Solar Opposites (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - The Pupa's Big Day - full transcript
This episode is outSTANDing.
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
♪
♪
‐ This is stupid.
How are we still in the same goddamn line
from last episode?
‐ Oh, this could take forever,
that's part of why it's so great!
‐ Have we moved at all?
‐ Not me, but I try
to limit my movements each day
to save energy
in case I run into Tim Burton
so I can punch him in the face
for plagiarizing my whole tone.
‐ Luckily we can't stay in this line
for much longer.
We have to get back to the ship
so we can watch the video
I show you every morning
about the homeworld exploding, all that.
‐ Nah, dawg,
I got it loaded on my phone.
KORVO: [over phone]
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
until the asteroid hit.
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a pupa and escaped‐‐
‐ Are we really making one episode
just go into another
as if we're some kind of
acclaimed television program like 24?
KORVO: [over phone] Stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
This is‐‐ this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Did you see that?
KORVO:
A‐are we really doing this?
TERRY:
We're still in line, baby!
KORVO:
Oh my god, a lazy bottle episode.
KORVO: [over phone]
They have so many emotions.
Th‐they don't know that they can just set
their Candolian mood rings onto peaceful
and get on with their lives.
♪ dramatic theme ♪
‐ You know, you always say
something different?
‐ I do?
Goddammit, Terry. This sucks.
When are we going to get
to do something interesting?
‐ Duh‐duh‐duh, wait for it.
We're about to do something awesome!
[all exclaiming]
‐ How fucking dope was that, chumba?
‐ I refuse to view shuffling forward
as an achievement.
‐ You don't understand.
This line is super rare!
It's what us pro standers call
a Category Five.
‐ You rank them like hurricanes?
‐ Yeah, technically,
this one's named Linda.
She's a real handsome lady.
She's a combination of three lines:
one for a new iPhone,
one for a new sneaker release,
and one for a Howlin' Rays sandwich
branded with a Supreme logo.
‐ This is getting stupider
by the second!
‐ A cat five is not to be missed,
that's why all the most
famous standers are here.
That's Andrew, he was front of the line
for the first Xbox back in '01.
Sarah served three to five
for knifing someone
who tried to cut in line
on a Black Friday at Ann Taylor Loft.
And Kyle Von Titsenburg,
dude with the pointy hat?
Once held a pee for 72 hours.
Plus: great name.
‐ So many motionless celebrities.
I feel like I'm at a wax museum!
‐ I do like all the line shoes and hats
the pros are wearing.
I can't resist the siren song
of hyper‐specific gear.
‐ I got my New Balance Shuffles on,
my touch‐the‐wall‐for‐leverage
Asics gloves,
and my uncle‐hat
so my spots don't get burnt.
‐ Okay, okay,
I'll, I'll give it a chance.
Hey, where's the Pupa going?
Look, he's, he's getting biggie‐size.
I bet he's going to go do
something awesome.
We really should leave the line
and check it out.
‐ The Pupa does love him
some wacky hijinks.
‐ Let's see what he's up to.
Th‐th‐that could be our whole story!
‐ But we can't leave line.
You promised.
‐ Just for a second, so we can see
why the Pupa got so big.
He had a devilish grin!
He's gonna do something Pupa‐y.
Don't tell me you aren't curious.
‐ No, if you leave line for even a second,
you lose your place.
Fighting temptation is
the whole game.
It's like edging, but you can do it
around other people.
‐ Hey! Look at that other line over there!
It's totally moving faster.
‐ Rookie mistake, Yummers. If a line looks
like it's moving, it's just an illusion.
As Kyle Von Titsenburg likes to say,
"Any line worth standing in
doesn't move."
‐ That's stupid.
Fuck you, I'm joining the faster line,
and I'm gonna get my sneakers
way before you.
Later, losers!
Suck my mound!
‐ I always knew you were the smart one.
Stick with me. Okay?
Jesse?
‐ Hello? Are you doing that scary
teenage girl silent treatment thing again?
I told you that freaks me out.
Stop it!
‐ Look at the back of that guy's head.
Purrrr.
‐ That guy? Ugh. He looks like
a melting stick of butter.
‐ His hair is riding that nape.
He has a cowlick
and a wallet chain? Mama like.
‐ Oh boy, here we go.
Every time we're in line, Jesse falls
in love with the back of some guy's head.
‐ Nah‐uh. I'm just thinking about what
the back of those arms would look like
outside the back of that shirt.
‐ Keep it in your dress, Jesse.
[groans]
♪
[bones cracking]
[snores]
[groaning]
‐ Would you stop fidgeting?
I'm in the zone, and you're messing me up.
To really focus, I count the number
of Kardashians over and over,
and you're making me get tripped up
after the obese brother.
‐ Alright, fuck this, if we have
to stand here, I'm doing something.
‐ Oh yeah, like what?
‐ I'm gonna use that ray
that turns everyone into cigarettes,
and then we'll just walk
over everyone.
‐ No!
ASTRONAUT:
Oh fuck!
Houston, the Space Station turned
into cigarettes!
‐ Just like the fortune cookie
said it would!
[both screaming]
‐ Korvo, stop that.
Turning them into anything
would ruin it.
The point of the line is
to be in the line.
‐ But the ray‐‐
‐ No rays, no sci‐fi of any kind.
Just be present in the moment.
‐ Whatever.
I was just trying
to do a hobby you love,
but you really love
stupid stuff that sucks,
so I'm‐I'm‐I'm going to take off.
‐ See if I care. Not everyone has
what it takes to line.
‐ Plus, we have a couple
of Howlin' Rays rays back on the ship.
I'll just shoot some carbon
into a delicious chicken sandwich.
‐ Linus! Wassup, my dawg?
I was hoping I'd see you standing around.
‐ Ter‐bear! The Ter‐inator!
T‐T‐T‐Terry and the Jets!
‐ Oh. Uh‐‐
[Linus grunts]
‐ What the F‐U‐C‐K?
Did you just give that guy
a little smooch?
‐ It's my thing now,
don't hang a light on it.
‐ Thanks for holding my place, Marv.
Hired a hold‐my‐place‐stander
so I wouldn't miss
a good spot next to T‐dog.
He's kinda my line husband.
‐ Oh well, I'm sure you've heard
all about me then.
Korvo. I'm Terry's actual husband
slash unmarried team leader.
‐ Korvo, Kor, Korv‐‐ hmm?
No, he's never mentioned you.
‐ Yes, I have, remember?
I hate the way his eyes
cartoonishly bulge out when he's angry?
‐ They do not!
‐ There they are.
‐ No, I would've remembered.
Terry and I go way back.
