Secret Diary of a Call Girl (2007–2011): Season 4, Episode 7 - Episode #4.7 - full transcript
After Poppy has moved back to her mother's house Belle goes to a hotel for a vampire role play with film critic Ambrose but he literally dies on the job. In a panic Belle rings Ben but,after their recent cooling off,he has accepted a platonic date with Poppy. The appearance of Harry provides Belle with a shoulder to cry on but she resists his advances and returns to Ben.
Detective Sergeant Harry Keegan.
Yeah, I know.
I just spoke to Stephanie.
Tame copper.
- I want to book you.
- What time did you have in mind?
Oh, you'll know when it starts,
(Laughs)
(Harry) Yeah.
We're the same, you and me.
Our relationships...
they're fine.
But they're not real.
You two can do whatever
the fuck it is you like!
She literally got into my bed, I literally
woke up and told her to literally get out.
This is my house! This is my life!
I think maybe you should
go back to your mum's.
I'm sorry.
You might really, really want
what Ben can give you...
(Panting)
..but you need... what I can give you.
So, this is it.
Look, I know what I said inside, but, erm...
if you want to stay for a couple more days...
Oh, it's fine. I'll be fine.
Everything's fine.
Seems silly to leave Mum's big,
old house standing empty.
If you need anything, anything at all, you just...
I'll manage.
Big girl.
- All grown up.
- Of course you are.
Bye.
- Busy day?
- Yep.
But you know what?
I can reschedule.
Because today I just...
I don't want to go to work.
I'd rather spend the day with my...
gorgeous boyfriend.
- That's you, by the way.
- Thanks. Love to. Can't.
- Have you seen the bar keys anywhere?
- Well, what if you were ill, you know?
Something bad but completely realistic,
like bird flu or bubonic plague.
Then I just... I could take care ofyou.
Picture of health.
Fine. Then I'll just call them and
tell them you've been kidnapped,
and that it's gonna take...
one whole day for me
to find the ransom money.
- Because I'm worth it, right?
- Of course you are.
Then we'll just have to work
on that trust thing.
(Sighs)
Come on, we finally got the place
to ourselves. Let's just have some fun.
You know, be bad with me.
- Be bad with me.
- Go to work, Han.
(French dialogue)
So, what have I missed?
Er, a bit of angst, lots of smoking.
- So...
- I followed you.
Right.
- You're not angry?
- No.
I've never had a stalker before.
Erm... I just wanted to say sorry.
I sort of messed things up for you, didn't I?
It wasn't ideal.
And I was hoping that we could...
you know, start again.
Forget the whole bed stunt
and try the friends thing.
(Man snoring)
I never did grudges.
Truce?
Truce.
(She sighs)
(Snoring)
(Snoring continues)
(Giggling)
Oh!
Hi.
Hi.
Up? Or were you planning on going down?
(She sighs)
No. Allow me.
So, is this a permanent career choice,
or are you just moonlighting?
What can I say?
Living the dream one floor at a time.
You know, I called, and you didn't.
- Hope you're not trying to avoid me.
- You know how it is. Busy, busy.
I've got a client.
He likes role-play, very specific.
You take instruction so well.
(Moaning)
This is nice.
- Expensive?
- Very.
(Laughs) Sometimes it's good to blend in.
Does that mean you're...undercover?
(Laughs)
- Usually women find my job a turn-on.
- Aw, must be hellish foryou.
- Thanks for being so understanding.
- (Lift bell pings)
You know, I think this is
where you...get off.
Yeah.
Why is it that people
just love to dress up?
And we're all guilty, a new haircut,
that make-up we can't really afford,
just the little things we do
to try and turn ourselves into someone else,
or to find that day, that hour,
that moment that makes us
feel like we're really living,
because let's face it...
reality can be so overrated.
(Bell tolling)
(Gasps)
(Shakily) He's here!
Special delivery.
How very mysterious.
Help me with the coffin.
(Straining)
(Man) Ow! Oh. Oh.
