Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 3, Episode 10 - Betty Grable Flies Again - full transcript
I'd know that beauty anywhere.
[Narrator] Tonight,
on Simon and Simon.
No more crazies.
Mrs. Vogel said he's
a great grandfather.
He probably drinks warm
milk and plays checkers.
Scotch, to cut the cholesterol.
You say he's with the FAA.
He says he doesn't
know you guys from Adam.
[A.J.] I don't know
how to fly one of these.
How long has it been
since you've flown one?
- It's like
riding a bicycle.
- I don't want to hear this.
I don't want to hear it.
[gunshot]
Get to your guns.
Aye aye, Captain.
♪♪ [theme music]
[TV plays]
Grandpa, you sure you
don't want any coffee?
No. I want some luck.
[TV Announcer] But until today,
there was little hope it would pass.
Thanks, hon.
Gin.
Huh? Oh, come on, guy.
Gee-ma-ninny, you're killing me.
10, 18, 24, 28.
[TV Announcer] For those of
you who were looking skyward
earlier this evening,
you might have observed
this spectacular landing
at Linda Vista Airport.
Grace Minash has the story.
No, this isn't a war movie,
and the old bomber
you're watching
hasn't been hit
by anti-aircraft fire.
Instead of the bombs
this B-25 carried
in World War II,
the cargo this time
was Christmas
trees from Colombia
that somehow caught
fire in the cargo hold.
By the time the old
plane touched down,
the trees were a
smoldering ruin.
We got those
photos of the landing
thanks to an amateur
photographer,
but missed the fire.
The pilot and his
plane are gone,
apparently no worse for wear,
but the trees won't light up
any children's eyes
Christmas morning.
This is Grace Minash,
Channel 3 news.
Did you see that?
That's her.
Well, did you see the
way the nose dipped
just as she was coming in?
Well, that's her. I'd know
that beauty anywhere.
That's her.
Irish.
We better call the police.
No, don't overreact. Maybe
it won't be so bad this time.
We can't just let him go.
This time, he might
hurt somebody.
Are your eyes closed tight?
Yes, Mom.
Okay. Keep them shut.
Mm-hm.
How many times has
Mr. Kelly done this, Mrs. Vogel?
Oh, I see.
I can understand your concern.
Yes, that's quite
a pattern. Yes.
Okay.
Now you can look.
Little understaffed
for a softball team.
- Bowling.
- Bowling.
- You're sponsoring us.
- [laughs]
Every night, they
have league games,
and we can never get an alley,
so we came up with this idea.
Uh-huh.
Oh, and it's good advertising.
My husband tripled his
rug cleaning business
with a league team.
Just think how well he could do
if he sponsored another one.
Come on, Rick.
On Friday nights, it's mixed,
so both of you can
come and bowl with us.
I'm busy on Friday nights.
Besides, how much
is this going to cost us?
Oh, it's hardly
worth mentioning.
Mention it anyway.
Yes. No, no, don't
worry, Mrs. Vogel.
We'll come right over. We'll
have a nice chat with Irish.
We know exactly how
to handle these things.
Yes. We're on our way.
Look, about the shoes...
Very important
case, Mom. Got to go.
- The shoes...
- Yeah. Excuse me, Mom.
We're in.
Irish, please.
Not today, buddy.
Just wait. Don't you think
we could talk this over?
No time for that. I got
a feeling this is the one.
You said that about every
B-25 you've ever traced.
Who are you going
to talk to out there?
I'm going to talk to
whoever I have to,
and I'm going to talk
real loudly this time.
What are you doing with a gun?
Is this thing loaded?
Honey, I know what I'm doing.
I'm not a silly old man.
Irish, you are being
a silly old man.
What are you
doing with that gun?
Don't... Wait. Irish, stop.
Stop it. Don't do
anything stupid.
Oh.
Mrs. Vogel? How do you do?
Oh. Stop him, hurry.
He's got a gun, and he's
going after the Betty Grable.
All right, ma'am. Just
calm down. Tell us...
No, no, we don't have
any time for that. Just go.
Your fees, I'll pay whatever. Just
make sure he doesn't hurt anybody.
- Hey, we're gone.
- Where are we going?
Linda Vista Field. He's
on his way out there.
Please, go. Get out of here.
Carlos told me all
about this place.
Very heavy in the
import-export business.
Night landings, no lights.
No receipts.
How does Carlos know?
He knows. That's all.
Does look a little informal.
It's the kind of place,
when you're ready for take-off,
the controller
just says beat it.
Listen A.J., remember,
we had a deal.
No more crazies.
Mr. Kelly isn't crazy.
He's just upset.
Come on. Mrs. Vogel said
he's a great grandfather.
He probably drinks warm
milk and plays checkers.
Right.
Where is she?
Mister, the pilot flew it
out of here yesterday.
That's all I know.
Now will you put that thing away
before you hurt yourself?
I'm a patient man,
but my friend
here's a little itchy.
Where did the pilot take her?
I'll count to five.
One. Two.
- Three.
- Hi, Irish.
What? Who are you?
Hey, what... Give me that back.
- You guys with this old coot?
- Sort of.
Well, get that old
loon out of here.
Who you calling an old loon?
Come on, come on.
Get your hands off me.
Look, Mr. Kelly, I think we
ought to have a talk, right now.
Hey gramps, come to think of it,
I do know where your B-25 is.
Last time I saw it, they
were firebombing Tokyo.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, no, no, no. Come on.
Come on, Irish. Come on.
No, no, that's it.
That's it. Come on.
Minding my own business,
then you two jokers
poke your snoots in.
You could have been
minding your own business
for a couple of years in jail.
That was assault
with a deadly weapon.
Wasn't loaded.
All right, look, Irish.
Let's just calm down
the .45 caliber temper.
We're going to introduce
ourselves right now.
I'm A.J. Simon.
Rick Simon.
Private investigators hired
by your granddaughter.
Well, I'll be.
That sweet little thing
finally convinced that
blockhead husband of hers.
You boys are going to help me
find Betty Grable, right?
Well, actually...
That calls for a celebration.
That your car?
Yeah, let's go in this one.
Oh, that's very nice,
fellows. Come on.
Saddle up, men.
Boy, I've ridden in
tighter cockpits than this.
Come on, Long John.
Oh, no, get out of here, Kelly.
You know, don't you, Arch,
Grable showed
her legs yesterday.
I wondered how long it
was going to take you.
We see the news too, you know.
This time, I got tail gunners.
Meet Simon and
Schuster, private eyes.
Kelly, I love you
like my brother.
Even more than my
brother, the monkey neck.
But why don't you
leave right now
and save us both a lot of grief?
I paid for the
damages. Big deal.
A couple of busted bar stools.
You know you always
hated that beer wagon clock.
What do you do
when some nickel nose
tells you you belong
in a cracker factory?
It's true. The guy deserved it.
You don't raise your
voice louder than mine,
you don't throw anything
that ain't nailed down,
and you got a three-drink limit.
A little warm milk
to make you sleep.
Scotch, to cut the cholesterol.
At my age, you can't be too
careful with that sort of stuff.
You two really going to
help him find that old bomber?
Well, our arrangement's
with his granddaughter.
Cancel it. You're my crew now.
We decide who we work for.
Right now, we're working
for your granddaughter.
From where we sit,
it looks like that job
is almost finished.
Fine. That means
you're available.
Look, Irish, I used to
work for Uncle Sam too,
and I'm going to
tell you right now,
you're not able to
afford us on a G.I. bill.
