Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 15 - The Volunteers - full transcript

Tia, you had it last!

- -Uh-uh!
- -Uh-huh!

- -Did not!
- -Did too!

Well, it's not in the kitchen.

What do we do now?

What's the problem?

Dad, we can't watch TV.

The remote control is missing.

What are we going to do?

Relax.

I know it seems



like a terrible thing

but there are ways

to work this out.

Wow.

You can do that?

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew how

much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go! ♪

♪ Never knew



how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go ♪

- -Hi dad,
- -hi mom.

Hi. How was school?

- I don't know.
- Did one of my teachers call?

-No.

-Then it was great.

Actually, it was great.

- We got our community
- service assignment today.

- Oh. What are
- you guys doing this year?

Most of us will help out

- down at the Detroit
- home for the aged.

Oh, motown old town, huh?

- So what are you going
- to do, tamera?

- Some of us are going
- to work at the mall

- And help
- fashion-challenged people

Pick out attractive outfits.

Some of us?

Okay, me.

Wait a minute.

That's not community service.

That's shopping.

Everybody should volunteer

- to do something
- in their community.

I'm teaching a business class

for adults at the high school.

Every week I go down

to the salvation army.

See? You should learn to be

less selfish, like Lisa, here.

And give away Ray's

old, tired clothes.

- Wait a minute. You didn't give
- away my fat ties, did you?

Trust me, ray. Your ties are

not coming back.

Okay, okay, but I

guess it's too late for me

- to get in on that
- home-for-the-aged thing.

No tamera! There's plenty of

opportunity to help at the

home.

Work with me here.

There's still work

to be done at the home.

Oh, man...

I wanted to help people

pick out clothes.

"Chloe's dress fluttered

"as she glided into the parlor

- and gazed eagerly
- out the window

And watched as Enrique rode up

on his great white steed..."

- Skip to the place
- where he takes off his shirt.

I'm not going to live forever.

Hey, man, no spiking it.

- Maybe we'd better stop
- before you hurt yourself.

Okay, red, pony up.

You owe me five bucks.

Oh, you're hustling me, man.

All right, ladies,

knit one and Pearl two.

Oh, is that it?

Okay.

- Are you sure this is
- a good way to meet women?

Oh, the best.

- Now, everybody, it's
- very easy, okay?

It goes, one, two,

three and four and five

six and seven and eight, okay?

Now, everybody got it?

By the way, Mr. Ancier,

that white belt's the bomb.

I wish my mom would let

me dye my hair blue.

This was a mistake.

- Well, do you remember
- what you did wrong?

Tamera, where have you been?

- So I'm late.
- What's the big deal?

- We've been pairing up
- with seniors

And all the good

old people are taken.

Well, who have I got?

- Why don't you let me alone,
- you big bully?

I can't take it anymore.

I've had it! I quit!

Go ahead and quit.

See if I care.

Hey, uh, you guys.

- Come on, I want
- to play checkers.

- What are you looking at?
- I'm on the clock here.

The big clock.

You...

Out.

We're not finished yet.

Oh, no?

You are now.

And you lost. Here.

He's all yours.

What are you...

Hi. I'm tamera Campbell.

I'm black. You're red.

Sit down.

Okay... well, red

always goes first.

- -Oh, really?
- -Uh-huh.

Then I'm red and you're black.

Now, young lady

I'm only playing

checkers with you

because that mop,

over there, can't play.

Well, somebody's

a little cranky this morning.

Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh.

- Don't talk to me
- like I'm a kid.

And the most

important thing is...

Move that checker.

Stupid move.

This is introduction

to small business management.

- I'd like to welcome
- all of you to the class

And hopefully we'll all

"profit" from the experience.

Now, I run this class

with business decorum.

So, I'd like all of you

to address me as Mr. Campbell.

Hey, ray! What you say?

Ah, miss Landry.

- I see that you decided you
- can profit from this class.

Cake decorating class was full.

- Yeah. I tried
- to get in that too.

- Ooh, yeah. He is so good
- and his designs...

- Please, miss Landry,
- uh, have a seat.

Now, before we begin

are there any questions?

Uh... hmm, no.

- No, come on, there
- are no stupid questions.

Okay. Ray did you have

to leave your stanky socks

on the kitchen table today?

Please, let's try to remember

about business decorum,

decorum.

- Did you have
- to leave your stinky socks

On the kitchen table

today, Mr. Campbell?

Yes. Sorry.

Look, uh, let's get started

with what I call

the 14 road signs

on the highway to success.

Sign number one...

Know your market.

Sign number two...

Use the proper fuel

to gas yourself up

and run your business properly.

Signs three, four and five...

Location, location, location.

Signs six, seven, eight...

Boring, boring, boring.

Shh. Be quiet.

- Can't you see the man's
- trying to teach? He's a very...

Please, miss Landry,

please. No talking.

- Yeah, but I was just trying
- to tell him...

Please.

- The students are trying
- to pay attention.

All right.

Sign number six...

Always give the customer

the right of way

and be careful of

merging businesses

and try to avoid the detours

onto the shoulder of failure.

Ray, I learned a lot

in your class yesterday.

You did?

- Mm-hmm. The guy
- sitting next to me knows

- A great Mongolian restaurant
- to go to after class.

- Well, what about
- my 14 road signs to success?

- I made a u-ey
- after road sign number nine.

- Next class will be a lot more
- interesting

Its gonna feature my 12

potholes in a road to failure

- hey! Why don't I run over
- by you

- No, no, no... that would unfair
- to the other students

No, no, it's ok!

- No, no, I insist. I don't want
- any special treatment

Just one pothole.

No.

- Hi, dad.
- Hi, ma.

Hi, girls. How's it going

at the home for the aged?

It's getting old.

I don't think I

want to go today.

Come on tamera, you've got to

show up. It's sixty's day.

- What? You guys gonna wear
- bell-bottoms

And listen to Beatles' music?

No, no, no.

- They're going to wear - what they wore
- When they were 60.

- Dad, I don't want to go back
- there.

- I got stuck with the worst guy
- in the place.

- I played checkers with him.
- I tried reading to him.

- I tried playing
- shuffleboard with him

But no matter what I do

- I cannot get
- through to the guy.

Oh, come on tamera,

he can't be that bad.

- Let me tell you
- about my eight stars

In the constellation

of community service.

Run like the wind, tamera.

Star number one,

and the brightest...

Never give up.

You know, the guy's

- just probably crying
- out for attention.

- You know, seeking a little
- human companionship.

Be part of a family.

- But dad, what do you
- want me to do?

Invite him for dinner?

I think that would be

a wonderful idea.

I want him out now!

Wait a minute. It's only 7:00.

We haven't had dinner yet.

He's old. He won't remember.

Where's my food?

Dad, he's not going anywhere

- until he eats.
- What are we going to do?

We could move.

Dad, don't kid around.

- Yesterday, you didn't want
- anything to do with this guy.

This time, it's personal.

What is this, a cafeteria?

- No. I'm just about
- to serve dinner.

What are we having?

Pork chops.

Hate it.

String beans.

Hate it.

Potatoes.

Hate it.

And red wine.

What year?

Eighty-nine.

Hate it.

- Now, wait a minute.
- Now, we went...

Well, well, well,

where has the time gone?

It's bedtime.

It was nice meeting you, Edgar.

Hold it. Hold it.

Where are you running?

It's only 7:00.

Wow, it's that late?

If I don't get my 13 hours

I'm not worth anything.

If I closed my eyes

for that long, they'd Bury me.

Good night, Edgar.

- Yeah, and I got to go
- and do my homework.

- What you mean? You already did
- your homework.

Well, I'll do yours.

Good night.

So, Edgar...

I guess I'll take you home.

Wait a minute.

We haven't had dinner yet.

Well, we'll get pizza

on the way home.

- -Come on.
- -Pizza?

- -Yeah.
- -Yeck.

Okay, but it's got

to be cheese-less

or I'll be disturbing

my roommates all night.

Well, we're here.

Yeah. Really.

Thanks for nothing.

You know... look.

- I've had about
- a bellyful of you.

I've been trying

really hard to be nice.

I bring you to my house.

You insult my family, the food

and you got pizza

all over my dad's Mercedes.

He should have bought

an American car.

Well, I guess

I'll have to see you tomorrow.

I wouldn't come back here

tomorrow if they paid me.

Look, why are you

so bitter and grouchy?

Did you have a bad childhood?

No.

In fact, my parents

are still together.

Well, next to each other,

you know what I mean?

Well, you must be

unhappy about something.

Well, there was

this one girl...

She was the love of my life.

- But I am not saying
- anything more.

-Okay.

-This girl...

She had the most

beautiful golden hair.

Probably still does.

Unless she dyed it.

Unless she died.

So, do you want

to talk about her?

No. And don't be so nosey.

Fine.

You know what happened?

The war tore us apart.

Oh, you were sent overseas?

No. She was.

You see, she was a nurse.

I had flat feet.

You like pancakes?

Yeah.

My feet were just like that.

Anyway...

- We were going to get married,
- this girl and myself...

You know, when she returned,

but instead she sent me

a "dear John" letter.

Oh, that must have been awful.

Damn right,

'cause my name is Edgar.

Then a couple of

years later she...

She moved back to Detroit

after she broke up

with that frenchie guy

but I never called her.

Never, never.

That's all I'm saying,

you understand?

You get nothing more out of me.

Well, I really

have to go home now.

But her name...

Listen... her name

was Geraldine Jones.

You like to pry, don't you,

into people's business.

Will you do me a favor?

Will you...

Will you please go home?

- -Go home. Please.
- -Wha..?

Tamera, you know

how sensitive I am

to the plight of the elderly

but that guy is a jerk.

The guy has a broken heart.

Bad valve?

No.

This woman he was crazy about

left him for another guy.

- Then she changed her mind,
- and he wouldn't take her back.

Now he regrets it.

- That's the reason
- why he's so miserable.

Oh... so the man is pining

over unrequited love.

- Tia, do you know
- what I'm going to do?

- What? Get the dictionary
- and look up "unrequited"?

Yeah.

And then I'm going

to find that woman

and get them back together.

Oh, come on, tamera.

- What did that woman
- ever do to you?

Tia, this is like looking

for a Jones in a haystack.

It's not like Jones

is a common name.

Hey... uh... uh...

Nice sweater, Roger.

Thanks. I made it myself.

It's a boucle.

By the way I think I found

your Geraldine Jones.

You did? How did you do that?

- There are only
- four degrees of separation

- Between me and someone at the
- department of motor vehicles.

So, who do you know?

- My cousin's niece's
- chiropractor's boyfriend.

So, what did you find out?

- My cousin's having an affair
- with a driving examiner.

But what about Geraldine Jones?

The d.M.V. Had everything

you need to know about

Geraldine Jones.

She got married,

her husband died in 1976

- and she sideswiped
- a car in '68.

Oh my god.

This is great, Roger.

- You went through all this
- trouble, for this!

Can we pay you?

I'm insulted.

- I can't believe two of my
- dearest and closest friends

- Would think I would
- do this for money.

Sorry, Roger.

- I want a date.
- Either one of you is fine.

Out, out, out, out, out!

That's how my seven rivers

of enterprise

flow into the sea of success.

Yeah, that's great, but when

are you going to teach us

- how to apply
- for a business license?

That's next semester

- after you have
- learned the basics.

Believe me, Mr. Solakian

- you're not ready
- to start your own business.

- But, they say they'll take away
- my grocery store

- If I don't get
- the business license.

I can help you with that.

I have my own cart at the mall.

You're fashions by Lisa.

Yeah.

Next to the falafel cart.

I practically live there.

Let's listen to Mr. Campbell

- and his little
- river-thingy right now.

- Yes, but I'm through
- with my "little river-thingy."

- Now, are there
- any other questions?

Mr. Solakian.

Lisa, where did you get

your license for your cart?

- Down at
- the county clerk's office.

Any other questions, please?

Yeah. I sell homemade maple

syrup by the side of the road.

Now, what advice do you have

so, I could maximize my

profits?

Well, uh...

I think the failure rate

for that kind of business

is, oh, about 85%.

Well, thanks, but actually

I was asking Lisa.

Well, if there's

a 85% failure rate

- then there's
- a 15% success rate.

You know what?

Why don't you sell

some pancake mix

with your syrup?

Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

And if you're zoned for it

I want some scrambled eggs.

Mm-hmm.yeah.

Ray?

What are you doing

sitting alone in the dark?

- Wouldn't you if you
- were rejected by people

Who couldn't get into

a cake decorating class?

Oh, now, ray.

Come on, now,

that is not entirely true.

Mr. Vanderhoff couldn't get

into the motel management

class.

- Why did you leave
- before class was over?

- I didn't think
- anyone would notice.

Of course we noticed.

- You left before
- you got your evaluation.

What evaluation?

- The school handed out forms
- to people

- So they could
- evaluate their instructors.

I don't want to read them.

I can guess what they say.

- Well, if you won't read them,
- I will... out loud.

Now, this is from Mr. Dobisch.

- "Ray Campbell is the best
- teacher I ever had."

- See what I tell you.
- He's got a nerve calling me...

What?

- This one is from
- Mrs. Kraypence.

- "Ray Campbell's '14 road signs
- on the highway of success'

Inspired me to speed up

my business career."

Well, I knew I was kind

of getting through to them.

- You know, I came up with
- that "14 road sign" thing

- Just about
- an hour before class.

Wait. Wait a minute.

You wrote those glowing reports

to make me feel better.

Yeah. You got me.

But here's my evaluation.

"I am truly sorry for

disturbing your class."

- See, I wrote it
- a hundred times.

Aw, it's okay.

I have no business

teaching business class anyway.

Oh, yes, you do.

- Then why were they
- listening to you?

I was translating what you said

but I was being

more entertaining

colorful, you know, compelling

-fabulous, witty!

-All right, all right.

Ray, you are a successful

businessman

but you got to teach

from your experience.

- You got to forget
- about them rivers

And stripes and highways.

You know, you're right.

I have to simplify

my teaching methods.

- You know, there are seven keys
- to unlocking

- -the doors to knowledge...
- -You're doing it again.

Yeah, right. Sorry.

Well, well, well.

Look who thinks

he's Gary Cooper.

- You're jealous,
- that's what you are.

I shouldn't have let you

rope me into this.

You're just setting me up

for a big letdown.

That's what you doing.

And she's late. She's late.

She's going to stand me up

like she did in '42.

She's in her late '70s.

Give her four minutes.

Edgar?

What is it?

Oh, it's you.

Edgar.

How are you?

You look the same

as the day I met you.

Boy, that's sad if he

looked 80 when he was 22.

Geraldine, you know

I never forgot about you.

I never forgot

about you either.

- -Edgar...
- -Yeah.

Do you still dance?

Do I still dance?

Do I still dance?

Hey, kid do I still dance?

Yes.

Hey, Roger, play

something romantic.

I thought you'd never ask.

Not for us, for them.

- Okay, I'll pretend
- like it's for us.

You know, the last time

we danced together

was in the ballroom

at the book Cadillac hotel.

It was our last date.

Paul whiteman was

leading the orchestra.

I don't remember any of that.

All I remember is you.

- They did turn the lights
- down, didn't they?

Yes. Yes.

Just... just checking.

Geraldine...

I missed you.

- You should've seen
- Edgar's face light up

When he finally saw

the love of his life.

Yeah, and then they danced

and everybody clapped.

And Edgar and Geraldine

talked and talked.

Oh, that's great, tamera.

See, you made the difference.

- Yeah, and I feel like I did.
- And tomorrow

I'm going to help him

find a part-time job.

So, he feels useful

great.

And he wants his own apartment.

- I think I can help
- him find one.

Hey, good.

And we can have him

over for dinner again.

Wait a minute, tamera.