Shameless (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 10 - Civil Wrongs - full transcript

For all of you who were
too fucking busy,

this is what happened
last week on Shameless.

Why is that man
driving your car?

You let him steal it?

No, Beto, I stole it,

back when life was fun
and the world had meaning.

My partner works for this city.

Because we're not married,

I'm not allowed to share
in his insurance benefits.

You told the world we're gay.

You, my friend,
have stumbled into

the most significant moment

in the history
of the gay rights movement.

You also have dog shit
on your face

and no place to live,

but we can fix that,
if you agree to work with us.

And look at Mickey, marrying
some whore he knocked up.

So is it true?
You're getting married?

You love me.

And you're gay.
Just admit it.

Just this once,
admit it. Ugh!

- You're the temp?
- Yeah, hi.

Yes.
Fiona Gallagher.

Some of the office bitches
may have narced on you

about the porn at your desk
and the personal phone calls.

Well, Mr. Pratt
is asking for a word with you.

- Am I fired?
- No, you're-- you're--

No more naked body parts
at your desk

for any reason.

- Got it.
- And also,

you're doing a great job.

Just the man
I was hoping to run into.

I can't see you anymore.
I'm with Mandy now.

- Who's this?
- It's Karen Jackson.

- Fuck you.
- Oh, you mean, like,

all three of us?

Do you want me to ask Lip
next time we do it?

_

Okay, I'm sorry, mom.

It's-- it's Lip.
He wants to meet at the park.

What'd you hit?

Girl at school.

d Think of all the luck
you got d

d know that
it's not for naught d

d You were beaming
once before d

d but it's not like that
anymore d

d What is this downside d

d that you speak of? d

d What is this feeling d

d you're so sure of? d

d Round up the friends
you got d

d know that
they're not for naught d

d You were willing
once before d

d but it's not like that
anymore d

d What is this downside d

d that you speak of? d

d What is this feeling d

d you're so sure of? d

How many slaves you think
George Washington had sex with?

Carl, eat. Now.

More than Lincoln,
less than Jefferson.

Ian, that bruise
is looking better.

- Who beat you up again?
- No one.

It's ROTC,
practicing hand-to-hand.

Marines still fight
with their fists?

In certain situations, yes.

What's the point
of building nukes

- if we ain't nuking anybody?
- Gross National Product.

Can I use last night's
chicken bones to make soup?

As long as they're not
in the trash.

Lip hear anything new
about Karen?

Still asleep.

Karen or Lip?

Both.

Up and at 'em, yet again.
Impressive.

Having a job does that to me.

You good with Liam duty
again today?

Me and Liam
are deeply bonded bros.

Hey, can I talk to you
for a sec?

Uh, yeah, cool.
Can you walk with me?

Yeah.

- Mwa. Bye, see you later.
- Bye.

- Bye!
- Be good for Jimmy.

Hey, here.
Thanks.

How 'bout
I just give you the headline?

Sure, newsboy.
Headline away.

Okay.

"Helping the world
be a better place."

Yeah, how's that?

I'm thinking about
going back to medical school.

What?

I already finished two years,
only have one to go.

I'm just thinking it might be
the right thing to do for us.

Future and all.
Stability.

Isn't med school really hard?
And expensive?

Yes, but the payoff's great.

Six figures,
and I'll take out loans.

Doesn't work out,
I'll just default.

"Doctor Jimmy," huh?

Yeah, spit-balling.

Okay. Well,
I'm off to sell cups

to people that use them.

Not as exciting
as medical school,

but exciting nonetheless.

Hey.

Okay, let's get started.

You all know why you're here.

You've seen his story
on the news,

on Twitter feeds,
on your Facebook walls.

His is a tale
of a lifetime in the closet,

of a brave midlife embrace
of his true nature,

and an acknowledgment
that he is a lightning rod

for a vital civil rights issue.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Frank Gallagher.

Frank?

Um...

We're at a--
we are at a crucial time

in our nation's history.

Where, as a nation, we'll either
pivot toward what's right...

or, um... stay stuck
in what's wrong,

and make no mistake, right now,
it's a horrible time to be gay.

And I, like all of you,
have experienced it firsthand.

Apparently,
I've caused a ruckus

because I said that gay folks
deserve certain civil rights--

rights that the breeders
don't want to bestow upon me.

Ha, ha, ha. Upon we.

Those breeders,
all they wanna do is stop us

from having the sex
that they wish they were having.

If... if--

if the kind of sex we're having
is what offends them most,

they should let us get married,

'cause anybody
who's been married

knows that the sex
is downhill from there.

Now, we have long-- thank you.
We have long been wronged,

and it's time for legislation

that allows our private parts
to be aroused

by the people God intended
to arouse them.

And--

and it's time for that arousal
to happen within marriage!

So get out your wallets,
or your-- your man purses,

or whatever, and give now,

'cause I hope never to be
up again this early,

unless it's rolling over
with a couple of you in bed.

Thank you.
I love you.

Shit, you're good!
How did you get so good?

My whole life, I've been
trying to convince people

to do what they really
don't want to do.

The-- the envelope, kind sir?

Thank you, thank you.

Now, we gotta talk about
upgrading my room.

Uh, you can tip the front desk

with some of my recently
departed hard-earned cash.

The front desk
at the Merchant Motor Inn

is behind bulletproof glass.

It's plexiglass.

You have a queen bed
and premium channels.

You saw what I did here.
I'm your new rainmaker.

I can get these rump-swappers
to cough up cash night and day.

"Rump-swappers"?

There's a slur
I've never heard before.

Okay, we'll see how
the high school speech goes,

but until then,
you're still on the clock,

so go shake some hands,
ya little rump-swapper.

You saucy tart, you.

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Napisy zosta?y specjalnie dopasowane do Twojej wersji filmu.

Ogl?daj legalnie, polecaj i zarabiaj ? Vodeon.pl

Sorry about that.

It happens.

Look, it's not you.
I just, I...

I can't get Karen getting hit
by that car out of my mind.

Hey.

Hey, wait a minute.
I can focus.

I'm late for school.
We can give each other head

in the shed behind
the football field at lunch.

It is hard to turn down
head in the shed,

but I might not
make it there by lunch.

Gotta stop by the hospital,
see if Karen's okay.

She's in a coma.

No, I know, I just...
wanna show some support.

She won't even know
that you're there.

Still,
it's the right thing to do.

Well, you want me to come with?

No, I'm cool.

_

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Your brow is furrowed.

Oh, that's its natural state.

Actually, my boyfriend

just kinda sprung some news
on me as I was leaving.

What's your guy want,
a night out with the boys?

New pickup truck?

Actually, he's thinking about
going back to medical school.

Wow, you're dating a doctor.

New K-cups came in!

Whoo! Whoo!

I need me
my French vanilla supreme!

Hells, yeah! And a black tiger
for the con-woman!

- Whoo!
- We got to celebrate.

Fiona's fiance
is gonna be a doctor.

He's not my fiance.

- Yet.
- Put your hooks in him, girl.

Doctors are rich.

All right, K-cups are in.
Fantastic.

We're celebrating Fiona's
impending marriage to a doctor.

Oh, wow. Really?

I-- no, not really.

Well, what flavor's
your "K" cup poison?

- Never had one.
- What?

Well, let us usher you across
the workplace coffee frontier.

She ain't gonna need
a workplace much longer.

Yeah, soon, she'll have
her servants

bringing her coffee
out of a silver chalice.

Okay, come on now, stop.

- Oh.
- No, seriously, keep going.

Morning, Mandy.

Why does Lip give a fuck
whether that bitch Karen

is alive or dead?

It's a mystery.

What was all that about?

You, Karen,
the unfathomable male soul.

Why aren't you in school?

Skipping.

Debs, we need at least
one person in this family

to not turn cynical,
and my money's been on you.

I made soup for Sheila.

That's nice.
I'm gonna drop by the hospital.

I'll take it for you.

And take the credit
for doing something nice

when you actually did nothing?

Well, to be fair,
at that point,

I will have carried it
all the way over there, so--

You're taking Mandy
for granted.

Why?
What'd she tell you?

She's kind, she's devoted,

she's not someone
whose feelings you can ignore,

so stop being a dope,

and put her feelings first
every once in a while.

School is a time to experiment
with your minds

and with your genitalia.

Now, the human genitalia, to me,
is like a homing device--

God's compass.
Huh?

And each of us has it,

and it guides us
to our destined homes.

Now, our devices don't work
if we try to point 'em

in a direction that they
don't want to go in.

He needs to tone it down,
please.

But, you know,
I laugh for a point,

because let people chow down

on the nether region
of their choice--

male, female,
consenting animal.

Stop-- uh...

Mason Preparatory Academy,
thank you so much...

- Thank you.
- ...for hearing our story.

Thank you. You're terrific.

You guys are terrific.

- I-- I'm sorry. It's-- I can't--
- What the hell was that?

It's the hotel.
I need a mini-fridge.

I need a hot plate
at the very least.

- I tried to take a nap...
- Excuse me?

- And I can't--
- Excuse me,

that was the most honest speech
I've ever heard.

I just texted my dad,
and he told me

I could donate $1,000
to the cause.

Um, who do I
make the check out to?

"The Certitude Commission."

Okay. "Cert"-- okay.

Kill the phenobarbital
and paralytics.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, hi. I'm sorry.
I know-- good morning.

I know you're really busy,

but what--
what are you "killing"?

The swelling appears to have
gone down in her brain,

so I'm killing the meds
that induce the coma.

Oh, okay.
Excuse me.

I'm sorry.
What does that mean?

I'm removing some of her meds.

- Okay. N-- I'm sorry--
- Hey!

- Yes?
- I'm a nice guy.

Patient, not usually
a violent dude,

but if you try to leave here
one more time

without telling us
what's going on

in words we can understand,

I will your lift
your tiny body over my head

and throw you out the window.

Your wife has sustained
serious trauma to her brain.

So you said
that you're removing

the meds that induce the coma.

Does that mean
she's gonna wake up soon?

That is one possibility.

What are
the other possibilities?

That she won't wake up soon,

or that she won't wake up ever.

But if she does wake up,
will she be okay?

We won't know how much damage
there is until she wakes.

Well, can we help her wake up?

Is she-- can she hear us
in there?

Nobody knows,

and I don't want to get myself
thrown out the window.

Sweetie?

Time to wake up.

Bacon, lettuce, and tomato
on white,

just like
your other favorite meat.

Really, nothing? I've been
brewing that line for weeks.

Mom's period day is tomorrow.

- Oh.
- You didn't know that?

Ah, come on, V, I only got
so much in the hard drive.

Remembering
your mom's menstrual cycle

is not a top priority.

Want me to go to Walgreen's,
get a pee stick?

- Honestly?
- No, no, lie to me.

I hear
it makes marriages thrive.

Eat.

I'll get a pee stick,
we'll call your mom,

and we'll watch her take a piss.
It'll be fun.

Mickey getting married,
does that make sense to you?

What sense needs to be made?

Someone's pregnant,
someone got them pregnant,

and that's...
why marriage was invented.

They been going out long?

Who knows, I wasn't in
on the courting, or the fucking.

So where did they meet?

She works
at Garden Springs Spa,

if you call jerking off
random dudes working.

She pretty?

On the dead-eyed
Russian hand-whore scale?

I'd say she'd rate
about a seven.

Choo, choo.

Boom!

- You have sweet and low?
- I do not.

It's okay.
I always keep some in my wallet.

Just have to replace this one.

I feel so honored to be invited
to your mistress' porch.

When will you invite me inside
for scones?

No time soon.
Listen,

I'm thinking about taking
a little vacation to Michigan.

I hope it's not to commandeer
a shipment of cars.

I'm thinking of going
back to medical school.

In Michigan?

I quit before I could finish,
and I only have

a couple of semesters left
to get my degree,

- so--
- So not a vacation?

Not exactly, no.

So why the step-stutter?
Why not tell me that

- from the beginning?
- It's "stutter-step," okay?

I was testing the waters first.

It's good for me, and for you.

I'll be keeping out of trouble,
keeping my nose clean.

In Michigan?

Yes.

I mean, we can go up there,
drive around.

I mean, great food.
Excellent cheese. Truth.

Good luck
convincing her to move.

- Fiona?
- Estefania _,

your wife!

_

_

Wait, is it--
but if I do, you're onboard?

Why is it you think
I am in charge, huh?

- Charge!
- I'm not the one

who's in charge.
Are you in charge?

You're in charge.

- Charge.
- I go where I'm supposed to go

and I do
what I'm supposed to do, okay?

If I do those things,
I stay out of trouble.

I suggest you do the same.

He-ey.

Hi.

- Chicken soup.
- Oh!

Oh.

Hey, busy beaver.

You know the phrase
"speed kills"? It's true.

Just trying
to get through this stack.

Another stack
just replaces this stack.

Where's the next stack?

Embrace the science of slow.

You shoulda thought about that
before you made me

mainline K-cups.

I've got a cup of jet fuel,
two black tigers,

and a butter toffee in me.

I feel like
I just did an eight ball.

You don't wanna raise
the level of expectation

for when Maria comes back
from sick leave.

- Science of slow.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna grab some lunch.
Wanna join?

- Brown-bagging it.
- C'mon, my treat.

You'll pay me back in spades

when your doctor man
starts his own practice.

- Come on, come on.
- Okay.

Hey!
If it isn't Liberace!

Liberace was rich.

Go ahead. Go ahead and mock,
but I have found a constituency

willing to reward me
for my talents.

Larceny and vomiting?

Oratory.
I'll have a Maker's Mark.

Make it the good--
oh, come on.

You haven't paid your tab
in months, Frank.

Oh! Good for you!

Here, let me give you
some change.

- 5 bucks?
- You're lucky

we don't charge interest,
Frank.

Haven't seen you
this cleaned up in ages, Frank.

Uh, Christmas, 2008.

Your mom made dinner
for you and me,

then she went away, and
you and I made the videotape.

You remember that?
You still have it?

That was hot!
I went six or seven rounds.

That's close
to my personal best.

Frank Gallagher?

Uh, never heard of him.

Allow me to introduce myself.
Alistair Huddleston.

Can I buy you a drink?

Make it two.

To men.

I work for
"Return To Paradise Project."

We're a transformational
ministry

specializing
in conversion therapy.

We return homosexuals to healthy
heterosexual lifestyles.

Why would you go do that?

We believe that homosexuality
is curable.

Though some find pleasure in it,
homosexuality is an addiction,

an addiction
that tears families apart.

I have a gay son.
Never have to worry

about him impregnating
some skanky neighborhood slut

and bringing home
her unplanned-for half-breed.

I wish I'd known I was gay
back then.

I could've risen high
in any one of the many fields

dominated by gays.
Entertainment, politics,

broadcasting.

Tennis.

You're working
for Abraham Paige's agenda?

I'm cleaning up.
Helping the oppressed.

They're addicted,
not oppressed,

and we can pay you more.

How much more?

Stipend, room, board,

and substantial speaking fees
upon completion of therapy.

I draw the line at therapy.

But Frank, see, without
the therapy, there's no cure.

I want to be able to say
we cured you.

Gay is who I am now.
Gay is who I shall be.

Frank, you once walked
the true path

of heterosexual love.

If I were to redirect you
back onto that path,

you'll be a much more compelling
speaker for our cause,

because you'll have been singed
by the fires of hell,

but lived to tell.

Our therapy works.

It starts
with aversion techniques,

conditioning you to avoid
certain gay-sex triggers.

Clinical fornication
would start

once you've practiced
some of those techniques.

Sorry, clinical fornication?

We house you
in the Delacroix Hotel,

and deliver women to you
to have sex with

until you're cured.

I-I-I'm sorry,
I interrupted you. What--?

We feel this is
a lesser sin than sodomy.

I grant that this seems
unconventional,

but new ideas are necessary
to counter unwavering plagues.

We're paving a road
back to God,

and the devil
has erected obstacles

that call for rule-bending
in service of a greater good.

Throw in
some walking around money,

and I'll give it a shot.

That whore
that Mickey's marrying

is an actual whore that
works at Garden Springs Spa.

Friends and family discounts
on handy-Js.

Terry made Mickey fuck her
to fuck the gay out of him.

When?

After he caught us together.

Dude, how did I not
know this shit?

I didn't tell you.

Well, did it work?

I mean, he might've faked it
once or twice,

but he wants to be with me.

I know what he felt with me.
You can't fake that.

And now,
this chick is pregnant.

Ian, my brother,
you need to get out there

and fuck someone new, okay?

And someone in his early 20s,

not some old dude
like Kash or Ned.

Fuck you.

All right, seriously,
go into a gay bar,

make your need known,
and have at it.

Mandy's upset
you're upset about Karen.

Jesus. How many people
is Mandy talking to?

She cares about you.

Why... I don't know.
You can be a real shithead.

How did we get this mixed up

with two people
from the Milkovich family?

Um...

- Bad parenting.
- Yeah.

Prime rib for two?

Right there.
Yeah. Oh.

Oh, yeah.

And here you go,

and here you go.

Mr. Gallagher?
Please excuse my informality,

but I saw you on TV, and just,

on behalf
of the entire gay community,

I want to thank you
for putting yourself

in the crosshairs
of this political issue.

I mean, it's courageous
and inspiring.

Whatever you need
while you are here...

- Uh...
- ...please, just do not

- hesitate to ask.
- Ketchup.

- What?
- Ketchup.

Oh!
Absolutely, yes.

Um, my name is Jesus.

Do you need me to sign you up
for any spa treatments, or...

Well,
I'm wide-open tomorrow,

chockablock me some massages
from sunup to sundown.

Throw in a facial.

Okay-- will do.

Ketchup.

Oh, right!

Is it possible that my teeth

will spontaneously
straighten out on their own?

Uh, Jimmy's going
back to medical school.

We can ask him to help.

I need alcohol.

Is your mom not pregnant again?

Can't find her.
Went to her house, her work.

She's avoiding me.
Must be bad news.

- Think positive.
- I've done that

for the past two months,

and every time
she pees on the stick,

it's bad news,
and then I get depressed

thinking about
my husband banging my mom,

'cause we selfishly want to have
a baby with some of our DNA--

and maybe my mom
can't get pregnant anymore,

and we've crossed this line
for no reason,

and every time I'm reminded
it's not me banging my husband,

and it's not me
peeing on the stick,

and it's not me
that gets to have the baby!

V, your mom wouldn't be
doing this if it wasn't for you.

Kev's only doing this
because he loves you.

There'd be no baby without you.

They all love you so much.
This is all about you.

So you're gonna get some wine,
get the stick,

get your mom in the bathroom,
and if you get bad news,

get drunk,

and we'll figure out
what comes next.

Who needs
root beer float coffee?

All of us.

I love you.

- Call me with the news.
- Thank you.

Debs, Carl, bedtime!

See these?

Can you buy me braces
like you paid for Carl's?

Aw, Debbie,
they don't look so bad.

- Ee!
- Shut up!

Yeah, if "not that bad"
means one going this way

and one going that way.
Then yeah.

Well, they add character.

I have red hair, freckles,
and crooked teeth.

Don't need any more character.

Okay, listen, things are
a little tight right now,

but I'll make it happen, soon.
I promise, okay?

So...

medical school, huh?

I... I mean,
I put in a ton of work,

and I just got thinking
that maybe I should go back

and finish
what I started. I--

- I think it's great.
- Really?

Yeah.

You're smart,
you care about people,

- you're a good person.
- Mmm.

Getting Carl braces,
Debbie braces,

taking care of Liam.

Mmm. Mmm.

Look how much
you cared for all of us,

without getting much in return.

Hey, I get plenty in return.

I'm behind you
all the way. Mwa!

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

'Cause I'm gonna need it.

Plenty of work.
Plenty of hours.

So where would you go?

University of Chicago?
Northwestern?

Northwestern could work.

Yeah, just gotta
check into it, but...

plenty of options.

"Dr. Jimmy."

That'd be something, huh?

Doctor!

Hmm.

Hey.

- How's your room, Frank?
- Amenities need to be amended.

These mini-bottles
are a little too mini.

I need to get
some of the big boys up here.

Will do.

I brought you some media
that needs to be viewed

before we can begin
the conversion process.

Okey-dokey. I'll get started
on this one pronto.

You have been married before?

Still am, but she never
really floated my boat.

I did my husbandly duty
to keep her happy,

but it was always
without pleasure

or joy.

- Kids?
- A few.

So you have committed
the loving act

of heterosexual copulation?

It was always
under the influence, frankly.

Had to
to get the plumbing to work.

No, we think
you just got sidetracked.

With your history
of female contact,

we can begin the clinical
fornication stage immediately.

I doubt it'll work,
but I'll give it my best efforts

if you think it might help.

Hello, cuppers!

My great-great-grandfather

fought in the war
between the states.

He came back from that war
with one goal in mind.

To invent a disposable cup
so he wouldn't have to wash...

"The same stupid cup
every doggone time!"

Good news!
We have received approval...

Hey, Fiona, you play softball?

- Uh, no.
- Never?

- Shh! Uncle Matt's talking.
- Mm.

Nice job, Vinny Pitaro!

- Vinny! Vinny!
- Hey, Vinny!

There he is!

So we have a team
called "The Cuppers,"

and I need you on the squad
for tonight's game.

Really,
I'm-I'm-I'm terrible.

Oh, "twas back
before the millennium

when I last
donned me cleats."

- What accent is that?
- Uh, bad British I think.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

...thousands of cups

at many a tailgate!

Go get 'em, cuppers!

So come on, the league's coed,

so, you know, we need
more ladies or we gotta forfeit.

All right, I get it. I get it.
You're a doctor's wife.

You know, you gotta
keep up appearances.

Can't have fun
with your co-workers

or a life for yourself.
Totally understand.

O-o-okay, fine.
Text me where the field is,

and if I feel like
blowing out a knee...

I'll be there.

All right! Hey, you're not
gonna want to miss it, either.

We pop a pony keg of bud after.

- Just sayin'.
- Just sayin'.

Excuse me,
do you know where I might

be able to find
Frank Gallagher?

Best bet,
nearest jail or gutter.

Would you tell him
that Abraham is looking for him,

and that he can reach me
at that number?

Uh, I remember best
when I'm tipped to do so.

Mr. Abraham, I will see to it
that he gets your message.

Thank you.

- Frank, this is Scotty.
- Hi, Frank.

Could you excuse us
just one second? I--

I am not gonna stop fucking men

to start fucking women
who look like men.

This is a ministry,
not a brothel.

The volunteers who are ready

are teamed with others
who are ready.

Thanks for being here
and doing this with me.

Scotty's been with us for
six months of hard, devoted work

trying to overcome
her lesbian tendencies.

You're going to help
each other.

It's been a long road,
but I want to be right with God.

As does Frank.
Don't you, Frank?

It's always good
to have God in your corner.

The goal of this stage
is to stimulate one another,

and see if stimulation can
lead to copulation and orgasm.

Okay, uh, you're anxious to go.

I'm gonna slip out before
you slip off anything else.

Is this really happening?

God willing.
The last time Alistair

brought a man in to see me,
he left in tears

after I got undressed.
Last time I shave everything.

Scotty has been taking
birth control,

but as an extra precaution
against STDs,

please use the condoms

I provided for you
in the bathroom.

Be like Adam and Eve,
discovering one another

for the first time
in the Garden of Eden--

naked, discovering each other,
bringing to each other

the pleasure
that God intended for them.

No shame, no guilt,
no knowledge of things

that distract us
from God's love.

d Get up, get up d

d Wake up, wake up, wake up d

d Oh, baby,
now, let's get down tonight d

Well, I must say,
you have amazing cans.

- Shawna used to say that.
- Who's Shawna?

Someone I'm trying to forget.

Will you please help me...
forget her?

d And baby d

d I can't hold it much longer d

Well, hello down there.

Oh, God wants this for us.

You know what? Maybe--
maybe he's right.

If you were supposed to be
a lesbian

and I was supposed to be gay,

he'd be limp,

and look,
my loaf of bread riseth.

You ever felt
one of those before?

Never one this old.

Thanks.

It's like a hickory tree.
Gets stronger every year.

Whoa!

- Hey.
- Hey.

You okay?

- Yeah.
- You weren't at school today.

Oh, no, I didn't make it.

Karen?

She's in pretty bad shape.

You going over there
later tonight?

Uh...

I don't know.

I'm not really sure.

Do you want me
to come over later?

I missed you last night.

Sure.

Yes, please.

Okay, I'll see you later.

Okay.

How's it going up there?

- Fine.
- 'Cause, you know,

I haven't seen your face
for awhile,

and you're not saying much.

- It's fine.
- Okay, well,

I got an appointment
that I've got to make,

so what can we do
to get you where you need to be?

Trying.

Is there anything I could do
to hurry it up?

Not sure.

What if you were to imagine
that I'm Angelina Jolie?

d Don't leave me hanging d

'Cause you know,
I got these people that need--

Shut up please, Angie!

d I just want someone
that I can talk to d

d I want you
just the way you are d

d I need to know
that you will always be-- d

She hates that song.

I'm sorry.
I'm really--

look, I know you're here
all day,

and you're just trying
to wake her up.

I just think, you know,
if you want to wake her up

you should do shit she likes,
not shit she hates.

She hates that.

What do you think
she would like?

I don't know,
uh, something else.

I'm gonna go get some coffee.

No, Jody, look,
I didn't mean to--

No, man,
you're-- you're right.

You've been
a good friend to her.

Any progress at all?

Well, she flicks her toes
sometimes,

but the doctor thinks
it could just be reflexes.

Right.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.
I've often thought

Jody's musical repertoire
could use some updating.

No, uh,
I'm sorry, I--

I wasn't very nice to Karen...

the last time I saw her.

Actually, I, uh...
I kind of ended it,

and I didn't do it very well,

and I don't want that to be
the last she heard from me.

It won't be.

We're thinking positive.
Makes a difference.

She's gonna wake up,

and you didn't
make her sad, Lip.

She was so happy when she got
that text from you.

She knew
you were texting to make up.

You should've seen her
light up.

- Text?
- The night of the accident,

when she came to meet you.

I honestly think
that she was so excited,

she just forgot
to look both ways.

Do you have Karen's phone here?

Um...

it could be with her things.

I think, um...

_

d Ugh! Ugh! d

d When you wake up
in the morning d

That's enough, girls!
Walk away.

Renee, walk away.

I've been looking
all over for you!

My cell phone died.
You didn't leave me a charger.

How'd you find me?

I know people, Frank.

I put the word out, they call.

I got you a better hotel.

This is for the Embassy Suites,
North State Street.

Finish your drink,
head over, get dressed.

There's clean polos
and khakis in the closet.

Your next gig is at the
Oscar Wilde Bookstore, tonight.

- Okay.
- Look sharp.

Hey! I've been trying
to find you.

I've been avoiding you
finding me.

- Mama.
- I'm not feeling well,

and when I don't feel well,
it's usually bad news.

No, it could be good news.

The last two times,
you felt fine

and it was bad news, so maybe
this time it's good news.

No, I don't think so.

Mama, I really appreciate
all you've done

and continue to do for me.

Gimme the stick.

- Can I go with you this time?
- No!

Bathrooms have doors
for a reason.

I'll do the whizzing,
you do the waiting.

Keep your hopes in check.

All right,
everyone grab your jackets,

it might be cold, and
I don't want to wait for you.

- Get off!
- Hey!

Hey! Hungry?

Spaghetti and bread.
I made them leave you some.

Thanks.
How was work?

It was good.
It was great, actually.

I got invited
to play softball tonight.

You even own a glove?

It's Chicago-style softball.
You don't need a glove.

- Look at you, trying to fit in.
- Hmm.

I'm hoping they keep me
around for a while.

Come with. It should be fun.
We can grab a drink after.

- You can meet everyone.
- Cool.

Hey, I may have to spend
some more time in Michigan.

- What?
- Med school.

Admissions Department called
and said

that I have to finish up there
or I lose a bunch of credits.

I can apply for schools here,
but I'd basically

have to start over, and lose
all the work I've already done.

It's only for a year.

I know it's a bit
of a fly in the ointment,

but they're being really cool,
letting me re-enroll.

- There's no other option?
- Not really.

What--
not really, or no?

No.

Wow, that's... wow.

- You can come with me.
- To Michigan?

It's not that far.

W-- the kids?

Yeah, sure, if you want.

- If I want?
- Yes, yes, of course, them too.

Look, there's details
to sort through,

but they're all doable details,
totally doable details.

Uh-huh.
Uh...

I have to get ready
for softball.

Attention, people!
Kevin is gonna be a daddy!

Holy shit!

Hooray!

Really? Really?

Look at the stick, people!

Are you serious?

Look at this stick!
Look at this stick!

Be aware,
for the rest of the night,

I am stirring cocktails
with this stick!

d Oh, it's a beautiful life d

d whoa, whoa whoa, whoa d

d whoa, whoa d

d oh, it's a beautiful life d

_

Frank, where the hell are you?

Call me.

- Hey.
- I can't believe you texted me

for a second go around.

Maybe I made a mistake
coming back.

- No, no, no, no. Come on.
- Mmm.

We are heteros trapped
in the demonic obsession

of same-sex sin.

We must
rid ourselves of the gay.

We just
have to keep practicing.

d It's how you get up,
then you fall d

Let's go, Mike!
Come on, bring us home!

Fiona's so into softball, huh?

We need more of that
around here, Connie.

- Mike, end this thing!
- Yeah, Mike!

We don't have enough beer
for extra innings.

Oh, my God!

Put me down!
Put me down!

Beer!
Let's get some beer!

Should we be
planning for the worst?

She's been through
a tremendous trauma,

but I've seen miracles.
They do happen.

Just keep engaging with her,

doing things she likes that
might trigger her unconscious.

Let her know you're here.

Sheila...

you should go home tonight,
get some sleep.

Sheila,

I think we need to start
taking turns

getting some shut-eye
in a real bed.

- I think--
- Please don't say that.

- Please.
- I'm not saying

- she's not gonna wake up...
- Jody--

- I'm just saying
it's a marathon, not a sprint.

We gotta start taking care
of ourselves, for Karen.

You're a prince, Jody.

Stop.

You're like a prince.

And I-- I think
that you're her prince.

When-- when she was
a little girl,

I would read to her from this
old, old book of fairy tales.

They're dark, the old ones.
They're twisted and scary,

and she would hold my hand
and squeeze it really tight

when the witches
and the poisoned apples--

and wait for the kiss
of true love, and when it came,

she would smile and say
"mama, read it again."

She grew up,
and I took her prince.

You're hers.

All right, cuppers, good game,
guys. Thanks for having me.

What? No, you-- what?
You've had, like,

- a half of a beer.
- Pound the rest of it, girl!

Actually, that would be
"half pounding" it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
hey, Uncle Matt's rules.

All cuppers get to come in
two hours late

the day after
a softball victory.

Uncle Matt encourages
drunkenness.

- Stop it.
- Yeah, please, drink with us.

I told my brother
I'd only stay for a second.

Those little ones gotta be
in bed before midnight.

How many of those kids
are yours?

I birthed none,
yet I'm responsible for all.

Wait until you marry
the doctor,

you'll have your own
Irish brood.

Uh, go cuppers!

Go cuppers!

Finish that.

Oh, thank you. Bye!
All right.

That must be the doctor.

Mm-hmm.

Did I do that out loud?

- Yup.
- All right, guys,

come on, come on, stop staring.

- Why?
- Amateurs.

Were we staring?

How was the game?

Walk-off win.
I scored.

You knew, didn't you?

- Knew what?
- Michigan.

You knew you were gonna have to
move back from the beginning.

What? No.

Please don't be
the guy who lies!

Please, don't be that guy.

Yes... probably.
N-not for sure, but yes.

- I'm tired, dude.
- Fiona.

- Fiona!
- What?

I need a change.

From me?

You know
that's not what I meant.

Clearly, I only know
what you want to tell me

when you decide
you want to tell it to me.

I love you.

Great.

Debbie needs braces.

I'm making espressos,
you're selling cups.

It's a year.

Stop saying it
like a year is nothing,

like nothing can happen
in a year,

like being away from each other
for a year wouldn't matter!

Other people do it.

I'm tired.

I gotta get up
early in the morning.

Selling cups.

Fiona?

I'm gonna be a great doctor.

I'm not arguing that.

Are you awake?

Oh, give it to me, Rihanna!
Yeah! Oh, yeah!

Open the door.

Go! Almost there.
Oh, almost there!

Oh, my God.

I-I can explain.

Reparative therapy?

Jesus, get her out of here.

But I can fix him.

- I can try harder.
- Get--!

- I can do it!
- Jesus, get her out!

You let yourself be brainwashed
by Alistair Huddleston

and his "Return To Paradise
Project" lunatics?

I thought she was a he.

She was wearing Pendleton plaid
and combat boots.

Paul Bunyan's blue ox
would have been fooled.

All she needed was an axe.

Jesus, lock the door.

I'm gay!

Hey, Jesus, wait.
I'm gay.

I'm completely 100% gay.

Good.

Now you're gonna prove it.

Boys.

I like to watch.

Oh, boy.

I mean, oh, boy!

So when you say
you "went down--"?

I went down and I went to town.

I chowed down on her like I was
drinking from a cup of ambrosia,

and she came!
She came to.

You gotta get the word out.

I found the cure to comas!

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