With all the back
pay I got coming,
I can afford a
squadron of you guys.
I'm so close. Man, I'm so close.
I know it's her this time.
If I don't find her
now, I'll never find her.
Irish, I want to
ride in that old girl,
and I'm willing to pay for it.
But we're also going
to find a way to make
a few bucks with her.
Now, I'll stake you,
and we'll go 50/50
after you find her.
It's a deal. Welcome
aboard, co-pilot.
Now we can afford you.
What do you say, Schuster?
I think I want to know
just exactly how
long this bridge is
before I burn it.
Okay, I'll tell you.
At the end of the war,
I was running supplies
over the Burma hub.
Those 25s weren't
much on bulk cargo,
so everything we
carried was priority.
Drugs and other
medical supplies,
codebooks.
Gold for Chang's army.
Then, this one day,
my crew decided
they were going to
take a little detour.
Seems they'd made a deal
with some Burmese warlord
to sell him the Betty Grable,
everything in her belly.
They handed me a parachute,
pushed me out over the jungle.
I busted my leg,
wandered around in the
jungle feverish for over a month
before some villagers
got me back to my base.
By this time, they decided
that the Betty Grable
had been shot down.
That's what they thought.
Made it official.
Here, here, you want to see
some of my crew?
This is my crew, man.
For all I know, they
may be dead by now.
Smith, Haney, Farley, Burrows.
Burrows engineered
the whole thing.
He stuck a gun in my ear,
just as though we'd never
flown all those
missions together.
That's the guy I want to get.
[man] You know, that plane
came in out of nowhere.
Made the evening
news, then it was gone.
So what? Who cares?
Besides, it's a real long shot.
The Betty Grable's
scrap metal by now.
And even if she isn't,
even if that plane
turns out to be her,
nobody's looking.
Irish Kelly'd be looking.
That old buzzard's
probably dead by now.
Look, the Air Force
closed the case in '46.
We did it, Don. We're free.
So stop worrying.
Yeah, well, I want to stay free.
I got a lot to lose.
And so do you, tycoon.
All right, if you
have to, go ahead.
But very quietly.
You understand?
[Mrs. Vogel] Good morning.
Hi.
That was a really fine
job you two did. Thanks.
Irish is still asleep upstairs.
I really don't think we're going
to be needing you anymore.
Actually, Mrs. Vogel, there's something
we'd like to talk to you about if we may.
Hm. He's got you
hooked too, huh?
Well actually, right now
we're just a little
confused about everything.
A friend of ours at
the naval air station
ran a records check.
Came up with a lot of stuff
about the Betty
Grable and her crew.
All missing, by the
way. Presumed dead.
He also came up with this...
Court-martial of one
Captain Daniel Kelly.
He didn't do it, you know.
Did you read that part?
The Army didn't have a case.
They just had a scapegoat.
I know it point by point.
I'm sure you do, Mrs. Vogel.
But we didn't come here
to debate the case with you.
The case has been
closed for almost 40 years.
Not for Irish, it's not.
He flew over 32 missions,
got the DFC for crying out loud,
and do you think the Army cared?
No. No wonder he
goes off the deep end
every time he sees a B-25.
He also went off the deep
end at his court-martial.
"Question. Don't you
feel the least remorse
about the men you
abandoned to enemy fire?
Answer. Expletive deleted.
No. They're the ones
you ought to be after,
the dirty expletive deleted.
You are all a bunch of
dirty expletives deleted."
Calling the court a bunch
of dirty expletives deleted
was not really the best way
for your grandfather
to stay out of jail.
Were you in jail, Grandpa?
No, they were just
telling stories about...
Honey.
Yeah, Kyle, I was in jail,
a long time ago,
and they were wrong.
I didn't do what they said.
That's good.
But we still have to
make them believe it.
That's why I got to
find the Betty Grable.
Are you going to help me?
Sure.
Well?
Could be.
It was definitely a 25.
They don't know where it went.
But that's not the worst part.
Oh, I'd love to
hear the worst part.
There was a guy
out there yesterday.
An old guy, kind of crazy.
They called him Irish.
Shouldn't have given
him that parachute.
Mom, why didn't you
mark all these boxes?
Has it all been
marked the same way...
Rick's junk, more
of Rick's junk?
How could I know you'd
want those airplanes?
You haven't mentioned
them in 20 years.
Will you please stop throwing
everything on the floor?
Sorry.
You sure you kept them?
I think so.
It seems to me A.J.
blew some of them
up with firecrackers.
When did you do that?
Uh, '59, '60?
It was just the Luftwaffe.
It was just the... Ah!
Oh, A.J., look.
Mr. Kelly, A.J. wore this
on Halloween when he was six.
Mom, can we get back to
the business at hand, please?
[laughs]
Rick, remember this?
Ah, yeah, yeah.
Look, this is...
It's serious stuff.
He wore this for two months,
and if you called him
Rick instead of Hopalong,
he wouldn't answer.
When was that? It
must have been...
Last year.
Ah, bingo.
Ah hah. Here we go.
Yeah.
Is this it?
B-24.
- Hey, what's the difference?
- 4 engines.
25's got 2.
Ah. Here we go.
Oh, yeah. That's the B.
[whistles "Tuxedo Junction"]
Twin engines, twin tail rudders.
Nine gun mounts.
[whistles "Tuxedo Junction"]
[both] ♪ Tuxedo Junction now ♪
Even had a model
called it the G model.
It had a 75 millimeter
camera right here in the nose.
What was the model you flew?
D, just like this.
Why do you need this?
So A.J. and I know
what we're looking for.
That's what you got me for.
No, we'll bring
you in afterwards
to make a positive ID.
I don't like that. I want
to be with you all the time.
No, it's against our policy
to put the client in jeopardy.
Ah, come on.
I can take care of myself.
You saw the way I
paralyzed that guy.
All right, let's turn it around.
We'll put it the other way.
It's against our policy
to put our information sources
in jeopardy from our clients.
What information sources?
Remember that load of
Colombian Christmas trees
that came in on the 25?
Yeah. I been thinking,
what the hell kind
of cargo was that?
Well, you know Christmas trees.
It's what you find
under them that counts.
[airplane noises]
[Rick] You know, Bubba,
you have very, very pretty eyes.
Stuff it and get to the point.
You ever been to Costa del Baño?
Is it a hotel?
It's a country.
The general is very
anxious to get back there.
How come?
He wants to keep it
safe from democracy.
A noble ambition.
He needs a ride.
Who told you I'd care?
The Snowman.
Oh. You must be a recent
immigrant from Terminal Island.
Six weeks.
When's the Snowman getting out?
[laughs]
If he really behaves himself,
he ought to be back
in business by, oh, '96.
I might be able
to get your general
as far as Rio, for half price.
He has some cargo.
Describe it for me.
Oh, good, he's here.
I'll just let him tell
you all about it himself.
Who's here?
Sveback.
Who's that?
Sveback?
The madman from Munich.
The world's
top-dollar mercenary.
He's the general's liaison.
You be careful with
him, because he's a killer.
Okay?
Just whatever you do,
do not mention Zimbabwe.
[German]
Uh, he also thinks that
you have very pretty eyes.
[German]
What's he saying?
Uh, he wants to know
if you've ever been to Paraguay.
Never mind where I've been.
Where's this general of yours?
Herr General is not far.
He is houseguest.
One of your former presidents.
How is the general?
He was so depressed last week.
His heart really
is with his people.
[German]
He is much better, thank you.
