Silicon Valley (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - Success Failure - full transcript

No, I'll get my car tomorrow.
I had too many.

Got an Uber coming. Thank you.

That was fast.

Hello. For Jim?

Yep.

Oh, would you... would
you care for a water?

Why are your fingers orange?

It's... It's iodine.

I've been... biting my nails,

so I put this on there to
stop me from doing it.

Looks like Cheetos, tastes like asshole.



So, what do you do?

Venture capital over at Wood Opal.

Wow.

Wow. Good.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, can I take this?

- Sure.
- All right.

Hello, hi!

My goodness, this video chat app

is light-years ahead of anything
else out there on the market.

I agree.

Yes, and you can add
multiple concurrent users

with no loss in picture quality,
even on conventional 3G.

Let's see what happens
when we add more friends.



Hi, friend. What's up?

Hello, friend.

Hey, should we
add another friend?

Yeah, we should.

How many friends can we
conference at the same time?

Well, thanks to the
amazing new TURN server,

as many as you like.

What if someone is in an area
with poor cellular reception?

I doubt it would even work.

And if it did, the lag, the video quality...

that would be horrible.

Well, let's find out.

Could you keep your eyes
on the road, please?

Yeah, got it. I'm on it.

Hey, friends.

Wow! Look at that. The
image is so clear.

We all look amazing, don't we?

- Yeah, we really do.
- Yes.

Is that really just on a cell signal?

Uh, yes.

This is the amazing new
company PiperChat.

Wait a minute.

I saw you at TechCrunch.
You're Richard Hendricks.

- The very same. Yeah.
- You're the fucking guy

that tried to walk into Coleman Blair

with fraudulent numbers.

- No!
- Uh-oh.

- That was my fault.
- Yes, but no.

I mean, that... that's the old thing.
This is the new thing,

and I can assure you,
it's very, very real.

You're not even my driver. This
says Sandeep in an Escalade.

- Ah, shit.
- Look, look.

No one will even talk
to us, which is crazy.

We just surpassed 120,000
daily active users

and we're growing at a rate of 18
percent, organically, week over week.

Richard, that's Facebook-level growth.

- Pull over now.
- That is great!

Richard, Richard,
do not pull over.

You will never see him
again if he gets out.

I am not involved!

Richard, can you hear me?

Okay, for real, Richard.
You have to pull over.

- Richard, do not... do not pull over.
- You'll never see him again.

- Hey, are you on the shitter?
- Pull the fuck over.

- Richard!
- Okay.

What the fuck? Are you seriously
trying to kidnap me right now?

No. It's the locks. I... I don't know.
It's not my car.

Child locks are on.

I was babysitting my friend
Gloria's great-granddaughter.

It's on the left.

- Got it. Look, look, look.
- God damn it!

Come on. Listen to me.

We are desperate. We need funding.

- You need funding?
- Yes.

Hit a million daily active users

while sustaining the
same kind of growth,

then everybody in town will
be trying to kidnap you.

Problem solved.

Yeah, easy for you to say.

Can you imagine how much
these servers are costing me

just to keep this ship afloat?

Right, and every new user
increases our server cost.

Really? I'm sorry.

Is it hard to become a billionaire?

Welcome to the Valley, assholes.

Fuck.

- What a dick.
- Well, assuming we don't get arrested,

looks like we have to work our asses off

to reduce our hosting bill.

- Hi.
- Hi.

If you actually get
to a million users...

call me. My cell's on the back.

Oh, okay.

Did you finish?

Yeah, I just pushed my code.

Took me two fucking days,

but I broke up our entire code
base into parallel services.

You know, this whole job
would've been a lot easier

if you hadn't designed sloppy
services in the first place.

Oh, silly me.

I guess when I hacked together

the video chat as an in-house tool,

I didn't foresee that hundreds
of thousands of people

would shit themselves over
how fucking awesome it was.

I'll never underestimate
my talents again.

Don't worry. I'll continue
to do it for you.

Less talk, more work, boys.

I'm not paying you to coffee klatsch

like a bunch of fucking yentas.

You're not paying us at all.

I'm not paying you because
you're not the one

getting fucked face-first
by your credit card company

because of massive AWS hosting fees.

Well, you should bear 100
percent of the company's cost,

seeing as you do own 100
percent of the company.

What's taking you so long to
give us our fucking shares?

Recapping a company is complex.

But I assure you, Big Head
and I are on the case.

You better be. We're not
gonna work for free forever.

Hey, the Karachi Kid and I finished.

Did you push your code?

Uh...

actually, no.

Well, Your Highness, could
you please push your code?

Well, I couldn't push that code,

because I didn't write that code.

What? We stayed up for two fucking days.

Why didn't you write your code?

Well, because I was working
on something much better.

So, I started to optimize our
code to handle higher tr...

You're supposed to follow me.

Oh.

I, uh, I started to optimize our code

to handle higher traffic.

Then it occurred to me,
why rewrite our old code

when I can build a new encoder

that doesn't strip away a ton
of channels and metadata.

So, I extended my compression algorithm

to support... get this... 12-bit color.

Okay, so our users will
be able to experience

a 10 percent increase in image quality

with absolutely no increase
in server load whatsoever.

Just-Just-Just... Just watch this.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Richard, I'm trying very hard

not to completely lose
my shit right now.

I get it. I get it.

After every VC in town turned us down,

we decided that the
best way to stay alive

until we got to a million users
was to cut server usage.

Remember that?

The whole reason that Gilfoyle and I

stayed up for 48 fucking straight hours

was to decrease server load,

not keep it the same.

Technically, the reason why
we stayed up for two days

was to maximize our ability
to get a million users,

and I just did that.

Because who doesn't want 10
percent better image quality?

Who doesn't want it? Everyone.

Everyone doesn't want it!

We already have
the best video chat.

People are using this
on their cellphones.

They're not gonna be able to
tell the fucking difference.

Guys, this is a better product,

and I'm the CEO, and I'm gonna
say this is where we go.

- You fucking prick.
- Whoa.

Guys... please be civil.

- You hate the video chat.
- I don't hate the video chat, Dinesh.

You've always hated the video
chat, because it's my thing,

and you wanna rewrite it
to make it all about you.

You're fucking jealous.

Jealous? Jealous?

You built the video chat,
I'll give you that. Okay.

You did, but you did
it using my algorithm.

Right, like when Picasso
painted a masterpiece,

the guy who made the
brushes and the paint

deserved all the credit, right?

So you're Picasso now?

I think I need to... leave,

but I love you guys.

Dinesh, I'm sorry,

but I think we should be
doing a little bit more

with this revolutionary
compression algorithm

than passable video chat.

But we already did more, Richard.

It was called "the platform."

And it was exactly what
you wanted to make,

and it fucking failed, okay?

I'm sorry, but it's bad enough

that we can't get any
funding because of you.

You're killing us out there.

Don't also sabotage us in here, too.

Pied Piper is a video chat company.

Get your head around that.

I'm quite certain I've
never said this before.

I agree with Dinesh.

Well.

Oh. Well, that was just
a whole heap of fun.

Ordinarily, I loathe coming to China,
but when you close a deal like that,

it makes the whole trip a delight.

Champagne, gentlemen?

I think that's very much in order.

I know you don't toot your own horn,

so I'll do it for you.

Here to you, Jack,

and to your Hooli/Endframe box

becoming the most successful
American data storage appliance

to ever be manufactured in China.

Toot, toot.

Watch your back, Jeff
Bezos, here comes Hooli.

All right, gentlemen... our flight today

from Shanghai to Moffett
Field in Mountain View

will be just over 11
hours, so if you'll just...

Oh, actually, I was headed up to
Jackson Hole, see the wife and kids.

I... I was gonna charter up tomorrow,

but maybe you could ask the boys

just to drop me off on the way?

Save me the trouble?

Of course.

Well, and I mean, it's
really not a big deal,

but since we are headed east,
I think Jackson is further.

Maybe we'll head to Moffett first,

then have the guys hop
you onto Jackson, okay?

Well... Well, actually,
on flights like this,

the boys like to go over the Pole,

so that, technically, is a
little more north to south,

and Jackson is quite
a bit further north.

So I think, maybe, just
go to Jackson first,

then head on off to Moffett.
That sound good?

- Of course.
- Great.

I'm gonna get a pillow.

You know what we desperately
need is a palapa.

A ploppa?

A palapa.

It's a Mexican structure
with palm fronds.

It's essentially a gazebo,

but spicier and with a south-
of-the-border kind of vibe.

I think it would make
us feel less exposed.

And generally, I think it
would be good for morale.

Speaking of which, morale has
not exactly been skyrocketing.

So, we need to get this cap
table done tout de suite.

Richard and the fellows

are entitled to 40
percent of the company.

Now, if we each give 20 percent,

we would still own 30 percent each.

