Shameless (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 11 - Order Room Service - full transcript

This is what you list last light on the...

- I'm going back to medical school.
- Dr. Jimmy, huh?

We're celebrating
Fiona's impending marriage to a doctor.

Oh, wow, really?

- You can come with me.
- To Michigan?

- Good luck convincing her to move.
- Fiona?

Estefania, your wife.

A man has few things of real value
in this life. His family, the value of his word.

Are you a man of your word?

You don't live here anymore.

You still someone I can trust?

Mickey getting married,
does that make sense to you?

She works at Garden Springs Spa...

...if you call jerking off random dudes,
working.

Terry made Mickey fuck her
to fuck the gay out of him.

I know what he felt with me.
You can't fake that.

- What'd you hit?
- Girl at school.

I wasn't very nice to Karen.

She was so happy
when she got that text from you.

Text?

The night of the accident
when she came to meet you.

You're taking Mandy for granted.
She's kind, she's devoted.

She's not someone whose feelings
you can ignore.

- Should we be planning for the worst?
- I've seen miracles. They do happen.

Keep engaging with her.
Let her know you're here.

You're a prince, Jody.
I think that you're her prince.

I took her prince
and she believed in the kiss of true love.

Mm.

Oh, Jesus.

You look like a baby rabbit
when you sleep.

Exactly what every man wants to hear
first thing in the morning.

- You awake long?
- Little while.

This whole Ann Arbor thing...

...we can make it work.

Been doing some research.

Worldwide Cup has an office in Canton,
only 18 miles from campus.

Right? I'm gonna see if they need help.
The public schools there are a lot better.

I called a couple,
they actually answered the phone.

Said Debbie and Carl could transfer
mid-year. So nice about it.

I don't want the kids resenting me
for making them leave their friends.

What friends? Lip's graduating.

Not sure what to do about Ian yet,
but I'll ask him when he's feeling better.

- And the house?
- Sublet it, maybe. I don't know yet.

Wow, I mean, you've really turned a corner.
Heh-heh-heh.

Yeah.

Morning.

You never came to bed last night.

Yeah, no, sorry, I got sucked into
Zambian women's boxing.

Muscular women make me feel funny.

Sounds hot. Can you hurry up
and get ready? I wanna get to school early.

Gonna swipe some Tater Tots
from the cafeteria for Mickey's wedding.

Okay, I'll be right up.

- Late start. Sorry, you're on your own.
- Thanks, Debs.

We're out of peanut butter.
Is Ian staying home again?

Says his stomach is still messed up.
Any more Pop-Tarts left?

- Carl finished them. He ate three.
- I'm a growing boy.

Little bro-ski took a big-boy dump
on the big-boy toilet.

Gonna celebrate by walking to the store
for some wipes.

And peanut butter. And Pop-Tarts.
And tampons, sorry.

- Make sure he wears a hat, it's getting cold.
- Tampons.

- Bye, family.
- Bye, Fiona.

Butch it up, dude.

Dude.

- You gotta get up at some point.
- I'm losing my mind.

I can't stop thinking about the wedding.

Last time I'm gonna say it.
Do yourself a favor.

Stay as far away from that car wreck as
humanly possible, okay? It's not worth it.

Can you help me set up this afternoon
at the VFW?

No, you know what?
I promised I'd go to Sheila's.

Karen's getting home. Gotta help set up.

- I'll help.
- You sure?

- Yeah.
- Hey, wait, dude. Aren't you sick?

I don't get why Jody and Sheila
can't set up Karen's shit by themselves.

Look, she needs a lot of stuff, okay?

She can't even walk by herself yet.
She's got frontal-lobe damage.

You know, the dude who hit her probably
doesn't even have a scratch on him.

Go away, this is my turf.

Your turf? What is this, West Side Story?

You can't own a whole train car.
It's public property.

Been sleeping in this car six years.
Pissed, puked, jizzed in it.

By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.

