Sliders (1995–2000): Season 3, Episode 9 - The Prince of Slides - full transcript

♪ ♪

We have three days
till the next slide.

I wish it was longer

so I could explore this world
where America is a monarchy.

Everything is so pretty,
and the people
are so gracious.

It's like being in
a romantic movie.

Dr. Daley, Dr. William Daley,
please call radiology.

Dr. Daley,
please call radiology.

I haven't seen you
writing in your diary
in a long time.

That's because
I usually do it
when you guys are asleep.

That way you
don't get all paranoid
about what I write.



I'm not paranoid.

I don't care what
you write in there about me.

Let's go.

Sixpence for
a piece of candy.

I don't have a pence,
let alone six.

Hey, how's the Professor?

He'll live.

He's still pretty upset about
sliding into a bee colony.

Or, in his case,
on a bee colony.

I wish we had a video camera.

Both of his hands
on his behind,

running around chanting,
"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Think he'll get
the Purple Heart for this?

I think he'll get
a purple something.



Oh, God!

Remmy!

Danielle?

My apologies, Your Grace.

How did you get...

Thank God you're here,
Your Grace.

What's wrong with her?

It's the baby.

She went into crisis
earlier than expected.

I told you, Lady Mary,
he would be here for me.

If you'll follow me,
Your Grace.

You'll be prepped
in the adjacent room.

Your Grace?

Prepped for what?

Blood transfusion.

How do you know you two
are even the same blood type?

We were on our world.
Look, it's okay.

Danielle and I
have been
through this before.

Excuse me,
how long is this transfusion
gonna take?

What transfusion?

They're transferring the baby
into him.

What if you found a portal
to a parallel universe?

What if you could slide into
a thousand different worlds,

where it's the same year,
and you're the same person

but everything else
is different?

And what if you
can't find your way home?

Sliders.

We interrupt
with this late-breaking news.

The Duchess of Hemmingshire,

cousin of
our late Queen Sally,

has suffered an early crisis.

Her husband, the Duke,
arrived just in time

to take on gestation
and complete the pregnancy.

A few moments ago,

Deputy Master of the Royal
Household, George Stellos,

addressed rumors
concerning the Duke's

recent disappearance
from the public eye.

Please, folks,
you'll get your chance.

Okay, one question at a time.

Just let me make
my statement first.

Royal Security
knew where
the Duke was at all times,

but at his request,
we kept his
whereabouts private.

There was never any doubt
that he would be available

when the transfer
was necessary.

Professor, you are
not going to believe...

I already know.

We are apparently alive
and at the scene.

We have got to
get him out of there
before it's too late.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Announcing that an impostor

has so far
penetrated the Royal Circle

is hardly going
to get Rembrandt

out of that situation,
or ourselves.

This needs
a little bit of subtlety.

It's an awful lot of fuss
over a little transfuse...

Transfuse...

Transfer, Your Grace.

That's just
the sedative doing its job.

Now, we'll be
starting in a moment.

Hey, Q-Ball!
How you doing?

Shh!

I'm so glad I met you, man.

This is the best slide ever.

We've got to get
you out of here.

There's been a mix-up
between you and your double.

Really? You sure?

Didn't you think
something was up

when they started
calling you "Your Grace"?

Your Grace. Crying Man.
Whatever.

I mean,
who cares what they call me,

as long as
I've got my Danielle.

Rembrandt? Rembrandt?

Remmy! Stay with me, man.

Your Grace? Wake up!

Thank you, orderly,
but I'll see to
the Duke myself.

You can fetch a backup dose
of hormone meds

from the supply cabinet.

Who are you?

You don't seem to understand.

No,
you don't seem to understand.

Let him go, George.

Please, Aunt Mary,
stay out of this.

He's a friend of the Duke's.
I saw them speaking.

We are the Duke's new
personal assistants.

Since when?
The Duke barely tolerates

the mandatory attendants
I impose on him.

Since the Duke phoned me at
Buckingham Palace

and asked me to put together
a team of professionals

to look after him
during his pregnancy.