Good, good.
He shot a 42 on the back 9.
Ah.
Will you get to the point?
Herr General desires
a certain aircraft.
Something sort of...
U-haul... Something so...
Um... [German]
- Funky.
- Something funky,
and something also ex-militarish
would be very nice.
And what's the cargo?
Ah, assortment of small arms,
some defoliants,
some Xerox machine.
Of course his monkey.
Ah, don't forget
about the, uh... device.
Ah, ja.
There are also two trunks
which must be kept a
precise distance apart.
Why?
[loudly] Because
they are the two trunks
which must be kept a
precise distance apart!
No problem.
Except that I'm
philosophically opposed to war.
Once Herr General
has the two trunks
in Costa del Baño,
there will be no war.
Herr General believes in
peace through intimidation.
I hope you are not also
philosophically opposed
to peace through intimidation.
$50,000 could eliminate any
lingering doubts I might have.
Zer gut.
I shall inform Herr General.
I trust there shall
be no problem.
What I'm going to
tell you is hypothetical.
[German]
[German]
[German]
If... If there was a guy that
was right for your needs,
could be he's flying into
Linda Vista Field tomorrow.
Could also be he owns
a World War II bomber.
Would that be the right size?
Wunderbar.
And if there were such a person,
how would his name be called?
Ted Ostrow.
Zer gut.
On behalf of Herr
General and his people,
vielen dank.
Perhaps after the coronation,
you would be so
kind as to come down,
visit Herr General in his villa.
Pass. I'm allergic to bananas.
You just bring Ostrow to me.
I'll be here around
noon, and I'll wait.
I think we can work out a deal.
Wunderbar.
- Irish.
- Come on Rick, we got to go.
- Irish.
- [Irish speaks on the phone]
Look, just tell him
we're on our way.
All right, hey... hey, Irish.
Irish.
Rick, just tell him.
Hey, hey...
Look, for heaven sakes,
give me the phone.
All right, hotshot. You try.
All right, now Irish,
just listen. I just...
I don't even know why I'm
arguing with you about this.
If you think I'm going
to miss out on this one...
Irish, shut up and listen.
You will not go out there
until you hear from us.
You will stick by the phone.
If it's a B-25, we will
call you right away.
Goodbye, Irish.
[knocks]
Oh.
Yes?
My name's Ed Beckwith.
I'm an investigator with
the Federal Aviation Agency.
May I talk to you for a minute?
Uh, yeah. Could
you make it fast,
because we're on our way out.
We have reason to believe
that Linda Vista Field
is receiving
sub-rosa deliveries.
Now, I've been
assigned to stake it out,
posing as a pilot for hire.
Fine. What's that
got to do with us?
That fellow Irish
was a pretty disruptive
force out there yesterday.
Now, the FAA would appreciate it
if you could just keep
him away from there
until our investigation
is completed.
That's all been taken care of.
We're handling it for him now.
Are you going out
to Linda Vista again?
Yeah, we're on our
way there right now.
What's his interest
in this B-25?
That's confidential.
Look, we will work with you.
All we want to do is
check out this B-25.
This one's supposed to
be coming in right now.
We want to identify
it for our client.
You want to come,
that's all right.
But you got to make up your
mind. It's after 8, we got to go.
- Let's go.
- All right.
[Rick] Put that back.
[airplane noises]
Weren't those guys
out here yesterday?
[Beckwith] Yeah, they're just a
couple of pilots waiting for action.
What time is that B-25 due in?
Could be any time.
We appreciate
your covering for us.
Well, that's one you owe me.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
- Oh, no.
- Which one?
Damn it, Irish.
How'd you guys recognize me?
Lucky guess.
The shoes.
What did we tell you?
If you think I'm
going to stay at home
and wait, you're crazy.
What's happening?
Nothing is happening.
Now will you please go
on and get out of here?
Forget it, Schuster.
This may be it.
That's no B-25.
Damn waste of time.
Well, see there. You should have
stayed home like you were supposed to.
Somebody has got to
find the Betty Grable,
and you guys don't
seem to be too competent.
You had 27 years.
We've only had two days.
I'm going to have a
little chat with that pilot.
No you are not.
You go out there,
you're going to screw
up everything for us.
Now, do you want
our help or not?
Make up your mind.
I'll wait right here.
Everything all right?
Take a look.
Hi.
You know when Ostrow's due in?
Who wants to know?
Bubba says you might
be able to help us.
[police siren wails]
Up.
Okay, all right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Well, Ostrow, your
luck finally ran out.
Hey, what...
What are you hauling this time?
Cocaine or just a little grass?
[birds chirp]
What's the rap for
contraband parakeets?
They'll let us know
at the arraignment.
You fellows sure your
mom is coming to get you?
- Oh, yeah. She'll be here.
- She's used to this.
- You're fired.
- Honey, it's not their fault.
Be quiet, darling.
You fellows ever
get out of there,
I'm still interested.
Okay.
Ed Beckwith confirm our story?
Who?
[together] Beckwith.
Beckwith. You know,
come on, come on, come on.
Just because you got a
bunch of anemic parakeets
instead of your dope
doesn't mean you
have to hassle us.
Don't know any Beckwith.
Yeah, you do. The FAA guy.
Medium height, blue eyes?
- Yeah.
- That's the one.
Name isn't Beckwith.
You say he's with the FAA.
He says he's a pilot.
He also says he doesn't
know you guys from Adam.
He's lying. Where is he?
His bail was posted
ten minutes ago.
Let's go. Come on, let's go.
Let them out.
Hi, Mom.
Come on, let's go.
I'm late for practice.
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Where's the plane
now? Do you know?
Yeah, they have an air
show at 29 Palms today.
Can we rent a plane around here?
It's not that far.
You can drive it
in a couple hours.
Yeah, but I'd like to get
there as quick as possible.
Crown Aviation's
the closest place.
Remember, you run across
Rick and A.J. Simon again,
you got amnesia.
Oh, yeah. I can feel it
coming over me right now.
What's your interest
in that old plane?
Thing doesn't fly
any good anymore.
When I brought her
up here from Peru,
she almost put me in the drink.
Our interest is
purely sentimental.
Take a left at the next corner.
Hello, Bubba.
How's the general's monkey?
Get the hell out of here.
We don't do business with PIs.
Oh, we're not talking
about doing business.
We're talking about scrambling
one or more of your vital organs.
You're not going
to shoot me in here.
Hey, Arch?
Yo?
Okay if I shoot
this guy in here?
Sure. Let me go lock the door.
Where's the B-25?
I sold it.
To who?
The Cremony Flying Circus.
What is Ed Beckwith to you?
Nobody.
A couple of friends of his
posted my bail and paid me off
to keep my mouth
shut about the plane.
Why?
They didn't say.
- What were their names?
- I don't know.
- [gun clicks]
- Come on.
I'm telling you,
man, I don't know.
I didn't ask, and
they didn't say.
How old were they?
Sixties, maybe.
Where is this flying circus?
29 Palms.
- For how long?
- I don't know.
You know, you look
better with your scar.
How'd you like it back?
Have a nice day.
Good luck.
Thanks, Arch.
- Irish.
- Irish.
Irish, hey.
You are not going along.
The hell I'm not.
What are you guys
doing here anyway?
I hire you to do a simple thing
like keep him out of
trouble for one day,
and he winds up in jail.
I told you, Christy,
it's not their fault.
That doesn't make
any difference.
I was against
this from the start.
You fellows have been
fired, and that's that.
They're on my payroll now, Pete.
And we will do the job.
You just tell us
how to identify her.
Can I go, Mom?
No. Nobody's going.
- I am.
- Wait, look, Irish.
If the guys that
bailed out Ostrow
really are members of your crew,
there could be trouble.
You're not going,
darling. That's it.
Christy, he's your son.
I'm your grandfather.
The advantage I have over him,
he has to do what you say.
I don't.
You fellows coming,
or I have to hitchhike?
Irish, I don't want you to go.
I don't want you to go, either.
I don't want you to go.
I think we'd better go.
Come on, Simon, pass this truck.
He's holding us up.
We should have taken
your car, Schuster.
Would you mind not
calling me Schuster?
- What's your name?
- Simon.
Oh, you're Schuster.
Why didn't you say so?
Ah, what's in a name?
Listen, you think
you'd recognize
any of your crew if you saw them
after all these years?
I'd know Burrows.
We shared the same
quarters for 18 months.
I'm not sure about the others.
I hope to hell one
of them is Burrows.
If you recognize anybody,
you just let us know about it.
You stay out of it.
Oh, sure.
Well, Mr. Krotter, for
that kind of money,
how can I say no?
Of course, I want to take
a closer look at her first.
Oh, you be my guest.
She's all yours if you want her.
Go see if you can find
some paint remover.
Think you can fly her?
Yeah. Where to?
The ocean. I want
you to ditch her.
Cost you a bundle.
I figured that.
When?
Soon as it gets dark.
No way.
I'm not going to bail out
at night over the water.
Don't worry. I'll have
a boat pick you up.
Let's go plot a course
with the chopper.
First, I'm going to
go buy this sucker.
What happened to
the rest of the crew?
Well, Haney's dead.
Steve Smith's a gun
runner in South America,
last I heard.
It was a one-plane
mission. No cover.
We came in at
five thousand feet,
dropped two and
a half tons of GPs
on the walls
surrounding Mandalay.
What are GPs?
General purpose bombs.
Why, we tore that
wall a new one.
The British Crown
troops poured in.
Colonel Okasawa fell
on his seppuku knife.
Come on, come
on. Let's step on it.
There she is.
Stop here.
I want to be alone with
her for a minute, fellows.
Come on.
Come on, guys.
What did I tell you?
I knew it was her.
I'd know this baby anywhere.
Hey, Irish, wait up.
Hey, how's she feel?
She changed much?
Buttons for the
nose guns are gone.
I guess she doesn't run
a whole lot of bombing
missions lately.
Otherwise, she
looks pretty good.
Yeah?
Let's see how she sounds.
Uh, Irish...
I don't know. We
shouldn't be doing this.
Let her hum a little bit, boys.
[engines sputter]
Come on, baby.
Irish, uh...
Let's see how
this handles on us.
I don't know, Irish.
Hold on, baby.
Come on, babe.
Looks like she's
catching over there.
That a girl.
Yeah, there she
goes. There she goes.
Let's see how she
is in action, boys.
No. No. Come on, Irish.
Come on, Irish. No.
Irish.
He's taking off. Swing
around in front of him.
What are you doing
with that thing?
You can't bring down a B-25.
If you hit the pilot, you can.
Irish, look out.
[gunshots]
Look out, look out.
There's a helicopter.
That's Burrows.
Get to your stations, men.
What stations?
Co-pilot. Schuster,
you're waist gunner.
I don't know how
to fly one of these.
How long has it been
since you've flown one?
It's like riding a bicycle.
I do not want to hear that.
Get to your guns.
Aye aye, captain.
[electricity sparks]
What's that?
It's all right. Don't
worry about it.
Get the flaps up.
Flaps?
Get them damn flaps up.
You want Betty to
fly like a gooney bird?
Ah.
Here, take over.
Hold it 1-8-0 degrees.
What?
[gunshots]
What the hell's the matter
with that damn thing?
Bullet must have ruptured
the main hydraulic system.
Irish.
Irish.
You know, I used
to keep... I... well...
I'll be damned.
Will you look at that?
- Irish.
- Kid, you like a little nip?
No, Irish. Please take over.
Sure you don't
want a little nip?
Hold it steady, boy.
Hold it steady, boy.
All right, now you got it.
I got it.
Turn loose the damn wheel.
[gunshots]
They're underneath us.
Hey A.J., you guys
hear me up there?
Hey, yeah, Rick. I can hear you.
Can you do anything back there?
Well, I figure this
thing's a bomber, right?
Hold on. They hit the rotor.
Hey, A.J.
Yo.
Bull's-eye.
Good.
Mayday, mayday.
This is the B-25 Betty Grable.
Mayday, Lindbergh Field. Over.
This is Lindbergh.
We read you five
by five. Mayday.
Could I have that ID again?
This is the Betty Grable.
Our course is 1-8-0 degrees.
Request emergency
landing instructions.
My hydraulic system is out.
Okay, Betty Grable.
We've got you on radar.
You have clearance on runway 31.
Runway 31, how do you read?
Loud and clear.
Everything under
control up here, guys?
It's that hydraulic leak.
We can't get enough pressure
on the primary system
to get the gear down.
Is that bad?
Nah.
Well, not usually.
Seems to me my
back-up hydraulic system
went out once over New Britain.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's an emergency pump.
That's good.
Somewhere.
Oh, come on, Irish.
Think. This is the Betty Grable.
This is your baby.
You know her like
you know your lover.
We haven't made love
in a long time, boys.
Just look back there.
It's around there somewhere.
Come on, look around.
Lindbergh Field, Betty Grable.
Can you tell me where the
emergency landing system
is located on a B-25?
Uh.
Negative, Betty Grable.
Ah.
Then get Arch
McBride over there.
[phone rings]
[phone rings]
Yeah?
Arch's Hangar.
I'll be right there.
Irish is bringing
the Betty Grable in.
[applause]
Irish, what does it look like?
Huh?
I said, what does it look like?
I don't know. I
remember it's red.
Red, red. Okay. Red.
Is it big? Is it little?
There's a lot of red
stuff back here, Irish.
Well, it's, uh... I
don't remember.
Does it look like this?
Yeah. That's it.
Looks like that, and red.
It's a lever. It's red.
I don't see it, Irish.
Well, look.
I'm looking.
Betty Grable, we've got Arch.
[pants]
Yeah, Betty Grable.
Now listen, Irish.
The manual hydraulic
emergency pump
on a B-25 model D
is mounted on the rear
side of the cockpit bulkhead,
behind the co-pilot.
Okay, I got it.
Thanks, Arch.
How we doing?
Keep pumping.
How we doing?
Keep pumping.
I'm pumping, I'm pumping.
Okay.
You can stop.
Stop.
Figure it out?
Arch, the landing gear is down.
We're on approach.
Roger, Betty Grable.
We've just gotten word
that that helicopter
that fired on you
has crash-landed safely,
and its passengers are
being detained by police.
Easy for them. All
they had to do was fall.
[laughs]
[fire engines honk]
[sirens wail]
Get your nose up, Betty Grable.
Roger.
Align your wings.
You're not parallel.
Roger.
Okay, okay. Now
you're looking good.
Reduce speed.
All right, boys.
Here we go. Grab
on to something.
Not that.
[siren wails]
Okay. All right.
Ah.
Son of a gun.
Woo.
This is one good airplane.
Ah. Can we get out of it now?
Yeah, yeah.
Ah.
Oh.
[laughs]
Irish, you got her down.
What the hell did
you think I'd do?
How you doing, Betty?
Long time no see.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
[Narrator] Tonight,
on Simon and Simon.
No more crazies.
Mrs. Vogel said he's
a great grandfather.
He probably drinks warm
milk and plays checkers.
Scotch, to cut the cholesterol.
You say he's with the FAA.
He says he doesn't
know you guys from Adam.
[A.J.] I don't know
how to fly one of these.
How long has it been
since you've flown one?
- It's like
riding a bicycle.
- I don't want to hear this.
I don't want to hear it.
[gunshot]
Get to your guns.
Aye aye, Captain.
♪♪ [theme music]
[TV plays]
Grandpa, you sure you
don't want any coffee?
No. I want some luck.
[TV Announcer] But until today,
there was little hope it would pass.
Thanks, hon.
Gin.
Huh? Oh, come on, guy.
Gee-ma-ninny, you're killing me.
10, 18, 24, 28.
[TV Announcer] For those of
you who were looking skyward
earlier this evening,
you might have observed
this spectacular landing
at Linda Vista Airport.
Grace Minash has the story.
No, this isn't a war movie,
and the old bomber
you're watching
hasn't been hit
by anti-aircraft fire.
Instead of the bombs
this B-25 carried
in World War II,
the cargo this time
was Christmas
trees from Colombia
that somehow caught
fire in the cargo hold.
By the time the old
plane touched down,
the trees were a
smoldering ruin.
We got those
photos of the landing
thanks to an amateur
photographer,
but missed the fire.
The pilot and his
plane are gone,
apparently no worse for wear,
but the trees won't light up
any children's eyes
Christmas morning.
This is Grace Minash,
Channel 3 news.
Did you see that?
That's her.
Well, did you see the
way the nose dipped
just as she was coming in?
Well, that's her. I'd know
that beauty anywhere.
That's her.
Irish.
We better call the police.
No, don't overreact. Maybe
it won't be so bad this time.
We can't just let him go.
This time, he might
hurt somebody.
Are your eyes closed tight?
Yes, Mom.
Okay. Keep them shut.
Mm-hm.
How many times has
Mr. Kelly done this, Mrs. Vogel?
Oh, I see.
I can understand your concern.
Yes, that's quite
a pattern. Yes.
Okay.
Now you can look.
Little understaffed
for a softball team.
- Bowling.
- Bowling.
- You're sponsoring us.
- [laughs]
Every night, they
have league games,
and we can never get an alley,
so we came up with this idea.
Uh-huh.
Oh, and it's good advertising.
My husband tripled his
rug cleaning business
with a league team.
Just think how well he could do
if he sponsored another one.
Come on, Rick.
On Friday nights, it's mixed,
so both of you can
come and bowl with us.
I'm busy on Friday nights.
Besides, how much
is this going to cost us?
Oh, it's hardly
worth mentioning.
Mention it anyway.
Yes. No, no, don't
worry, Mrs. Vogel.
We'll come right over. We'll
have a nice chat with Irish.
We know exactly how
to handle these things.
Yes. We're on our way.
Look, about the shoes...
Very important
case, Mom. Got to go.
- The shoes...
- Yeah. Excuse me, Mom.
We're in.
Irish, please.
Not today, buddy.
Just wait. Don't you think
we could talk this over?
No time for that. I got
a feeling this is the one.
You said that about every
B-25 you've ever traced.
Who are you going
to talk to out there?
I'm going to talk to
whoever I have to,
and I'm going to talk
real loudly this time.
What are you doing with a gun?
Is this thing loaded?
Honey, I know what I'm doing.
I'm not a silly old man.
Irish, you are being
a silly old man.
What are you
doing with that gun?
Don't... Wait. Irish, stop.
Stop it. Don't do
anything stupid.
Oh.
Mrs. Vogel? How do you do?
Oh. Stop him, hurry.
He's got a gun, and he's
going after the Betty Grable.
All right, ma'am. Just
calm down. Tell us...
No, no, we don't have
any time for that. Just go.
Your fees, I'll pay whatever. Just
make sure he doesn't hurt anybody.
- Hey, we're gone.
- Where are we going?
Linda Vista Field. He's
on his way out there.
Please, go. Get out of here.
Carlos told me all
about this place.
Very heavy in the
import-export business.
Night landings, no lights.
No receipts.
How does Carlos know?
He knows. That's all.
Does look a little informal.
It's the kind of place,
when you're ready for take-off,
the controller
just says beat it.
Listen A.J., remember,
we had a deal.
No more crazies.
Mr. Kelly isn't crazy.
He's just upset.
Come on. Mrs. Vogel said
he's a great grandfather.
He probably drinks warm
milk and plays checkers.
Right.
Where is she?
Mister, the pilot flew it
out of here yesterday.
That's all I know.
Now will you put that thing away
before you hurt yourself?
I'm a patient man,
but my friend
here's a little itchy.
Where did the pilot take her?
I'll count to five.
One. Two.
- Three.
- Hi, Irish.
What? Who are you?
Hey, what... Give me that back.
- You guys with this old coot?
- Sort of.
Well, get that old
loon out of here.
Who you calling an old loon?
Come on, come on.
Get your hands off me.
Look, Mr. Kelly, I think we
ought to have a talk, right now.
Hey gramps, come to think of it,
I do know where your B-25 is.
Last time I saw it, they
were firebombing Tokyo.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, no, no, no. Come on.
Come on, Irish. Come on.
No, no, that's it.
That's it. Come on.
Minding my own business,
then you two jokers
poke your snoots in.
You could have been
minding your own business
for a couple of years in jail.
That was assault
with a deadly weapon.
Wasn't loaded.
All right, look, Irish.
Let's just calm down
the .45 caliber temper.
We're going to introduce
ourselves right now.
I'm A.J. Simon.
Rick Simon.
Private investigators hired
by your granddaughter.
Well, I'll be.
That sweet little thing
finally convinced that
blockhead husband of hers.
You boys are going to help me
find Betty Grable, right?
Well, actually...
That calls for a celebration.
That your car?
Yeah, let's go in this one.
Oh, that's very nice,
fellows. Come on.
Saddle up, men.
Boy, I've ridden in
tighter cockpits than this.
Come on, Long John.
Oh, no, get out of here, Kelly.
You know, don't you, Arch,
Grable showed
her legs yesterday.
I wondered how long it
was going to take you.
We see the news too, you know.
This time, I got tail gunners.
Meet Simon and
Schuster, private eyes.
Kelly, I love you
like my brother.
Even more than my
brother, the monkey neck.
But why don't you
leave right now
and save us both a lot of grief?
I paid for the
damages. Big deal.
A couple of busted bar stools.
You know you always
hated that beer wagon clock.
What do you do
when some nickel nose
tells you you belong
in a cracker factory?
It's true. The guy deserved it.
You don't raise your
voice louder than mine,
you don't throw anything
that ain't nailed down,
and you got a three-drink limit.
A little warm milk
to make you sleep.
Scotch, to cut the cholesterol.
At my age, you can't be too
careful with that sort of stuff.
You two really going to
help him find that old bomber?
Well, our arrangement's
with his granddaughter.
Cancel it. You're my crew now.
We decide who we work for.
Right now, we're working
for your granddaughter.
From where we sit,
it looks like that job
is almost finished.
Fine. That means
you're available.
Look, Irish, I used to
work for Uncle Sam too,
and I'm going to
tell you right now,
you're not able to
afford us on a G.I. bill.
With all the back
pay I got coming,
I can afford a
squadron of you guys.
