Solsidan (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Åldersnoja - full transcript

No, they don't have yoghurt with
vanilla, rhubarb, and mango.

Vanilla, rhubarb, mandarin
or rhubarb, mango... Guatemala.

No... Guarana, yes.

Guarana. Yes, I'll buy it.
Okay. Kiss. Bye.

Guarana. Why do they have fruit flavors
where you don't know what it even is?

No one says: "Now this would be good
if it had some guarana."

or "Honey, can you buy
one kilogram of guarana."

Hi!

It's been ages!

Hello Alex! How's it going?
-Good.

Who the hell is this?
- And you?



Great! Three kids,
so it's full speed at home.

Divorced, admittedly,
but living the life.

An old one-night stand?

You work as a dentist, no?
-Yes, I became a dentist. And you?

God, you know how it is.
Same old place.

So you are in... the same old place.

Still with "Cut and Ready,"
still living in Fisksätra,

so it's a bit status quo,
you could say.

And Linda was there the other week.
You know, Linda Ryckert. The...

She lives in Bromma,
married to some guy from Lund.

"Cut and Ready," Fiskis...
Wait, that's her! Sophie!

Sophie, yes! How nice to see you!
You look so different.

You've ...
Crumbled completely.

...done something with your hair.
Haven't you?



So you notice? That's
really attentive of you.

You really resemble
your dad.

Yes?
-Yes.

Now I have to bounce, kids are
in the car, you know how it is.

Great fun to see you again, really.
-Bye, Sophie.

Bye bye!

She must have been joking?
I do not look like my dad.

I'm not a grumpy old man.

Damn, what is this music!

Hey, honey!
-Hey hey!

Who are the people who call in
to these kinds of stupid questions?

09930501...
-Look how nice.

What is it?
-Invitation to Viktor's party.

"Viktor 5 years old. Come and celebrate
Viktor. An unforgettable experience"

"with music, food
and festive fireworks."

57 people invited. The whole kindergarten and
everyone on the street between 3 and 6 years old.

He turns 5, not 50.
-Children's parties are like this nowadays.

A four course buffet?

And this is so professional looking.
Have you hired a party planner?

Lussan always does.
Gustaf turns five on Friday

and that will surely be an awesome
party. I have to call for the cake design.

"In cooperation with Party Fixers"...
Did you hire someone?

God, what I'm put through!

Blue linoleum, that's quite neat.

How can you put blue linoleum flooring?
-Am I getting old?

They do have really nice hardwood floors.
-Yes, I agree, but you ...

Answer the question now.
-No. You think so?

I don't know.
I want to know what you think.

I've always liked
Bridge candies. Answer me.

I don't think you're old.
You're not a youngster anymore...

...but a young-at-heart 39-year-old.
-Do you think so?

One would think that you are 37,
if you would use some cream here and there.

Thanks for that, darling.
Do you want to taste the old man candy?

There's nuts in it?
-I don't know.

I have to get my glasses.
Is it cold in here?

At the same time, I thought, lobster?
"Surprise me", you know.

What about Viktor's party?
-Great!

We'll be on the beach
and have party tents, food and games.

We felt it was a bit cold outside,
so we rented the island observatory.

We have gas heaters
if it's too cold.

There'll be four course hamburger
menus from Texas Longhorn.

We checked it out too, but Grand Hotel
has a healthier party buffet.

There was some Thai, some Lebanese,
a bit mixed. Incredibly nice.

We will go with that.
-How nice to have something new!

After, we'll watch Ratatouille
on Freddes home theater.

How cozy! We wanted more of a
classic live entertainment

so we hired Magician Tobbe.

He comes and performs magic for
the children. It's the party highlight.

Did you book an artist?
Yes! Ages ago.

This was nice. Thanks so much.

Thanks. See you.

Those are Chris and Jonas. They're
helping us book an artist for the party.

A clown or a magician.
-Cost?

It depends. Here's some food for you.

Have you cooked?
-No, I've ordered from Grand.

I've worked around the clock for
the whole month. Here's more money.

