Skins (2007–2013): Season 5, Episode 2 - Rich - full transcript
Rich uses his taste in extreme music to keep the world, especially girls, at bay. When Alo finds Rich's perfect woman, Rich is forced to into pairing up with Grace to learn how to chat up ...
'Try to blend in...'
I'm Franky Fitzgerald.
It's my first day.
I'm...really sorry.
The brakes were fucked.
Has the circus come to town
'Who is this chick?'
Pussy.
Think her name's Mini.
She's fucked.
We're Franky's new friends.
Friends...?
'You've never worn make-up before!'
Do I look like
a bulimic fucking Barbie?!
Oh, my God. I...thought
something like his might happen.
Fuck you all!
Welcome to Bristol, Frankie.
Thumb
Rich...
Rich, mate.
Rich!
Sorry.
I want you to meet someone.
..This is Rich.
Hi.
I'm Arabella and this is Sally.
So, what were you listening to?
You wouldn't like it.
No, no, no. No, Rich, please...
Actually, we made a playlist, so...
I'm not with him.
Now, this...
is music.
Angel Of Death
Turn it off!
Turn it fucking off! Turn it off!
Wait - this is a good bit
coming up...
Slaye-e-e-e-er!
Oof!
You dick!
I'm never going to get laid
if you keep being such a douche
to all the dames we meet.
That's because all the girls we meet
are always arseholes.
I don't care if they're
one-legged, dead hermaphrodites,
I need some sex - soon.
It'll never happen if you actlike
an axe wound all the time.
I'm not wasting my time
on peroxide-sodden
Miley Cyrus Cowellistas.
You'resofull of shit. >
So, if a tasty metalhead piece
of clunge wandered into your life,
you'd ask her out - straight away
Yeah. And...she'd say yes.
Right...
Well, then,
I'm going to find you one.
I'm going to partner you up! >
I'll be like Cilla Black...
with a dick.
This'll be easy. College Green
is swarming with the fuckers.
She can't be fat, though.
Bollocks.
..floor!
? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
One!
# ..nothing wrong with me
Two!
# ..nothing wrong with me
? Three, nothing wrong with me
Four, nothing wrong with me
? One, something's got to give
Two, something's got to give
? Three, something's got to give... ?
PHONE RINGS
Hello?
'Rich - college, now!'
Morning. Off to college, are we?
Yes, Kevin,
that's where I go every day.
I really wish you wouldn't call me
Kevin, I'm your dad.
Yeah, well, I'm going now.
Have a good day, then.
I love you!
Yeah, whatever.
Right, what's going on?
What?
Why are we holding hands...?
Get...
Right, what?
I give you...
So...go and talk to her.
No, but...
Look at her, mate!
Remember what you said.
Fine...
Hi...
I, um...er...
..um...
Um... Oh...
Your T-shirt, that's...
Ha-ha! Um...
I...I was just...
..looking for a book.
Yeah, here it is.
Ha-ha! Ah.I've...
been looking for this for ages.
Er...anyway um...bye.
So...
Shut the fuck up, Alo.
You need help, Richard.
No, I don't.
OK, you gave me
barely any time to prepare, Alo.
I haven't even had breakfast yet.
Bollocks. You're terrible.
You need someone to teach you
the ways of the woman.
The method of the muff.
The Tao of...
tit-fuckery.
And that's you, is it, Alo? Yeah?
The guy who masturbates
so much that his hand
is now a shrivelled wank claw.
I've got most of the movement back
now, haven't I?
Maybe you're right, though.
I mean, we need someone
who properly knows girls,
but isn't going to think we're weird.
Like a girl.
But not like...
well, not like a girl.
Look, Rich, I can see your problem,
but you've come to the wrong place.
I can't help you.
I mean, I don't know
anything about girls either.
I don't have a mum or a sister.
My experience of girls
is mostly being beaten up by them.
Wait. I know someone who can help.
Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Fur Elise
You can see her vag
through that leotard.
Oh!
What are you guys doing here?
Rich here needs help.
Hi, Rich.
Hi.
What can I do for you?
He needs help talking to girls.
Ooh!Is someone in love?
There's this girl
who works in the library. And...
Gracie!
Oh.
Wotcha.
What are you doing in here?
Talking to Grace.
Why? Is that like a problem,
or something?
Oh, no.
I can't tell you
where you can and can't be
or stop you from talking to Gracie,
can I?
No, you can't.
I mean, we were just wondering if
Gracie's still coming for that mocha.
Weren't we, Liv?
Yeah, come on, Gracie.
Hey, I can see your...
your vag through that leotard.
I can honestly say I have
absolutely no, repeat,
no problem with it at all.
I mean, if she wants to stay and chat
with inbreds and lesbos and nerds.
Hey, no, hang on a fucking minute.
Fuck off back to Valhalla, weirdo.
Valhalla? Oh, let me guess.
That's a reference
to my taste in music, right?
Are you coming, Gracie?Yeah.
I'll, er...see you guys.
Great
Er...hi.
How can I help you?
Grace?
Yep, it's me.
Oh, fucking hell.
What's with the disguise?
Oh, I think it's best
if I stay undercover.
Mini will be happier
if she doesn't know about it.
The last thing I wanted to do
is upset anyone.
Mm, how valiant of you
I know, right?
So, I've decided to help you.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Why not?
No offence, but you
kind of represent everything
I despise in the world.
Oh, don't be silly, Richard.
My mum always says opposites attract.
That's magnets. We're people.
Come on.
What?Take me to her.
Who?The girl you like. Come on.
Come on, then.
Wow, she's pretty.
Why is she wearing a dog collar?
Cos she's a metalhead.
What's a metalhead?
What?
This is. Me. I'm a metalhead.
I like metal music.
Why do you think I dress like this?
I thought it was a joke
No, it's not a joke.
You know, I'm not a fucking clown
dressing up silly to make you laugh.
This is me. This is who I am.
Forget it. This will never work.
But it will work.
You may not know this about me, Rich,
but I'm not only a dancer,
I'm an actor as well.
Right, how's that going to help
anything?
Using acting, I shall inhabit
the role of "the metalhead",
and whilst I'm in character,
you can practise chatting her up.
That's the worst idea since
genocide. Possibly even worse.
Why would you ever want to do that?
What other choice have you got,
Richard?
All right, fine.Great.
Now all you have to do
is help me get into character.
Fine!
Right, come with me.
Yo, yo, Rich. How you doing, bro?
I got your tickets.
How much?There you go.
Brilliant.
It's going to be fucking sweet.
Yeah.
What's that?
Napalm Death.
Biggest gig of the year.
They haven't played in the city
since... Atomic Kitten were big.
Oh. Maybe we can go together.
No, if I went with you,
I wouldn't want to go.
Who is this nice young lady that you
are not taking to the gig, Rich?
Grace. She's just a mate.
How you doing, Grace?
Not even a mate.
She's more of an acquaintance.
Hello, Toxic Bob.How you doing?
Oh, what's that?
This behind me is Misplaced
Abortion's third record.
Apparently Dirk Strangle,
the singer, he went loopy
after they made it.
It is said to be the heaviest,
loudest record of all time.
Only three in existence.
Have you listened to it?
No, no, no. You can't listen to it.
It's way too heavy.
And to the normal human brain
it doesn't make any sense.
And to most of us,
it sounds like silence.
That makes no sense.
I know.
What a surprise.
She doesn't understand.
You've never heard of these guys?
It's fucking retarded, right?
Mind if I play her a few things?
Knock yourselves out.
I'll give you something light
to ease you in.
Ready?
I think you might like this.
Grab them headphones.
It won't be like last time.
All right, are you ready?
My Plague
Better, right?
How much is it?
Well, I tell you what, you
can take it...take it as a gift
cos I feel bad you passed out,
and all that stuff.
If you don't like it, bring it back.
What, free metal?
Where's my free metal?
You never give out free metal.
Just cos she's got those and that.
Oh!
Sod off, you...sod!
Rich, let me tell you a story.
I told Dave Mustaine this
in 1983 and I think it
bears repeating today.
What?
Don't be an ass hat
and people will like you more.
You need to be nicer to me, Rich.
Come on, you're never
going to like this CD.
You know, you've called me stupid
about three times today,
and I want it to stop.
I bet you couldn't answer
one question about ballet.
Yeah, that's because ballet is lame
and I really couldn't give a fuck.
Ballet is everything to me.
Just like metal is to you.
I'm trying to understand your way,
but you won't let me.
You didn't really like the stuff
Toxic Bob played, did you?
I did like it.
It had counterpoint and melody
and everything else I like in music.
Not that horrible noise you played
me. That was just evil.
Right, well, ballet is just
for gays and grannies.
Stop treating me like an idiot
and help me.
Cos I'm trying to help you, aren't I?
Aren't I?
Oh, suit yourself.
What?So, are you going to do it,
then?
Do what?
It, her, the Angel of Death.
You've had plenty of time to prepare
with Grace. If you don't do it...
What? What...what terrible act
will you visit on my soul?
Gay.
Oh, that's mature
Gay.
So, are you just going to...
Gay.
I'm not...
Gay, gay, gay, gay.
Gay.
? Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay... ?
Yeah, all right, you're a fucking...
Lovely. First thing tomorrow.
Ah...!
Just drop me here.
Shove up.
Sorry, someone's sitting there.
Oh, yeah? Who?
Er...you.
What?
I'm Sub. Short for Sub-Rosa.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, Sub, I'm Rich.
So, what do you do for fun, Rich?
Er...listen to music.
Go to gigs.
Er...hang out with my mate Alo.
That's about it, really.
You don't have any other friends,
just this Alo guy?
Yeah, just him, really.
No-one else?
Well, recently there's been
a couple of other people.
This girl Franky and...
others.
Others?
Yeah...there's this girl
who's helping me, I suppose.
OK, what sort of music
are you into, Sub?
Oh, you know, Industrial, mostly -
Godflesh, early Scorn, TKK.
Nine Inch Nails?
Fuck off.
Trent Reznor can suck my cock.
This girl, then, who's helping you...
...what do you think of her?
Honestly?
Honestly.
She's all right. But... she
lets people walk all over her.
And her friends treat her like
shit, and she doesn't say a word.
Maybe she knows her friends
love her.
Or maybe she's got
no fucking self-respect.
You think you know me, Rich.
No-one fucking knows me.
Not you, not Mini, not Liv.
No-one's got a fucking clue
who I am or what I can do.
So...so, you're Grace now?
Yes, I am Grace,
and I'm not going to let you
talk to me like that.
This is more like it, Grace.
You shouldn't let me trash-talk you.
You shouldn't let anyone trash-talk
you, especially your mates.
It makes me so...fucking angry.
Be angry.
I am angry!
Never compromise.
Never compromise.
Yeah, like this track. "Fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me."
Yeah, fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do
what you tell me.
Fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me!
Motherfucker!
So...
Um...I guess I'm going to ask out
the Angel of Death.
First thing tomorrow.
Oh, right.
Yeah, well, um...
I've, um...got to go.
So, um...I'll see you later.
Yeah.
See you later.F
What would you do, eh, Barney?
Just ask her out, I suppose.
Er...did you
say something, Richard?
No, Kevin.
Listen, you know it's your
mother's birthday tomorrow.
Yeah.
Still, though...
Get her something.
What, with moneyyou'vegiven me?
It seems a bit pointless, doesn't it?
Listen, I know what it's like.
When I was your age,
all I cared about
was getting away from my family,
Yeah? What went wrong?
Bye, Richard.I l...
Don't fucking say it, all right?
Hello. I'm Richard Hardbeck.
How are you?
Um...OK,
so, what sort of music are you into?
What do you like to do for fun?
Look, listen.
Do you...do you want to come out
for a drink with me?
No.
No, actually, why not?
No, actually, why not?
Why not?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I'm too pretty for you.
Because you're weird-looking.
Because I can
smell your pants from here.
But mostly because I would rather
rim the shit-smeared arsehole
of a dead horse with AIDS
than even consider the possibility
of touching your wiry,
gangrenous, vile, inadequate,
half-circumcised,
horrifically smelly,
pubescent dick. OK?
Rich. Hey.
Rich. Hey.
Hey.
So, last night was fun.
Er...what? Yeah, yeah. Fun.
I was wondering if, um...
you might like to
do something again some time.
Cos I've got this ballet recital...
No, I can't come tonight.
I've got my gig, haven't I?
OK, well, then maybe...
No, OK? I said no.
All right?
Van. Now.
What?
Explain yourself.
Now you've got something to wank over
when your broadband fails.
What's the problem?
The...the problem is
that I just saw you reject a date
with one of the hottest girls
in college.
She's not hot, OK?
Every other man in the room
would be balls deep...
I'm not every other man.
I'm not every other man.
What's so fucking
special about you? >
Why are you
so different to everyone? >
Cos I don't compromise ever.
I'm metal!
the next thing you'd see
is me body-popping
to Lil Wayne down Oceana.
Mate, listen to me.
Right, you can't just go through
life with all these fucking...
No, how about you listen to me...
for once?
This is Barney. Napalm Death.
He never let anyone
What the fuck does he know?
He spent his life
either sitting on a bus,
masturbating,
or playing unlistenable music
in Swansea!
He ain't got a clue!
Where you going?
To prove you wrong.
Oh, you're full of shit, Rich!
You're just scared! Man the fuck up!
R-Pattz, you dirty,
diggety, double-deal...
Hey, what's up, Rich?
Looking forward to Napalm Death
tonight?
Looking forward to Napalm Death
tonight?
I want it, Bob.
You want what, Bob?
You know what.
Oh, you want it?
Yes.
Yes.
It's 500, boy.
It's all there, huh?
Is it?!
Just a record?
And I saw your copy of Heat,
you fucking sellout!
Some people's children...
Hm.
Bring the noise, motherfucker.
What...what do I do now?
Wait for what?
What do I donow?
I can't hear you.
I've gone deaf.
I've seen a doctor, though.
Should come back soon.
NO SOUND
Listen, Grace...
...I thought that, er...
I thought your dancing
was really beautiful.
I tore up the ticket.
Be careful.
Fuck careful!
Grace.
Fur Elise
? Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the...
? Floor!
Oh, thank fuck.
Cheers, Barney.
Oh, fuck.
Kevin!
Kevin!
Kevin!
Kevin!
I'm in the Wendy house.
I'm out of moisturiser,
so if you and Anita have got...
Oh. Cheers.
Kevin?
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
How did you...
How did you...
How did you ask Mum out?
Ah.
Question about the fairer sex.
Interesting.
Forget it, if you're going to be a
douche.
Um...no, no, no.
Listen...
If there's a girl that you like,
all you have to do is ask.
That's what I did with your mother.
And it was the most frightening
thing I ever did.
You've just got to be brave.
The worst that could happen is,
she says no.
And what then?
Well...you try again...
or you move on.
No problem, son.
See you...Dad.
Is the gay convention in town,
or something?
Where the hell have you been all
day?
Listen, Alo, I...
No, mate. Don't.
I...I just, you know... I...
It's cool, mate.
No worries, yeah?
OK.
OK.
I'm sorry, was that, like,
a conversation you two just had?
That was like an outtake
from Rain Man.
Yeah? I'm Tom Cruise.
Er...have you seen Grace?
Why?
Because...
She's on College Green.
Oh. Er...see you in a bit, yeah?
Yeah, in a bit.
Grace.
Oh. Rich.
Hey, can I, er...talk to you?
Oh, OK.
So, you can hear again?
Er...yeah.
Something must have clicked last
night.
Awesome.
Look, I'm meeting Mini in a minute,
so you need to be quick.
Well, um...
I had a good time last night.
Me too.It was perfect. I loved it.
I would have told you after,
but you were deaf.
You got my text, though?
Yeah.
Oh, right.
Things got pretty close last night,
didn't they?
Er...
Er...
It's probably good...
nothing happened between us.
Right?
Yeah, I...
..guess so.
Who are the flowers for?
My mum.
Really?
No, really.
Right.
Gracie!
I have to go.
I'll, er...see you soon?
Hi, Min. >
Hey, babe.
Hello, Gracie.
? Have you run your fingers down the
wall
? And have you felt your neck skin
crawl
? Sometimes when you're scaredto
take a look at the corner of the room
? You've sensedthat something's
watching you
? Fear of the dark
Fear of the dark
With just two days to go
until our charity fashion show,
Gracie is finally ready
to reveal her designs.
I need two gorgeous models
to walk me and Liv down the runway.
I do the fashion show,
you stay over tonight.
You're the ultimate boyfriend.
I'm Franky Fitzgerald.
It's my first day.
I'm...really sorry.
The brakes were fucked.
Has the circus come to town
'Who is this chick?'
Pussy.
Think her name's Mini.
She's fucked.
We're Franky's new friends.
Friends...?
'You've never worn make-up before!'
Do I look like
a bulimic fucking Barbie?!
Oh, my God. I...thought
something like his might happen.
Fuck you all!
Welcome to Bristol, Frankie.
Thumb
Rich...
Rich, mate.
Rich!
Sorry.
I want you to meet someone.
..This is Rich.
Hi.
I'm Arabella and this is Sally.
So, what were you listening to?
You wouldn't like it.
No, no, no. No, Rich, please...
Actually, we made a playlist, so...
I'm not with him.
Now, this...
is music.
Angel Of Death
Turn it off!
Turn it fucking off! Turn it off!
Wait - this is a good bit
coming up...
Slaye-e-e-e-er!
Oof!
You dick!
I'm never going to get laid
if you keep being such a douche
to all the dames we meet.
That's because all the girls we meet
are always arseholes.
I don't care if they're
one-legged, dead hermaphrodites,
I need some sex - soon.
It'll never happen if you actlike
an axe wound all the time.
I'm not wasting my time
on peroxide-sodden
Miley Cyrus Cowellistas.
You'resofull of shit. >
So, if a tasty metalhead piece
of clunge wandered into your life,
you'd ask her out - straight away
Yeah. And...she'd say yes.
Right...
Well, then,
I'm going to find you one.
I'm going to partner you up! >
I'll be like Cilla Black...
with a dick.
This'll be easy. College Green
is swarming with the fuckers.
She can't be fat, though.
Bollocks.
..floor!
? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
One!
# ..nothing wrong with me
Two!
# ..nothing wrong with me
? Three, nothing wrong with me
Four, nothing wrong with me
? One, something's got to give
Two, something's got to give
? Three, something's got to give... ?
PHONE RINGS
Hello?
'Rich - college, now!'
Morning. Off to college, are we?
Yes, Kevin,
that's where I go every day.
I really wish you wouldn't call me
Kevin, I'm your dad.
Yeah, well, I'm going now.
Have a good day, then.
I love you!
Yeah, whatever.
Right, what's going on?
What?
Why are we holding hands...?
Get...
Right, what?
I give you...
So...go and talk to her.
No, but...
Look at her, mate!
Remember what you said.
Fine...
Hi...
I, um...er...
..um...
Um... Oh...
Your T-shirt, that's...
Ha-ha! Um...
I...I was just...
..looking for a book.
Yeah, here it is.
Ha-ha! Ah.I've...
been looking for this for ages.
Er...anyway um...bye.
So...
Shut the fuck up, Alo.
You need help, Richard.
No, I don't.
OK, you gave me
barely any time to prepare, Alo.
I haven't even had breakfast yet.
Bollocks. You're terrible.
You need someone to teach you
the ways of the woman.
The method of the muff.
The Tao of...
tit-fuckery.
And that's you, is it, Alo? Yeah?
The guy who masturbates
so much that his hand
is now a shrivelled wank claw.
I've got most of the movement back
now, haven't I?
Maybe you're right, though.
I mean, we need someone
who properly knows girls,
but isn't going to think we're weird.
Like a girl.
But not like...
well, not like a girl.
Look, Rich, I can see your problem,
but you've come to the wrong place.
I can't help you.
I mean, I don't know
anything about girls either.
I don't have a mum or a sister.
My experience of girls
is mostly being beaten up by them.
Wait. I know someone who can help.
Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Fur Elise
You can see her vag
through that leotard.
Oh!
What are you guys doing here?
Rich here needs help.
Hi, Rich.
Hi.
What can I do for you?
He needs help talking to girls.
Ooh!Is someone in love?
There's this girl
who works in the library. And...
Gracie!
Oh.
Wotcha.
What are you doing in here?
Talking to Grace.
Why? Is that like a problem,
or something?
Oh, no.
I can't tell you
where you can and can't be
or stop you from talking to Gracie,
can I?
No, you can't.
I mean, we were just wondering if
Gracie's still coming for that mocha.
Weren't we, Liv?
Yeah, come on, Gracie.
Hey, I can see your...
your vag through that leotard.
I can honestly say I have
absolutely no, repeat,
no problem with it at all.
I mean, if she wants to stay and chat
with inbreds and lesbos and nerds.
Hey, no, hang on a fucking minute.
Fuck off back to Valhalla, weirdo.
Valhalla? Oh, let me guess.
That's a reference
to my taste in music, right?
Are you coming, Gracie?Yeah.
I'll, er...see you guys.
Great
Er...hi.
How can I help you?
Grace?
Yep, it's me.
Oh, fucking hell.
What's with the disguise?
Oh, I think it's best
if I stay undercover.
Mini will be happier
if she doesn't know about it.
The last thing I wanted to do
is upset anyone.
Mm, how valiant of you
I know, right?
So, I've decided to help you.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Why not?
No offence, but you
kind of represent everything
I despise in the world.
Oh, don't be silly, Richard.
My mum always says opposites attract.
That's magnets. We're people.
Come on.
What?Take me to her.
Who?The girl you like. Come on.
Come on, then.
Wow, she's pretty.
Why is she wearing a dog collar?
Cos she's a metalhead.
What's a metalhead?
What?
This is. Me. I'm a metalhead.
I like metal music.
Why do you think I dress like this?
I thought it was a joke
No, it's not a joke.
You know, I'm not a fucking clown
dressing up silly to make you laugh.
This is me. This is who I am.
Forget it. This will never work.
But it will work.
You may not know this about me, Rich,
but I'm not only a dancer,
I'm an actor as well.
Right, how's that going to help
anything?
Using acting, I shall inhabit
the role of "the metalhead",
and whilst I'm in character,
you can practise chatting her up.
That's the worst idea since
genocide. Possibly even worse.
Why would you ever want to do that?
What other choice have you got,
Richard?
All right, fine.Great.
Now all you have to do
is help me get into character.
Fine!
Right, come with me.
Yo, yo, Rich. How you doing, bro?
I got your tickets.
How much?There you go.
Brilliant.
It's going to be fucking sweet.
Yeah.
What's that?
Napalm Death.
Biggest gig of the year.
They haven't played in the city
since... Atomic Kitten were big.
Oh. Maybe we can go together.
No, if I went with you,
I wouldn't want to go.
Who is this nice young lady that you
are not taking to the gig, Rich?
Grace. She's just a mate.
How you doing, Grace?
Not even a mate.
She's more of an acquaintance.
Hello, Toxic Bob.How you doing?
Oh, what's that?
This behind me is Misplaced
Abortion's third record.
Apparently Dirk Strangle,
the singer, he went loopy
after they made it.
It is said to be the heaviest,
loudest record of all time.
Only three in existence.
Have you listened to it?
No, no, no. You can't listen to it.
It's way too heavy.
And to the normal human brain
it doesn't make any sense.
And to most of us,
it sounds like silence.
That makes no sense.
I know.
What a surprise.
She doesn't understand.
You've never heard of these guys?
It's fucking retarded, right?
Mind if I play her a few things?
Knock yourselves out.
I'll give you something light
to ease you in.
Ready?
I think you might like this.
Grab them headphones.
It won't be like last time.
All right, are you ready?
My Plague
Better, right?
How much is it?
Well, I tell you what, you
can take it...take it as a gift
cos I feel bad you passed out,
and all that stuff.
If you don't like it, bring it back.
What, free metal?
Where's my free metal?
You never give out free metal.
Just cos she's got those and that.
Oh!
Sod off, you...sod!
Rich, let me tell you a story.
I told Dave Mustaine this
in 1983 and I think it
bears repeating today.
What?
Don't be an ass hat
and people will like you more.
You need to be nicer to me, Rich.
Come on, you're never
going to like this CD.
You know, you've called me stupid
about three times today,
and I want it to stop.
I bet you couldn't answer
one question about ballet.
Yeah, that's because ballet is lame
and I really couldn't give a fuck.
Ballet is everything to me.
Just like metal is to you.
I'm trying to understand your way,
but you won't let me.
You didn't really like the stuff
Toxic Bob played, did you?
I did like it.
It had counterpoint and melody
and everything else I like in music.
Not that horrible noise you played
me. That was just evil.
Right, well, ballet is just
for gays and grannies.
Stop treating me like an idiot
and help me.
Cos I'm trying to help you, aren't I?
Aren't I?
Oh, suit yourself.
What?So, are you going to do it,
then?
Do what?
It, her, the Angel of Death.
You've had plenty of time to prepare
with Grace. If you don't do it...
What? What...what terrible act
will you visit on my soul?
Gay.
Oh, that's mature
Gay.
So, are you just going to...
Gay.
I'm not...
Gay, gay, gay, gay.
Gay.
? Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay... ?
Yeah, all right, you're a fucking...
Lovely. First thing tomorrow.
Ah...!
Just drop me here.
Shove up.
Sorry, someone's sitting there.
Oh, yeah? Who?
Er...you.
What?
I'm Sub. Short for Sub-Rosa.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, Sub, I'm Rich.
So, what do you do for fun, Rich?
Er...listen to music.
Go to gigs.
Er...hang out with my mate Alo.
That's about it, really.
You don't have any other friends,
just this Alo guy?
Yeah, just him, really.
No-one else?
Well, recently there's been
a couple of other people.
This girl Franky and...
others.
Others?
Yeah...there's this girl
who's helping me, I suppose.
OK, what sort of music
are you into, Sub?
Oh, you know, Industrial, mostly -
Godflesh, early Scorn, TKK.
Nine Inch Nails?
Fuck off.
Trent Reznor can suck my cock.
This girl, then, who's helping you...
...what do you think of her?
Honestly?
Honestly.
She's all right. But... she
lets people walk all over her.
And her friends treat her like
shit, and she doesn't say a word.
Maybe she knows her friends
love her.
Or maybe she's got
no fucking self-respect.
You think you know me, Rich.
No-one fucking knows me.
Not you, not Mini, not Liv.
No-one's got a fucking clue
who I am or what I can do.
So...so, you're Grace now?
Yes, I am Grace,
and I'm not going to let you
talk to me like that.
This is more like it, Grace.
You shouldn't let me trash-talk you.
You shouldn't let anyone trash-talk
you, especially your mates.
It makes me so...fucking angry.
Be angry.
I am angry!
Never compromise.
Never compromise.
Yeah, like this track. "Fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me."
Yeah, fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do
what you tell me.
Fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you,
I won't do what you tell me!
Motherfucker!
So...
Um...I guess I'm going to ask out
the Angel of Death.
First thing tomorrow.
Oh, right.
Yeah, well, um...
I've, um...got to go.
So, um...I'll see you later.
Yeah.
See you later.F
What would you do, eh, Barney?
Just ask her out, I suppose.
Er...did you
say something, Richard?
No, Kevin.
Listen, you know it's your
mother's birthday tomorrow.
Yeah.
Still, though...
Get her something.
What, with moneyyou'vegiven me?
It seems a bit pointless, doesn't it?
Listen, I know what it's like.
When I was your age,
all I cared about
was getting away from my family,
Yeah? What went wrong?
Bye, Richard.I l...
Don't fucking say it, all right?
Hello. I'm Richard Hardbeck.
How are you?
Um...OK,
so, what sort of music are you into?
What do you like to do for fun?
Look, listen.
Do you...do you want to come out
for a drink with me?
No.
No, actually, why not?
No, actually, why not?
Why not?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I'm too pretty for you.
Because you're weird-looking.
Because I can
smell your pants from here.
But mostly because I would rather
rim the shit-smeared arsehole
of a dead horse with AIDS
than even consider the possibility
of touching your wiry,
gangrenous, vile, inadequate,
half-circumcised,
horrifically smelly,
pubescent dick. OK?
Rich. Hey.
Rich. Hey.
Hey.
So, last night was fun.
Er...what? Yeah, yeah. Fun.
I was wondering if, um...
you might like to
do something again some time.
Cos I've got this ballet recital...
No, I can't come tonight.
I've got my gig, haven't I?
OK, well, then maybe...
No, OK? I said no.
All right?
Van. Now.
What?
Explain yourself.
Now you've got something to wank over
when your broadband fails.
What's the problem?
The...the problem is
that I just saw you reject a date
with one of the hottest girls
in college.
She's not hot, OK?
Every other man in the room
would be balls deep...
I'm not every other man.
I'm not every other man.
What's so fucking
special about you? >
Why are you
so different to everyone? >
Cos I don't compromise ever.
I'm metal!
the next thing you'd see
is me body-popping
to Lil Wayne down Oceana.
Mate, listen to me.
Right, you can't just go through
life with all these fucking...
No, how about you listen to me...
for once?
This is Barney. Napalm Death.
He never let anyone
What the fuck does he know?
He spent his life
either sitting on a bus,
masturbating,
or playing unlistenable music
in Swansea!
He ain't got a clue!
Where you going?
To prove you wrong.
Oh, you're full of shit, Rich!
You're just scared! Man the fuck up!
R-Pattz, you dirty,
diggety, double-deal...
Hey, what's up, Rich?
Looking forward to Napalm Death
tonight?
Looking forward to Napalm Death
tonight?
I want it, Bob.
You want what, Bob?
You know what.
Oh, you want it?
Yes.
Yes.
It's 500, boy.
It's all there, huh?
Is it?!
Just a record?
And I saw your copy of Heat,
you fucking sellout!
Some people's children...
Hm.
Bring the noise, motherfucker.
What...what do I do now?
Wait for what?
What do I donow?
I can't hear you.
I've gone deaf.
I've seen a doctor, though.
Should come back soon.
NO SOUND
Listen, Grace...
...I thought that, er...
I thought your dancing
was really beautiful.
I tore up the ticket.
Be careful.
Fuck careful!
Grace.
Fur Elise
? Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the...
? Floor!
Oh, thank fuck.
Cheers, Barney.
Oh, fuck.
Kevin!
Kevin!
Kevin!
Kevin!
I'm in the Wendy house.
I'm out of moisturiser,
so if you and Anita have got...
Oh. Cheers.
Kevin?
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
How did you...
How did you...
How did you ask Mum out?
Ah.
Question about the fairer sex.
Interesting.
Forget it, if you're going to be a
douche.
Um...no, no, no.
Listen...
If there's a girl that you like,
all you have to do is ask.
That's what I did with your mother.
And it was the most frightening
thing I ever did.
You've just got to be brave.
The worst that could happen is,
she says no.
And what then?
Well...you try again...
or you move on.
No problem, son.
See you...Dad.
Is the gay convention in town,
or something?
Where the hell have you been all
day?
Listen, Alo, I...
No, mate. Don't.
I...I just, you know... I...
It's cool, mate.
No worries, yeah?
OK.
OK.
I'm sorry, was that, like,
a conversation you two just had?
That was like an outtake
from Rain Man.
Yeah? I'm Tom Cruise.
Er...have you seen Grace?
Why?
Because...
She's on College Green.
Oh. Er...see you in a bit, yeah?
Yeah, in a bit.
Grace.
Oh. Rich.
Hey, can I, er...talk to you?
Oh, OK.
So, you can hear again?
Er...yeah.
Something must have clicked last
night.
Awesome.
Look, I'm meeting Mini in a minute,
so you need to be quick.
Well, um...
I had a good time last night.
Me too.It was perfect. I loved it.
I would have told you after,
but you were deaf.
You got my text, though?
Yeah.
Oh, right.
Things got pretty close last night,
didn't they?
Er...
Er...
It's probably good...
nothing happened between us.
Right?
Yeah, I...
..guess so.
Who are the flowers for?
My mum.
Really?
No, really.
Right.
Gracie!
I have to go.
I'll, er...see you soon?
Hi, Min. >
Hey, babe.
Hello, Gracie.
? Have you run your fingers down the
wall
? And have you felt your neck skin
crawl
? Sometimes when you're scaredto
take a look at the corner of the room
? You've sensedthat something's
watching you
? Fear of the dark
Fear of the dark
With just two days to go
until our charity fashion show,
Gracie is finally ready
to reveal her designs.
I need two gorgeous models
to walk me and Liv down the runway.
I do the fashion show,
you stay over tonight.
You're the ultimate boyfriend.