Sextortion (2020): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Warlock - full transcript
With the public becoming aware of a political sex scandal the pressure mounts.
She's blackmailing me, Belinda.
Darren, I don't...
(STAMMERS)
They want me to get rid of Dad
and they've got a video of me
and it's just going to ruin
everything.
What kind of v-v-video, Darren?
It's a...a sexual video.
DARREN: It wasn't always like this
between me and Belinda.
Sure, uh, neither of us
were from happy homes
but when we were together,
everything just felt perfect.
Hey, um, I've got something
I want to say to you, Belinda.
Are you breaking up with me?
No. Not at all.
I just, um, I was wondering if you
could just maybe stand up for this
and it'll make this whole thing
better.
OK.
I called your mum at rehab,
and she said it was OK if I...
..asked you to be my wife and make me
the happiest man that's ever been.
What do you say?
Yes?
Oh, god.
Oh, great.
Oh, sorry no, no, no.
Push it a little bit.
No. No. It's just stuck
on your knuckle, honey.
It's just stuck on your knuckle. OK.
I'll do it. I'll do it.
No. I don't think maybe...
I don't think... Maybe...
No, no, no, no, I just...
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
Honey, I think maybe we should take
this off because it's gone purple.
Your finger has gone purple.
It doesn't matter.
Belinda's commitment has always been
really impressive...
No. No. No. Oh, god.
..even when it hurt.
Of course Belinda was devastated when
the doctor had to cut the ring off.
But when I glued the leftover
pieces to her mum's crucifix,
she was over the moon.
She always said
it was one-of-a-kind, just like me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Belinda.
I'm so sorry that I've done this.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm sick. I'm sick.
I hate myself so much right now
and I love you so much.
Could you ever forgive me?
The lord is merciful.
But what are we going to do?
This could ruin everything.
I don't know what to do.
Darren, you do know what to do.
Darren.
Get rid of...Dad?
We can just sort of phase him out
just slowly, bit by bit.
OK.
Against all odds,
Belinda had stood by me.
Maybe together
we could find a way out of this.
It just all kind of came out.
I just said everything.
I told her absolutely everything
and she forgave me.
Really?
Yeah. She forgave it all.
I was like...
Are you sure?
Yeah, Yeah.
She knows like the whole thing?
Like, the years of sneaking around
and the lying
and all the weird stuff
with your mum and...
No. No. She forgave all that.
You know, she's a Christian woman,
she forgives.
I suppose.
Anyway, look what I found
when I broke into Shona's house.
What?
Yeah. Who cares?
She's blackmailing us.
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah. Just wait.
There. Bubbler's card.
And here's the back of it.
What?
"Talk soon."
And then, check this out,
this is from the policy launch.
I don't want to watch.
Yeah. Hang on. Hang on.
Look, it's coming up.
Back of the room.
Look, it's Bubbler.
And Shona.
They must be working together.
It all made perfect sense.
Bubbler's plan to torment me
was working like a charm,
with my sex tape becoming
a topic of national interest.
9:37. Matt and Jerry Show,
Radio Hauraki.
Matt, have you seen this political
sex tape that's doing the rounds?
I certainly have.
Seems like that guy's got
a bit of a thing for his mother.
Who do you think it is?
I wouldn't like to speculate,
uh, but give us a call now
0-800-HAURAKI
if you think you know who it is.
Who is this Mutha effer?
It was only a matter of time
until I was found out.
We needed to take out Bubbler
and Shona in one fell swoop.
And I couldn't think of anyone
better to do the job than Hari.
Pssst, Bubbler. Up here.
OK, Hari, you got two minutes.
What? Alright. Alright.
What do you reckon
about this sex tape stuff?
The one with the emojis?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's not the left,
they're all anti-smacking.
Yeah. So, who is it then?
I don't know. Who is it?
I think you know something.
I don't know anything.
What do you know about this?
I don't know, you just, what...?
Yeah, that's your card, isn't it?
Yeah.
Well,
what do you have to say about it?
You hand out your card, you go,
"Hi. I'm Bubbler, vote for me."
You handed that one
to someone very specific.
No. I hand them to everybody.
Play it like that, mate,
'cause I can play.
About what?
I can play all day.
As it turned out,
Bubbler was telling the truth.
He had nothing to do
with the blackmail,
he just used his card
as a way to hit on the ladies.
Jeez, is it you in the sex video?
Ha-ha, imagine that.
Or Darren. Imagine Darren.
It's not, is it?
What?
It's not Darren?
Darren who?
Don't be stupid.
Of course it's not Darren.
Is that Darren
in the sex video, Hari?
Shut up. No, it's not Darren.
Ohhhh, wow.
It's not Darren.
Wow. Look at your face.
OK, you know what?
This conversation is over.
You're a dick. No-one likes you.
See you, Hari.
Darren's in the sex video.
Thanks, Mummy. Thanks, Mummy.
Hari had just made
my worst nightmare
come true.
Darren! I love it. (CHUCKLES)
OK, action.
Oh, hi.
I didn't see you there for a second.
Hi. I'm Darren Bellows
and I'm the leader
of the Conservative Unity Party
of New Zealand.
A fucking disgrace.
Should I go first?
Oh, no. We thought that being
leader I should probably just be...
Let the Reverend...
let your father...
We are still passing on the mantle
so he should begin.
Just be quick.
Take it away. Action.
Hi. I'm Monty Bellows.
And I'm the founder
of the CUP Party.
Belinda had come up with a way
to cut Dad out of the picture...
..literally.
Cut.
How was that, Belinda? Good?
You have never looked better.
Just simple, to the point, boof.
See?
We were forging ahead
with a whole new CUP Party image.
VOICEOVER: Hi. I'm Darren Bellows.
And I'm the leader
of the Conservate Unity Party
of New Zealand.
(ECHOES) Repress...
..resist...
..rejoice.
Belinda was fast becoming
the Michelle to my Barack.
Rejoice. Rejoice.
Rejoice!
This is good.
That's good for your chin.
Great.
OK.
So big jump,
get close to Jesus. Yeah?
OK. Go?
And one, two, three.
No. Wait for 'action'.
Wait for 'action'.
Rejoice.
And, set. Action.
Rejoice!
You don't look
like you're rejoicing.
I feel embarrassed about it.
I think you should just...
It's my idea.
I don't know if it's working.
Hey, guys. Hey, um,
Darren, can I talk to you, please?
Alone?
Uh, Belinda is part of this now,
Hari.
We've got to keep her in the loop.
OK, um...
Well, it's definitely not Bubbler
who's blackmailing us.
Oh...
And he knows
it's you in the sex tape.
How?
How?
I hardly said anything, man.
He's like a warlock.
He just got it out of me,
I don't know.
Hari.
OK. So, what's the next move?
This is bad, Hari.
This is really bad.
Yup. Sure, it's a bit of a set back.
That's alright, though, we can,
um...
This is the worst.
It's alright. We can sort it out.
No. It's not alright, Hari.
We can spin this, you know.
We'll get some dirt on him,
we'll get dirt on Bubbler.
You need to go
and sort this out for us.
Yep.
Cool. Yeah. Yeah, good.
Oh, no.
Thanks to Hari,
the cat was out of the bag
and had run straight into the arms
of my biggest rival.
(ON SEX TAPE) Punish me, Mummy.
Punish me, Mummy.
Do you think anyone's
going to think this is Bubbler?
Hey? Not at all.
(LAUGHS)
Nah, not even a chance.
Well, that's what we need to do.
We need to divert attention and make
people think this is Bubbler.
His face is gonna be too big.
I've got to fit it
over an emoji, man.
Can you do anything?
Uh...
Uh... I'll try.
Yeah?
I can try something
but this is pretty much
what it's going to look like.
Let me watch it again,
maybe it'll work.
Yeah, you watch it back again,
I reckon it's good, just as.
In trying to frame Bubbler
with a lie...
Ha. Looks good, eh?
..Hari had just discovered
an awkward truth.
I've got to go.
Eh?
Meanwhile, Belinda and I were trying
to take our minds
off the whole situation.
REVEREND: Belinda. Belinda.
What have you done with this?
I can't turn it on.
You had better watch that one.
Proverbs 21:19,
it is better
to live in a desert land
than with a quarrelsome,
fretful woman.
Belinda!
(PHONE CHIMES)
At this stage, Hari was the last
person I wanted to hear from.
But he was also my only hope.
What now, Hari?
Watch this.
I don't want to see this, Hari.
Darren, you really need to watch.
I'm so perverse, aren't I, Mummy?
OK. Now look at this.
Rejoice, repress, resist, rejoice.
What?
There's one person in the world,
Darren,
who uses that editing effect.
Belinda edited that.
Belinda edited this.
Belinda edited both videos, Darren.
You're saying
Belinda edited my sex tape.
Yes. Belinda, your wife.
Think about it.
Are you crazy, Hari?
No.
Just think about it. Who else
would want the Reverend gone?
Why the hell would she invite Shona
to Sinner for Dinner.
You're saying Belinda...
Yes, I know.
I'm sorry but it's true.
That's not true.
That is the most stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
It's not stupid.
Darren, I'm your brother,
I'm trying to help.
We're not brothers, Hari.
(SEX TAPE) Punish me, Mummy.
(LAUGHTER)
Punish me, Mummy, again.
(LAUGHS LOUDLY)
This is when I realised
I was all alone.
Today is a very, very important day
for me and Belinda,
who you guys have probably seen
and I found a great present for her.
Look it's a swan or a rooster
'cause it's like a cockscomb,
but I don't think it...
I don't think it is.
But anyways,
isn't that really lovely?
I'm going to wrap that up
and give that to Belinda.
And also I got
some cleaning products as well.
So...
And this is just, I guess
a shoutout to Belinda,
the love of my life.
Captions by Red Bee Media
(c) SBS Australia 2021
Darren, I don't...
(STAMMERS)
They want me to get rid of Dad
and they've got a video of me
and it's just going to ruin
everything.
What kind of v-v-video, Darren?
It's a...a sexual video.
DARREN: It wasn't always like this
between me and Belinda.
Sure, uh, neither of us
were from happy homes
but when we were together,
everything just felt perfect.
Hey, um, I've got something
I want to say to you, Belinda.
Are you breaking up with me?
No. Not at all.
I just, um, I was wondering if you
could just maybe stand up for this
and it'll make this whole thing
better.
OK.
I called your mum at rehab,
and she said it was OK if I...
..asked you to be my wife and make me
the happiest man that's ever been.
What do you say?
Yes?
Oh, god.
Oh, great.
Oh, sorry no, no, no.
Push it a little bit.
No. No. It's just stuck
on your knuckle, honey.
It's just stuck on your knuckle. OK.
I'll do it. I'll do it.
No. I don't think maybe...
I don't think... Maybe...
No, no, no, no, I just...
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
Honey, I think maybe we should take
this off because it's gone purple.
Your finger has gone purple.
It doesn't matter.
Belinda's commitment has always been
really impressive...
No. No. No. Oh, god.
..even when it hurt.
Of course Belinda was devastated when
the doctor had to cut the ring off.
But when I glued the leftover
pieces to her mum's crucifix,
she was over the moon.
She always said
it was one-of-a-kind, just like me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Belinda.
I'm so sorry that I've done this.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm sick. I'm sick.
I hate myself so much right now
and I love you so much.
Could you ever forgive me?
The lord is merciful.
But what are we going to do?
This could ruin everything.
I don't know what to do.
Darren, you do know what to do.
Darren.
Get rid of...Dad?
We can just sort of phase him out
just slowly, bit by bit.
OK.
Against all odds,
Belinda had stood by me.
Maybe together
we could find a way out of this.
It just all kind of came out.
I just said everything.
I told her absolutely everything
and she forgave me.
Really?
Yeah. She forgave it all.
I was like...
Are you sure?
Yeah, Yeah.
She knows like the whole thing?
Like, the years of sneaking around
and the lying
and all the weird stuff
with your mum and...
No. No. She forgave all that.
You know, she's a Christian woman,
she forgives.
I suppose.
Anyway, look what I found
when I broke into Shona's house.
What?
Yeah. Who cares?
She's blackmailing us.
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah. Just wait.
There. Bubbler's card.
And here's the back of it.
What?
"Talk soon."
And then, check this out,
this is from the policy launch.
I don't want to watch.
Yeah. Hang on. Hang on.
Look, it's coming up.
Back of the room.
Look, it's Bubbler.
And Shona.
They must be working together.
It all made perfect sense.
Bubbler's plan to torment me
was working like a charm,
with my sex tape becoming
a topic of national interest.
9:37. Matt and Jerry Show,
Radio Hauraki.
Matt, have you seen this political
sex tape that's doing the rounds?
I certainly have.
Seems like that guy's got
a bit of a thing for his mother.
Who do you think it is?
I wouldn't like to speculate,
uh, but give us a call now
0-800-HAURAKI
if you think you know who it is.
Who is this Mutha effer?
It was only a matter of time
until I was found out.
We needed to take out Bubbler
and Shona in one fell swoop.
And I couldn't think of anyone
better to do the job than Hari.
Pssst, Bubbler. Up here.
OK, Hari, you got two minutes.
What? Alright. Alright.
What do you reckon
about this sex tape stuff?
The one with the emojis?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's not the left,
they're all anti-smacking.
Yeah. So, who is it then?
I don't know. Who is it?
I think you know something.
I don't know anything.
What do you know about this?
I don't know, you just, what...?
Yeah, that's your card, isn't it?
Yeah.
Well,
what do you have to say about it?
You hand out your card, you go,
"Hi. I'm Bubbler, vote for me."
You handed that one
to someone very specific.
No. I hand them to everybody.
Play it like that, mate,
'cause I can play.
About what?
I can play all day.
As it turned out,
Bubbler was telling the truth.
He had nothing to do
with the blackmail,
he just used his card
as a way to hit on the ladies.
Jeez, is it you in the sex video?
Ha-ha, imagine that.
Or Darren. Imagine Darren.
It's not, is it?
What?
It's not Darren?
Darren who?
Don't be stupid.
Of course it's not Darren.
Is that Darren
in the sex video, Hari?
Shut up. No, it's not Darren.
Ohhhh, wow.
It's not Darren.
Wow. Look at your face.
OK, you know what?
This conversation is over.
You're a dick. No-one likes you.
See you, Hari.
Darren's in the sex video.
Thanks, Mummy. Thanks, Mummy.
Hari had just made
my worst nightmare
come true.
Darren! I love it. (CHUCKLES)
OK, action.
Oh, hi.
I didn't see you there for a second.
Hi. I'm Darren Bellows
and I'm the leader
of the Conservative Unity Party
of New Zealand.
A fucking disgrace.
Should I go first?
Oh, no. We thought that being
leader I should probably just be...
Let the Reverend...
let your father...
We are still passing on the mantle
so he should begin.
Just be quick.
Take it away. Action.
Hi. I'm Monty Bellows.
And I'm the founder
of the CUP Party.
Belinda had come up with a way
to cut Dad out of the picture...
..literally.
Cut.
How was that, Belinda? Good?
You have never looked better.
Just simple, to the point, boof.
See?
We were forging ahead
with a whole new CUP Party image.
VOICEOVER: Hi. I'm Darren Bellows.
And I'm the leader
of the Conservate Unity Party
of New Zealand.
(ECHOES) Repress...
..resist...
..rejoice.
Belinda was fast becoming
the Michelle to my Barack.
Rejoice. Rejoice.
Rejoice!
This is good.
That's good for your chin.
Great.
OK.
So big jump,
get close to Jesus. Yeah?
OK. Go?
And one, two, three.
No. Wait for 'action'.
Wait for 'action'.
Rejoice.
And, set. Action.
Rejoice!
You don't look
like you're rejoicing.
I feel embarrassed about it.
I think you should just...
It's my idea.
I don't know if it's working.
Hey, guys. Hey, um,
Darren, can I talk to you, please?
Alone?
Uh, Belinda is part of this now,
Hari.
We've got to keep her in the loop.
OK, um...
Well, it's definitely not Bubbler
who's blackmailing us.
Oh...
And he knows
it's you in the sex tape.
How?
How?
I hardly said anything, man.
He's like a warlock.
He just got it out of me,
I don't know.
Hari.
OK. So, what's the next move?
This is bad, Hari.
This is really bad.
Yup. Sure, it's a bit of a set back.
That's alright, though, we can,
um...
This is the worst.
It's alright. We can sort it out.
No. It's not alright, Hari.
We can spin this, you know.
We'll get some dirt on him,
we'll get dirt on Bubbler.
You need to go
and sort this out for us.
Yep.
Cool. Yeah. Yeah, good.
Oh, no.
Thanks to Hari,
the cat was out of the bag
and had run straight into the arms
of my biggest rival.
(ON SEX TAPE) Punish me, Mummy.
Punish me, Mummy.
Do you think anyone's
going to think this is Bubbler?
Hey? Not at all.
(LAUGHS)
Nah, not even a chance.
Well, that's what we need to do.
We need to divert attention and make
people think this is Bubbler.
His face is gonna be too big.
I've got to fit it
over an emoji, man.
Can you do anything?
Uh...
Uh... I'll try.
Yeah?
I can try something
but this is pretty much
what it's going to look like.
Let me watch it again,
maybe it'll work.
Yeah, you watch it back again,
I reckon it's good, just as.
In trying to frame Bubbler
with a lie...
Ha. Looks good, eh?
..Hari had just discovered
an awkward truth.
I've got to go.
Eh?
Meanwhile, Belinda and I were trying
to take our minds
off the whole situation.
REVEREND: Belinda. Belinda.
What have you done with this?
I can't turn it on.
You had better watch that one.
Proverbs 21:19,
it is better
to live in a desert land
than with a quarrelsome,
fretful woman.
Belinda!
(PHONE CHIMES)
At this stage, Hari was the last
person I wanted to hear from.
But he was also my only hope.
What now, Hari?
Watch this.
I don't want to see this, Hari.
Darren, you really need to watch.
I'm so perverse, aren't I, Mummy?
OK. Now look at this.
Rejoice, repress, resist, rejoice.
What?
There's one person in the world,
Darren,
who uses that editing effect.
Belinda edited that.
Belinda edited this.
Belinda edited both videos, Darren.
You're saying
Belinda edited my sex tape.
Yes. Belinda, your wife.
Think about it.
Are you crazy, Hari?
No.
Just think about it. Who else
would want the Reverend gone?
Why the hell would she invite Shona
to Sinner for Dinner.
You're saying Belinda...
Yes, I know.
I'm sorry but it's true.
That's not true.
That is the most stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
It's not stupid.
Darren, I'm your brother,
I'm trying to help.
We're not brothers, Hari.
(SEX TAPE) Punish me, Mummy.
(LAUGHTER)
Punish me, Mummy, again.
(LAUGHS LOUDLY)
This is when I realised
I was all alone.
Today is a very, very important day
for me and Belinda,
who you guys have probably seen
and I found a great present for her.
Look it's a swan or a rooster
'cause it's like a cockscomb,
but I don't think it...
I don't think it is.
But anyways,
isn't that really lovely?
I'm going to wrap that up
and give that to Belinda.
And also I got
some cleaning products as well.
So...
And this is just, I guess
a shoutout to Belinda,
the love of my life.
Captions by Red Bee Media
(c) SBS Australia 2021