Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 14 - Reality Really Bites - full transcript
Tia discovers just how boring her family life is when she videotapes them for a school project.
- I'm taking a film-making class
- after school.
- And there's this big
- competition for the best film.
And this time I'm going
to beat Rhonda coley.
- Okay, tamera, if you stay
- by the window
I can get a nice m.C.U.
- Oh, that's a medium close-up
- in the film biz.
Uh-huh.
Loving it...
Loving it...
Cut. Perfect.
One more time.
- If it's perfect,
- why do we have to do it again?
I, uh...
Forgot to put the tape in.
♪ Talk about a
two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew how
much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
- ♪ Never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
- and another
- thing, Walker...
Yeah? I'd like
to see you try!
Heh-heh.
Oh. Hi, Lisa.
Remember, ray:
Love thy neighbor.
I love thy neighbor.
I'd love thy neighbor
to move.
Are you and Bert Walker
- still fighting about that
- oak tree hanging in his yard?
What's the big deal?
Just trim the branch.
Just trim the branch?
It's part
of a living organism.
- How would you like somebody
- to trim one of your limbs?
- I wouldn't mind trimming
- my thighs.
With a chain saw?
If it'll do the trick.
"Just trim the branch."
That's how it starts, Lisa.
You cut a branch
and then a few trees
and then you cut a forest.
The next thing you know
- the entire ecosystem
- breaks down
- And our whole world
- has been destroyed
And Detroit becomes
a vast desert wasteland.
Coffee, ray?
No, no. I've already had
five or six cups.
Mm-hmm. No kidding.
Now, you and Walker
have been going on
about that tree for two years.
Yeah. You're right.
Well, I guess I should
just let it go, huh?
Mm-hmm. But you know
- the tree is not
- the real problem.
- The tree is just a symptom of a
- deeper problem between you two.
Like what?
Well, for instance
- the fact that he never returned
- your needle-nosed pliers.
You're right. He never did
return my pliers, did he?
And I needed them
the other day!
- I'm not through
- with you, Walker!
- Whoa, but ray.
- Now, you
Still have his ball peen hammer.
Oh. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Now as
a peace offering, why don't
you give the hammer back?
- Well, I would,
- but I need them to fix the thing
That I can't fix because
he has my needle-nosed pliers!
Will you stop it?
I feel like I'm on cops.
Oh, come on, tamera.
- Just pretend the camera
- isn't there.
That's the point.
- Say what you say
- to me normally
Only to the camera.
Okay. Well, get that camera
out of my face!
Tamera, that was good stuff!
It had conflict.
- You turn that camera
- back on
I'll show you conflict!
- Girls, girls,
- what's going on here?
- Well, I'm trying to make
- a documentary
- On the everyday life
- of my family
For my film-making class.
That's a great idea.
Who plays me?
You do, ma!
- Not when I don't
- have makeup on!
You look fine.
I see how whipped I look on
those security cameras at 7-11.
She doesn't understand
how a documentary works.
- I guess working
- with the camera
Takes some getting used to.
Great, ray! I'm glad you
understand the process!
Okay...
Ah, cut.
Yeah. You're right.
Let's take that again.
- I just wouldn't sit here and
- read the paper like this.
- I'd talk
- to my daughter.
Yes. Sit down.
Come on, Tia.
Hello, tamera Campbell...
My daughter...
How was your day today...
At Roosevelt high school?
Today's Saturday, dad.
Oh.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ah. Well, I think
that was better
don't you?
Tia, I really need
to talk to somebody.
Boy, am I depressed.
Oh, I'm so sorry, tamera.
- Well, you see,
- it's like this...
Wait! I'm not quite ready.
Okay. And, go.
Tia, will you turn
that thing off?!
I'm not talking to that camera!
My emotional distress
will not be fodder
for your little movie!
Fine. It's off.
Tia, I saw Jason Ellis
at the mall today.
- He doesn't even know
- I exist.
He's the cutest boy
- and I've done everything
- I can think of
To get his attention.
Tamera, this is great stuff!
Can I please just get
a little on tape?
No!
