Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 3, Episode 9 - Too Much of a Good Thing - full transcript

My Walter writes me a
new poem every morning.

My Walter and I never have
breakfast until after we've jogged.

[Announcer] Tonight
on Simon & Simon...

That is not a lady-killer.
That's somebody

that understands trigonometry
and gets depressed a lot.

- We're here about Walter.
- What's your line?

We're agrarian nutritional
consulting chemists.

[laughs]

- Hey, hey.
- Easy, easy, Walter.

[grunts]

[horn blows]



♪♪ [theme]

You're gonna like this.
The airport just called.

The plan says that Carmichael
the bug-catcher's on his way over.

Now how the hell
did he find out?

- What makes you think he did?
- Just checked our traps.

We didn't ask him to come
back and check them again.

And nobody likes that job enough
to do it on his own time, right?

Walter Carmichael does.

Why don't you park
on down the road?

I'll find out what he wants.

Aren't you supposed
to be on vacation?

I thought you'd be
really in Bonita by now.

I wish I was, Martin.
Something came up.

Checked with air services. They
tell me you're spraying malathion.



Yeah, can't you smell it?

Why, sure. Over half the county.

I thought it was from
the walnut groves

till I ran into Rich Steck.

He told me he'd looked
at his irrigation pond.

It's loaded with your spray.
Why are you putting it on by air?

Oh, Walter, I
know it's expensive,

but the fruit looks so good,

and the price is
gonna be sky-high.

I just didn't want to take a
last-minute chance of getting flies.

Ground spray is just
as effective on citrus.

You should have asked me.

As usual, Walter, as usual.

But that's the end
of it until next year.

Uh...

Does Steck think his pond
is ruined or something?

Something.

I've got samples to analyze
before I can say what.

Walter, it's only malathion.

Some of it ran
down into his pond.

I'm sorry. Why all the hoopla?

No hoopla.

I'm just going to collect some
leaves and sap and so forth

so I can run all my
tests at the same time.

Well, you do that. Let
me know what you find out.

[engine starts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Hey, what's the
matter? We're doing fine.

Only a hopeless
glue-head would say that.

- I think I'm blind.
- You always think you're blind.

When Carlos brought over the
pool kit, you thought you were blind.

Look at that. It's eating
a hole in the deck.

See there, you're not blind. Come
on. 20 minutes and we're done.

Done for. If they sold this
stuff any place but Tijuana,

it'd have a skull and
crossbones over it.

[grunting]

Where's the ladder?

Ladder. Right?

Come on, A.J.

Why should I buy this stuff up
here and spend 20 bucks more on it?

Fiberglass solvent
is fiberglass solvent.

It's not different 'cause
they make it in Mexico.

Well, different enough
to melt a paintbrush.

I'm sorry, Rick, but my
life is worth a little bit more

than a hole in your boat.

[grunting]

Tell you what.

I'm not only blind,
I'm hallucinating.

I'm smelling L'air du Temps.

Mr. Simon?

- Yeah, hi.
- Hi. I can see
that you're busy.

No, no, we're not busy.
It's just that cheap solvent

he's using on the
boat. The fumes get us.

- Do we know you, Miss, uh...
- I'm Hilda Carmichael.

I don't live far. The
marina there. Slip 18-A.

- Uh-huh.
- Oh, yeah. The lady
in the white Mercedes.

Right. White Mercedes. Bingo.

We should get to know our
neighbors a little bit better.

Would you care for a beer? Oh,
we're out. I could go get some.

You can have some of mine.

Mr. Maddox on the canal

said that you do private
investigation work.

Yes, ma'am, that's right. We do.

Special rates for
all girls next door.

That's not right, but
we are competitive.

I don't care about the money.

I just want you to
find my husband,

Walter Carmichael. He
didn't come home last night.

Look, Hilda?

Hilda.

I know it's kind of
tough when it's your shot,

but our line of work,

we see this kind
of thing all the time,

and one night is hardly
grounds for panic.

