Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 2, Episode 13 - Pirate's Key: Part 1 - full transcript

After Rick and A.J. 'borrow' and trash a powerful Senator's car, he arranges a hearing to revoke their P.I. license over charges of unethical conduct when the brother's lived in Florida.

- [Announcer] Tonight...
- Oh!

On Simon & Simon...

You're not taking him
away from me, Rick.

I'm gonna marry him.

When we do recover your money,

our cut of it is 50%.

Agreed? Shake on it?

- Rick!
- Whoo-oh!

Oh, I'm starting to get mad.

You can't offer us
protection in this town?

Oh, that money's still
down there somewhere!

Nobody knows where!

Hit your lights! Blind him!


♪♪ [theme]

Here you go.

Enjoy your lunch.


Come on! Move it!

[shutter clicking]

Hey, guys? It was pretty good.

But you weren't smiling.

You want to try another one?

[shutter clicking]

Get the camera!

[shutter clicking]

Ahh. [whistles]

Come on, we gotta catch 'em.

Why? What for?
We got the pictures.

No we don't. They
got the camera.


All right. Wait.

- Hi.
- Good morning.

There you go. Enjoy your lunch.

Thank you.


Come back here! What
do you think you're...

[tires screeching]


All right, that's it! Hang on.


A.J.? Easy now.

- Okay.
- Got him?
- Take care.

Come on, let's go. Sit down.

- [groaning]
- Sit down. Take it easy.

Take it easy. Do it slow. Slow.

- Come on.
- [groaning]

Take it easy.

And then they drove
off in a brand new car

that doesn't even belong to me.

I am genuinely sorry
for the inconvenience.


How do you do?

The two men who took
your car are private detectives

working for the restaurant.

You see, we've had a serious
problem with employee thefts.

Although I'm happy
to say it looks as if...

- There they are!
- They found the men behind it.

And about the
damage... [car squeaks]

Do you have any idea who I am?

Of course, Mr. Gershenson.

No. Not Mister. Senator.

A United States Senator.

Your lunch is on the house.


In California, as a
guest of the Governor.

Sir... Senator, we are...

I want your names. Both of you.

Absolutely. Positively.

And listen, if there's anything
we can do to make it up to you...

We know exactly
how ya feel about this.

If there had been any other way.

Also, I know a guy. He's
got a great body shop.

He can take care
of that, no problem.

A.J. Simon? Richard Simon?

- Yes, sir.
- I'm A.J.
- Rick.

- Hi.
- That's who you are?

Yes, sir.

You are going
to be awfully sorry

that this ever happened.

I'll have my lunch now.

- Yes, of course.
- Senator, we really are sorry.

Oh, no. No, I mean
genuinely, truly sorry.

I'm going to see to
it that neither of you

ever works in this state again.

- Right this way, Senator.
- I think you're overreacting
just a little bit.

- Gershenson.
- What?


- Ti...
- [sighs]

Oh, no, that couldn't
be the same guy.

Could it?

He'll calm down
after he's eaten.

Low blood sugar.

Good work. There'll be a bonus.

And thank you very much.

All right. Yes.

- Gershenson.
- [honking]


- Yes?
- Mr. Andrew Jackson Simon?


I'm from the Department
of Licenses and Services.

We regulate private
investigators in this state.

Revoke your licenses. [laughs]

That's a hot one. [laughs]

Myron, this is serious.

Well, I guess it is.

You two are wanted fugitives
from the state of Florida.

Oh, come on, Myron.

You know we didn't
break any laws down there.

Well, no big ones anyway.

Now look, all you have to do

is go in there, tell
'em I worked for you

at Peerless Detectives
before I got my license,

tell 'em I did a good job.

Tell 'em... just, you know,
be a character witness.

- A good job?
- Yeah.

- You?
- Yeah.

- I trained you.
- I know.

And what'd you do to me?

You went into
business against me.

- Myron.
- Drove me into
early retirement.

- Myron.
- You broke
my daughter's heart.

Myron, please.

But don't worry, I
won't tell 'em the truth.

Thank you.

Hey, come on. What
are you worried about?

This is just Gershenson
trying to get even for the car.

All we gotta do is explain
what happened in Florida.

Gonna be glad to help
you out of this little mess.

Well, well, well, lookee here.

Haven't seen you
two boys in a long time.

On second thought, I
think we might be in trouble.

Senator Gershenson,

the State of California
would like to thank you

for calling these very serious
allegations to our attention.

And to thank you, Sheriff,

for making the long trip
from Florida to assist.

Well, now, that's my
pleasure, Mr. Minnow.

Now, then, the
State of California

requires a two-year

before granting a private
investigator's license.

- Myron Fowler.
- Here.

Did Andrew Simon
serve that apprenticeship

under you as chief
investigator for the Miami office

- of Peerless Detectives?
- Yeah, right.

And did Richard Simon
also serve under you?


Why was that, Mr. Fowler?

Because I wouldn't have him.

- [kick]
- Ow.

Listen, you gotta
understand Rick.

You see, back in those days,

he was just out of the service.

He was kind of wild, you know?

He lived on a Key,
south of Miami.

Pirate's Key.

A.J. had been working for
me about a year at that time

and he suggested I
give his brother a job.

[laughs] But I
could see right away

that Rick Simon was
just not the kind of guy

who's gonna cope with schedules.

You know, 9 to
5, things like that.

[phone ringing]

[A.J. groans] Yeah, hello?

It was 6:15 in the morning.

Somewhere, out beyond Miami,

he knew there was a
marlin with his name on it.


You've gotta be kidding.

So he got on the telephone
and he called his brother.

His brother said "No."

"Let's go get us a big
one, old buddy," he said.

It was his brother
that had the boat, see.


I've got to go to work.

Let's go out on Saturday, okay?

His brother said.

But he shook his head.

He had a charter on Saturday.

One of those rich
ladies from Lauderdale

'cause her husband got
her interested in fishing,

but somehow he
never got invited along.


Don't you wish. Forget it.

Come on, A.J.
Play hooky with me!

Rick, will you grow up?

I gotta work.

If I don't work,
I don't get paid.

Is that how that works?

[sighs] That's how it works.

Over and out.

Always wondered how that worked.

You derelict.





Gotta have my coffee.

Here it is, A.J. But
you better hurry!

You're really pushing
it this morning!



Morning, Myron.

[Myron] Yeah. A.J. was
a good kid back then.

He was always tryin'
hard to do his best.

Well, Rick was all right, too.

But in a different way.

You know, Rick had a
rep around south Florida.

Well, he got referrals as a
kind of a repossession agent.

[yelling] Anybody home?

Hey! Hello, out there!
Can you hear me?

What do you think, Marlowe?

Looks like a girl, doesn't it?

Hey! Are you Rick Simon?

Sounds like a girl, too.

Maybe this isn't gonna turn out

to be such a
lousy day after all.

I'm sorry I got here so late,

but I couldn't find
the right driveway.

Oh, no, no. That's all right.

Uh, was I expecting you?

Uh, no, no, no.

What I meant was Spud
told me that you got up early,

and I wanted to make
sure I got here in time

to catch you.


Yeah, he told me to talk to you.

Maybe you could help
me with my problem.

You in some kind of trouble?


Spud said that you got
something back for him

that he'd lost,

and that you do freelance
repossession work.

- Mm-hmm.
- And he also said

that you were the
only guy he knew that...