It's actually still
a little cold, though.

I'll go and work some more.
See you later. Bye.

I thought of another thing.
We've talked about it and you said no,

but Viktor's been nagging
and nagging for a labrador.

Can not we give in for his
birthday? One of those little cuties?

You'll love how cosy it is.
-Do I have a choice?

You arrange it
and go to the pet shop.

Don't buy any party tents,
Alex has several.

What does this cost?
525 bucks.

Is this part of a party tent?
No, that's a shower rod.

Do you know who I met at the store?
Sophie Malm, 'Stylish Sophie'.

She was a dream.

She never wanted to dance.
-"No, my feet hurt."

I hardly recognized her.
She was a nine, ten in school.

Now she was a five. She's collapsed
and looks like a cardboard box.

Appearance scores
converge with the years.

Check this out.

Here are the good looking
and here's the ugly.

The handsome and stylish
look worse and worse.

The ugly and the pimply, you and I,
look increasingly better.

In the end, we all have
the same appearance score.

I'm ugly?
What's my score?

You are a five.
-I'm surely a six, seven?

No. You were a three at school,
Today you're a five.

You're like a bond fund,
you go up a little each year.

Sophie's like the Framfab stock,
she completely crashed.

You're in the same market now.
You've got a shot at her.

I'm not interested.
-Why did you mention it, then?

Is this the dream?
Staying in the same block we were born?

Do everything our parents did,
stare at the television every night.

We have it good. We live well,
eat well, drink well, we're healthy ...

...play bingo, make trips
and even take healthy shits.

Let life take its course. Relax!

You may be right.

Only a five?

12,000 for a labrador?
Yes, roughly.

My wife has decided I should go bankrupt
before the weekend. Do you take Amex?

We do not sell dogs directly,
you get a turn with a dog breeder.

This is a pet store?
-Yes, but those are the rules.

Do you have a number so that I
can get one on the way home?

There's eight weeks of waiting time,
so that'd be a little difficult.

You have no clearance stock?

"It is you at home, the public,
that controls everything.

Our four-headed panel
also gives their opinion.

Let's Dance!"

What are you doing?
-We cannot watch this.

Can't we go to a restaurant?
-We just ate.

Stop it! Turn on the TV.
It's the semifinals, I want to see it.

But can't we... go to the club.

Can't we do something? Go out?

You go out and dance.
I want to be home.

I've already done that.
What, "that"?

Party, go out and booze,
drink, do hash and dance.

Hash? Have you smoked pot?
Have you done drugs?

Well, I've smoked,
like everyone else in theatre school.

Right! I never did it,
I went to dental school.

Nothing happened there,
nobody smoked hashish.

Be glad about it.
-I'm not. Tonight I'm going out.

With or without you, I'm going out.
-Go out, then.

Who will you call, it's half past nine.
Plenty of guys want to go out with me.

Yeah. Okay.

Should you try to sleep a bit so
you'll be well-rested tomorrow?

It will be a
huge party tomorrow.

I don't want a big party.

You don't want a big party?
But it will be such fun.

I don't want a big party!

Won't Magician Tobbe be fun?
-No!

What would you like then?
-Just you and mom. And a dog.

But some friends can come too?
-No.

Whatever I do, it's no good.
It's all Lussans fault, she started it.

What do we do?
-Cancel all of it.

Can we, so late?
-I don't know, we can try.

You get that dog!
I'll check on the block.

Fredrik Schiller.
-Hey, it's Alex.

Let's go out tonight
and get down?

No, no, I can't.
I must get hold of a labrador.

That's fine, we'll meet another time.

Alex?

Hey, Abbe, it's Alex.
You want to go out tonight?

Another time then. Bye.

Hey, it's Alex.
You want to go out tonight?

Hey, it's Alex. I live at
Örtagårdsvägen, near the church.

We usually cheer for each other.
I practically live across the street.

Hey, it's Alex Löfström
from 9A.

I understand.

Hello, this is Dr. Löfström.
No, nothing about your teeth.