I guess we started to fall
in line together
when we were waiting to get
Mr. Wonderful's new set of sponges.
That was a day!
[both laugh]
Remember, remember, remember.
‐ Oh my god!
‐ With the sponges.
‐ Korvo was actually
just about to take off.
He's not really a line guy.
‐ No, I wasn't actually
about to take off.
This line is just getting good!
‐ Really?
‐ Yes. I look forward
to continuing to stand here
with my teammate
slash work husband in crime
slash life Terry
and this person named Lameus.
‐ It's Linus with an "N."
‐ Oh, what did I say?
‐ Oh‐kay, well, uh,
welcome, compadre!
I only brought two bags
of DayQuil Blast Cheez‐Its though,
so you'll have to share.
They're Terry's favorite.
‐ Oooh! Now with extra 'quil?
Goodbye, thoughts.
‐ I thought Terry was
a Mai Tai Goldfish man.
‐ That was so 2019.
But who can keep track?
Terry is always yammering on
about snack foods.
‐ You know me, I'm always "Bugles this"
and "Twizzlers that."
Such a yambone!
[both laugh]
Oh god.
‐ Hah, I knew it! It's always better
to switch to the fastest line.
Wow. Okay, we're running now.
My line rules!
Fuck you, Terry!
[panting]
‐ Man, we've been
in some crazy lines together.
Remember when we pretended
we lost our drivers' licenses
just to hit up the DMV?
‐ It took forever.
God, it's hard to find
a great line these days.
You know, I wish
we could go back in time
and stand in some
bread lines together, Terry.
I would go through
a Great Depression in a second
just to be poor and facing
the same direction on the street with you.
‐ I say that all the time!
‐ I once waited in a line
at the grocery store.
I had too many items
for the express checkout.
So then I had to stand
in another line.
‐ Wow, great story.
‐ Hey now,
we all gotta start somewhere.
‐ Thank you, Linus.
You aren't the only ones
who've stood in line before, Terry.
‐ Remember when we were in line
for the Broadway adaptation of Tenet?
And that homeless guy threw
a bag of shit at you?
Remember we watched him shit
into the bag and we were like,
"I wonder who's gonna get that bag?"
And it was you!
‐ Oh yeah, I think I have photos
of it on my phone.
‐ Hey, what do you think
of this Linus guy?
Jesse?
Are you still all hot
and bothered by Neck Douche?
‐ I can't help it.
I can just picture our life together.
I can't believe you won
this giant bear for me.
‐ It's almost as cute as you are.
‐ Ooh, can I have some
of that cotton candy?
‐ But you're already
the sweetest girl in the world.
‐ Swoon.
‐ Let's ride the Ferris wheel
and dry hump at the top
until it breaks
and we have to get rescued.
‐ Yes, please.
‐ But there's something
I have to ask you first.
Jessica Opposites,
I've loved you
since the moment you saw
the back of my head in line.
You are beautiful. You are smart.
You know how to rock
the fuck out of a polka dot.
Would you do me the honor
of marrying me?
‐ You had me
at Jessica Opposites!
[both moaning]
[Jesse moaning]
[rumbling]
‐ Oh look,
the Pupa's a giant or something!
Ugh, I wish I could see
more than just the top of his head.
[Godzilla screeching]
Oh, shit, is that
a fucking Godzilla too?
I wonder if that's the same Godzilla
that came to town
on a book tour last year.
[thudding, rumbling]
Oh my god, did you hear that?
I think the Pupa is in an epic battle
with a Godzilla.
I bet they're stomping on cars
and pushing over skyscrapers and shit.
We could be doing that!
Terry, can we please just go see
what's happening for a minute?
‐ You can go, Korvo,
but you'll lose your spot.
‐ Ugh, I hate not being in line.
Might as well cut my dick off,
you know?
‐ Right?
‐ Ugh, fine. I'll stay.
‐ I'm loving this hat, T‐rex.
‐ Oh, come on, it's nothing
compared to yours.
‐ Well, here's a little trick
of the trade, you dumb bitch.
You gotta get a cap
that covers your neck.
And that also helps collect
your neck sweat.
It's pretty cool, huh?
‐ Oh. Such a good call.
My cap only covers the top of my head
like a total loser.
‐ You're not a loser, Terry.
You're the coolest guy I know.
‐ Yes. You're also
the coolest guy I know.
‐ You told me yesterday
I should die in a fire.
‐ I‐I was joking.
[stomach rumbles]
‐ Oof, all those hot coins
I swallowed for breakfast
are not sitting right.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
‐ Why? We don't have buttholes.
‐ Yeah, I just sit on the seat
and calm down.
Plus it lets me chew my gum.
The way I chew gum is so disgusting
that I can't do it in front of people.
‐ Fine, I'll save your spot
in line while you go.
[both laughing]
Who are we laughing at?
Did I accidentally quote
a TokTik again?
‐ No. It's just, "Save your spot"
is what a line virgin would say.
‐ You're green, so let me explain.
On the professional line circuit,
what Terry needs
is called a "line check."
And if you're cool like me,
you say it
like a quarterback making an audible:
"Line Check! Omaha.
Hut hut, green 8!"
‐ See, I say "line check"
and the other pros will honor it
because we adhere to
an ancient and noble code.
‐ If you don't line check,
you lose your spot,
but worse, your dignity.
‐ Damn, all these arbitrary rules
are hard to keep track of.
‐ Isn't it great?
[yelling] Line check!
‐ Hey, have fun, Tery‐dactyl.
‐ Thanks for the heads up
on that "line check" thing. Oh!
‐ You listen to me,
you worthless little blue bitch.
Terry is mine, this line is mine,
you are a piece of aardvark shit.
‐ Linus, your behavior is completely
different from a moment ago.
Were you bitten
by some kind of spider?
‐ I've stood in hundreds
of lines with Terry,
and I'm not gonna let you slime in here
and ruin what we have.
So fuck all the way off!
‐ Wait, wait,
you're being two‐faced!
I've heard humans do that,
but I've never seen it in real life.
Fascinating.
‐ Leave now or pay the price.
Don't say I didn't warn you,
fuckhead.
Uh‐oh! Speak of the devil.
Welcome back, Terry‐cloth!
‐ Terry! You'll never guess
what happened.
Linus was completely different
when you left.
He was‐‐ he was very mean
and said lots of insults.
‐ But before I left,
he was super nice.
‐ I know!
Linus, show Terry your other face.
Get‐get all mean
and nasty like you did.
‐ Not sure what
you're talking about, Korvo.
I don't think we spoke a word
when Terry was gone.
You stared at the ground
like a real, um,
like, uh, you're so dumb.
‐ Korvo, you don't have
to make stuff up.