Yeah, well, that's
what the police said.

All men are prone to having
a wild night out now and then.

My Walter isn't like most men.

I think the best thing to do

would probably be to
have you look around

and maybe you could find
something that would help.

Okay.

Do you live aboard full time?

Yeah, since Walter
and I were married.

The boat actually belonged
to my first husband,

but, like me, it was just
another one of his toys,

and he really only
used it for parties.

Did you divorce
your first husband?

No, he drowned.

He fell off the bow.

A.J.

Excuse me.

Why is this salesman traveling?

Walter is not a salesman.

He's an agrarian nutritional
consulting chemist.

He's self-employed.

I suppose this is his lab smock.

I laid that out
for him last night

when he got to be so late,

thinking that I'd fall asleep,

and he'd tiptoe in, and...

See, Walter's on the road a lot.

He goes to Carlsbad, Lompoc,
up the coast to Monterey,

and he's gone three
weeks out of a month.

Well, if he's on the road so
much, he must use his credit cards.

It'll be a snap to find him.

Look, what I want to know is
why the hat dance over one night?

We were supposed to
start our vacation yesterday.

He was supposed to be home.

Well, you know, maybe he
just got hung up somewhere

and forgot to call.
That happens.

I told you.

Don't judge Walter
by other people.

I know this sounds vain,

but he lives to be with me,

to make me happy.

He'd never forget.

Okay, look, Hilda.

Let's just consider this
your free consultation, okay?

Because if we took your
case, it'd cost you a bunch.

- I'm talking $400...
- That's fine.

You can start
looking up in Oxnard.

That's where he was last
week, the last time he called me.

No, see, you don't seem to
understand. We also get mileage.

50 cents a mile, and we might have
to drive all the way up to Monterey.

I don't care about the money.

Look, if you understood about
Walter, you'd know why I'm so worried.

He'd never do this to
me if he could help it,

unless he was
in terrible trouble.

Look, Walter's the type of
man that's so much in love

that even if he
couldn't call me,

he sent me flowers every
day we've been married.

Every day?

For five years. These
came this morning.

Well, you can stop worrying.

If he's still sending
you flowers,

it won't be all that
hard to find him.

So he's careful.

Just 'cause the guy has an
automatic account with the florist

doesn't mean he's insincere.

Oh, come on, A.J., the guy in
the back makes up the cards.

[boom]

- What was that noise?
- Never mind the noise.

Look at that. Come on.

Now you tell me that
you honestly think

that Walter is the
rowdy red bathrobe type.

It doesn't make any
difference what I think.

She seems to think he is.

Besides, according to her, his
best qualities are not photogenic.

Uh-huh. Well, you
just study the face.

That is not a lady-killer.

That's somebody that
understands trigonometry

- and gets depressed a lot.
- Come on.

Just because Walter didn't
take his senior prom date

to the bullfights
the way you did

doesn't necessarily mean

that he is not a
virile, fulfilling partner.

It just means he's not
a romantic troglodyte.

What are you worried about?

We find Walter, we bring
him home. It's easy money.

Messy job.

Oh, this from a man who
eats burritos in the shower.

[boom]

Where did you get this gas?

Tijuana.

[boom]

[boom]

She said Walter eats here a
lot. I guess he likes the food.

Isn't truck stop food
supposed to be good?

You have never
eaten in a truck stop?

No, not to my knowledge.

[sighs]

- Excuse us.
- Excuse me. Hi.

Can we get a couple
drafts down here, please?

How you doing?

Like your hat.

Irrigation control.
That good work?

Steady.

What's your line?

We're agrarian nutritional
consulting chemists.

You know, like
Walter Carmichael?

[laughs]

Is that what you bug-catchers
are calling yourselves nowadays?

Time for a tax
cut, sounds to me.

These state inspectors
are getting airs, Jeffries.

Knew the man. Though
I knew all you ag boys.

Oh, well, we're new.

This is our first day on
the job, as a matter of fact.

Yeah. so far, so good.

What happened to Walter?

If they fired him, they crazy.

No, no, no, Walter's
golden. They know that.

Besides, we'd never
take his job away from him.

He's got that pretty
wife he has to support.

Wife? You got the
wrong Carmichael, buddy.

Walter's not married.

Well, maybe he
doesn't talk about it,

but you ought to see what he's
got stashed down in San Diego.

Definitely the wrong guy.

Yeah, this Walter Carmichael's

got nothing but nothing
to do with San Diego.

Lives right down the
road in a damn motel.

Keeps a room there full time.
Don't know why he bothers, though.

He's gone up north to Monterey

about three weeks
out of the month.

You hang around there until
you see which way they go.

By the way,

what are you doing
in a bar, anyway?

So I broke the rules. So what?

You ought to be damn glad I did.

Besides, you try to make it all the
way up from Rumarosa without a beer.

Forget the beer.

Let me know if you
find out anything.

I'll see what I can learn here.

And Jeffries, stay
out of the bars.

I wouldn't have to if
you'd just get rid of him.

Jeffries, if we kill Walter,

we'll have the
police looking for us

all the way to Sacramento.

This way, Walter
keeps us clean himself.

[engine starts]

[boom]

Rick, it's getting worse.

Hi, guys.

Walter.

Here, Walter. Walter.

Good news.

You're gonna be
just fine, Walter.

How do you feel?

What happened?

Nothing very grand,
I'm afraid, Walter.

You hit a tree. Terrible
way to start a vacation.

There's no point in
moving you to a hospital.

A few days' rest here
and you'll be on your feet.

- [grunts]
- No, not now.

You'll get your strength
back, and we'll talk then.

I've decreased the amount
of sedative we were giving you

to help you sleep.

By the way, Walter,

I've learned about your
secret life in San Diego.

You be thinking about that.

I want to hear all about it.

- Long drive.
- Really?

Yeah.

$22.50 for a double.
Check-out's at 11:00.

If you're paying by credit
card, I need to make an imprint.

Excuse me, uh, Mindy.

I suppose our friend Walter
Carmichael already has a room?

- Yes.
- Oh, terrific. We can still surprise him.

Mindy.

Can you keep a secret?

See, the thing is,
it's Walt's birthday,

and we kind of wanted to grab him
and take him out for a night on the town.

What town?

It's a figure of speech, Mindy.

Now if you'll just tell us
what the room number is,

we'll just sneak
right on up there.

You know how old
Walt likes a joke.

A guy shouldn't have to
spend his birthday alone,

especially in
Oxnard. Or Snardville.

That's what you
call it up here, isn't it?

Look, I'm sorry, Mr., um,

Abba Dabba Dabba Dabba?

But Mr. Carmichael never
wishes to be disturbed.

Besides, he's not here.

I struck out. You try.

[clears throat]

Mindy.

Would you do me a favor?

Now we haven't missed
a birthday with old Walt

since the army.

Would you just do me a
favor, and when he comes in,

just be sure and give him this?

Because I know how
much he'd hate to miss us.

Who wouldn't?

Aah!

My contact! I think the
little yellow one's got it.

Hey, get your hands out of
there! You're gonna kill the fish!

Aah!

[water splashing]

- You got it? Any luck?
- No.

Whoa, never mind.
I just stepped on it.

Here it is. There you go.

Ah.

Thank you very much.

[lock clicking]

It's the wrong room.

Right room.

Well, just because
he pays for it

doesn't mean he has to use it.

Well, people use hotel
rooms for some strange things.

This is a first.

[tape squealing]

Hello. At least we
know he's been here.

Oh, great. He comes in

to change his shorts and
listen to his messages.

This is Walter Carmichael.

I'm not here. You can
leave a message at the tone.

I got a message for you.