I just wanted to check if you'd like
to have a beer this evening. No, I'm married.

No, no... sorry, I just...

Hey, it's Alex.
How are you, Ove?

A four-day ski pass, 850 bucks,
and 1100 for a five-day pass.

Then it pays not to take more
days. I told the receptionist.

I have very painful feet.
We should have taken a taxi.

We save 50 bucks taking the train.
Your feet will be tired anyway.

Where are we going?
Khalma. It's right here.

What the hell? What is this?

Broccoli and ädelost pie?
But it was the...

Excuse me, guys.
Shouldn't Khalma be here?

Khalma, the nightclub, you know?

Kharma, you mean?
-Yes, exactly. Has it moved?

It was on Sturegatan,
but it closed 45 years ago.

Yeah. And now, where?
-What do you mean?

Where do people go now?

Did you take the train from Upplands Vasby?
It must be expensive by taxi.

Finally! Hi there.

It's full.
-Full?

I don't think it is.
-It is.

Why can they go in?

The dads out on the town, or?

Go up to the main street.
There's a place called Golden Hits.

It's probably more your thing.
Try it.

Then we'll go there.
Very friendly. Good tips.

It is apparently full in here.
-Ove...

Hey! It was me
who called about the dog.

A little late, but it's
for a party tomorrow.

Wait here.

Okay, it's one of those.
That's not a puppy, huh?

No. Eleven years.
-Oh, damn!

Is its leg broken?
-It's old, all right.

Do you want the dog or not?
-I don't know.

I have paid four rounds and
you paid three, so no fuss.

Whatever. Do you see anyone
sitting over there? Sophie!

Sofi Malm from co-schooling.
-Damn!

I was in love with her
in high school.

But hell, she has plummeted.
Don't you think?

Convergence theory, you see?
Nothing abnormal.

What did you say?
-Convergence theory.

Those who are young and stylish
get uglier with age.

Those who are ugly become a bit more handsome.
All seniors are equally good-looking.

She was a nine at school, I was a four.
Now we're both a five.

Now I have a shot at her.

It's true! You want to bet?
-You don't have a chance.

We'll bet. Hundred bucks.
-Twenty bucks.

Done! Keep your eyes peeled,
don't fall asleep now.

Not a chance, Alex!

You need more silver.
-Sophie!

Why, Alex! How nice!
-Yes.

It was fun to be meet you at the store!
-Unbelievable!

After all these years.

Should we dance a little?

No, my feet really hurt.

Thanks anyway. Really cute.

Okay. Do you know where the bathroom is?
-Yes, around the corner.

Maybe we'll meet at the store again.
-Bye!

Three hundred crowns for the dog,
what do you say?

No deal.
-And if I raise to 500?

No deal.
-A thousand.

No deal.
-No deal either.

You get 1500, but then I want
the leash and collar too.

You're welcome.
-What's his name?

Turbo.
-Turbo?

Turbo, Turbo! Let's go.

Yes, may he live!
Yes, may he live!

Yes, may he live for a hundred years!

Surely he will live!
Surely he will live!

Surely he will live for a hundred years!

What is it?
-That dog can't walk, Daddy.

-Yes it can. It's a puppy.
When it becomes larger, its bones grow.

I told you it would not work.

I think I'm finished here now,
so I figure I'll go.

Send the invoice.
-Thanks so much.

Five years old, man.
How does it feel?

30,000 kroner for a five-year-old
party for the family?

And Markoolio.
Canceled 24 hours before.

And 10,500 for the dog's hip joint.

You could have saved 500 lives
in Sudan with that money.

Convergence theory only applies
if you don't know each other.

It's the typical school
class party syndrome.

Once a geek always geek.
A bullying victim can grow up successful,

but once back at a class party,
he's just that old victim.

You never had a chance
with Sofi.

Good to know.

Should Ove have a chance with Sophie?
-It's not unreasonable.

How? Ove is a troll and a dork.
-He was half cool in school.

You were the real nerd.

But I was cooler than you.
-No, you were not.

Who were you with?
The handball team.

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