That seems fair.

Seems totally fair to me.

Dad?

Nope. Not gonna happen.

Mr. Bighetti, with all due respect, I...

If you had any respect,

you wouldn't have talked my
son into wasting his money...

again.

My son's not giving up one share.

Not now, not ever.

Mr. Bighetti, if you're going to
control your son's board seat,

these decisions have to be unanimous.

You're going to kill this comp...

I don't care.

In my eyes, the company
is already dead.

Killed by you.

That's my edge.

If all I accomplish by doing this

is making you as miserable
as you've made me

watching you fleece my son,

then I'm okay with that.

He seems okay with that.

So you expect me to give the 40 percent

to the gents from my 50 percent,

effectively leaving me with 10 percent?

Yes.

No. No, no, no.

Then I would've invested 500
thou... a half of a million dollars

just to end up where I started?

Unacceptable.

I can accept that.

I'm going to bed.

Good night, Brown Bear.

Love you, Papa Bear.

Goddamn motherfucker.

I mean, the guys are right.
I'm fucking up the company.

I'm not helping in any way.

You're certainly not helping
your cuticles by biting on them.

Your nail beds are gonna get infected.

Where'd you learn how
to do this, anyway?

When I was on the street,
it was a means of survival.

I don't know, it's just that...

I mean, I almost killed us,

the company, and that is so selfish.

I mean, if we have to
get a million users,

I need to get us funding, right now.

How? We've already been turned down

by every respectable VC in town.

Who said anything about... respectable?

Oh, Richard, no.

Fuck yes, I want to talk business.
What's the play?

Let's fuck this thing
right in the pussy.

Thanks for meeting me here.

My fucking nanny got another DUI

and lost her license, and
I'm stuck picking up

my own kid like an asshole.
So what's up?

Uhh...

Well, I know you wanted to buy
Erlich's Pied Piper shares

back in the previous
iteration, the platform.

Well, I was hoping you would want
to come on as a follow-on investor

- for the current platform.
- The video chat?

Yeah. It's got a great tech.
We're growing like crazy.

In fact, that's why we need
funding, to keep up with the users,

and I think it could be really good
if we could just keep it going.

No, you don't.

What?

You don't like it.

You don't believe in this
product you're selling.

Russ, no, that's...
It's a good, sound business.

As I said, the tech is great

and all the guys are really behind it.

But you're not behind it, Richard.

I can tell, and as much as
you want to be, you're not.

It's like this.

You're trying to date a woman,

- but deep down in your heart you know you're gay.
- Uhh...

Deep in your soul, you know you
would rather be plowing a dude!

I don't... I do... Okay, what dude?

It could be any dude, as long
as you really want to fuck him.

It could be a... a twink, a bear,

an otter, a circuit queen,
a chub, a pup, a gipster,

a daddy chaser, a leather man,
a ladyboy, a Donald Duck.

Donald Duck's a gay guy who's been kicked out of the Navy.

H-How do you know so many gay things?

My grandfather just came out of the
closet. Beautiful. Very inspiring.

But the point is, if you're
gonna spend all day fucking,

shouldn't Pied Piper be
a dude you wanna fuck?

All right. Let's do an exercise.

You've got unlimited time and resources,

you can build anything in the world
you want with your compression,

anything at all, what's it gonna be?

Three, two, one, go. Go, go, go.

- You said I have unlimited time?
- Now. Now, now!

A new Internet.

What? Why?

Okay. Well, I haven't really
thought this through, so...

Okay.

- I own a telescope...
- Of course you do.

and I brought it out one
night to look at the full moon.

- Of course you did.
- And I got to thinking...

"Wow, we put a man on the moon

using the computing power
of a handheld calculator."

And then I thought, "Okay...

"there's literally millions of times

"more computing power in my phone

and that's just sitting in my
pocket doing nothing." Right?

So then I thought, there's,
what, billions of phones

all around the world with
the same computing power

just sitting in people's pockets.

So then I thought, "What
if we use all those phones

to build a massive network?"

And here's the kicker... We
use my compression algorithm

to make everything small and efficient
to move things around, and...

if we could do it...

we could build a completely
decentralized version

of our current Internet,
with no firewalls,

no tolls, no government regulation,

no spying. Information...

would be totally free in
every sense of the word.

You wanna build a new Internet?

- Yeah, it's...
- Richard, I like it.

That I would fund.

Well, I-I... I don't know
if it's possible, and...

Look, if this new Internet
is the man of your dreams

and this is the man that you wanna fuck,

then you need to fuck him.

That man I will pay you to fuck.

Where the fuck is that kid?

Wait a minute.

Aw, shit.

They kicked us out of this place.

I'm at the wrong fucking school.

Richard, you find that
man, fuck him good.

Careful please. He's gonna peel out.

Monica, I need to...

Oh. You're not...

Monica? No. Thank God. I'm Ed Chen.

Laurie put me in the good office
and moved Monica down the hall.

Way down the hall.

Okay. Sorry.

You're gonna listen to Russ Hanneman?

Richard, you sound like a crazy person.

I know, but... but Russ is right.

I mean, I hate the video chat.
I really do.

- Oh...
- What?

Oh, wow, you can see right into the...

Yeah, I'm very aware.

Laurie is punishing me
for taking your side

and going against her, so
she moved me down here

and gave my office to that little

brownnosing shit, Ed Chen.

Anyway, Richard, you're not
gonna seriously go home

and tell the guys in your company

that even though your user
rates are skyrocketing

that you wanna pivot.

For the past 48 hours,

I've been trying to rewrite
the core video chat code,

and I literally can't.

Instead of typing, I just
bite my fingernails.

I think, subconsciously,

I would rather bite my own fingers
off than work on this platform.

Richard, I know people who have spent

their entire careers
chasing after an app

with this kind of growth
rate and never hit it.

It's a really good product.

That may be, but it's not for me.

And look, I know these
guys are my friends,

but they're also my employees,
and it's my company.

So... if I say we have
to pivot, we pivot.

Okay. I-I... I have to go.

All right. Well, if you're sure, then
tell them and then call me and tell...

What? No, I... I have to go.

There's another men's
room on the fourth floor.

Right. 'Cause then you would've
seen mine twice.

I mean, we're all thinking it, right?

Richard is fucking with a
product that is working.

He should not be the
CEO of this company.

I understand your concerns,

but is this the time
that we fire Richard?

Is this the moment
that I become the CEO?

You? Why you?

It's a simple process of elimination.

Gilfoyle, as an anarchist

would never accept a
position of authority

- in any official organization.
- None.

And you, of course, are
out of the picture,

because Gilfoyle would never allow it.

Yeah, that's true.

And Jared, he'd sooner
commit hara-kiri than...

replace little baby Richard.

So that leaves me.

And honestly, gents, who
would you rather have

defending your four percent
stake in the company...

- Five.
- What?

- Five percent.
- You said four. Was it...

You said three, and then you had...

- No, it's five.
- Five.

You know what? I'm gonna back channel,

look at some notes, and we'll get to it.

In the meantime, if and when...

we are to depose Richard,
I am his obvious heir.

Erlich, no offense,

but the board is you,
Richard, and my dad, right?

So, I think that means you and my dad

would have to agree on
who replaces Richard,

and pretty sure my dad would,
like, never approve you.

- It's just not gonna happen.
- Thank you.

- Yeah.
- There is someone else.

Someone who has zero
strikes against him.

Someone who has held
high-level positions

at one of the biggest tech
companies in the Valley.

Someone who's been on the cover

of one of the most prestigious
tech publications in the world.

He sounds awesome.

Could we get him?

And as of now, we've got the votes...

of enough key Malaysian ministers

to proceed with construction,

but that support is time-critical.

Carol's right. We'd have to break
ground before monsoon season

or else the entire
project could collapse.

So, what do you think?

Sorry. About what?

About the factory.

Ah. The factory.

The factory.

Excuse me for a moment.

- So, what have you got?
- Well, sir, I did as you asked.

I flew the company plane to Shanghai,

then Moffett, then Jackson Hole.

Then I flew back to Shanghai,
then to Jackson Hole,

then to Moffett, which
is where I just landed.

- And?
- Moffett is 28.3 minutes closer.

I fucking knew it!

Barker should've dropped
you off first, sir.

Wait. What about headwinds
or storm activity?

I don't want to give him any
room to wriggle out of this.

Here's what I'm gonna need you to do.

Fly each leg five more
times and average them.

It's the only way to be sure.

And we're not concerned with the expense

of 20 more private
transcontinental flights?

Of course we are.

Jack Barker is costing the shareholders

of this company a fortune,
and he must be stopped.

I'll go back to Moffett right now.

Good. Call me each time
you're in Shanghai.

- I'll see you in a week.
- Yes, sir.

Guys?

