Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 4 - Most Wicked Speed - full transcript

[MAN LAUGHS IN DISTANCE]

[DOOR SQUEAKS]

[SlRENS WAl L]

[OFFICER 1:] Police!

[OFFICER 2:] Police!

[OFFICER 2:] Police!
[ OFFICER 1:] Stay where you are!

[OFFICER 1: ]Don't move!

[DOOR SQUEAKS]

KEELER: You want to tell
us what you're doing here?

Red-handed.

[KEELER CHUCKLES]



Joseph Venice, I am arresting
you for suspicion of murder.

You do not have to say anything,
but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention when questioned
something you later rely on in court.

[IN AMERICAN ACCENT:] Get me
Shakespeare and Hathaway.

[HE SIGHS]

What' s the stopping distance
for 30 miles an hour?

Uh... about six car lengths.

I'm afraid I need
the answer in feet.

Oh, I 'Il give you my feet in a minute
and me boot, right up your jacksy.

You need to take this
seriously, Francis.

I've been driving since you were a
funny look in your dad 's good eye.

Besides, I've been driving with
Lu for the past couple of years...

so I've seen exactly what
bad driving looks like.

Cheek!



Alright, tell me this...

can you drive like a
normal person, though

or do you have to drive
everywhere like the police?

What does that even mean?

You know, you have to drive around
going, "Woo, woo, woo, woo!"

And smashing through
stacks of cardboard boxes.

FRANK: If you think all cops
drive like Starsky and Hutch

you ought a see Keeler
drive. [HE LAUGHS]

I remember once we were
chasing a stolen milk float.

He could hardly keep up!

He ' s such an idiot.

KEELER: Remind me how long
your driving ban lasts?

Until today!

I'm gonna ace this test and I'm going to
be back on the road before you know it.

Oh, eat my dust!

KEELER: I wouldn't
be so sure of that.

I 'Il be needing you two down the station.
- Which two?

Not you.

Phew.
- Why?

To help me with some enquiries.

Mm, sorry, no. We 're a meeting
a client in about five minutes.

I can come back with uniforms, a
warrant, we could search the place.

I'm sure that' Il look good
for your little business.

You could at least tell
us what this is all about.

Murder.

And the killer's
asking for you two.

You do know, if I find out
you're in cahoots with him

I'm sending you both up river.

Since when did you ever find
anything out without our help, hm?

Follow me.

[DOOR SLAMS]

LU: Uh, Mr Venice?
- Joe.

Squares start with " Mr Venice".
Cats like you can call me Joe.

Oh, right, thank you.
I'm Lu, this is Frank.

We've got a few questions for you.
- Oh, I bet you do.

[LU CHUCKLES -]
Like, who are you?

And what have me and Lu
got to do with any of this?

I ' Il cut to the chase.

I'm an investigator, like you.

Most of the time,
I operate in LA.

That's Los Angeles.

Hollywood, if you want to get into specifics.
- Ooh!

That's in Los Angeles.
- Yes, I know.

Oh, OK.

Normally it's just fixing
things, for stars and studios.

Scandals and snooping. You dig?

Uh, we dig.
- You're a long way from home.

Well, I go where
the work takes me.

This is the skinny...

I've been on the trail of a car.

Well, my mate 's doing up an
old camper van if you fancy?

JOE: No, no, the
producer I work for

well, he 's trying to
complete his collection.

And there 's this missing
chariot, used to belong to a star.

We 're talking a Hollywood
all-timer, the real deal...

Oh, right! What, like Brad Pitt?

Steve McQueen?
- Bradley Cooper?

Paul Newman?
- Oh! Madonna!

John Wayne?
- I can't say.

Look her up. The "
Mistress Quickly".

Tricked out in the
engine. A real beast.

Now, I've gone from auction
to backstreet seller

making my way along the
line, for three years...

And the trail led you here?

End of the rainbow, baby.

This car's changed hands
more often than a dollar bill.

And then finally, today, I'm on my way to
meet the man who says he knows where she is

Mr Andy Stern.

A second-rate mechanic.

Dead as the pharaohs
when I found him.

Someone took a wrench and...

loosened his nut.

I thought about splitting,
but maybe the man kept a note.