Tia, I am hurting here.
Now, excuse me
while I go upstairs
to sit in the dark,
alone, and sulk.
Ooh! Ooh! Are you
going to cry too?
Maybe.
Oh, come on, tamera!
The sunlight reflecting
off your tears would look great!
- Tia, if I decide
- to throw myself out the window
I'll call you!
Promise?!
Tia, I'm ready
for my love scene.
Stop it, Roger.
I'm very serious
about this project.
- You're serious
- about every project.
I know, but I really want
to get an "a"
and this film could help me
get a scholarship.
- You're always
- getting a's.
You'll get a scholarship to
any college in the country.
- Plus, Rhonda coley
- is my stiffest competition
And she dissed me
in home-ec yesterday.
Now, you're making sense.
I'll help you beat her.
She dissed me too.
She kicked me to the curb.
You'll be able to brush
her off, no problem.
Except I started
filming my family
and they weren't
very interesting.
I mean, Ray's a complete dud
and tamera won't let me film
her misery.
Why don't you
just make stuff up?
- Lisa:
- Tia, darling...
Down here, mom.
Hey...
Maybe all isn't lost.
I haven't filmed my mom yet
and if there's one person
you can count on
to be honest and natural
it's my mom.
Ah.
Tia, sweetheart...
Oh.
There you are.
How was your day?
Oh, my.
Is that young master Evans
with you?
- Oh, dear.
- What are you doing?
This is my good side.
This... this my good side.
Mom
you're being ridiculous.
You never acted like this
one day in your life.
Well, I can't work
in these conditions.
- If you need me,
- I'll be in my dressing room
Doing the laundry.
That love scene offer
still stands.
- Tia: So, Roger,
- what do you think?
- It didn't stink
- too bad.
- I know I'm not
- Steven Spielberg
But I'm sure it's as good
as anybody else in the class.
Oh. It's you. Rhonda.
Hi, Tia.
My VCR is broken.
Is it okay if I use yours
to screen my project?
Oh, sure, Rhonda.
I was just... screening mine.
Mm-hmm.
Hi, Rhonda.
I want you to know that
there are no hard feelings.
Who are you?
Anyways, my uncle
is a cop
with the Detroit P.D.
And he took me
on a ride-along.
- I haven't quite finished yet,
- so it's a little rough.
Narrator: Night in the city,
a Rhonda coley film
written, produced, and directed
and with a special appearance
by Rhonda coley.
Rhonda: Freeze!
You're under arrest, loser!
- Cop:
- Nice work, Rhonda.
Come on, punk.
You're going downtown.
- Narrator:
- This has been
A Rhonda coley production.
To find out more about Rhonda
send a self-addressed,
stamped envelope to box 506...
Wow, Rhonda.
That was great.
I know.
Your v.C.R. Wasn't really
broken, was it, Rhonda?
Of course not.
You just wanted to make
me feel bad, didn't you?
Well, my work here is done.
And we're done too.
What do you mean, "we?"
Oh, right. I lucked out.
You're done.
Roger, did you believe
the realism
in Rhonda's film?
You could almost taste
the streets
and feel the tension!
Man, why couldn't my family
get arrested or something?
Well, I don't know
about getting arrested
- but if you show that tape
- at school
- You'll become
- the object of ridicule
And that's no picnic.
Believe me. I should know.
Well, I guess I could
set up little situations
that would make them
seem more interesting.
Of course you could.
I mean, just enough
- to make their lives seem
- more entertaining.
Entertaining. That's good.
- I mean, there's absolutely
- nothing wrong with that...
- Nothing wrong
- with that at all.
- Because it's stuff
- that they would do anyway.
- Absolutely.
- They do it anyway.
So, they wouldn't mind
and if I get a good grade
- they would be so happy
- for me.
They'd be thrilled.
I knew it!
What was she talking about?
Ow.
Denise, what are you doing?
I'm shooting my movie, duh.
Well, the camera's
pointed at the ground.
- Well, where else
- am I supposed to point it
If I'm doing a documentary on
a day in the life of my feet?
It's called
my left and right foot.
Ow! Sorry. Excuse me.
Ow! Sorry.
Tia, you can film
and film and film
but I guarantee you
nothing interesting
is going to happen.
- Well, I don't
- know about that.
Okay, you're on, Jason.
Hi, tamera.
These are for you.
For me?
- Jason, I didn't even think
- you knew I existed.
Well, I didn't.
- I just found out
- you existed.
So, I was wondering
- if you'd like to
- hang sometime?
Yes.
- Maybe go peep
- a flick
Grab some burgers?
Yes.
All right.
How about Friday?
Yes.
You know what?
- Friday's no good,
- how about Saturday?
Yes.
- Saturday's no
- good either.
I'll call you.
Yes.
- Tia:
- Well, there you have it.
Cinderella has found
her prince charming
and like all royal couples
they'll probably peep a flick
at motown 27 cineplex
and we fade to black.
- Oh, that was so
- beautiful and touching.
- I can't wait
- to see what I get tomorrow.
- Yeah, yeah,
- blah, blah, blah.
- Now, give me
- my ten bucks.
Pay the man.
- Hello, Tia.
- I happen to be wearing
One of my original designs
available exclusively
at fashions by Lisa
- made of the finest
- Portuguese silk
In sizes petite
wide load."
Wait.
You didn't film that?
Well!
- Wow.
- She's doing infomercials now.
I know, but I think
I've found a way to distract her
so she'd act naturally.
What are you going to do?
Well, I know she's
deathly afraid of spiders
so, I'm going to
put this bad boy
on the floor.
Wow. Never seen
such a realistic-looking
rubber spider before.
Rubber? That is
a real tarantula.
Ah!
Roger!
I borrowed spanky
from Mr. Kutcher,
he loves him!
Spanky. Here, boy.
Here, boy,
here, boy.
- Tia, here's something
- for the film.
- I just made
- these wonderful petit fours
- To show
- what a great chef I am.
Oh, not now.
We're looking for a tarantula.
Tarantula?
- Yeah, it's a gigantic,
- hairy spider.
- Yeah, I know
- what a tarant...
This is perfect!
Get that stanky monster
out of here!
Whoops, missed it!
Beautiful, mom.
You're a natural.
- The camera
- loves you.
- You know,
- I don't think
This house is big enough
for the both of us.
He wins.
Come on, Roger.
- We're going
- on location.
Wait till
Rhonda sees this.
She thinks she's all that
and a side of skinny fries.
Yeah, skinny fries.
But you know what, Roger?
We're missing something.
- Yeah. What are
- we missing?
Well, I'm getting romance
with tamera
and comedy with my mom.
Especially when she got scared
and shinnied up the oak tree.
The oak tree.
- Roger, I think
- I've just come up
With our action sequence.
- You know how ray
- and Mr. Walker next door
Are having that feud
about the tree?
Well, why not
turn up the heat
and capture it on film?
Good idea.
How are we going to heat it up?
Well, we just send Mr. Walker
a little note from ray.
Oh, Tia, there you are.
I was thinking
you need a little more
action in your movie.
I was too, ray.
I've been rather dull
- and that's not like me,
- so I picked up
The complete works
of Robert frost.
I thought I'd do a little
reading for your camera.
What was your idea?
- I'll tell you
- later, ray.
Oh, Walker, it's you.
So, Campbell,
"sap for brains," am I?
"Tree murderer," huh?
- Look, I don't know
- what you're talking about
- And furthermore,
- I don't care.
- And another thing,
- Walker...
Ow!
I think you broke my nose.
And let that be a lesson to you.
So, what do you
think, Roger?
It's great, Tia.
I'll tell you
what I think.
I think I went too far.
Why do you say that?
That Walker.
- I just came back
- from my attorney.
- I don't care if
- it takes ten years.
- I'm going to
- own his house
And all the leaves
that my tree drop on it.
That'll teach him to
punch me in the nose.
I don't think he needs
to be taught, Mr. Campbell.
Uh, gee, ray... lawsuit?
That's kind of drastic.
You hit him too.
Well, he hit me first.
- Uh, ray, there's something
- I should tell you.
Okay, everybody I'm going
to set off this bug bomb
and that means we'll just
have to leave the house
for two or three days.
I smell a sequel.
Mom, I'm pretty sure
the spider's already gone.
Hi. Did Jason call?
Uh, no, he didn't.
I don't get it.
- I mean, he
- doesn't call
- And when I pass him
- in the hallway
I can't even buy
a look from him.
Don't be so sure.
Uh, you know, tamera
maybe you shouldn't
get your hopes up.
Oh, he'll call.
I know he'll call.
After all...
He gave me these.
Tamera...
Um, he won't be calling you.
Looks like there's a little
sibling jealousy going on.
- I paid Jason
- to bring you those flowers
And pretend
that he likes you.
You did?
Oh, man!
Tia, how could you
do something so mean
- without me doing something
- mean to you first?
Yeah, Tia, how could you
do such a thing?
It was for my film.
And... for the same reason
I sent that nasty
note to Mr. Walker
and... signed your
name to it, ray.
What?! Aw, man!
Well, I better get going.
- I hear my
- mother calling.
- I don't hear
- your mother.
Well, she's got that voice
- that can only be heard
- by me and dogs.
Hmm? There she is again,
and she's mad. Bye.
Ooh, we got to evacuate.
What?
- I saw a tarantula,
- and I panicked.
- I threw the bug bomb at it,
- it went off.
- I wish you girls
- would stop leaving
These scrunchies around.
Let's go, let's go.
- Come on,
- let's go, let's go.
Mom, uh...
- I guess I should
- have told you sooner, but...
I found that tarantula
a couple of days ago
and returned it
to the science teacher.
- You let me run around
- for two days like a crazy woman
Wearing hip boots,
killing scrunchies?
But the comedy made my
film more interesting.
- I thought this was supposed
- to be a film
- About the way
- we really are.
Well, it started out that way
but you guys are way too...
Boring.
- In the cinematic sense,
- of course.
Besides, I mean, it's all stuff
- that would have happened
- naturally
If it naturally happened.
- Look, you guys, I'm really sorry
- for what I did
But it was all for a good cause.
I'm going to get an "a".
Well, good for you.
- I'm not sure
- I like this company anymore.
That's right, Tia.
You've done this family
a great disservice.
I know that sounds stiff,
but you can fix it in editing.
- I'm very disappointed
- in you, Tia.
Very disappointed.
Could you guys
hold those expressions
until I get my camera?
Never mind.
I would like to thank
the brave men and women
of the Detroit police department
and all those bad guys
who made my film possible.
Excellent film, Rhonda
and that was a great collar.
- You guys, why
- are we even here
- After the way
- she treated us?
- Well, she is
- your sister.
That's right.
- We're all family now,
- right or wrong.
- We all stick
- by each other.
I'm proud of Tia,
no matter what.
Hello. I'm Lynette coley,
Rhonda's mother.
Tia's your daughter,
isn't she?
Tia who?
Okay, our next film
is by Tia Landry
entitled my so-called family.
Hi. I'm Tia Landry.
I shot this really cool film
about my family.
However, it's not what you're
going to see this evening.
What you're going to see
probably isn't a very good film
and Rhonda, you can wipe
that stupid smirk off your face.
I started to make a film about
the daily life of my family
and what I wound up doing
really hurt them.
I twisted reality
for my own selfish purposes
and I'm really sorry.
You see, my family isn't about
doing exciting
or ridiculous things.
It's people
who care about each other
and just do normal things.
I know it looks dull
but what's hard
to capture on film
is how we treat each other
and love each other
and even if I get a "c"
on this project, it's okay
because I'll always get
an "a" from my family
and the most important thing is
we forgive each other
if we do stupid things.
You guys...
Will forgive me, won't you?
( Audience
( murmuring encouragement )
We forgive you.
Hello. We haven't met.
I'm Tia's mother.
Okay, it's time
to announce the winner
of the Roosevelt high school
film festival.
Sorry, Tia.
You're not really
sorry, are you?
No.
And the winner is...
Denise mondello
for my left and right foot.
Sorry, Rhonda.
You're not really sorry,
are you?
No.
- after school.
- And there's this big
- competition for the best film.
And this time I'm going
to beat Rhonda coley.
- Okay, tamera, if you stay
- by the window
I can get a nice m.C.U.
- Oh, that's a medium close-up
- in the film biz.
Uh-huh.
Loving it...
Loving it...
Cut. Perfect.
One more time.
- If it's perfect,
- why do we have to do it again?
I, uh...
Forgot to put the tape in.
♪ Talk about a
two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew how
much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
- ♪ Never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
- and another
- thing, Walker...
Yeah? I'd like
to see you try!
Heh-heh.
Oh. Hi, Lisa.
Remember, ray:
Love thy neighbor.
I love thy neighbor.
I'd love thy neighbor
to move.
Are you and Bert Walker
- still fighting about that
- oak tree hanging in his yard?
What's the big deal?
Just trim the branch.
Just trim the branch?
It's part
of a living organism.
- How would you like somebody
- to trim one of your limbs?
- I wouldn't mind trimming
- my thighs.
With a chain saw?
If it'll do the trick.
"Just trim the branch."
That's how it starts, Lisa.
You cut a branch
and then a few trees
and then you cut a forest.
The next thing you know
- the entire ecosystem
- breaks down
- And our whole world
- has been destroyed
And Detroit becomes
a vast desert wasteland.
Coffee, ray?
No, no. I've already had
five or six cups.
Mm-hmm. No kidding.
Now, you and Walker
have been going on
about that tree for two years.
Yeah. You're right.
Well, I guess I should
just let it go, huh?
Mm-hmm. But you know
- the tree is not
- the real problem.
- The tree is just a symptom of a
- deeper problem between you two.
Like what?
Well, for instance
- the fact that he never returned
- your needle-nosed pliers.
You're right. He never did
return my pliers, did he?
And I needed them
the other day!
- I'm not through
- with you, Walker!
- Whoa, but ray.
- Now, you
Still have his ball peen hammer.
Oh. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Now as
a peace offering, why don't
you give the hammer back?
- Well, I would,
- but I need them to fix the thing
That I can't fix because
he has my needle-nosed pliers!
Will you stop it?
I feel like I'm on cops.
Oh, come on, tamera.
- Just pretend the camera
- isn't there.
That's the point.
- Say what you say
- to me normally
Only to the camera.
Okay. Well, get that camera
out of my face!
Tamera, that was good stuff!
It had conflict.
- You turn that camera
- back on
I'll show you conflict!
- Girls, girls,
- what's going on here?
- Well, I'm trying to make
- a documentary
- On the everyday life
- of my family
For my film-making class.
That's a great idea.
Who plays me?
You do, ma!
- Not when I don't
- have makeup on!
You look fine.
I see how whipped I look on
those security cameras at 7-11.
She doesn't understand
how a documentary works.
- I guess working
- with the camera
Takes some getting used to.
Great, ray! I'm glad you
understand the process!
Okay...
Ah, cut.
Yeah. You're right.
Let's take that again.
- I just wouldn't sit here and
- read the paper like this.
- I'd talk
- to my daughter.
Yes. Sit down.
Come on, Tia.
Hello, tamera Campbell...
My daughter...
How was your day today...
At Roosevelt high school?
Today's Saturday, dad.
Oh.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ah. Well, I think
that was better
don't you?
Tia, I really need
to talk to somebody.
Boy, am I depressed.
Oh, I'm so sorry, tamera.
- Well, you see,
- it's like this...
Wait! I'm not quite ready.
Okay. And, go.
Tia, will you turn
that thing off?!
I'm not talking to that camera!
My emotional distress
will not be fodder
for your little movie!
Fine. It's off.
Tia, I saw Jason Ellis
at the mall today.
- He doesn't even know
- I exist.
He's the cutest boy
- and I've done everything
- I can think of
To get his attention.
Tamera, this is great stuff!
Can I please just get
a little on tape?
No!
Tia, I am hurting here.
Now, excuse me
while I go upstairs
to sit in the dark,
alone, and sulk.
Ooh! Ooh! Are you
going to cry too?
Maybe.
Oh, come on, tamera!
The sunlight reflecting
off your tears would look great!
- Tia, if I decide
- to throw myself out the window
I'll call you!
Promise?!
Tia, I'm ready
for my love scene.
Stop it, Roger.
I'm very serious
about this project.
- You're serious
- about every project.
I know, but I really want
to get an "a"
and this film could help me
get a scholarship.
- You're always
- getting a's.
You'll get a scholarship to
any college in the country.
- Plus, Rhonda coley
- is my stiffest competition
And she dissed me
in home-ec yesterday.
Now, you're making sense.
I'll help you beat her.
She dissed me too.
She kicked me to the curb.
You'll be able to brush
her off, no problem.
Except I started
filming my family
and they weren't
very interesting.
I mean, Ray's a complete dud
and tamera won't let me film
her misery.
Why don't you
just make stuff up?
- Lisa:
- Tia, darling...
Down here, mom.
Hey...
Maybe all isn't lost.
I haven't filmed my mom yet
and if there's one person
you can count on
to be honest and natural
it's my mom.
Ah.
Tia, sweetheart...
Oh.
There you are.
How was your day?
Oh, my.
Is that young master Evans
with you?
- Oh, dear.
- What are you doing?
This is my good side.
This... this my good side.
Mom
you're being ridiculous.
You never acted like this
one day in your life.
Well, I can't work
in these conditions.
- If you need me,
- I'll be in my dressing room
Doing the laundry.
That love scene offer
still stands.
- Tia: So, Roger,
- what do you think?
- It didn't stink
- too bad.
- I know I'm not
- Steven Spielberg
But I'm sure it's as good
as anybody else in the class.
Oh. It's you. Rhonda.
Hi, Tia.
My VCR is broken.
Is it okay if I use yours
to screen my project?
Oh, sure, Rhonda.
I was just... screening mine.
Mm-hmm.
Hi, Rhonda.
I want you to know that
there are no hard feelings.
Who are you?
Anyways, my uncle
is a cop
with the Detroit P.D.
And he took me
on a ride-along.
- I haven't quite finished yet,
- so it's a little rough.
Narrator: Night in the city,
a Rhonda coley film
written, produced, and directed
and with a special appearance
by Rhonda coley.
Rhonda: Freeze!
You're under arrest, loser!
- Cop:
- Nice work, Rhonda.
Come on, punk.
You're going downtown.
- Narrator:
- This has been
A Rhonda coley production.
To find out more about Rhonda
send a self-addressed,
stamped envelope to box 506...
Wow, Rhonda.
That was great.
I know.
Your v.C.R. Wasn't really
broken, was it, Rhonda?
Of course not.
You just wanted to make
me feel bad, didn't you?
Well, my work here is done.
And we're done too.
What do you mean, "we?"
Oh, right. I lucked out.
You're done.
Roger, did you believe
the realism
in Rhonda's film?
You could almost taste
the streets
and feel the tension!
Man, why couldn't my family
get arrested or something?
Well, I don't know
about getting arrested
- but if you show that tape
- at school
- You'll become
- the object of ridicule
And that's no picnic.
Believe me. I should know.
Well, I guess I could
set up little situations
that would make them
seem more interesting.
Of course you could.
I mean, just enough
- to make their lives seem
- more entertaining.
Entertaining. That's good.
- I mean, there's absolutely
- nothing wrong with that...
- Nothing wrong
- with that at all.
- Because it's stuff
- that they would do anyway.
- Absolutely.
- They do it anyway.
So, they wouldn't mind
and if I get a good grade
- they would be so happy
- for me.
They'd be thrilled.
I knew it!
What was she talking about?
Ow.
Denise, what are you doing?
I'm shooting my movie, duh.
Well, the camera's
pointed at the ground.
- Well, where else
- am I supposed to point it
If I'm doing a documentary on
a day in the life of my feet?
It's called
my left and right foot.
Ow! Sorry. Excuse me.
Ow! Sorry.
Tia, you can film
and film and film
but I guarantee you
nothing interesting
is going to happen.
- Well, I don't
- know about that.
Okay, you're on, Jason.
Hi, tamera.
These are for you.
For me?
- Jason, I didn't even think
- you knew I existed.
Well, I didn't.
- I just found out
- you existed.
So, I was wondering
- if you'd like to
- hang sometime?
Yes.
- Maybe go peep
- a flick
Grab some burgers?
Yes.
All right.
How about Friday?
Yes.
You know what?
- Friday's no good,
- how about Saturday?
Yes.
- Saturday's no
- good either.
I'll call you.
Yes.
- Tia:
- Well, there you have it.
Cinderella has found
her prince charming
and like all royal couples
they'll probably peep a flick
at motown 27 cineplex
and we fade to black.
- Oh, that was so
- beautiful and touching.
- I can't wait
- to see what I get tomorrow.
- Yeah, yeah,
- blah, blah, blah.
- Now, give me
- my ten bucks.
Pay the man.
- Hello, Tia.
- I happen to be wearing
One of my original designs
available exclusively
at fashions by Lisa
- made of the finest
- Portuguese silk
In sizes petite
wide load."
Wait.
You didn't film that?
Well!
- Wow.
- She's doing infomercials now.
I know, but I think
I've found a way to distract her
so she'd act naturally.
What are you going to do?
Well, I know she's
deathly afraid of spiders
so, I'm going to
put this bad boy
on the floor.
Wow. Never seen
such a realistic-looking
rubber spider before.
Rubber? That is
a real tarantula.
Ah!
Roger!
I borrowed spanky
from Mr. Kutcher,
he loves him!
Spanky. Here, boy.
Here, boy,
here, boy.
- Tia, here's something
- for the film.
- I just made
- these wonderful petit fours
- To show
- what a great chef I am.
Oh, not now.
We're looking for a tarantula.
Tarantula?
- Yeah, it's a gigantic,
- hairy spider.
- Yeah, I know
- what a tarant...
This is perfect!
Get that stanky monster
out of here!
Whoops, missed it!
Beautiful, mom.
You're a natural.
- The camera
- loves you.
- You know,
- I don't think
This house is big enough
for the both of us.
He wins.
Come on, Roger.
- We're going
- on location.
Wait till
Rhonda sees this.
She thinks she's all that
and a side of skinny fries.
Yeah, skinny fries.
But you know what, Roger?
We're missing something.
- Yeah. What are
- we missing?
Well, I'm getting romance
with tamera
and comedy with my mom.
Especially when she got scared
and shinnied up the oak tree.
The oak tree.
- Roger, I think
- I've just come up
With our action sequence.
- You know how ray
- and Mr. Walker next door
Are having that feud
about the tree?
Well, why not
turn up the heat
and capture it on film?
Good idea.
How are we going to heat it up?
Well, we just send Mr. Walker
a little note from ray.
Oh, Tia, there you are.
I was thinking
you need a little more
action in your movie.
I was too, ray.
I've been rather dull
- and that's not like me,
- so I picked up
The complete works
of Robert frost.
I thought I'd do a little
reading for your camera.
What was your idea?
- I'll tell you
- later, ray.
Oh, Walker, it's you.
So, Campbell,
"sap for brains," am I?
"Tree murderer," huh?
- Look, I don't know
- what you're talking about
- And furthermore,
- I don't care.
- And another thing,
- Walker...
Ow!
I think you broke my nose.
And let that be a lesson to you.
So, what do you
think, Roger?
It's great, Tia.
I'll tell you
what I think.
I think I went too far.
Why do you say that?
That Walker.
- I just came back
- from my attorney.
- I don't care if
- it takes ten years.
- I'm going to
- own his house
And all the leaves
that my tree drop on it.
That'll teach him to
punch me in the nose.
I don't think he needs
to be taught, Mr. Campbell.
Uh, gee, ray... lawsuit?
That's kind of drastic.
You hit him too.
Well, he hit me first.
- Uh, ray, there's something
- I should tell you.
Okay, everybody I'm going
to set off this bug bomb
and that means we'll just
have to leave the house
for two or three days.
I smell a sequel.
Mom, I'm pretty sure
the spider's already gone.
Hi. Did Jason call?
Uh, no, he didn't.
I don't get it.
- I mean, he
- doesn't call
- And when I pass him
- in the hallway
I can't even buy
a look from him.
Don't be so sure.
Uh, you know, tamera
maybe you shouldn't
get your hopes up.
Oh, he'll call.
I know he'll call.
After all...
He gave me these.
Tamera...
Um, he won't be calling you.
Looks like there's a little
sibling jealousy going on.
- I paid Jason
- to bring you those flowers
And pretend
that he likes you.
You did?
Oh, man!
Tia, how could you
do something so mean
- without me doing something
- mean to you first?
Yeah, Tia, how could you
do such a thing?
It was for my film.
And... for the same reason
I sent that nasty
note to Mr. Walker
and... signed your
name to it, ray.
What?! Aw, man!
Well, I better get going.
- I hear my
- mother calling.
- I don't hear
- your mother.
Well, she's got that voice
- that can only be heard
- by me and dogs.
Hmm? There she is again,
and she's mad. Bye.
Ooh, we got to evacuate.
What?
- I saw a tarantula,
- and I panicked.
- I threw the bug bomb at it,
- it went off.
- I wish you girls
- would stop leaving
These scrunchies around.
Let's go, let's go.
- Come on,
- let's go, let's go.
Mom, uh...
- I guess I should
- have told you sooner, but...
I found that tarantula
a couple of days ago
and returned it
to the science teacher.
- You let me run around
- for two days like a crazy woman
Wearing hip boots,
killing scrunchies?
But the comedy made my
film more interesting.
- I thought this was supposed
- to be a film
- About the way
- we really are.
Well, it started out that way
but you guys are way too...
Boring.
- In the cinematic sense,
- of course.
Besides, I mean, it's all stuff
- that would have happened
- naturally
If it naturally happened.
- Look, you guys, I'm really sorry
- for what I did
But it was all for a good cause.
I'm going to get an "a".
Well, good for you.
- I'm not sure
- I like this company anymore.
That's right, Tia.
You've done this family
a great disservice.
I know that sounds stiff,
but you can fix it in editing.
- I'm very disappointed
- in you, Tia.
Very disappointed.
Could you guys
hold those expressions
until I get my camera?
Never mind.
I would like to thank
the brave men and women
of the Detroit police department
and all those bad guys
who made my film possible.
Excellent film, Rhonda
and that was a great collar.
- You guys, why
- are we even here
- After the way
- she treated us?
- Well, she is
- your sister.
That's right.
- We're all family now,
- right or wrong.
- We all stick
- by each other.
I'm proud of Tia,
no matter what.
Hello. I'm Lynette coley,
Rhonda's mother.
Tia's your daughter,
isn't she?
Tia who?
Okay, our next film
is by Tia Landry
entitled my so-called family.
Hi. I'm Tia Landry.
I shot this really cool film
about my family.
However, it's not what you're
going to see this evening.
What you're going to see
probably isn't a very good film
and Rhonda, you can wipe
that stupid smirk off your face.
I started to make a film about
the daily life of my family
and what I wound up doing
really hurt them.
I twisted reality
for my own selfish purposes
and I'm really sorry.
You see, my family isn't about
doing exciting
or ridiculous things.
It's people
who care about each other
and just do normal things.
I know it looks dull
but what's hard
to capture on film
is how we treat each other
and love each other
and even if I get a "c"
on this project, it's okay
because I'll always get
an "a" from my family
and the most important thing is
we forgive each other
if we do stupid things.
You guys...
Will forgive me, won't you?
( Audience
( murmuring encouragement )
We forgive you.
Hello. We haven't met.
I'm Tia's mother.
Okay, it's time
to announce the winner
of the Roosevelt high school
film festival.
Sorry, Tia.
You're not really
sorry, are you?
No.
And the winner is...
Denise mondello
for my left and right foot.
Sorry, Rhonda.
You're not really sorry,
are you?
No.