[imitating E.T.]
Walter, phone home.

- [beep]
- This is Rich Steck again,
Walter.

I found two more.
This time they're dead.

I'm really starting to worry,
'cause I don't know who's next.

So call me as soon
as you can, will you?

At 5-5-5-2-0-1-0.

Thank you, Walter.

- Mr. Steck?
- Yeah.

Hi, I'm Rick Simon.
This is my brother A.J.

We called you from
the Ranch House Inn.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Hi.

How you doing?

Why you looking for
Walter? You friends of his?

Uh, no, actually.
We don't know him.

We're working for his wife.
She's worried about him.

Hmm. Well, I'm a friend of his,
and I'm worried about him, too.

He was out here
yesterday morning.

I haven't been able
to reach him since.

Well, we spoke to his
office up in Sacramento.

They seem to think he's
starting a two-week vacation.

But his wife hasn't
heard from him.

Is this something he does? Has
he dropped out like this before?

[laughs] Well, I guess
you don't know Walter.

Walter's regular as rain.

He's either out on the road,
or out on the boat with his wife.

I tried every
number I got for him,

and he gave me a couple
he never gave anybody else,

but the first time since I
known him, Walter's lost.

We had the opportunity

to listen to the message you
left on his machine in Oxnard.

You said something
about "finding two more,"

and "this time they're dead."

Would you care
to fill us in on that?

Yeah. It's, um... uh...

Do you work for Prichard?

- No.
- Who's Prichard?

Well, I guess if you gotta ask,
then, hell, you ain't working for him.

Prichard Groves.
Agribiz. Agricorp.

Big money from who knows where.

I'm sure you've seen
their ad. "The Natural Way."

Hell, you probably
eat their food.

I guess everybody does.

They bought up half the citrus
between here and Monterey.

The oranges and
lemons and 'quats.

You know, one of their
groves borders mine right here.

I never did like 'em.
Now I know why.

Um... I don't get the
connection, though.

What does Prichard have
to do with dead sheep?

Well, if it was just the sheep,

I'd think it'd be blue tongue,
pasturella, something like that,

but it was the chickens
first, and then all my bees left.

And I found them
two this morning,

- and I want Walter
to see and confirm it.
- Confirm what?

Well, the spray. It's
killing the animals.

How do the sheep
get into the spray?

Well, I use them to graze
the grass down in the groves,

and naturally they
drink the water

that runs into
the irrigation pool.

Goats would be cheaper, but they like
to sharpen them horns on the tree trunks.

Makes sense, but if the
spray is doing in your sheep,

why do you use it?

Oh, well, I ain't using it.

It's whatever Prichard's
spraying on his fruit

that's running into my pond.
And Walter thinks so, too.

Well, as soon as we find Walter,

we'll tell him about
this, of course.

- Have him get in touch.
- All right.

Here you go. Here's our number

in case you turn anything up,

and if for any reason
you can't a hold of us,

you can just leave a message
with his wife down in San Diego.

What's she doing down there?

Well, that's where they live. Remember,
we were just talking about their boat.

No, we weren't.

We were talking about the
boat at the Oxnard Marina.

That's where they live.

Well, I ought to know.

It's docked right next to mine.

I think one of us is confused.

I think two of us are confused.

[laughs]

Well...

it's not an uncommon
way to name a boat.

You know, I sometimes worry

about your inability
to deal with life.

Must be terrible
being the second child.

Look, I'm sorry. I'm just
a slave to common sense.

You know what I mean? And
I have yet to find a shred of it

to explain why it's
worth it to Walter

to keep both a motel
room and a boat in Oxnard.

Wait a minute. Hey,
hey. I am willing to bet you

- next month's payment
on the Chevy...
- No, you won't.

- Why not?
- Because you still owe me last
month's payment on the Chevy.

- And this month's payment.
- Fine, fine, fine.