Well, I'm not moving.

- Stop it.
- You're a terrible homeless person.

I'm not homeless. I have a home.

- Why didn't you go there last night?
- I was on my way there...

...when I sat down here
and accidentally fell asleep.

Bullshit. You look like a bum.
You smell like a bum.

- I'm a passenger.
- Now, get off my lawn.

All right.

I'm going. To my house where I live...

...like a respectable human being.

I have labeled the quarterly reports
from the last four years...

...with color-coded tabs,
stapled and collated.

And I've included double-sided copies
for the archive.

Dang, maestro.

I was wondering if you knew
of any positions...

...opening in your Michigan office.

Uh, I could ask.

You leaving us?

My boyfriend might be going to med school
at U of M. We're not sure yet.

Wow.

That's terrific.

We'll be sad to see you go.

Me too.

Sorry, I don't know if you're busy
this weekend, but my family has a cabin...

...it's, like, half an hour drive
north of here.

We go every year during the fall,
we camp and toast marshmallows...

...and kind of drink our faces off.

Shit. So-- I'm doing this really, really badly.

I'm inviting both of you. And the kids
you brought to the softball game.

They'd have a great time.
How many are there total?

- Two teens, two preteens, and a toddler.
- Perfect.

We've got extra tents,
sub-zero sleeping bags.

The little ones share a tent,
tell ghost stories...

...while the adults
just get blitzed by the fire.

And tons of people from work
usually come. It's great.

Sounds good. My brothers might have
a wedding but I'll check with the rest.

- Yeah, cool. Let me know.
- Okay.

Hey, what's that, Liam? Is that the world's
most annoying sheep? What's he say?

Whoa.

- Are they there now?
- Who?

- The INS.
- No.

Then why are you calling me?

I have this stupid shoe I bought
and it break.

And I try to call to complain,
but they don't understand me.

You call, yeah?

No. Estefania,
this number is for emergencies.

I'm bored, Steve.

All I do, I sit here with textbooks.
Go shopping.

I get bad sex with horny boys
with tiny pintinhos.

Okay. Okay, I will go to the store later.

- Come over.
- Okay, okay, gotta go.

Here, here, here.

What's that? What's that, Liam?
Is that a piggie?

A filthy, snorting, bacon-machine?

Wow.

- Can you do cows and chickens too?
- Not as good as your mom.

- I have your mail. Cable, utility, rent.
- Okay.

Your checkbook. Sign.
I have personal things for you as well.

TV Guide, Architectural Digest--
Anthropologie? Is this for girls?

I also have this.

University of Michigan
enrollment notification.

- Classes begin in January.
- You opened my mail? That's a felony.

You were able to convince Estefania
to move?

- It's a work in progress. Don't say anything.
- Fiona is aware of your plans, I assume.

You're getting careless.

Don't.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Bad time?

No, just putting together some baby stuff
way prematurely.

What's up?

I need your advice.

Well, if it's about infants, college,
or tiny dicks, I'm the wrong guy.

No, it's about crazy.
You were married to it once.

Why, is Mandy going
a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?

Yeah, I think she ran over Karen
with her car.

- What?
- I think she ran over Karen with her car.

And also, she carries this,
like, huge stockpile of arms with her.

Wait, wait, wait.

Your current girlfriend
ran over your ex-girlfriend with a car?

Signs point to yes. I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what she's capable of.

Dude, you're at DEFCON 1.
You need to get out of there.

- Tell me how.
- Very slowly.

You need to make her think it's her idea.
Keep your distance.

Because once they get behind the wheel,
there's no going back.

Okay, I mean, I'm gone a lot, you know.
They need a lot of help over at Karen's so--

Whoa, Lip, wait, wait.
Does Mandy know you're going over there?

- Yeah, I mean, I told her.
- Lip, you can't tell her that shit.

That's like waving the flag
in front of the bull.

Hide the car keys, stop showering,
and you tell her nothing.

And whatever you do, do not--
Lip, do not let her bone you.

Because that oxytocin stuff
makes them adhesive.

- You got it?
- Yeah.

I'm not supposed to talk to you.
Fiona and Lip will be mad.

Of course they will.

They treat me like a leper
because I'm a "bad father." Yeah, right.

You haven't seen bad parenting till
you witness my mother in her glory days.

Had this piece of wood she called
a retribution stick. Flat side, skinny side.

If I did something small
like steal an extra cookie...

...or piss in her shampoo bottle,
whack, flat side.

If I did something heinous like set fire
to her bed when she was napping...

...or rat her out for her garage gambling ring,
the skinny side, like a whip.

Whack, whack, whack.

But did I throw that bitch into the gutter
when she needed a home? No.

I brushed her hair.

I washed her saggy tits.

I irrigated her ulcers.

I nursed her all the way to the grave.

But you people, making me homeless
in the dead of autumn...

...after I got you through cancer.

I slept on a train last night.

Cool. Can I try that?

No, it's barbaric.

I have no place to go. Do you get it?

I could sneak you in the van tonight.

You'd do that for me?

You little piker, you.

- Make sure there's--
- Both? Okay.

You made it.

Chairs are over here
and watch out for splinters.

You know, Lip is still up Karen's ass.

- It's getting old.
- Yeah.

So Svetlana, is she like, uh...?

She's quiet. And skinny. Which is weird
because he usually bags fat chicks.

I do his laundry, I apply to colleges for him,
and what the hell does Karen do?

Drools and farts. I mean, come on.

- Think he loves her?
- She's brain-dead.

I mean Mickey.

I don't know. Tons of guys get chicks
knocked-up and don't get hitched, so...

Dad's super excited.
Planned the whole thing.

Invited his buds from the gun club.

It's kind of sweet.

Hey. Look what I stole from work.

- Three cheers for Cap'n Cappuccino.
- Like cream with that hostility?

No, it's fine. Whisk my best friend off
when I'm about to have a baby, no biggie.

- We're telling people already?
- Not "people." Just V.

And Mike from work,
who says he'll look into transferring me.

Don't get your panties in a wad,
I know how to keep my mouth shut.

Look, I'm happy for you.
I'm just sad for me.

Don't worry, we'll come visit
your little peanut once a month.

Or you could come stay with us.

I found a couple four- and five-bedroom
houses online. Cheaper than Chicago.

- Okay.
- Pizza. Come get it.

- Pizza.
- Pepperoni.

How was school?

- We did fractions today.
- Chew your food like a human.

So Mike from the office is planning
this big camping trip this weekend...

...and we're all invited. You wanna go?

- Yeah, can we make s'mores?
- Uh-huh.

- And shoot raccoons?
- No.

- Interested?
- Love camping in theory.

Except for the bugs and the dirt and the
ground sleeping, but, yeah, it sounds great.

Well, caffeine addicts await.

- Bye-bye, Dr. Jim.
- Bye, Jimmy.

So...

...you guys know how Jimmy's thinking
about maybe going back to med school?

No.

Okay, well...

...if he does it would be in Michigan.

He'd leave us?

Or we'd go with him, maybe.

To Michigan? What about school?

It'd only be a year. Nothing's decided.
I just want you to start thinking about it.

- What about Frank? We can't leave him.
- Of course we can.

- But it's getting cold.
- His layer of bullshit will keep him warm.

Here.

Ha-ha-ha. Mm.

Hello.

Jimmy's not here. Can I take a message?

Oh, wow, where is it?

How many bathrooms?

A studio?

I will pass it on.

Who was that?

Ann Arbor Rentals.
The application Jimmy put in went through.

- What's a studio?
- It's a one-room apartment, Debs.

- I thought you said it wasn't decided yet.
- How are we all gonna fit in one room?

They're here. They're here.

They're here.

They're here. Aah!

Welcome home. Welcome home.

- Look at you, sweet girl.
- I'm gonna go grab her stuff.

Welcome.
Look at you, you look so much better.

Oh, my gosh,
the color's back in your cheeks.

- Are you happy to be home?
- Yes.

This place is nice. I remember.

- Hi, Lip.
- Hi.

I'm, um...

I'm sorry we didn't install the rails outside.
It's just been so wet.

Are you hungry? I made smoothies.

I'll get you some. Let me get it.

Here we go.

- What is this?
- It's a smoothie.

I like the cold on my throat.

And the tongue taste.

What is this?

- Well, it's a smoothie.
- Right.

Good night.

What did Dr. Ron say about this?

She still has most of her old memories.
She just can't form any new ones.

- Got some pamphlets from the hospital.
- Thanks.

- When's it go away?
- Everyone's different, you know.

Could be permanent.
But I say we keep hope alive.

I got family down in Sedona.

They have healing vortexes out there.
Alternative treatments and stuff.

Well, she just got home.
We don't know what she needs yet.

She seems nicer, though.

- Hey.
- You left your phone at home.

You didn't have to bring it.

- You got a weird call.
- From who?

Some lady from a rental place.
She said your credit's been approved.

You can sign your contract on your studio
whenever you want.

Seems like a tight squeeze,
you know, all of us in one room.

I filled out that application
before we talked.

There was hardly anything available,
it seemed like a good opportunity.

- You put a deposit down.
- I had to.

- On a studio.
- I guess I didn't think it through.

- Have you signed up for classes?
- Technically, I'm enrolled.

- But it's complicated because of my deferral.
- Hey.

Now might be a good time
for a little break-o.

- So you're going, just like that.
- Like I said, nothing's final.

You had no plans to bring us.
You've been slowly backing away.

Isn't it easier if I get a place there
and come home on the weekends?

I mean, why uproot the entire family?

- I can't even believe this.
- It's a four-hour train ride.

For one year, it's totally doable.

You made the decision without me.
As if it has absolutely no effect on us.

How is that different from what you did
when you decided...

...to become legal guardian of those kids?
You never considered how I'd be affected.

- Those kids are my life.
- No shit, Fiona.

Maybe if you would've asked me,
I would've said:

"Yes, let's do this together," but you didn't.
It didn't even occur to you.

You have known from day one
what you were getting into.

I got sucked into your world,
I bent to your rules.

I assumed that we'd decide how
to move forward together like couples do...

...but there never was we.

What have I been doing?
Cooking, cleaning, laundry.

Living in a goddamn slum.

A slum?

You made me feel like I could depend
on you and now it's a slum?

Isn't it? I got robbed at gunpoint
by a 12-year-old girl, Fiona.

Why don't you go find another fucking
place to sleep? A fucking studio!

Quiet.

Ah. Old cigarettes and skunk piss.

Here.

- Just crusts?
- That's all they had.

Well, what about breakfast?

Son...

...I hope you never have to know
what it's like to not have a home.

They'll get over it, at least Fiona will.

I wouldn't count on it.
That ornery bitch can hold a grudge.

People fuck up. That's life.

Family is supposed to be forever.

Supposed to take care of you
regardless of what you do.

That's the whole point.
Otherwise, why bother?

Christ.

There are vermin in here.

I'm your family.

You're right, son.
You haven't let me down.

When I was your age
my pop took me on my first heist.

We scored a hi-fi stereo, about 600 bucks.

Booked a hotel and blew all the dough
on room service and porn.

This was back when you had to pay for it.

Man, those were the days.

Haven't thought about that in years.

My foster gays have a lot of nice stuff.

Your foster gays.

Cassius and Lanier.

Are you suggesting
what I think you're suggesting?

- What do they got?
- iPods, computers.

- How often they there?
- They work weekends.

- Can you pick a lock?
- I have their security code.

Is that so?

That's all right.

Rise and shine.
We're going camping.

Pack some warm clothes, okay?
It gets cold by the lake at night.

- Did you talk to Jimmy about the studio?
- No. Let's go.

Good morning.

Let's go. Up and at them.

Good morning, Milk Dud. Hi.

Hi. We're going camping.
You wanna go camping? It's so fun.

There's playing and singing and kids.

And there's dirt. You love dirt.
You love dirt.

Can I do your ears
or do you still hate that?

My ears.

Where's Jody?

He's at the Wong's picking up Hymie.

Do you remember Hymie?

I remember. The Asian mongoloid.

Actually, we can call him a retard.
We've earned that right.

Do you wanna spend time with him?

Yes.

Aw. That's wonderful.

He is so special.

You know, I saw this movie the other day
about babies around the world.

Do you know that mothers in Africa wipe
their babies' dirty bottoms on their knees?

- Where's Jody?
- At the Wong's.

And then they use leaves
to scrape the poop off.

I mean, why not just use the leaves
in the first place?

I don't understand why they're not sick
all the time over there, with all that bacteria.

Bacteria.

- I'm hungry.
- I'll make sandwiches after this.

Where's Jody?

I understand.

- Jody.
- Aw

It's cool, Mom, I got this.

- Okay, we ready?
- I can't find the flashlight.

- Check the closets.
- I did, like, three times.

- Where's Carl?
- Said he's not going. Doesn't feel well.

Aw.

You look like garbage. You sick?

No temperature.

- Should we stay home?
- I'm not that sick.

No, no, no, please can we still go?
Liam will be so sad.

Okay, but stay in bed. Drink fluids.

- Can you hold him for a second?
- Yeah.

- Get my coat on.
- Hey, buddy.

Enjoy the wedding.

I can't wait to hear the reports.

Jesus, Ian.
What time did you get in last night?

- Three.
- Where were you?

- Out. Argh.
- Ew, gross.

Okay, come on. Upstairs, sleep it off.

Will someone please tell me
what is going on?

I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready.

I hope so.

- Okay, we are off.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye, Debs.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Nurture nature.

We haven't had sex in over a week.

Yeah...

...I've been a little distracted.

What the fuck?

- Hey. Hey.
- Whatever you do...

- Whatever you do...
- Hey, no.

...do not-- Do not let her bone you.

Hey.

You belong here with me...

...not with that fucking vegetable.

Hey, man, thanks for letting me crash.

Well, you just sort of showed up, so...

- What time we crap out last night?
- I was in bed by 11.

You must have passed out after 3...

...because that's the last time
I heard the bathroom door slam...

...time five out of five.
Each time louder than the last.

I'm-- I'm sorry, man. I'm a mess.

- I got in this huge fight with--
- Your girlfriend.

We talked about it for two hours straight.

- Hey, what time is it?
- One-thirty. I gotta split.

I'm on afternoon rotation.
You may as well finish that.

This door locks behind you
if you pull it hard.

- Which you're awesome at, so...
- Okay.

Hey, Kev, it's Lip.

Look, I fucked up. I...

I let her bone me. Just...

Call me back the second you get this,
all right?

- You okay in there?
- Yup.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm just a little backed up.

- For 45 minutes?
- Yup.

- Well, can I get you anything?
- No, please, I'm great.

Okay, I'm fine. Thank you.

I hate my dress.

I look like a drag queen. Think Fiona
would mind if I borrowed one of hers?

- Yes.
- She'd mind, or she'd let me?

Mind.

Jesus, barge right in, why don't you?

What's going on?

I've got a lot of stuff on my mind.

- You can't talk to me about it?
- No.

- What time you gonna come tonight?
- I don't know. Late. I got shit I gotta do.

- At Karen's?
- Errands.

You know what? Don't bother coming.

Work it, Gallagher!

That's right! Own that sack!

- Go.
- Hey.

- How long you been here?
- Hi.

- Couple hours.
- Yeah?

- Where you been?
- Had to do a meat run.

Somebody accidentally left the beef cooler
sitting on the driveway.

And by "someone" I mean me.

You having fun?

- It's my fourth.
- Very nice. I will take that as a yes.

Where's your peeps?

Little redhead is my sister Debbie.

The little brown baby with the boogers
is my brother Liam.

Nice. Nice. Is that it?

Yeah. My brother Carl is sick.
My brother Ian has a hangover.

- My other brother Lip had that wedding.
- Got you, got you.

Where's your man?

Is that cup a perk,
or did you have to pay for that?

Hey, don't hate because I get swag.

Okay, I'm a full-timer. If you weren't
moving, maybe you'd pull cups too.

Well shit,
how could I go now knowing that?

Well, shit, I don't think you can. Cheers.

Hey. Hop in.

I'll give you a ride.

Nando. Hey, wow, when did you get here?

Early.

You flew all the way from Brazil?

Miami. Was there on business.

I'm ravenous. We go eat?

You call me a punk
for wanting a boyfriend...

...but you're gonna marry someone
who screws guys for a living?

Who gives a shit?
It's a fucking piece of paper.

Not to me.

Hey. Come on. Look.

Just because I'm getting hitched doesn't
mean we can't still bang. Okay? All right?

- If you give half a shit about me...
- Hey, hey.

...half...

...don't do this.

And these stairs lead to the side room
and this is the hallway to the bedroom.

This is the outside deck.

The living room, the kitchen,
the other bedroom, and the front room.

- God, how big is this place?
- Big.

Bastards.
There's no more marshmallows.

I hate that.
They give you, like, 10 in the whole bag.

- What if they catch us?
- Visualize success.

- What if they dust for fingerprints?
- Always wear gloves. I got one. Ha-ha-ha.

- A treasure chest. That's a good omen.
- What about DNA testing?

Nobody bothers with that CSI crap,
not on a burglary.

Cops will see these faggots,
they won't give three wet farts.

You with me?

Okay, one, two, three, go.

We'll get it next time.

Mm.

You haven't taken one bite, Steve.

All this food going to waste.

Mm.

Now, tell me.

I hear reports of medical school.

Going back in January.
Gonna become a dermatologist.

- Or a surgeon.
- Good.

Cosmetic surgery is a rich field.

- Very lucrative, much potential.
- Indeed.

And this would require a move
to another state?

Only temporarily.
I'm still working out the details.

I really just wanna do what's best
for everyone.

Sounds like you wanna do
what's best for yourself.

But having a doctor husband for Estefania
would be a great thing.

You know, in America,
doctors are seen as heroes.

I'm familiar with your culture.

Well, the point being, it's all good.

You know, Ann Arbor is a great town.
There's lots of shops.

Mm.

And when was the last time
you seen my daughter?

Two days ago. Why?

I saw her three hours ago...

...in INS holding.

I suppose you're not aware
she's being deported.

- Why? Why--?
- You missed an INS visit yesterday, Steve.

- Why didn't she call me?
- Well, she tried.

You didn't pick up.

And she failed to impress the authorities.

Didn't even know your birthday.

My birthday is Christmas.

- How hard is that to remember?
- And your mother's name.

This is my fault? We did flash cards.
I can't be with her every second.

I ask so little of you, Steve.

So little.

Stay out of trouble.

Be attentive to my daughter.

Her presence in this country
is controversial. You understand that.

We were under a microscope.

- I thought I made that clear.
- Look, I'm so sorry this happened.

I just don't know
what could have been done to prevent it.

That's precisely the problem,
isn't it, Steve?

What now?

Well, what's done cannot be undone.

Now I must grease many palms.

It will be dealt with.

So you're telling me
you've never been to a strip club?

No, just the thought of a lap dance
actually makes me woozy. Like, do I grope?

How do I go about doing that
in a non-offensive way?

Do I make eye contact?
That could be insulting.

Because, I mean,
she works so hard on her body.

- Wow, you really are a gentleman.
- I am hardly a gentleman.

I just have a problem
with forced intimacy.

Blame my mother.

Your mom was a stripper?

Mm-hm.

Still a stripper, by the way. Ahem.

Ninety years old. Takes her,
like, 40 minutes to unhook her bra...

...but when she does, what a show.

So, uh...

...we sort of ditched the party.

Yeah, we sort of did.

I'm gonna make three assumptions.

- Fire away.
- Okay, one...

- ...you're as drunk as I am.
- Correct. Shh.

- Two, you're as cold as I am.
- Colder. Less padding.

I'm gonna ignore that.

Three...

...you're a gentleman.

False.

Quite the opposite.

Mm. Well, then you better behave yourself...

...because I am way too drunk
not to invite you back to my tent right now.

Goddamn, Gallagher.

I ought to get you pissed off more often.

So, what are we gonna do?

- You gonna tell everyone to leave?
- No.

I'll go get this shit over with,
and you can wait here for me.

Shouldn't take more than an hour, right?
Better be ready for round two.

You're not going through with this,
are you?

- Why you acting like I got a choice in this?
- This is bullshit.

Listen to me, Mickey.
Your dad is an evil psychotic prick.

- You're gonna just let him ruin your life?
- You can grow the fuck up.

- Don't act like you know about my dad.
- Are you kidding me?

Not everybody gets to just--

Not everybody just gets to blurt out
how they fucking feel every minute.

- Everyone's looking for you.
- I'm having a smoke, is that all right?

You just get here?

- Yeah.
- I didn't know you were coming.

Last-minute decision.

Come on.

Here we go.

- What? What? You okay?
- What am I doing? What am I doing?

Do you wanna stop? We can stop.

- I'm sorry.
- Don't be sorry.

We got carried away.
These things happen.

I don't know what I'm doing.

You're using me for revenge.

- Am I?
- I'm not saying that I mind.

I do not mind.

I just recognize the impulse.

He was planning on going
to Michigan without me.

- Shit.
- He acted like he was gonna take all of us.

It's not even the first time that he's lied.

I closed my stupid eyes to it
because I wanted it to work so bad.

Your eyes aren't stupid.

I'm an idiot.

Just because someone dumps on you
does not mean you deserve it.

Tell me that
when someone's dumping on you.

"Eve"?

That's my wife.

Ex-wife. God.

Papers went through last week.

I'm kind of too chicken
to get it removed...

...so I'm thinking about
making it into a bigger word.

Like, uh...

..."sleeve" maybe.

"Eleven." I don't know.

Guess you're lucky her name
wasn't Ocksucker.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When did you know when it was over?

When she started going
to the gym every day.

You?

Without a hitch.

Son, you did good.
Close the door. Close the door.

- How much you think it's all worth?
- I don't know. Maybe 3 grand.

- Really?
- Damn straight. Hey, let's celebrate.

Go cook us up some SpaghettiOs.

Listen, I know I got sloppy, but I will fix it.
Just tell me what I can do.

Run drugs. Steal cars. My dad has
connections with the government.

He's a powerful man.
He supports immigration, legislation--

So much traffic today.

- Are the Cubs playing?
- It's a good thing this happened.

I mean, not entirely, of course,
but I'm completely clear on the rules.

I'm absolutely on the same page as you.
I mean, thank you for that. Truly. Truly.

Oh, let's go see who that is.

Oh. Hey.

I'm just finishing up Karen's favorite snack,
snickerdoodle cupcakes.

She's upstairs.

But, hey, you don't need to install
the motion lights...

...because Jody is taking Karen and Hymie
to Sedona...

...to live near the vortexes, so...

It's fine. They're gonna be near family,
and she is his wife after all.

Is Mrs. Wong okay with Hymie leaving?

Well, she's his mother,
and babies belong with their mothers, so...

You go on up.
I'll be right there with snacks.

Hey.

How you feeling?

- Your mom says you're moving.
- I am?

Yeah, to Arizona.

Oh.

The Grand Canyon.

Cactuses.

Right.

Hey.

I know you're in there.
It's just us now, okay?

We can talk.

Hey...

You remember that day we got drunk
and ran around Lincoln Park...

...setting off all the alarms
on the Priuses?

Yeah.

And then we climbed the Lincoln statue...

...and gave old Abe some lipstick
with a red Sharpie.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you were fucking fearless.

And a total shithead.

I remember you made me go down on you
that night in the bathroom of Bennigans.

You remember all that?

Yes.

But...

...I can't feel.

Feel what?

Stuff.

Inside.

I, uh...

I don't know what that means.

I can't explain...

...but it's okay.

Are there snacks?

Mandy. Mandy did this. Okay?

Mandy hit you with the car
and fucked you up forever.

All right? Because of me.

Mandy Milkovich.

Yes.

Do you understand me?

Yes.

Okay.

Do you know who hit you?

No.

Are there snacks?

Mandy!

- Come here.
- Couldn't stay away, could you?

You ruined Karen's life.

You're a jealous, demented cunt, Mandy.

- Seriously. All right? We're done.
- I did it for you, you prick.

I did everything for you,
but you're so fucking blind.

You know what, don't sweat it.

We were done before you got here.

This is Kenyatta.

He's my date.
I just swallowed his load in the bathroom.

Can you taste it?

He did it.

He got married.

To a woman.

Ian, told you not to come here, okay?

You try sitting on your ass
while the person you love--

No, I'm sorry,
I mean the guy you've been fucking...

...gets married
to some random commie skank.

Fucking commie!

Let's go.

Get out of the car.

Okay.

Be a man. Just this once.

Look at me. Look at me.

Deep breath.

Chin up.

Get onto the boat.

Can I just make one phone call to Fiona,
please?

Fuck.

- I don't think I'm gonna make it.
- We're so close, Ian.

- Just gonna lie down for a bit.
- Ian. Stop. We're here.

I'm gonna puke.

We know you've been stealing.

What the fuck?

- Kid, settle down.
- Can I help you?

- Who are you?
- His brother. What's going on?

We have reason to believe this child
may have robbed his former foster parents.

What proof you got?

He had a code assigned to him.
He's the only one that knows it.

That's not evidence.
Get your hands off him.

His code was a series of four letters.

C-A-R-L.

Take your fucking hands off him, man.
He's just a fucking kid.

That's enough of that. Step back.

Take your hands off the officer right now.

- It's gonna be okay.
- He stole from people.

We're taking him in.

What are you taking him in for?
He's a fucking kid.

- Get back.
- Carl, come here.

- Get your fucking hands off me.
- I will arrest you.

- Do not touch him.
- Why you being so rough with him?

- Why is he being so rough with him?
- You touch him again, I will arrest you.

Good evening, gentlemen.

- Are you the parent?
- Why, yes I am.

- What the fuck are you doing here?
- I'm coming home.

- We're taking your son in for questioning.
- He didn't do the heist. I did.

You see? Shiny, but a little bit big.

I also got a boatload of electronics.
Those sold fast.

Did you know Chicago
has several 24-hour pawn shops?

He didn't-- He's innocent.

I forced him to give me the code.

Didn't I, son? Tell him. Oh, my God.

He's dumber than a bag of hair.

He couldn't pull off a Band-Aid,
much less a robbery.

Okay, here, cuff me
before I get disorderly.

Be brave, son.

Order room service.

What happened?

Hell froze over.

Hey, it's Steve. Leave some words.

Hey, it's me.

Five kids at med school,
what was I thinking?

And you're right, we live in a slum.

It's a four-hour train ride. That's nothing.

We can make this work. We have to.

I love you.

Call me.