Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 13 - Double Double Date - full transcript

- There's this really cool
- date party Friday night

And I'm possibly

one of the few people in school

who won't be there.

Oh, come on, Tia.

Don't give up yet.

- There's a lot of guys out there
- you can hook up with.

You know, you're right!

- There is this really cute guy - in my
chemistry class - Who I think likes me.

- His name's Kevin toussant.
- Do you know him?

Kevin's my date.



Do you guys know anybody?

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew how

much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go! ♪

♪ Never knew

how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go ♪

Ah! Lisa, what are you doing?



Making out my will.

It's only bunion surgery.

- I know,
- but you can't be too careful.

- Oh, by the way,
- I'm leaving you the house.

It is my house.

Lisa, bunion surgery's

a very minor procedure.

Oh, well, maybe you're right.

They just put you under,

slice open your foot

- break your toes
- in about three places

- Reposition it and stitch
- it right back up.

-Oh, is that it?

-Yeah.

Ray, you get my caddie too.

Hey, ma, did anybody call me?

Oh, you got a message

from Bobby and Roger

and Roger and Roger.

He must have you on speed dial.

Mom, but none of

those people are Shawn.

- Honey, I know
- you're holding out

- Waiting for Shawn
- to ask you to the party

- But, well, finding a guy is
- like picking out a cantaloupe.

- You can thump them,
- you can squeeze them

And you can smell them

- but you always end up
- taking that rotten one home.

Mom, where's this going?

I want to give you

as much advice as I can

before I leave this earth.

Mom, it's only bunion surgery.

You sound like ray.

- Yeah, and i'm
- getting the caddie.

Since I don't have a date,

can I cover for you

at the cart?

- Oh, no honey,
- that's all right.

- My friend Susan,
- she's gonna cover for me.

Boy, am I pathetic.

- I can't even get a date
- with a cart!

- I don't know why you didn't
- ask me to cover for you.

I was quite the salesman

when I was in college.

Really, ray? What did you sell?

Women's shoes.

In fact, at the store

they used to refer to me

as "the clog king."

Just when I thought you

couldn't get more exciting

you prove me right.

Well, thank you.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Look at the way

Shawn eats a burrito.

Yeah...

Hey forget Shawn.

You have Kevin.

I'm not interested in Shawn.

I just want that burrito.

- Tamera, this isn't
- going to work.

- He hasn't looked
- over here once.

So, Tia, are you

desperate enough

to go to the party with me yet?

Look outside, are pigs flying?

Whoo!

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

- I'm going to be looking
- pretty good around party time.

Hey, look,

there's Rhonda coley.

- I just heard she broke up
- with her boyfriend,

- And you know girls
- on the rebound are vulnerable.

Okay, Ernie, give me some room.

Hi, Rhonda.

- I'm Roger, and I'm desperate
- for female companionship.

- Don't talk about
- yourself that way.

How could a sweet,

good-looking guy like

you be desperate?

Well, basically,

it's because i'm... what?

Excuse me for a moment.

Ernie, what do I do?

- I never been in
- this position before.

I don't know.

- I've never gotten that far,
- either.

Okay.

Do you want to go

to Bryan foster's

party with me?

I would love to go with you.

'Course you would, sweet thing.

Later.

Hey, Tia, guess what?

Pigs just flew.

In fact, they broke

the sound barrier.

Roger got a date?

Man, now there's nobody

at school worse off than me.

Tia, that's not true.

- There are those frogs
- we hack up in biology class.

- -Hey, Bobby.
- -Hi.

Hi. Uh, Tia, I was

wondering if you'd

- like to go with me
- to Bryan's party.

- -Well...
- -Of course!

- I'm sorry. I thought
- you were Tia.

She is!

- So what time should
- I pick you up?

7:30.

I'm so excited.

I think my asthma's gone away.

- I don't even need
- this inhaler anymore.

So, what should I wear?

What are you asking me for?

- I don't want to get
- involved in your life.

- Well, maybe this
- won't be too bad.

- I mean, I should
- give him a chance.

And come to think of it

we probably have a lot

in common.

- Hey! We're in French
- class together.

- So what if he's not Shawn...
- I'm over him anyway.

Hi, Tia.

Would you like to go

- to Bryan foster's
- party with me?

Yes!!

- Okay. Well, I'll
- see you at 7:30.

Uh... was that me

who just said that stupid thing

or was that you again?

Oh, no, I can't take

credit for that one.

That was you.

Congratulations.

Great! This morning

I had no date

and now I've got two!

Well, Tia, there's only one

mature, intelligent

thing you can do.

Break my date with Shawn?

No, are you nuts?

Cut Bobby loose.

Tamera I can't do that.

He's got asthma.

I mean, it's one thing

to hurt his feelings

but to kill him?

Tamera, that would be wrong.

Yeah, you're right.

- But, Tia,
- what are you going to do?

You have two dates.

Oh, wait a minute, Tia.

- You got that "you be me" look
- in your eyes.

- Ray, my friend Susan,
- she had to cancel

- So I'll take you up
- on your kind, generous offer.

Lisa, don't you know an empty

gesture when you hear one?

Well, I guess not,

Mr. Clog king.

- Yeah, well,
- don't let it bother you

- That I have to close up my cart
- and lose a day's profits.

It's okay. Tia doesn't need

to go to college.

There are plenty

of aluminum cans

on the side of the highway.

- I'll just run right down
- and pick them all up...

Okay, okay,

I'll work your dumb cart.

Stand up, stand up.

- Come on! Come on! Let's pretend
- that I'm a customer

And I would like to see

a delightful

Lisa Landry original.

Okay, uh...

Madam, may I interest

you in this dress?

Mmm... I hate it. It's ugly.

It looks like an Afghan.

Oh...

Trust me. I can work your cart.

You're insufferable.

- You can't talk
- to the customer like that.

I want to talk to the manager.

And what's your name?

Tamera, was Kevin hurt

when you told him

you had to break your date?

- No. I didn't want
- to hurt his feelings

- So I told him I had a bad case
- of the ebola virus.

Hey! I just rented outbreak.

- Remember, tonight you're
- not you, you're me

- So stay away from me
- and don't be you, be me.

So, you're talking

to me, tamera.

No, I'm talking to me, Tia.

Oh, yeah...

- It's Shawn!
- Okay, you wait here for Bobby.

Hi, Tia. Well, you look great.

Why wouldn't I? I'm me.

What?

Uh, nothing. Let's go.

Bonsoir, Tia.

- Hey, I just saw
- Shawn with tamera.

- I thought she was going out
- with Kevin.

Oh, well, she's very popular.

In fact, if I weren't me...

Tia... I'd want to be tamera.

What a great kid.

And then I blocked

the field goal

and we won, 10-7.

Pretty amazing, huh?

Yeah, it's pretty amazing

how much time you spend

talking about football.

- Well, football's
- pretty amazing.

- Know something else
- that's amazing?

- Did you see the pbs special
- on the dolphins?

They're endangered, you know.

- I don't know...
- If Marino stays healthy

- And their secondary
- comes around

I think the dolphins

have a pretty good shot

at the playoffs.

Tia, vous etes

tres belle ce soir.

You're talking funny.

What, are you having

a stroke or something?

No. I just said you look

really pretty tonight.

Gosh, you speak French

so tres bien in class.

Oh... right!

But you see, after school

I like to put

my brain on "pause."

- So, do you want to dance,
- s'il vous plait?

Uh... si.

Yo... plait.

Oh!

Tia, what are you

doing in here?

Tamera, I made a big mistake.

I want my Bobby back.

- Shawn and I have absolutely
- nothing in common.

- You're better at breaking
- up with guys than I am.

- So would you switch clothes
- with me

- And pretend to be me
- and break up with Shawn?

Alright, but you need

to get your private life

together, babe.

Tia, this is

a little big on me.

Have you gained some weight?

No, but I'm about to lose

110 needless pounds of twin.

Sor-ry!

- Go break up with Shawn,
- but be sweet

- Because you're representing me,
- remember.

Yeah, yeah... sweet.

- Hey Tia, I was looking
- all over for you.

Well! Here I am... me.

Comment allez-vous?

- Hey! You took
- your brain off "pause."

- -Huh?
- -I guess not.

Shawn there's something

I have to tell you.

- There's something I have
- to tell you too, Tia.

- Well, this could hurt... - So you better
- Put on your helmet.

- You are the prettiest
- girl in school.

Really?

- Yeah. So what did you
- want to tell me?

Uh... nothing! Go on

with your thoughts.

Hey, Ernie. Check out

who I'm dancing with.

- You mean who you were
- dancing with.

Hey, Rhonda, I'm over here.

- I was checking out
- some other guys. Do you mind?

Get me a soda.

Okay.

She's crazy about me.

A can?

Where are we, the woods?

Sorry.

She's got class too.

You know, Tia,

when we first got here

you seemed, uh, different

but now we're

getting along great.

Yeah, um... I'm hypoglycemic,

and sometimes it makes me goofy

but now that I had some punch,

I'm feeling tres bien.

Well, uh, do you want

to go out again?

Yes! I would love to go out

with you again.

Oh! Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Excuse me.

- Look, tamera,
- I really like Bobby

And I want to make sure

everything went

smoothly with Shawn.

- -It went great.
- -Terrific.

You guys are going steady.

Pretty amazing, huh?

- Hey, Tia! Where have
- you been all day?

- In the library,
- hiding from the guy I like

- And the guy you made me
- go steady with.

In the library?

Oh, man, that's horrible.

Tia, I'm sorry.

I just can't break up

with Shawn.

I like him.

Well, then, date him as you.

He doesn't like me as me.

He likes me as me as you,

so get used to it.

We're his woman.

Ah... "a mon amour..."

Oh, Bobby!

- Hey, Tia, I brought you
- my letter jacket.

Hey, where'd you get these?

Look, if some other guy

is trying to hit on you

- I'm gonna hunt him
- down like a dog

- And he's gonna wish
- that he was never born.

Um... these are from my mom.

Oh, well...

She's okay, then.

Oh, ray. I want to thank you

for working my cart today.

You are a real,

true, special friend.

Don't mention it, Lisa.

Mmm... you are sweet

and generous and kind

and wonderful.

Okay, Lisa.

I'm so touched.

I'm so overwhelmed.

So heavily medicated.

Yeah.

Well, I'll see you later.

- Look, don't worry
- about a thing.

I've got everything

under control. You are covered.

- What floor is that cart
- on again?

Second.

Oh, yeah. Right, right, right.

I think.

- Hey, ma, can I
- get you anything?

Ooh, no, honey, I'm fine.

But how about you?

You never told me

how your date went.

Ah, don't ask.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

- Don't worry... you'll find
- another boyfriend.

Mom, I have two boyfriends.

See? What did I just tell you?

Mom, I don't want

two boyfriends.

Well, why not?

In my pre-bunion days, huh!

I handled more than that.

Two is no problem.

Just get yourself

one of those filofaxes.

- Aren't you're supposed
- to tell me

- Be honest with the boy - I don't want
- And not lead them on?

- Oh. Oh, yeah.
- That's what I meant to say.

Yeah. That's right.

- But it's this medication
- talking, honey, you know.

- Now that my mind is clear,
- I can give you some sage advice

And that advice is to never,

never forget... mmm.

Thanks, mom.

You've probably heard

of my company

Ray's limos for less.

Not really.

- Well, I'm just helping
- out a friend.

She had bunion surgery

and she's home recuperating.

- Got a big boot thing
- on her foot.

Look, all I asked is

does this come in size 16?

I don't know.

Well...

Ray! Ray... ray Campbell!

It's James... James Jackson.

- We went to high school
- together, remember?

Well... yeah!

The tool monitor in woodshop.

- Yeah, and you were
- class president.

Voted "most likely to succeed."

Always talked about

owning your own business.

And here you are!

Congratulations.

No, no, no.

I do own my own business.

I can see that

and it's a nice cart.

- No, no. I'm just
- doing this temporarily

- -helping out a friend.
- -Oh, I understand.

- See, I started at a cart, too...
- Selling cleaning supplies.

Now I own my own

janitorial company.

So you hang on in there, ray.

And I tell you what...

- This stuff,
- it looks pretty good.

- Why don't you let me
- help you out?

I'll buy a hat for the wife.

Don't do that.

No, I want to.

I'll take this hat here

and this scarf.

No no. I can't let you do that.

Ray I want to do that for you..

- -No. I can't.
- -Mr. Campbell?

Excuse me. Miss Lewis!

How are you?

Mr. Campbell I haven't seen you

since you provided all those

limos for my company picnic.

So, uh, you shopping

for someone special?

Me? No, I'm just browsing here.

- Well, I guess I've seen
- everything here to see.

Got to get.

- Excuse me, ray.
- Can you do alterations?

You're working here?

- Uh, no. I'm just helping
- out a friend.

She had bunion surgery.

Oh, I see.

Play along.

He needs the business.

You know, my sister's

birthday's coming up.

- Maybe I'll take
- a couple of dresses

- And throw in five
- or six purses.

Look, I've been trying to...

- Did you say "five
- or six purses"?

That's right, and maybe

some of those scarves too.

- Let me show you
- a few of these necklaces.

- Maybe you'll want
- six or seven of these.

Well, um, sure.

Yeah, look at that.

- If I had more customers
- like you

- My limo business
- wouldn't have gone belly up.

- Did I tell you
- that my kids need braces?

Got teeth like a picket fence.

Oh...

Hi, Rhonda.

- I wanted to talk to you
- about the party.

The party's over, Roger.

I'm being kicked to the curb?

You're off the curb,

into the street.

- Oh, watch out!
- A car almost hit you.

Hey, wait a minute, Rhonda.

- Something really stinks,
- and I think it's you.

Excuse me?

- Why'd you go out with me
- in the first place?

Hello! I needed a date

for the party.

But you used me.

And your point is?

It's just not right.

- You can't just mess with
- a guy's emotions like that.

Do you think you can play me

like some cheap video game?

I do it all the time,

and most guys like it.

Well, not me.

- There's only two women
- who can treat me like that

And that's Tia and tamera.

- Well, my mother, too,
- so that's three.

And my grandmother

and my aunt Inez...

Okay, five women but that's it.

I said what I had to say.

Now you can get to steppin'.

You go, Roger.

Wow.

- No one's ever talked
- to me like that before.

- I don't know
- why I do this to guys.

- Maybe we can start over
- and go out next week.

Oh, yeah, and maybe

I'll become the lead singer

in a rock group.

Way to go, Roger.

Ernie, did you see that?

I just cut loose

the prettiest girl

in Roosevelt high.

Yeah, it was the bomb,

I'm telling you!

What do you mean?

I just cut loose

the prettiest girl

in Roosevelt high.

But at least you got

your self-esteem.

- Self-esteem doesn't have
- great legs.

Rhonda, come back!

I forgive you!

Look, tamera, this has gone

far enough with Shawn.

I have to break up with him.

Okay. Do it mean and cruel.

I want him on the rebound.

I thought you were with Kevin.

- Well, I was thinking
- about that, but you see...

Shawn's on the football team

- and they have these really
- cool letterman jackets.

And Kevin... he's

on the golf team

and they have those sweaters

- that wouldn't work
- with anything in my closet.

Well, at least you

have a good reason.

Um, look, Shawn.

- Can I talk with you
- for a minute?

Yeah. What's up?

Uh, Shawn, it's about me

being your... woman.

It's pretty amazing, huh?

No, it's not.

Look, first of all,

I'm not your woman.

Well, sure you are.

You got my ring, got my jacket.

You got all my stuff.

- That kind of makes you my
- woman.

Look, Shawn, I have

to tell you the truth.

- You weren't with me
- at the party.

Tamera was pretending to be me

because I didn't want

to hurt your feelings

and break up with you.

I was with tamera?

- Right. Look, I'm really sorry,
- and I know it was

- A lousy thing to do,
- and I really feel terrible.

I hope you can forgive me.

Maybe I'll give tamera a call.

So, how'd he take it?

Great. He's shallow, so he'll

be giving you a call

- and I've got Bobby
- and everything worked out fine.

- -Hey!
- -Hey!

- -Tia?
- -Huh?

- I don't think we should see
- each other anymore.

What? Why?

- I know about you
- and Shawn dating.

How did you find out?

- Well, I felt that you were
- keeping something from me...

That we had grown apart...

And you called me Shawn

12 times on the

phone last night.

Okay, but, why else?

- I just don't think this
- is going to work out.

But it's all over now,

Shawn... uh, Bobby.

Au revoir.

Mom, you were right.

Having two boyfriends was

just asking for trouble.

Did I say that?

- Well, you started to but
- then you fell asleep.

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

What?

Well, anyway,

I broke up with Shawn

- but then Bobby broke up
- with me because of Shawn.

I guess it was my fault

for not being honest

in the first place.

Mmm, well, honey, I am so glad

you did so well on your test.

Hey, Tia, great news.

- I have a date
- with Shawn tonight.

Pretty amazing, huh?

Oh, tamera. Uh, Kevin called.

Who? Kevin.

- Said he's glad you're over
- your ebola virus.

He also said he's on his way

over to pick you up

for your date tonight.

Oh, no. What am I going to do?

I have two dates!

Tia!

Ah, come on! We're good at it!

Ray, I can't believe it!

You sold everything

on the cart.

Well, Lisa, some folks

are just natural-born

salespeople.

-I'll get it.

Oh, rog. What can I do for you?

When my mom was at the mall

- she heard your limo business
- went under.

We wanted to help

so here's some

clothes and food.

Thanks, Roger. Good-bye.

Natural-born salesperson, huh?

- Can you work the rest
- of the week, Mr. Clog king?