This month's payment on the
Chevy, that behind that door

is yet another Mrs. Walter
Carmichael who is built like a...

No bet.

Mrs. Carmichael?

Yes, I'm Gloria Carmichael.

We're here about Walter.

Could we talk to you for
a few minutes, please?

Yeah. Okay.

Come on in.

[knock on door]

Is it Walter? Have
you found him yet?

Well, in a manner of speaking.

Who is she?

Well, remember we told you

there was somebody we thought
you should meet? Remember?

Yeah.

Mrs. Carmichael, Meet, uh...

Mrs. Carmichael.

Well, why don't we all sit down

- and we'll get
to the bottom of this.
- Yeah. Yep, yep.

Why don't I start?

Uh... See, the thing is,

it seems that Walter
is married to, uh...

both of you.

That's impossible.

Well, nobody likes
to admit these things,

- but sometimes it happens.
- You're lying.

She's lying, somebody's lying.

But it is all lies.

We wish it were.

We really do.

But I think that you'll agree

that under the circumstances,

the best thing that we
can do is face the facts...

Shut up!

Uh... This is your husband.

Right?

And, uh... your husband?

That's the same man.

[sighs] I'm going
on record as saying

that this is a stupid idea.

Not only that, this
is your stupid idea.

We couldn't very well just say,

"Your husband's a
bigamist. Have a nice day,"

and leave her in
Oxnard, could we?

My Walter writes me a
new poem every morning

and brings it to me with
a champagne breakfast.

My Walter and I never have
breakfast until after we've jogged.

I don't like
champagne. Or poetry.

And neither does he.

My Walter talks in his sleep.

My Walter sings in his sleep.

My Walter asked for my hand

even before my husband's
estate was out of probate.

My Walter asked for my hand

before my first husband
was even buried.

My Walter insisted we
spend our honeymoon at sea.

He did?

Did, um... did he
also make a big deal

out of renaming
the boat after you?

Yeah.

Oh.

You know,

I'm beginning to change
my mind about Walter.

I mean, a guy could do
worse to study his technique.

Which technique?

You mean the
technique with the ladies,

or with their former and
currently dead husbands?

Oh, come on, A.J.

There's no reason to jump
to that particular conclusion.

- Just coincidence.
- Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Massive coincidence.

Uh-huh.

Oh, now, now, now.

[both crying]

Now... oh, oh.

You have a handkerchief?

Are you kidding?

There, there.

Now, ladies.

Listen.

I know you've had
a terrible shock,

but you can take
consolation in the fact

that since Walter's a bigamist,

he's gonna have
to pay a heavy fine

- and go to jail...
- [both] No!

Well, no, that's not all.

You've both got really
juicy grounds for divorce.

- You could clean his plow...
- You don't understand.

Well, of course, it's
not as personal for us.

But... well, the law is clear.

The law? Somebody else's rules?

We can't even think about
that until you bring Walter back.

Find him.

No, no, no. See, not us.

You have got his hide
nailed to the barn door

- on a bigamy rap.
- We do not.

Yes, you do.

What we're trying to say is,
Walter has committed a crime.

So now the police will find him.

You don't have to
pay us another nickel.

What I mean is, we can't
worry about the bigamy now.

The main thing
is, he's in trouble.

So please just find Walter

and bring him back to us safe.

We don't want the police.

And we don't want
fines or divorces.

We just want Walter.

We miss him.

[crying]

I think I'm beginning
to miss him myself.

Walter, I happen to know
you're perfectly awake,

so let's not try to
pretend with each other.

Walter, this accident might be

a lot more serious
than we first thought.

As a matter of fact,

it could be very, very serious.

I'd really hate to have to give
you more stimulant, Walter.

Your heart beats
faster, palpitations,

you can hardly breathe.

All right, Martin.

What's going on?

Did you send any of
those samples into the lab?

No.

Good.

We saved them for you.

And I think when you
have them analyzed, Walter,

you're gonna find out that
I was telling you the truth.

You're not going to find
anything except malathion.

Of course. You fixed that.

Who's to say?

The point is,

those samples are the only
proof you've got of your story,

and if you treasure
your job, Walter,

those samples had
better match your story.

True?

You're gonna have to
let me out sooner or later.

Then how are you
going to explain this?

I won't have to. Walter,
you ran into a tree.

You were crazy. You were high.

You were... [breathing heavily]

You told me you were
going on vacation, Walter.

There'd be nobody to
notify of the accident,

nobody to miss you.

And then I find out
that you're married.

You've got a wife, Walter.

In Oxnard.

True?

True, Walter?

Hit him again.

We've got all night.

[Rick] What do you call déjà vu

when you really have
done it all before?

[A.J.] Walter
Carmichael's love life.

[Rick] Walter may be
dull, but he's an organizer.

I'll bet we find his
pattern in Monterey

is about the same as Oxnard.

[A.J.] This is not a man
who enjoys a simple life.

[Rick] Say what you
will. Walter did it his way.

[boom]

Oh, why is it doing that again?

We burned the last of the
Mexican gas out of here yesterday.

I think their refining techniques do
permanent damage to the engine.

No, no. It's possible
to run an engine

on their gas with
no problem at all.

It all depends on how
you tune your middle.

For instance, that guy
up there just drove up

all the way from Baja,
and he's still going strong.

How do you know?

For one thing, you can see him.
He's not enveloped in a cloud of smoke.

No, I mean, how do you know
he drove up all the way from Baja?

Mexican tags.

Boy, for a professional, you
let a lot of stuff slip right by you.

I saw that. But I also saw

that he's wearing one of
those orange Prichard hats.

And I don't think they
do business in Mexico.

[boom]

Uh-huh.

Marina, hotel room, florist.

Looks to me like we
got ourselves another...

[stutters]

[A.J.] Mrs. Carmichael?

Yes, I'm Eva Carmichael.

Admiration for the guy
just keeps growing, A.J.

I can't help it.

Sorry I was so long.
We're just moving aboard

and it takes me
forever to find anything.

So you're just married, huh?

I mean, so soon after
your first husband's death?

I suppose it does seem that way,

but Jerome and I really
weren't man and wife for years.

Well, now I'm a blushing
bride all over again.

Walter's still showing
me how to sail.

You wouldn't by any chance
have a beer around, would you?

Uh, no, I don't. Walter
doesn't believe in strong drink.

He says it dulls the senses.

Thank you.

And he has exquisite senses.

So we hear.

From whom?

Well, his other,
uh... acquaintances.

The important thing right now,
though, is to find Walter. Right?

I would be so grateful. I
just miss him like the dickens.

Well, suppose you start

by telling us where
you saw him last.

[sighs]

It was right here.

He... He just went out one night

and he never came back.

Was that a couple days ago?

Something had been on his mind.

I mean, he wouldn't
tell me what.

Two or three nights in a
row, he'd taken long drives.

"To think," he said.

- To rest.
- Beg your pardon?

Do you have any idea
where he was going?

Prichard Groves?

Why would he go there?

Well, we think that maybe
he was trying to prove

that they were spraying
poison on their oranges.

Why would that keep
him from coming home?

- Afternoon.
- Afternoon.

The appointment office
is open from 7:00 to 12:00.

Oh, well, we're
not looking for jobs.

We're looking for Walter
Carmichael. Is he around?

Oh, well, you'd have
to ask in administration.

Now you go up here
and you turn right.

You'll see a yellow
line. Follow it.

But don't go off the main
road. It's for your own safety.

Thank you.

Well, of course, I
was just flabbergasted.

Walter and I have been
crossing paths for years.

Now all of a sudden,
he tells me he's married.

It was quite a surprise.

Oh, Walter's just
full of surprises.

I've been calling that woman
in Oxnard since last night.

Still no answer.