Shit, he came in the back.

Richard, we need to talk.

Well, actually, let me just
say something first here.

I don't think Pied Piper should
be a video chat company.

The balls on you.

Richard, we've all decided

you are out. Big Head is in.

Not my call.

Richard, we just can't
keep fucking pivoting.

- We won't do it again.
- Just wait for a second, okay?

Just... You're not getting it. Please.

Uh, I'm quitting.

Wait. What?

Richard, I was waiting out front!

They want to ambush you and
replace you with Big Head,

but I had nothing to do with it.

Again, not my call.

I was ready to fight you guys,

but then, on the way
home, it occurred to me

there might be a better way.

I'm going to start my own company.

I will give up all of my
equity in the video chat

if I get to completely own my algorithm.

I will grant you guys
a perpetual license

to use the algorithm in your video chat,

but I need the algorithm
to build something else.

And look, forget a million users,

with me out of the company,

you guys would be able to
raise money, no problem.

And that way, everybody wins.

So we can use the algorithm,
free and clear, for video chat?

Yes.

I mean, we... we shouldn't
even be talking about this.

And you would leave
behind your 25 percent,

thus giving me enough equity
to compensate the boys fairly

and Big Head's father would
retain his 50 percent?

I think that's right. Yes.

And I would own 10 percent
of your new company.

Wait. What? Why?

The algorithm was developed
here in the Incubator.

Richard, shame on you.

Well, dealbreaker. Let's...
Should we get some food?

No, no. That's okay. It's fine.

And I'm here for advice,

or advice for the new
CEO, whoever that may be.

To wit, uh...

I know it's probably not my
place to give this suggestion,

but I think it should be Dinesh.

- What?
- What?

- What?
- What?

- Yeah. Sorry, Big Head.
- What?

Yeah. Dinesh, you were the
one that hacked together

the video chat in the first place.

You know the product inside and out.

You are the horse that I would bet on.

You really think so?

I do.

I'm down. Gilfoyle?

Gilfoyle, can I please
be CEO of Pied Piper?

Spoken like a true leader.

But since your failure as a
leader is a virtual certainty,

tolerating your short reign as CEO

in exchange for a front-row seat
to the disaster seems fair.

Plus, if I'm wrong, which I'm not...

I get rich. So I'm down with it, Dinesh.

Jared, what do you think about this?

I think this is crazy.

I left my job at Hooli to... to
come work with you, Richard.

And... and now you're leaving?

Look, these guys,
they're gonna need you,

so if you want to support
me, you support them.

Think you can do that?

I've always been very adept

at taking the shape of whatever
shoe was pressed down upon me,

so I can try to make it work.

Then it's settled.

Dinesh is the new CEO of Pied Piper.

Oh. Actually, just one last thing.

I think you guys should
call yourselves PiperChat.

I'm gonna have to insist that I keep the
name Pied Piper, and I won't budge on that.

- Yeah, it's totally fine.
- Okay, yeah. Who gives a shit?

- That's fine.
- Terrible fucking name.

Let's get to work.

Congratulations.

So, wait. I don't have to be CEO, right?

Dinesh is going to do that?

All right. Let's figure
out how this gets split up.

Let's see.

And, um... yeah.

Jared...

go.

Go on, man.

Get out of here.

Dinesh, you'll get five percent.

Gilfoyle, five percent.

- Jared, five percent.
- Yeah. Okay,

so we all get five, not four.

Now you said... you said four?

No, five. I said five.

Jared, can we get five more engineers?

That's... That would
come out of Jared's percentage.

No.

You wanted to see me, Skipper?

I did indeed.

Jack, I appreciate
everything you've done

in your position as head
of the Hooli/Endframe box,

but I think the company's
needs are better suited

if I move you elsewhere.

Really?

Well, I appreciate the
vote of confidence, GB.

I'm flattered.

Frankly, little bit surprised.

Why would you be surprised?
Can you think of any reason

why you don't deserve a promotion?

I mean, anything at all? Well...

I don't want to hurt my arm
patting myself on the back,

but... right off the top of my head...

No, I guess not.

I mean, you've always been
straight with me, right?

Straight to the point.

I sure have.

And you've always gone out
of your way for me, yes?

Always put me first?
Gone the extra mile?

Gosh... I sure tried.

Did you?

All right, Jack.

Professor. Gary in HR will set you up.

Enjoy your new offices.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, hey. Would you
like to see your desk?

Okay.

Here it is.

This is your desk.