Something I could go on.

Didn't look too cool when the
cops came in and collared me.

And that's where we come in?

JOE: lt's a mess, alright.

But you, me...

we 're gumshoes,
there 's a code.

We 're brothers and sisters.

If you can land the big fish...

With the Mistress Quickly.

And get me off the hook

there 's a finder' s
fee in it. Ten percent.

I'm sorry, we've already
got a really full caseload.

Carl s been valued at $150,000.

Never let it be said that Frank Hathaway
would let down a fellow sleuth in need.

Read me that
number-plate over there.

Uh, D...

Ooh... one.

"Dee... Oh?"

Ohhh...

"Do one." [HE LAUGHS]

Very witty.
- FRANK: I thought so.

How does a big-time LA detective
hear about you, anyway?

Ah, we've worked with
soap stars, rock gods.

The in-crowd know us
by name and reputation.

But hire him instead?

Well, he does have the slight advantage
of actually living in Hollywood, actually.

Well, for now, anyway.

For now?

Picture this.

[IN EXAGGERATED AMERICAN ACCENT:]
"Shakespeare and Hathaway: Los Angeles."

SEBASTlEN: Yes.

Well, while you have been
dreaming about la la land

some of us have actually
been doing some digging.

Andy Stern. Before he was a
mechanic, he was a stock car racer.

Oh, great. Those things are
like demolition derbies.

I mean, if he had hold of this
Mistress Quickly and raced her

he 'd have welded the doors
shut, smashed her to smithereens.

He had some teammates.

Another mechanic, Portia Dane,
and a driver, Reece Alonso.

Greasy Reece Alonso.
I might have known.

When I was in the police, we had
him in our sights for armed robbery

but we couldn't make it stick.

Hence the name,
Greasy Reece, see?

Ah. He runs a
driving school now.

If he saw me, he 'd run a mile.

Tell you what, get Lu to talk to him.
I 'Il chase up this Portia instead.

She has a garage in the
same estate as Andy.

Maybe she saw something.

As long as it
wasn't Joe Venice...

[IN AMERICAN ACCENT:]
whacking a guy with a wrench.

A spanner.

I'm American, it's a wrench.

What, is that American, is it?

[IN NORMAL VOICE:] Yes, it is.

I won the dialect medal
at RADA. That is Nebraska.

Jason Chase. Well, well,
well. It's been a while.

Who are you?

Uh, Frank Hathaway. I ' m, uh...

Yeah, sorry, Frank.
I need to go.

You don't have to
go on my account.

If he says he has
to go, he has to go.

Thanks for the tea.

Uh...

So, uh... what do
you want, Hank?

Oh no, I'm Frank, not Hank.
- Oh.

Hank Hathaway, it sounds like
a country and western singer.

[SHE LAUGHS]

I'm a private investigator.

Oh.
- Do you mind me asking how you know Jason?

Yeah, he 's been hanging around the
garages, doing odd jobs and things.

How do you know him?

Oh, I used to be with the police force.
- Oh.

Been a lot of them about today.

So, are you here to ask about Jason
Chase, or about the murder over there?

You used to race with
the deceased, am I right?

Not racing, not as such.

I did repairs for him.

I was in the pit-stop, while they
were out getting all the glory.

That would be Andy
Stern and Reece Alonso?

Now you're asking questions
you know the answers to.

You don't seem very upset
about what happened.

Oh, we weren't close.

His garage is only there.

Well, there 's all kinds
of gear-heads along here.

Andy and I worked together, but it's
not like we were friends or anything.

What about Jason Chase?

I mean, if he 's been hanging
around, do you think he saw anything?

No.

And I don't think he
wanted to talk to you.

[HE CHUCKLES]

What about you, hm?

You, uh, you wouldn't be using this
for illegal street racing, would you?

Ah, I can't control what people do with
these cars after I've finished with them.

See anything you like?

Not really my style.
- Yeah.

You're more of a
muscle-car sort, eh?

Something big and
powerful and classic.

Uh, speaking of muscle-cars.

You didn't, uh, see Andy

working on anything
like that did you?

Oh, this mythical missing car?

No, we never had it.

I did all the
buying for the team.

If we 'd have laid our
hands on an engine like that

we ' d have raced it.

If you ask me, I 'd say
Andy was trying it on.

Hoping to con a bit of
money out of that detective.

If the Yank found out he
was being strung along...

[TOOL REVS] [FRAN K YELPS]

[INTERVlEW RECORDER BEEPS]

Joe Venice. Is that
your real name?

Is that your real moustache?

I ask the questions round
here. I don't answer ' em.

Go on, then. I asked
you a question.

That was a statement.

You said, " I ask the questions
round here. I don't answer them."

Are you trying to be clever?
- I am. I recommend it.

I've got your fingerprints on the
control of the hydraulic lift.

I've got the victim 's
blood on your sleeves.

So, tell me, which one of us
looks like the stupid one now?

Honest answer?

I'm warning you.
- Yes.

Yes what?

Yes, Joe Venice is my real name.

Good luck on the test, kiddo.

Knock ' em dead.
- Oh!

Not the best advice
for a driving test.

I give all my best
advice in the front seat.

I could book you in for a
session if you 'd like, Miss...?

Lu. Lu Shakespeare.

Not Miss Lu.

Miss Shakespeare. [SHE CHUCKLES]

And how can I help
you, Miss Shakespeare?

Yes.

That would be Andy Stern.

Um, you used to be partners.

I mean not "
partners, " partners.

Just that you... Well, you used
to race together. Is that right?

Yeah, I heard the news. Shocking.
Who could do such a thing?

Yeah, sorry, I didn't
mean to upset you.

Oh, we were rivals once. But I left
that world behind me a long time ago.

Not that long ago, mind you.

No, clearly not. [SHE LAUGHS]

I don't suppose you 'd know
why anyone would want to...

Kill him?

No. No idea.

One more little question,
if that's alright?

Is that alright?

Have you ever seen that car?

Yes, I think, uh, Portia
Dane, our mechanic

she bought one like that for peanuts
at some off-the-books auction.

We were all excited
to see it race

but when we tried
it, it was bust.

Slick on the outside, but,
uh, nothing under the hood.

Oh. [SHE CHUCKLES]

Cars are like lovers. It's what's
on the inside that matters.

[SHE CHUCKLES] - You should
see how I make this purr.

Yeah, that would be lovely.

Um...

Just one last thing, um... Do you
know what happened to the car?

Got rid. Sold for parts.

I mean, chances are it's in pieces
now. What' s that got to do with Andy?

We don't know, really, it' s just
something we ' re looking into.

Betty.

Betty Ceres. She 's someone
who had it in for Andy.

Oh? Do you know why?

She 's this ex-addict.

Used to be a barmaid at our
local, does tattoos now, I think.

Blamed Andy for some crash.

Left her with this limp.

I mean, she hated him for it.

Oh, right. Betty Ceres.

Yeah. I'm sure that's got more to do with
Andy croaking it, than some missing car.

Yes, I'm sure it has.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

No, thank you.

Thank you.

So, one of them is lying.

Or they both are.

FRANK: Portia thinks Andy was running
a con. Reckons he pushed Joe too far.

Reece said there was a tattoo artist,
Betty Ceres, and she had it in for Andy.

FRANK: Well, we 'd
better talk to her then.

There is something else
we have to consider...

Yeah?

FRANK: Maybe the police
have the right man.

[SHE SCOFFS] Yeah.

Oh, yeah, no. Yeah.

[DOOR BELL TlNKLES]

Uh, Betty Ceres?

Yeah?

I'm Frank Hathaway. I'm
a private investigator.

Could I ask you a few
questions about Andy Stern?

BETTY: Why would I want
to say anything about him?

What, you didn't get along?

He did this 20 years ago.

How did it happen?

I was walking home from work.
He was in some street race.

Must've thought if he didn't
stop, I wouldn't know it was him.

Did you call the police?

Look, what' s all this about?

Andy Stern ' s been murdered.

You think this has got
something to do with me?

No, no, I'm just trying to understand
a bit more about the victim.

[SHE SCOFFS] Yeah, well...

I did go to the police,
they didn't believe me.

No one stuck up for me. Much
like every other day in my life.

