Sextortion (2020): Season 1, Episode 3 - Sinner for Dinner - full transcript

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

So...

..what you're saying

is that you would like me
to follow you around in your life,

your daily life, and fluff you up,
almost like a puff piece.

Yeah.
Yes, please.

I just...
There's not really any news content

and I don't think
that the Glenderson Dispatch

will really want to cover
this...your story.

Well, we've heard of this thing
called sponsored content.

We'll pay you.



I think we can make that work.

With only three weeks till the
election, we were in damage control.

And thanks to Carol, my emoji sex
tape was the talk of Glenderson.

Even Dad had seen it and was using
it as CUP Party propaganda.

We are yet to know
who this depraved pervert is,

but when we do, the lord will
strike him down with such vengeance

that all will know his mighty power.

On top of that, Shona had given me
48 hours to get rid of Dad.

Byeee.
Wait. No, Shona.

Shona. Shona.

But that wasn't really an option.

You're just a puppet,
know your place.

Luckily, Hari
had been working on a plan.

Control the narrative.



We needed to strike first.

Hari would take care of Shona

and I'd throw the media off the
scent with some propaganda of my own.

We chose to save ourselves
till after marriage, didn't we?

The sanctity of marriage
is very important.

Yeah.

And when we finally did do it...

..it was like
god was there with us...

Hmm.

..like we were servicing him.
Exactly.

We're trying for a baby.

Yeah.

BOTH: We live by the Bible.

We...have that in the can.

OK.

HARI: (WHISPERS) Darren.

Sorry. Darren.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, you got all that, eh?

OK. I'll just pop out.

Thank you.

Way to go, man. You are
controlling the narrative.

You reckon?
Absolutely.

I feel really good about that.
Yeah. Good.

Well, what's next?
Right. I'm gonna go.

Take care of Shona.

Shona?
Yeah.

You're going to take care of her?
Yeah. take care of her.

So, when you say, "take care of her",

do you mean take care of her?

Yeah, I'm going to...
take care of her.

You're not going to...

(GAGS)
What?

I'm not going to kill her,
I'm just...

To be honest,
I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm not going to kill her. Darren!
Sorry.

You alright?

I think so.
OK.

Well, no-one is killing anyone.
I'm just going to take care of her.

Alright?
OK.

OK, good. Alright. Good. Fine.

While Hari headed off,

it was time to whip up
some magic in the kitchen

for our main event,
Sinner for Dinner.

So, Darren, what are you
making for our sinners tonight?

Today we are making a Bellows family
favourite... (CLEARS THROAT)

..pizza.

With a special ingredient.

Oh...

These ones are hard, aren't they,
getting finger nail under there.

(GRUNTS) Oh, god...

Sinner for Dinner
is an old family tradition.

where we each invite a mystery guest
to join us

for an evening of confession
and pizza.

Great...and open.

So, what's that?

It's spaghetti.

You just get nice even coverage

and then you grab
your pineapple pieces

and you just administer them thusly.

And if you're feeling really cheeky,

what you do is you sip the...
you drink all that juice off.

I'm not going to do that now,
you silly rooster.

Me.

You know it's a family favourite
isn't it, Dad?

Um, my mum used to make pizzas a
lot and I just kind of went with it.

After she left, I just kind of went
with it, I just kind of improvised

and used all my favourite flavours,
didn't I, Dad?

I've always found it repulsive,
Darren, as you know.

Yeah. It's not for everyone.

I's for most people
but I wouldn't say for everyone.

So, here's your Italian dish.

So, Darren, just lastly,
who is your Sinner for Dinner?

Well, you. You, obviously.

With Shona's deadline looming,

I was hoping like heck that Hari
would be able to save my bacon.

And like any good political fixer,

Hari wasn't afraid
to get his hands dirty.

Blrrrgh.

Now, I don't agree
with breaking and entering,

but Hari did make
a pretty full-on discovery.

The plan was in full swing.

Hari was taking care of Shona

while we were about to pull out
the family Bellows show stopper,

Sinner for Dinner.

Really exciting, so...

And with Carol there
to capture it all on video,

it turned out to be
an unforgettable evening.

Well, here we are
for Sinner for Dinner.

So, basically how this works is
each of the Bellows family members,

we invite a sinner.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Oh, that will be my Sinner.
This will be Belinda's Sinner.

OK. You go get them, darling.

And, so we break bread
with the sinners,

or in this case it's pizza bread

with a bit of spaghetti and pineapple
on the top, isn't it?

Yes...

Then we just go round the table
and we confess our sin

of varying degrees.

Everybody. This is Shona, my sinner.

I met her at the policy launch
and she was a, um...

You've got 48 hours or you
are in for a very nasty surprise.

You can say it. A prostitute.
A prostitute.

She's reformed. And, welcome.

Our very own Mary Magdalene.

Welcome.
Welcome, Shona.

Thank you so much for having me.

OK, uh, let's serve up.
OK.

Here you go...

While I was going through
my own personal hell

at least Hari was making progress
back at Shona's place.

Shane Bubbler, you snake.

SHONA: Your father has made a hell
of a lot of enemies over the years

and my client is one of them.

Does that make you
the anti-wank party?

Wank party, wank party...

Hari may have just found the smoking
gun he'd been looking for.

Lord, bless this beautiful food
we have in front of us,

in your name we say thanks, Amen.

ALL: Amen.

Belinda...

..would you like to share first?
OK. OK. I'll go first.

I prayed for a car park.

I know the lord has bigger things
on his plate than me

and needing a car park

but it was 6:00pm and there were
a lot of shoppers and I'm sorry.

OK, thank you, Belinda. Darren.

OK. Yes. Oh, God, where was I?

I was at the supermarket

and someone said, "How are you?"

and I said, "Not bad,"
which was a lie.

So that's my sin.

So, maybe...

You probably
don't want to say anything.

Let Shona share, please.
Carol, would you like to start?

Darren, please. Let Shona speak.
She's here to share her sins.

Thank you, Rev.
Thank you, Shona. Please carry on.

Well, when I think back

on the numerous sexual encounters
that I have had.

Me with men, me with women,
me with men who are with other men,

me with women
who are with other women,

me with women who were men, me
with men who wanted to be women

I mean, there was one time

where a man paid me to suck his toes
OK...

and he made me keep sucking until
that little piggy came to market.

OK.

That market was the top of my head
and that's where he came.

OK. No, thank you.
Thank you for your sin.

Carol, have you got one to share?

Your sin?

My sin.

Being at this table,

compromising
my journalistic integrity.

(MUMBLES ANGRILY)

Well, in 1979...

No. We don't need to hear
the horrendous story.

Not the 1979 story, Gordon.

We don't need to...
We don't need to hear it.

I'd been drinking for three days.
No, no, no, we don't need to...

No, thank you. It's all good.

Bless you, Gordon. Bless you.

Perhaps I should take on the mantle
in fact, thank you, Shona,

for showing me
the sins that I need to work on.

To do more
to combat this pestilence,

this filth in our society.

I stand before you and say that,

that is what I shall be doing,

that is the cross that I will bear.

Thank you for sharing.
Amen.

Thank you for showing me, Amen.

Amen Lord.

I guess we should eat up.

Enjoy the pizza, guys.

Reverend, if I could just make
a couple more confessions

I think I would feel
like a better Christian.

Of course, of course, it is
after all, Sinner for Dinner.

Not necessary.
Darren.

It's just that
I enjoyed making those women orgasm.

I enjoyed it
when they made me orgasm.

There are a lot of things
that I have done for money

that I actually enjoyed.

And, you know it's, there was this
one really absurd one

where a man paid me
to dress up like his mother.

What? No, no, no, no.

And so he would pay me to dress up
as her and he would just wank off.

I would just work out while he would
just wank himself off.

(THUMPING THE TABLE)
I think we've heard enough.
I think we've heard enough.

I think we've heard quite enough.

Look. You know what?

I think, what was your name, sorry?
Shona.

Shona, thank you, Shona.

I think the Sinner for Dinner
is over.

We should probably ask you to leave,
I think that you've...

Well, it has been so nice
meeting you.

I'm going to miss you.
I'm going to miss you.

Thank you for a wonderful evening.
That's probably enough for that.

Yeah, OK.

You're not a professional...

You're not a professional...

You are an absolute monster coming
into my family home, what are you...?

Listen, Darren. This has been fun.
OK? This has been so much fun.

I don't even know
what fun I'm going to have next.

Maybe I'm going to tell Belinda.

Maybe that's the sort of fun
I'm going to have. I don't know.

Don't. Please.

There's one way
you can make all of this go away.

Just get rid of the Reverend.

OK.

Oh, hi.

Wow. Thank you so much...
so much for doing that.

Yeah. You're welcome, yes.

The money, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course. Here you go.

Just... Just...

I might just take the memory stick
clippy thingy.

Uh, footage, raw footage.

Yeah. I'll just get Belinda
to edit it, it'll be easier,
and all that kind of stuff.

Thank you so much. Thanks, guys.

It was awesome.
Goodnight.

Goodnight to you too.

(CAROL TALKS INDISTINCTLY)

I'm so sorry. I thought
she was more reformed than that.

I'm sorry.
It was a terrible decision.

You don't need to be sorry, Belinda.
You don't need to be sorry.

It's, um...

It's me that needs to be sorry.

I know that woman.

She's blackmailing me, Belinda.

Here I am
in the Glenderson electorate.

I'm going around
handing out my flyers.

Who's that handsome...?

Most of the photos were
unfortunately of me blinking.

I did find that one trick
to do with eyes,

was when you close your eyes

and when Belinda takes a photo
you open your eyes

and so sometimes you can look
a little bit startled when you do it

but sometimes it turns out
just like that.

So, please, if you're
thinking about voting for CUP Party,

can I...
I can not recommend it enough.

Please vote for Darren Bellows
for the CUP Party, please.

Please.

Captions by Red Bee Media
(c) SBS Australia 2021