Actually, crazy was
the word he used...

That you were the
only guy he knew

crazy enough to help me
with this kind of problem.

What'd you lose?


How'd you lose that much money?

It's my husband's
life insurance policy.

He died down in Blackwater Key.

And they told me it was suicide.

I'm sorry.

But Les didn't kill himself.

He wouldn't do that. I know him.

And then the insurance
company sent a guy down here

and he read the autopsy report

and he said that that
policy don't pay off

on suicide for
the first two years.

And the guy went
away real happy.

Saved his company
a hundred grand.

I tried to tell him that
Les wouldn't have

left me with nothing like that.

He wouldn't.

And all I wants is what's mine.

What Les would have
wanted me to have

if something ever
happened to him.

All right, now
maybe I can help you.

But here's the deal.

My fee is 30% of
whatever it is I recover.

I know.

You gotta pay me
with a cashier's check

made out to cash,

and you can't write
me off your income tax.

I know. Spud told
me everything. I know.

Well, then, step into my dinghy

- and let's talk.
- Thanks.

[phone ringing]

- [shutter clicking]
- Myron!

Checking out one
of the little cameras.

I'm going out on a
tail job this morning.

Since when you
going out of the office?

Myron, I have been
reading microfilm

for the past two months.

Besides which,

you gave me the assignment
yourself last week, remember?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

[phone ringing]

You been studying
the manual at night?

- Of course I have.
- Of course you have.

You know what
you're supposed to do?

- Sure.
- Sure.

All right.

But remember, you
got a lot of talent.

But you're still an
apprentice investigator.

- Right.
- Go by the book.

- Okay.
- Follow the training.

- Okay.
- And don't blow it!

I'll try not to.

Uh, I'm gonna need some
money out of petty cash.

- How much?
- Better make it 50.

- 50?
- 50.

[sighs] Okay.

Sign for it.

- Of course.
- And I want receipts.

How do I get a
receipt for a bribe?

Good investigators don't bribe.

Tail job.

[Man on TV] It's
Easy Money Time,

the easy money show
where everybody wins.


Go on up, honey.

One little pocket full of money

that's burning a
hole in my pocket.

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

So tonight, John,
can you tell us

a little bit about
some of the prizes?

Pick a hand.

You crazy?

Hey, come on, what
do you got to lose?

Pick a hand.

Well, lucky you.

Room service!

- Get out of here!
- [shutter clicking]

But I have the
champagne you ordered.

We didn't order any champagne!

- You didn't?
- Get out of here?

- Get out of here!
- I'm sorry.

I'm leaving. Leaving right away.

Bye-bye. Have a nice stay.

Hey, wait a minute.

There's no room
service in this hotel.

[Woman] Oh, my God!

Now you give me that camera.

You got it. You got it.

No problem. Here you go.

No hard feelings, okay?


It's all right. It's all right.

He, you know, he does this.

It's just... he's
harmless, all right?

Six weeks I've been
waiting to catch that bimbo

in bed with some guy.

Six weeks!

I gotta have pictures
to go to court!

I don't go to court,
I don't get paid!

Busted up faces don't
put food on the table

in this racket.

- [door opens]
- Hoskins, what did he do wrong?

Everything, obviously.

For starters, don't
bribe the desk clerk

so he can't identify you.

2, never go out the
same door you came in.

- 3...
- Shut up, Hoskins.

- 3...
- I told you not to blow it.

- 3...
- You shut up!

I spent 15 bucks
in the liquor store

and 20 on the desk clerk.

- Receipts?
- Not for the 20.

Then it's out of your salary.

- Myron!
- Look, you learn how
to do things right

and you'll never go wrong.

Now, I was just like
you when I started out.

But if you go by the book...

If you say that to
me one more time,

I'm gonna take that book

and I'm gonna
feed it to Hoskins!

There! There are your pictures.

Now go to court and get paid.

He's gonna be a good one.

So you see, it was all my
fault that A.J. got involved.

And that's because I was
always so hard on him.

And I was hard only
because I wanted him to get

started out right
as an investigator.

Do you follow me?

Thank you for
coming, Mr. Fowler.

- That'll be all.
- Right.

By the way,

you're gonna
find that this is just

a little misunderstanding here.

These guys are good
guys. They're all right.

I'll see you guys.

- Thanks, Myron.
- Thanks, Myron.

Now then, Andrew Simon,

let's move on to the charges of

receiving stolen property.

Oh, that's ridiculous

and Senator Gershenson
knows it is, too.

You, sir, were in possession
of a diamond pendant

which had been
stolen from my wife.

Look. Mr. Minnow, this is
all taken out of context here.

Then why don't you
put it in context for us?

All right, I will.

I had had a hard day at work.

My brother had suggested
I go fishing with him,

so I decided to
take him up on it.

I called his house,
there was no answer,

so I drove down to Pirate's Key.

[motor rumbling]

What are you doing in my house?

I changed my mind!

Let's go fishing!

I can't. I'm working.

My kid brother. We
used to work together.

What happened?

Oh, the right girl found
him, and he went straight.

A.J., this is Kitty.

- Kitty, A.J.
- Hi.

- How do you do?
- Fine.

- Oh. There you go.
- Thanks.

Did you bring Janet with you?

Oh, you looking
mighty guilty up there.

I bet she doesn't even
know where you are.

Will you go please sit
on something sharp?


Uh, is that your client?

Yes, sir.

Old Spud was so happy
with the job we did for him,

he sent me a referral.

- Sent you a referral?
- Yeah.

You nearly got
killed on that job.

If I hadn't been
there, you would have.

What's he sending
you a referral for?

Well, maybe you should
have played hooky with me

this morning, shouldn't ya? Huh?

What's the job?

Ah, it's insurance money.

Suicide that wasn't a suicide.

- Uh-huh.
- At least,
Kitty doesn't think so.

Uh-huh. What's our cut?

30 grand.

- Ohh.
- But it's my cut.

Hey! What's the number
of the highway patrol?

Look it up!

Well who do I ask for to
get an accident report?

Good question!

A.J., will you come up here

and call the highway
patrol for me and ask for

an accident report
for the 5th of June?

You can tell 'em it's
for Peerless Detectives.

Rick, I can't do that.
That wouldn't be ethical.

Besides, it's not my case.

A.J., get your butt up here!

'Course, I'd like to help.

Maybe if you told me
what the problem was.

All right, now
you're the problem.

Now, you see, he
doesn't understand

about professional ethics.

All real investigators...

All right, if you
want in, you're in.

You got two for
the price of one.

- never dream of...
- Would you shut up
and make the call?

Well, what call am I
supposed to make?

What was the accident?

Well, it happened on the
night before my husband died.

We were on the highway,

on our way back to
Blackwater Key from Miami.

Highway 1, right.

Yeah, and then...

I wish I remembered
more of the details.

It was late.

I was groggy.

I had fallen
asleep in the car...

[Man over radio]
15 miles south of...

The radio woke me up.

10-71 and a 10-69er.

The victim is pinned
inside the vehicle.

We're not gonna get him
out without a cuttin' torch.

It's a bad one.
It just happened.

I'm gonna stop for it.

[Kitty] It was a police radio.

Les had one in the car
and another one at home.

And he kept them
on all the time.

It was kind of his job, you see.

He worked for a lawyer

and whenever there
was an accident

where somebody was hurt,

Les would go out to it.

[police radio chatter]

He knew all the
highway patrol men

and they were real
friendly with him.

One of 'em even
came over to talk to me

about something that night.

I can't remember
what he said, though.

Just remember Les
leaning down inside that car

that was all
smashed up on a tree

talking to the man inside it.

See, he was supposed
to tell people how,

if they went to the
lawyer he worked for,

he could get more
insurance money.

Only this time, I could
tell from the way he looked,

the man had died right there
while Les was talking to him.

- [siren]
- He must have been trying

to help make him more
comfortable or something

'cause he wiped his
hands on his pants,

and then he wiped
them on the ground

like he got blood on them
and wanted to get it off.

He came back to the car.

He didn't say anything.

I guess he was upset.

The way the man looked and all.

I can still see him
lying there dead.

It was awful.

Wish I hadn't looked.

He didn't sleep
too good that night.

He was up and all
around the house.

And then the next morning,

he got up and he
went to Miami early.

He said that the man
that had died was Cuban

and he was talking in
Spanish about his wife.

So Les wanted to go down there

and see her and tell her

that she was on his
mind when he died.

I thought that was a
real nice thing to do.

So he went away and
he never came back.

How did he die?

Uh, they found him in the swamp,

in his car,

dead of an overdose of
alcohol and sleeping pills.

They said he drank almost
a whole bottle of whiskey

and took a whole
prescription of pills,

fell asleep and
his heart stopped.

And then I was packing
some of his stuff away,

one week later,
and I found this.

It was hidden.

Is it real?

I took it to the jeweler
in Blackwater Key.

He said it was an antique.

Gave me the name of
an appraiser in Miami.

It's worth $40,000.

I guess I could have sold
it and not told anybody

and just kept the money.

But that wouldn't be right.

And I know that's
not Les' diamond.

It's just not his.

And all I want is
what's coming to me.

What Les would
want me to have...

Hello? Yes, hi.

This is Simon,
Peerless Detectives.

And that was the first time
I ever saw the necklace.

Which had obviously been stolen.

Nothing is obvious, Senator,

until you know the whole story.

Which is exactly
what we set out to do.

Try and figure out where
the diamond came from.

So my brother and I
drove to north Miami

to try and talk to this woman.

The woman who's husband
had died in the accident.

[laughs] How do you say
"Down with Castro" in Spanish?

Beats me. Maybe
you better lock the car.

Hey, how much are the
hubcaps gonna put me back?

Good ones? 100 bucks. They'll
probably sell you those back for 25.

- Oh, thank you.
- Excuse me.

Uh, we're looking
for Mrs. Sueños.

Mrs. Armando Sueños?


You with the police?
We don't know nothing.

Oh, no, ma'am. We're
not from the cops.

We're private investigators.

Show her your ID.

- Hey!
- What?

Show her your ID.

- Oh. Sorry.
- [Men laughing]

Hi. Right there.

[speaking Spanish]

Hey. Thank you.
Thank you very much.

I'm Rosalie Sueños.

May I?

Thank you.

We were just wondering if
maybe we could talk to you

for a few minutes
about your husband.

- He's dead.
- Yes, ma'am, I know.

But if we could just ask you
a few questions about him.

What kind of questions?

Well, uh, what did he do
for a living, for instance?


[fly buzzing]

Um, he was killed in an
accident down in the Keys.

I'm sorry.

The next day, a man came
to see you... Lester Kramer.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

He was asking
questions, like you are.

Who Armando did business with,

who his friends were.

He said that Armando
talked about me

before he died.

He left me a card.

Someone to call in case
I needed some money.

Some lawyer.

Do you still have
that, by any chance?

Yeah, I do.

Here, I think.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

[sighs] I never called.

Armando's friends came over.

They told me not to.

They said they
would take care of me.

Of course, they never did.

They never even came by again.

They're real bad people...
Armando's friends. Thieves!

Do you... do you remember
any of their names?

José, Chuy, Hector, Fernando.

I don't know. I never
knew their last names

and I didn't care!

I didn't want them in my house.

Um, was Armando
ever in any kind of...

He was a thief, too.

What kind of a thief?

Oh, I don't know, Mister.
I never wanted to know.

He was, uh...[laughs]

I didn't even see
him for two weeks

before he died!

He was down in Blackwater Key

on a job, he said. He called me.

I told him I needed money.

He said we'll have plenty of it

in a couple of days.

You know what I got?

A note. And it said...

Este para ti, Rosalita.

But there was nothing
in it, just a note!

And what does that mean?

"This one's for you."

You wanna know the truth?

I'm glad he's dead.

David Stallings.

Attorney at Law.

"This one's for you."

Why would a man
write a note like that

to his wife?

Well, maybe he was
gonna give her something.

Like a diamond necklace.

Yeah. Which he got
down in Blackwater Key.

- and not at
any jewelry store either.
- [dog barking]

What do you bet there was a robbery
down there around the 5th of June?

Nah, I doubt it. If there'd been
a robbery that big down there...

Ah, there had to be a robbery.

- It'd be in the papers.
- [dog barking]

Come on. What do you
say? Let's put 5 bucks on it.

Hey, see the kid
on the motorcycle?

Does he look familiar to you?

What are you, paranoid?

You think the entire Cuban
population of north Miami

is after your hubcaps.

[A.J.] So I called
down to Blackwater Key

to see if a burglary
had taken place.

- And?
- And...

as the Senator and
the Sheriff well know,

there were no robberies reported

during the months
of May or June.

- None.
- Eh, now there was
a reason for that.

I think we took
every reasonable step

to determine if that
necklace was stolen.

Wouldn't you agree, Senator?

And if it had been reported,

we would have
returned it to your wife.

I think that's highly debatable.

Are you calling me a liar?

I have had just
about enough of this.

So have I, Mr. Simon, for now.

It seems that you've
answered the charges

of receiving stolen property.

But there are still
many other charges

against you and your brother.

In light of which...

let's recess for lunch.

One hour.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Am I late?
- No, not yet.
- Good.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Sure you're gonna
be able to handle this?

It's gonna dredge up
a lot of old memories.

Oh, A.J., they were
good memories.

Most of them.

Yeah, I can handle it.

Um, I was working as a
legal secretary in Miami

and A.J. and I were engaged.

And I guess you could
say I was a little bit jealous

of his relationship
with his brother.

[ship horn]


Nothing at all?

All right. Thank you.

Well, I should
have taken your bet.

There were no robberies in
Blackwater Key last month.

There were no
robberies in the county.

Come on. Wait a minute.
What are you telling me?

That Armando got killed
before he did the job?

Mm-hmm. And then as a corpse,

he went out and bought
his wife a $40,000 diamond

- out of the household money.
- That's ridiculous.

I never said there
was a robbery.

- You were the one
who said there was a robbery.
- There had to be a robbery.

I mean, how else would Armando
get his hands on that diamond, huh?

And why wouldn't you
report a thing like that

to the police?

Geez. You gotta know

that whoever owned that diamond
is gonna want it back again.

And you gotta know that
whoever owned that diamond

is gonna recognize
it when they see it.

Oh, great. What are we gonna do?

Take it down there

and hang it off the
local bulletin board?

Nope. I think I got
us a better idea.

No. Absolutely not.

- Oh, she'll love it.
- No way! Forget it.

She will love it. You
just leave it to me.

Hiya, gorgeous.

Think she's warming up to me.

Janet! No wait! Come on!

Wait a minute! Now,
wait! Where you going?

You two are planning to work
together again, aren't you?

- Not necessarily.
- Aren't you? Yeah.

Well, I think I have
a right to know, A.J.,

because the last time you
almost got yourself killed.

Now, wait a second.
That was not me.

- That was him, not me.
- Oh, excuse me.

That makes it all
right then, doesn't it?

Look, I can see that you
two want to fight so I'm...

Whoa, Rick! Wait just a minute.

Come here.

You see, you're the
cause of this whole thing.

Do you realize that
you're the biggest problem

in my entire life right now?

I mean, you are an irresponsible,
overgrown 10-year-old,

and you've never done an
honest day's work in your life.

You don't even have
a Social Security card.

Would you tell me, please,

is it really worth
risking your life

to work with him again?

Well, now wait a second.
You tell me something.

Is it really worth
risking my sanity

simply to be an
apprentice investigator

for Myron
"go-by-the-book" Fowler?

I don't see the risk.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I don't mind a fishing
trip every now and then.

- That's fin...
- Oh, may I?

Oh, I never should have
made you get that 9 to 5 job.

- Hey, now wait...
- No, 'cause you're an outlaw,
just like Rick!

Listen to me!

- Would you excuse us?
- You got it.

You never made
me do a damn thing!

I took the damn job
because I love you

and because I want to marry you!

Okay, fine. Then get rid of Rick

and we'll go get married
tomorrow, how's that?

It's my day off.

Okay? I'll make the calls.

Well... I... No, I
can't tomorrow.

And you have to have... And you have to
have a marriage test and a blood license...

Yes, I know. And a
blood test. That's fine.

What about next week,
then, on my day off?

That's a good day.

Look, I don't like it

when you go off on
these jobs with him.

I know.

- Hey.
- What?

Come on. You'll
like this one better.

Oh, no. Why?

Because you're
gonna come with us.

Wait a minute. What?

Now listen, it'll be fun.

Really. We'll have a good time.

- No.
- You can keep an eye on us.

There won't be any
danger. All it'll be...

No way. No way.

[motor rumbling]

[Myron on phone] Where are
you? Do you know what time it is?

- You're three hours late!
- There's been a change
of plans, Myron.

I'm taking a leave of
absence for a couple of weeks.

What the hell is a
leave of absence?

It means I'll come to
work when I get back,

if you still want me.

Now, wait a minute. Wait. Wait.

Look, I got a lot of
time invested in you.

Now I know you're
mad about the 20 bucks,

so I won't take it off
your paycheck after all.

Now come to work!

I'll call you in a
couple of days.

A.J., listen to reason.

I'm trying to teach you how
to be a good investigator.

Now I know some of it's boring.

All of it's boring, Myron.

I need some time off.

You don't get no time off!

I want you in this
office in 20 minutes!

No can do, Myron.

My brother's got my car.

Besides which, I'm
two hours out of Miami

and I'm headed south.


- A.J.!
- What?

What are you doing?


[Mr. Minnow] Ms.
Fowler, as an attorney,

I'm sure you're aware
that private investigators

occasionally bend
the law, shall we say.

Do you approve of that practice?

When I hire an
investigator, I want results.

I'm not concerned with
how they're achieved.

I see.

Thank you, Ms. Fowler.

If we have any other
further questions,

we'll be in contact with you.

You're dismissed.

Mr. Minnow,

I'm sure the victims
of a witch hunt like this

are entitled to legal
counsel, are they not?

Witch hunt, Ms. Fowler?

This board was informed they
had not retained an attorney.

They have now.

Then you're saying the
only reason you drove

to Blackwater Key
with the diamond

was to discover if
it had been stolen,

and from whom?

That's right.

The way you figure it,
the Cuban was a thief,

he had been in Blackwater Key

for two weeks before he died.

Obviously, there
had been a robbery,

and it hadn't been
reported to the police.


I drove down to Blackwater Key.

A.J. and Janet took the boat.

We figured that if we split up,

and nobody knew we were
working on the case together,

we could cover that
much more ground.

We also figured that if Janet
wore the necklace long enough,

somebody was
bound to recognize it.

What can I do for ya?

Well, I just need to tie
up for a couple days.

Well, you can
leave her right here.

Charlie, give us a hand here.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

Stay, Marlowe. Thanks.


Play the winner, ma'am?

Sure. You think
you can handle it?

You sure know how
to handle that stick.

That little lady
could be a shark.


- So?
- So, um, you two fellas,
you live around here?

Well now, I wouldn't
exactly say that.

Oh. Well, are you
staying here at the hotel?

- Yeah.
- What's your game,
little lady?



[Man] But in your case,
maybe we'll make an exception.

Maybe it's those
two guys over there.

It's not the diamond
they're looking at.

- Did you feed Marlowe?
- Not yet.

Well, go feed him, please,
and make sure he gets some...

Will you please shut
up about the dog?

Well, Janet got a lot
of attention that night

but, uh, then again,
she usually does,

so that wasn't conclusive.

The next day though,
everybody came around

the hotel for Sunday
brunch after church.

So we set it up for
everybody to get

a real good look at that
diamond around her neck.

♪♪ [soft piano]

- Start 'em up, Gus.
- Will do, Mr. Stacey.

All right.

Another Ramos Fizz, sir?

- Uh, please.
- Yes, sir.

Well, hello, there, Gus.

- Hi. Lovely day, huh?
- Yes, sir.

Oh, yeah. Think you
got a table for us?

- [laughter]
- Just about any one you
take a fancy to, sir.

Thank you. Hello, Ernie.

How are ya?


Hey, there, Sam.

- Still here, huh?
- Yep, still here.

Gimme a Scotch and soda
when you get the time, Gus.

Sure thing, Mr. Manners.

- Gus?
- Yes, sir?

Who is that fellow over there?

His Honor, Judge
Elliot Morris Taylor.

He's the man around here.

He owns this hotel.

Owns that big boat outside.

Just about all the dry
land in Blackwater Key.

- [whistles]
- Yeah.

Who are all those
people with him?

Oh, that's
Mr. Stallings, the lawyer.

Senator Gershenson's wife.

And that's Mrs.
Stallings with him.

And that's the judge's
wife, Mrs. Taylor,

just getting up from the table.

Go to the ladies' room.

I don't need to go
to the ladies' room.

Will you please do me a favor

and go to the
ladies' room anyway?

- [laughter]
- And just make sure
you go past that table...

- on the way?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

- Hi. Excuse me?
- Yes, sir.

Could you send over
two Bloody Marys for us?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

Hey, Gus! The judge wants to
know if you can make a mint julep.

- [laughter]
- You tell the judge

that if he can drink them,
I sure can make them.

The judge is a
real card, isn't he?

[whispering] You are not
going to believe what I just saw.

I would swear that that
was Emmy's diamond.

[whispering] She
recognized it, all right.

She could hardly
keep her eyes off it.

Listen, I don't think
this is such a good idea.

- Judge Taylor...
- Whoa!

Charlie! Stop that!
What are you doing?

I don't like the way
he's been bothering you.

He's not bothering me!

Let's take it easy. The
fight's all over, okay?

- Out of my way.
- Sto...

- Take it easy.
- Stop!

Nice work, stranger.
Just keep it up.

Now, you just hold
it right there, Charlie.

I wasn't doing nothing, Sheriff.

Then why are you in the pool?

Now, Charlie,

if you want to spend
another night in jail,

that's all right by me.

Or... you can just
get on up out of there

and walk away.

- Gus?
- Yes, sir.

You want to give this
man here a drink on me.

Will do, Sheriff.

You all right, son?

[groans] Uhh...

Yeah, I'm fine,
Sheriff. Thank you.

- [groaning]
- I'm just glad I was here
to help you out.


[Rick] So, that's when we
knew that the plan had worked.

See, we had flushed out
the owner of the necklace,

we just didn't know which
one of the ladies it was.

Which you could
have easily found out

by identifying yourself
to Judge Taylor

and explaining the situation.

Not the way I work, Senator.

I don't understand why
the man attacked you.

Well, neither
did I, at the time.

Um, see, he had
a crush on Kitty.

Maybe he was jealous.

I figured either that or
somebody in the judge's party

wanted to make a hasty exit

and put him up
to it as a diversion.

I see.

I think it's time we moved on
to the charges of grand theft.

Sheriff, you have the
outstanding warrants

for the arrest of Richard
and Andrew Simon?


I surely do, Mr. Minnow.

Very well.

Please tell the board
the circumstances

surrounding these warrants.

I'd be right happy to.

[loud whispering]

[loud whispering]

But I'm gonna have
to have a name.

It's... It's like a team name,
like Oilers or the Steelers.

- Ms. Fowler?
- Brewers. Brewster.

- That's it. That's it.
- You're sure?

Ms. Fowler, if you don't
mind, we'd like to proceed.

Mr. Minnow, I'm going to have to
leave the hearing for a few minutes.

But before I do,
I'd like to point out

that my clients have the right to
hear all the charges against them

and to request time to
respond to each in turn.

Ms. Fowler, this is
not a court of law.

If you don't approve of
the results of this hearing,

you're free to file for
an appeal afterwards.

Is that clear?

Yes, that's perfectly clear.

Be right back.

Don't worry.

Now, then, Sheriff,

as to the matter of
grand theft auto...

- Auto?
- For the love of...

That's ridiculous. Look...

You stole that woman's
car, and you know it.

You know perfectly
well I had permission

to borrow that car from
Kitty Kramer herself!

- Gentlemen!
- [Men shouting at once]


There is a perfectly
simple explanation

- for all of this.
- We borrowed that car.

Actually, A.J. borrowed it.

All right, look. What happened
was Janet had to get back to work.

So she drove my
car back to Miami.

Well, now I wish I
didn't have to go home.

I'm starting to get worried.

There's nothing to worry about.

Charlie simply has a
crush on Kitty, that's all.

That is not what I'm
worried about, A.J.

I'm worried about you
two being alone down here.


Okay, yeah, I liked
it better this time.

I could keep an
eye on you, at least.

Well, don't worry. It's
not a dangerous job.

A.J., do you lie to
me 'cause you like it

or 'cause you just
can't help yourself?

If I ever lied to you...
Which I never do...

It would simply be
because you're so beautiful

that just looking at ya
gets me all confused.


Hey, I want to talk to you.


I just want you to
know something.

I'm not giving up on him.

What do you mean?

I mean, you're not taking
him away from me, Rick.

I'm gonna marry him.

I don't want him. What
do you think I am, anyhow?

Well, I think you're his
brother and his best friend,

and I also think that everyone's
gotta grow up sooner or later.

Except for you, maybe.

If you wanted to marry
me, I would grow up.

No, you wouldn't.

You think you're Peter Pan.


You know, he wants
to marry you, too.

If anything happens
and he gets hurt,

I'll kill you.

You take care, lady.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.




- Rick!
- Whu-ohh!

A little help here.

Hate to do this to you, Charlie.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm fine.

- No, you're not.
- Huh?

- He cut me!
- Hey! Let him go!

Let him go.

Are you two friends
or something?

No, no.

I just seem to be around
when he's in trouble.

We found the knife.

That Charlie's long gone.

You gonna want to
file charges on him?

Oh, you people all seem
to think that he's cute!

I hate to tell you this Sheriff,

but he was trying to
kill... You're damned right

I want to file charges on
him. Attempted murder.

- Whatever you say.
- Fine.

I'll put out a warrant on him,

but I can't guarantee
we're gonna catch him.

Stand up, please.

Wait a minute, what
do you talkin' about

you don't think you're
gonna catch him?

He lives right here
in Blackwater Key.

Everybody in this
town knows him.

Well, he lives out
in the swamps.

Charlie's a little
touched in the head.

He always has been.

But he knows that scrub
like his own backyard.

And if he don't
want us to catch him,

we won't.

- Oh, great.
- Drop your trousers.

Just how much damage
did he do to me, Doc?

I'm gonna give
you a tetanus shot.

If it gives you
any more trouble,

come back again tomorrow.

Now Doc, I don't think he's
gonna be around tomorrow.


Just what did you mean by that?

Sit down, son.

I believe I'll stand.

Now look, boy,
Charlie's got it in for you

on account of that
little cocktail waitress.

I ain't never seen
him like this before.

Sooner or later,
we gonna catch him.

If I was you, I wouldn't
hang around town

waiting for it to happen.

I mean... he could
come after you again.

[clears throat]
Excuse me, Sheriff.

Maybe it's none of my business,

but I'm a visitor
here, just like...

this gentlemen.

Now, are you saying

that you can't offer us
protection in this town?

I am just telling
you what I'd do

if Charlie was after me.

You go on and do what you want.

Uh, Doc,

I hadn't been sleeping
too well around here.

I was just wondering if
maybe you had something

around the office
here, like a sleeping pill,

or something like that.

I'm sorry.

I don't think I can
help you, Mr. Simon.

Oh, well, I... Oh,
no. That's all right.

Never mind.

[phone ringing]

Yeah? Hello.

- [Janet] A.J.?
- No. What's wrong?

Isn't he there?

Janet, what's wrong?

I'm being followed.

- Followed?
- Yes.

Well, where are you?

I'm in Miami.

All right, you listen to me.

You drive to a police
station and park the car.

I'm at a police station.
I'm in a phone booth.

Look, I'm scared to go home,
A.J. I don't know what to do.

No, don't go home. I want
you to go to Rick's house.

- Can you see who it is?
- Well, not really.

But I think he's Cuban.


Means he's following
the car, not her.

How long would it take
us to get to your place?

Twenty minutes if we
had a car, but we don't.

We'll get one.


I need the keys to your car.

Here's 20 bucks. Take a taxi.

- I'll be back later.
- A... A... A...

- [door slams]
- A.J.!

[loud thud, glass shattering]

[horn blaring]


Wait a minute! Wait!

What's your name?
What's your name?

Fernando! Fernando Valecia.

- You got a gun?
- Yes.

Please, don't kill me.

Not here.

Let's take him to the dock.
We can sink him in the water.

What are you always
in such a hurry for?

I want to talk to him first.

Come on, get up on your feet.

- No, please, no!
- Move!

I don't know where the money is.

- You'll have to kill me.
- Get over there!

[whispers] Money?

We think you do
know where it is.

I don't know where it is.

Armando was the
only one who knew.

- Armando's dead!
- I know he's dead!

But he was supposed
to meet us afterwards.

He was the one
who hid the money.

He was gonna tell
us where he hid it.

We split up after the job.

And he took everything with him.

I don't know where he took it!

I swear to you!

I thought you
were looking for it

when you went to
see Armando's wife.

The kid on the motorcycle.
And you thought I was paranoid?

Well, even paranoids
can have enemies.

All right, Fernando.

Get up. We're
not gonna kill you.

We don't know where
the money is, either.

Come on. Get up, get up!

Can I have a glass
of water, please?

- [gun cocks]
- Okay, okay.

It was in a boat,
it was a big boat,

down in Blackwater Key.

A lot of rich people
there. A lot of money.

I've never seen so
much money in my life.

Jewelry, watches...

At least a half a
million dollars in there.

Half a million
dollars on a boat?

No. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Whose money was this?

You don't know?

[gun cocks]

It was a poker game.

Cash on the table.

Was this part of it?

I don't know. Maybe, yeah.

Maybe it belonged to one
of the women. We took it all.

Why didn't you split it
up, right then and there?

Because it was an
inside job, that's why!

You see, we were
just hired to do the job.

Armando was the
one who got us in to it

and then he goes and gets
in that stupid accident of his,

and he dies on us.

I couldn't believe it.

All that money, still
down there somewhere

and nobody knows where!

- You know something, pal?
- What?

I think you better get
into another line of work.

- Hey?
- Yeah?

Tell your friends to
forget about the money.

I will. I will.

- We got 'em!
- We got 'em! We got 'em! We got 'em!

- The only ones!
- What a team!

We're the only ones who
know anything about...

- Don't go back there.
- Wha...

Well, I... I have to.

For one thing, my
boat's down there.

Okay then, go get your
boat and come home.

Ah... No. Just a couple of days.

Just a couple of days.

No, I know you two.

You think you're gonna
find the money and keep it.

That's not a bad idea.

No, it's a stupid idea, Rick!

Two people are already dead.

Hey, one of those
was an accident.

It wasn't an accident.

There's a killer down there.

What's the matter
with you, A.J.?

What difference does it
make how much money there is

if you end up dead?


Would you please get out of it?

[laughs] Honey, I can't.

Oh, baby, I can't!

Look, for one thing, I've
got a client down there.

Now, you don't
want me to throw her

to the wolves, do you?

Hey, besides...

all that money down there...

that's just buried treasure.

And the guy that finds it...

Oh, he could buy a lot of fur
coats for the lady that he loves.

We live in Florida, A.J.

I don't want a
fur coat! [sniffing]

Hey, it's all
right. It's all right.

You'll see. Rick'll
take care of me.


Fine. Goodbye.

Hey, Janet.


I can't live like
this anymore, A.J.!

I won't go through this again.

I don't want to see you anymore.


I'll drive your car
to my apartment.

You can pick up the
keys when I'm not there.

Hey, come on!

Come back here. Come on, Janet.

[car starts]


Come on back here!


Hey, you know that just
means she loves you.

It's obvious they planned to find the
missing money and keep it for themselves.

That's exactly what
we planned to do.

What would you have done?

- Any luck?
- Yeah. Found him.


All right, look, the
money was up for grabs.

But that's not
the important part.

The important part
is that we were trying

to get our client's
car back to her

and see what we could
do about the fact that

she was getting ripped off!

But I believe your client
terminated your services

that evening, did she not?

And then subsequently
filed a complaint against you

that you'd stolen her car?

Well, she didn't have
any choice in either case.

I mean, I'm sure she filed
that complaint under duress.

She didn't look like
in no duress to me.


Well, she was.

Look, by the time we got
back to Blackwater Key

things were heating
up down there.

I mean, we didn't realize
it at the time, of course,

but we were being followed.

Check Point, this
is Watch Dog 3.

[over radio] The one you're
looking for just went by me.

Roger 3, I got 'em. Over.

You can let me
out here. I'll walk.

You go give Kitty her car back.

And cheer up.

Sure. Right. Cheer up.



Real friendly dog
you got out there.

What the hell you
doin' on my boat?

Inventory of contents
prior to impound.

My name's David Stallings.

I'm the city attorney
for Blackwater Key.

This boat belongs to us.

You got a piece of
paper that says so?



Now it belongs to me again.

Either you get off of my boat,

or you're gonna go swimming.


You're under arrest.

Arrest? For what?

Um, burglary. Auto.

Oh, come on. I
borrowed that car!

No, you didn't.

Let's go.


[dog barking]


Would you tell him
to feed Marlowe?

You tell him yourself.


- [car starts]
- Hey!

Feed the dog!

What have they
got you like that for?

That's just for their
own protection.

You boys have been keeping me up

past my bedtime.

Now, that's an inconvenience

I don't need at my age.

The fact is,

it seems that since
you've been down here,

you've caused
nothing but trouble.

I want to finish this business.

Now, you have something

that belongs to a very
dear friend of mine.

Give it to me.

They, uh, asked me
to hold it for 'em, Judge.

Oh, well, thank you, Earl.

Thank you. Yes. Yes.

Uh, Miss Kitty?

I've been talking to
Senator Gershenson,

and in the light
of your honesty,

and the trouble ya'll took
to return his wife's property,

he wants to give you a reward.




I hope that's satisfactory.

Now, you just put
this whole business

out of your mind and
you go on home there

and I don't think anything
is going to happen

to your two friends.

Of course, that's up to them.

- [door opens]
- And, uh,
Miss Kitty,

I intend to open up, personally,

a new investigation
on Lester's death.

And, if for any reason,

we believe that
there was no suicide,

you'll get your insurance money.

Every penny of it,

without having to
pay any commission

to anybody.

Good night, Miss Kitty.

Good night.

Bring 'em.

I don't like city boys
coming into my county

looking to take money
from nice people.

We look after our own down here.

Son, am I getting
through to you?

Men that shoot
animals for the hell of it

don't impress me.

Oh, let's take it
easy, Rick. Come on.

Your brother's
smarter than you are.

Well, I never was very smart.

But I can tell a man with
a problem when I see one.

And you've got a problem.

You're just lucky
you got us here

to help you out with it.

Now, maybe Kitty told you

that we recover
things people have lost.

Things like money.
It's our business.

Son, please.

Don't you try to hustle me.

Aw, now, Judge.
Don't be so hasty.

Your little poker game

got knocked off
for quite a bundle.

And it just might
be, that with our help,

you could get that money back.

Less our commission, of course.

Poker game?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you
remember the one on your boat?

About 3:00 in the
morning, four guys came in

and just cleaned you out.

We know who they were.

Well, I suggest you tell me.

Oh, no, that
wouldn't do any good

if I did tell ya.

I don't have the money.

Nah, see, they were
hired by somebody

that was in the
game to do the job.

And I'd just be
willing to bet you

that that somebody

is standing right
here in this room

right now.

Five players?


Senator Gershenson.

Business in Washington,
otherwise he'd be here.

Anybody else on the boat?

The wives.

Uh, David.

Uh... Gus tended bar.

Tommy Luna drove the boat.

What were your stakes?

Son, I can smell a bluff
clear across six counties,

and you're beginning to stink.

Yeah, well I'm not getting
any fonder of you, either.

But I never let personal
feelings interfere with business.

Now, when we do
recover your money,

our cut of it is 50%.

Agreed? Shake on it?

Your sense of humor
is beginning to wear thin.

I've a mind to make
life miserable for you

just on general principles.

Well then, why don't
you just shoot us

and hang us up
there on the wall?

Hey, Rick, uh,

that's no way
to talk to a client.

[clears throat] Your Honor,

maybe we ought to
arrange a stay in a county jail

for these boys.

No. What would be the point?

Either they got
information we need,

or they haven't.

And I'm betting they haven't.

Well then, you're just
not as good a poker player

as you thought you were, Judge.

You got a murderer runnin'
around here somewhere.

And just as soon as you find out

who it was that
killed Les Kramer,

that's when you're gonna
find out who set up this job.

Now, notice that I didn't say
you were gonna find the money.

Why didn't you say that?

Well, because the only man

who knew where
that money was hidden

was killed in a
hit-and-run auto crash.

That money's lost.


So you couldn't recover it
even if we wanted you to.

Could you?

Talked yourself into
a hole, didn't you?

- Earl?
- Yes, sir.

I want the two boys out of
here on the boat in the morning.

And boys, if you're wise,
you won't mention this.

We've been playing poker
together for a long time.

If one of us turned crooked,

we don't want to report it.

We want to deal
with it ourselves.

Matter of pride, not money.

Who you tryin' to kid, Judge?

It's a matter of
taxes, isn't it?

Now, you couldn't
report that robbery,

'cause if you did

the IRS would get
mighty interested

in why none of your
winners ever paid any.

Is that correct, Senator?

The robbery was not
reported for tax purposes?

Well, I really couldn't
say, Mr. Minnow.

The decision not
to report the robbery

was made without
my consultation.

And of course, I
always report winnings

at gambling to the IRS.

I'm sure.

Go on.

Ah, so the good Sheriff

locked us up for the night

and while we were in jail,

somebody sneaked
on board my boat.

[growling, barking]


I hope it wasn't too bad
for you fellas last night.

Listen, look this over,

sign it, and you'll
get your boat back.

Is it all here?

You boys leaving, are ya?

Well, now, I figured we
might do a little fishin'.

Uh, you know any good spots?

Well, depends on
what you want to catch.

Well, where did you
take the judge's boat

the night of the poker game?


Ain't you got no work to do?

Then do it.

Uh, Tommy, wait up a minute.

Uh, what do you say we
hire you for a few hours

and you run us out there?

I'll give you 50 bucks.

Now, you two are leaving town.

Now, there's no harm
in us doing a little fishing

on the way out, is there?

Don't worry, Sheriff.

You're never going
to see us again.

Is there any way I
can stop them, legal?

And keep Tommy
from making money?

Sheriff, it's a free country.

Thought you two
was going fishing.

- We are fishing.
- Yeah, for what?

What's out there, Tommy?

Mangrove swamp.

Any roads through it?


Ain't nothing worth getting to.

All right now, you're Armando.

Where do you hide the money?

I'd head for shore.
I'd hide the boat.

Dig a hole, bury the money.

And then you just...

And then I just walk
right on out of there.

I'd get in my car
and I'd drive away.

If I was stopped, that'd
be clean as a whistle.


Anytime you feel
like coming back,

you come back
and get your money.

Well, let's go take a look.

Maybe we'll get lucky.

[high-pitched beep]

- [barking]
- Come on!


[Sheriff] That sure is a mess.

What happened to it?

[A.J.] What happened to it?

What do you think
happened to it?

It blew up!

Somebody put a bomb on it.

Now, take it easy, boy.

Who'd want to put a
bomb on your boat?

Well, I can think of at least
half a dozen people for starters.

Keep your voice down.

You're not as smart as you look.


In my experience,
boats just don't blow up!

Something makes it happen!


That somebody

put on board my boat last night

when you had us in the slammer!

Shut your mouth.

I seen boats worse than
that after a gasoline fire.

By the way,

how come you two boys
weren't on that boat?

- Judge.
- Wha...

Are you actually disappointed

that only one man got killed?

What the hell are
you doin' over here?

Gonna rent you a car.

- [Man] Hello, Your Honor.
- [Woman] Hello, Your Honor.

Get 'em the hell away
from these people.

Ah, boys,

if you expect any
insurance money

on your boat,

uh, keep your mouth
shut about any bomb.

I don't want any state
police or federal agents

snooping around down here.

Is that the only
thing you care about?

Keeping your lousy
poker game a secret?

That and getting
my money back, yes.

You know, boys,

I have a file on
you in my office,

charging you with
possession of stolen goods,

obstruction of justice,

assault and battery,
insurance fraud,

suspicion of burglary,
suspicion of murder,

and Lord knows what else.

Get 'em away from here!

They're gettin'. Let's go.

[scoffs] This is
ridiculous, Mr. Minnow.

They're trying to tell
you that all of the charges

against them in Blackwater Key

were fabricated by
Judge Morris Taylor,

a man who happens to
be a personal friend of mine

and a pillar of his community.

It appears you're
right, Senator.

There was half a million dollars

lying around in that
swamp somewhere.

And the last thing
the judge wanted

was for us to find
it before he did.

There's a problem with
your logic, Mr. Simon.

You had no idea where
to look for the money.

Well, that, uh,
is... That's true.

But, see, we knew that
there was an inside man

who did know where
to look for the money

so all we had to do, see,

was just flush him out.

Hey. You mind?


Too bad about your boat.

Too bad about Tommy.

Pelican Rents.

Been a pleasure.

[Rick] See you around, Judge.

Marlowe, lie down. Down.


Good dog.

All right, why don't you
take a look in the mirror

and check out this
car that's behind us?

You ever seen it before?

Yeah, it was in the
hotel parking lot.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

I think it's following us.

Sure it is. You're
getting paranoid again.

Pull in up there.


Well, I'm starting to get mad.

We've been shoved
around and threatened

and run out of town
and damn near killed.

I lost my client,
you lost your boat.

- My girl.
- And the money.

And we got as much right to
that as any of those vultures.

[Rick] Excuse me. Hi, there.

We want to trade this thing in

for something with some guts.

This is crazy.

We're gonna die of old
age out in that swamp.

You remember the other
night when Janet was talking.

She said she never
wanted to see you again.

Oh, thank you, Rick.
Now I can die happy.

No, she said something about that
Armando's death wasn't an accident.

Well, what if it wasn't?

What if the inside
man on this thing

is too greedy?

He didn't want to
share it with Armando.

He didn't want to
share it with Les Kramer.

- No, no, no.
- What?

- It doesn't make any sense.
- How come?

Because the inside man
was on board the boat.

Now there's no way in the world

that he could
have killed Arman...

Unless there was a third man.

That's right. A third man.

Somebody who was
supposed to meet Armando

and take him to some
pre-designated hiding place

out here in this swamp.

Well, he did that

but then he followed
him out again.

That money's not lost.

They know exactly where it is,

and they're gonna take us to it.

Who's gonna take us to it?

We still don't know
who the inside man was.

Will you use your head for
something besides a hat rack!

We don't have to know
who the inside man was,

we know somebody who
knows who the inside man was.

Oh, we do do we! Who?


Les Kramer died of
an overdose of alcohol

and sleeping pills, right?

- Right.
- Where do you get alcohol?

- Liquor store.
- Where do you get
sleeping pills?

Oh, hi.

Uh, Doc, I was wondering

if you could take a
look at this arm of mine.

I'm sorry. I have guests.


Well, it is beginning
to bother me,

and you told me that I
ought to come by and see you

if it troubled me.

I really hate to put you out,

but you're the
only doctor in town.

Come in.

I'm surprised it's
bothering you, Mr. Simon.