I'm so close. Man, I'm so close.
I know it's her this time.
If I don't find her
now, I'll never find her.
Irish, I want to
ride in that old girl,
and I'm willing to pay for it.
But we're also going
to find a way to make
a few bucks with her.
Now, I'll stake you,
and we'll go 50/50
after you find her.
It's a deal. Welcome
aboard, co-pilot.
Now we can afford you.
What do you say, Schuster?
I think I want to know
just exactly how
long this bridge is
before I burn it.
Okay, I'll tell you.
At the end of the war,
I was running supplies
over the Burma hub.
Those 25s weren't
much on bulk cargo,
so everything we
carried was priority.
Drugs and other
medical supplies,
codebooks.
Gold for Chang's army.
Then, this one day,
my crew decided
they were going to
take a little detour.
Seems they'd made a deal
with some Burmese warlord
to sell him the Betty Grable,
everything in her belly.
They handed me a parachute,
pushed me out over the jungle.
I busted my leg,
wandered around in the
jungle feverish for over a month
before some villagers
got me back to my base.
By this time, they decided
that the Betty Grable
had been shot down.
That's what they thought.
Made it official.
Here, here, you want to see
some of my crew?
This is my crew, man.
For all I know, they
may be dead by now.
Smith, Haney, Farley, Burrows.
Burrows engineered
the whole thing.
He stuck a gun in my ear,
just as though we'd never
flown all those
missions together.
That's the guy I want to get.
[man] You know, that plane
came in out of nowhere.
Made the evening
news, then it was gone.
So what? Who cares?
Besides, it's a real long shot.
The Betty Grable's
scrap metal by now.
And even if she isn't,
even if that plane
turns out to be her,
nobody's looking.
Irish Kelly'd be looking.
That old buzzard's
probably dead by now.
Look, the Air Force
closed the case in '46.
We did it, Don. We're free.
So stop worrying.
Yeah, well, I want to stay free.
I got a lot to lose.
And so do you, tycoon.
All right, if you
have to, go ahead.
But very quietly.
You understand?
[Mrs. Vogel] Good morning.
Hi.
That was a really fine
job you two did. Thanks.
Irish is still asleep upstairs.
I really don't think we're going
to be needing you anymore.
Actually, Mrs. Vogel, there's something
we'd like to talk to you about if we may.
Hm. He's got you
hooked too, huh?
Well actually, right now
we're just a little
confused about everything.
A friend of ours at
the naval air station
ran a records check.
Came up with a lot of stuff
about the Betty
Grable and her crew.
All missing, by the
way. Presumed dead.
He also came up with this...
Court-martial of one
Captain Daniel Kelly.
He didn't do it, you know.
Did you read that part?
The Army didn't have a case.
They just had a scapegoat.
I know it point by point.
I'm sure you do, Mrs. Vogel.
But we didn't come here
to debate the case with you.
The case has been
closed for almost 40 years.
Not for Irish, it's not.
He flew over 32 missions,
got the DFC for crying out loud,
and do you think the Army cared?
No. No wonder he
goes off the deep end
every time he sees a B-25.
He also went off the deep
end at his court-martial.
"Question. Don't you
feel the least remorse
about the men you
abandoned to enemy fire?
Answer. Expletive deleted.
No. They're the ones
you ought to be after,
the dirty expletive deleted.
You are all a bunch of
dirty expletives deleted."
Calling the court a bunch
of dirty expletives deleted
was not really the best way
for your grandfather
to stay out of jail.
Were you in jail, Grandpa?
No, they were just
telling stories about...
Honey.
Yeah, Kyle, I was in jail,
a long time ago,
and they were wrong.
I didn't do what they said.
That's good.
But we still have to
make them believe it.
That's why I got to
find the Betty Grable.
Are you going to help me?
Sure.
Well?
Could be.
It was definitely a 25.
They don't know where it went.
But that's not the worst part.
Oh, I'd love to
hear the worst part.
There was a guy
out there yesterday.
An old guy, kind of crazy.
They called him Irish.
Shouldn't have given
him that parachute.
Mom, why didn't you
mark all these boxes?
Has it all been
marked the same way...
Rick's junk, more
of Rick's junk?
How could I know you'd
want those airplanes?
You haven't mentioned
them in 20 years.
Will you please stop throwing
everything on the floor?
Sorry.
You sure you kept them?
I think so.
It seems to me A.J.
blew some of them
up with firecrackers.
When did you do that?
Uh, '59, '60?
It was just the Luftwaffe.
It was just the... Ah!
Oh, A.J., look.
Mr. Kelly, A.J. wore this
on Halloween when he was six.
Mom, can we get back to
the business at hand, please?
[laughs]
Rick, remember this?
Ah, yeah, yeah.
Look, this is...
It's serious stuff.
He wore this for two months,
and if you called him
Rick instead of Hopalong,
he wouldn't answer.
When was that? It
must have been...
Last year.
Ah, bingo.
Ah hah. Here we go.
Yeah.
Is this it?
B-24.
- Hey, what's the difference?
- 4 engines.
25's got 2.
Ah. Here we go.
Oh, yeah. That's the B.
[whistles "Tuxedo Junction"]
Twin engines, twin tail rudders.
Nine gun mounts.
[whistles "Tuxedo Junction"]
[both] ♪ Tuxedo Junction now ♪
Even had a model
called it the G model.
It had a 75 millimeter
camera right here in the nose.
What was the model you flew?
D, just like this.
Why do you need this?
So A.J. and I know
what we're looking for.
That's what you got me for.
No, we'll bring
you in afterwards
to make a positive ID.
I don't like that. I want
to be with you all the time.
No, it's against our policy
to put the client in jeopardy.
Ah, come on.
I can take care of myself.
You saw the way I
paralyzed that guy.
All right, let's turn it around.
We'll put it the other way.
It's against our policy
to put our information sources
in jeopardy from our clients.
What information sources?
Remember that load of
Colombian Christmas trees
that came in on the 25?
Yeah. I been thinking,
what the hell kind
of cargo was that?
Well, you know Christmas trees.
It's what you find
under them that counts.
[airplane noises]
[Rick] You know, Bubba,
you have very, very pretty eyes.
Stuff it and get to the point.
You ever been to Costa del Baño?
Is it a hotel?
It's a country.
The general is very
anxious to get back there.
How come?
He wants to keep it
safe from democracy.
A noble ambition.
He needs a ride.
Who told you I'd care?
The Snowman.
Oh. You must be a recent
immigrant from Terminal Island.
Six weeks.
When's the Snowman getting out?
[laughs]
If he really behaves himself,
he ought to be back
in business by, oh, '96.
I might be able
to get your general
as far as Rio, for half price.
He has some cargo.
Describe it for me.
Oh, good, he's here.
I'll just let him tell
you all about it himself.
Who's here?
Sveback.
Who's that?
Sveback?
The madman from Munich.
The world's
top-dollar mercenary.
He's the general's liaison.
You be careful with
him, because he's a killer.
Okay?
Just whatever you do,
do not mention Zimbabwe.
[German]
Uh, he also thinks that
you have very pretty eyes.
[German]
What's he saying?
Uh, he wants to know
if you've ever been to Paraguay.
Never mind where I've been.
Where's this general of yours?
Herr General is not far.
He is houseguest.
One of your former presidents.
How is the general?
He was so depressed last week.
His heart really
is with his people.
[German]
He is much better, thank you.
Good, good.
He shot a 42 on the back 9.
Ah.
Will you get to the point?
Herr General desires
a certain aircraft.
Something sort of...
U-haul... Something so...
Um... [German]
- Funky.
- Something funky,
and something also ex-militarish
would be very nice.
And what's the cargo?
Ah, assortment of small arms,
some defoliants,
some Xerox machine.
Of course his monkey.
Ah, don't forget
about the, uh... device.
Ah, ja.
There are also two trunks
which must be kept a
precise distance apart.
Why?
[loudly] Because
they are the two trunks
which must be kept a
precise distance apart!
No problem.
Except that I'm
philosophically opposed to war.
Once Herr General
has the two trunks
in Costa del Baño,
there will be no war.
Herr General believes in
peace through intimidation.
I hope you are not also
philosophically opposed
to peace through intimidation.
$50,000 could eliminate any
lingering doubts I might have.
Zer gut.
I shall inform Herr General.
I trust there shall
be no problem.
What I'm going to
tell you is hypothetical.
[German]
[German]
[German]
If... If there was a guy that
was right for your needs,
could be he's flying into
Linda Vista Field tomorrow.
Could also be he owns
a World War II bomber.
Would that be the right size?
Wunderbar.
And if there were such a person,
how would his name be called?
Ted Ostrow.
Zer gut.
On behalf of Herr
General and his people,
vielen dank.
Perhaps after the coronation,
you would be so
kind as to come down,
visit Herr General in his villa.
Pass. I'm allergic to bananas.
You just bring Ostrow to me.
I'll be here around
noon, and I'll wait.
I think we can work out a deal.
Wunderbar.
- Irish.
- Come on Rick, we got to go.
- Irish.
- [Irish speaks on the phone]
Look, just tell him
we're on our way.
All right, hey... hey, Irish.
Irish.
Rick, just tell him.
Hey, hey...
Look, for heaven sakes,
give me the phone.
All right, hotshot. You try.
All right, now Irish,
just listen. I just...
I don't even know why I'm
arguing with you about this.
If you think I'm going
to miss out on this one...
Irish, shut up and listen.
You will not go out there
until you hear from us.
You will stick by the phone.
If it's a B-25, we will
call you right away.
Goodbye, Irish.
[knocks]
Oh.
Yes?
My name's Ed Beckwith.
I'm an investigator with
the Federal Aviation Agency.
May I talk to you for a minute?
Uh, yeah. Could
you make it fast,
because we're on our way out.
We have reason to believe
that Linda Vista Field
is receiving
sub-rosa deliveries.
Now, I've been
assigned to stake it out,
posing as a pilot for hire.
Fine. What's that
got to do with us?
That fellow Irish
was a pretty disruptive
force out there yesterday.
Now, the FAA would appreciate it
if you could just keep
him away from there
until our investigation
is completed.
That's all been taken care of.
We're handling it for him now.
Are you going out
to Linda Vista again?
Yeah, we're on our
way there right now.
What's his interest
in this B-25?
That's confidential.
Look, we will work with you.
All we want to do is
check out this B-25.
This one's supposed to
be coming in right now.
We want to identify
it for our client.
You want to come,
that's all right.
But you got to make up your
mind. It's after 8, we got to go.
- Let's go.
- All right.
[Rick] Put that back.
[airplane noises]
Weren't those guys
out here yesterday?
[Beckwith] Yeah, they're just a
couple of pilots waiting for action.
What time is that B-25 due in?
Could be any time.
We appreciate
your covering for us.
Well, that's one you owe me.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
- Oh, no.
- Which one?
Damn it, Irish.
How'd you guys recognize me?
Lucky guess.
The shoes.
What did we tell you?
If you think I'm
going to stay at home
and wait, you're crazy.
What's happening?
Nothing is happening.
Now will you please go
on and get out of here?
Forget it, Schuster.
This may be it.
That's no B-25.
Damn waste of time.
Well, see there. You should have
stayed home like you were supposed to.
Somebody has got to
find the Betty Grable,
and you guys don't
seem to be too competent.
You had 27 years.
We've only had two days.
I'm going to have a
little chat with that pilot.
No you are not.
You go out there,
you're going to screw
up everything for us.
Now, do you want
our help or not?
Make up your mind.
I'll wait right here.
Everything all right?
Take a look.
Hi.
You know when Ostrow's due in?
Who wants to know?
Bubba says you might
be able to help us.
[police siren wails]
Up.
Okay, all right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Well, Ostrow, your
luck finally ran out.
Hey, what...
What are you hauling this time?
Cocaine or just a little grass?
[birds chirp]
What's the rap for
contraband parakeets?
They'll let us know
at the arraignment.
You fellows sure your
mom is coming to get you?
- Oh, yeah. She'll be here.
- She's used to this.
- You're fired.
- Honey, it's not their fault.
Be quiet, darling.
You fellows ever
get out of there,
I'm still interested.
Okay.
Ed Beckwith confirm our story?
Who?
[together] Beckwith.
Beckwith. You know,
come on, come on, come on.
Just because you got a
bunch of anemic parakeets
instead of your dope
doesn't mean you
have to hassle us.
Don't know any Beckwith.
Yeah, you do. The FAA guy.
Medium height, blue eyes?
- Yeah.
- That's the one.
Name isn't Beckwith.
You say he's with the FAA.
He says he's a pilot.
He also says he doesn't
know you guys from Adam.
He's lying. Where is he?
His bail was posted
ten minutes ago.
Let's go. Come on, let's go.
Let them out.
Hi, Mom.
Come on, let's go.
I'm late for practice.
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Where's the plane
now? Do you know?
Yeah, they have an air
show at 29 Palms today.
Can we rent a plane around here?
It's not that far.
You can drive it
in a couple hours.
Yeah, but I'd like to get
there as quick as possible.
Crown Aviation's
the closest place.
Remember, you run across
Rick and A.J. Simon again,
you got amnesia.
Oh, yeah. I can feel it
coming over me right now.
What's your interest
in that old plane?
Thing doesn't fly
any good anymore.
When I brought her
up here from Peru,
she almost put me in the drink.
Our interest is
purely sentimental.
Take a left at the next corner.
Hello, Bubba.
How's the general's monkey?
Get the hell out of here.
We don't do business with PIs.
Oh, we're not talking
about doing business.
We're talking about scrambling
one or more of your vital organs.
You're not going
to shoot me in here.
Hey, Arch?
Yo?
Okay if I shoot
this guy in here?
Sure. Let me go lock the door.
Where's the B-25?
I sold it.
To who?
The Cremony Flying Circus.
What is Ed Beckwith to you?
Nobody.
A couple of friends of his
posted my bail and paid me off
to keep my mouth
shut about the plane.
Why?
They didn't say.
- What were their names?
- I don't know.
- [gun clicks]
- Come on.
I'm telling you,
man, I don't know.
I didn't ask, and
they didn't say.
How old were they?
Sixties, maybe.
Where is this flying circus?
29 Palms.
- For how long?
- I don't know.
You know, you look
better with your scar.
How'd you like it back?
Have a nice day.
Good luck.
Thanks, Arch.
- Irish.
- Irish.
Irish, hey.
You are not going along.
The hell I'm not.
What are you guys
doing here anyway?
I hire you to do a simple thing
like keep him out of
trouble for one day,
and he winds up in jail.
I told you, Christy,
it's not their fault.
That doesn't make
any difference.
I was against
this from the start.
You fellows have been
fired, and that's that.
They're on my payroll now, Pete.
And we will do the job.
