Solsidan (2010–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Alex hatar Ove - full transcript

Alex hates Ove, and tries to avoid him. But Alex cannot speak out, so he often ends up in Ove's company nevertheless. In the middle of a quarrel between Alex and Anna the doorbell rings. When Alex opens the door and sees Ove, he gets furious, and shouts to Ove to go away. He screams that Ove is annoying and greedy, and slams the door. Alex's mother Margaretha tells Alex that she wants to become a member of the local golf club, but it will take 22 years, because the queue of applicants is very long. She asks Alex to influence some of his friends in the board to help her become a member immediately. When Fredde informs Alex that Ove is the president of the golf club, Alex realizes that he must reconcile himself with Ove first of all. Ove meets Alex with hostility, but Alex softens him up by inviting him and his wife Anette to dinner. During the dinner the two couples decide to celebrate both Midsummer Eve and New Year's Eve together, although Alex hates the prospect. When Ove is leaving, Alex asks him if he can help Margaretha become a member of the golf club. Ove explains that he cannot, because he is not the president anymore.

What are you looking at?

You're looking at my hair.

You just looked again.
Stop it!

Wouldn't it be nice to go to
New York for a weekend, just you and me?

You can't say New York.
that way. "Njuj??rk".

You can't use local accents.
You don't say "Mehico".

"We're going to Valenthia this fall."

"I'll take the boat to 'Helsingeee'".
Now you look again!

In a few years, we're going to get a boat.
-We are?

You can't live in Saltis without a boat.

It's like living in
Brandbergen without a knife.

There's no point living there
if you don't have a knife.

There is no point in
inventing metaphors either.

Oh, no! Ove and Anette.

Hey, hey! It's been a long time.
-Yes, indeed.

You're cute!
Yes, look what a cute little baby!

Look what a colorless little baby.
Probably as hard as his dad.

How's your stomach?
-Good. I feel less nauseous.

Just a few months to go now.
-How exciting!

The circular saw, Ove.
-Yes, yes, exactly. I'll be done with it soon.

I want it back.
-How about a cup of coffee?

That would be... Really nice,
But we can't, we don't have time.

Why not?
-We're busy. We're going to a meeting.

On a Sunday?
-Yes, a little Sunday meeting.

Sunday meeting? What is it?
-We'll talk and play some squash.

That's a good idea! Great!
-Now we have to go. Bye, bye.

Mom! Hi!

Have you started playing golf?
-I'm trying.

I'm so bad at getting exercise
and everybody's playing.

I'm sorry, I have to pee.
-"Powder your nose", you might say.

You don't have to tell me everything.
-You want me to help you with the clubs?

You know, it's a 22 year waiting list
to get into the club.

-Yes! I'll be 97 years old!

Can't you skip the waiting list?

You have some old classmates.
on the Board of Directors.

Maybe you could give them a call.
-Yes, absolutely. Ouch!

I don't know what it's worth,
but I can give it a try.

Hurry up, I'm in a hurry.
Kiss, darling.

Maybe we should look for a stroller.
There's some really long delivery times.

How much does a stroller cost?
-I think they're expensive.

Hi, it's Alex. Hey, Ove!

That squash we were talking about.
How about doing it tomorrow?

Tomorrow's not going to work.
Anna's booked something.

No, I didn't book anything tomorrow.

But I haven't...

Apparently, tomorrow's fine.
-How nice!

You're going to get whipped!
-Mmm. I'll see you tomorrow. Hey, hey!

And if you don't?

Thanks a lot! It's Ove Sundberg
who wants to squash with me.

Do you get it?
-No. What do you mean?

If you say
"We'll have a squash sometime,"

you can do it six months later or
not at all, but now it's booked.

Then tell him you don't want to hang out.
-You can't get rid of him!

He's like a blow fly on an early
summer morning that does not give up,

and you're too tired
to kill it.

Borrow this. It's graphite
and carbon fiber and stuff.

I'm going to switch to natural.
Someone in the national team helps me.

It will work wonders for you today.

What are you looking at? You're looking up here.
Am I getting thin-haired?

You've always been thin-haired,
But now you're turning bald.

What the hell are you saying?
-Fuck it, it doesn't matter.

The girls like it.
-Except you didn't say that, did you?

You asked! Girls like
testosterone guys who are...bald.

Bald? What a fucking attack!
Nice thank you for lending you a racket.

What about you? Ulf Elving lookalike.

Which celebrities do you think are hot?

Johnny Depp?

What about Russell Crowe?
-Yes, he's hot.

Bruce Willis.

No, not anymore.

We rented a car and went
to Dubrovnik for two days.

It was Monday, I think.
Could have been Tuesday, too.

Now you're stuck on the details
again, Ove. Move on, damn it!

We arrived Friday, relaxed.
Two days at the hotel. Monday...

Thanks, great!

Should we split the bill?
-We'll see about that.

We ate the same, didn't we?

...but you drank Loka Citron.
and I had another drink.

Do they cost differently?

That's 102 kronor for you.
and 98 kronor for me.

Okay... Yes, but then...

Right should be right.
-Yes, it's important...

What are you doing next weekend?
What do you mean? I don't understand.

We could spend some time with the family.
-We're busy.

With what?
-We're going...

... orienteering.

Anna's an orienteer,
I support her.

How is that possible when she's pregnant?
-It's mother orienteering.

Flat forests... I have to go now.
I'll leave the tip.

Where are you going?
-To the parking lot...

That's going to be fine.
That's nice.

What are you doing? Are you going to wear a hat?

You can't wear a hat.
Artists wear hats,

not fund managers
with Gant chinos.

It doesn't fit
with the rest of your style.

Like Dregen in Henri Lloyd's jacket.

-Yes, yes. The one in Alcazar.

No. But, Fredde... not a hat.

First child?

There's only a few months left.
-Oh! Exciting.

Makes you want to start watching
for strollers. This one, how much?

Let me start by asking this:

safety, does it feel important
for you and your child?


Let's start looking over
here instead.

9,000 kronor! Am I reading it right?
-You don't have to scream like that.

I'm genuinely shocked.
-That's what a stroller costs.

You get a decent Mazda for 9,000!

You can't compromise on
quality in the case of a child.

Would you buy a secondhand incubator?
-You don't think 9,000 is expensive?

Well, it's pretty expensive, yes.

Hi! Can I help you?
-Yes, I was wondering if you have...

... something against... so that...
-You want something for hair loss.

We have many different preparations,
including Revistrofanol.

Spray on your bald parts
morning and evening.

Now your hair loss is advanced.
The effect may be small.

But you can always try.


I bought this wagon yesterday.
-A very good choice.

Yes, but we talked a little at home.
We would rather take the one for 4,600.


Now this was a display model
which you bought yesterday.

Unfortunately, we don't have the right to exchange them.

But I bought it yesterday.

That's our store policy,

We can't buy this stroller.
I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.

I'm sorry,
it's all so fucked up.

A child on the way and it's
strollers and hell and loads of shit.

I understand that. I think you
and me are going to sit down.

Let's sit here.

Wow, that's good.

What kind of comfortable armchair is this?
-A breastfeeding armchair.

Designed by Thomas Pedersen.
Wonderful when you're breastfeeding.

It removes pain and facilitates
feeding the child in a fantastic way.

How much does it cost?
-It's at 16,400.

But you know what?

You don't have to have one of these.
You can just breastfeed anyway.

Let's take a look at some
stroller accessories instead.

18,000! Are you insane?
-That's what it costs.

These are accessories we need.
-You were supposed to return the stroller.

But what else will we do?
Everyone else has equipment like this.

It must be safe,
there's supposed to be a baby in here.

You want the kid to die?
-Come on, stop it!

What is this?
A belt.

A belt? For 795 kronor?
What's it for?

I guess to make some kind of brace.
I don't fucking know what for!

Mom's calling.
-You can't talk to Mom now!

I'm the mother here!

Oh, shit! Now I get those
fucking hormone rushes again.

We need to be able to talk about this.
-It's your fault, Alex!

Now I get nosebleeds. Shit!


Yes, I'm coming!

Hey, man. The circular saw...
and some almond cookies.

I thought we could have a cup of coffee.

It's really not the time.
-Just a quickie. Cookies...

Damn it! Can't you see that I don't
have time to hang out with you?

I have 87 things that are more important!
My pregnant wife,

financing the stroller with loans,
having a shit is more important!

But I thought that some cookies...
-Don't think! Go home now!

Think about why nobody wants
to hang out with you!

You're annoying and stingy,
two less than charming qualities!

"My name is Ove and I am
annoying and stingy. Do you want to hang out?"

"Yes, I'd love to." Not!

Get lost, Ove! Get!