‐ Why would I ever do that?
‐ Maybe you're just a little jealous
of my relationship with Linus.
‐ I have a robe and sweet‐ass crystal
that can make me levitate.
I'll never be jealous of some nerd
who jerks off to lines.
‐ You're embarrassing me.
‐ Hey, remember
when we waited in that line
to get into the first‐ever Jimmy Buffett
Buffet and Urgent Care center
and I almost coded out because I ate
all that shrimp that I'm allergic to?
‐ Oh my god,
so many fat fatties!
[both laugh]
[Jesse moaning]
[Yumyulack panting]
‐ [laughs] This line is unstoppable!
Oh shit, a lake? Oh my god,
oh, we're getting in the water?
Ha, that's genius!
We're going so much faster
than those idiots standing on the street!
[panting]
Hell yeah!
Let's steal these bikes! Sick!
[laughing]
[ringing bike bell]
‐ Come on, Korvo,
do squats with us.
We gotta work out our muscles
to keep them from atrophying.
‐ He wouldn't understand.
Look at his tiny legs.
They're like little matchsticks,
except they'll never be lit.
‐ See, that's that two‐faced shit
right there.
‐ It's called word play,
Mr. Sensitive.
[phone buzzing]
‐ Ooh, I gotta take this.
It's my best friend Jeff.
Terry, you would love him.
We met in a wedding line
for the valet.
‐ Okay, what the fuck is the dealio
with you and Linus?
‐ What, Korvo?
He's my line husband.
You know, like how I have Gerard,
my spin class husband,
and Billy Jr.,
my Sunday afternoon Costco husband.
God, why do you care so much?
‐ I don't, okay. It's just,
he touches your waist a lot.
‐ Oh, it's just how we keep
each other steady in line.
‐ Did you see that alien creature
do ancient martial arts on that Godzilla?
‐ I think he's also going to have
to fight that giant robot
that just came into town.
‐ What? Pupa is fighting
a giant lizard and a robot!
That sounds awesome!
I‐I wish I could see better.
Dammit! This is so frustrating.
I can't see the robot.
I bet it does all sorts
of cool stuff like Chappie!
How does this not frustrate you?
‐ I don't know, 'cause I'm smart?
‐ [laughing] Alright, alright, bye‐bye.
Jeff wanted some tips on smoking
a fuckin' rad pork shoulder.
I consider myself
a grill master of sorts.
What'd I miss?
‐ Hold it!
Linus, you can't get back in line.
‐ [mocking] You can't get back in line.
What are you talking about?
I'm the king of this line.
‐ You didn't call line check.
TERRY: Oh!
‐ I didn't "leave,"
I stepped, like, five feet away.
‐ Well, guess what,
that's called leaving.
How do you like
those wordplay apples?
‐ Oh no, I'm sorry,
Linus, but he's right.
Calling line check is just
a part of the rules,
and without rules,
a line is just people standing around.
You know who said that? Gandhi.
I think. Or Kyle Von Titsenburg.
‐ Either way,
you're outtie‐200, Linus.
You might want to find
an easier line to stand in,
maybe at the park
for the baby swings?
‐ You shut your fuckin' mouth!
You're a line loser.
You should never be allowed
to stand next to a pro like me.
‐ There it is!
Th‐th‐there's the other face!
‐ Whoa, he really
does have two faces.
I thought that was just on TV!
‐ Right?
‐ I hope you both get gonorrhea
and go to hell
and there's no line to get in.
‐ Come on, Linus,
don't be like this.
After all the waiting
we've done together?
‐ You know what?
I'm starting a better line.
‐ You can't do that.
That's against all the ancient codes.
‐ Fuck the codes. I'm Linus.
Line is in my name!
‐ Gasp!
‐ Hey, everyone!
WOMAN: Whoa, is that Linus?
‐ Linus!
‐ He won the Standee
three years in a row.
‐ I see a lot of familiar faces in line.
If you're a pro and not a loser
with blue or green skin
and no butthole,
then follow me
to a better way to stand,
right over here.
‐ We better follow.
‐ Linus knows what he's doing.
‐ Nobody fucks with Linus.
‐ But, but... Come on, guys!
The‐the code!
‐ Korvo, you ruined
the greatest line of my lifetime.
‐ It wasn't my fault. Linus‐‐
‐ Ah, I can't even talk
to you right now.
You wanted to share
one of my hobbies with me,
and you literally made it
my nightmare.
‐ Derr!
‐ Ugh, son of a bitch!
‐ Wow, business is exhausting.
‐ Whoa, babe,
you look like a million bucks.
I mean, you look like
you make a million bucks
being a kickass businesswoman.
‐ I am.
The markets went wild today.
You know how it is,
ups and downs.
Stocks and bonds.
Charts and pies.
‐ I made a veal parmesan
without the veal.
Your fave.
Why don't you kick off those heels
and enjoy a nice meal.
‐ This looks amazing.
[bottle shatters]
But the only thing
I want for dinner is
your hair‐mouth
on my mouth‐mouth, mister.
[both moaning]
‐ I cannot believe
after 10 years of marriage,
we still have so much passion.
‐ Now flip me over like you flipped
that not veal parmesan.
Fingerling me like
your potatoes.
Gravy me!
‐ I love it when you mix food and sex.
Just like my hero Ina Garten.
‐ Wait, what are you looking at?
[woman whispers]
[man chuckles]
‐ That hussy!
No one steals my man!
How could you?
After all our years of marriage!
After I work all day
to pay for your sailboat.
‐ Babe, she's just a friend.
‐ I can't believe this.
The one thing we promised each other
was that we would never cheat.
‐ You're being crazy.
‐ He's playing you, ho.
He totally fingers me on the reg.
‐ I knew it!
‐ She's lying. Don't listen to her.
‐ I can't live like this anymore.
We're through.
I want a divorce.
‐ Terry, t‐talk to me.
‐ You ruined a cat five line.
That's like interrupting the path
of a really strong hurricane.
Who would stop an awesome,
powerful hurricane?
‐ Probably Storm the X‐Men,
because she can control the weather
and it would prevent
a lot of property damage.
‐ Now you're rubbing it in my face
that you're smarter than me.
Great. Keep the hits coming.
‐ Sorry about Linus.
I‐I thought I was respecting line rules,
like you taught me.
‐ I guess I am pretty proud
of you for using the rules.
‐ I'm very good at rules.
‐ Man, I cannot believe
Linus created a new line.
That's like the worst thing
you can do.
Honestly, we should just leave
and go home.
‐ Why? We‐we've been here for hours.
I'm just starting to like the feeling
of hard sidewalk beneath my feet.
