Shameless (2011–…): Season 10, Episode 12 - "Gallavich!" - full transcript

[glass shatters]

Jesus!

Can't you see I'm working?

I don't got time for this shit.

Come on. Get outta here!

[Faye] Frank!

I just wanna make sure
you're okay.

Maybe when I get back
from Puerto Rico,

- we can grab a coffee?
- [glass shatters]

I spend
the winters down there.

[laughs]

So Debbie and I are fucking.

You're gay?

I hate vaginas.
I just wanted to piss you off.

Rich people are crazy.

Fuckin' nuts.

- You wanna fuck?
- Fuck yeah.

[Kev] This place is for rent.

We should call the number,
check it out.

Kev Ball's Keg Zone.

Keg curls.

I've been to every home
in Glencoe looking for you.

Does anyone else know I'm here?

Nobody.

We're having
a wedding wedding?

Just want you to know,
you marry a man,

I'ma put a fuckin' bullet
in your head.

Don't say I didn't warn you,
cocksmoker.

[Lip] I rented that house.

My family, this neighborhood
is my support system.

I would love
if you would help me

make that house a home.

♪ rock music ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Think of all
the luck you got ♪

♪ Know that
it's not for naught ♪

♪ You were beaming
once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of? ♪

♪ What is this feeling ♪

♪ You're so sure of? ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Round up
the friends you got ♪

♪ Know that
they're not for naught ♪

♪ You were willing
once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of? ♪

♪ What is this feeling ♪

♪ You're so sure of? ♪

[train rattling loudly]

♪ mellow acoustic music ♪

♪♪♪

[grunts softly]

[exhales heavily]

♪♪♪

[door squeaks open]

Tami.

[knocking]

Tami, you up?
Coffee's on.

Tami.

♪♪♪

- [Liam] Mickey's the bride?
- [Ian] Nope. Groom.

- So you're the bride.
- No. Also a groom.

- Who's wearing the white tux?
- [Ian] Mickey.

- Take your meds yet?
- [Ian] Yes.

[Carl] Gonna be
a stressful day.

Got it.

You pickin' those up?

Yeah.

Frank walking you
down the aisle?

Grooms, remember?

- [Liam] Is he coming?
- God, I hope not.

- [Liam] He's in Glencoe.
- Great. I hope he stays there.

Hey. I gotta go out for a bit.

You take your meds yet?
It's gonna be a stressful day.

- Yes. First thing.
- [Lip] All right.

Hey, we gotta meet
at the Bamboo Lotus

at two for photos.

Okay. Got it.

Hey, how much
did these tuxes cost?

Um, Mickey rented them
at some fancy place downtown.

Where's Mickey getting
all the money for this?

Savings, he says.

[scoffs] "Savings"?

- [door bangs]
- [women scream]

- [man grunts]
- On the floor, motherfuckers!

[gun cocking]

♪ upbeat rock music ♪

I don't really wanna know.

Father Pete marrying you?

Father Pete's Catholic.

Pope won't let him
marry gay people.

But Father Pete's gay.

Lives in the rectory
with the organist

with the nipple ring.

Wait. The organist
at Saint Sebastian's

got a nipple ring?

[Ian] Reverend Sally's
doing the ceremony.

She's Episcopalian.

They'll marry anybody.

Yeah, those are nice, right?

Mm-hmm.

- [Mickey] Take your meds?
- [Ian] [sighs] Yes.

- Good.
- [Ian grunts]

[Carl] Serious?

The fuck out, shithead.

♪ quirky rock music ♪

♪♪♪

You get them anything
for the wedding?

Yeah. Edible boxers.

Not very imaginative.

I wanna get them
something special,

but no money.

You can go in
on the boxers with me.

They got a honeymoon car?

What's a honeymoon car?

A car you take
to your honeymoon.

[slurps, spits]

Eh, they'll probably just stay

at the Love Canal
for the night,

take a bus or something.

[grunts]

- Hey, you might wanna...
- Mm-hmm.

- I'm gonna take a deuce.
- Yep.

[grunts]

Dress. Dress. Dress.

Dress. Dress.

Dress. Dress.

- Dress. Dress. Dress.
- No, sweetie.

Hey, the wedding isn't
till this afternoon, okay?

Please, Mommy. Now.

[Sandy] What is she on about?

She wants to wear
her flower girl dress again.

Why the hell not?
She's only gonna wear it once.

[chuckles]
Okay, sweetie.

- Go on.
- Yay!

It's hanging on the ironing
board in the kitchen.

[squeals playfully] Go.

[Franny babbles softly]

Uh, so...

about last night.

Mm.

[sirens wailing distantly]

Yeah.

[both chuckle]

Cool.

So...

We gotta be
at the Bamboo

at nine
for the flower delivery.

And then the caterers
are delivering

the chairs and shit at ten.

So...

You think your uncle's serious
about shooting Mickey?

Serious as a heart attack.

But he probably won't do it
at the wedding.

Too many witnesses.

- [cell phone dings]
- He'll wait

till Mickey's alone somewhere
or walking to the L

or...

Holy sh-shit.

What?

It's on fire.

What's on fire?

The Bamboo Lotus.
It's on fire!

Dude, it's on fucking fire!

Fuck is going on?

Debs.

[sirens wailing]

♪♪♪

Oh...

fuck.

♪♪♪

[Carl]
What the hell's going on?

What is that?

The Bamboo Lotus.

What?

[Carl] The wedding place?

It's on fire.

♪♪♪

[fire roaring
firefighters yelling]

Terry?

What do you think?

Motherfucker.

[Ian] Oh, shit.

[Sandy] Fuck. Mickey!

♪ heavy rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[Ian] Mickey!

♪♪♪

Mickey!

[bellowing] Terry Milkovich!

- You fuckin' pig fucker!
- [Ian] Mickey.

[Sandy] Jesus, Mick!

I'm coming for you,
you son of a bitch!

[Mickey] What the fuck, Sandy?

[Sandy] Give me
the fucking gun, Mick.

- [gunshot]
- [Ian] Oh, shit.

Ow!

- Shit!
- [Mickey shouts]

- [Mickey] Fuckin'...
- [Ian] Get the cuffs.

[Mickey struggling]

[exhales] You done?

[panting]

- [grunts]
- [Ian] No!

You gonna make me hit you
again?

- Fuck you, Gallagher!
- [Ian grunts]

- [Mickey groans]
- [Ian] Now are you done?

[panting]

Yeah. Yeah.

Shit.

♪ Peeled off all the skin ♪

♪ Around my fingernails ♪

Come on, Milo.

Push that 60.

There you go.

Gotta work off that
avocado "kumbacha" smoothie

or whatever the fuck you drink.

Jasper, are you kidding me?
Can you go slower?

Full rotations, man!

Do you want your name
under Pussy of the Day?

Is that what you want, Jasper?

Is it safe
if I park my Tesla out front?

Hell no, it ain't safe, Homer.
This is the ghetto, man.

Get in here and grab two kegs
and give me 30 curls now.

[Arlo] You Kevin?

[Kev] The fuck do you think?

Lorne sent me.

So?

[retches]

Way to go, Oscar.
Puke is pride.

I wanna join.

Uh, you take Amex?

"Amex."
Cash only!

$50 per session
up front,

plus another $40
for the T-shirt.

ATM is right there.

[rock music playing
over speakers]

You're out of spring water.

I am?

All right.
Grab a sledge.

Start working the wall.

♪♪♪

Willem!

Get off the damn phone!

If I see you on that thing
one more time,

it's going in the puke barrel.

You hear me, fat boy?

[grunting]

Harder, Milo!

Come on, man.
Get it up.

[hammer thudding,
wall rattling]

What do you have them doing
over there?

Bashin' a hole in the wall to
connect the gym to The Alibi.

[Veronica]
How long's that gonna take?

Ah, with my pasty
propeller-heads

swinging the hammers,
twins'll be grandparents first,

but I'm gonna finish
the rest myself later.

[grunts softly]

What the hell are you doing?

[Kev]
Making natural spring water.

My Keggers love to hydrate.

You don't sterilize the bottles
first or anything?

No.
Fuck those Facebook assholes.

They need the germs,
strengthen their

oat milk-drinking
immune systems.

What is oat milk?

The extra watery shit
that sits on top

when you make oatmeal.

[Kev] Hey, V,
can you get me some more

of those $2 black T-shirts
from Walmart

and cut the sleeves off?

Sure.

So this Keg Zone stuff
is actually working?

I got 20 fully paid
Keggers already.

Plus, I'm starting
an online thing

where you can do it at home.

I mean, who doesn't have
an empty keg

laying around the house, right?

- Oh, yeah. Totally.
- Sure.

All right,
we need to leave soon, babe,

pick up a couple of cases
of champagne for Ian's wedding.

Those two are really going
through with getting married?

Yes.

Why'd you say it like that?

[Tommy] I don't know.

[Veronica] Don't know what?

Uh, I mean,
it just doesn't seem right.

I don't care
who sticks what in what,

but now they gotta
get married too?

Who's "they"?

Hey, I got no problem
with the gays.

I'm just saying
that some things

are natural man-woman things.

I don't wanna walk
into the men's room

and see a chick in heels

pulling out her penis
at the urinal.

She wouldn't be
in the men's room, Tommy.

She's a woman.

You look at other men's penises
when you're at the urinal?

- That's pretty gay, Tommy.
- [Tommy] No!

Jesus.

You collect more Keg cash today

we can use
to buy the champagne?

Uh, no.
Nothing this morning.

All those waters?

I forgot to refill 'em
last night.

[Tommy] Jesus, when did
the PC police show up in here?

So a chick in heels
peed next to you?

No. It is a hypothetical
kind of discussion thing.

I thought you didn't make
any money this morning.

Hey, mind your own business,
homo hater.

Keeping a little "me" money
on the side there, Kev?

Shh!

- [Kermit clears throat]
- [Veronica] Oh, thank God

that banging stopped.

Yeah, Homer's arms
must've given out.

All right, I gotta get back

and start whuppin'
Depeche Mode-loving Gen X butt.

♪ melancholy acoustic music ♪

♪♪♪

Hey. Tami and Fred here?

- [Cami] That Lip?
- Yeah.

[Cami] You fire him yet?

- What?
- [Brad] Not yet.

[Cami] I'm serious, Brad.

Fire the prick.

- Come on, Cami.
- Cami.

You're fired, Lip.

She just went out the back.

Thank you.

[door clicks shut]

Hey!

Hey. Hey.

How's Fred?
He sleep all right?

Hey.

Tami, are we gonna talk
about this?

Sure. Yeah.

Communication is important
in a relationship.

Let's talk about this.

The same way we talked
about that house

before you went and bought it
without even asking me.

No, no, I didn't buy it,
though.

I'm renting it, right?

And we-we did.
I mean, I asked.

And I said no.

Tami.

[engine rumbling]

♪♪♪

Terry burned down the Bamboo?

Jesus.

There's homophobic,

and then there's
Vladimir Putin homophobic.

We'll just call everybody,

tell them the wedding
is postponed.

What? No!

We can figure this out.

[Ian] We should just elope,

go to the courthouse.

It's what we should've done
in the first place.

Hell no!

You can't let hate win.

[Mickey] Wake up,
Little Mary Sunshine.

Hate always wins.

Jesus, Gandhi,

Martin Luther King.

[Carl]
Pretty sure one was crucified

and the other two
were shot.

Yeah, Hitler, Freddy Krueger,
Darth Vader.

[Debbie] We still got
the flowers, the booze, the DJ,

and all that other shit, right?

Uh, yeah, but no place
to hold the wedding.

What about here?

What, in the house?

Fuck that.
How many people we got coming?

A hundred and twenty,

not counting the local lowlifes
who'll show up uninvited

to get hammered.

- The Alibi?
- It's a shithole.

I don't wanna get married where
my shoes stick to the floor.

Patsy's?

Jesus, this is getting
sadder and sadder.

Why don't we just do it

in the parking lot
across the street

from the poultry
processing plant?

How about the park? Hmm?

It's 40 degrees
and supposed to snow.

Jesus!
You two wanna help, maybe?

Yes, I wanna help.

I wanna help
by shoving the shotgun

down my dad's throat

and watching his spinal cord
burst out his fuckin' back

all over his kitchen wall!

Everyone start calling around
and find someplace

that's big enough
and can take us in a hurry.

With what money?

We spent it all on the Bamboo
and flowers and shit.

So, what,

you're just gonna let Terry
and his Nazis win?

Watch Paris burn?

Let the Berlin Wall stand?

Saigon fall?

Huh?

Is that who we are?

- Yes!
- [Debbie] No!

We're Gallaghers!

If you're gonna be
a part of this family,

you better nut up.

We're gonna white-trash
this shit.

♪ sauntering rock music ♪

♪♪♪

Hello, Father.

What do you want?

Are you coming to the wedding?

You're getting married?

I'm ten.

Ian. This afternoon.

Oh, yeah?
Good for him.

Who's the lucky lady-man?

- Mickey Milkovich.
- [scoffs]

As if your brother's gene pool

wasn't challenged enough
already.

I don't think their genes
could ever get mixed together,

biologically speaking.

- Are you coming or not?
- [Frank] Not.

Throw some rice at the happy
same-gendered couple for me,

will ya?

[Liam] He's selling the house.

Wh-who's selling what house?

Our house.
Lip.

To a couple of yuppie lawyers.

They're bringing
the money today.

Two hundred thousand bucks
in cash.

Cash?

Lip is taking
his share of the money

and moving to Milwaukee.

What about my share?

Don't think they're planning
on cutting you in.

It's my house,

not theirs.

Please! I don't wanna move.

It's the only home
I've ever known.

Of course it is, son.

Let me get dressed.

And the keys.

- Keys?
- To the Rolls or the Mercedes.

The L could take hours.

The house could be sold
before we even get there.

Why the hell not?

♪ funky music ♪

♪♪♪

[Debbie] The Gala's
all booked up.

[Ian] Same with the Dynasty.

[Carl] Castle was closed
by the health department.

Rodent infestation.

[Sandy] Korean Baptists
have a bat mitzvah

in their parish hall,

whatever the fuck that is.

What's going on?

Terry Milkovich burned down
the Bamboo Lotus.

- He what?
- [Ian] To the ground.

So now everything's getting
delivered here.

- [cell phone dings]
- [Lip] Holy shit.

Hey, Navy Pier's
got a party boat.

It's, like, 20 grand, though.

Oh, so I kite them a check.

Let the bastards come after me.

What are they gonna give me,
18 months?

- [cell phone dings]
- I can do that in my sleep.

Yeah, it's cash or credit
in advance, though.

Wh-wh--so you guys wanna
try to find someplace else

to have the wedding today?

They do; I'm just getting
shit-faced drunk.

Why is Mickey handcuffed?

- He wants to kill his dad.
- Will kill his dad.

Hey, what about that boarded-up
Ukrainian church

over on Cermak?

We could break in,
take it over.

No.
Roof caved in last winter.

[Veronica] What happened?

Went by the Bamboo.
It's a smoldering heap.

Yeah.
Dad, a fire, and no wedding.

- Gonna shoot him in the face.
- We can do it at The Alibi.

No, no!
Look, it is over.

It is over and done.

Terry fuckin' wins again,
like he always does.

Jesus Christ.

Do you remember
when we were kids?

We'd go trick-or-treating.

As soon as we got home,
who took all the candy?

Your dad.

[Mickey] Before my mom ran out,

when she still could buy us
Christmas presents,

who opened everything up,
took what he wanted,

and pawned the rest?

[Sandy] Your dad.

[Mickey]
Who-who handed us over

to Family Services for a year

so he could run drugs
for the Sinaloa cartel?

Your dad.

Look, I love you.

I love you.

The son of a bitch is never
gonna let me be happy.

He needs to die--today.

What about the Polish Doll?

Ey, asshole,
were you not listening?

We're doing
a murder thing here.

- It's that polka house, right?
- Yeah.

Old man Wójcik died,

but his wife's
running it now, I think.

Is that that 500-year-old bag

that drives around
in that orange convertible?

Yeah, the one with
the short, short skirts

and the poufy red hair.

The Polish Doll's never been
known for being gay-friendly.

They keep a Louisville Slugger
behind the bar

called the "Fag Fixer."

All right,
so we don't tell them.

You don't think they'll notice?

Not until there's a hundred
drunk wedding guests

jammed into the place.

Then what the fuck
are they gonna do about it?

They're not answering.

- [Lip] Debs, you got your car?
- Yeah.

- [Lip] Let's go.
- You guys, keep dialing.

There's gotta be
someplace else we can use.

♪♪♪

So we'll say
that you're the bride.

Can you, uh, cry

and make it look like
you wanna kill yourself?

- Totally.
- Okay.

Debbie?

[Debbie] What the hell
do you want?

Uh, my mom kicked me
out of the house,

which is your fault,
so here I am.

[Sandy] So the Polish Doll
finally picked up.

They're there right now.

Who the fuck is this?

Julia.

[Sandy chuckles]

This is Julia?

You said she was young, but...

Debs, we gotta go!

Look, you can't stay here.

Too bad.
I am.

- [Lip] Debbie!
- Go home, Julia!

[chuckles softly]
Who are you?

I'm Sandy...

her girlfriend.

She's been sleeping
with you too?

Shit, I gotta find a clinic,

get swabbed for gonorrhea.

[car horn honks distantly]

[grunting]

[yelps]

[whimpering]

[panting]

Welcome to the South Side...

[overpronouncing]
...Julia.

♪ quirky rock music ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ You want it, you got it ♪

♪ Do what you do ♪

♪ You want it, you got it ♪

♪ Do what you do ♪

♪ You unbelievable ♪

♪ It's undeniable ♪

They find someplace
we can use yet?

No.
I'm texting Tami again.

She's leaving me unread.

[exhales] Hey, you, uh-you
need me to do something,

you know, to help you cry?

- Like what?
- I don't know.

Pinch you or slap you
or something.

Frank and Monica
were my parents.

I can remember anything
from my childhood,

and...I can cry.

[sniffling]

Right.
Yeah, no. Okay.

That's good.
Come on.

[jaunty polka
playing on accordion]

♪♪♪

[emphatically]
Jesus.

♪♪♪

[bartender] You lost?

Hi. No.

Um, my sister was supposed
to get married this afternoon,

but the hall burned down.

So we are desperate
to find someplace

to hold the ceremony.

Gotta talk to the boss.

Over here? Okay.

Mrs. Wójcik?

- That's me, honey.
- Hi.

Yeah, we have
an emergency situation,

and you may be
the only person in Chicago

who can make it right.

[sobbing]

[mouths word]

♪♪♪

Yo! We got it!

- [Ian] What?
- [Sandy] No.

- [Carl] That Polish place?
- [Lip] Yep!

There is a seniors' happy hour
at 4:30.

So the DJ's gotta play
some polka,

and I had to guarantee

we'd spend at least
300 bucks at the bar.

Oh, and, uh,

Mickey might have to marry
Debbie instead of Ian.

- [Veronica] What?
- [Ian] What?

Yeah, it's definitely not
Gay Pride Day over there.

So we told Wójcik
that Debbie was the bride

and she was gonna marry a nice
Polish boy named Michael.

- [Veronica laughs]
- Yeah.

V, I need a wedding dress
in a hurry.

Do you know anyone
who's got one laying around?

Closet Diva rents
wedding dresses.

- Cool.
- Kev, come on, man.

We gotta get
these flowers, chairs,

all this shit over
to the Polish Doll.

- Can we use your truck?
- Yeah, no problem.

- [Lip] Thanks.
- Carl! Lend a hand.

- Hell yeah.
- [Lip] Thanks, bud.

- Wait. Wait.
- [Lip] What?

- Mickey's marrying Debbie?
- Yeah. Don't worry.

I'll figure out something
to do with the old bat

when we get over there,
and, uh, you know,

shit goes sideways,
Mickey marries Debbie;

we have a big
fuckin' party anyway.

Good. Okay.
So uncuff Mickey.

Get your clothes.
We only got a couple hours.

Let's fuckin' go!

Your teen stalker's up
in your room, cradle robber.

- Julia's still here?
- Uh-huh.

Asked how many days
a week the maid comes.

[scoffs]

♪ percussive rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[Frank] They're moving already?

♪♪♪

You bastards cannot
sell this house!

It's mine!

- Lip!
- [Lip] Hey, Frank.

Lip,
you cannot sell this house

without giving me my share.

- [Lip] What the fuck?
- This is my house, not yours.

I want half!
Uh, I want more than half!

Nobody's selling the house,
Frank!

Jesus.

You're not?

No.

Fuck.

You lied?

Learned at the foot
of the master.

Looks like you might've
gotten punked, punk.

- Lip.
- Yeah?

I got the perfect car
for Ian and Mickey.

Just need shaving cream,

string,
and a couple of old cans.

Is that a Mercedes?

Mm-hmm.

Outstanding.

You got game, son.

See ya.

Children want their parents
at their weddings.

You'll probably
not be alive for mine.

We don't ask much of you.

Least you can do is bother
to show up when we get married.

[inhales]

Nice try, kid.

[footsteps receding]

[footsteps approaching]

[sighs]

Took the keys
to the Mercedes, didn't you?

You gonna give 'em back to me?

Not until after the wedding.

You can't stay here, Julia!

I'm taking half the drawers.
I put your crap over there.

We need to go buy
a bunch of shit

before my mom cancels my Amex.

What happened to your face?

Your skanky side piece
coldcocked me.

Really?

Yes.

She in on it too?

- In on what?
- Your hustle.

Now, how much were you able
to milk my mom for?

Ten grand? Twenty?

I didn't hustle your mom.

I liked her.
She was good to me.

I'm glad she was good
to somebody.

Oh.

What do you think?

For what?

The wedding.
I'm coming.

No, you're not, Julia!

Ghetto wedding?
Wouldn't miss it.

Gonna light up
my Instagram likes.

- [cell phone ringing]
- Oh, look.

There's Mommy Dearest now.

All is forgiven, I bet.

[sighs] Hi, Mom.

Yup.

No.

No, I'm not coming home.

Ever.

No. Apology not accepted.

Yes, I'm serious.

I'm at Debbie's.

[Claudia yelling indistinctly]

Yeah.

Her tongue is two inches deep
into my vagina right now--

No, no! No, it isn't,
Claudia.

[moaning]

- Oh, that feels so good!
- God damn it.

- Give me the phone, Julia!
- [Julia laughing]

- She's lying!
- Ah, gotta go.

Fuck you, Mom!

[shouting] What the hell
is wrong with you?

Which side of the bed
do you want?

I prefer the right.

Closest to
the mildewy bathroom.

You want kids?

Hell no.

With your mental problems

and my family's comfort
with committing homicides?

You end up marrying Debbie,
could knock out a couple.

We could raise 'em together.

You want me banging
your little sister?

Yeah, probably be
too weird.

Yeah, you think?

I wouldn't mind
a kid or two, though.

Well, there's plenty of strays

wandering around
the neighborhood.

I'm sure we can pick one up
for cheap.

Wow.

You're an ugly motherfucker.

Yeah, well, at least I don't
have to hide in a coffin

till the sun goes down.

[chuckles]

You ready to do this,
Milkovich?

Damn straight, Gallagher.

[dance music playing
over speakers]

- [Kev] Phillip!
- [Lip] Hey!

I got a bunch
of these candle things.

- Where do you want 'em?
- Uh, yeah.

Put 'em up on the stage
and then, uh,

maybe some on the bar too.

- [Veronica] Hey.
- [Lip] Hey.

Got a dress.
Where's Debbie?

The bride is in the kitchen.

Babe, clothes.

Where do you want
this cake?

Uh, you can put it
on the table right there.

Thank you.

- [Mickey] Jesus.
- Hey.

This place is a shithole.

- And not in a good way
- No, no, no, no.

It's gonna look a lot better
when we turn off the overheads

and light some of the candles;
be good.

Yeah, sure, long as
our guests are also blind.

Which one of you is the groom?

Ah, Mrs. Wójcik.

Uh, this is the groom, uh,

Michael Milkovich,

and, uh, his best man,
Ian Gallagher.

speaking Polish

Uh, it's nice to meet you too.

I don't speak
that Polish shit--

Ah, nice to meet you.
It is such a pleasure.

- We're charmed.
- Hey, hey.

Guests are arriving.

Okay.
Pleasure.

Hey, what's up, queens?

You finally gonna tie the knot,
or what?

Hey, uh, Mrs. Wójcik,

can I ask you
to do us a really big favor?

See, my sister,
she's freaking out.

I think she's having
second thoughts.

- About getting married?
- Yeah.

You know, it's been
a really emotional day,

you know, with the fire, and...

our mother is no longer alive.

Do you think
you could talk to her?

You know, I think
a-a few words from you

could really
make the difference.

Where is she?

She's just here,
just in the kitchen.

Thank you so much.

[man] Where's the rest
of the chairs?

Chiavari chairs look nice.

Yeah.

Like how the gold
catches the light.

♪ gentle acoustic music ♪

♪♪♪

[Liam] Yeah.
Park right here.

[Frank] The wedding's
at the Polish Doll?

Yeah, no,
this is not gonna work.

[car door slams]

- You coming?
- Sorry.

No can do, my friend.

The chick that owns
this place hates me.

Tried to stab me
more than once.

What'd you do to her?

Many, many things.
All consensual.

Although we were both
often inebriated.

It was great fun
until her husband, Rudy,

returned unexpectedly
from his mother's funeral

in the old country,
and then...

How long ago was this?

Years.
Decades, actually.

[scoffs]

She probably
won't even remember.

- [sighs]
- [Liam] Come on.

[car door slams]

She'll remember, all right.

Ugh. My God.
I look like a snow cone.

How do I sit down
in this thing?

You don't.

- [exhales]
- Oh, my goodness.

My little Debbie's
getting married.

- [chuckles]
- [footsteps approaching]

- [Sandy] Here she comes.
- How much time do we need?

Forty-five minutes.

- [Debbie] Got it.
- Yeah? Okay.

Better hydrate.

[exhales deeply]

[Lip] Debbie?

Debs?

[wailing] Go away, Phillip!

Oh, please come out.
The guests are arriving.

- So come on.
- No! No!

- [sobs] No! I can't do it.
- Oh!

- speaking Polish
- [Debbie] I can't. No!

[Mrs. Wójcik] I know.
I know it's scary.

No bride should have
to go through this

without their mother.

It's so scary.

You see her?

What does she look like?

Big hair.
Big tits.

Scary.

No.
Maybe she's not here.

If she is, I'm gonna
hold you in front of me

as a human shield.

Woman is quick with a blade.

Here.

Hey, Kev. Kev.
Guard that door.

That polka lady tries
to come out of the kitchen,

don't let her.

"Don't let her" how?

I don't know.
Tackle her. Punch her.

I don't give a shit.

- You gonna sit, sweetheart?
- I can't.

I gotta punch an old lady.

[romantic music
playing over speakers]

Those the Gay Jesus groupies?

Oh, yeah.
Ian said they might be coming.

- Hey, man. What's up?
- Hey, Geneva.

[Geneva] All right.
Rainbow Squad, take the back.

The rest of you,
with me out front.

Let's go.

See ya.

Jesus.
Debbie know you're coming?

She got down on her hands
and knees and begged me.

Where is she?

[man] What's this shit?

- What the fuck?
- [tires squealing]

What's this asshole up to?

[engine revving]

The hell you doing, Jamie?

You little shit!

♪ rock music ♪

♪♪♪

Jamie, you come back here!

- No!
- You little shit!

[Jamie grunts]

- What were you doing, asshole?
- Come on, Uncle Terry.

- What?
- Let me go, m--[grunts]

What were you telling that car?

[Jamie] Sandy.

- [shouts]
- What about Sandy?

She told me to stand out there,
tell anyone who showed up

where we moved Mick's wedding
'cause of the fire.

Where?
Where'd they move it to?

That-that polka place.

Th-the-the Polish Doll.

[acoustic pop music
playing over speakers]

♪ On my heart where
you're resting your head ♪

♪ And you just look
so beautiful ♪

♪ It's like you were
an angel ♪

♪ Can I stop
the flow of time? ♪

♪ Can I swim
in your divine... ♪

- [exhales]
- Hey. She came.

- What? Who did?
- Tami.

Uh, that was in question?

Eh.
Could've gone either way.

What'd you do this time?

Fuck off.
[chuckles]

You ready?

[Ian]
Yeah. [clears throat]

[romantic music
playing over speakers]

♪♪♪

You choose this shit?

Absolutely.

- You soft motherfucker.
- You know it.

- [Lip] I love you.
- [Ian] I love you too, man.

- ♪ At last ♪
- You good?

♪♪♪

♪ My love has come along ♪

♪♪♪

♪ My lonely days ♪

♪ Are over ♪

♪♪♪

♪ And life is like a song ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ At last ♪

♪♪♪

♪ The skies above are blue ♪

♪♪♪

♪ My heart ♪

♪ Was wrapped up
in clover ♪

♪♪♪

♪ The night I looked at you ♪

♪♪♪

[Reverend Sally]
Dearly beloved,

we have gathered here today
to witness and bless

the joining together
of these two men

in holy matrimony.

Ian, will you take this man
to be your husband?

Will you love him...

Mickey's not marrying
that ginger fuck today.

[Gay Jesus disciples]
♪ We shall overcome ♪

- [Terry] Oh, what the hell?
- ♪ Someday ♪

- Fuckin' hippie homos.
- [man] Jesus.

- Look at all these lesbos.
- ♪ We are not afraid ♪

[Terry] And fairies.

Kumbaya, bitch!

♪ We are not afraid ♪

♪ We are not afraid
today ♪

[disciples gasp]

♪ We are not afraid ♪

- ♪ Today ♪
- Go!

[man] What do you
want me to do?

[Geneva]
We'll walk hand in hand!

Drive, fuckhead!
I can't shoot 'em all.

♪ We'll walk hand in hand ♪

♪ We'll walk
hand in hand ♪

♪ Someday ♪

- [exhales happily]
- [man] Amen!

- [woman] Yes!
- [man] All right!

- [woman] Love wins!
- [man] Yeah!

I, Mikhailo,
take you, Ian,

to be my husband,

to have and to hold

from this day forward,

for better or worse,

for richer,
for poorer...

♪ Mornin' flowers,
they swayed... ♪

[Mickey]
...in sickness and in health...

♪ ...early breeze... ♪

...to love
and to cherish you...

till death do us part.

♪ Waking eyes of the field
underneath the trees... ♪

I, Ian,

take you, Mickey,

to be my husband...

♪ Don't be long... ♪

...to have and to hold you
from this day forward,

for better or for worse,

richer or poorer...

♪ Sick of hurrying... ♪

...in sickness and in health.

♪ And I know
they're wrong ♪

...to love and to cherish you

till death do us part.

[Reverend Sally]
Now that Mikhailo and Ian

have given themselves
to each other,

with these vows

and the giving
and receiving of rings,

I now pronounce you...

husband and husband.

- Now?
- [Reverend Sally] Yes, now.

- [cheers and applause]
- ♪ Mornin' flowers ♪

♪ Tell you many secrets ♪

♪ In those early hours ♪

♪ See you tomorrow ♪

♪ My mornin' flowers ♪

♪♪♪

[cheers and applause continue]

♪ Halle...lujah ♪

♪ I'm still here,
still bringin' it to ya ♪

♪ Ohm, like
Buddha ♪

♪ Good girls know
how to get hard too, yeah ♪

♪ I'm all done up
in my Sunday best ♪

♪ No walk of shame,
'cause I love this dress ♪

♪ Hungover, heart of gold,
Holy mess ♪

♪ Doin' my best ♪

- Oh, okay.
- [muffled cheers and music]

Hey, I gotta go now.

You're ready
for the wedding now?

The wedding?
Oh, I think we missed it.

♪♪♪

[dance music playing
over speakers]

♪♪♪

♪ Crazy... ♪

[Zuzanna]
Wh-what the hell's going on?

Well, that-that homo
married that other homo.

What?

Selling lots of booze, though.

♪ If it were a joke ♪

♪ I'm afraid that ♪

♪ We finally broke ♪

♪ It's true ♪

♪ Why can't you unwind? ♪

♪ I do... ♪

[pleasantly]
Hey.

Zuzzy, how you been?

Don't you fuckin' "Zuzzy" me,
Gallagher!

Mm.

[both chuckle]

[both moaning]

♪ It's coming apart ♪

♪♪♪

♪ It's coming apart... ♪

- [Carl] What's up, buddy?
- [Liam] Frank.

♪♪♪

You look underaged
and thirsty.

Thanks.

♪♪♪

If you're thinking about
jumping Sandy, I wouldn't.

She did time for assault.

Juvie, but the guy's
still slurping meals

through a straw.

Um, I'm not gay.

- You're not?
- No.

Just experimented a bit,
but it's not really my thing.

So what is your thing?

Toys and porn.

I like toys.

♪♪♪

Okay.

Let's play.

♪ It's coming apart ♪

♪♪♪

♪ It's coming apart ♪

♪♪♪

[Kev] I mean, sometimes
I wish I was gay, you know.

Sure, yeah.

[Kev] Marry your best friend.

Blow jobs.
Make each other sandwiches--

[Veronica] Kevin!

- Thank you for inviting me.
- Thank you for coming.

- It was so beautiful.
- Appreciate that.

And you. Congratulations.

I love you guys.

♪ With somebody who loves me ♪

Be right back.

♪♪♪

♪ I've been in love
and lost my senses ♪

♪ Spinning through
the town... ♪

Why are you hiding
that money?

♪ The fever ends ♪

♪ And I wind up
feeling down... ♪

What money?

The money you're hiding
under the bar.

I love this song.
Let's dance.

- You wanna dance?
- $800?

We promised never to keep
secrets from each other, Kevin.

- Why?
- Why what?

Why did we promise not to keep
secrets from each other?

Because not all secrets
are bad.

Some secrets are good.

You've been acting
so strange.

Is this-is this more
of your midlife crisis?

No.

Are you seeing someone?

Another woman?
Having an affair?

No.
Of course not.

Then what?
Why the money?

[sighs] I-it's gone, okay?
I spent it all.

On what?

Oh, my God!

Snoopy Mary!

Way to ruin a surprise!

♪♪♪

I wanted to give you with,
like, you know, romantic music,

I don't know, candles,
maybe a little wine.

Oh, my gosh.

Cost me more
than what I had,

but I figured, with Keg Zone,
I'd make enough

and I could pay
the rest off later.

You like it?

♪ ...somebody who... ♪

Ask me.

♪ ...to hold me
in his arms... ♪

Ask me, fool!

- Veronica Fisher, w--
- On your knees.

Oh.

♪ ...love that burns
hot enough to last... ♪

Veronica Fisher,

will you marry me?

I mean, I gotta find my ex
and get a divorce--

Yes!

- [chuckles]
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!

[laughs]

♪ I wanna feel the heat
with somebody ♪

[muffled music]

Tami.

Hey.

Hey.

[softly] Hi.

[Fred coos]

Thanks for coming.

I love Ian.

[Lip] Yeah, it was a-it was
a beautiful ceremony, huh?

Will you just...

come look inside
the house with me?

You know,
it's got-it's got two beds,

bath, big backyard.

I don't need to look inside.

Well, I'm not moving
to Milwaukee.

I told you that.

So don't.

Wh-wh-what does that mean?

Fred and I are going.

If you don't wanna
come with us,

you don't have to.

You're gonna take Fred?

It's a two-hour train ride.

Come and visit us

whenever you can tear yourself
away from your family.

Tami, c-c-c-can't we talk
about this or something?

No. No, Lip,
because I don't want

your life, okay?

I wanted us to create
a life together.

- That's-that's...
- Yeah. A life for you...

...that's what I want too!

...and me and Fred,
and then you just went out

and did whatever
the fuck you wanted to

- without thinking about us.
- I was thinking about you.

- That's all I was doing.
- How am I ever supposed

- to trust you again?
- You can trust me.

- No, I can't, okay?
- Hey, you're not taking Fred!

♪♪♪

I'm his mother.

I've got a house and a job.

So...

really wanna take this
to court?

You fucking serious?

Y-you're gonna take Fred

to punish me
for not wanting to move?

No, Lip,
I'm not punishing you!

- Get the fuck outta here!
- Jesus!

We're supposed to be
in a relationship!

That means that we make
important decisions together.

All right! You want me
to move to fucking Milwaukee?

I'll move to Milwaukee,
all right?

I'll hate it, but if
that's what Tami wants...

You know what?
You're an asshole.

...that's what Tami gets,
right?

You're an asshole.

- I'm an asshole?
- Fuck you!

You're the one trying
to take away my kid!

No! Our kid, Lip.
He is our kid!

[Fred crying]

Shit.

[crying continues]

Come here.

It's okay.

[shushing]

[crying continues]

- [shushing]
- [Lip murmuring]

I'm so sorry.

[both murmuring soothingly]

♪♪♪

Don't do this, please.

Let's just stop lying
to each other.

Okay?

You love your fucked-up family

more than
you're ever gonna love me.

That's not true.

That's not true.

Yeah, it is.

[shushing]

You should get back
inside there.

Sounds like you're missing
a fun time.

- Oh, I got--I can help.
- I got it.

No.

[soothingly] Hey.
Hey.

I got you.

All right.

♪ Even brighter
than the moon, moon, moon ♪

♪ It's always been inside
of you, you, you ♪

♪ And now it's time
to let it through ♪

♪ 'Cause, baby,
you're a firework ♪

♪ Come on,
show 'em what you're worth ♪

♪ Make 'em go ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ As you shoot
across the sky-y-y ♪

- Nice dress.
- ♪ You're a firework ♪

Thank you. [laughs]

♪ Come on,
let your colors... ♪

Is that Frank making out
with that Polish polka lady?

♪ Make 'em go ah, ah, ah ♪

[Debbie] Yeah. Wow.

♪ ...goin' ah, ah, ah ♪

- ♪ Boom, boom, boom ♪
- I miss Mom.

♪ Even brighter
than the moon... ♪

Yeah.

♪ Boom, boom, boom... ♪

Monica would've loved today.

♪ ...moon, moon, moon ♪

[people cheering]

♪ I found a love ♪

♪ For me ♪

I should probably go dance
with my husband.

♪ Darlin',
just dive right in ♪

Go.

♪ Follow my lead ♪

♪ I found a girl ♪

♪ Beautiful and sweet ♪

♪ I never knew you were
the someone ♪

♪ Waiting for me ♪

Come on.

♪ 'Cause we were just kids ♪

♪ When we fell in love ♪

♪ Not knowing what it was ♪

♪ I will not give you up ♪

♪ This time ♪

♪ Darling, just kiss me slow ♪

♪ Your heart is all I own ♪

♪ And in your eyes,
you're holding... ♪

- Can I get a Coke?
- [bartender] Yeah, sure.

♪♪♪

♪ Baby, I'm... ♪

Yeah.

You like some rum in that?

Sure.

♪ With you between my arms ♪

♪ Barefoot on the grass ♪

Thanks.

♪ Listening to
our favorite song ♪

♪ When you said
you looked a mess... ♪

[Debbie] Listen up, everyone!

I'm the closest thing
to a bride we've got.

- So I'm throwin' the bouquet!
- [people cheering]

[Debbie]
Line up, single losers!

♪ You look perfect tonight ♪

[woman] Right here!
Right here, Deb!

♪♪♪

[people cheering]

♪ Well, I found a woman ♪

♪ Stronger than
anyone I know... ♪

Can I get another?

- [bartender] Sure.
- Thanks.

♪ I'll share her home ♪

♪ I found a love ♪

♪♪♪

♪ To carry more
than just my secrets ♪

♪ To carry love ♪

♪ To carry children ♪

♪ Of our own ♪

♪ We are still kids,
but we're so in love ♪

♪ Fighting against
all odds ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ I know we'll be all right ♪

♪ This time ♪

♪ I don't deserve this ♪

♪ You look perfect ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪♪♪

[horn honks]

[chuckles]

I'm gonna need that car back
eventually.

Are those hickies?

Yeah.

Woman's a wildcat.

It's a myth

about the female libido
declining with age.

They get hornier.

I'll keep that in mind.

Zuzanna doesn't hate gays.

It's her husband, Rudy.

Turns out,
Rudy's gayer than Liberace.

She found boxes
of mano a mano porn

after he died.

The old Polish bastard
was a raging gay homophobe.

Aren't all homophobes gay?

Probably so, son.

Probably so.

♪ melancholy music ♪

♪♪♪

[doorbell rings]

I need to find a meeting.

Come with me?

Sure.

Let me grab my coat.

♪♪♪

[pounding on door]

What is it?

[pounding on door]

[Carl] Shit.
I think it's the cops.

[pounding on door]

[pounding on door]

- What's with all the banging?
- Cops, maybe.

Ugh.
What did Frank do now?

- Deborah Gallagher?
- Uh, no.

We have an arrest warrant
for Deborah Gallagher.

No shit.
What for?

Statutory rape of a minor.
Julia Nicolo?

Fuck.

♪ funky music ♪

We got a runner!

♪♪♪

Uh, what's going on?

When's your 18th birthday?

♪ Wow, uh-huh ♪

♪ It's too good,
the secret is out, and wow ♪

♪ Uh-huh... ♪

Stop! Police!

♪ So word of mouth
and wow ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ So cool,
it's the talk of the town ♪

♪ And wow, uh-huh ♪

♪ Listen up 'cause
I'll break it down now ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Wow ♪

- [plaster cracking]
- [Tami] Jesus.

Needs some work.

[sniffles]

Yeah.
No shit.

[exhales]

Two bedrooms?

Yeah.

One bathroom.

Two-car garage.

You got another mask?

♪ hopeful music ♪

Yeah.
Absolutely.

♪♪♪

Hope my tetanus
is up-to-date.

♪ music brightens ♪

♪♪♪

No? Oh.

♪ I know you got rights ♪

♪ That's not very hard ♪

♪ You tell me
all the time... ♪

♪♪♪

[Lip] Whoo!

[laughs]

♪ Writing in the dark ♪

♪ Shouting at the blind ♪

♪ Oh!
Wake up, wake up ♪

♪ Why are you
not hearin' me? ♪

♪ Wake up, wake up ♪

♪ Why are you
not hearin' me? ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ You're wasting time ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ You're wasting time ♪

[both exhale]

Good morning, Mr. Gallavich.

Good morning, Mr...

- Millagher?
- [both laugh]

You hungry?

Hmm.

Not really.

Hmm.

You wanna go again?

Absolutely.

[tires screeching]

Ah, shit!

- [Ian] Oh!
- [gunfire]

[tires squealing]

[both exhale]

I think your dad might still
be a little upset.

♪ I got a head full of dreams
you can play with ♪

♪ I got a heart full of love,
you can take it ♪

♪ I got it all,
I'm not lookin' to trade it ♪

♪ I give it all to you ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Perfect day, perfect day ♪

- [whistling]
- ♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Perfect day, perfect day ♪

- [whistling]
- ♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪♪♪

- ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
- ♪ Perfect day ♪