I've become Gunvald Larsson.

What's that smell?
-It smells weird.

It's my testosterone.

I thought we'd
ride two-man bob.

Shit! Fuck, fuck!

No action down there.
Fucking stowaway! Wake up!

Honey, we don't have to.

Wait, I need to check something out.

"Can cause impotence"...

Fredde, Fredde, Fredde...

Time to choose.
Boners or hair?

Look what I found at the dump.

We'll save a lot and I can buy
a nice present for Mom.

You think that's a good thing, too.

Who was that?

She wants to know if everything's okay with you.

That's the worst.
-Yes. She's a little nosy.

Good, I'm going to play this weekend.

Do you have Ankan Lindqvist's number?

I'm trying to get mom
into the golf club.

Ove Sundberg is chairman now.
Talk to him.

-Their grounds are better.

Besides, the club is better managed.

But didn't you call someone on the board?

It was more difficult than I thought.

It's tricky to get someone in.
-If you can't, you can't.

I'm going to have to keep myself
occupied with my memories and my houseplants.

I can accept it,
that's life.

Hey, Ove! Hey, man!
I was in the neighborhood.

I'm sorry about the other day,
I had one of those days.

I had a nosebleed,
Anna's hormones were flaring up,

I was out of my way.

You said "get" to me.
Did I? Did I say "get"?

You bullied me like a cat.
I'm not a pussycat.

No, you're Ove Sundberg.

Hey, Anette!

The way you treated me,
you don't treat people.

-I brought bread rolls.

Can't we forget this?

How about a brunch this weekend,
just the four of us?

But Ove is annoying and stingy.
-What do you mean, annoying and stingy?

You said I was annoying and stingy.
-It was a joke.

You're a generous man with a sense of humor.

Why don't we meet this weekend?
We'll have a brunch, an early brunch.

We'll eat long and
hang out in the afternoon.

And then a bonfire dinner and
Irish coffee. My treat.

What kind of dinner?

Then we were in Greece '95, '96,

'98, '99, '01, '03...

'04, not '03.
-No, Anette, it was '03.

No, '03 was Turkey.
-Yes, that's right.

So, '01, '04, '06 and '07
we were in Greece,

but it has become
so horribly expensive there now.

My aunt lives in Santorini.
-Santorini's very expensive.

Samos, on the other hand, is cheap.

In addition, they have a local feta
made from the milk of dwarf sheep.

Better feta cannot found in Europe.
-It's delicious and cheap.

Did you hear that, Anna? Dwarf feta.
That sounds amazing.

Are you going back there this summer?
-Yes, after Midsummer.

-Do you have plans for Midsummer?


It's not set in stone.

No, we haven't completely decided, have we?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
We'll celebrate together.

Yes. Or what do you say?
-Yes, I guess it'll be nice.

Great! It's so nice
to book holidays in advance

so you don't have to sit
and wonder what you'll do.

Yes, exactly.

What are you doing on New Year's Eve?

Die, motherfuckers, die!

You did great setting this up.

How was the orienteering?
-Great. She came in sixth.

Could you fetch her coat?

Ove, I was wondering about something.
Mom started playing golf.

You're the president of the association.
Could you arrange some kind of...

I resigned last week.
There was too much nepotism.

Ankan Lindqvist is chairman again.

Thanks for tonight.
I'll see you midsummer, if not sooner.

And on New Year's Eve.

Hey, hey!
-Hey, hey!

So that's why you
took this nice initiative.

Why we'll celebrate Midsummer and New Year
with northern Europe's most boring couple.

Because your mother
wants to be in the golf club!

No, it wasn't, but it was
a hell of a thing for me to ask, yes.

I can make it up to you.
What do you want?

16,400! Are you insane?

This is unbelievable.

It's not even a button,
you bend it and hang it over.

My head's hurting now.
I got terrible headaches.

Lie down, I'll swing you.
-No, I'm going to take a shower.

I'm sorry, I was wondering if there's
an over-the-counter version of Viagra?

I didn't hear what you said.
-Viagra, damn it!

Is there an over-the-counter variant?
-Yes, over here.

Do I have to use the megaphone
for you to hear me?

This is Indusopatemin.
Take a pill an hour before intercourse.

Does it work on everyone?
-Yes, it's very effective.

There's a side effect...

It can cause hair loss.
Maybe you'd like to think about it.

Then it's a hat.
I don't give a shit what Mickan says.

I have to fuck.