Secret Diary of a Call Girl (2007–2011): Season 4, Episode 6 - Episode #4.6 - full transcript
Belle returns from America to find Charlotte running the business. Furthermore Poppy has climbed into bed with Ben,giving Belle the wrong idea. She immerses herself in work,pleasuring a Japanese client who likes wrestling as well as winning back star client David from Charlotte. She also wins back Ben after Poppy admits he was innocent but this leads to him accusing Belle of double standards.
I suppose sometimes
you have to go far away.
Just so you can come back home.
♪ If I know you were cheating me
♪ I would have saved myself
and set you free
♪ If I learned you were...
When life knocks you down...
..the secret is to get straight back
in the ring.
(BELL)
Poppy, what are you doing?
Um...
I had a nightmare about my mom in
prison.
You can't just come in here like
this.
Please go back to bed.
Sorry.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl
Season 4, Episode 6
If there's one thing I've learned
from satisfying the escapist
fantasies of men,
it's that sometimes
the best way to deal with a problem
is not to deal with it.
Mmmm.
I'm suffering from jet lag you know.
Kat, hi.
The doctor's for three.
Says his thermometer is ready.
Bring some lube.
Amber.
Pack your bags.
Mr Walsh is taking you to Milan.
Ciao.
It's Italian, hon.
Yeah, Google some phrases.
Heather, hi.
Do you do Kate Bush?
No, no, love,
I think that's Kate Moss.
I can assure you we pride ourselves
on treating our customers with the
utmo...
Strangle you with a dog chain?
That doesn't...
Who was it you spoke to?
Charlotte.
This is the third message.
Can you call me back? As soon as.
Thanks.
(PHONE RINGS)
Discreet Elite.
'Hello.
I've been on your website and...
I'm only in town for one night.'
OK. Was there anyone you had in mind
to keep you company, Mr...?
'Watanabe.'
Mr What-and-be?
(BEEPING)
Can I call you back in one minute
on this number? 'OK.'
Thanks ever so much. Bye.
Charlotte.
What was the purpose of your call?
Did you assume control of the agency
whilst I was away?
I never assume control of anything.
I just take it.
Right, OK. Well,
I've come back to...
You've come back to a well-oiled
machine
and you're welcome, by the way.
OK, look, I'm sorry.
I've got a very upset and, frankly,
rather frightening client
who you've offered your own
distinctive brand of services.
Fear is a necessary impulse.
It keeps animals alive in the wild.
Can you just brief me on what's been
going on whilst I've been away?
Maybe we should meet up face to
fa...
Face.
That's weird.
Hi.
I don't have time for this.
My client will be here in a...
Ah. Now...
This is David.
I believe you know each other.
Hi.
Hi, Belle.
Going in for something slightly
harder these days, are you?
Excuse me.
It was you that first opened my eyes
to new...
possibilities. It was just...
You don't have to explain.
I mean, it's not like we're...
It's not like you've...
betrayed me or anything.
I've been really busy lately.
I'm actually running the agency at
the moment. In a manner of speaking.
And I've just got back from New
York,
which was fabulous.
Yeah.
I was there talking about a big
movie.
Yeah, a big hit Hollywood movie.
So I've been busy.
Wow! Really?
Mmm.
I'm really pleased for you.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Sorry.
We should be...
In you go.
(PHONE RINGS)
Mr Watanabe.
'Hi.' We talked earlier about a
possible booking for this afternoon.
'Ah, yes.'
Well, I've got
just the girl for you.
She's been away, but she's back.
And believe me,
she's our very best.
Is this your first time in London?
No. I'm here a lot on business.
I enjoy it though.
Fine dining, wonderful culture...
beautiful sights.
(SPEAKS JAPANESE)
You speak Japanese?
Well, I've been to Tokyo.
I work for Japanese whisky.
Want to try?
Yeah, sure.
Take ice?
No, no.
I take it straight up.
Ooh!
Mmm.
This is nice.
This is... Thank you very much.
It's so relaxing.
Relaxing?
We can do better than relaxing,
can't we?
Come on.
Listen.
Tell me what it is that secretly
gets you going.
Something that just makes your body
just, like explode with pleasure?
Er...
I don't know.
This is all it has ever been, really.
Just really good.
OK.
Well, really, really good
isn't good enough.
Sir, you've come to the right place.
We're gonna find out exactly
what it is that gets you going.
But I...
Shh... B-b-b...
Just let me think.
Toys? No?
Er...
No?
Don't worry. That's OK.
What about dressing up?
Or roleplay?
I could be some hard-arsed business
bitch
and you're here to...
hostile takeover.
OK. We can try.
No, no, no trying.
I know. What about the bathroom?
Yes!
It's the perfect place to lock
naughty, dirty people away.
Are you all right?
That's OK.
You're not bruised, are you? Or...
swollen?
I think someone might be
into a bit of wrestling?
I used to love watching female
championship wrestling as a boy.
OK.
Well, get ready for round one.
(BELL)
♪ THE 5.6.7.8's: Woo Hoo
Yeah!
(PHONE BEEPS)
(LAUGHS)
(BELL)
Sorry.
Wow. That was a...
The bruises I will have tomorrow.
Are you gonna get caught?
There is no-one to catch me out.
No girlfriend, no wife.
You don't sound
too bothered about that.
Well, no.
Like you, I think,
my passion is my work.
If I'm not the best at what I do,
then...
I'm not anything really.
Charlotte, are you in town?
I'd like you to bring your
commission in to me this evening.
We have some business...
pending.
(BELL TOLLS)
(GUNSHOT)
(GUNSHOT)
What can I get you ladies?
(GUNSHOT)
Singapore sling, pineapple juice
and a drop of Benedictine.
And for you?
Vod...ka.
Vod...ka? Just vodka?
Not even an ice and a slice?
Fine.
So I assume you're feeling wounded
by his disloyalty.
What?
Your client, David.
It's never happened to me, of
course, losing a client.
But I hear it is awful.
David knows I'm the best call girl
in this town.
(CHUCKLES)
What was that?
A laugh.
You need to work on that.
So, why, then, if you're exactly
what David needs,
did he book me and not you?
Because I've been busy.
But now I'm back.
Now that I am back,
he'll want me back.
Maybe you're not quite as good as
you think you are.
Maybe you're just threatened by me,
Charlotte?
It's you who are threatened, by me.
Because you know I'm the best.
Well, there's only one way to find
out, isn't there?
(GUNSHOT)
We'd lift this area...
..here.
(PHONE RINGS)
I am so sorry, Mrs Long,
I will just switch that...
Will you excuse me one minute?
Hello.
Hi. Um... I'm sorry
that things were awkward earlier.
No. I am so sorry.
It's just...
No, you don't have to explain.
I wondered
if I could make it up to you?
Maybe I'll see you later?
Later?
I missed you.
Lift this, this,
and the job's a good 'un.
OK, Mrs Long, I'll see you Friday.
(GUNSHOT)
Belle.
Hi.
Hi.
I think it's time
we moved it to the next level.
♪ Keep young and beautiful
♪ It's your duty to be beautiful
Oh, Belle.
That's so nice.
Ow. Charlotte.
That's it. OK.
Oh, wow.
Oh, Belle.
(CHOKES)
Oh, my god.
What's wrong?
What is it?
Oh, god.
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
David, sit!
No, no, no, please...
I just think, you know, it's fine.
You two just get on with it.
Oh, well, I'm off. No, we've got to
go and do something.
Why?
Because he's a really good...
He's a good guy and...
we have to think of something.
Such as?
Mmm.
I'm sorry about earlier.
This is exactly what I wanted.
You know...
you're the best.
Thank you.
Ow.
Well, I think he'll be back.
You have an impressive pelvic
thrust.
Oh.
And firm breasts.
Some of those moves you were pulling
in there...
you're not bad.
The truth is
I had heard you were good.
Your reputation precedes you.
I suppose we should have just...
..sorted this out in the beginning.
Instead of letting things drag on.
Speaking of which, there's a human
rights lawyer shackled to my boiler.
I suppose I should go
and release him.
Exactly.
Oh, you... OK.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm sure, I mean...
I should probably get home, too.
Hi, Ben, I'm home.
Hello, my girlfriend.
Welcome back to England.
Oh, Ben, I've missed you so terribly.
I'm so glad to be back.
Really? Have you?
That's odd. Cos it actually looked
like you got back this morning
and instead of crawling into bed with
me,
you apparently went to shag some
strangers instead.
Are you enjoying yourself?
What the fuck's going on?
Where the fuck have you been?
Really, the moral high ground, Ben?
I did come home this morning
intending
to crawl into bed with you, only,
what do I find?
What are you talking about?
Who's this sleeping in my bed?
Not fucking Goldilocks.
Christ, Hannah!
Christ, Hannah, exactly.
Do you want me to explain? No!
She got in without me knowing.
Fuck off.
It's amazing. I mean...
Ben, if you're gonna lie to me
at least do me the courtesy of
making it a good one.
I am not fucking lying.
She literally got into my bed.
I woke up and told her to get out.
What's going on?
Poppy, tell her. Tell her what?
Don't fuck around, Poppy. Tell her.
I don't want to hear it. You two can
do whatever the fuck it is you like.
Poppy!
What? I don't...
I just...
I'm sorry.
Ben didn't do anything.
I just... I got in and I got out.
Poppy, you can't do that!
I know. I'm sorry.
I won't do it again.
This is my house!
This is my life! You can't just...
Um...
I think maybe you should go back to
your mum's.
And no more skeletons
hiding in the closet.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Well, come on, you can see how I
might have got the wrong idea.
Well, yeah, fine.
If you hadn't just pissed off, as
always.
Not ignored what's going wrong here.
Ben, I'm just...
And do you know what?
Actually, forgive me if I don't find
this all slightly hypocritical,
me lying in bed with someone else.
Given what you do every single day...
Ben, I know. I'm sorry.
I am. I'm sorry, I mean it.
I just... I'm...
I was...
I was just fragile
and I was angry and I just...
I just wanted to be Belle for a bit
and not Hannah.
Oh, my god,
when are you gonna get it?
There is no Belle and
there is no Hannah. There's just you.
It's just you who won't stop fucking
this up.
It's just you
who doesn't know what you want.
And I am getting so sick and tired
of waiting around to find out if it's
gonna be me.
Oh, my god.
♪ Keep my love as light as a
feather...
I've got a client.
He likes roleplay, very specific.
Special delivery.
You're not angry?
No.
Some people make you care
whether you want to or not.
You can do anything you want.
What would you get up to
in "the city that never sleeps?"
This is your chance to win
a weekend of a lifetime
courtesy of
Virgin Holidays + Hip Hotels,
you and three friends can fly premium
economy to New York
and stay for three nights in a luxury
Manhattan boutique hotel.
You'll be served cocktails in CV
followed by dinner for four.
And if that isn't enough to tempt
you,
you'll also win ã2,000
so you can truly follow in Belle's
footsteps
and have the shopping spree
to end all shopping sprees.
Just answer the following question.
you have to go far away.
Just so you can come back home.
♪ If I know you were cheating me
♪ I would have saved myself
and set you free
♪ If I learned you were...
When life knocks you down...
..the secret is to get straight back
in the ring.
(BELL)
Poppy, what are you doing?
Um...
I had a nightmare about my mom in
prison.
You can't just come in here like
this.
Please go back to bed.
Sorry.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl
Season 4, Episode 6
If there's one thing I've learned
from satisfying the escapist
fantasies of men,
it's that sometimes
the best way to deal with a problem
is not to deal with it.
Mmmm.
I'm suffering from jet lag you know.
Kat, hi.
The doctor's for three.
Says his thermometer is ready.
Bring some lube.
Amber.
Pack your bags.
Mr Walsh is taking you to Milan.
Ciao.
It's Italian, hon.
Yeah, Google some phrases.
Heather, hi.
Do you do Kate Bush?
No, no, love,
I think that's Kate Moss.
I can assure you we pride ourselves
on treating our customers with the
utmo...
Strangle you with a dog chain?
That doesn't...
Who was it you spoke to?
Charlotte.
This is the third message.
Can you call me back? As soon as.
Thanks.
(PHONE RINGS)
Discreet Elite.
'Hello.
I've been on your website and...
I'm only in town for one night.'
OK. Was there anyone you had in mind
to keep you company, Mr...?
'Watanabe.'
Mr What-and-be?
(BEEPING)
Can I call you back in one minute
on this number? 'OK.'
Thanks ever so much. Bye.
Charlotte.
What was the purpose of your call?
Did you assume control of the agency
whilst I was away?
I never assume control of anything.
I just take it.
Right, OK. Well,
I've come back to...
You've come back to a well-oiled
machine
and you're welcome, by the way.
OK, look, I'm sorry.
I've got a very upset and, frankly,
rather frightening client
who you've offered your own
distinctive brand of services.
Fear is a necessary impulse.
It keeps animals alive in the wild.
Can you just brief me on what's been
going on whilst I've been away?
Maybe we should meet up face to
fa...
Face.
That's weird.
Hi.
I don't have time for this.
My client will be here in a...
Ah. Now...
This is David.
I believe you know each other.
Hi.
Hi, Belle.
Going in for something slightly
harder these days, are you?
Excuse me.
It was you that first opened my eyes
to new...
possibilities. It was just...
You don't have to explain.
I mean, it's not like we're...
It's not like you've...
betrayed me or anything.
I've been really busy lately.
I'm actually running the agency at
the moment. In a manner of speaking.
And I've just got back from New
York,
which was fabulous.
Yeah.
I was there talking about a big
movie.
Yeah, a big hit Hollywood movie.
So I've been busy.
Wow! Really?
Mmm.
I'm really pleased for you.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Sorry.
We should be...
In you go.
(PHONE RINGS)
Mr Watanabe.
'Hi.' We talked earlier about a
possible booking for this afternoon.
'Ah, yes.'
Well, I've got
just the girl for you.
She's been away, but she's back.
And believe me,
she's our very best.
Is this your first time in London?
No. I'm here a lot on business.
I enjoy it though.
Fine dining, wonderful culture...
beautiful sights.
(SPEAKS JAPANESE)
You speak Japanese?
Well, I've been to Tokyo.
I work for Japanese whisky.
Want to try?
Yeah, sure.
Take ice?
No, no.
I take it straight up.
Ooh!
Mmm.
This is nice.
This is... Thank you very much.
It's so relaxing.
Relaxing?
We can do better than relaxing,
can't we?
Come on.
Listen.
Tell me what it is that secretly
gets you going.
Something that just makes your body
just, like explode with pleasure?
Er...
I don't know.
This is all it has ever been, really.
Just really good.
OK.
Well, really, really good
isn't good enough.
Sir, you've come to the right place.
We're gonna find out exactly
what it is that gets you going.
But I...
Shh... B-b-b...
Just let me think.
Toys? No?
Er...
No?
Don't worry. That's OK.
What about dressing up?
Or roleplay?
I could be some hard-arsed business
bitch
and you're here to...
hostile takeover.
OK. We can try.
No, no, no trying.
I know. What about the bathroom?
Yes!
It's the perfect place to lock
naughty, dirty people away.
Are you all right?
That's OK.
You're not bruised, are you? Or...
swollen?
I think someone might be
into a bit of wrestling?
I used to love watching female
championship wrestling as a boy.
OK.
Well, get ready for round one.
(BELL)
♪ THE 5.6.7.8's: Woo Hoo
Yeah!
(PHONE BEEPS)
(LAUGHS)
(BELL)
Sorry.
Wow. That was a...
The bruises I will have tomorrow.
Are you gonna get caught?
There is no-one to catch me out.
No girlfriend, no wife.
You don't sound
too bothered about that.
Well, no.
Like you, I think,
my passion is my work.
If I'm not the best at what I do,
then...
I'm not anything really.
Charlotte, are you in town?
I'd like you to bring your
commission in to me this evening.
We have some business...
pending.
(BELL TOLLS)
(GUNSHOT)
(GUNSHOT)
What can I get you ladies?
(GUNSHOT)
Singapore sling, pineapple juice
and a drop of Benedictine.
And for you?
Vod...ka.
Vod...ka? Just vodka?
Not even an ice and a slice?
Fine.
So I assume you're feeling wounded
by his disloyalty.
What?
Your client, David.
It's never happened to me, of
course, losing a client.
But I hear it is awful.
David knows I'm the best call girl
in this town.
(CHUCKLES)
What was that?
A laugh.
You need to work on that.
So, why, then, if you're exactly
what David needs,
did he book me and not you?
Because I've been busy.
But now I'm back.
Now that I am back,
he'll want me back.
Maybe you're not quite as good as
you think you are.
Maybe you're just threatened by me,
Charlotte?
It's you who are threatened, by me.
Because you know I'm the best.
Well, there's only one way to find
out, isn't there?
(GUNSHOT)
We'd lift this area...
..here.
(PHONE RINGS)
I am so sorry, Mrs Long,
I will just switch that...
Will you excuse me one minute?
Hello.
Hi. Um... I'm sorry
that things were awkward earlier.
No. I am so sorry.
It's just...
No, you don't have to explain.
I wondered
if I could make it up to you?
Maybe I'll see you later?
Later?
I missed you.
Lift this, this,
and the job's a good 'un.
OK, Mrs Long, I'll see you Friday.
(GUNSHOT)
Belle.
Hi.
Hi.
I think it's time
we moved it to the next level.
♪ Keep young and beautiful
♪ It's your duty to be beautiful
Oh, Belle.
That's so nice.
Ow. Charlotte.
That's it. OK.
Oh, wow.
Oh, Belle.
(CHOKES)
Oh, my god.
What's wrong?
What is it?
Oh, god.
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
David, sit!
No, no, no, please...
I just think, you know, it's fine.
You two just get on with it.
Oh, well, I'm off. No, we've got to
go and do something.
Why?
Because he's a really good...
He's a good guy and...
we have to think of something.
Such as?
Mmm.
I'm sorry about earlier.
This is exactly what I wanted.
You know...
you're the best.
Thank you.
Ow.
Well, I think he'll be back.
You have an impressive pelvic
thrust.
Oh.
And firm breasts.
Some of those moves you were pulling
in there...
you're not bad.
The truth is
I had heard you were good.
Your reputation precedes you.
I suppose we should have just...
..sorted this out in the beginning.
Instead of letting things drag on.
Speaking of which, there's a human
rights lawyer shackled to my boiler.
I suppose I should go
and release him.
Exactly.
Oh, you... OK.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm sure, I mean...
I should probably get home, too.
Hi, Ben, I'm home.
Hello, my girlfriend.
Welcome back to England.
Oh, Ben, I've missed you so terribly.
I'm so glad to be back.
Really? Have you?
That's odd. Cos it actually looked
like you got back this morning
and instead of crawling into bed with
me,
you apparently went to shag some
strangers instead.
Are you enjoying yourself?
What the fuck's going on?
Where the fuck have you been?
Really, the moral high ground, Ben?
I did come home this morning
intending
to crawl into bed with you, only,
what do I find?
What are you talking about?
Who's this sleeping in my bed?
Not fucking Goldilocks.
Christ, Hannah!
Christ, Hannah, exactly.
Do you want me to explain? No!
She got in without me knowing.
Fuck off.
It's amazing. I mean...
Ben, if you're gonna lie to me
at least do me the courtesy of
making it a good one.
I am not fucking lying.
She literally got into my bed.
I woke up and told her to get out.
What's going on?
Poppy, tell her. Tell her what?
Don't fuck around, Poppy. Tell her.
I don't want to hear it. You two can
do whatever the fuck it is you like.
Poppy!
What? I don't...
I just...
I'm sorry.
Ben didn't do anything.
I just... I got in and I got out.
Poppy, you can't do that!
I know. I'm sorry.
I won't do it again.
This is my house!
This is my life! You can't just...
Um...
I think maybe you should go back to
your mum's.
And no more skeletons
hiding in the closet.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Well, come on, you can see how I
might have got the wrong idea.
Well, yeah, fine.
If you hadn't just pissed off, as
always.
Not ignored what's going wrong here.
Ben, I'm just...
And do you know what?
Actually, forgive me if I don't find
this all slightly hypocritical,
me lying in bed with someone else.
Given what you do every single day...
Ben, I know. I'm sorry.
I am. I'm sorry, I mean it.
I just... I'm...
I was...
I was just fragile
and I was angry and I just...
I just wanted to be Belle for a bit
and not Hannah.
Oh, my god,
when are you gonna get it?
There is no Belle and
there is no Hannah. There's just you.
It's just you who won't stop fucking
this up.
It's just you
who doesn't know what you want.
And I am getting so sick and tired
of waiting around to find out if it's
gonna be me.
Oh, my god.
♪ Keep my love as light as a
feather...
I've got a client.
He likes roleplay, very specific.
Special delivery.
You're not angry?
No.
Some people make you care
whether you want to or not.
You can do anything you want.
What would you get up to
in "the city that never sleeps?"
This is your chance to win
a weekend of a lifetime
courtesy of
Virgin Holidays + Hip Hotels,
you and three friends can fly premium
economy to New York
and stay for three nights in a luxury
Manhattan boutique hotel.
You'll be served cocktails in CV
followed by dinner for four.
And if that isn't enough to tempt
you,
you'll also win ã2,000
so you can truly follow in Belle's
footsteps
and have the shopping spree
to end all shopping sprees.
Just answer the following question.