You just tell us
how to identify her.
Can I go, Mom?
No. Nobody's going.
- I am.
- Wait, look, Irish.
If the guys that
bailed out Ostrow
really are members of your crew,
there could be trouble.
You're not going,
darling. That's it.
Christy, he's your son.
I'm your grandfather.
The advantage I have over him,
he has to do what you say.
I don't.
You fellows coming,
or I have to hitchhike?
Irish, I don't want you to go.
I don't want you to go, either.
I don't want you to go.
I think we'd better go.
Come on, Simon, pass this truck.
He's holding us up.
We should have taken
your car, Schuster.
Would you mind not
calling me Schuster?
- What's your name?
- Simon.
Oh, you're Schuster.
Why didn't you say so?
Ah, what's in a name?
Listen, you think
you'd recognize
any of your crew if you saw them
after all these years?
I'd know Burrows.
We shared the same
quarters for 18 months.
I'm not sure about the others.
I hope to hell one
of them is Burrows.
If you recognize anybody,
you just let us know about it.
You stay out of it.
Oh, sure.
Well, Mr. Krotter, for
that kind of money,
how can I say no?
Of course, I want to take
a closer look at her first.
Oh, you be my guest.
She's all yours if you want her.
Go see if you can find
some paint remover.
Think you can fly her?
Yeah. Where to?
The ocean. I want
you to ditch her.
Cost you a bundle.
I figured that.
When?
Soon as it gets dark.
No way.
I'm not going to bail out
at night over the water.
Don't worry. I'll have
a boat pick you up.
Let's go plot a course
with the chopper.
First, I'm going to
go buy this sucker.
What happened to
the rest of the crew?
Well, Haney's dead.
Steve Smith's a gun
runner in South America,
last I heard.
It was a one-plane
mission. No cover.
We came in at
five thousand feet,
dropped two and
a half tons of GPs
on the walls
surrounding Mandalay.
What are GPs?
General purpose bombs.
Why, we tore that
wall a new one.
The British Crown
troops poured in.
Colonel Okasawa fell
on his seppuku knife.
Come on, come
on. Let's step on it.
There she is.
Stop here.
I want to be alone with
her for a minute, fellows.
Come on.
Come on, guys.
What did I tell you?
I knew it was her.
I'd know this baby anywhere.
Hey, Irish, wait up.
Hey, how's she feel?
She changed much?
Buttons for the
nose guns are gone.
I guess she doesn't run
a whole lot of bombing
missions lately.
Otherwise, she
looks pretty good.
Yeah?
Let's see how she sounds.
Uh, Irish...
I don't know. We
shouldn't be doing this.
Let her hum a little bit, boys.
[engines sputter]
Come on, baby.
Irish, uh...
Let's see how
this handles on us.
I don't know, Irish.
Hold on, baby.
Come on, babe.
Looks like she's
catching over there.
That a girl.
Yeah, there she
goes. There she goes.
Let's see how she
is in action, boys.
No. No. Come on, Irish.
Come on, Irish. No.
Irish.
He's taking off. Swing
around in front of him.
What are you doing
with that thing?
You can't bring down a B-25.
If you hit the pilot, you can.
Irish, look out.
[gunshots]
Look out, look out.
There's a helicopter.
That's Burrows.
Get to your stations, men.
What stations?
Co-pilot. Schuster,
you're waist gunner.
I don't know how
to fly one of these.
How long has it been
since you've flown one?
It's like riding a bicycle.
I do not want to hear that.
Get to your guns.
Aye aye, captain.
[electricity sparks]
What's that?
It's all right. Don't
worry about it.
Get the flaps up.
Flaps?
Get them damn flaps up.
You want Betty to
fly like a gooney bird?
Ah.
Here, take over.
Hold it 1-8-0 degrees.
What?
[gunshots]
What the hell's the matter
with that damn thing?
Bullet must have ruptured
the main hydraulic system.
Irish.
Irish.
You know, I used
to keep... I... well...
I'll be damned.
Will you look at that?
- Irish.
- Kid, you like a little nip?
No, Irish. Please take over.
Sure you don't
want a little nip?
Hold it steady, boy.
Hold it steady, boy.
All right, now you got it.
I got it.
Turn loose the damn wheel.
[gunshots]
They're underneath us.
Hey A.J., you guys
hear me up there?
Hey, yeah, Rick. I can hear you.
Can you do anything back there?
Well, I figure this
thing's a bomber, right?
Hold on. They hit the rotor.
Hey, A.J.
Yo.
Bull's-eye.
Good.
Mayday, mayday.
This is the B-25 Betty Grable.
Mayday, Lindbergh Field. Over.
This is Lindbergh.
We read you five
by five. Mayday.
Could I have that ID again?
This is the Betty Grable.
Our course is 1-8-0 degrees.
Request emergency
landing instructions.
My hydraulic system is out.
Okay, Betty Grable.
We've got you on radar.
You have clearance on runway 31.
Runway 31, how do you read?
Loud and clear.
Everything under
control up here, guys?
It's that hydraulic leak.
We can't get enough pressure
on the primary system
to get the gear down.
Is that bad?
Nah.
Well, not usually.
Seems to me my
back-up hydraulic system
went out once over New Britain.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's an emergency pump.
That's good.
Somewhere.
Oh, come on, Irish.
Think. This is the Betty Grable.
This is your baby.
You know her like
you know your lover.
We haven't made love
in a long time, boys.
Just look back there.
It's around there somewhere.
Come on, look around.
Lindbergh Field, Betty Grable.
Can you tell me where the
emergency landing system
is located on a B-25?
Uh.
Negative, Betty Grable.
Ah.
Then get Arch
McBride over there.
[phone rings]
[phone rings]
Yeah?
Arch's Hangar.
I'll be right there.
Irish is bringing
the Betty Grable in.
[applause]
Irish, what does it look like?
Huh?
I said, what does it look like?
I don't know. I
remember it's red.
Red, red. Okay. Red.
Is it big? Is it little?
There's a lot of red
stuff back here, Irish.
Well, it's, uh... I
don't remember.
Does it look like this?
Yeah. That's it.
Looks like that, and red.
It's a lever. It's red.
I don't see it, Irish.
Well, look.
I'm looking.
Betty Grable, we've got Arch.
[pants]
Yeah, Betty Grable.
Now listen, Irish.
The manual hydraulic
emergency pump
on a B-25 model D
is mounted on the rear
side of the cockpit bulkhead,
behind the co-pilot.
Okay, I got it.
Thanks, Arch.
How we doing?
Keep pumping.
How we doing?
Keep pumping.
I'm pumping, I'm pumping.
Okay.
You can stop.
Stop.
Figure it out?
Arch, the landing gear is down.
We're on approach.
Roger, Betty Grable.
We've just gotten word
that that helicopter
that fired on you
has crash-landed safely,
and its passengers are
being detained by police.
Easy for them. All
they had to do was fall.
[laughs]
[fire engines honk]
[sirens wail]
Get your nose up, Betty Grable.
Roger.
Align your wings.
You're not parallel.
Roger.
Okay, okay. Now
you're looking good.
Reduce speed.
All right, boys.
Here we go. Grab
on to something.
Not that.
[siren wails]
Okay. All right.
Ah.
Son of a gun.
Woo.
This is one good airplane.
Ah. Can we get out of it now?
Yeah, yeah.
Ah.
Oh.
[laughs]
Irish, you got her down.
What the hell did
you think I'd do?
How you doing, Betty?
Long time no see.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA