Skins (2007–2013): Season 5, Episode 1 - Franky - full transcript

(TICKING)

(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

(# THE STRANGE BOYS: Be Brave)

♪ I walked away

♪ From everyone I know

♪ I looked around and thought

♪ This must be
what it's like to be alone

♪ When it's bet on me

♪ I wanna grow old

♪ I bend my will

♪ I wanna come home... ♪



Hey, what are you looking at?

♪ ...End up thinks I'm gone

♪ Oh, how to be brave... ♪

Come here.

♪ ... You've got to be brave

♪ Oh, how to be brave

♪ You've got to be brave

♪ Oh, how to be brave... ♪

All set, tiger?

That's the last of the boxes.

Serrano and reblochon sandwich,
just in case the cafeteria isn't...

Now, where's that smile?

GEOFF: You off, Franky?

Franky?



New start, remember?
Just try to blend in.

And don't take any crap this time.

♪ ...Oh, how to be brave... ♪

Bye, Dads.

♪ ...Oh, how to be brave

♪ You gotta be brave

♪ Oh, how to be brave

♪ You gotta be

♪ Looks like no choice to me. ♪

(CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

What the fuck is that?

- Is that a batty or a lezzer?
- Let's check it out!

We're BS5, get me?

So?

Yo. You deaf?

Yeah, get it, bitch.

Shut the fuck up!

- Come on, boys. Let's get 'er.
- Get him!

She went up here!

There!

Stop her!

Shit, shit, shit.

You're so iced.

Screw you!

Get her!

(HORN BEEPS)

Oi!

- Ouch.
- Batty's getting away.

Get out of my way!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Get out of my way!

Move! Move, move!

- You OK, babe?
- What the fuck

- happened to my bike?
- Mangled to shit, mate.

- What a plonker.
- My bike, man.

- Yeah.
- My God, no.

(BEEPING AND MURMURING VOICES)

Sorry.

I'm really, really sorry.
The, er...

the brakes were fucked.

(LAUGHTER)

Wow.

Has the circus
come to town, or what?

Uh, uh. In you go.

I'm, uh, I'm Franky.

Er, Fitzgerald. It's my first day.

F...F...Fitz. Oh!

The last-minute transfer.

Francesca?

Your first period
is Sports Foundation, so...

What? But I haven't got kit.

Franky, my dear, I don't give a damn!

And I've got just the thing -
my own contribution...

(HUMS ''Relax'')

(# FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD:
Relax)

♪ Give it to me one time now

♪ Yeah...

♪ Woah-oh...

♪ We-ell...

♪ Now

♪ Relax

♪ Don't do it

♪ When you want to go to it

♪ Relax

♪ Don't do it

♪ When you want to come

♪ Relax

♪ Don't do it

♪ When you want to sock to it

♪ Relax
Don't do it

- # When you want to come... #
- (COUGHS)

♪ ... When you want to come

♪ Relax

♪ Don't do it
When you want to sock to it

♪ Relax

♪ Don't do it

- # Now's the time it's party time
- # Hey

♪ Come. ♪

Er, excuse me.

I was just wondering, are you, like,

in fancy dress,

or is that look
an actual, like, choice?

No.

(LAUGHTER)

What?

Oh, my God, what the hell are those?

Problem?

Earth to Oddness,
what are you staring at?

(WHISPERS) Fucking hell.

See you on the field...stud.

Try not to run me over next time.

See ya!

Bye!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(# JAY JAY PISTOLET:
Bags Of Gold)

♪ You are a regular brute of a man

♪ You clench your nails
and your knuckles in your hand

♪ Oh, come on, take a shot... ♪

Move!

You muppet!

(CHEERING)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Pussy.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

♪ ...Bags of gold... ♪

- Coming through, bitch!
- Argh!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

- Take that!
- Nobody does that to me, OK?!

Oi, oi, oi! Hey!

Shake hands and heal, ladies.

Come on, shake.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Nothing to see, girls. Play on.

Better watch your fucking back
or you're dead meat...

bruv.

♪ ...Gold

♪ Gold. ♪

Scooter Girl! Now we're even, Steven.

Hey, short stuff, what's up?

Nothing, just some nightmare girl.

So who is this chick
that brings on the sweats?

Think her name's Mini.

BOTH: She's fucked.

Why?

Meet Anita.

Mini's last slay.

She wore the same outfit
on the first day of college. Not pretty.

If Roundview was a medieval village,
I'd strap that witch to a ducking stool.

Save us your
Middle Ages wet dream, Rich!

She's probably got, like,
frigging gills under her armpits.

A-hem!

Oh, crap.

Ladies! How's it hanging?

Cowshit and Bullshit. Fuck off now.

All yours.

Those dicks are death. Avoid.

Haven't seen you round Bristol.
How come you started so late?

- I kind of, like, moved here.
- From where?

- Oxford.
- Understandable, but why?

Look, if you're gonna start shit, can you
please just get it over with now,

- because I had enough grief before and...
- Start shit?

- What grief?
- Before, like Oxford or past-life before?

Cos I had a dream two Sundays ago

that I was a slave
actually working on a plantation

- in Jamaica...
- BOTH: Shut up, Grace.

No hard feelings. Again. I'm Mini.

- Liv.
- Grace. Hello!

Franky.

You know, you're pretty fucking...

Badass.

Yes, you are.

So, Franky Badass...

fancy hanging out later?

No. Er, I mean, no, thanks.

- Are you saying our shit stinks?
- No, I'm sure it smells...Iovely.

Not alternative enough for you?

I... I just... I've got to, um...
I've got to go home after college.

See you later!

Don't be gay, Gracie.

What was that about?

New start, yeah? New start.

(BELL RINGS)

Ah, newbie. School's out.

I, uh, had a stomach ache.

Oh, you got proof?

Stool photos, shit like that?

Er, no.

Copy what's on the board.
Present tomorrow. You're first.

(# FREELANCE WHALES:
Generator Second Floor)

♪ I could never tell as a kid
What that window door went to

♪ Only told to stay away
I almost had an accident aged six

♪ When I found the key in the attic... ♪

All right?

Oh, great!

It's leftovers.
It'd be rude not to.

Franky?

Nice one.

Welcome to our world!

(# FRÉDÉRIC CHOPIN: Minute Waltz)

Come on, Franky.

Oh! Sorry.

(ON BOOMBOX # K'NAAN: ABCs)

♪ We ain't got nowhere we can run to
They only teach us the things that guns do

♪ They don't teach us the ABCs

♪ We play on the hard concrete
All we got is life on the streets

♪ All we got is life on the streets
They don't teach us the ABCs

♪ We play on the hard concrete
All we got is life on the streets

♪ All we got is life on the streets
Superman is known by the locals

♪ As this dude who's so fly it's global
Fight with guns or utensils... ♪

(MUSIC CONTINUES IN THE DISTANCE)

Peekaboo, Mini-moo!

- Franky's seriously got the funk.
- MAN: Oi!

So, Frunky, I'm having
a party tomorrow night

and, er, was wondering...like to...come?

That'd be...yeah, that'd be cool!

Excellent!
Oh, but, um, what are you going to wear?

Cos we need, well, the situation
sorted out first. No offence!

Come on, guys!

Oh, my gosh. You've never worn
make-up before, have you?

No.

What about with your girls in Oxford?

I didn't have none.

No friends?

No, I had a mate, a best mate, Dean,
but he went young offenders.

That is so fucking cool!

I won't bite.

Look, it's just to try, OK?
Some eye shadow won't hurt.

Ah, beautiful.

You've totally got, like,
''fuck me'' eyes, girl.

Totally ''fuck me sideways'' eyes.

When you've finished
licking her out...

we've got outfits to sort!

Hm, let's see...

This will be perfect for you, Franks!

FRANKY: I look like a fucking twat.

What, like me, you mean?

No. No, it's just...

You look...

Like a punky butterfly!

So it's sorted, then!

What is?

What you're wearing to my party,
butterfly.

Minus the wife-beater
and, um, shorts, naturally.

- Fucking hell.
- Hurry up!

Knock yourself out.

Got the eye make-up for you - enjoy.

(SHOP ALARM BLARES)

Peg it!

(# THE VACCINES: Wreckin' Bar (Ra Ra Ra) )

♪ Pretty girl
Wreckin' bar, ra ra ra ra

♪ Yeah, you are
Growin' up

♪ I'm twice the man

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, I aml

♪ The angels gave
F Scott Fitzgerald

♪ The Evening News
and the Morning Herald... ♪

Here, Franky, take this!

That was so sick, Franky!

You OK, Mins?

Fine. I mean, apart from securing
a Crimewatch spot with thieves,

abso-fucking-lutely!

I'm kind of near here,
so I'II, er, I'll see you guys.

Franky!

Is that your dad?

Franky?

GRACE: And who's that with him?

My other dad.
I'm, er... I'm adopted.

Oh! Like Annie. I totally love her.

I can't stand the bitch.

- Are they, er, troubling you?
- No, I'm fine.

We're Franky's new friends!

- Friends?
- Friends?

- Girl...
- ...friends?

Yes.

Was Franky, like, bridesmaid?

Oh, no, we've only been blessed
with her for two years.

♪ Ta-da! ♪

My man's a chef de partie.

Franky? Anyone else?

Mm, this is sex!
So you actually made it, Jeff?

At four this fucking morning.

I couldn't sleep.
Franky's first day an' all that.

Should have phoned after college.
Had us worried sick.

Sorry. Totally my fault. Franks was
trying stuff to wear to my party.

Party? That's fucking brill!

Franky's going to a party, Geoff.
What did you try on, darling?

We got her make-up,
necklace and this.

She looked - oh, my God - amazing.

You so have to wear it.

Franky?

Um, sorry. She's still a bit fragile.

That, um, grief in Oxford, right?

You...you know about that?

Yeah, Franks told us everything.
Really tough, huh?

Yeah, it was.
Sorry, I need to check on dinner.

I'll be back in two shakes.

They got married in an army uniform.
Twisted or what?

Mini, that's naughty!

What the fuck?

Oh, my God, she's been fraped!

Come on, Mini, this isn't fair!

(GIGGLING) Yeah, but look at that one!

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

GEOFF: We do not lock doors
in this family.

It's the toilet.

Well, I haven't heard

any lavatorial what-have-yous
whatsoever, clever clogs.

Chin up. Your mates await!

JEFF: What the hell are you doing
looking at those?

LIV: Um, it... It just came on
when Grace brushed past it.

- GRACE: We're really, really sorry.
- MINI: We're friends.

JEFF: This is not fair. She had
a really shit time at the last school.

MINI: We were just looking.

JEFF: I don't care, this was a real...

What the fuck?!

I can't believe you looked at them!
Please don't say anything.

Please, promise. Promise me!

- GRACE: Yeah, Franky, we promise.
- LIV: Yes, Franky, of course.

Cross our hearts.

Bye.

Dicksplash!

Geoff, did you hear that?
She just called her dad ''dicksplash''.

Franky, only I can call Jeff that.

- Great, gold star for discipline(!)
- I was aiming for levity.

You need to start trusting.
No person is an island.

You're going to have to make
an effort this time.

Fuck off.

(# THIEVES LIKE US: Never Known Love)

(MOBILE RING TONE)

♪ Fire wins out over my self-doubt

♪ Her blue sea was seeking me

♪ Broken dreams were breaking me

♪ Swam into the deep blue sea

♪ Days were heavy with despair

♪ Broken dreams were breaking me

♪ Cherubs pushed for more and... ♪

(# HOWARD JONES: New Song)

♪ I've been waiting for so long

♪ To come here now and sing this song

♪ Oh, don't be fooled by what you see

♪ Don't be fooled by what you hear

♪ Oh... ♪

(GROWLING AND ROARING)

♪ ...Don't crack up

♪ Bend your brain

♪ See both sides

♪ Throw off your mental chains

♪ Oohl Oohl Oohl ♪

Freeze. You are not
ducking brekkie again.

Trick or treat?

Oh, bloody Nora.

Don't take the piss, all right?

You've just been a bit over-zealous,
that's all. Here, let me.

When I was your age, I bought myself
a Sergio Tacchini tracksuit

and a sovereign ring for every finger.

You wore sovereigns?

I even had a Playboy one.

I didn't get any more shit
off the estate after that,

but I developed so much testosterone,

I didn't know what to do.

So I joined the TA.

And when our eyes met
across the assault course,

he just couldn't deny me.

(# THE STRANGE BO YS:
You Can't Only Love When You Want To)

♪ I'm sure she was an angel

♪ Cos I've seen one before

♪ She said, let me
play a song that I know... ♪

Fuck me, Franky.

Pretty please with sugar on top.
Adoring the new you.

Yeah, it's well original, Franks.

- What's it called. Lidl La Roux?
- Mini...

I'm sorry, but you can't come
to my soiree like that.

Why?

Cos... Cos I mean, it looks like
she's been gang-raped by clowns!

What about that gorge dress I got you?

I didn't think it's...

Soz, don't speak mumble. What?

It isn't right.

Why not?

Come on, why not?

Do I look like a bulimic fucking Barbie?

(GIGGLING)

Shit.

I'm sorry.

Fine. It's fine.

See you guys in class.

Nick.

(WHISPERS)

And it was my cell-mate, Peter,
who taught me to read,

and it really helped block out
the flashbacks from that...

gruesome...night.

Who's this?

- Your mum?
- (GIGGLING)

No.

This is my mum, sandwiched
between Dickens and Nabokov.

This is the original punk -
Charlotte fucking BrontÑ'!

This is my ID. Do you get me?

Yeah?

Good.

Now, I asked you to prepare
and discuss to the class

whether choice truly shapes us.

Thank you, Richard,
please resume picking your hole.

Oi. Fresh meat.

You're up.

All right?

Um, yeah, so...

Fuck... Sorry.

No. Fuck is good. Fuck is poetic
expression for the unsayable soul.

Carry on.

Right. Yeah. So, er...

Fucking. Um... Yeah.

Basically if... If you can, like,

choose your identity cos...

I tried today

and now I feel, kind of, less like me

and I mean I'm not exactly over the moon

about being me in the first place,
but now...

Now I think...

I kind of like it less
than trying not to be me.

Um, cos I just want to, like,

just be.

Yes, we can!

Well done, Fitzgerald,

you just took a big dump on
the grave of Jean-Paul Sartre.

Sorry, Sir. Rugger practice, like,
overran and shit.

Your turn to pick up the soap, was it?

We use shower gel in the free world, sir.

Sit the fuck down, meatheads.

Next up...

(BELL RINGS)

(LAUGHTER AND CHATTER)

What's the big joke?

You...Franks.

Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.

I thought something like this might
happen. That's why I tried to help.

You promised.

Oh, Franks...

Franky...

Looks like someone won't be
coming to my party. Shame.

What?

Fuck you!

Fuck you all!

(CHEERING)

(TINNY GUNFIRE)

Fuck you, you bitches!

Fuck you!

Go!

Go away, please!

I said go away!

Is it real?

Do you want to find out?

It's a re-drilled replica.

It shoots bullets, OK?

Bullets for bitches?

What?

- Is this how you have fun?
- Can you just leave me alone?

Go on, then.

I don't have to take this shit any more.

No, you don't.

Bang.

You're beautiful.

No.

No, I'm not. I'm...

I'm a no-good shit-magnet.

I'm... I'm nothing.

So why do I see a...glorious
fucking head-fucked thing?

Who are you?

D... Don't...

See you around. Remember to aim
straight for the heart next time.

This is amazing!

Is it like Wallace & Gromit?

After the apocalypse.
How did you get in?

Your dad let me in. The old one.
He's lovely.

So...you've come
to take the piss some more?

No, Franky. I came to say sorry.

Sorry? For fucking up my life? Again?

That wasn't me, it was Nick.

Mini's boyfriend?

Doing her dirty work.

She's really sorry, Franky.

Bollocks.

She is.

I know she is.

Deep down. She just...doesn't know it yet.

We really like you, Franky.
Me, Liv and, um...

Have a great party.

I'm sorry you won't be going, Franky.

Yeah. So am I.

(# AEROPLANE: We Can't Fly)

What do you think?

Yeah. Me too.

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh

♪ We can't fly

♪ Come on, let's try

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh

♪ We're boys and girls

♪ Who rule the world

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh

♪ We can't fly... ♪

Let's go.

♪ ...Or kiss the sky... ♪

Now.

♪ ...So long, bye-bye... ♪

Now.

♪ ... We can't

♪ Oh, no, we can't

♪ We can't

♪ Oh, no, we can't

♪ We can't fly

♪ Or kiss

♪ The sky

♪ So long

♪ Bye-bye

♪ Come on

♪ Don't cry

♪ We

♪ We can't fly

♪ No, we can't... ♪

RICH: We don't have an invite, douche.

ALO: Fuck it, just be cool!

- Evening, me lovely.
- Don't think so, boys.

She's only a little chicken.

Rush on three.

One, two...

Don't fuck, lads.

BOTH: All right! All right!

Cor, you look sharp, Franks!

I could go gay for you, I reck.
She's a girl, you dick.

Fuck you.

You all right, little 'un?

Franky!

Come on. Fancy a spliff?

Thanks.

You'll look like a nun at a brothel
in there.

♪ G-L-A-M

♪ O-R-O-U-S

♪ G-L-A-M

♪ O-R-O-U-S

♪ We flying first class
Up in the sky

♪ Got the champagne
Livin' the life... ♪

Mini.

Franky, what the hell are you doing here?

I came because you,
uh, you invited me.

Well, now I'm uh-uh-un-inviting you,
Cinder-fella, so...leave.

I don't want...to.

No, I'm staying.

I'm... I'm not going anywhere.

F-R-E-A-K.
Now, what does that spell?

Let me see. Oh, yeah - you.

No wonder the girls at your old school
went ape-shit on your ass.

I mean, just...just look at you,
standing there like some...

Cuntless dyke-alike
no-breed stutter-fucker spako

lamo shit-headed wanker-magnet
Oliver Twist-ed thimble-titted

loser-Ioner fugly bastard?

I think you're great.

A billion miles better than this,

this bollocks place.

And I really feel...that,

that we could be mates...
fucking awesome mates.

- They're not your mates.
- (# BLONDIE: Heart Of Glass)

They're my mates.

We only let you tag along with us
for jokes.

That's not true.

Is it, Grace? That's not true.

Speak up, Gracie.

GRACE: Mini, please.

We had laughs, Liv, didn't we?

Must've been tripping, Frankenstein.

Now get the fuck out of my party.

That bad-mouthed lesbo's like
shit on my fucking stiletto.

Seriously, Mins,
this isn't Year 1 1 any more.

Where the fuck is Grace?

I take it madam had a delightful eventide.

Shit.

Franky! Come back!

Oi!

What the fuck?!

Get off me! Stop!
Agh, what are you doing?!

Let me out!

(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

Can you fucking put me down already?

This isn't funny. Fucking hell,
Rich, I'm gonna be sick.

Right. Are we ready, yeah?

What the fuck?

Welcome to Bristol, Franky.

This is my favourite place.

Cheers.

You fuckers!

(LAUGHTER)

(SHOUTING)

(# BRITISH SEA POWER:
We're All Waving Flags)

Gracie!

Come on, come on!

- Come on, Franky, get in here now!
- # You are astronomical

♪ Fans of alcohol

♪ So welcome in a rising in the east

♪ And setting in the west

♪ All waving flags

♪ We're all waving flags now

♪ Waving flags, but don't be scared

♪ You, you will be here

♪ For a little while

♪ And it's all a joke

♪ Oh, it's all a joke

♪ Oohhh...

♪ Beer is not dark

♪ Beer is not light

♪ It just tastes good... ♪

What do you do for fun, Rich?

Listen to music...

(YELLS) Liar!

...go to gigs...

...hang out with my mate Alo.

Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay!

Hi...

Um, er, um...your T-shirt...

You need someone to
teach you the ways of the woman.

♪ ...So welcome in

♪ We are Barbarians

♪ Oh, welcome in

♪ Cos we're Carpathians

♪ Oh, welcome in

♪ We are from Slavia

♪ Oh, welcome in

♪ Across the stadion

♪ So welcome in... ♪