‐ Yeah, but we're fucked.
There are now two
legitimate‐looking lines.
So when employees start letting people in,
they won't know which line is real.
The new line is all pros.
Look at the way they stand.
KORVO:
They are standing pretty excellently.
‐ Their posture is impeccable!
We got stuck with a bunch of slouchers.
The store is going to choose
that line for sure.
‐ Terry, look at me.
This is hard for me to say, because
you know I don't like to compliment.
You're almost always lazy and annoying.
‐ Continue.
‐ But you're the best line stander
I've ever seen.
You make it look so easy.
You could stand here for hours
just staring straight ahead,
and you'd have
the time of your life.
‐ That's called being
in the zone, baby!
‐ Remember what you loved
about lines in the first place.
Think back, before all the gear,
magazines,
and lifestyle of lines took over.
‐ Yeah, I just loved
how peaceful it was.
‐ Exactly. You don't need Linus
or any of those pros.
The line isn't out here,
it's inside you.
Has been all along.
‐ You're right, goddammit.
I can do this.
Hey, Linus, you little nose picker.
It's on like ping pong!
You're going down like a clown
with a frown
who's about to get shot!
♪ '80s synth music ♪
♪
‐ What're you‐‐
what're you doing?
‐ I don't need any of this.
I'm going back to the basics.
Back to who I was
when I first fell in love with lines.
‐ [laughs] What a sucker.
Who would ever pick your line?
‐ Terry Opposites would.
And now... we dance.
Metaphorically. Because otherwise
we'd lose our place in line.
‐ Duh!
‐ Aw, hell yeah!
Mud crawling!
This line is playing.
Ow. Ow.
Paintballs?
Ha. I feel like‐‐ ah, ah, ah‐‐
I'm in the military video games I play
so I can bully‐‐ ow‐‐
humans in their 30s.
[panting]
[air horn blares]
‐ Congratulations,
you completed
a Tough Fadder Run.
It's a more violent,
millennial version of a marathon.
‐ So the line is over?
‐ Good work completing
the course today, son.
‐ Oh my god.
All day, I thought I was
in a line but really,
I was in the best line ever!
‐ It wasn't a line!
JESSE:
[gasps] Wait a minute,
she was just asking
if he had a tampon.
And he carries tampons
with him to be helpful.
Oh, he's such a great guy!
I'm so sorry,
I never should've doubted you.
I love you.
I'll love you forever!
‐ Jesse, I would never betray you.
I just like to have
some super‐size tampons on me
at all times for emergencies.
‐ Let's adopt up to 28 rescue dogs
and call each other "babe" forever.
[moaning]
Yes, I love you. Mmm.
No, I love you more. Mmm.
Fine, you do love me more.
[gasps]
A Microsoft Zune face tattoo?
Did he do that for a contest?
Ugh, I'm out!
[glass shatters]
[rumbling, Pupa screeching]
‐ Oh look, it's the Pupa,
Godzilla, and the Giant Robot.
But‐but they're not fighting anymore?
Are‐are they kissing?
What the hell is the story
over there?
‐ Dude, this giant robot
was just handing out PS5s over there.
I got, like, 10.
‐ Hey! Get back here and tell me
how that makes sense!
What's happening over there
with the Pupa?
‐ Oh man, I wish
I could get a PS5.
‐ Who is giving out PS5s?
‐ We gotta stay strong
and defeat Linus.
‐ Of all the days not to be able
to leave a particular area‐‐
TERRY:
They're opening the store! This is it!
Oh, I'm so nervous!
Which line do you think they'll pick?
How's my standing looking?
I'm engaging my core
and doing a Kegel.
‐ You hot as hell.
‐ Why does Linus look so sure?
Wait a hot minute.
What does he know?
[gasps] That's the guy
who called Linus.
He has an inside man!
What a cheating... fuck!
‐ If he's gonna cheat,
we're gonna cheat too.
I'm using sci‐fi.
‐ Korvo, no. I need to get back
to line basics.
No gear, no tricks, no sci‐fi.
If I'm going to lose, at least
I'll lose it the old‐fashioned way.
‐ Terry, you're really showing
a lot of growth here.
I'm proud of you for doing
the right thing.
‐ Time for the ultimate focus
and to get into the zone.
Become one with the line force.
‐ You've got this. Just close your eyes
and think about winning this line.
[laser pulsing]
[standers grunting]
‐ Wait a minute,
they're letting our line in.
I'm winning without cheating!
I beat his ass to hell with honor!
‐ Indeed you did.
‐ I did it! I can't believe it!
I love being honorable.
I'm gonna have integrity forever.
‐ That's the Terry I've never known!
[grunting]
‐ I'm gonna get you fuckers back
for this someday!
Oh and‐‐ Oh, and Terry?
You and me? We're done!
Get yourself a line divorce lawyer
'cause I am headed to the path
of a line separation
that is definitely leading
to a costly line divorce.
‐ Ohh. You can really taste
the Supreme branding.
‐ Ugh. The flavor
of being too cool for me.
‐ Ooh, I love a new iPhone.
Paying for a new one every year
really makes me... feel‐‐
oh shit.
‐ Oh my god. These sneakers.
Oh yeah,
my feet are gonna cum.
Ohh!
[sighs]
Terry, I get it now.
Lines are a metaphor
for the human experience.
It's not about the destination,
it's about the journey.
Because you have to truly believe
in yourself to believe in your line.
‐ Meh, I just like being
the first person with new stuff.
‐ Goddammit, Terry,
that's so stupid!
Why do you like such dumb shit?
‐ I hate to see his face,
but I love to watch
that neck walk away.
‐ [panting]
I was in the coolest line ever.
I got this t‐shirt
and this medal that says,
"I finally bested
my Tough Fadder."
‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm the t‐shirt guy. Hand it over.
‐ I could be the fucking t‐shirt guy
if you ever let me keep one.
‐ Hello, Terry. This is
my new line husband, James.
We're going to wait
for the midnight release
of the new Dan Brown novel together.
It's about how Noah solved murders
at night on his ark.
Ha ha. Two at a time!
‐ Eat shit and die, Linus.
I got all the husband
I need right here.
[burps]
‐ Pupa, there you are.
W‐w‐what happened?
‐ Horseradish!
‐ What?
Jesus, his receptive language is great,
but we really need to work
on his expressive.
‐ Glad somebody said it.
‐ We better not be fucking sitting here
at the beginning of the next episode.
I expect us to be
in a whole other place.
‐ Actually, I think it's kinda‐‐
‐ No, shut the fuck up.
No more connecting episodes
or any of that other streaming bullshit.
If this sentence connects
to the next episode,
I'm going to be really, really‐‐
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
♪
[mimicking laser fire]
♪
♪
‐ This is stupid.
How are we still in the same goddamn line
from last episode?
‐ Oh, this could take forever,
that's part of why it's so great!
‐ Have we moved at all?
‐ Not me, but I try
to limit my movements each day
to save energy
in case I run into Tim Burton
so I can punch him in the face
for plagiarizing my whole tone.
‐ Luckily we can't stay in this line
for much longer.
We have to get back to the ship
so we can watch the video
I show you every morning
about the homeworld exploding, all that.
‐ Nah, dawg,
I got it loaded on my phone.
KORVO: [over phone]
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia
until the asteroid hit.
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a pupa and escaped‐‐
‐ Are we really making one episode
just go into another
as if we're some kind of
acclaimed television program like 24?
KORVO: [over phone] Stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
This is‐‐ this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Did you see that?
KORVO:
A‐are we really doing this?
TERRY:
We're still in line, baby!
KORVO:
Oh my god, a lazy bottle episode.
KORVO: [over phone]
They have so many emotions.
Th‐they don't know that they can just set
their Candolian mood rings onto peaceful
and get on with their lives.
♪ dramatic theme ♪
‐ You know, you always say
something different?
‐ I do?
Goddammit, Terry. This sucks.
When are we going to get
to do something interesting?
‐ Duh‐duh‐duh, wait for it.
We're about to do something awesome!
[all exclaiming]
‐ How fucking dope was that, chumba?
‐ I refuse to view shuffling forward
as an achievement.
‐ You don't understand.
This line is super rare!
It's what us pro standers call
a Category Five.
‐ You rank them like hurricanes?
‐ Yeah, technically,
this one's named Linda.
She's a real handsome lady.
She's a combination of three lines:
one for a new iPhone,
one for a new sneaker release,
and one for a Howlin' Rays sandwich
branded with a Supreme logo.
‐ This is getting stupider
by the second!
‐ A cat five is not to be missed,
that's why all the most
famous standers are here.
That's Andrew, he was front of the line
for the first Xbox back in '01.
Sarah served three to five
for knifing someone
who tried to cut in line
on a Black Friday at Ann Taylor Loft.
And Kyle Von Titsenburg,
dude with the pointy hat?
Once held a pee for 72 hours.
Plus: great name.
‐ So many motionless celebrities.
I feel like I'm at a wax museum!
‐ I do like all the line shoes and hats
the pros are wearing.
I can't resist the siren song
of hyper‐specific gear.
‐ I got my New Balance Shuffles on,
my touch‐the‐wall‐for‐leverage
Asics gloves,
and my uncle‐hat
so my spots don't get burnt.
‐ Okay, okay,
I'll, I'll give it a chance.
Hey, where's the Pupa going?
Look, he's, he's getting biggie‐size.
I bet he's going to go do
something awesome.
We really should leave the line
and check it out.
‐ The Pupa does love him
some wacky hijinks.
‐ Let's see what he's up to.
Th‐th‐that could be our whole story!
‐ But we can't leave line.
You promised.
‐ Just for a second, so we can see
why the Pupa got so big.
He had a devilish grin!
He's gonna do something Pupa‐y.
Don't tell me you aren't curious.
‐ No, if you leave line for even a second,
you lose your place.
Fighting temptation is
the whole game.
It's like edging, but you can do it
around other people.
‐ Hey! Look at that other line over there!
It's totally moving faster.
‐ Rookie mistake, Yummers. If a line looks
like it's moving, it's just an illusion.
As Kyle Von Titsenburg likes to say,
"Any line worth standing in
doesn't move."
‐ That's stupid.
Fuck you, I'm joining the faster line,
and I'm gonna get my sneakers
way before you.
Later, losers!
Suck my mound!
‐ I always knew you were the smart one.
Stick with me. Okay?
Jesse?
‐ Hello? Are you doing that scary
teenage girl silent treatment thing again?
I told you that freaks me out.
Stop it!
‐ Look at the back of that guy's head.
Purrrr.
‐ That guy? Ugh. He looks like
a melting stick of butter.
‐ His hair is riding that nape.
He has a cowlick
and a wallet chain? Mama like.
‐ Oh boy, here we go.
Every time we're in line, Jesse falls
in love with the back of some guy's head.
‐ Nah‐uh. I'm just thinking about what
the back of those arms would look like
outside the back of that shirt.
‐ Keep it in your dress, Jesse.
[groans]
♪
[bones cracking]
[snores]
[groaning]
‐ Would you stop fidgeting?
I'm in the zone, and you're messing me up.
To really focus, I count the number
of Kardashians over and over,
and you're making me get tripped up
after the obese brother.
‐ Alright, fuck this, if we have
to stand here, I'm doing something.
‐ Oh yeah, like what?
‐ I'm gonna use that ray
that turns everyone into cigarettes,
and then we'll just walk
over everyone.
‐ No!
ASTRONAUT:
Oh fuck!
Houston, the Space Station turned
into cigarettes!
‐ Just like the fortune cookie
said it would!
[both screaming]
‐ Korvo, stop that.
Turning them into anything
would ruin it.
The point of the line is
to be in the line.
‐ But the ray‐‐
‐ No rays, no sci‐fi of any kind.
Just be present in the moment.
‐ Whatever.
I was just trying
to do a hobby you love,
but you really love
stupid stuff that sucks,
so I'm‐I'm‐I'm going to take off.
‐ See if I care. Not everyone has
what it takes to line.
‐ Plus, we have a couple
of Howlin' Rays rays back on the ship.
I'll just shoot some carbon
into a delicious chicken sandwich.
‐ Linus! Wassup, my dawg?
I was hoping I'd see you standing around.
‐ Ter‐bear! The Ter‐inator!
T‐T‐T‐Terry and the Jets!
‐ Oh. Uh‐‐
[Linus grunts]
‐ What the F‐U‐C‐K?
Did you just give that guy
a little smooch?
‐ It's my thing now,
don't hang a light on it.
‐ Thanks for holding my place, Marv.
Hired a hold‐my‐place‐stander
so I wouldn't miss
a good spot next to T‐dog.
He's kinda my line husband.
‐ Oh well, I'm sure you've heard
all about me then.
Korvo. I'm Terry's actual husband
slash unmarried team leader.
‐ Korvo, Kor, Korv‐‐ hmm?
No, he's never mentioned you.
‐ Yes, I have, remember?
I hate the way his eyes
cartoonishly bulge out when he's angry?
‐ They do not!
‐ There they are.
‐ No, I would've remembered.
Terry and I go way back.
I guess we started to fall
in line together
when we were waiting to get
Mr. Wonderful's new set of sponges.
That was a day!
[both laugh]
Remember, remember, remember.
‐ Oh my god!
‐ With the sponges.
‐ Korvo was actually
just about to take off.
He's not really a line guy.
‐ No, I wasn't actually
about to take off.
This line is just getting good!
‐ Really?
‐ Yes. I look forward
to continuing to stand here
with my teammate
slash work husband in crime
slash life Terry
and this person named Lameus.
‐ It's Linus with an "N."
‐ Oh, what did I say?
‐ Oh‐kay, well, uh,
welcome, compadre!
I only brought two bags
of DayQuil Blast Cheez‐Its though,
so you'll have to share.
They're Terry's favorite.
‐ Oooh! Now with extra 'quil?
Goodbye, thoughts.
‐ I thought Terry was
a Mai Tai Goldfish man.
‐ That was so 2019.
But who can keep track?
Terry is always yammering on
about snack foods.
‐ You know me, I'm always "Bugles this"
and "Twizzlers that."
Such a yambone!
[both laugh]
Oh god.
‐ Hah, I knew it! It's always better
to switch to the fastest line.
Wow. Okay, we're running now.
My line rules!
Fuck you, Terry!
[panting]
‐ Man, we've been
in some crazy lines together.
Remember when we pretended
we lost our drivers' licenses
just to hit up the DMV?
‐ It took forever.
God, it's hard to find
a great line these days.
You know, I wish
we could go back in time
and stand in some
bread lines together, Terry.
I would go through
a Great Depression in a second
just to be poor and facing
the same direction on the street with you.
‐ I say that all the time!
‐ I once waited in a line
at the grocery store.
I had too many items
for the express checkout.
So then I had to stand
in another line.
‐ Wow, great story.
‐ Hey now,
we all gotta start somewhere.
‐ Thank you, Linus.
You aren't the only ones
who've stood in line before, Terry.
‐ Remember when we were in line
for the Broadway adaptation of Tenet?
And that homeless guy threw
a bag of shit at you?
Remember we watched him shit
into the bag and we were like,
"I wonder who's gonna get that bag?"
And it was you!
‐ Oh yeah, I think I have photos
of it on my phone.
‐ Hey, what do you think
of this Linus guy?
Jesse?
Are you still all hot
and bothered by Neck Douche?
‐ I can't help it.
I can just picture our life together.
I can't believe you won
this giant bear for me.
‐ It's almost as cute as you are.
‐ Ooh, can I have some
of that cotton candy?
‐ But you're already
the sweetest girl in the world.
‐ Swoon.
‐ Let's ride the Ferris wheel
and dry hump at the top
until it breaks
and we have to get rescued.
‐ Yes, please.
‐ But there's something
I have to ask you first.
Jessica Opposites,
I've loved you
since the moment you saw
the back of my head in line.
You are beautiful. You are smart.
You know how to rock
the fuck out of a polka dot.
Would you do me the honor
of marrying me?
‐ You had me
at Jessica Opposites!
[both moaning]
[Jesse moaning]
[rumbling]
‐ Oh look,
the Pupa's a giant or something!
Ugh, I wish I could see
more than just the top of his head.
[Godzilla screeching]
Oh, shit, is that
a fucking Godzilla too?
I wonder if that's the same Godzilla
that came to town
on a book tour last year.
[thudding, rumbling]
Oh my god, did you hear that?
I think the Pupa is in an epic battle
with a Godzilla.
I bet they're stomping on cars
and pushing over skyscrapers and shit.
We could be doing that!
Terry, can we please just go see
what's happening for a minute?
‐ You can go, Korvo,
but you'll lose your spot.
‐ Ugh, I hate not being in line.
Might as well cut my dick off,
you know?
‐ Right?
‐ Ugh, fine. I'll stay.
‐ I'm loving this hat, T‐rex.
‐ Oh, come on, it's nothing
compared to yours.
‐ Well, here's a little trick
of the trade, you dumb bitch.
You gotta get a cap
that covers your neck.
And that also helps collect
your neck sweat.
It's pretty cool, huh?
‐ Oh. Such a good call.
My cap only covers the top of my head
like a total loser.
‐ You're not a loser, Terry.
You're the coolest guy I know.
‐ Yes. You're also
the coolest guy I know.
‐ You told me yesterday
I should die in a fire.
‐ I‐I was joking.
[stomach rumbles]
‐ Oof, all those hot coins
I swallowed for breakfast
are not sitting right.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
‐ Why? We don't have buttholes.
‐ Yeah, I just sit on the seat
and calm down.
Plus it lets me chew my gum.
The way I chew gum is so disgusting
that I can't do it in front of people.
‐ Fine, I'll save your spot
in line while you go.
[both laughing]
Who are we laughing at?
Did I accidentally quote
a TokTik again?
‐ No. It's just, "Save your spot"
is what a line virgin would say.
‐ You're green, so let me explain.
On the professional line circuit,
what Terry needs
is called a "line check."
And if you're cool like me,
you say it
like a quarterback making an audible:
"Line Check! Omaha.
Hut hut, green 8!"
‐ See, I say "line check"
and the other pros will honor it
because we adhere to
an ancient and noble code.
‐ If you don't line check,
you lose your spot,
but worse, your dignity.
‐ Damn, all these arbitrary rules
are hard to keep track of.
‐ Isn't it great?
[yelling] Line check!
‐ Hey, have fun, Tery‐dactyl.
‐ Thanks for the heads up
on that "line check" thing. Oh!
‐ You listen to me,
you worthless little blue bitch.
Terry is mine, this line is mine,
you are a piece of aardvark shit.
‐ Linus, your behavior is completely
different from a moment ago.
Were you bitten
by some kind of spider?
‐ I've stood in hundreds
of lines with Terry,
and I'm not gonna let you slime in here
and ruin what we have.
So fuck all the way off!
‐ Wait, wait,
you're being two‐faced!
I've heard humans do that,
but I've never seen it in real life.
Fascinating.
‐ Leave now or pay the price.
Don't say I didn't warn you,
fuckhead.
Uh‐oh! Speak of the devil.
Welcome back, Terry‐cloth!
‐ Terry! You'll never guess
what happened.
Linus was completely different
when you left.
He was‐‐ he was very mean
and said lots of insults.
‐ But before I left,
he was super nice.
‐ I know!
Linus, show Terry your other face.
Get‐get all mean
and nasty like you did.
‐ Not sure what
you're talking about, Korvo.
I don't think we spoke a word
when Terry was gone.
You stared at the ground
like a real, um,
like, uh, you're so dumb.
‐ Korvo, you don't have
to make stuff up.
‐ Why would I ever do that?