Look, I'm not with the police.
I'm just trying to help.

Well, you can start
by leaving me alone.

Well, look, if you change
your mind, it's...

Jason. We meet
again. [HE CHUCKLES]

Jason? Jason!

[HE GIRLS GIGGLE ROANS]

This is why I need a car.

Do you think it could
be a coincidence?

Not with Jason Chase.

How' d you know him?

Oh, this and that.

Mostly bad. Uh, petty theft.

Joyriding. He was a
bit of a boy-racer.

A wrong ' un, then? Could
he have graduated to murder?

[HE SIGHS ]I hope not.

I mean, he 's been in
a lot of trouble, yeah

but he 's been in and out of
care, no one to look after him.

But if he 's a joyrider, then he could
have stolen our car we ' re after.

But why stick about?

Wouldn't you just
make a speedy getaway?

Mmm...

FRANK: Speedy getaway?

Look up Post Office
robberies. Christmas 2003.

Oh! Didn't you say Reece was
involved in an armed robbery?

Ah! Here we go.

Headline. "Post Haste. Post Office
Robbers Escape with Christmas Takings."

"Post Haste."

[HE LAUGHS] I bet they were
pleased with that one.

Get on with it, will ya?

[HE CLEARS HIS THROAT]
Blah, blah, blah...

"Witnesses described the
getaway car as American

and driven with great
speed and skill."

Oh, I knew it!

Yeah, well that's not very bright,
is it? Using a flash car like that.

FRANK: Exactly. They' d have
to get rid of it straight away.

Yeah, you 'd have to
sell it or scrap it.

Reece had an alibi.

Maybe we ' re looking
at the wrong racer.

Maybe Andy was the wheel man.

Hang on a minute, are we solving
one of your old cases here

or are we trying to find
the Mistress Quickly?

SEBASTIAN: Ahem?

And trying to solve a murder, and trying
to keep your client out of prison?

And all of that.

We need to lean
on Reece properly.

What do you mean, " properly"?

Well, cos you were so immune
to his charms last time. Hm?

Well...

Let' s see if Mr Alonso is
as straight as he makes out.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Hello, Reece. Nice wheels.

Frank Hathaway. You know, I
'd like to catch up, but...

Oh, won't take long. Just tell us
what' s happened to the missing car.

Never existed.

What? You said it was
probably sold for scrap metal.

I was thinking of something
else. Wires crossed.

You, uh... you in
a hurry, are you?

You know, last I heard, you weren't
police anymore. Is that right?

What about you? Still up to your old
tricks are you? Still in the game?

[ENGINE CLICKS]

Aw, not much of a purr, is it?

[ENGINE STARTS]

Oh.

REECE: If you 'd like
to speak to my secretary

I'm sure she can
arrange an appointment.

But if you 'Il excuse me, I've
an important client to meet.

You know, if Reece really did
use that car for a robbery...

Who got him the car
in the first place?

I knew! I knew!
[ FRANK LAUGHS]

Do you ever actually
do any work for us?

You should be revising. You won't
make it in LA if you can't drive.

Revision? Pah!

I know it off by heart.

Uh-uh. Quarter past nine.

What?
- It's not ten-to-two.

It's quarter past nine.

FRANK: Since when?
- Since airbags.

Well, I'm not listening
to you anyway.

There 's only one place you
drive me, that' up the wall.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Actually, my instructor said I
was the best she 'd ever passed.

Well, why do we never
see you drive then?

I couldn't possibly
talk about it.

OK.

Just as I was leaving
the examination centre

a man, an idiot...

stepped straight into the road.

FRANK: What, did
you run him over?

SEBASTIAN: No! I performed
an expert emergency stop.

And then I became a monster.

[THEY LAUGH ] What,
you? With road rage?

I didn't recognise myself.

After that, I swore I
'd never drive again.

Wow.
- Yeah.

So, have you guys actually done any
work on this case or are you just...

Yes! So, this
might be something.

[HE CLEARS H IS THROAT]

"' Rival Racers
to Settle Score."

It says here, that after
finishing in joint first place

Andy Stern and Reece Alonso said
they would decide who was fastest

"one way or another."

So?

This is from 2002.

When Betty was injured
in her accident.

So, the rematch could have
been the illegal street race.

Which would mean Andy
and Reece were to blame.

How does this tie into Jason?

If you keep bumping into
him, why not just ask?

Stop! In the name of the law!
[JASON YELPS]

Frank! You...

Hey! Don't make me cross.

Get it?

Do you get it?
- No. Just, no.

[HE SIGHS] Shall we have a chat?

Do I have a choice?

Come on.

I'm not even gonna
mention the disguise.

I haven't done anything.

Yet!

That's the second time I've caught you
hanging around that tattoo parlour.

I thought you 'd
stopped all of that.

Aren't you supposed to be looking
for Andy's killer or something?

What makes you think the
police haven't done that?

There 's only two people would know
the police have got the wrong man.

You're either a witness,
or you're the...

I didn't do it. Alright?

You 'Il have to try a bit
harder than that to convince me.

I want to help you. But you
have to trust me. Jason?

Listen, I...
[ MODEL TRAIN HOOTER BLOWS]

I found the body before the Yankee
turned up. But then I pegged it.

So Joe Venice is innocent? Why
didn't you tell the police that?

Oh, yeah, so they
can pin it on me!

I don't want to be
in the frame either.

If they've not got a
suspect, then they' Il...

[HE SIGHS]

So, did you know Betty, then?

The tattooist.

Yeah, she, uh, she had it
in for Andy. Hated him.

Yeah, but we don't
know she did it.

[HE GIRLS GIGGLE ROANS]

Such a mess, is all this.

Is she after the car as well?

You know, the Mistress Quickly.
- What?

How do you know...?

JASON: Ah!

Is this what this is all
about? Finding a car?

Do you know where it is?

My buddy's been murdered and all
you care about is some old car!

That "old car" is
worth thousands.

Whoever killed Andy
might be after...

After a fortune,
you mean? Like you!

Oh, Portia was right.
I can't trust anyone.

Jason.

If you know something that might
help, this is a murder investigation.

It's a treasure hunt.

It's either me or the police.

Yeah, well... That's up
to you, innit, Frankie.

Jason!
- What now?

You forgot your...

Oh.

Thank you.

[PHONE RlNGS]

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Listen, we need to look
up Betty's place again.

I've a feeling bad tats aren't
the only thing she covers up.

Oh, OK.

What you got?

Well, nothing. You asked me
to ring you to remind you.

Remind me what?

You've got a driving
test, right now!

Oh!

[DOOR BELL TlNKLES]

[IN AMERICAN ACCENT: ]Hey.

I'm looking for
some sin on my skin.

We do tattoos and
tattoo removal.

Hit me up with some
recommendos, daddio.

I can show you my portfolio.

Things I've already done.
- Whoa!

Tell me about this
one, doll face.

It's a star.

Cool, man. Cool.

[DOOR BELL TlNKLES]

OK, uh...

You, you...

You, you, you, you!

You! You.

[BETTY:] You!

I know you!

You're no lollipop man.

You're Andy's friend, Jason.

Did you ...?

Did... you ...?

[OBJECT CLATTERS]

Don't mind me, brother.

Uh... Uh!

Sorry.

[JASON PANTS]

Wrong... wrong number. Shop.

Wrong shop. I needed...

bacon.

[DOOR BELL TlNKLES]

Oh! Sorry I'm late. We can make
up for lost time on the road, eh?

[HE IM ITATES ENGINE REWlNG]

I 'Il ride shotgun! [HE LAUGHS]

Never mind. I 'Il drive.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

It's not the National Gallery, are
you gonna choose something or what?

[IN NORMAL VOICE:] Absolutely
not, it's just so...

[IN AMERICAN ACCENT:]
permanent... baby.

[SHE SIGHS] Look.

I've just about had enough of
weirdos pestering me today.

[DOOR BELL TlNKLES]

PORTIA: Betty.

Hey.

Do you remember me?

Yeah, I remember you.
- PORTIA: Yeah.

I'm looking for
Jason, Andy' s mate?

I think he might have
been heading here.

[SHE SCOFFS] What is going on?

Honestly.

I'm fed up of strangers traipsing in
and out of here interrupting my trade.

I mean, detectives. Weirdos.

Detectives?

This murder.

That's probably why that Jason lad came
here, but it's nothing to do with me.

I think you might
be in danger here.

You can't trust anyone.

We 're closing.

I think I'm gonna try something in
biro first, see if I really dig it.

So, show us what you got.

Ah, bupkis, baby.

Oh!

Listen, Portia Dane just rushed in, and
told Betty her life might be in danger.

Really? From who?

They hustled me out
before I could hear.

But, Jason was in earlier, and he
seemed sort of angry with Betty.

So, my guess is maybe him.

Hang on. If Portia's in there,
then she 's not in the garage.

So?

So...

we 're looking for a car, and
that's where people keep them.

Ah!
- LU: Call Frank.

Tell him what you found out.

Uh...

I ' Il just walk then, shall I?

[HANDBRAKE CLICKS]

[PHONE RlNGS]

So... what' s the verdict?

Hello?

Hello?

[GARAGE DOOR WHIRS]

You 'Il be safe here.

When I've got hold of him, I 'Il
sort this out, once and for all.

[PHONE RlNGS]

Hello?

Hey, did you pass?

No more Mini! [HE LAUGHS]

Hey, bravo! Ah!

Well, Lu told me to report
back on the tattoo shop.

And?

Betty' s into motors. Cars
inked up and down her arms.

Anything else?

Yes. Uh, a star.

A wolf. And a date, 03.03.83.

I don't mean tattoos! I mean,
did you find out anything else?

Oh.

Yes, I did. Your friend Jason came
rushing in, and then rushed out.

And then it was Portia, saying
Betty' s life was in danger.

And the two of them
left shortly after that.

What together?

Yes. Portia made it sound
like Jason might be dangerous.

Jason?

Wait! Give me that date again.

03.03.83.

Oh no.

What?

I've got a bad feeling
this is a trap.

[PHONES CHIME]

And Lu ' s caught right
in the middle of it.

Hey! Hang on! Hang
on! Stop! Stop! Move.

I've got a driving test!
- No, it's an emergency!

I'm commandeering the vehicle.

What are you doing?

Come on. Come on. Pick up.

BETTY: Why are you inviting him
here if he 's a danger to me?

[TOOL CLATTERS]

What the hell 's going on?

Ah.

Hi.

Um...

Nice place.

Yeah, come on! Come on!

What are you doing?
[CAR HORN HONKS]

[TYRES SQUEAL]

[TYRES SQUEAL]

[JASON YELLS]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[TYRES SCREECH ] Oi! Jason!

What do you want now?

FRANK: Has she called?
- What?

Has anyone called asking
you to go anywhere?

JASON: I don't know, I turned
my phone off, didn't I.

I didn't want any of
you lot tracking me.

Your disguise is a luminous yellow coat
and you're holding an eight-foot lollipop.

Yeah, very good, but I'm not
asking you for tips, alright?

FRANK: Look, I need
you to come with me.

Uh, that's not covered
by my insurance.

This is an emergency. And stop messing
around with the pedals on your side.

Look, I'm sorry if I was...

I'm sorry if I didn't show
enough concern before.

But this is not about a car.

It's about a murder.

And it's about keeping you, and
the people you love about, safe.

I mean it. I've
worked it all out.

Let me help ya.

Look, I want you to call
the police and tell ' em

Frank Hathaway has
stolen your car

and, uh, taken you hostage. That
way they' Il come much quicker.

Fine.

Mm-meh.

Well, come on then!

What are... what are you doing?

Jason!
- Ah!

JASON: Just there, lovely.

Right, yeah. [HE
GIRLS GIGGLE RUNTS]

Ready when you are.
[FRANK SIGHS]

[TYRES SQUEAL]

Uh, no, no. We ' re not the
police. But we have a licence.

And we've got an
office and everything.

Another private detective?

Is this what you lot do, then, eh?
Crawl around trying to listen in?

No... Well, not so much crawling.
Yeah, sometimes we do...

Find anything out, did ya? Dig
up any dirt? Get what you wanted?

I think we've got off on the wrong foot
here. I mean, I'm not accusing anybody.

Accusing of what?

What did you find, detective?
What did you solve?

Well...

What the hell are
you doing with that?

FRANK: Probably
defending herself.

After all, you were planning
on taking her hostage.

Hostage? What on earth for?

FRANK: The missing car.

What missing car?

I don't know anything
about a missing car.

Well... maybe this
will help explain!

PORTIA: Now, I'm no detective

but that doesn't look like a
rare American hot rod to me.

LU: No.

But it is Reece Alonso 's car.
And where is he, right now, huh?

[KNOCKlNG FROM INSlDE CAR]

[SHE KNOCKS]

[KNOCKSIN REPLY]

[LU GASPS ]Reece! Oh, my...

[HE GASPS FOR AlR]

Somebody hit me from behind.

Frankie? What's going on?

[HE SIGHS]

FRANK: When you talked
to me this morning

you ' d already told Portia you 'd seen
Andy' s body, hadn't you?

You knew he was a
potential witness.

You also knew about
his connection to Andy.

But he ran off before you could find
out more about the Mistress Quickly.

That's a stretch.

And you told Betty that Jason was a
danger to her. Why did you do that?

Yeah? And what' s he gonna do?

Lead her to the car.

After Jason had run off and hid

she needed to find a
hostage to draw him out.

You.

That doesn't make sense.
I mean, I barely know him.

Yeah. But he knows
you, don't you?

Betty's tattoo. When
did you first notice it?

She... she came round
arguing with Andy.

I saw it then.

I've booked you in so many
times I know it off by heart.

03.03.83.

It's my birthday.

You...

You're my...

You're my son?

You're my son!

[HE EXHALES]

You're my son.

I didn't know what to do.

I knew that it was Andy
who ' d injured you.

So, I thought maybe you 'd
finally got your revenge. So...

I disguised myself so I could keep an
eye on things. Protect you if I had to.

As touching as this all is, it'
s got nothing to do with me.

FRANK: You needed
to find Jason.

You knew he was a witness, but when he
felt safe talking to you this morning

he couldn't have suspected you.

But what else was so
important about him?

Was it cos he also knew
where Andy kept the car?

You ...?

You said you cared.

I told you everything

about... about my mam

about finding Andy' s body.

I thought you were
gonna help me.

Andy was my mate!

He was a crook!

He was gonna sell that
car and leave you nothing!

No, no, no, no, no!

Andy wouldn't do that.

No, we were gonna work on it
together. Our little project.

No, Andy weren't gonna sell it.

You believe that?
Andy was a fool.

I told him to get rid of
that car after the robberies.

It was evidence, could lead
straight back to us. But he kept it.

So you killed him?

Andy was an idiot,
but he was our mate.

Was he? That car was ours.

Did he tell either of us when
he found out what it was worth?

No, he was gonna
rob us. How dare he!

You're a cheat and a liar
and a crook! How dare you!

[BODY THUDS]

[TOOL CLATTERS]

[MACHINERY WHIRS]

I didn't plan it.

I was so angry to realise
that Andy kept that car.

The danger that
he 'd put me in.

Alright. But why hit
me over the head?

To eliminate the
competition, is that right?

Because you, you were the only other person
who knew about the car and the robberies.

And I bet it was helpful that it was you
and Andy in the race that injured Betty

because with you gone,
that was a motive.

Why, I...

Mam!

[PORTIA GIRLS GIGGLE RUNTS]

[TYRES SCREECH]

[CAR DOORS OPEN]

Should have checked
her blind spot.

Reece was the driver on all
the Post Office robberies.

I can testify to that.

Portia! What are you doing?

I'm not going down for
all this on my own!

Alright, nick him as well.

I'm sorry for doubting you.

Oh, it's not like I ever
gained your trust is it?

A mother you never knew.

You weren't well.

I can't blame you for that.

Ah, sorry I rushed your reunion.

That's alright, Frankie.

I mean, you were helping.

It's everyone else
that ruined things.

And all for a car.

Yeah, between me and you

I wouldn't mention the
car to the coppers.

Jason. I am so sorry I didn't
try harder to find you, but...

I know.

I was scared too.

I don't know where to start.

Probably not with us
watching you, actually.

Sorry, come on, Frank.

Not yet.
- FRANK: Oh, what now?

Solving a murder and a series of
robberies is not good enough for you?

Yeah, right heap of paperwork
you left me with. Brilliant.

But there is one perk.

[THEY LAUGH]

Driving without due
care and attention.

Furious driving,
dangerous driving.

Exceeding passenger
vehicle speed limit.

Aggravated taking of a vehicle.

And finally... leaving a
vehicle in a dangerous position.

[HE WHIMPERS]
You can't do that!

Dunno. Looks like I just did.

LU: Oh, wow! Oh, is that her?

I 'Il ask her. Nicely.

Oh!

You do know that it wasn't
that I didn't want you.

You were the
loveliest little cub.

It was just...

I wasn't in a good place.

You wouldn't have been safe.

I think that we were
meant to meet this way.

You know, fate and all that.

Perhaps we just
weren't ready before.

Oh, look at you, getting
all mushy over a reunion.

Oh, I wasn't
thinking about that.

I was thinking how I'm gonna be
stuck riding around in your Mini.

Bang goes my dreams of a vehicle
befitting my style and status.

Well, that's rude.

Hey, I've got an
international reputation now.

I mean, Americans won't even
recognise this as a car.

They' Il think it's a roller
skate, or a wheelie case.

Oh, really?
- Yes, wheelie.

Oh, stop it! The Americans don't
know what they are missing.

Yeah, they're gonna find
out though, aren't they?

We 're an
international brand now.

Do you really think you 'd
like to work cases abroad?

Wouldn't you miss...

What?

Well, all this?

[HE SIGHS]

[CAR DOOR CLUNKS]

JOE: lt's the moment
of truth, Ruth.

You ready, Eddy?

Who are Ruth and Eddy?

Hit me.

JOE: Jason Chase.

I have been authorised,
by my employer

to offer $150,000
in exchange for...

this, the bona
fide, real deal...

[HE CLICKS HIS FlNGERS] Mistress Quickly.

Yes!

[JOE LAUGHS] Up to you, amigo.

Stick or twist?

Yes or no?

Um...

can I think about it?

You ...?

What? I'm kidding!

Yes, she 's yours.

Congrats, amigo. Now you can
afford to clean those shoes.

Well, um, I'm gonna split
it. Fifty-fifty with...

me mam.

BETTY: Jason, you
can't do that...

Yes, I can.

[SHE GASPS ] It's alright.

I want to.

[HE CHUCKLES]

Finder's fee.

As promised.

All in a day' s work.

Literally.
- For the whole team?

Yes.

I've gotta hand it to you.
You stuck by that kid Jason.

I would 've bought the
car off whoever found it.

It's not my money. But you made
sure the right cat got his moola.

Well, I just hope we 're as renowned
in the States for our integrity

as we are for our investigating.

FRANK: I have to ask, which case or
cases, uh, made... made us famous?

You know, cos we've had a
few choice ones, haven't we?

Oh, we've had a
few! [SHE LAUGHS]

Famous?
- FRANK: Or infamous!

You know, so you 'd
know us, across the pond.

Oh, right.

Hey!
[ BOTH: ]Hey!

No.

No, uh, truth is, I 'd never even
heard of you until yesterday morning.

I found your
business card, uh...

propping up a goofy table
leg at my hotel breakfast.

Yeah, crazy, right?
Imagine where I'd be if I'd had my eggs in bed.

[HE CHUCKLES]

Oh, speaking of eggs...

time I beat it. Shakespeare!

Hathaway.

[THEY LAUGH]

It's been real.

[JOE SlNGS HAPPl LY TO HIMSELF]

Yeah, real stupid.

[SHE CHUCKLES]

Gosh, if it hadn't for you
two international heroes

his beans might have
run into his mushrooms.

Right. Well...

I guess we ' re stuck here. Hm?

None of the glitz. No glamour.

Our usual unusual clients.

Me chauffeuring you around.

Business as usual.

[SHE CHUCKLES]

[FRANK SIGHS]

Fancy a quick one down
the Mucky Mallard?

Yes, please.
- Oh no, I'm driving.

I'm not! [HE LAUGHS]

[LU LAUGHS IRONICALLY]