You have experience with
Buckingham's royal staff?

Sir,
I have trained so many people
at Buckingham Palace,

I'm known there
as the Professor.
This is Miss Wells

the Duke's
personal nutritionist.

And over there,

with his face
squashed against that door
like a bug on a windscreen,

is the Duke's
fitness trainer.

Well, if he's
the Duke's fitness trainer,

then what was he doing
in Pre-Op?

You blistering idiot!

The Duke is
about to have a baby!

Are you
suggesting that fitness
does not come into question?

Now, I suggest you
release him at once,
before the Duke finds out.

Are we all clear?

For the time being.

Good.

Excuse me.
That's a beautiful pin.

I-Is it antique?

Yes. It was a gift
from a former admirer.

Well, I just wanted to say,
thanks for
standing up for us.

The transfer is complete.

Father and son-to-be
are resting comfortably.

When they moved Remmy
back to the Royal Mansion,

there were telegrams
from all over the world

wishing him well
with his pregnancy.

Wow! I can't believe
I just wrote those words.

Even though Remmy's double
could never be king

because he's a commoner,

it turns out his baby
is fourth in line
for the throne.

I can't get my head
around this.

I think it's great.

It's about time
men got to share in the joy

and the burden
of childbearing.

Oh, I expect men
get very excited
about sharing the joy

of nausea, heartburn,
and stretch marks.

He's coming out of it.

Hey, Remmy? Remmy, buddy?
Welcome back, man.

A lot has gone on

since you faded out on me
back at the hospital.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is a remarkable world,
Mr. Brown.

A couple of decades ago,
a--a viral epidemic

destroyed the capacity
of the female population

to carry a child beyond
the, uh, second trimester.

However, scientists
were able to save humankind

by the invention
of shared pregnancy.

Yeah, they--they--they
created an artificial womb

so the fathers can
carry the baby to term.

See, the thing is,
they mistook you
for your double

and, uh, before we
could stop them...

What the...

And--And...
Now, take it easy.

You just went
through major surgery.

Yes, but the good thing is,
with their
advanced technology

you'll be up and about
in no time.

Please tell me this
isn't what I think it is.

I'm afraid it is, Mr. Brown.

But here's the good news.

You're going to bear royalty.

I'm pregnant?

I'm not even married!

The father is
your missing double.

Remmy, if you hadn't
shown up when you did,

that little guy
would have died.

Now, Rembrandt,

back at the hospital
you mentioned something about

you and Danielle
having been through

something like this
before on our world.

Look, guys. I don't
want to talk about it.

Fair enough.

But we do have
to discuss timing.

Apparently,
once the male takes over,

the gestation
proceeds rapidly.

You'll be ready to deliver
within a week, but...

But, what?

We slide before that.

So, somehow we've
got to find your double

and get this baby into him.

Otherwise you're stuck here
until you give birth.

Are visiting hours over yet?

You people are depressing me.

May I come in?

Of course, Your Grace.

I can't believe it's you.

Look, are you okay?

Yes, I am,
now that we're together.

May we have some privacy?

Yes, of course.

Try not to over-excite him.

How is it the Duke lives?

I don't know.

I saw him
disappear into the ocean.

He never surfaced.

Obviously, he did.

I trusted you,
and you failed me.

My nephew and I have too much
invested in this

to allow these
kinds of mistakes.

It won't happen again.

That's right. It won't.

I thought morning sickness

was only supposed to
happen in the morning.

You're lucky.

Mine lasted two months.

I think it's stopping.

You are so beautiful.

When Lady Mary
told me you'd left,

I thought I'd die.

And then crisis came early.

Rem, I know
we've had our
share of problems,

but please,

can we try again?

Any news of
the Duke's whereabouts?

Nothing.

All I could find out is
that he had trouble living
in the royal spotlight,

and he and the Duchess
had some pretty
big fights about it.

Well, I found a maid
who said that Lady Mary
started a rumor

that the Duke was
cheating on his wife.

Hmm. How can we be sure
that it was just a rumor?

We can't,
except the maid said
it just couldn't be true.

And according to her,
Remmy's double
is crazy about Danielle.

I guess some things
are constant on every world.

Whoa, what's going on?

Hello?
Anybody remember knock-knock?

Forgive me, Your Grace,
but I have grave news.

Arson is suspected in
the fire this morning

at the Royal Palace
at Monticello.

Authorities report that they
received a phone call

from the American
Revolutionary Party,
claiming responsibility.

From Monticello, Virginia.

The news flash,
apparently official:

King Thomas and his two sons,
Benjamin and Tyler,

died in a house fire
at 2:00 a.m.,
Eastern Standard Time.

11:00 p.m.,
Pacific Standard Time,
some 38 minutes ago.

This means the next
in line for the throne
is the unborn male child

of Rembrandt Brown,
Duke of Hemmingshire.

The king.

I have spoken with
the Captain of the Guards.

He returns tonight
from Monticello.

I hope you told him
how pleased I was
with his work.

Indeed.

He extends his deep gratitude
for your kind words

and prays that his efforts
will be rewarded
in the future.

Assure him that
my nephew and I
will remember our friends.

All of them.

Milady.

Lady Mary.
May I have a word?

Of course.

Well, obviously,
I am completely familiar

with protocol at
the court of St. James,

but I am a newcomer here
at this court.

How may I assist you?

I've seen nothing regarding

the royal funeral arrangements
at Monticello.

Now, obviously, the Duke
will not be able to travel

in his present condition.

The Duke's sole
responsibility now

is to protect
the future king.

I agree with you.

Will you be
representing His Grace?

Certainly not.

My place is with the Duchess,
as it has been
since her birth.

That long? Impossible.

Longer.

I was just a girl when
I first came to court.

Barely 17.

I was appointed
to my present post
by King Thomas himself.

I realize His Majesty's
tragic death must be
very painful for you.

I can hear his heartbeat.

Pretty cool, huh?

Hey, Q-Ball.
- Hey.

Any word on my double?

None of the staff I spoke to
knows a thing.

And if we don't
find the Duke soon,

you are going to
miss this slide.

He's probably off
hiding somewhere,
sweating bullets.

Royalty has got to
be a lot to take.

Remember all those
royal scandals on our world?

Your Grace.

I just had
an interesting conversation
with your driver.

You know, the one
that you swore to secrecy

about that clandestine trip
to a place called Camp Muir?

He told me to give you this.

He said you dropped it
in the Mercedes.

You know, I've been thinking.

Maybe we shouldn't rush out
and get this guy.

Maybe I should
tell Danielle the truth.

Excuse me,

does the word "beheading"
mean anything to you?

Look, this little fellow
is gonna be the next king.

And maybe my double
isn't into
handling responsibility.

I mean, what kind of father
would he make?

Oh, I can't believe
I got to go again!

Oh!

Got to go, got to go.

He's not thinking clearly.

Well, I guess
pregnancy does that to a man.

All right, we have
got to locate this duke.

Why don't you stay with Remmy
and make sure he doesn't...

...lose his head?

George,
with the royal family gone,

who will rule
until my son is of age?

As His Majesty's deputy,
I hold the official power

during this
transitional period.

Once the child is born,

I will step aside
to Duke Rembrandt
who will rule as regent

until your son is old enough
to assume his
royal responsibilities.

My husband, a regent.

I pray his new
responsibilities

do not cause him
to flee again.

Don't worry, Your Grace.

I'm sure once
the Duke sees his son,

he will never want
to leave his side.

♪ Hush, hush

♪ Go on and dream

♪ Daddy is always near

♪ By the window

♪ By the window

♪ By the window

♪ Hush, hush

♪ Safely inside

♪ Calm as the sea you

♪ Drift in, shifting

♪ Hush, hush

♪ Go on and dream

♪ Daddy is always near

Looks pretty deserted.

Shouldn't there be
guards or something?

You think this is it?

This has to be Camp Muir.

The whole area is marked
"Property of the Crown."

On our world
it would be
loaded with tourists.

Here we go.

Your Grace?

Anybody home?

Maybe he went for
a walk in the woods.

Why don't you
check around back?

Hello!

Hello!

Your Grace!

Anybody here?

Anybody home?

Your Grace,
we are friends of Danielle.

Really?

How is it I've
never seen you before?

Well, it's a-- It's--It's
kind of a long story,

but if you
just put the sword down--

Now you better believe us.

Maybe.

Look, two days ago
I was knocked
out from behind.

When I came to,

he was pushing me
over the side of a boat,

100 yards out to sea.

Luckily, I'm a good swimmer.

Luck seems to
run in your family.

Wait a minute.
Did you say that
Danielle sent you?

Why?
Are she and the baby okay?

We can discuss it
on the way back.

The sooner we get you back,
the safer your baby
and your wife will be.

I wonder if you'd be so kind
as to change
the pillows on my bed?

I am, uh,
sensitive to goose down,

and I far prefer eider down.

Thank you so much.
That looks delicious.

You're welcome,
Your Highness.

I think the baby is
as hungry as I am.

You do realize
that you didn't
tell her thank you.

Poor woman is
busting her butt for you

and you can't even tell her
how much you appreciate it.

And if you light
that smokestack up
around my baby,

I'm gonna roll over there
and shove it
down your throat.

Mr. Brown, let me tell you
about royal servants.

Most are born into service
or bred into service.

Uh, they love to serve.

They live to serve.

And they expect
their superiors

to behave in
a superior manner,

or they get very upset.

You know,
you are full of British bull!

Excuse me,
may I have a moment
with my husband, Professor?

Yes, of course.

Let's go for
a little walk, shall we?

Sure.

Hey, hey, hey!
What's up?

Will you excuse us?

Yes, ma'am.

I heard you
singing to the baby
in the garden earlier.

Yeah, yeah, I was working
on a little song for him.

Is everything okay,
sweetheart?

To begin with,
I'm not your sweetheart.

My husband never
sang a day in his life.

He's tone deaf.

Apparently you,
whoever you are, are not.

I demand to know
exactly who you are.

Okay,
there's no need to get upset.

Really! My baby is--

Please.

Just let me explain.

I promise you, your baby
is as safe with me

as he would be
with your husband.

I swear it.

Just let me explain
before you go
calling the guards.

Please.

I cannot believe it.
My son is king.

Do they know who is behind
the assassinations?

The rebels are taking credit.

Let me ask you a question.

What kind of a guy
leaves his wife
while she's pregnant?

I did not leave her.

We fought.
I needed some time
to cool off, okay?

What's the matter,
you never fought
with anyone you love?

Yeah, but I stuck around
and worked it out.

Oh, yeah?
So where's your wedding ring?

Wait a minute.

If they had to take the baby
from Danielle early,

who did they
transfer him into?

Do you really expect me
to believe that insane story?

It's pure science fiction.

I know it sounds like that,
but please hear me out.

You see, on my world,

you and I were
living together.

We'd had a big fight.

You took the car,

and you wanted to
show me how it felt

when I would walk out on you.

I should have
never let you go.

You couldn't even
see through your tears.

After the accident,

I had this boneheaded idea
that we could
still make it right.

After you became well,
you didn't even
want to look at me.

I thought, with time,

I would get over you.

But I haven't.

That's odd.

How is it this
never happened to me,

yet I feel

as if it had?

Look, Danielle,
I just want you to know

if your husband
doesn't come back,

you have me

if you want me.

Where is my husband?

My friends are
out looking for him.

This has been
quite a day for me.

We'll talk more
in the morning.

Good night,

Mr. Brown.

Watch your step.

What are we doing?

Well, we can't just walk
up to the front door,

unless you want
your friend beheaded.

There's a secret passageway
I used to use

when I was courting Danielle.

A secret passageway?
- Yes.

Cool.

I love royalty.

What the devil...

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Did you see him?

No. A pillow over my face.

Hold that.

Stop!

What the devil is going on?

Got kicked in the stomach.

You okay?

Yeah, but it's a good thing
I'm not six inches taller.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay, baby.

What happened?

There was an attempt made
on the Duke's life

and, by extension,
that of the unborn king.

I am the Duke.

Rembrandt?
Is that really you?

Yes.

Well, now.

Seems I owe you
a great debt of gratitude.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

It's a lot to comprehend,
but you've got to help us.

We must transfer the baby
from this Rembrandt
to the Duke,

and it must be
done in secret.

We're still in danger.

The guards.

We'll stall them.

Will you help us?

You know I'd do
anything for you, my dear.

We heard noise.
What's going on?

Uh, nothing. It's nothing.

I--I--I wouldn't go in there
if I were you.

The--The--The Duke
and the Duchess

are having
a--a domestic dispute.

I-It's about his infidelity.

I'm--I'm--I'm sure
you've heard the rumors.

She's, uh,
throwing things again?

Oh, yeah. Big things.

Yeah.

All right. We'll be
down at the base of the stairs

if anyone needs anything.

Thank you.

Infidelity. Good one.

Hello.

Be nice if they
left a note or something.

What is this?

It's a pin.

Wait a minute.
I recognize this.

It's Lady Mary's.

I'm still not sure
about this, Professor.

Look, security at the palace
has obviously
been compromised.

If this place is as remote
as Lady Mary says it is,

we're safe here
until we can transfer the baby

into that of its
rightful father.

Oh, I can't believe
I got to go again.

The cabin is right here.

Don't worry, milady.

What needs to be done
will be done.

Hoping for a safe?

Hoping for something.

I've run out of places
where you can hide
things in this room.

Since I'm still not sure
exactly what
you're looking for,

it doesn't sound like
much of a roadblock.

The pin is not enough
to prove that Lady Mary
is trying to kill the Duke.

She'll just say she lost it,

or it was stolen,
or something.

If she is in
with the rebels,

there's got to be
something in here
that will prove it.

Well, I hope so.

Otherwise you're creating
a big mess for the maid
for nothing.

Come on, Your Majesty.
Give us a clue.

You must have seen everything
that's gone on in this room.

Hopefully not.

If he's any kind
of a gentleman,

he turned his back
once in a while.

Yes!

What are you doing?

If I'm wrong, vandalism.

Letter opener. Desk.

Here we go.

"My dearest Mary,
this will be my last letter,

"as the Queen is
growing suspicious.

"I understand the reasons
behind your request,

but cannot agree
to recognize our son
George as legitimate."

George is Lady Mary's son?

And the king is his father.

That means he's royalty,

and if he's royalty,
than he's next in
line for the throne

if there are no
other male heirs.

We've got to get that letter
to the press.

Grab them.

George. Speak of the devil.

I should have
known you were rebels.

What have you done
to the Duke and Duchess,
and my aunt?

Is that how you're
going to cover this up?

Frame us for
their disappearance?

Sure, go ahead, blame
the American Revolutionists.

What frame?
What are you talking about?

You can drop the act.

We know you're the king's son.

What? That's preposterous!

Take them away.

He doesn't know.

Know what?

Before you grease
up the guillotine,

you might want to read this.

I'm sorry.

What are you doing in here?

Danielle and I
had an argument.

I needed to get out of there.

You can do that permanently.

It wouldn't hurt my feelings.

What is with your attitude?

What have I ever done to you?

You hurt Danielle.

I'd advise you to cut it out.

If you can't treat her
with the love and respect
she deserves,

then you disappear,
and leave the job to me.

Listen, you have
temporary custody of my child,

but don't you forget
that Danielle is my wife.

Treat her that way, then.

You're always
going to have problems.

I mean, that's life.

But you have to face them
and not just walk away.

That's what got us
into all this mess.

Listen.

Hey, listen!

If you screw up with her,

you'll regret it
every day of your life.

I do.

Not now,
Lady Mary, please.

That's the beauty of tea.

When you don't want it
is exactly when you need it.

It's chamomile.

Very soothing.

It helped calm Danielle
and the professor.

It's nice. Thank you.

And for the little father.

Thank you.

How are you holding up?

For someone who just
found out

his aunt is his mother
and a murderer,
fine, I suppose.

Any idea
where she took them?

No, but I know somebody
who might.

Where did you take them?

There's red mud
all over this.

They're at Camp Muir,
aren't they?

Give me your sword.
Let's go.

Get the paramedics
to Camp Muir.

Everyone is asleep.
Use all of it.

I don't want to leave anything
for the coroner to examine.

Hey, Duke, you smoking?

Hey, Duke.

Fire!

What?

Come on! The terrace!

Remmy! Oh, my God!

The baby!

I'm going to put it out!

Why are we so groggy?

Oh. Judging by
the pounding in my head,
I would say

the tea was drugged.

But Lady Mary made the tea.

Precisely, Your Grace.

And she is
nowhere to be seen.

Professor, what's happening?

You've inhaled
too much smoke.

The child is in distress.

Then we've got to get it out.
Now!

Mr. Brown,
even if the fetus was viable,

there is no one here
to take it out.

You can.

Are you insane?

I'm
a theoretical mathematician,
not a butcher!

Please, give it a chance.

It should be
an inferno by now.

What's wrong?

Even if they
escaped the fire,
they couldn't have gone far.

I don't care
if it looks like
an accident anymore.

Just find them and kill them.

My dear friend,
this is going to
hurt like hell.

Save my son.

Don't worry.
I haven't lost a patient yet.

Oh, Lord.

That's the cabin.

Leave. Now!

Since when do
you give me orders?

Step aside, Lance.

Get down.

Do it!

George! What are you doing?

Stopping the bloodshed.

All right, you know.
Now don't muck it up.

With the child out of the way,
we can rule with you as king

as you were
always meant to be.

You can't be serious.

I've waited a long time
to get what was mine.

Promises were made, my son,
and now it's time to collect.

You're a monster.
Get in the car.

Don't be a fool, George.
I've done it all for you.

You'd better get to the cabin.

Professor?

The infant was in distress.
We had no choice.

He's beautiful.

Professor?

I'll never forget this.

Neither will I.

Now, get well.

Well, Remmy survived

and the nation
welcomed their new king,
Rembrandt I.

Stellos decided to keep quiet
about who his real father was,

and accepted
an appointment by the Duke
as Lord High Protector

until the King is of age.

It's been an emotional
roller-coaster ride for Remmy,

but he seems to have come
to a place of acceptance.

I sure am glad
he's coming with us.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You saved my marriage
and the life of my child.

How,
on this or any other world,
can I thank you?

Just protect them

and love them enough
for the both of us.

Thank you.

Well, it looks like
we weren't meant to be
on this world, either.

But I will always love you.

I'll never forget you.

Well, guys,
take one last look.

I hate goodbyes.

How is my patient doing?

Not too good.

This time you can
fall on me if you like.

Come on.

Are you all right?
Are you all right?

Yeah.

Good.

Well,
congratulations, Mr. Brown.

You gave birth to a son
and a king.

And that's
a remarkable achievement
for any man, anywhere.

Hey, it's crying! Crying Man!

Well, I guess some of me
did rub off on
the little rascal, huh?

Mommy, please, don't make me!
Mommy, I'm scared!

Oh, no!

Are you crazy?

Mommy, please!

Mommy, I don't want to!

Don't do it, ma'am!
Don't do it!

Let's talk
about this, please!

I'll go find help.

Don't do it! Please!

Let go, now.
Get down. Let go!

Please! Please! Don't! Don't!
Don't do it, please!

Push! Go!

Look, Mommy, no feet!

Oh!
It's the only way they learn.

♪ ♪