- At least it's one
we know about.
- Pardon me?

Uh, tell us about the accident.

Oh, the accident.

Well, unfortunately, it
was all Walter's fault.

Now you combine that accident

with his secret marriage,

and I imagine that, uh,

well, his fitness
may be in doubt.

I'd hate to see that.

This whole shipment from Mexico?

Oh... yes.

I think it is.

Zexan's made there.

Zexan.

Oh, yeah, sure.

That's the stuff you
spray around here, isn't it?

[laughs] No, of course...
No, of course not. No.

The only thing that
Zexan is legal for

is to treat fruit that's
being shipped to Mexico

or the third world countries.

And we do that in
a sealed chamber.

We can't spray the stuff.

- It's strictly scheduled, too.
- I beg your pardon?

Not approved for domestic use.

[both] Ah.

Day before yesterday,
we found Walter's truck

smashed up in one of our groves.

Why he was there, who knows?

I've noticed he hasn't
been quite himself lately.

How bad is he hurting?

He looks worse than he is.

He's not suffering.
All he does is sleep.

That man should
be in a hospital.

Any injury to the head like that

warrants close
observation, x-rays.

Well, we have the
finest equipment.

The x-rays were normal. He's
under constant supervision.

But, say, if his wife
wants him in the hospital,

or home, you just say the word.

But now let's get out of here.
Let's not disturb him anymore.

- How's the hand, Fred?
- Pretty near healed,
Mr. Donlevy.

Well, you take it
easy. Don't rush things.

Oh.

8,000 acres directly
adjacent to the plant.

It's the key to our image.

We personally supervise
the natural harvest

of every one of
our food products.

You've probably seen our TV ads.

They're all true. Gentlemen.

Thank you.

Pick yourself some
oranges on the way out.

Be my guest.

- Thanks.
- [engine starts]

[boom]

Donlevy.

Why in God's name did you
take them to see Carmichael?

Because there's no good
reason to hide him now.

Carmichael's been acting
more and more like a nut.

If he wants to save his job,

he won't make a
sound about Zexan.

He'll be our friend for life.

Carmichael's not the problem.
There goes the problem.

Those two are rock-turners.

Well, I seriously doubt if they
can turn over the right rocks

before we're in the clear.

In two days, our trees will
be completely plucked clean,

the Zexan will
be all evaporated,

and we've got
Carmichael's samples.

We're in the clear, kid.

We're in the clear.

Bet they're drowning
this fruit in that Zexan junk.

Don't ask me why
they'd be that stupid.

Well, Donlevy just
told us why. Image.

This whole county was
eaten up by medflies,

but look at this
fruit. It's beautiful.

- The stuff must work.
- Oh, yeah.

Nails them flies.

And the bees and the
sheep. And probably us.

Hello.

[engine starts]

Well, another day,
another load of Zexan.

- It's not our business.
- Yeah.

Besides, Prichard
knows what they're doing.

How much of that stuff do you
suppose we've sprayed so far?

- Let's see. We've got five trucks.
- Uh-huh.

20 drums a truck.
It's 50 gallons to a...

Rick? Rick?

That's a real fine job you
boys are doing. You carry on.

We'll be in the area all day.

Get the plane. Go after them.

[boom]

Whoa!

What awful, hideous,
mutating things you suppose

- Zexan does to your body?
- We don't know that was Zexan.

Come on. It tastes like
something called Zexan.

As a matter of fact,

it tastes just like your
fiberglass solvent.

I suppose they found
the power wagon by now.

[engine revving]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Hi.
- Something I can do for you?

Well, as a matter of fact, yeah.

Hey, tell those
guys to check in.

Hey, what's wrong with you guys?

You know, I was
thinking about it.

They probably got law
enforcement up here.

That's a good thing
to keep in mind,

because right now we are
probably on their bad side.

- Got it?
- I just hope
that Walter can prove

whatever it is that you have
to prove about this Zexan.

