Secret Diary of a Call Girl (2007–2011): Season 2, Episode 5 - Episode #2.5 - full transcript
Still unaware that his girlfriend is a prostitute, Alex walks in on her in bed with disabled client Blake, and flounces out in disgust, seeking confirmation from Ben of what is going on. After Ben has put him wise he returns to her flat but walks out again, leaving her in tears.
Some days you wake up and your head
is empty.
And it's the most perfect feeling
in the world.
Then other days it's like you've
been thinking all night.
Today.
I'm gonna tell Alex today.
(ALARM CLOCK)
Balls... Bollocks.
Bollocks, shit, fuck.
Alex, do you wake up swearing
every morning?
Swearing? I didn't realise
I was...swearing.
Fucking shit!
Alex, what are you...
What are you doing later?
Do you want to come over?
Like at your place?
Yeah.
I can make lunch or...dinner.
Something.
You mean dinner like cutlery dinner
or dinner crisps?
I would love to.
I'm working this afternoon,
I'm working tonight.
So is the invitation open
for tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
Can you not wait that long?
I can.
I can wait that long.
What are you doing this weekend
because my consultant
has invited me to a party in his
garden. Pimms and croquet and...
People called Rupert. It's gonna be
like the flaming fires of hell
but with a free bar.
Do you want to come?
Yeah.... Maybe.
Anyway, why don't
we just wait and see?
OK.
You're a funny little thing,
aren't you? Yeah.
So Alex invited me to this...
Work thing. Some barbecue
at his boss's house.
Weird thing is I actually
wanted to go.
Well, if it was as much fun
as lunch was
you shouldn't miss it.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Ben, what's with the golf?
It's golf.
Goff!
Will you stop saying goff?
Only if you stop playing it.
So it's going well with you two,
you and Alex?
Yeah. I'm gonna tell him.
Are you gonna say something?
You make me feel a bit nervous.
OK.
Why now?
I just feel like the lying
separates us.
It's like I'm looking at the world
through the wrong end
of the telescope.
Everyone just seems really far away.
Are you gonna give up?
I don't know.
I don't really know anything except
that I've got to tell him.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
Good luck.
Yeah, well...
I'm not seeing him till tomorrow.
I've got another client now.
The first one in 10 days.
In whore terms
I'm practically a virgin.
I couldn't let him down.
You're all heart.
See you later.
Is it better to find out
your girlfriend's a prostitute
on a full or empty stomach?
I've never wanted to cook for a man.
Not ever. Not until now.
My timing seems all off.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
(DOOR BUZZER)
Don't judge me, Delia.
Hi.
You must be Blake.
And you are...?
My dad.
Oh. Come in.
So shall we get the formalities
over with?
Dad, can you get the envelope
out of the bag?
Thanks. Just wait here one minute,
I won't be a second.
Make yourselves at home.
Dad...
Sorry, mate.
Okey-dokey.
Up.
That OK?
Yeah.
Didn't you want me to help you
get...?
Or is...?
No, it's fine.
But could you undo your dungarees
a bit?
It looks like we're wearing
the same T-shirt. Oh.
Better?
Yeah.
So have you two talked about what
Blake can do
and...?
Yeah, e-mail.
OK. Bye.
I'll be downstairs in the van if...
You need me.
Bye.
Oh, I'll just leave it just in case
he wanted...
Seems nice.
I don't mean like that. I just mean
I think it's nice
when...men kiss.
Would you like a drink?
Yeah, he's a good guy.
We go to a lot of gigs together.
That's why it may have looked like
we were wearing the same T-shirt.
But we're not.
Shall I...?
Please.
You have lovely eyes.
(SWITCHES RADIO ON)
# HANDEL:
Arrival of the Queen of Sheba
(SWITCHES RADIO OFF)
(TOOTS HORN BY ACCIDENT)
Blake, can you feel that?
Yeah.
Is it so uncomfortable
what I'm doing?
No... No.
It's just...I'm not that used
to being touched.
I mean I'm touched all the time
by my dad and PAs.
Just not like that.
Shall I take your shirt off?
That's it.
Don't.
If you do that, it feels like porn.
Like in not a real girl.
Last time I had a girlfriend
I was 17.
Before my body stopped co-operating.
I know what to do.
You know, to you and that.
But I don't know what feels good
any more.
I can't really...
Touch yourself?
No.
What about music?
What about it?
What kind of music
makes you think about sex?
Come on. Everyone has one of those.
OK. There's this song.
On my MP3 Player in my bag?
OK.
It's the first track
on the second playlist.
It's folk. Well, folky.
(SWITCHES MP3 PLAYER ON)
# RYAN ADAMS : Come Pick Me Up
# When they call your name
# Will you walk right up
# With a smile on your face
# Will you cower in fear
# In your favourite sweater
# With an old love letter...
Say I'm your girl.
You're not, though.
You're just some money
my dad's paid to sleep with me.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
- That's OK.
I was afraid this was gonna happen.
Opened the floodgates.
Made me want something I can't have.
Who says you can't have it?
Sorry.
It's OK. It's fine.
I can have it.
It's just hard.
Harder.
Falling in love.
Having a relationship.
Feels like something that happens
to other people.
# When you're walking downtown
# Do you wish I was there
# Do you wish it was me #
It's fine.
Sometimes sex with strangers can
make you feel lonelier than ever.
Now you feel like a real girl.
I am a real girl.
My name's Hannah.
Hi, Hannah.
Am I gonna hurt you?
No.
# COUNTING CROWS : Colourblind
# I am covered in skin
# No-one gets to come in
# Pull me out from inside #
Hannah?
Get out.
Get out. Get out!
Sorry, I'm so sorry.
My phone's in my pocket.
Tomorrow, you said tomorrow!
What the fuck is going on?
What the...?
You should have just said.
If it was the end of the
appointment and someone was waiting.
What did he just say?
Can you...can you come up please?
Hannah's a prostitute. A working
girl, a hooker and a whore.
Did you fucking know that?
Of course you did.
Were you laughing at me
the whole time, the two of you?
No, I wasn't.
She... Whatever you think she is,
that's not her.
There's Hannah.
And there's Belle.
Belle?
She thought I was a punter.
Alex, don't. First time I met her
she called herself Belle.
Don't do this. She thought
I was a paying customer.
Fucking hell.
Alex, don't.
Don't what?
Don't do this.
I'm falling in love with that girl.
I'm going out with her,
I'm falling in love with her.
And I walk in.
And she's fucking some guy.
Some poor fucking guy
in a wheelchair.
Some dirty fucking bastard
in a wheelchair.
What?
Yeah. No, wait for the punchline.
It's hilarious.
The guy thinks
I'm her next customer.
He's had his shot
and now it's my go.
Yeah, go on, son.
Laugh.
Go on, laugh, cos
that's exactly what I'd do
if this happened to some other mug.
Oh, I would laugh.
Before I asked him
how could he be so fucking stupid?!
Alex... Listen to me.
It's just a job.
OK?
It's what she does.
It's not who she is.
What the fuck are you talking about?
That's my girlfriend!
What if it was your girlfriend
fucking other men for money
then fucking you?!
I'm sorry to be some boring
Catholic boy about all of this
but it's fucking disgusting.
I find it...
Fucking disgraceful.
What's wrong with you people?
What's wrong with you, Ben?
Do you think this is normal?
It's not.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
RECORDING:
'Hey, it's Alex. At the moment...'
(DOOR BUZZER)
Hello.
He left his MP3 Player.
OK. Come up.
Sorry.
No...
I swapped shifts with someone
to see her.
Yeah.
Do you think it's drugs,
why she does it?
She doesn't do drugs.
You'd think I'd know
if I was sleeping with a junkie.
Probably crawling with STIs.
No, Alex.
She's not like that.
And how would you know?
You. You're in love with her.
I've got a girlfriend, Alex.
Yeah.
Yeah. So you do.
What's her name?
Vanessa.
Vanessa.
Poor Vanessa.
Cos I bet she knows it.
# ADELE 19 : Hometown Glory
# I've been working in the same way
# As I did
# Missing out the cracks
in the pavement
# And tutting my heel,
strutting my feet
# Is there anything
I can do for you dear
# Is there anyone I could call
# No and thank you, please, Madam
# I ain't lost, just wandering
# Round my home town
# Memories are fresh
# Round my home town
# Ooh, the people I've met
# Are the wonders of my world
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
# Are the wonders of my world
# Are the wonders of this world
Hello?
# Are the wonders...
Just checking.
Just checking if it's true.
And it is.
Isn't it...Belle?
# You get the people
and the government
# Everybody taking different sides
# Shows that we ain't gonna
stand shit
# Shows that we are united
# Shows that we ain't gonna take it
# Shows that we ain't gonna
stand shit
# Shows that we are united
# Round my home town
# Memories are fresh
# Round my home town
# Ooh, the people I've met
# Yeah #
transcript : chocolate (with one h :P)
sync : innuit
is empty.
And it's the most perfect feeling
in the world.
Then other days it's like you've
been thinking all night.
Today.
I'm gonna tell Alex today.
(ALARM CLOCK)
Balls... Bollocks.
Bollocks, shit, fuck.
Alex, do you wake up swearing
every morning?
Swearing? I didn't realise
I was...swearing.
Fucking shit!
Alex, what are you...
What are you doing later?
Do you want to come over?
Like at your place?
Yeah.
I can make lunch or...dinner.
Something.
You mean dinner like cutlery dinner
or dinner crisps?
I would love to.
I'm working this afternoon,
I'm working tonight.
So is the invitation open
for tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
Can you not wait that long?
I can.
I can wait that long.
What are you doing this weekend
because my consultant
has invited me to a party in his
garden. Pimms and croquet and...
People called Rupert. It's gonna be
like the flaming fires of hell
but with a free bar.
Do you want to come?
Yeah.... Maybe.
Anyway, why don't
we just wait and see?
OK.
You're a funny little thing,
aren't you? Yeah.
So Alex invited me to this...
Work thing. Some barbecue
at his boss's house.
Weird thing is I actually
wanted to go.
Well, if it was as much fun
as lunch was
you shouldn't miss it.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Ben, what's with the golf?
It's golf.
Goff!
Will you stop saying goff?
Only if you stop playing it.
So it's going well with you two,
you and Alex?
Yeah. I'm gonna tell him.
Are you gonna say something?
You make me feel a bit nervous.
OK.
Why now?
I just feel like the lying
separates us.
It's like I'm looking at the world
through the wrong end
of the telescope.
Everyone just seems really far away.
Are you gonna give up?
I don't know.
I don't really know anything except
that I've got to tell him.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
Good luck.
Yeah, well...
I'm not seeing him till tomorrow.
I've got another client now.
The first one in 10 days.
In whore terms
I'm practically a virgin.
I couldn't let him down.
You're all heart.
See you later.
Is it better to find out
your girlfriend's a prostitute
on a full or empty stomach?
I've never wanted to cook for a man.
Not ever. Not until now.
My timing seems all off.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
(DOOR BUZZER)
Don't judge me, Delia.
Hi.
You must be Blake.
And you are...?
My dad.
Oh. Come in.
So shall we get the formalities
over with?
Dad, can you get the envelope
out of the bag?
Thanks. Just wait here one minute,
I won't be a second.
Make yourselves at home.
Dad...
Sorry, mate.
Okey-dokey.
Up.
That OK?
Yeah.
Didn't you want me to help you
get...?
Or is...?
No, it's fine.
But could you undo your dungarees
a bit?
It looks like we're wearing
the same T-shirt. Oh.
Better?
Yeah.
So have you two talked about what
Blake can do
and...?
Yeah, e-mail.
OK. Bye.
I'll be downstairs in the van if...
You need me.
Bye.
Oh, I'll just leave it just in case
he wanted...
Seems nice.
I don't mean like that. I just mean
I think it's nice
when...men kiss.
Would you like a drink?
Yeah, he's a good guy.
We go to a lot of gigs together.
That's why it may have looked like
we were wearing the same T-shirt.
But we're not.
Shall I...?
Please.
You have lovely eyes.
(SWITCHES RADIO ON)
# HANDEL:
Arrival of the Queen of Sheba
(SWITCHES RADIO OFF)
(TOOTS HORN BY ACCIDENT)
Blake, can you feel that?
Yeah.
Is it so uncomfortable
what I'm doing?
No... No.
It's just...I'm not that used
to being touched.
I mean I'm touched all the time
by my dad and PAs.
Just not like that.
Shall I take your shirt off?
That's it.
Don't.
If you do that, it feels like porn.
Like in not a real girl.
Last time I had a girlfriend
I was 17.
Before my body stopped co-operating.
I know what to do.
You know, to you and that.
But I don't know what feels good
any more.
I can't really...
Touch yourself?
No.
What about music?
What about it?
What kind of music
makes you think about sex?
Come on. Everyone has one of those.
OK. There's this song.
On my MP3 Player in my bag?
OK.
It's the first track
on the second playlist.
It's folk. Well, folky.
(SWITCHES MP3 PLAYER ON)
# RYAN ADAMS : Come Pick Me Up
# When they call your name
# Will you walk right up
# With a smile on your face
# Will you cower in fear
# In your favourite sweater
# With an old love letter...
Say I'm your girl.
You're not, though.
You're just some money
my dad's paid to sleep with me.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
- That's OK.
I was afraid this was gonna happen.
Opened the floodgates.
Made me want something I can't have.
Who says you can't have it?
Sorry.
It's OK. It's fine.
I can have it.
It's just hard.
Harder.
Falling in love.
Having a relationship.
Feels like something that happens
to other people.
# When you're walking downtown
# Do you wish I was there
# Do you wish it was me #
It's fine.
Sometimes sex with strangers can
make you feel lonelier than ever.
Now you feel like a real girl.
I am a real girl.
My name's Hannah.
Hi, Hannah.
Am I gonna hurt you?
No.
# COUNTING CROWS : Colourblind
# I am covered in skin
# No-one gets to come in
# Pull me out from inside #
Hannah?
Get out.
Get out. Get out!
Sorry, I'm so sorry.
My phone's in my pocket.
Tomorrow, you said tomorrow!
What the fuck is going on?
What the...?
You should have just said.
If it was the end of the
appointment and someone was waiting.
What did he just say?
Can you...can you come up please?
Hannah's a prostitute. A working
girl, a hooker and a whore.
Did you fucking know that?
Of course you did.
Were you laughing at me
the whole time, the two of you?
No, I wasn't.
She... Whatever you think she is,
that's not her.
There's Hannah.
And there's Belle.
Belle?
She thought I was a punter.
Alex, don't. First time I met her
she called herself Belle.
Don't do this. She thought
I was a paying customer.
Fucking hell.
Alex, don't.
Don't what?
Don't do this.
I'm falling in love with that girl.
I'm going out with her,
I'm falling in love with her.
And I walk in.
And she's fucking some guy.
Some poor fucking guy
in a wheelchair.
Some dirty fucking bastard
in a wheelchair.
What?
Yeah. No, wait for the punchline.
It's hilarious.
The guy thinks
I'm her next customer.
He's had his shot
and now it's my go.
Yeah, go on, son.
Laugh.
Go on, laugh, cos
that's exactly what I'd do
if this happened to some other mug.
Oh, I would laugh.
Before I asked him
how could he be so fucking stupid?!
Alex... Listen to me.
It's just a job.
OK?
It's what she does.
It's not who she is.
What the fuck are you talking about?
That's my girlfriend!
What if it was your girlfriend
fucking other men for money
then fucking you?!
I'm sorry to be some boring
Catholic boy about all of this
but it's fucking disgusting.
I find it...
Fucking disgraceful.
What's wrong with you people?
What's wrong with you, Ben?
Do you think this is normal?
It's not.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
RECORDING:
'Hey, it's Alex. At the moment...'
(DOOR BUZZER)
Hello.
He left his MP3 Player.
OK. Come up.
Sorry.
No...
I swapped shifts with someone
to see her.
Yeah.
Do you think it's drugs,
why she does it?
She doesn't do drugs.
You'd think I'd know
if I was sleeping with a junkie.
Probably crawling with STIs.
No, Alex.
She's not like that.
And how would you know?
You. You're in love with her.
I've got a girlfriend, Alex.
Yeah.
Yeah. So you do.
What's her name?
Vanessa.
Vanessa.
Poor Vanessa.
Cos I bet she knows it.
# ADELE 19 : Hometown Glory
# I've been working in the same way
# As I did
# Missing out the cracks
in the pavement
# And tutting my heel,
strutting my feet
# Is there anything
I can do for you dear
# Is there anyone I could call
# No and thank you, please, Madam
# I ain't lost, just wandering
# Round my home town
# Memories are fresh
# Round my home town
# Ooh, the people I've met
# Are the wonders of my world
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
# Are the wonders of my world
# Are the wonders of this world
Hello?
# Are the wonders...
Just checking.
Just checking if it's true.
And it is.
Isn't it...Belle?
# You get the people
and the government
# Everybody taking different sides
# Shows that we ain't gonna
stand shit
# Shows that we are united
# Shows that we ain't gonna take it
# Shows that we ain't gonna
stand shit
# Shows that we are united
# Round my home town
# Memories are fresh
# Round my home town
# Ooh, the people I've met
# Yeah #
transcript : chocolate (with one h :P)
sync : innuit