Now I'm feeling very faint.
- Make sure we're not disturbed.
- Of course.
(Gasps)
(Sighs)
(Hisses)
(Groaning)
(Menacing laugh)
(Laughing)
(Laughing)
Now.
- Now!
- Oh, sorry.
This is Ambrose -
a highly regarded serious film critic from
a magazine you probably buy every week.
He has a passion for old horror movies,
(Roars)
And little old me, of course,
(Thunder crashes)
(Wolf howling)
Oh, the...
(Laughs)
Oh, the children of the night.
What music they make!
(Moans)
Who are you?
What do you want from me?
Do not be afraid.
I am Dracule!
- And I have come for you, my child.
- No.
Soon you will know what it is
to have me in habit your very soul!
But first...you must sleep.
Slee-ee-eep!
(Menacing laugh)
And the Academy Award for
Best Supporting Actress goes to...
- (Wolfhowling)
- Ah...
So? What did you think?
Well, if they did it in 3-D.
You know, with the glasses, like Avatar.
(Laughs) Philistine.
- You want some?
- No, I'm... I'm fine.
Actually, I should probably get going.
Well, or we could just...
hang out.
I was gonna go
and meet some uni friends later.
There's this cool place on the South Bank.
- They don't bite, honest.
- I should get back.
I... I promised to spend the day with Han.
Or rather, she, er, offered.
Sure. That's fine.
Er, no problem.
Then I guess I'll just see you around?
Yeah. I'll definitely see you around.
Oh.
- Bye, then.
- Bye, then.
How's your son Gabriel finding
Oxford's dreaming spires?
You know, I often wonder what
that would've been like. Just...
partying and punting and...
you know, other things beginning with "P".
(Clears throat)
Wakey, wakey, Count D. Tea's up.
Hello?
Ambrose, anyone home? You all right?
Erm...
(Grunts)
Ambrose?
Ambrose.
(Phone rings)
Ben, er...
Shit. I can't talk now.
No, ofcourse you can't.
Fuck!
Belle.
(Grunts)
Hi, this is Ben, leave me a message,
Ben, it's me. Erm...
I don't know... I don't know where I am.
Something's happened.
It's fine. I'm fine.
Can you give me a call
when you get this, please?
You OK?
He...
He died. Oh, God.
I didn't think that you'd come.
- Neither did I.
- (Laughs)
(He sighs)
- I shouldn't have come. I...
- Well, then why did you?
Sometimes it's hard to hold on
to the person you love
when they're never fucking there.
- You still love her.
- I've always loved her.
That's the problem.
Well, I suppose...
people want what they want.
Well, maybe you just don't get a choice.
Yeah, like family.
- You all right?
- (Sighs) Yes.
Hey.
No, you're all right.
Your need is greater than mine.
All right.
His son had just got into Oxford.
He was so proud of him,
you wouldn't have believed it.
(Sighs) He was funny, Harry.
(Laughs) Hejust...
he just had this silly little thing
he liked to do, and I helped him do it.
You know, some people get to you.
Some people make you care...
whether you want to or not.
He wasn't even 40.
I mean, that's not even half a life.
(Sighs)
At least he got the best half.
I mean, think about it. Never have to see
that first grey hair in the mirror.
Never have to get up in the
middle oft he night and pee.
(Chuckles)
Never have to watch the Antiques Roadshow.
- (Groans)
- (Laughs)
Yeah, but you never get to see your son
graduate. I mean, it's just too sad.
Yeah. Life's a bitch.
Come on. I want to show you something.
(Sighs)
(Sighs)
(Belle) Ben, It's me, Erm.,,
I don't... I don't know where I am.
Something's happened,
(Sobbing) Can you give me a call
when you get this, please,?
Shit!
(Laughs)
More games?
A surprise.
(She chuckles)
Ow!
(Phone rings)
My phone's ringing.
Will you get my phone?
(Ringing continues)
Who is it?
Er, it's with held.
(Hangs up)
- (She laughs)
- Hmm.
What the fuck, Hannah?
- (Belle) Please, where are we?
- No, no.
- (Belle) Let me take it off.
- Give me a second.
- (Belle) Ooh!
- Whoa! Easy, tiger.
- (Laughs)
- OK.
- Now...
- (Laughs)
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh.
Allow me.
(Gasping)
I thought you could use
a little perspective.
It's cool, isn't it?
I mean, look at all those
people down there, just...
living their lives.
You ever wonder how they do it? You know,
wife, kids, Sunday lunch with the family.
All those things that are
supposed to make you happy.
- Well, maybe it does.
- You know, I used to look down on them.
Until I realised...
- they were the lucky ones.
- Oh! Harry!
You feel that, right?
Adrenaline. Heart beats a little faster,
eyes get a little wider.
But suddenly life gets sweeter.
And that is why I love coming up here.
It's where we belong.
Look. You can see it all.
You can feel it all.
You can be who you are.
- Look!
- No.
Oh, my God.
Why? Why fight it? I mean, we both need
more from life than the average Joe...
- or Ben.
- (Sighs)
- That's a cheap shot.
- It's the truth.
Because there really is nothing worse
than predictability.
I can't.
You can. You can do anything you want.
I've never lied to Ben. Never.
Just take me home.
(She groans)
Hannah, I'm really worried about you now.
So just call me when you get this, please.
What, no kiss good night?
I think we should just...
try and do that good friends thing.
(Chuckles)
You best go home, Belle.
Yeah.
- Shit, Han.
- It's OK, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Who's that?
- No one.
- Your message scared me.
- It was just... I freaked out.
- It was a client. It was nothing.
- (Sighs)
This isn't you, Hannah.
Fuck.
Just kiss me, Ben, please.
Please kiss me.
Please.
You OK?
Yeah. Everything's OK.
Everything's fine.
So, what can I do for you today?
You're really a natural at this game.
You were born for it.
Every decision has consequences,
I love you, Hannah.
I want to build a future with you.
(Belle) I shouldn't be doing this,
You shouldn't resist
what you know you want.
I know what I want - you.
And there's always a day of reckoning,
It's your decision, Han.
Who do you want to be?
Yeah, I know.
I just spoke to Stephanie.
Tame copper.
- I want to book you.
- What time did you have in mind?
Oh, you'll know when it starts,
(Laughs)
(Harry) Yeah.
We're the same, you and me.
Our relationships...
they're fine.
But they're not real.
You two can do whatever
the fuck it is you like!
She literally got into my bed, I literally
woke up and told her to literally get out.
This is my house! This is my life!
I think maybe you should
go back to your mum's.
I'm sorry.
You might really, really want
what Ben can give you...
(Panting)
..but you need... what I can give you.
So, this is it.
Look, I know what I said inside, but, erm...
if you want to stay for a couple more days...
Oh, it's fine. I'll be fine.
Everything's fine.
Seems silly to leave Mum's big,
old house standing empty.
If you need anything, anything at all, you just...
I'll manage.
Big girl.
- All grown up.
- Of course you are.
Bye.
- Busy day?
- Yep.
But you know what?
I can reschedule.
Because today I just...
I don't want to go to work.
I'd rather spend the day with my...
gorgeous boyfriend.
- That's you, by the way.
- Thanks. Love to. Can't.
- Have you seen the bar keys anywhere?
- Well, what if you were ill, you know?
Something bad but completely realistic,
like bird flu or bubonic plague.
Then I just... I could take care ofyou.
Picture of health.
Fine. Then I'll just call them and
tell them you've been kidnapped,
and that it's gonna take...
one whole day for me
to find the ransom money.
- Because I'm worth it, right?
- Of course you are.
Then we'll just have to work
on that trust thing.
(Sighs)
Come on, we finally got the place
to ourselves. Let's just have some fun.
You know, be bad with me.
- Be bad with me.
- Go to work, Han.
(French dialogue)
So, what have I missed?
Er, a bit of angst, lots of smoking.
- So...
- I followed you.
Right.
- You're not angry?
- No.
I've never had a stalker before.
Erm... I just wanted to say sorry.
I sort of messed things up for you, didn't I?
It wasn't ideal.
And I was hoping that we could...
you know, start again.
Forget the whole bed stunt
and try the friends thing.
(Man snoring)
I never did grudges.
Truce?
Truce.
(She sighs)
(Snoring)
(Snoring continues)
(Giggling)
Oh!
Hi.
Hi.
Up? Or were you planning on going down?
(She sighs)
No. Allow me.
So, is this a permanent career choice,
or are you just moonlighting?
What can I say?
Living the dream one floor at a time.
You know, I called, and you didn't.
- Hope you're not trying to avoid me.
- You know how it is. Busy, busy.
I've got a client.
He likes role-play, very specific.
You take instruction so well.
(Moaning)
This is nice.
- Expensive?
- Very.
(Laughs) Sometimes it's good to blend in.
Does that mean you're...undercover?
(Laughs)
- Usually women find my job a turn-on.
- Aw, must be hellish foryou.
- Thanks for being so understanding.
- (Lift bell pings)
You know, I think this is
where you...get off.
Yeah.
Why is it that people
just love to dress up?
And we're all guilty, a new haircut,
that make-up we can't really afford,
just the little things we do
to try and turn ourselves into someone else,
or to find that day, that hour,
that moment that makes us
feel like we're really living,
because let's face it...
reality can be so overrated.
(Bell tolling)
(Gasps)
(Shakily) He's here!
Special delivery.
How very mysterious.
Help me with the coffin.
(Straining)
(Man) Ow! Oh. Oh.
Now I'm feeling very faint.
- Make sure we're not disturbed.
- Of course.
(Gasps)
(Sighs)
(Hisses)
(Groaning)
(Menacing laugh)
(Laughing)
(Laughing)
Now.
- Now!
- Oh, sorry.
This is Ambrose -
a highly regarded serious film critic from
a magazine you probably buy every week.
He has a passion for old horror movies,
(Roars)
And little old me, of course,
(Thunder crashes)
(Wolf howling)
Oh, the...
(Laughs)
Oh, the children of the night.
What music they make!
(Moans)
Who are you?
What do you want from me?
Do not be afraid.
I am Dracule!
- And I have come for you, my child.
- No.
Soon you will know what it is
to have me in habit your very soul!
But first...you must sleep.
Slee-ee-eep!
(Menacing laugh)
And the Academy Award for
Best Supporting Actress goes to...
- (Wolfhowling)
- Ah...
So? What did you think?
Well, if they did it in 3-D.
You know, with the glasses, like Avatar.
(Laughs) Philistine.
- You want some?
- No, I'm... I'm fine.
Actually, I should probably get going.
Well, or we could just...
hang out.
I was gonna go
and meet some uni friends later.
There's this cool place on the South Bank.
- They don't bite, honest.
- I should get back.
I... I promised to spend the day with Han.
Or rather, she, er, offered.
Sure. That's fine.
Er, no problem.
Then I guess I'll just see you around?
Yeah. I'll definitely see you around.
Oh.
- Bye, then.
- Bye, then.
How's your son Gabriel finding
Oxford's dreaming spires?
You know, I often wonder what
that would've been like. Just...
partying and punting and...
you know, other things beginning with "P".
(Clears throat)
Wakey, wakey, Count D. Tea's up.
Hello?
Ambrose, anyone home? You all right?
Erm...
(Grunts)
Ambrose?
Ambrose.
(Phone rings)
Ben, er...
Shit. I can't talk now.
No, ofcourse you can't.
Fuck!
Belle.
(Grunts)
Hi, this is Ben, leave me a message,
Ben, it's me. Erm...
I don't know... I don't know where I am.
Something's happened.
It's fine. I'm fine.
Can you give me a call
when you get this, please?
You OK?
He...
He died. Oh, God.
I didn't think that you'd come.
- Neither did I.
- (Laughs)
(He sighs)
- I shouldn't have come. I...
- Well, then why did you?
Sometimes it's hard to hold on
to the person you love
when they're never fucking there.
- You still love her.
- I've always loved her.
That's the problem.
Well, I suppose...
people want what they want.
Well, maybe you just don't get a choice.
Yeah, like family.
- You all right?
- (Sighs) Yes.
Hey.
No, you're all right.
Your need is greater than mine.
All right.
His son had just got into Oxford.
He was so proud of him,
you wouldn't have believed it.
(Sighs) He was funny, Harry.
(Laughs) Hejust...
he just had this silly little thing
he liked to do, and I helped him do it.
You know, some people get to you.
Some people make you care...
whether you want to or not.
He wasn't even 40.
I mean, that's not even half a life.
(Sighs)
At least he got the best half.
I mean, think about it. Never have to see
that first grey hair in the mirror.
Never have to get up in the
middle oft he night and pee.
(Chuckles)
Never have to watch the Antiques Roadshow.
- (Groans)
- (Laughs)
Yeah, but you never get to see your son
graduate. I mean, it's just too sad.
Yeah. Life's a bitch.
Come on. I want to show you something.
(Sighs)
(Sighs)
(Belle) Ben, It's me, Erm.,,
I don't... I don't know where I am.
Something's happened,
(Sobbing) Can you give me a call
when you get this, please,?
Shit!
(Laughs)
More games?
A surprise.
(She chuckles)
Ow!
(Phone rings)
My phone's ringing.
Will you get my phone?
(Ringing continues)
Who is it?
Er, it's with held.
(Hangs up)
- (She laughs)
- Hmm.
What the fuck, Hannah?
- (Belle) Please, where are we?
- No, no.
- (Belle) Let me take it off.
- Give me a second.
- (Belle) Ooh!
- Whoa! Easy, tiger.
- (Laughs)
- OK.
- Now...
- (Laughs)
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh.
Allow me.
(Gasping)
I thought you could use
a little perspective.
It's cool, isn't it?
I mean, look at all those
people down there, just...
living their lives.
You ever wonder how they do it? You know,
wife, kids, Sunday lunch with the family.
All those things that are
supposed to make you happy.
- Well, maybe it does.
- You know, I used to look down on them.
Until I realised...
- they were the lucky ones.
- Oh! Harry!
You feel that, right?
Adrenaline. Heart beats a little faster,
eyes get a little wider.
But suddenly life gets sweeter.
And that is why I love coming up here.
It's where we belong.
Look. You can see it all.
You can feel it all.
You can be who you are.
- Look!
- No.
Oh, my God.
Why? Why fight it? I mean, we both need
more from life than the average Joe...
- or Ben.
- (Sighs)
- That's a cheap shot.
- It's the truth.
Because there really is nothing worse
than predictability.
I can't.
You can. You can do anything you want.
I've never lied to Ben. Never.
Just take me home.
(She groans)
Hannah, I'm really worried about you now.
So just call me when you get this, please.
What, no kiss good night?
I think we should just...
try and do that good friends thing.
(Chuckles)
You best go home, Belle.
Yeah.
- Shit, Han.
- It's OK, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Who's that?
- No one.
- Your message scared me.
- It was just... I freaked out.
- It was a client. It was nothing.
- (Sighs)
This isn't you, Hannah.
Fuck.
Just kiss me, Ben, please.
Please kiss me.
Please.
You OK?
Yeah. Everything's OK.
Everything's fine.
So, what can I do for you today?
You're really a natural at this game.
You were born for it.
Every decision has consequences,
I love you, Hannah.
I want to build a future with you.
(Belle) I shouldn't be doing this,
You shouldn't resist
what you know you want.
I know what I want - you.
And there's always a day of reckoning,
It's your decision, Han.
Who do you want to be?