‐ Maybe you're just a little jealous
of my relationship with Linus.
‐ I have a robe and sweet‐ass crystal
that can make me levitate.
I'll never be jealous of some nerd
who jerks off to lines.
‐ You're embarrassing me.
‐ Hey, remember
when we waited in that line
to get into the first‐ever Jimmy Buffett
Buffet and Urgent Care center
and I almost coded out because I ate
all that shrimp that I'm allergic to?
‐ Oh my god,
so many fat fatties!
[both laugh]
[Jesse moaning]
[Yumyulack panting]
‐ [laughs] This line is unstoppable!
Oh shit, a lake? Oh my god,
oh, we're getting in the water?
Ha, that's genius!
We're going so much faster
than those idiots standing on the street!
[panting]
Hell yeah!
Let's steal these bikes! Sick!
[laughing]
[ringing bike bell]
‐ Come on, Korvo,
do squats with us.
We gotta work out our muscles
to keep them from atrophying.
‐ He wouldn't understand.
Look at his tiny legs.
They're like little matchsticks,
except they'll never be lit.
‐ See, that's that two‐faced shit
right there.
‐ It's called word play,
Mr. Sensitive.
[phone buzzing]
‐ Ooh, I gotta take this.
It's my best friend Jeff.
Terry, you would love him.
We met in a wedding line
for the valet.
‐ Okay, what the fuck is the dealio
with you and Linus?
‐ What, Korvo?
He's my line husband.
You know, like how I have Gerard,
my spin class husband,
and Billy Jr.,
my Sunday afternoon Costco husband.
God, why do you care so much?
‐ I don't, okay. It's just,
he touches your waist a lot.
‐ Oh, it's just how we keep
each other steady in line.
‐ Did you see that alien creature
do ancient martial arts on that Godzilla?
‐ I think he's also going to have
to fight that giant robot
that just came into town.
‐ What? Pupa is fighting
a giant lizard and a robot!
That sounds awesome!
I‐I wish I could see better.
Dammit! This is so frustrating.
I can't see the robot.
I bet it does all sorts
of cool stuff like Chappie!
How does this not frustrate you?
‐ I don't know, 'cause I'm smart?
‐ [laughing] Alright, alright, bye‐bye.
Jeff wanted some tips on smoking
a fuckin' rad pork shoulder.
I consider myself
a grill master of sorts.
What'd I miss?
‐ Hold it!
Linus, you can't get back in line.
‐ [mocking] You can't get back in line.
What are you talking about?
I'm the king of this line.
‐ You didn't call line check.
TERRY: Oh!
‐ I didn't "leave,"
I stepped, like, five feet away.
‐ Well, guess what,
that's called leaving.
How do you like
those wordplay apples?
‐ Oh no, I'm sorry,
Linus, but he's right.
Calling line check is just
a part of the rules,
and without rules,
a line is just people standing around.
You know who said that? Gandhi.
I think. Or Kyle Von Titsenburg.
‐ Either way,
you're outtie‐200, Linus.
You might want to find
an easier line to stand in,
maybe at the park
for the baby swings?
‐ You shut your fuckin' mouth!
You're a line loser.
You should never be allowed
to stand next to a pro like me.
‐ There it is!
Th‐th‐there's the other face!
‐ Whoa, he really
does have two faces.
I thought that was just on TV!
‐ Right?
‐ I hope you both get gonorrhea
and go to hell
and there's no line to get in.
‐ Come on, Linus,
don't be like this.
After all the waiting
we've done together?
‐ You know what?
I'm starting a better line.
‐ You can't do that.
That's against all the ancient codes.
‐ Fuck the codes. I'm Linus.
Line is in my name!
‐ Gasp!
‐ Hey, everyone!
WOMAN: Whoa, is that Linus?
‐ Linus!
‐ He won the Standee
three years in a row.
‐ I see a lot of familiar faces in line.
If you're a pro and not a loser
with blue or green skin
and no butthole,
then follow me
to a better way to stand,
right over here.
‐ We better follow.
‐ Linus knows what he's doing.
‐ Nobody fucks with Linus.
‐ But, but... Come on, guys!
The‐the code!
‐ Korvo, you ruined
the greatest line of my lifetime.
‐ It wasn't my fault. Linus‐‐
‐ Ah, I can't even talk
to you right now.
You wanted to share
one of my hobbies with me,
and you literally made it
my nightmare.
‐ Derr!
‐ Ugh, son of a bitch!
‐ Wow, business is exhausting.
‐ Whoa, babe,
you look like a million bucks.
I mean, you look like
you make a million bucks
being a kickass businesswoman.
‐ I am.
The markets went wild today.
You know how it is,
ups and downs.
Stocks and bonds.
Charts and pies.
‐ I made a veal parmesan
without the veal.
Your fave.
Why don't you kick off those heels
and enjoy a nice meal.
‐ This looks amazing.
[bottle shatters]
But the only thing
I want for dinner is
your hair‐mouth
on my mouth‐mouth, mister.
[both moaning]
‐ I cannot believe
after 10 years of marriage,
we still have so much passion.
‐ Now flip me over like you flipped
that not veal parmesan.
Fingerling me like
your potatoes.
Gravy me!
‐ I love it when you mix food and sex.
Just like my hero Ina Garten.
‐ Wait, what are you looking at?
[woman whispers]
[man chuckles]
‐ That hussy!
No one steals my man!
How could you?
After all our years of marriage!
After I work all day
to pay for your sailboat.
‐ Babe, she's just a friend.
‐ I can't believe this.
The one thing we promised each other
was that we would never cheat.
‐ You're being crazy.
‐ He's playing you, ho.
He totally fingers me on the reg.
‐ I knew it!
‐ She's lying. Don't listen to her.
‐ I can't live like this anymore.
We're through.
I want a divorce.
‐ Terry, t‐talk to me.
‐ You ruined a cat five line.
That's like interrupting the path
of a really strong hurricane.
Who would stop an awesome,
powerful hurricane?
‐ Probably Storm the X‐Men,
because she can control the weather
and it would prevent
a lot of property damage.
‐ Now you're rubbing it in my face
that you're smarter than me.
Great. Keep the hits coming.
‐ Sorry about Linus.
I‐I thought I was respecting line rules,
like you taught me.
‐ I guess I am pretty proud
of you for using the rules.
‐ I'm very good at rules.
‐ Man, I cannot believe
Linus created a new line.
That's like the worst thing
you can do.
Honestly, we should just leave
and go home.
‐ Why? We‐we've been here for hours.
I'm just starting to like the feeling
of hard sidewalk beneath my feet.
‐ Yeah, but we're fucked.
There are now two
legitimate‐looking lines.
So when employees start letting people in,
they won't know which line is real.
The new line is all pros.
Look at the way they stand.
KORVO:
They are standing pretty excellently.
‐ Their posture is impeccable!
We got stuck with a bunch of slouchers.
The store is going to choose
that line for sure.
‐ Terry, look at me.
This is hard for me to say, because
you know I don't like to compliment.
You're almost always lazy and annoying.
‐ Continue.
‐ But you're the best line stander
I've ever seen.
You make it look so easy.
You could stand here for hours
just staring straight ahead,
and you'd have
the time of your life.
‐ That's called being
in the zone, baby!
‐ Remember what you loved
about lines in the first place.
Think back, before all the gear,
magazines,
and lifestyle of lines took over.
‐ Yeah, I just loved
how peaceful it was.
‐ Exactly. You don't need Linus
or any of those pros.
The line isn't out here,
it's inside you.
Has been all along.
‐ You're right, goddammit.
I can do this.
Hey, Linus, you little nose picker.
It's on like ping pong!
You're going down like a clown
with a frown
who's about to get shot!
♪ '80s synth music ♪
♪
‐ What're you‐‐
what're you doing?
‐ I don't need any of this.
I'm going back to the basics.
Back to who I was
when I first fell in love with lines.
‐ [laughs] What a sucker.
Who would ever pick your line?
‐ Terry Opposites would.
And now... we dance.
Metaphorically. Because otherwise
we'd lose our place in line.
‐ Duh!
‐ Aw, hell yeah!
Mud crawling!
This line is playing.
Ow. Ow.
Paintballs?
Ha. I feel like‐‐ ah, ah, ah‐‐
I'm in the military video games I play
so I can bully‐‐ ow‐‐
humans in their 30s.
[panting]
[air horn blares]
‐ Congratulations,
you completed
a Tough Fadder Run.
It's a more violent,
millennial version of a marathon.
‐ So the line is over?
‐ Good work completing
the course today, son.
‐ Oh my god.
All day, I thought I was
in a line but really,
I was in the best line ever!
‐ It wasn't a line!
JESSE:
[gasps] Wait a minute,
she was just asking
if he had a tampon.
And he carries tampons
with him to be helpful.
Oh, he's such a great guy!
I'm so sorry,
I never should've doubted you.
I love you.
I'll love you forever!
‐ Jesse, I would never betray you.
I just like to have
some super‐size tampons on me
at all times for emergencies.
‐ Let's adopt up to 28 rescue dogs
and call each other "babe" forever.
[moaning]
Yes, I love you. Mmm.
No, I love you more. Mmm.
Fine, you do love me more.
[gasps]
A Microsoft Zune face tattoo?
Did he do that for a contest?
Ugh, I'm out!
[glass shatters]
[rumbling, Pupa screeching]
‐ Oh look, it's the Pupa,
Godzilla, and the Giant Robot.
But‐but they're not fighting anymore?
Are‐are they kissing?
What the hell is the story
over there?
‐ Dude, this giant robot
was just handing out PS5s over there.
I got, like, 10.
‐ Hey! Get back here and tell me
how that makes sense!
What's happening over there
with the Pupa?
‐ Oh man, I wish
I could get a PS5.
‐ Who is giving out PS5s?
‐ We gotta stay strong
and defeat Linus.
‐ Of all the days not to be able
to leave a particular area‐‐
TERRY:
They're opening the store! This is it!
Oh, I'm so nervous!
Which line do you think they'll pick?
How's my standing looking?
I'm engaging my core
and doing a Kegel.
‐ You hot as hell.
‐ Why does Linus look so sure?
Wait a hot minute.
What does he know?
[gasps] That's the guy
who called Linus.
He has an inside man!
What a cheating... fuck!
‐ If he's gonna cheat,
we're gonna cheat too.
I'm using sci‐fi.
‐ Korvo, no. I need to get back
to line basics.
No gear, no tricks, no sci‐fi.
If I'm going to lose, at least
I'll lose it the old‐fashioned way.
‐ Terry, you're really showing
a lot of growth here.
I'm proud of you for doing
the right thing.
‐ Time for the ultimate focus
and to get into the zone.
Become one with the line force.
‐ You've got this. Just close your eyes
and think about winning this line.
[laser pulsing]
[standers grunting]
‐ Wait a minute,
they're letting our line in.
I'm winning without cheating!
I beat his ass to hell with honor!
‐ Indeed you did.
‐ I did it! I can't believe it!
I love being honorable.
I'm gonna have integrity forever.
‐ That's the Terry I've never known!
[grunting]
‐ I'm gonna get you fuckers back
for this someday!
Oh and‐‐ Oh, and Terry?
You and me? We're done!
Get yourself a line divorce lawyer
'cause I am headed to the path
of a line separation
that is definitely leading
to a costly line divorce.
‐ Ohh. You can really taste
the Supreme branding.
‐ Ugh. The flavor
of being too cool for me.
‐ Ooh, I love a new iPhone.
Paying for a new one every year
really makes me... feel‐‐
oh shit.
‐ Oh my god. These sneakers.
Oh yeah,
my feet are gonna cum.
Ohh!
[sighs]
Terry, I get it now.
Lines are a metaphor
for the human experience.
It's not about the destination,
it's about the journey.
Because you have to truly believe
in yourself to believe in your line.
‐ Meh, I just like being
the first person with new stuff.
‐ Goddammit, Terry,
that's so stupid!
Why do you like such dumb shit?
‐ I hate to see his face,
but I love to watch
that neck walk away.
‐ [panting]
I was in the coolest line ever.
I got this t‐shirt
and this medal that says,
"I finally bested
my Tough Fadder."
‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm the t‐shirt guy. Hand it over.
‐ I could be the fucking t‐shirt guy
if you ever let me keep one.
‐ Hello, Terry. This is
my new line husband, James.
We're going to wait
for the midnight release
of the new Dan Brown novel together.
It's about how Noah solved murders
at night on his ark.
Ha ha. Two at a time!
‐ Eat shit and die, Linus.
I got all the husband
I need right here.
[burps]
‐ Pupa, there you are.
W‐w‐what happened?
‐ Horseradish!
‐ What?
Jesus, his receptive language is great,
but we really need to work
on his expressive.
‐ Glad somebody said it.
‐ We better not be fucking sitting here
at the beginning of the next episode.
I expect us to be
in a whole other place.
‐ Actually, I think it's kinda‐‐
‐ No, shut the fuck up.
No more connecting episodes
or any of that other streaming bullshit.
If this sentence connects
to the next episode,
I'm going to be really, really‐‐
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
♪
[mimicking laser fire]