- Hey, hey.
- Easy, easy. Easy, Walter, easy.

We're on your side.

- We're friends of Hilda's.
- And Gloria's, and Eva's.

And they all miss
you like the dickens.

I should have guessed
they were spraying Zexan.

Those idiots. The
fruit's no good.

They don't seem
to mind that, Walter.

- Zexan is unstable.
- So are you, Walter.

It decomposes in 48 hours,

and you can't prove
it was ever sprayed.

Donlevy told me he
doctored my samples.

- We need new ones.
- It's all been
taken care of, Walter.

- Got him?
- Yes, I got him.

[Man] There's one of them.

Use your hands. That's
it. That's it, Walter.

Come on. Let's go. Whoa.

Uh...

Okay, Walter, you're gonna
have to help me out here.

Come on, let's
get your feet going.

Put your feet up. Walter,
come on, help me out.

This step is for Gloria. Gloria.

That's it, that's it.

Put your foot up.
That's it. Gloria.

- Hildy.
- Hildy.

- Eva.
- Eva.

- Gloria.
- Gloria.

- Hildy.
- Hildy.

- Eva.
- Eva.

Barbara. Gloria. Hildy.

No, no. This way,
Walter. Come on. Let's go.

- Okay, Walter, come here.
- Hey!

- Hold it, hold it, hold it.
- [grunting]

Hey, hold it! Hey, hey, hey!

Come on. I want to make a deal.

What deal?

You vandalized my plant.

You're trying to
abduct a sick man.

Now come on down
before it gets worse.

Worse for whom, you or me?

You're holding this
man here against his will,

because he's gonna
blow the whistle on you.

You've soaked your
groves in Zexan,

the natural way.

Absolutely not. You'll
never prove that.

You might be wrong there,

because we took you
up on your invitation.

We picked a few
oranges, nice, fresh ones.

And we got plenty of time
to get them to the laboratory.

But first, you gotta
get out of here.

[horn blowing]

Stop them!

I do hope they're letting
the poor man get some rest.

Maybe it's too
early to barge in.

No, no, no. They'll
want this news.

Yep, he's getting
a lot of rest okay.

Come on, Gloria, open it up.

You can have him
all to yourself later on.

[both] Attagirl.

Oh, that's wonderful. Yes.

[groans]

Hi, folks.

- Hi, Walter.
- Why, hello.

Pay 'em no mind, sweetie.
We'll send them packing.

Oh, now this is
the thanks we get.

Hey, come on,
ladies. Give us a break.

We just want to talk
to Walter man-to-man.

All right, we'll go wait
for you in the hot tub,

but don't be long.

[clears throat] So, Walter.

How you feeling?

I'm a little bushed.

- Ha, ha.
- I shouldn't wonder.

I mean, you know, you've
been through quite an ordeal.

Walter, the reason we're here.

We got good news
and we got bad news.

Now the good news is
you are not a murderer.

We checked it out.
There's no way in the world

you could have killed any
one of their former husbands.

I could have told you that.

Well, the bad news is, uh...

you're a bigamist.

Twice over.

Are you going to report me?

We thought about it.

Then we hit on
an alternative plan.

See, what's gonna make you happy

and, uh... make them happy

is also gonna make us happy.

Course, if you
decide to go straight,

I'll be more than happy to take
any one of them off your hands.

Well, that's a more generous
offer than you imagine.

Frankly, the three
of them together

are quite a handful.

I'm kind of looking forward
to getting back on the road.

On U.S. 101?

Oh, I enjoy it. There's
so much to do...

Walter, no, no.

Walter, don't tell us
what it is you find to do.

We don't want to know.

[Woman] Walter.

- Uh...
- Walter. We're not...

We need to talk
to you some more.

Oh, we can still talk.
There's plenty of room.

- [Woman 2] Oh, Walter.
- [Woman 3] Come on in, honey.

The water's fine, sugar.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA