Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 2, Episode 12 - Psyched Out - full transcript

Come on, boys, what
are we really after, here?

- Tell the doctor.
- [growling]

[Announcer] Tonight
on Simon & Simon...

That's enough!

He's in the worst physical
condition we've ever tested.

- Which one of the village
idiots is that?
- You.

I'm certain that something
is being covered up here.

- You talking about murder?
- Oh, my God.

I'm sick and tired of seeing
bright, young people turn up dead.

- Okay, what do we got here?
- Suicide.

Yesterday, I tried to fly



off of the top of
the art building,

and I thought I could do it!

- Hey, wait! Wait!
- Aah!

♪♪ [theme]

[horn honking]

[shouting]

[shouting, cheering]

[Man] Allen, we're over here.

Hi, guys.

Great party, huh?

Well, at least they haven't
called the riot squad yet.

Come on, guys. Lighten
up, shall we, huh?

The night is young.
Why ruin the party?

So what do you
want to talk about?



Astronomy?

See, I think that one
there is the Big Dipper.

Let's cut the jive, Allen.
You know what we want.

Sure. But I'm not going
to change your minds...

[laughing] what
minds you got left.

And you're not
going to change mine.

It's a Tijuana standoff, okay?

No. It's too important.

You wrote letter to
Altman. Where is it?

It's his program. He's got a right
to know what you're doing with it.

He's got a right to nothing.

He's getting what he wants.

We're getting what we want.

Where's the letter?

[grunts]

♪♪ [rock]

[chatter]

[Man screaming]

- [thud]
- What was that?

[Woman] Let's go outside
and see what happened.

[Man] Who is that?

[Man #2] What's going on?

[Woman] Somebody
call an ambulance.

Excuse me. Excuse us.

Allen. [groans]

[Man] Who is that?

[Woman] I don't know.

Oh, my God.

[crying] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, Allen.

[Man] Someone
better call the doctor...

- [Woman] Get an ambulance.
- [Man] or something.

[whistle blowing]

Carol, what happened to the 440?

- Carol.
- What?

Oh.

It's been two months now.

Everything has been
thought and said about Allen.

Well, not by me.

[conversation
continues indistinctly]

Take your mark.

All right.

Set.

Go.

Is she okay?

She's actually talking
about hiring a detective

to investigate her
brother's death.

That's crazy.

The police at the university
went over everything.

She ought to
hire a psychiatrist,

not a private investigator.

Yeah.

Hey, there she is.

[ignition starts]

Whoa, wait a minute.

Let me give you
a hand with that.

Yeah, all right, I know.
You don't need any help.

I'm being a male
chauvinist, but I can't help it.

See, I used to be a Boy Scout.

As a matter of fact,
I just got through

helping a little old
lady across the Pacific

who is now happily sipping
prune juice in Hawaii.

How could I argue
with a line like that?

Can't be done. Oh. [laughing]

What do you got in here?

There you go. One more time.

Aah!

- There we go.
- Now, where to?

Oh, just to that little
dingy office upstairs.

Oh, that place.
That's an eyesore.

You know, that's brought
property values down

in the whole neighborhood?

It's an awful place.

You two know each other?

Hi, I'm the first Simon.

I'm Rick.

Hi. I'm Carol Davis.

Hi. Now, what's all this about?

Uh, her... her brother
was Allen Davis.

Remember?

He was killed in a fall off
Kappa Omega Fraternity

- over at Western Unversity.
- Oh, yeah.

Your brother was some runner.

I saw him once at the
Southwest Regionals.

- He could float, oh!
- Thank you.

Listen, I called my friend
at the coroner's office,

and he pulled
the autopsy report.

The only thing that he
could find that wasn't normal

was that he'd been drinking.

But here, here. Hey,
hey, hey, hold this.

But since the alcohol
level was only 0.085...

What alcohol?

The alcohol in his
blood was 0.085.

But the legal limit is 0.1,

so they didn't
bother to report it.

That's impossible.

I don't know how the alcohol
got in Allen's bloodstream,

but I know he didn't drink it.

Allen couldn't even
hold a beer down.

He was allergic to alcohol.

Of course, he
didn't tell anybody

because he was too macho.

All right, now, he was killed on
a fall off the fraternity house roof.

Maybe it was some
kind of a hazing thing.

You know how that
happens all the time.

No. He was an upper-classman.

Listen, I'm certain
that something

is being covered up here.

Do you have any idea
of what, or by whom?

Well, the university is not
in great shape financially,

and bad publicity could hurt it.

Or the K.O. house,

they've got alumni
with big connections,

and the house has
had trouble before.

It could shut it down.

Carol, what are you
talking about, here?

- You talking about murder?
- I don't know.

But I know that there's
something wrong here.

[sobbing] Look,

I just can't stop
thinking about it,

and now this alcohol thing.

Please, I don't have
anybody else to turn to.

He was my brother.

Okay. Come on.

I can't even get out to eat.

What can I tell you?

I got autopsies
coming out of my ears.

It's a jogger explosion.

Joggers?

Yeah, they keep trying to outrun

cars, buses, trucks.

I tell you, I see some great
cardiovascular systems.

If these guys
weren't already dead,

they'd live a long time.

Oh, here you go.

Allen Davis.

Okay. Now what we're looking for

is any kind of a needle mark.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
This kid was no hype.

I remember the job well.

Come on, boys, what
are we really after, here?

Tell the doctor.

Well, any way that alcohol could
have gotten into his bloodstream

without going past his throat?

[A.J.] Kid was
allergic to alcohol.

Anything taken orally
would've been vomited back up.

Well, if we're talking murder,

you're going to
have to exhume him.

- That takes a court order.
- Mmm.

Wait a minute.

Look.

See that mark?

I remember that.

Don't ask how. I
mean, I'm just amazing.

It bothered me at the time.

But with a kid on
the track team...

[sighing]

it could be the way
he was injected.

But since I wasn't looking
for anything at the time...

I do five stiffs a day.

What is that, a solid maybe?

The best I can do
without the body.

Would you ask Rubinstein to
make Chopin without a piano?

Certainly not.

Well, I got a patient waiting.

It's not like he's going
anywhere or anything.

It's just that he's laying
around getting ripe.

- God. Leaving.
- Oh, thanks.

Jerry, we'll see to it that you get
your piano and everything, okay?

Okay, guys.

[yawning]

Well, that's it for me.

How are you doing?

Rick?

[murmuring]

- Aah!
- [gunfire]

I like it.

I burn the midnight oil,
you burn The Late Show.

I think better with the TV on.

Oh, you breathe better
with the TV on, too.

Nice and regular.

If I were a cruel man,
I'd say you were asleep.

No, no, no. I'm on top of it.

See, I got, uh, Allen's
records right here,

his class schedule
and everything.

See, a Psychology
major. [sniffs]

So, I figure what I'll
do is in the morning,

I'll just, you know, go out
and hang around the campus.

- That's a very good
cover, actually.
- Uh-huh.

A lot of weirdoes hang
out around the campus.

So what are you going
to do, pledge a fraternity?

No. I'm going to be a
transfer student from Modesto,

and I'm going to
join the track team.

[snorts] Doing what?

[laughing]

[mumbling] I'm
gonna run the mile.

You're going to do what?

My old specialty, the mile!

[Rick guffawing]

[Coach] Come on,
move it, move it!

Come on, come on. Move it!

Huh!

A little rusty, but not bad.

You say you do this on
the steeplechase, too.

Okay.

I've had pretty good
luck with transfers.

You come back at 3:00,

and I'll set you up
with a locker, okay?

Who is he?

Who cares?

So long as he can run.

I'll see you after Psych 2.

We'll have lunch.

Hi. Want a donut?

Donuts aren't healthy.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm on the
Philadelphia diet.

It's where you build up
an immunity to junk food.

- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

You know where Psych 204 is?

- Yeah, I'm on my way.
- Oh, terrific.

You in the class, or you
just doing experiments?

I haven't decided yet.

- I do both.
- Yeah?

Professor Altman is wonderful.

He's really with it, if
you know what I mean.

Totally.

He gave us a lecture on The Who.

- Who?
- That's right.

You're old enough to see
them about a thousand times.

Anyway, this professor,
he showed us how The Who

is a psychosocial phenomenon.

How we find transferences

for our own fantasies
of sex and violence

in their music.

- No kidding.
- Really.

You can see for yourself.

His classroom is
something special,

like church, or video games.

Uh, these experiments,

now, are they the
kind you get paid for?

For sure. $22.50 an hour.

Uh, wait up. Um...

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah. Uh, sure.

Is this the place where you
sign up for the lab experiments?

You know, the $22.50 an hour?

- Yes, but everybody's at lunch.
- Oh. Oh.

When do they get back?
Because I really, you know...

I want to sign up
for the program.

Well, the next
session is at 1:30.

You could start then.

Oh. Terrific.

Aah!

Hey, buddy. Give me a
hand. Get me up here, huh?

What are you doing up here?

This is no time
for 20 questions!

Now come on, get me up!

Okay, okay, I'm morbid!

I wanted to see
where the guy fell!

[bones cracking] Aah. Aah.

Aah!

Stay away from the K.O. house.

Uh, right. Good idea.

- Got me?
- Oh, yeah. Aah.

Aah.

Nice talking to you.

[exhales]

Hey, guys!

I got mine in early.

Hey, I tore up the
whole 26 miles,

and I never felt better.

Two hours and 32 minutes.

- Terrific.
- Whoo.

The team really
looks good this year.

Keep up the good work, Elly.

Hey, I think the old
workout agrees with me.

But don't worry,

I'll have a nice, cool one
while I'm thinking of you guys.

Great Scott. Are you all right?

What do you mean?

Your feet are hamburger.

Hey, you're right.

Well, I think I'd better
have somebody look at that.

[Man] Okay.

[exhales]

[Rick] You just keep
looking for it, Roger.

It's there someplace,
I know it is.

Well, I found it. I just
can't count that fast.

Well, you know, a cold
brew will slow that down.

Come on, what do you say, buddy?

Let's go to the Union.
Quick time, right, huh?

You got to be kidding.

You've only been
here 20 minutes.

We pay $22.50 for an hour.

Yeah, well, if you guys would
put a clock up in here or something,

I'd know what I was doing.

- Then you'd know
how to pace yourself.
- Right.

That would screw up another
variable we're testing for.

Oh, I wouldn't
want to have that.

What is that? One of the seven
early warning signals of death?

[exhales]

[Altman] I got
to tell you, Rick.

You breezed through phase 1
easier than most of these kids.

I what?

Yeah, that includes over
half the varsity track team.

You're ready to
move up, phase 2.

Aw, gee. Good.

I was getting bored
with phase 1, bored stiff.

Okay, Roger.

I think phase 2 will
keep you nice and limber.

Oh, good.

[groans]

Hey, I'm all right.

- [electrical shock]
- Aah!

Why didn't you
tell me about that?

Nothing like direct
experience, right?

Yeah, my father
told me that once.

I remember distinctly.

I was, uh, over a sawhorse
in the woodshed at the time.

[chuckling]

Now you're in
your pleasure zone.

- Yeah.
- The sound is
your biofeedback.

You're putting out
nice alpha waves now.

You're a very happy man.

Yes, I am.

- [electrical shock]
- Aah! Aah!

I think you've got
the picture now.

Roger?

- [[electrical shock]
- Aah!

[Altman] Go easy with him, Mark.

He's in the worst physical
condition we've ever tested.

I want to work on your style.

Now if you lose,

give me an easy 880
with a 60-yard kick, okay?

Carol!

I'll give you a half a
mile with a patient.

She's dragging it, anyway.

Carol, I want you to
take an 880 with this guy.

But take it easy on
him, because he says

he's just getting over
a pulled groin muscle.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi.

[Coach] Remember,
run, plant, up, and over.

Alli, watch your lift!
You're not concentrating!

So did you find out anything?

Nothing I can put together.
Nothing about Allen.

Well, didn't Allen's
papers give you a lead?

Nothing suspicious.

[A.J.] Certainly nothing that
would lead to any sort of violence.

[Rick on intercom]
Okay, that's it!

- [treadmill speeding up]
- That's enough!

Hey, guys, uncle!

Mark, it's his first time.

Take it easy. That's enough.

It's not funny!

- [electrical shock]
- Aah!

Roger!

[breathing heavily]

[Altman] That's enough, Mark.

Mark.

Mark!

What the hell is wrong with you?

I'm sorry. I-I just got
into it too much that time.

We're not playing a game here.

You can't win in
this experiment.

That's not what it's all about.

Yeah, I know, um,

I just got into it a
little bit too much,

and, uh, lost control.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, I think
that's enough for today.

[footsteps walking away]

[sighing]

[Roger] It's okay. Take
long, deep breaths.

- You all right?
- Oh, yeah. I'm just peachy.

Who designed this thing
anyway, the Marquis de Sade?

I did.

[Rick grunts] Hell, you
know, you can make a fortune

selling this to
third-world dictators.

I was just about to tell the
deployment of all my troops,

but nobody asked.

- [expels breath]
- You're on the right track.

A few years back,

I was involved in a
study of returning POWs.

Some pretty incredible stuff.

Pretty incredible guys.

So we discovered.

I was amazed at their endurance.

Staggering, what the
human mind can do

when put to the test.

Anyway, let me buy you a drink.

Welcome to phase 2.

Well, I was just about to ask

where the lime juice
and the salt was.

What is that stuff?

A low molecular
weight polypeptide.

It's a protein
drink I cooked up.

It also replaces the
body's natural salts.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

[groans]

[sputters]

Ew!

Ugh!

Oh, that's awful.

I know it doesn't
taste like much,

but I'll bet you a buck
you start feeling good

the second it hits
your bloodstream.

You're on. Oh.

I think I might owe you a buck.

Matter of fact, I
do owe you a buck.

Huh.

Aah!

[giggling]

[A.J.] Wait a minute.

- Let me get this straight.
- Mm-hmm.

You're getting
paid $22.50 an hour

while you're on this case?

[Rick] Yeah. Why not?

[A.J. sighing] Never mind.

[Rick] What?

[A.J.] Boy, my legs are stiff.

Got muscles hurting I
didn't even know I had.

[Rick] Aww, poor baby.

How would you like
to run a marathon,

getting zapped by a cattle prod?

[A.J.] If Altman and the psych
lab isn't working out, just quit.

There's no point
in both of us being...

[Rick] Nah, nah, nah.

I don't think it's Altman.

I don't know why, I
kind of like the guy.

[A.J.] That's because
he's giving you money.

- Ah.
- You like anybody
that gives you money.

[Rick] That's true.

[A.J.] I think you were
a hooker in another life.

Nice place.

What?

Well, for what it is, it's nice.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, excuse me,

but I've been through
these records, and, uh,

you and you must be misinformed.

You can't exhume Allen Davis.

Yes, we can. We have an
order. It's signed by his sister.

Just before the internment,
we received a change.

What change?

To cremate Allen Davis.

You see, this is
signed by his sister, too.

That's my signature,

but I don't remember signing it.

I-I honestly don't remember.

Carol, think about it.

Now, they always give
you a big stack of papers.

Do you remember
which ones you did sign?

[crying] No.

So you could've
authorized the cremation.

Yes.

Gah.

- Num, num.
- [chuckles]

[exhales]

[Rick] She know I'm in here?

[Altman] She knows
someone's in here.

[Rick] Mmm.

- [electrical shock]
- [groans]

- Aah.
- Hey!

What is it with you in there?

Are you trying to take it easy
on me because I'm a woman?

- Come on, chump, turn it up.
- [electrical shock]

This isn't doing
anything for me.

- [electrical shock]
- Come on, Rick.

It won't get any better till
you go for your pleasure zone.

Yeah, but then she gets zapped.

It's all part of the experiment.

Come on.

You must give her pain
for you to get pleasure.

Come on.

- [electrical shock]
- [gasps]

Stay in there.

- [electrical shock]
- Aah!

- Roger.
- [Rick groaning]

[coughing]

Oh, man. Maybe we'd
better just call this off.

I don't think I'm
cut out for this.

It's okay.

Transition to phase
3 is always tough.

Here, drink up.

I don't know, I just...

I can't get myself to
shoot the juice to...

Look at how good
she feels out there.

Yeah, but you could
feel that good, too.

Come on.

Let's have a try at it again.

[sighing] Oh, what the hay.

All in the name
of science, right?

You got it.

Aah.

- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Altman] Roger?

- [electrical shock]
- Aah!

Come on.

- [electrical shock]
- Aah!

Come on, go for it.

I can't do this, man.

I can't do this to
another person.

Come on. Come on! [groaning]

Roger.

Okay. Just relax.

We'll take it again.

No, we won't.

Oh, come on.

No, we won't.

Now, come on, Rick.

[grunts]

Rick, come on. Take it easy!

Push off of it! Don't hurdle it!

Go back and try it again!

Okay, that's it. Keep going!

Go, go.

That's better. Come
on, let's get the last one.

Go, go.

Aah!

[groaning]

[Coach] Hank!

[A.J.] Aah!

Hi, Carol.

- Hi.
- Hey, there.

How you doing?

- Just fine.
- Good.

Are you sure you're okay?

Hey, look. My legs hurt
more than my shoulder does,

I promise you.

Okay.

You know, that smells
really good. What is it?

It's an old family
recipe for oxtail soup.

I thought chicken soup

was supposed to be
the universal cure-all.

No, for flesh
wounds, it's oxtail.

Mom has a mother complex.

On the other hand, it
was her who told me

to stay away from
football and stick to track

because it was safe.

Here's the police
report on your accident.

Accident?

That's what the report says.

The grounds people
were working on the pit,

and they must
have left the rake.

And they just accidentally
greased the top rail, huh?

They just changed the oil
on one of the lawnmowers.

It could've come from that.

An accident,
sure, just like Allen.

[clock chiming]

[knocking]

Come in.

Doctor, did you want to see me?

Yeah. Come in, Mark.

Is something wrong?

I thought the lab was
closed for the day.

I needed some privacy,
a lot of catch-up work.

[sighing] Sit down, Mark.

Hey, Doc, if this
is about yesterday,

I was just tired yesterday.

It all got away from me.

Yeah. Sit down.

Just look straight ahead.

What the hell's going
on down on the track?

Coach been pushing you too hard?

I heard about the
accident today.

Is the guy all right?

Oh, yeah. Sure, no big deal.

[tapping]

How are the studies, okay?

Hey, everything is fine.

What are you going for, Doc?

Look, Mark.

There are only two important
things in this program...

The research and the people.

When one of them begins to
break down, the other suffers.

And I can't afford that, ever.

So if you feel like you
can't handle it anymore,

maybe you should consider
just dropping out of the program.

I just want you to
think about it, that's all.

Sure.

Whatever you say.

Hi.

- Hi.
- I'm Alice.

You know, the high-jumper?

Oh, yeah.

You're one of those private
investigators Carol hired.

We're supposed to be undercover.

No, everybody knows.

That doesn't make
me feel better.

Can I talk to you?

Sure.

Come on in. I'll be right down.

You're like an
attorney, aren't you?

If I tell you something
in confidence,

you'll keep it quiet?

If you want me to.

I think Allen was murdered,

and I think they tried
to murder you, too.

They?

The guys at the Kappa
house, at least some of them.

It's really hard to believe

that guys like
Mark and Sylvester,

guys that I've known for
so long, are murderers.

Did you see what happened
that night at the Kappa house?

No.

I was in the kitchen with Carol.

Look, I don't know if
this is important or not,

but Allen used to
spend a lot of time

in the stacks at the library.

We used to share a desk there.

It's where he kept a
lot of his personal stuff.

I mean really personal stuff.

I've got a key.

I'll go get dressed.

This is it.

Look, I can't handle this.

I'll meet you later, okay?

Okay.

[Allen] "Dear Professor Altman,

"I'm deeply worried
about the behavior

"of some of the athletes on
your experimental program.

"I'm trying to talk
them into quitting

"or telling you what's
been happening to them,

"but they won't.

"I've tried threatening them,

telling them that I'll
turn them in to the dean."

[Rick] Two points!

Hey, A.J.!

Where you been? I've
been looking for you!

Rick?

Hey, good buddy!

What the hell are
you doing up there?

I already told you, man.
I've been waiting for you.

Doesn't anybody
listen anymore? Jeez.

Well, come on down!

Hey, you're not
going to believe this!

Okay.

Be right there.

[can clanging]

Hey, no! Hey, wait, wait!

Wait! Yeah, uh, wait!

You... You wait
there. I-I'll come up!

Okay, you know, it'd
be a lot quicker if I just...

No!

No! You, stay!

Well, make up your mind.
I don't have all day, here.

I'm coming! I'm coming!

Rick?

You sure are slow, A.J.

Guess that's why
Mom had you second.

[giggling]

Rick, this isn't funny.

Have you been drinking?

No, man. I feel
too good to drink.

I feel too good for anything.

You know, we're on the threshold

of a great celestial experience.

Can't you see that?

What?

No... No, never mind.

Look, let's... Let's
go down now, okay?

Oh. Okay, here you go.

No! No! No!

- Not that way, Rick.
- Huh?

No, the... the first
step can kill you.

No.

Oh. I see... No, see,
because I can fly.

Oh. Yeah, I see. Yeah, um, no.

- I-I know you can fly, Rick.
- Mm-hmm.

But first, look out over there

because there's
something that you need.

What?

Oh, no.

[pigeons fluttering]

[growling]

[Jerry] Okay, let's
give this a try, here.

It's not really my line
of work, but, well...

How we feeling today?

Okay.

Good bedside manner.

Yeah.

Fix you right up, here.

[moans]

How does that feel?

How does what feel?

I'm not really used to
talking to my patients.

Okay. Little pin.

How's that feel?

How's what feel?

That's amazing.

Tell me about it. I
had to hit him twice.

Oh, I hated doing it.

Mm-hmm. If you'd liked it,

you'd have run me
over with a truck.

Now he's starting to
sound like his old self.

What were the drugs
you got out of him?

I don't know, but they're
enough to kill the pain.

I did find a special kind
of steroid in him, though,

a glucocorticoid.

But that would only explain
the temporary psychosis.

Psychosis? What, are
you guys crazy? I'm fine.

Come on, let me up
out of here. Oh, no, no.

- In a little while.
- [growling]

We flushed a lot of
steroids out of him.

When he comes down, he's
going to sleep for a week.

Steroids? Altman told
me that was a protein drink.

Sure, there's protein
in it, about a thimble-full.

[growling]

- We got to go.
- Sushi?

Sushi, yeah, that sounds good.

Well, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do.

I'm going to go over there

and give Altman a
little test of my own,

a little five-finger exercise,
him and good old Jolly Roger.

Filling me full of
joy juice, lousy...

Nice to have him back.

[Jerry] I don't get it.

You know, if Allen Davis

wanted to blow the whistle
on Altman's program,

why did he write
him himself, huh?

[A.J.] I don't know.

He's right.

It's like giving
kryptonite to Luthor.

Well, I guess that means

Allen didn't think
Altman had anything to do

with the research going haywire.

Come on. You got to be kidding.

The guy is out there
electrocuting college kids.

He's filling them full
of more chemicals

than Saturday morning
breakfast cereal.

Well, we're changing our tune.

Six hours ago, the good
doctor was the hottest thing

since sliced bread and sunshine.

Exactly my point. If he can
con me, he can con anybody.

Aww.

Oh, sorry, guys.

Okay, what do we got here?

Suicide.

Took a nosedive off the library,

over at the university.

Boy, I tell you. They're
doing it more and more.

Who can figure it?

A girl, this time. Pretty, too.

[Jerry] Let's take a look, huh?

[gasps]

You know her?

Yeah.

She's Alice Andrews.

You know, of course, this
is breaking and entering.

No.

- Not to mention littering.
- I don't care.

I don't care if we have
to trash the whole place.

I'm sick and tired of seeing
bright, young people turn up dead.

They're all here.

Sylvester, Elwood,
Allen, Mark Wilson.

Boy, I tell you.

He used the whole track
team as his experimental lab,

at least, all the ones
that set the records.

Well, you ought to
read these clippings.

Last year, the track team was
dead last in the conference.

This year they're winning it.

Boy, I think you'd
better read this.

What do you got?

These are Altman's
notes on Mark Wilson.

It's labeled "Side effects."

Oh, listen to this.

"It is possible that I
have exceeded the limits

"of psychological testing,

and crossed the line into
human experimentation."

[whistling]

Brother.

I've got an even better one.

Yeah?

"Though the subject's
body is aging rapidly,

"and is substantially

"below the par of
the younger athletes,

"he seems to possess
an iron willpower,

"and has a basic
sense of morality

"that can only be
altered chemically.

"However, once it is,

he could become
a potent force..."

ahh... "to send into combat."

Which one of the
village idiots is that?

You.

Oh.

"The subject, Rick, opens
up whole new possibilities

for the drafting of older men."

Drafting?

Drafting.

[laughing]

"Must discuss
soonest with D.O.D..."

What's the D.O.D.?

Oh, man.

[Altman] "I've tried to
talk them into quitting

"or telling you what's
been happening to them,

"but they won't.

"I've tried threatening them,

telling them that
I'll turn them in."

I think maybe you'd
better explain to us

what's been going on
in the experiments, Doc.

This whole program
is classified top-secret

by the Department of Defense.

You aren't cleared.

You want to see clearance?

I'll show you clearance.

[all talking at once]

Come on, let's go. Take it easy.

Hey, come on. Come on.

That's not going to
accomplish anything.

Now you listen to me.

You heard about Alice Andrews,

and the police are probably
going to call that suicide,

just like they said that Allen
Davis was an accidental death.

He just happened
to fall off of a building.

These are not
random occurrences.

Your program

[A.J. on intercom] is
turning these kids into killers.

[Altman] It's not possible.

I was very careful to
watch for side effects.

[Rick] Oh, the way
you watched out for me?

Yesterday, I tried to fly

off of the top of
the art building,

and I thought I could do it!

[A.J.] Now, look.

[sighing]

We've read your notes.

You know you went too far.

You crossed over the line.

You're using kids,

just barely out of their teens,

as human guinea pigs.

[sighing]

The experiment
was designed to...

increase the body's
production of endorphins.

The natural pain killers
the body produces

when you exercise strenuously,

why you feel so high,
so good after a long run.

I thought I could increase

the body's production of these
natural opiates by using the...

[whispers] Still think
we have a choice?

These guys get out of here,
we're charged for murder.

[Rick] Now where's the
little cocktail come in?

[Altman] It's a
trigger compound.

It amplifies and prolongs

the effects of the endorphins.

If the body can be conditioned

to produce these
natural pain killers at will,

on a regular, sustained basis,

think of what it would mean

to people suffering
from cancer, arthritis...

Yeah, and those
guys in the infantry

can just keep right on
killing until they're dropped.

Someone has to pay the bills.

Someone has to pay the piper.

[grunting]

[Altman] When you
work so hard, so long

for one thing,
one absolute truth,

you... lose perspective.

What the hell was that?

[electricity
crackling] [explosion]

Something just blew up.

Be careful when you open
the door. That stuff's toxic.

Why don't you take
the door off the hinges?

No, it's blocked.

- Is there another
way out of here?
- No.

Oh, yes, there is.

I'm going through the window.

[Altman] Cover your face.
I'll get the extinguisher.

[explosion]

[A.J.] Hey, this
didn't start on its own.

[Rick] Yeah, well, I
know who did it. Let's go.

[crowd yelling at once]

[groaning]

[grunts]

Aah!

Aah!

[both grunting]

[grunting]

[straining]

[police radio chatter]

You know, A.J.,
considering everything,

looking at this philosophically,

it's really been a very
enlightening experience for me.

Almost cosmic.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA