Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - Die We Must - full transcript

SEBASTIAN: Pick Up, pick Up, pick Up...
VOlCEMAIL: The person you are calling

is unable to take your call. Please
leave a message after the tone.

Lu. It's me. Again.

Why aren't you or Frank
answering your phones?

I know he might have lost his,
or forgotten to charge it.

Thrown it at someone.

But not you.

Um... Anyway, I am
very, very worried.

Call me.

[PHONE DIALS]

WOMAN: Emergency,
which service?



Hello.

I 'd like to
report a kidnapping.

LU: They've run out of decaf?

[FRANK SNORES LIGHTLY ]- Oh, we
could do with the caffeine, anyway.

Put an extra shot in Frank's.

[SHE CHUCKLES ]OK.

Thanks, Sebastian.
Bye-bye. Bye! Bye.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Frank!

Uh!
- LU: Frank!

[SHE WHISPERS:] There 's knocking at the
door and it sounds like an unpaid debt.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

I don't think so.
Subtle differences.

[HE GIRLS GIGGLE ROANS]



Alright, I'm coming!

Sorry to bother you, but
are you Frank Hathaway?

Who 's asking?

Me.

Well, my boss.

And who 's your boss?

Uh...

I can't really say.

What's the case?

Uh...

I can't really say. But
you need to come with me.

Uh, where to?

Uh, don't tell me.

You can't really
say. [HE CHUCKLES]

Well, this has
been... enlightening.

You ' d better come in.

Come on.

I'm not supposed to tell you this.
My boss is a very private man.

He 's this author.

Greg Alban?

Greg Alban?

As in the world-famous science fiction
writer who wrote my favourite book ever?

That's amazing, Frank. I didn't
know you ' d read a book.

[HE GIRLS GIGGLE ROANS]

I've read the whole of
the Equinox Nine series.

[HE CHUCKLES] The last
one 's out this year...

isn't it?

Yeah.

There 's been a problem.

But you can't say.

There 's been a break-in.

But he doesn't want
to involve the police.

Can you come?

Now?

I don't think so, we...
- FRANK: Uh...

You know the sound
of the unpaid debt?

If we don't take this case, you
're gonna hear it again. Soon.

OK, fine.

[FRANK CHUCKLES] We
'Il take the case!

Lead the way!

Oh, come on, Greg!

FRANK: Hiya.
- SEBASTIAN: Hello.

Hey, we ' re off to see
a man called Greg Alban.

And if we 're not back in a couple
of hours, will you call the police?

Oh, ha ha. No? Not joking. Right.
- Yeah.

Sorry, I 'Il need
to take your phones.

What?

Greg 's a very private man. He
doesn't want you tracking the journey.

FRAN K: Famously reclusive.
It's, um, legit.

I mean, I am gonna need...

It's not like he asked us to put a
bag over our head or something is it?

[MAN LAUGHS] Yeah. I
talked him out of that.

LU: Oh! Thank you.

Wow!

So, he 's sold a few books
then. What' s the appeal?

It's this dystopian, futuristic drama
about warring families and power.

No, still don't get it.

I got them. But I had to say who I
work for and a bit about the case.

I'm sure Greg will understand.

I'm Don, Greg 's
executive assistant.

Uh, just to warn you, his
bark's worse than his bite.

Oh.

[GIRLS GIGGLE REG:] If that's more do-gooding
charity freeloaders, tell ' em to get lost!

His bark does sounds quite bad.

Oh, can I have my
phone back please?

Sorry. Boss doesn't do phones.

What? Why?

If you 'd read any of my
books, you 'd know that one day

technology will betray you.

Yeah, like when Prince
Haldameer's battle plans

are given to Pergitran
on that data coin.

Greg, these are the private
detectives you requested.

Yeah, Frank Hathaway.
Big fan. Huge fan.

My fans are crazy.

Check my mailbox.

Greg, could we be more
polite to our guests?

Unbidden guests!

Why was I not informed?

Do they require tea?

Yes, they do. Thank you.

No time for tea! Quit
yabbering and get up here.

Dumb Brits and their
obsession with tea...

Come along.

[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT] Wow.

Scary warrior statue.
Every home should have one.

[DOOR CREAKS]

Oh, Mr Alban? I have some
accounts for you to authorise...

[GIRLS GIGGLE REG]
[GIRLS GIGGLE ROWLS]

DON: Not now, Max.

Oh, outsiders.

Guests, Max. They're
called guests.

[SHE WH ISPERS: ]I don't think
they get many visitors.

So, Mr Alban. You've had
some sort of break-in?

Who said that?

Carl! Get in here now!

No, actually, I saw a
broken window out the front

when I came in and I just
put two and two together.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

Yes, boss!
- Nothing. Get out!

Yes, boss.

There was a break-in.

Someone stole my final
chapter from my final book.

When did this happen?

Around 2am this morning.

I was at my desk sleeping

when I heard a crash of glass.

It was from the bedroom. So...

I grabbed my sword...

and I went in there.

And if there had
been an intruder

I was gonna slice them in half!

Follow me.

So, I come in, find someone
's smashed the window

taken the manuscript

and left a note.

Right, so we 're looking for a
manuscript, presumably about 20 pages?

DON: Don't ask me!

I've not been allowed to
read this final chapter.

It's way beyond my pay grade.

Twelve pages.

With " Earth and
Dust" on the top.

I wrote it years ago when
I wrote my first book.

It's where the whole Equinox
Nine series is heading.

And if it's found
on the internet...

[HE YELLS AGGRESSIVELY]

Spoilers, lost sales.

Hence the ransom note.

Right. [SHE CLEARS HER THROAT]

So, bank number, which presumably is some
kind of untraceable offshore account.

"You have 48 hours.

For the safe return
of the manuscript...

five million pounds"!

Oh no, so... this
is for the police.

You think I want the cops crawling
around with their squawking radios and...

smartphones?

Greg is a very private man.

This is why we hired you.

One of you, I believe, is
an ex-police detective?

Uh...

Yeah, that's me.

[FRANK CHUCKLES]

Oh! Ex-copper and Pl.

Two for the price of one.

Um... [HE CLEARS HIS THROAT]

Speaking of price, uh...

our fee... it's, um...

Find the manuscript and you
get one per cent of 5 mill.

50K? 50K. Well, we
can work with that.

If it ends up online and you haven't found it,
you don't get a dime.

Well, shouldn't
be too hard then.

Because it's almost certainly
still in this house.

What?

No one actually broke in.

See, it rained last night.

And with a garden below,
there 'd be footmarks.

I don't see any.

The fans know about the final chapter
but they don't know where it was kept.

Or which window was the closest.

Thieves aren't that lucky.
I think it's an inside job.

Someone in my house...

stole from me!

Lock the doors!

No one gets in.

No one goes out till the
thief is exposed and...

spit-roasted!
[SWORD SWISHES]

OK, Greg.

Calm.

Rest.

Give us a minute will you?

Yeah.
- Yeah.

Hello, Lu. It's Sebastian. Just
checking in that you're OK.

You're not answering your phone
which is making me extremely worried

although I did drink all three
coffees [- BARISTA:]Cappuccino?

Which I realise was
a mistake.[ HE MOUTHS]

And this " Greg Alban ", the only
one I can find is some sci-fi author

who writes books that attract
rather a lot of tragic fanboys.

Call me back? Please?

[PHONE DIALS]

DS Keeler.

They've gone missing! They got
into a posh car with a tall man

and now I just don't
know where they are.

Wait. Who is this? How
did you get my number?

It's Sebastian! Shakespeare and
Hathaway Private Investigators.

They're not answering
their phones.

Frank has got a smart phone,
It's probably too smart for him.

That is not fair... really.

Anyway, Lu is very tech savvy
and she always answers...

Listen, I investigate murders.

Hang up and call
missing persons.

And then you 'Il investigate?

Yes.

Wonderful.
- If they've been murdered.

What?

[HE SIGHS]

Search the desk.

You do it!

I can't. There
might be spoilers.

Spoilers are the last thing
you need to be scared of.

What you should be worried about is
sword-wielding psychos. Let' s just go!

Oh!

He 's resting, poor man.

My colleague is quite concerned about Mr
Alban 's potentially violent behaviour.

Yeah, look, I'm not usually one
to go big on health and safety

it's just that your boss does seem to
enjoy shouting and waving his weapon about.

He does.

I knew this was a bad idea.

I 'Il get Carl to drop you back
and we ' Il forget the whole thing.

No, hang on! No. Uh...

What will you do without us?

I don't know. Pay the ransom,
probably. Greg can afford it.

What, five million
pounds, just like that?

Oh, he 'Il make three times
that when the book' s published

and then the problem disappears.

Well, you obviously know
Greg better than I...

Oh! "Better than me."

Not " better than I.
" The indirect object.

Didn't they teach you
grammar at school?

No. Uh, but the point
I was trying to make is

that Greg doesn't seem like
the type to pay a ransom.

That's a good point.

We shall see.

Carl, can you get the car ready?

Our guests aren't staying.

Yes, we are! We've
gotta take the case.

Look, Frank, I know
you're a fan...

It's not just that. Fifty grand to
find a manuscript in this house?

Huh? Come on, admit
it. You're curious.

OK, I am a bit.

Alright, we ' Il do it.

But only if I don't have
to be in a room with Greg.

Ah!

We 'Il take the case!

I was a lowly writers'
assistant in Hollywood

working on a low budget
science-fiction TV show.

When Greg moved on to write his first
Equinox Nine book, I went with him.

So where were you at two
o ' clock last night?

Working. As usual.

Trying to hit publishing
deadlines for the final book.

When I heard the
scream, I came running.

As did Carl and Deirdre.

Oh, is that the housekeeper?

And cook.

Then came Max, our accountant.

He didn't arrive quite so fast.

So, do you suspect him?

No!

You're the one who thinks
it' s an inside job.

Greg mentioned fan-mail.
Could we have a look at some?

I wouldn't recommend
it, but yes.

And then I can introduce you to the wonderful
world of Mad Max Moore along the way.

Ooh!

[CHURCH BELLS PEALLOUDLY]

Viola? I know it's your day off and you
need time away from work to relax and...

ring incredibly loud bells.

But I'm really worried
about Frank and Lu and...

the, uh... [HE MUTTERS]

I 'Il wait till
you're finished.

[BELLS CONTINUE]

So, you 're-you 're managing Greg
's millions without a computer?

I had to have a spreadsheet
just to run a hair salon.

[THEY CHUCKLE]

On the City of London trading floors
there was no time to write anything down.

You learn to keep
it all... up here.

Right.
- MAX: You have to keep records.

And this system has its strengths.
It can't be manipulated.

What, like the stock market?

Quite so.

Or hacked, like Prince
Pergitran 's Eagle Three.

Prince Pergi-what what?

Oh. Book two, The Twain Divide.

The emperor' s got this brand new fleet,
right, and it's knocked out by this cyberbug.

All except Eagle Three, ah! Which
runs purely on old-school tech.

Oh, I love that bit.

Yeah. So, um, at the time of
the break-in, where were you?

We 're pretty sure
it's an inside job.

Oh.

This is a lamentable thing.

Are you sure?

Greg has so many enemies.
What about the death threat?

Death threat? Don
didn't mention that.

That's why he hired Carl.

But you 'd have to
ask him about that.

And at the time of the
break-in, you were...?

[HE SIGHS] I 'd love
to be able to say

that I was burning
the midnight oil

but I was asleep...

in my room.

In the attic.

[GIRLS GIGGLE REG
SHOUTS:] Max! Max!

Get in here!

Oh! I-I really have to go.

LU: Wow.

We should run some background
checks on these people.

I'm gonna give
Sebastian a call, and...

I can't! We ' re not allowed
our phones. This is madness.

Right, I'm gonna find them.

Another cushy afternoon
for Sebastian.

[CHU RCHBELLS FADE]

Hi.

[SHE GASPS -] Did
you get my message?

No! Are you coming to join
the bell ringing team?

Oh, we 'Il have you working
off the peal boards in no time.

Sorry, that sounds fascinating,
but I need your help.

Frank and Lu have gone missing, I've
reported it but nothing 's happening.

What's happened?

They got into a posh car with a man
who looked like a member of the mafia.

Do they operate in
Stratford-upon-Avon?

How many coffees have you had?

This was my fourth. It
probably hasn't helped.

OK, right. Let' s just
establish the facts.

Did they say where
they was going?

To see someone
called Greg Alban.

Greg Alban?

Yes.
- Seriously?

Yes.

You see the thing is,
Carl, I can't do my job.

Or literally anything
without my phone.

No phones. Boss' s orders.

OK.

Could I make a call outside?

In theory.

What does " in theory" mean?

I can't let you go outside.

No one comes in.
No one goes out.

Boss' s orders.

Wh...
- We don't...

We... [SHE SIGHS]

We don't need our phones.

We can crack this case
using only our wits.

So, you were hired because of a
death threat? Could we see it?

Greg burned it. With a load of
hate mail, and begging letters.

Why didn't he just
take it to the police?

Oh, I can answer that. Because
Greg is "a very private man."

[HE CLICKS HIS FlNGERS] Yeah.

All 's I know is I was hired
to look after this place.

And the time of the apparent
break-in you were... what, sleeping?

You think break-ins only happen
during office hours, do you?

Oh, give him a break, Frank!

He 's got to sleep some point,
hasn't he? He 's not a vampire.

Unlike some of the
people in this house.

Look...

I know Mr Alban comes across as

you know...

Psychotic?

Yeah. No.

He 's not like that.

Not when you get to know him.

[GIRLS GIGGLE REG
SHOUTS:] Get out!

Get out, you snivelling
low-life worm!

There 's no way in hell
I'm paying five mill

to some Judas or Jezebel
that betrayed me!

You were saying?

Well, he 's been good to me.

He ' s given me an honest job.

Oh, did you used to
have a dishonest one?

No! Stop trying to trap me.

I was in the army.

But when I left, I didn't
have anywhere to go.

And now you live in a
millionaire 's house.

Must be tempting, eh, what, to grab
one of those valuables and run?

Or wait for the
big one? Five mill?

Ha!

Well, if you did,
it didn't work.

Mr Alban 's not paying.

[GONG CLANGS] [- HE GASPS]

What is that?

That is a Japanese gong.

Greg ' s books draw on
oriental hon our systems

and that sound, that sound
has social, almost...

spiritual connotations.

Uh, no.

That gong just
means it's tea-time.

There might be cake.

No, I'm staying
to find my phone.

But I will have cake.
If there 's cake.

All the fan sites say Greg
Alban lives around here.

OK, I'm a fan.

He 's a recluse, but he has
been sighted out a few times.

Oh! Where 's that?

Maybe we can work out where he
lives from pictures like this?

Well, it's worth a go. But
it' Il take you a while.

Let' s get back to the office. We
can get more coffee on the way!

Uh, no, I think
you've had enough.

[DEI RDRE: ]Oh. Our unbidden
guests are still here.

Will you need beds
for the night?

Oh, we might actually, yeah. I mean,
although we haven't packed anything.

I can lend your colleague
a nightie. And some soap.

You can borrow a pair of Greg 's
pyjamas. Don't tell him, though.

I ' Il have this in the
hall. I need to keep watch.

I see your lean and hungry look.

This is for Greg.

But it's made of mushrooms.

I don't image him being
into this sort of stuff.

I have to make sure he
gets a lot more Vitamin D.

To make up for the
lack of sunlight.

Less sugar and he
'Il sleep better.

He 's normally up
working till 5am.

5am?

But he was asleep at 2 o ' clock this morning
at the time of the so-called break-in?

Exhaustion, probably.

I have to get this to him before he
turns into an angry hive of bees.

[GIRLS GIGGLE REG SHOUTS:]
Deirdre! Where is my dinner?

Too late. Sounds like a hornet's nest.
- Hm!

[LU SIGHS] I can't
find our phones.

You should have distracted Carl for longer.
- Sorry.

Got some cake for you.

Oh! Well, all is forgiven.
- Mm.

What are you doing?

Following a hunch.

There 's something about Deirdre
that' s really bugging me.

Oh, yeah, me too. She 's
really ghoulish, isn't she?

Whoa, hello.

She can bake though.

So moist.

No, I was thinking about
some of the things she says.

Oh, yeah, like us being
" unbidden guests".

I've heard that before. And she just
used the phrase "angry hive of bees".

Yes, sounds like Shakespeare,
doesn't it? We should ring Sebastian.

Oh, that's right, we can't.

Look.

The whole of the Equinox Nine series is
based on Henry VI Part One, Two and Three.

And one of the characters in those
books talks exactly like Deirdre.

Book five.

"' If the Emperor learns of this by other
means he 'Il be an angry hive of bees'

said Princess Idredi."

Oh! Hang on a minute. Are
there actually bees in space?

Idredi? That's practically
an anagram for Deirdre.

You see, Princess Idredi is underhand
and sneaky just like Deirdre.

Is she?

Yeah, she 's been pulling a
fast one with Greg ' s dinners.

And getting away with it.

Well, if she wasn't we ' d have
heard crockery smashing, wouldn't we?

Yeah.

[MUSICAL CLOCK CHIMES ][- HE CHUCKLES]

Frank, what are you doing?

We haven't got time to
sit about reading books.

Yes. Sorry. Yeah. We've got
to find that manuscript.

And I've got a hunch that
I want to follow as well.

Oh.

When I've... I'm just
gonna eat the cake first.

[TYPEWRITER PlNGS INDISTANCE]

[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACK]

Hello. Only me.

Ah, do come in.

Oh, you have.

I have, yes. We were talking earlier
about fan-mail. I wonder, is this it?

Indeed.
- LU: Yeah?

Oh.

Any more death threats?

Oh, you heard about that.

Yeah, well, Max mentioned it. I was
surprised it hadn't come up sooner.

Your colleague had already
decided this is an inside job.

Wow. You have got some very
angry and articulate readers.

They do get upset, especially when
you kill off a favourite character.

Yeah, or characters?

As in "The Night of
A Thousand Sorrows"?

Ah, the imperial
army doesn't arrive

because Makveli refuses
to hon our his debt.

Don't you just hate it when
that happens?[ SHE LAUGHS]

You're clearly a fan
of classic literature

and yet you're stuck here typing up
pages and pages of science fiction.

I do a little more than
merely "typing up".

I'm editing, enhancing.

Tidying the odd turn of
phrase here and there.

Not that Greg 's prose
needs much improvement.

LU: Wow.

All that hard work and yet he still
won't let you read the last 12 pages.

That must hurt.

[GIRLS GIGGLE REG SHOUTS:]
Don! Get in here now!

That's my cue.

If you 'Il excuse me.

Have you ever thought
about getting an intercom?

[HE CHUCKLES] Feel free
to browse the fan-mail

if it' Il make you feel better.

Some of it will
make you feel sick.

Oh.

Technically, I'm a civilian
and we 're trespassing.

The gate 's open. It's not
breaking and entering. We 're fine.

I 'Il check if
the coast is clear.

Now, it's only a BK7 prism
lens, but it does the job.

Right. Sure.

Can't get in that way.
How do the windows look?

Through your BK... peaky...

BK7.
- BK7.

VIOLA: lt's locked.

That would be
breaking and entering.

But there 's often
a legal way in.

I think I might
have found a way in.

Hm.

It might be a trap.

I 'Il check. I
got us into this.

What are you doing?

Well...

where would you hide a
twelve-page document?

Oh, in a room full of documents.

Oh, that's very smart.

Yeah, well, I 'Il help you look for it
then. There was nothing in the fan-mail.

I thought you said we didn't have
time to sit around reading the books.

Yeah, well, I just thought I ought
to check up on the source material.

It's, um...

It's actually really great writing.
I can see why you're such a fan.

I'm not anymore.

Yeah, no, well, never
meet your heroes.

That's what they say, isn't it.

Especially when they turn
out to be a paranoid recluse

that' s partial to
waving a sword around.

[GIRLS GIGGLE REG SHOUTS:]
How could you betray me?

DON: Greg! No! Please stop!

You see, normally, a noise like
that, we 'd be running, wouldn't we?

Par for the course
in this house.

Look, we find out who stole
it, we 'Il know where to look.

Hm.

Well, the thing is it could have been
any one of them, couldn't it, eh?

Max?
- Or?

Don?
- Or?

Carl?
- Or?

Deidre.
- Hm.

Every one of them had the same
five million reasons to do this.

What about Carl? He clammed up,
didn't he? He ' s got a past.

Could have been Max?

Nah.

He could cook the books up and steal
five million without a ransom note.

What if this is not about money?

It could be about revenge.

Don seemed really resentful about not
being trusted with that final chapter.

Deirdre, she might have just got fed
up of being yelled at all the time.

[DISTANT CREAK]

Is that the front door?

[DOOR SQUEAKS]

SEBASTIAN: Lu!
[THEY SHRIEK]

Oh!

You're OK!

[SHE GASPS] I was until then!

[SEBASTIAN GIRLS GIGGLE RUNTS]

I have been so
worried about you!

You wouldn't pick
up any of my calls.

Well, they took our phones away
from us. Can you believe it?

This place is a mad house.
- How did you find us?

Viola helped me.

Are you impressed?

Very. Yeah. Um, but you know, you
needn't have worried. We 're fine.

Everyone 's fine.

[WOMAN SCREAM

That didn't sound fine.

No, and it didn't sound like the usual
screams you get around here either.

Ooh, you ...!

Everything alright?

I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to scream.

You're allowed to
scream. He 's dead!

DON: Who 's dead?

Who are you?

How did you get in?

Uh, the front door was open.

Phones aren't allowed!

Hello? I 'd like
to report a murder.

Murder?

LU: Yeah, Frank, I'm so sorry.

[DON GASPS]

Greg!

No!

No, no, no! Who-who did this?

I don't know!

I came in to take away the brandy
glass and found him like this.

Deirdre! Don't touch anything.
This is a crime scene!

Right, everybody calm down.
The police are on their way.

Sebastian, can you take
everybody downstairs?

I 'Il clear the area.

Frank, Frank, it's
the manuscript!

You mustn't touch anything!

No, but we've been hired to
find a manuscript. Twelve pages.

With " Earth and Dust" at
the top, and this is it.

VIOLA: OK, well, it is
about to become evidence.

OK, but, could we take a photo?

Oh, Lu, please!

Not now.

It's just...

He 's dead.

[HE SIGHS]

Uh...

We found Greg in
his office. Sorry.

[HE GASPS] You mean he 's...

Oh, no, how?

Run through with
his samurai sword.

[HE GASPS]

SEBASTIAN: Here we go.

Have you been rummaging around
in my nice clean kitchen?

Uh. O-only to make
tea. Sorry, I...

Oh, hello. I found the missing
persons, no thanks to you.

Oh, no. If you're
here, that means...

The other one better not be
messing up my crime scene.

No, no, PC Deacon has been doing an
excellent job of guarding the crime scene.

So, what's going on then?

The deceased is Greg Alban

a science-fiction
author, very successful.

I probably could have
figured that out.

Uh, he hired us to find the final
chapter of his forthcoming novel.

Uh, it's been stolen.

And there was a ransom note demanding
five million pounds for its safe return.

And they never
called the police?

No, because Greg is
"a very private man."

Which is why they hired Carl.

In fact has anyone seen Carl?

Who is Carl?

The security guard.

A security guard who left
the front door wide open.

Um, it was open when we arrived, we
entered and heard Deirdre scream.

You don't think it could
have been Carl who...?

Seems likely.

Alert, all units for a Carl...

A Carl...

[FRANK SIGHS]

[HE IMITATES
KEELER:] Thompson.

Tall, male, well-built,
possibly dangerous.

Approach with caution.

[INDISTlNCT RADIO CHATTER]

I'm gonna look at
the crime scene.

PC Morgan? Statements
from everyone.

PC Deacon? Cup of
tea would be nice.

[BlRDS SlNG]

Found your phone.

Your phone? It's...

Wow, you are hooked, aren't you?

Thanks, sorry, I just...

I'm surprised it
was still there.

Yeah, good point.

Couple of phones could be some
fast cash for a man on the run.

I wonder why he left the army.

You could look it up.

Or you could.

[HE SIGHS]

Sorry, it's just I'm at the bit where
Pergitran 's in that cave with Haldameer.

Haldameer. Ho, ho, that's great, that bit.
- Yeah.

Right, I have given my statement,
and Keeler has said we can go.

Or words to that effect.

He used other words.

Can you, um, look up Carl
's army record for me?

I can try.

But it might be easier
back at the office.

OK. Let's go.

Do you know what
the shame is though?

I never got a chance to
wear Greg ' s pyjamas.

[HE SIGHS]

Uh...

Oh.

It's not evidence, is it?

We, uh, we found the manuscript
but it's now evidence.

Oh, yeah, did you get pictures?

Yeah, I took some
before it was bagged up.

It's quite alright.
You will be paid.

As agreed.

Oh, this is a lamentable thing.

SEBASTIAN: What' s that?

Do you think someone put
something in his drink?

Huh. Deirdre was very prickly
about me making tea in her kitchen.

Wait. Let's look at the timeline
here. What time was the scream?

DON: This is now
a police matter.

So, will you kindly make your
wild speculations elsewhere.

Yes, sorry. This must be really
difficult time for you all.

Take a last look round, Frank.

Yeah, I'm done.

A dishonourable discharge.

FRANK: You can
get cream for that.

Our friend Carl.

You have to be very naughty
to get one of those.

You 'd think they'd check him out
before hiring him for the security.

Hm. Unless they were desperate.

And who 'd want to
work for Greg Alban?

Uh, which is probably
why Max was hired.

I did some digging and turns out

he was involved in a financial
scandal in the City in the ' 90s.

No one was formally charged...

Yeah, they never are.

Hm. It looks like it
was all pinned on him.

It's probably the only
job that Max could get.

And finally...

quite literally

the last chapter
of the last book.

[SEBASTIAN CLICKS
HIS TONGUE] - Oh!

Or rather Frank' s photographs of it.
[ PHONE RINGS]

Shakespeare and Hathaway
Private Investigators.

Yes.

Yes.

Of course. See you shortly.

Speak of the devil.

Well, the disgraced
ex-banker. Max wants to meet.

Why?

The police have arrested
someone for Greg 's murder.

Carl?
- Don?

Deirdre.

Deirdre called me from custody.

Police found a stash of
sleeping pills in the kitchen.

Yeah, she got a bit cagey with Sebastian
when he was rummaging around in there.

No, she just used to put them
in his food to help him sleep.

That's hardly enough for
a murder charge, is it?

But the brandy had enough
sleeping draught in it

to kill the Emperor'
s entire Elite Guard.

[HE SIGHS]

It's a lamentable thing.

Of course! That's
what Makveli says.

Don mentioned Makveli.

Something to do with "The Night of A
Thousand Sorrows" and not honouring a debt.

Greg based Princess
Idredi on Deirdre.

And you, Mr Max
Moore, are Makveli.

They both say " it's
a lamentable thing ".

Are you implying I'm a
disreputable financier?

To be fair, the papers
already did that.

So, who does that make
Don? I think it's Darius.

Who 's Darius?

FRANK: Loyal servant and
right-hand man of the Emperor.

Been with him from the very beginning.
[ PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE CONTI NUES TO RlNG]

Oh!

[HE LAUGHS]

Now that, uh, Greg 's...

gone, I can use the phone.

Um... where are the buttons?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello! Hi, yeah,
Max Moore speaking.

You're executioners?

Oh, executors!

Sorry.

Are we going to find out to
whom Greg has left his millions?

I think I already have.

Can I be there
when you tell him?

Sorry, guys. I can't let you in.

Forensics are
still finishing up.

I live here, and
these are my guests.

Yeah, even so...

What are they doing here?

Oh, I think you
know why we've come.

No. Now please leave.

This is private property.

And who owns this
property now, Don?

I think you know the
answer to that too.

Why are you so sure
you know what I think?

Cos we know how this
story ends, Darius.

Come into the hall.

This is a copy of
the final chapter.

But then you've already
read that, haven't you?

You think I stole the
manuscript for money?

No.

No, I think you stole
it for recognition.

For all the editing and the
improving and enhancing that you did.

I think you wanted
the world to know

just what a difference you '
d made to Greg 's writing.

And releasing this final
unedited chapter to the internet

would prove just how
much editing you did.

FRANK: You're a
very talented writer.

[HE CHUCKLES] Thank
you. But, no, no.

I was merely tidying up the
words of a master storyteller.

Oh, I don't know.

It's mainly Shakespeare, and
some old samurai legends.

And a few real characters.

Isn't that right, Darius?

He 's put us in the books!

I'm Makveli.

Princess Idredi is Deirdre...
who 's been arrested.

Deirdre? Why not Carl?

Ah, yeah, that's
why you hired him.

Ex-soldier with a murky past
who could take the blame.

You stole that
manuscript, didn't you?

And then you staged a burglary to
throw the police off the scent.

If they ever got involved.

But Greg wouldn't
like that because...

No. Because Greg was
"a very private man."

There was a problem,
wasn't there?

Yesterday you got round to reading
the final chapter of the final book.

And you discovered
that the Emperor

leaves everything to his
faithful servant Darius.

The servant that he 's shouted at
and taken for granted all his life...

stood to get everything.

As in the books, so in life.

You knew Greg was gonna leave you
the house, the estate, royalties.

It's true.

The solicitors say you
get every last penny.

FRAN K: But you can't
inherit if it's murder.

If you admit it... you might
get off with self-defence.

Tell us.

Is this what happened?

Come on, do the decent thing.

I've always tried to
do the decent thing!

That was the trouble.

When I read the manuscript
and realised what it meant...

that Greg was leaving
me everything...

I tried to do the decent thing.

I actually went to
own up and apologise.

How could you betray me?

He 'd rant and then calm down.

But he told me...

to pack my bags and leave!

Where would I go?

I 'd given that man everything.

I protested, but he came at me.

Traitor!

No! Greg! Please!

DON: I tried to disarm him.

There was a struggle

he stumbled

and fell...

on to the sword.

I panicked. I tried
to create confusion.

I knew Deirdre had been
tampering with his food.

So, I put something
in his drink...

to distract the police.

And then I told Carl

that Greg had been murdered...

by Max.

What?

But it would be Carl who got the
blame because of his army record.

So, he 'd better
get a head start.

How could you do such a thing?

I 'd give anything to go
back to the way things were.

Anything. [HE CRIES]

I'm afraid I think
that ship has sailed.

But you can do the right thing.

Oh, Frank, it's me again, where
are you? We need to leave.

He was really disillusioned
having met Greg.

But you 'd think he 'd still
want to go to his memorial service.

Well, yeah.
[ CLATTER OUTSIDE]

He 's gone the other way.

Ha ha!

VIOLA: Prince Pergitran?

[SHE LAUGHS]

I thought we were
all dressing up.

Well, I was thinking about
dressing up as Jehanne.

But, Keeler insisted
I wore uniform.

We have to go.

I-I 'm the only one doing
cosplay. I look ridiculous!

I think it's what he
would have wanted.

[HE LAUGHS]

[HE LAUGHS EVl LLY]

[HE GIRLS GIGGLE ROWLS]