I could redress it, but
if it's really serious...

Well, I'll tell you
the truth, Doc,

something else all
together's been bothering me.

I really don't have
time for something else.

Uh, about Les Kramer.

And the barbiturates you
injected into his stomach

after he was dead.

Get out of my house.


I'm calling the sheriff.

Now, why don't we talk first?

You threatening me?

Ahh. Well, yeah.

You boys are already
in a lot of trouble.

Well, geez, so are you, Doc.

I mean, Les Kramer
didn't kill himself,

and your autopsy said he did.

The autopsy was performed
by the county medical examiner.


Well, how did you get
the barbiturates into him?

I don't have to stand for this.

I don't think that gun of
yours means anything.

Not here.

Witnesses in the backyard.

How much was your share
of the money gonna be?

I hope it was a lot

'cause you're
flat gonna need it.

I'm walking out of this room.

We know where the money is,

and we're gonna get it,
but that's not good enough.

We're gonna get you, and
we're gonna get your partner.


I thought he'd never leave.


"We know where the money is."

[chatter, laughter]

[Rick] Now we knew the
general area in the swamp

where the money
had to be hidden.

Only problem was
we had to get out there

and find a place
to hide and wait.

And then when the
inside man showed up,

we'd just let him
lead us to the money.

'Course, with A.J. drivin',

didn't quite work out that way.

Ah, it's just a
little mud puddle.

It can't be all
that deep. Hit it.

Hit it!

All right.

Great drivin'.

Just terrific.

[engine revving]

[engine stalls]


Don't get your gun wet.

- [dog whines]
- Stay in there, Marlowe.

Just get in.

No use in all of us gettin' wet.

Oh, boy.



Hey, while you're out there,

could you get the
windshield for me?

Wonder what Janet's
doing right now.


Look, just trust me.

She'll be there
when you get back.

Think she meant
it when she said...

Ahhh... She didn't
want a fur coat?

A woman hasn't been
born doesn't want a fur coat.

Get off my back.

Well, where you
suppose she'd wear it?

At home, with the air
conditioning turned all the way up.

All right.

- Okay, try it one time.
- [engine starts]

[engine revving]

Shut it off!

Somebody's coming.
Let's get out of here.


All right, now just take it easy

and don't get too close.

Get the shovel, Charlie,
and come with me.


Hurry it up! What
all's in there?

This guy lives here.

He's got food in there

and a case of rifle
shells and a detonator.

[Rick] You see
who's in the jeep?

[A.J.] Not from here.

Nice guy. Doesn't even help.

Got to be our money.


Oh, my God!

Stay down. I'm drawing fire.

Watch it!

A.J., pull up. Let
me check this guy.

How is he?


Go, go, go, go!

Don't let him get
back to the beach.

You wanna drive?

Look, there's a case of
rifle shells in that shack!

Hit your lights. Blind him!

Hold it! Hold it right there!

I said hold it!

Right there! Get
out of the jeep.

Put your hands on your head!

[gun clicks]


Just stay down!
Stay low! Stay low!


Who was that? What happened?

[Man over speaker] Are
you two all right down there?

[Rick yelling] Who
are those guys?

[A.J. yelling] Hey!

Who are you guys?

Name's Brewster,
Internal Revenue Service!

You're the IRS?

- Yes.
- He's the IRS!

He's that guy that
was following us!

Like to think you'd
be glad I was!

Stallings very
nearly killed you.

Hey, what are you talking about?

We had him right
where we wanted him!


Are you crazy?


What's gonna
happen to the money?

It's been confiscated
by Uncle Sam.

Hey! Hey!

Uh, there's not any chance

of a reward on this or anything?

Well, technically,

you never had
possession of the money!

Well, yeah, but see, we...

And I'm not so sure
if you'd had had it,

you'd have given it back to us!

Well, yeah, but see,
you probably, uh...

You're probably
right about that.

Look, if you ever
have any problems

with your income
tax, gimme a call.

I'll see if I can help you.

I don't have any income to tax!

Hey! Can we get a ride?

Not this trip! But
thanks for the help!

If it hadn't been for you guys,

we wouldn't have
cracked this case!


Don't go away!

We'll be back for ya!

Wouldn't dream of it!

He said "Don't go away."

Oh, I wouldn't dream of it!

- [dog barking]
- Marlowe!

I talked to the
insurance agent again.

And he said it might
take a month or two

to get the claim processed
and the check written.

And that's if Dr. Percy
pleads guilty in court.

Which he won't.

I might have to wait
until the trial's over

and they find him guilty.

If they do.

I might not ever get this money.

You'll see it.

I'll send you the
check when I do.

- I promise.
- I believe you.

Guess I'll see you later.

Well, hello, Judge.

Come on in. Sit
down. Have a beer.


How you doin', Earl?

Make yourself at home.

If you two boys ever set foot

in my county again,

I will personally assure you

a stay in the county jail,

a trial by a jury of your peers,

and a long stretch in
the state penitentiary.


Uh, I don't suppose we'd have to

break a law or
anything like that...

Absolutely not.

No, no. We will provide
all the particulars.

You boys don't know me.

I'm a vengeful man,

and you cost me a
great deal of money,

and I don't intend to forget it.

- Sheriff!
- Oh, no, Earl.

Don't trouble yourself.

We can find our own
way out of town by now.

Judge, I just want you to know,

that seeing you come out
on the short end of the stick

has made it all worthwhile.

What are you doin'?

I'm thirsty.





- Hi.
- Hi.

Kitty called and said
you were stranded.

- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah?

You gonna let us in, or what?

Well, where is it?

Where's what?

Where's my fur coat?


Janet, you do not need
a fur coat in Florida.


Well, are you
going back to work?

- A.J.!
- All right!

All right. I'll go back to
work for Peerless Detectives!

What about him?

Just fishin' trips, okay?

- Okay.
- No, you're lying
to me again.

- Am I lying to her?
- No, absolutely not.

Just fishin' trips. [gasping]

All right. See?

Okay. Are you gonna
run all the way to Miami?

[A.J.] It wasn't long after
that Myron was transferred

to the Peerless Detectives
office in San Diego.

And just a few months later,

he called and offered me a job,

and I decided to move
back to California.

Janet and I...

eventually decided that marriage

was not in the cards for us.

Then when I got my
private investigator's license

in California, Rick
moved back also,

and we went into
business together.

And I don't think you'll
find any criminal charges

against us in the
State of California.

While I was gone from
the hearing, Mr. Minnow,

I made contact with
Special Agent Brewster

from the Internal Revenue
Service in Washington.

He gave me a statement
over the telephone,

which I've transcribed for you.

I think you'll see he, uh,

corroborates everything
my clients have said.

[gavel pounding]

It's the finding of the board

that the allegations against you

on the books of the
county of Blackwater Key,

State of Florida,

are without merit in California.

Senator, the board has
considered the matter

of the damages to the car

you were driving
here in San Diego.

And it's our finding that
Richard and Andrew Simon

acted improperly in
commandeering the vehicle

for a high speed chase and
consequently damaging it.

The board has elected to impose

a fine on the firm of Simon
& Simon Investigations

in the amount of... $100.

Which, in light of
the inconvenience

they've suffered as a
result of this hearing,

the board feels is adequate.

Have a nice flight, Sheriff.


You're back in business.

- Thanks a lot.
- Thank you very much.

- [sighs]
- Well.


Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA