Also, they keep telling me.
I hate you, Bowie.
Looking good, Edna!
You know I am!
I thought I'd love
being the boss...
but I miss the old days.
Back then, everyone loved me!
I don't remember that.
Because I wasn't here,
Donut Hole.
I wish I didn't
own this company.
Well, Ice Cream Sandwich,
why don't you just give
the company back
to the cool, handsome young
man that used to own it?
I make it my business
to know my business,
Store-Bought
Birthday Sheet Cake.
I can't give the company
back to Jarvis.
If I do, he'll know I failed.
Everyone knows you failed,
Cinnamon Sugar
Soft Pretzel Bite!
Not Jarvis.
He's my best friend!
No offence, Edna,
you're a good friend too,
but you're no Jarvis.
If he's your best friend,
why'd you fire him,
Funnel Cake
with Banana Slices?
I just got so caught up
in being a leader
that I lost my way.
[Sighs]
Well, I'm sure
he'll be understanding,
Low-Fat Baklava
with Walnuts.
No. He can never know.
The only thing to do
is to get him to sue me
and win back the company.
Sue you?
For what, Caramel Pear
Cheesecake Trifle?
Wrongful termination?
Nope.
For horribly,
horribly injuring him.
[♪♪♪]
All right.
I've called Jarvis
and told him
to come get his stuff.
But instead of
getting his stuff,
he's going to get horribly,
horribly injured.
Are you sure
this is the best plan,
Flourless Chocolate
Espresso Cake
Topped with Seasonal Berries
and Creme Fraiche?
It's the only plan.
When he walks in,
he'll slip on this mango peel!
Everyone suspects
a banana peel,
but no one suspects
a mango peel,
even though, scientifically,
mango peels are actually
slightly slipperier.
They measure a 9.7
on the "Wuuuaaaahhh" Scale,
developed
by acclaimed physicist
Randall Wuuuaaaahhh.
Oh.
Slipping on a mango peel
doesn't sound too bad.
And then when he's down,
I'll hit him with this bat.
It's been six hours...
[Coin clatters in slot]
and countless
delicious nicknames.
Maybe Jarvis isn't coming.
He must hate me so much,
he doesn't even
want to see my face.
Perhaps if you let me
go call him for you?
I better take this
bat for protection.
You can't go!
I need you to be my witness.
To prove that I'm responsible
for the brutal attack
that severely injures
my best friend!
[snap] Ow!
Edna! Are you okay?
Wuuuaaaahhh!
[Groans]
[Groans]
[♪♪♪]
Everyone, I have an
announcement to make,
but first I'd like to thank
you all for your hard work,
and for encouraging me to grow
this sweet moustache.
Great.
Now we'd like you to lose
two teeth and grow devil horns.
On it!
Now for my announcement.
I'm making Knickknack
an employee-owned company.
It belongs to all of you now.
[All chatter happily]
Really?
We can sell toys again?
And we can wear
whatever we want?
[Clothing tears]
And we can go to the bathroom
whenever we want?
You could always do that.
Oh. Excuse me.
Anyway,
as owners of the company,
you guys will get all
the income, all the profits,
all the lawsuits...
Lawsuits?
Who would sue us?
No one.
[Edna groans]
[♪♪♪]
Bowie, you wanted me
to pick up my stuff?
Surprise!
What are you doing?
Oh yeah.
That's not the plan anymore.
The plan is you're getting
your company back.
Bowie gave it to us, and
we're giving it back to you.
Welcome back, boss!
This is amazing!
You guys are the best!
There is one condition.
You're not allowed to fire
that sweet old secretary, Edna.
I'm not?
No. She's so nice!
She didn't sue us
despite her debilitating
moosetrap injury.
He's busy right now,
but I'll have him
call you back...
Cinnamon and Spice Shredded
Baby Carrot
and Golden Raisin Cake
with Homemade Sweetened Italian
Mascarpone Cream Cheese Frosting
with Candied Black Walnut
and Minced Crystallized Ginger.
[sighs]
[♪♪♪]
[Tree crashes down]
Was that a tree
falling in the forest?
Nah, it couldn't be.
I heard it.
It must be one of those
Knickknack Brand Moosetraps.
When a Knickknack Moosetrap
catches one of us moose,
there's no getting away...
thanks mostly to Knickknack's
non-slip holding bar,
which measures only 0.2
on the Wuuuaaaahhh Scale.
[ANNOUNCER]:
Moosetraps from Knickknack.
I'm P. Everett Knickknack.
The "P" stands for
pest control!
[Snap!]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[Jarvis]: Previously,
on "Some Assembly Required..."
We never thought
to recall
all those old Knickknack
chemistry sets that explode!
They must still be
on store shelves!
I wonder what cool
chemistry stuff is in here?
Bowie, don't!
[Rattles]
[Loud explosion]
[Laughing]
It's not funny!
Your chemistry set
blew up my face!
[Laughing]
So sue me!
Okay!
[Gavel raps]
I can't believe the jury
made me
the new owner of the company!
[♪♪♪]
My very own company!
This is like
some wonderful dream,
except
I'm not wearing a mankini...
and you guys
aren't made of spaghetti.
Unless...
It's not a dream!
Unless...
Still not a dream.
Yeah, more like
my nightmare.
You nightmare about me?
Anyway, Jarvis, I need to talk
to you about the graphics
for our new video game
where you rob furniture stores,
"Grand Theft Ottoman."
[Shattering glass, screaming
from tablet speakers]
I like the way
those two thugs knock over
that wicker store.
Excuse me.
Shouldn't you be running
that by me, the boss?
Is he serious?
If by "he,"
you mean "me,"
and by "serious"
you mean "serious,"
then the answer is yes.
And by "yes,"
I mean "yes."
[Worried chatter]
Hey!
No one thought I could
run a toy company
when I took it over.
We should give
Bowie a chance.
I'm sure he's not going
to change everything.
You know what they say!
"If it ain't broke,
don't fix it."
And it was all broke!
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find our way
around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
This is miserable.
It's like I'm a zoo animal.
[Aster]: How so?
People enjoy looking
at zoo animals.
That's it, Aster.
Where are you?
I don't know!
[Whimpers]
Don't worry!
I'll find you, little guy!
[Splashes]
Oops.
Sorry, Mrs. Bubkes.
I'll get out of your way.
I know it's pretty crowded
in here.
[Speaks other language]
Meeskatania [Speaks language]
luxury apartment.
Yeah, well,
there's not even enough room
in here for my shoes.
How big are your feet?
We've got to do
something!
We're going to go
crazy in here!
No kidding.
Mmm-boing is already
bouncing off the walls.
[Hyperactive bouncing]
[♪♪♪]
Bowie, I get
that you're in charge,
and I want to be supportive.
But do I really have
to wear this suit?
Hey!
I don't hear your co-workers
complaining about it.
I need to make this
office more conducive
to running
a successful company,
which is why these silly
toys have to go.
Careful!
You're going to break
Captain Indestructible!
And don't even think
about touching Fragile Man.
I'm sorry, but these are
the real superheroes...
Fortune 500 CEOs.
What company does she run?
She doesn't. She's
his second wife.
So if this is now your office,
where am I supposed to go?
I assigned you
cubicle fourteen.
It's got a great view...
of cubicle thirteen.
What happened to the cubicles?
[Knox]: We turned them
into a maze!
Isn't it amaze?
Ing?
No, it's a maze.
What's an "ing?"
This is an unauthorized use
of company equipment.
I am going to reprimand
each and every one of you...
once I find you.
How do I get out of here?
We're not telling. You
have to find your way out.
See, Bowie?
That wasn't so bad.
You finished the maze.
I don't know.
I feel like this counts
as cheating.
[Aster]: You couldn't have
pushed over these last four?
[Whimpers]
I agree with Jarvis.
You're supposed to finish
the maze
to earn the wedge of cheese.
My company,
my cheese!
Now put these cubicles back.
And no more fun!
But this place
is supposed to be fun.
We make toys here.
Not anymore.
Your little rat maze
reminded me
the real money's
in mousetraps.
The money's in mousetraps?
It's going to be hard to get
our hands on that money
without hurting our fingers.
[Plodding music]
Ooh, cheese!
[Snap!]
Ow!
That one works.
Pick up the pace, people!
Those mice aren't going
to trap themselves!
Although...that gives me
a great idea...
Invent a product for writing
down your great ideas!
That's a great idea!
I need to write that down.
[Knox]: Ooh, cheese!
Ow!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
This is so degrading.
I know.
We're like faceless cogs
in a giant machine.
I meant wearing
this hideous outfit.
Some of us aren't used
to looking frumpy.
FYI, this is a step up
for the rest of you.
Ooh! Cheese!
[Snap]
Ow!
This is not my job.
My job is not answering phones,
not signing for deliveries,
and not letting Jarvis know
when someone comes to see him!
People come to see me?
Not anymore.
I'm very good at my job.
[Knox]: Ooh! Cheese!
[Snap] Ow!
Sorry, Geneva.
I need a secretary
I can rely on.
After all,
I am a high-powered CEO
of a powerful mousetrap company
who wields
a lot of power.
Ooh! Cheese!
[Snap] Ow!
Great news, guys.
We're all done!
[Cheering]
Not so fast!
Another shipment of
supplies is due
right... about... now.
[Roller coaster rumbles]
Well, he's a ruthless leader,
but at least the trains
run on time.
[♪♪♪]
I'm exhausted.
My feet are killing me.
[Knox]: Really?
That's the only part of me
that feels fine.
[Hoarse]
At least you didn't inhale
an entire lumber yard's worth
of sawdust.
I think I have beige lung.
[Coughs]
Here. Just have
something to drink.
No more free food.
The fridge is now
coin operated.
And so are the stools.
I paid for that one, Piper,
but you only get ten minutes
for a quarter.
Come on.
You can't be seri...
[Buzzer blares]
Aah!
Ha ha.
That's funny.
Jarvis,
this has gotten out of hand.
You have to do something.
[Coin clinks in slot]
Okay, okay.
I'll talk to Bowie.
I wanted to give him a chance,
but he is getting a big head.
No kidding.
It's being installed right now.
[Buzzer blares]
Aah!
Come on!
That was not ten minutes!
[♪♪♪]
I admire your initiative,
wanting to move up
at the company.
But why should I hire you
to be my secretary?
[Speaks other language]
[Sexy] think of something.
Oopsie.
[Grunts in disgust]
Bowie, can I talk to you?
No. But you can talk
to Mr. Sherman.
Mr. Sherman,
can I talk to you?
No. I'm kind of busy.
I have to do
everything myself...
file papers, order supplies,
and interview secretaries.
Don't call us,
we'll call you.
Because if you call us,
no one will answer,
since, as I mentioned,
I don't have a secretary!
Well, you might be
interviewing a lot more people.
I think everyone's
going to quit.
They said that?
Well, no.
But they're pretty unhappy.
You have to do something.
You can't just sit there.
[Buzzer blares]
Why'd I put a coin
slot in my own chair?
[Jarvis laughs]
Are you laughing at me?
Yeah.
It was pretty funny.
You can't laugh at me.
I'm the boss.
You're fired!
What?
You heard me.
Get out.
Come on, Bowie...
Mr. Sherman.
There must be some way
we can work this out.
Oopsie.
Just go!
You fired Jarvis?
On the bright side,
after me and Knox,
you're now
the third most handsome boy
at the company.
I'll assume you're not
including management
in this ranking.
Anyway, with Jarvis gone,
we'll all have to work twice
as hard.
Twice as hard?
But there were five of us,
and now there are four.
We should only
have to work...
Aahhhh! I stumbled
into math!
Get it off me!
Get it off me!
[Coaster rumbles]
What's that?
Whoa!
Someone shrank
the roller coaster,
the building,
and all of...
Ooh! Cheese!
Whoever ordered these supplies
typed the measurements
in feet instead of inches.
Who's the geeenius
who did that?
That would be me.
I did it... on purpose.
Because, as you correctly
pointed out, I'm a genius.
Although I'm not sure
why you pronounced it
"geeenius."
Why would anyone want
a mousetrap so big?
They're not mousetraps.
That's a misspelling!
See?
These should say "moosetrap"!
The real money's in moosetraps.
I don't think
that's right.
Enough of this game
of cat and moose!
Get back to work and be
as quiet as a church moose!
Now, don't bother me.
I'll be over here reading
"Of Moose and Men."
[♪♪♪]
Are you all right?
Please say no.
No.
Yes!
What's wrong?
You wouldn't understand.
I lost my toy company
to an obnoxious kid.
I wouldn't understand?
No.
You lost your toy company
to a cool, handsome kid.
If I could just
get close to Bowie,
maybe I could
get my company back.
Wait.
Is that why you're here?
What?
Are you interviewing
for the secretary job?
[Scoffs]
Please.
I used to run this company
before I lost it
to an obnoxious...
-Cool, handsome...
-Kid.
If I were anything
less than the owner,
I could never show my face
around here.
What if you didn't
show your face?
And I don't just mean
as a public service.
Maybe I could
wear a mask!
Do you think it's possible
to fool everyone
in this building
with a disguise?
[Cackles]
Maybe.
Wait.
Did I inadvertently help
you solve your problem?
Please say no.
Yes.
No!
I see here you've been
secretary to presidents,
prime ministers,
and Captain Indestructible.
Very impressive resume,
Miss Thompson.
Please, sugar.
Call me Edna.
Okay, Edna.
World leaders
are one thing,
but can you handle the
pressure of assisting
the head of
the world's largest
and, okay, only
moosetrap manufacturer?
Well, I think I can,
Honey Pie.
And as you can see here,
I speak fluent moose.
Mrrrraaaaaaooooooohhhhh!
Wow, Edna,
that's rather inappropriate.
But I like your attitude!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
I'm impressed, Ginger Snap!
You supervise
the assembly line personally?
I like to have my finger
in as many pies as possible.
It's important.
And also extremely hot.
[Blowing]
But I don't need to supervise
my employees too much.
They work hard because
they respect my authority.
Are you sure about that,
Puddin' Cup?
My employees did that?
That can only mean one thing.
That's right, Gumdrop.
They want me to grow
a moustache!
Way ahead of you!
I started a month ago!
Knox, why aren't you testing
the moosetraps?
We found a new way!
Yay!
I'm sure now you can see
what's going on,
Peanut Brittle.
I can.
They're excited
the product worked!
Come on now,
Lemon Square.
Doesn't this sort of
remind you of you?
What? No.
It doesn't even have
a moustache.
[Gasps]
It is me!
[♪♪♪]
Edna, I think all
my employees hate me.
What makes you say that,
Peach Cobbler?
It's just a feeling I have.
Also, they keep telling me.
I hate you, Bowie.
Looking good, Edna!
You know I am!
I thought I'd love
being the boss...
but I miss the old days.
Back then, everyone loved me!
I don't remember that.
Because I wasn't here,
Donut Hole.
I wish I didn't
own this company.
Well, Ice Cream Sandwich,
why don't you just give
the company back
to the cool, handsome young
man that used to own it?
I make it my business
to know my business,
Store-Bought
Birthday Sheet Cake.
I can't give the company
back to Jarvis.
If I do, he'll know I failed.
Everyone knows you failed,
Cinnamon Sugar
Soft Pretzel Bite!
Not Jarvis.
He's my best friend!
No offence, Edna,
you're a good friend too,
but you're no Jarvis.
If he's your best friend,
why'd you fire him,
Funnel Cake
with Banana Slices?
I just got so caught up
in being a leader
that I lost my way.
[Sighs]
Well, I'm sure
he'll be understanding,
Low-Fat Baklava
with Walnuts.
No. He can never know.
The only thing to do
is to get him to sue me
and win back the company.
Sue you?
For what, Caramel Pear
Cheesecake Trifle?
Wrongful termination?
Nope.
For horribly,
horribly injuring him.
[♪♪♪]
All right.
I've called Jarvis
and told him
to come get his stuff.
But instead of
getting his stuff,
he's going to get horribly,
horribly injured.
Are you sure
this is the best plan,
Flourless Chocolate
Espresso Cake
Topped with Seasonal Berries
and Creme Fraiche?
It's the only plan.
When he walks in,
he'll slip on this mango peel!
Everyone suspects
a banana peel,
but no one suspects
a mango peel,
even though, scientifically,
mango peels are actually
slightly slipperier.
They measure a 9.7
on the "Wuuuaaaahhh" Scale,
developed
by acclaimed physicist
Randall Wuuuaaaahhh.
Oh.
Slipping on a mango peel
doesn't sound too bad.
And then when he's down,
I'll hit him with this bat.
It's been six hours...
[Coin clatters in slot]
and countless
delicious nicknames.
Maybe Jarvis isn't coming.
He must hate me so much,
he doesn't even
want to see my face.
Perhaps if you let me
go call him for you?
I better take this
bat for protection.
You can't go!
I need you to be my witness.
To prove that I'm responsible
for the brutal attack
that severely injures
my best friend!
[snap] Ow!
Edna! Are you okay?
Wuuuaaaahhh!
[Groans]
[Groans]
[♪♪♪]
Everyone, I have an
announcement to make,
but first I'd like to thank
you all for your hard work,
and for encouraging me to grow
this sweet moustache.
Great.
Now we'd like you to lose
two teeth and grow devil horns.
On it!
Now for my announcement.
I'm making Knickknack
an employee-owned company.
It belongs to all of you now.
[All chatter happily]
Really?
We can sell toys again?
And we can wear
whatever we want?
[Clothing tears]
And we can go to the bathroom
whenever we want?
You could always do that.
Oh. Excuse me.
Anyway,
as owners of the company,
you guys will get all
the income, all the profits,
all the lawsuits...
Lawsuits?
Who would sue us?
No one.
[Edna groans]
[♪♪♪]
Bowie, you wanted me
to pick up my stuff?
Surprise!
What are you doing?
Oh yeah.
That's not the plan anymore.
The plan is you're getting
your company back.
Bowie gave it to us, and
we're giving it back to you.
Welcome back, boss!
This is amazing!
You guys are the best!
There is one condition.
You're not allowed to fire
that sweet old secretary, Edna.
I'm not?
No. She's so nice!
She didn't sue us
despite her debilitating
moosetrap injury.
He's busy right now,
but I'll have him
call you back...
Cinnamon and Spice Shredded
Baby Carrot
and Golden Raisin Cake
with Homemade Sweetened Italian
Mascarpone Cream Cheese Frosting
with Candied Black Walnut
and Minced Crystallized Ginger.
[sighs]
[♪♪♪]
[Tree crashes down]
Was that a tree
falling in the forest?
Nah, it couldn't be.
I heard it.
It must be one of those
Knickknack Brand Moosetraps.
When a Knickknack Moosetrap
catches one of us moose,
there's no getting away...
thanks mostly to Knickknack's
non-slip holding bar,
which measures only 0.2
on the Wuuuaaaahhh Scale.
[ANNOUNCER]:
Moosetraps from Knickknack.
I'm P. Everett Knickknack.
The "P" stands for
pest control!
[Snap!]
[♪♪♪]