Secret Diary of a Call Girl (2007–2011): Season 2, Episode 2 - Episode #2.2 - full transcript

My body is my work.

If I'm not in good shape,
neither is my career, so...

..Belle is considering
some professional...

..development.

Right. Let's take a look.

Yeah.

Mm. Augmentation, Doctor?

Yeah. Without a doubt.

Yes.
I'd say a mastoplexy too.

Oh, I can see that.

It's a big job.



But it's not impossible.
No.

Erm...

Oh, sorry. Er...

This will give you some idea
of where the incisions would be.

Mm-hm.

You er... You cut round the nipples?

The nipples are repositioned.

It's a lift so we'd have to move
them up the breast.

There will be some scarring,

but since there's a change of colour
anyway it's a nifty solution.

Nifty. It's...

Hm...

You've got a slight abnormality

of the breast
that's called tuberous.



Tumorous?

No, no, tu-ber-ous.

It's a condition where the breasts
are quite long in shape,

rather than high and round.

We can correct it.

God, I didn't realise there was
an actual term. It's not uncommon.

Have you had children?

No.

I should ask, what has prompted
you to consider the surgery?

Well, I thought in my line of work
it might be useful.

Are you a model?
Yeah...

stroke, actress...

stroke, physical therapist...

stroke, counsellor...

stroke -
I'll put self-employed.

Do I...? Do I need them done?

At least Belle
can claim it back on tax.

'Hey, Hannah, it's Alex. I wondered
if you still fancied that drink?

'Let me know
if you've got a free evening.'

Hardly. Belle's a busy girl.

Hi. Oh, sorry, Belle, you were -

No, it's fine, it's just me! Hi.

Hello!

I'm sorry if I seemed a bit rude -
No, not at all, you're at work.

It's just with Eleanor there
Of course.

Thanks for seeing me.
I thought it was better than going
to see some stranger.

Belle?
Yeah?

Maybe we should make
another appointment.

With you or with me?

For me, with you.

Yeah, I can do -
Tomorrow. Just an hour.

Tomorrow afternoon, four, at mine?

Yeah, that's grand, thanks.

Can I erm...?
Yeah.

I should probably -
Yeah, probably.

I can't wait. Look forward to it.

Just...

I can't go on a real date
like a normal person.

I'm a prostitute.

That's what I am.

I'm an independent prostitute.

No agency, no madam.

No-one leeching off me.

In the end,
you can only rely on yourself.

Belle! Belle!

Hiya!

Bambi.

I knew it was you!

How are you?
Yeah, good, ta.

I should say thanks for all the
advice you gave me about the job.

Oh, you're welcome.
I'm going for it!

Oh! Wow!

That's good...I guess.

So erm...
have you done proper research?

I mean, have you erm...
have you got an agency?

I'm sorted. I've been talking
to this bloke on the net.

He's got his own studio thing
in Bow.

Take your pictures and everything.

Bambi, Stephanie.

Stephanie, Bambi.
All right?

Good Lord, look who it is.

It's just an introduction,
and it's probably a very bad idea.

You bought me a little friend?

Yeah, and I'm off.
Oh, Belle, wait.

Can't you stay? She's scary.

Bambi, you were off to some strange
bloke's garage in Bow.

Yeah, but...

Oh, go on, just for a minute.

Let's have a look. Profile.

Yeah, needs work,
but we could have something here.

Punters love a new girl.
Can't help that.

Nothing can replace experience.
Ooh, older girls always say that.

I'm not old.

I just mean for an escort.
Your body changes.

Young girls come up on the inside.

Bambi sweetheart, it's the only job

where the less you've worked,
the more you can charge.

Nearly half of which she takes,
by the way.

Are you just going
to undermine me, Belle?

No. I'm just being honest.

You know, Bambi, you need work,

but my books could really use
a nice British girl.

That used to be Belle.

She was always available, all about
the job, one hundred percent escort.

I'm not all about the job.

It's just Eastern Europeans
and nasty porn stars these day.

I did a bit of porn.

Funny, they all look down
on you lot, you know.

"I'm a performer not a prostitute,"

and you're all,
"I'm an escort, I'd never do porn."

Well, you know, in my time I've done
things you couldn't even imagine.

The work will always be there.

A city without whores
is like a house without bathrooms.

Have a think about it.

Actually,
I reckon I've made my decision.

I wanna be independent. Like Belle.

Well, if you ever change your mind,

you too, Belle,
the door's always open,

as long as your legs are.

I can let you know what I do,
but I'm not going to be your mentor.

Ment-whore!

OK, sorry, let me know what you do.

Just so you know...

the most important thing - safety.

And that is why...
Look at this email.

See, I'd never go near this one.

"Hey baby," and he's misspelled
"baby" - You're a snob!

Yeah, I am a snob.
The whole tone of it is wrong.

(MOBILE RINGS)

It comes with experience.

I've er...
I've got to a point where I'm more...

I'm more confident,
not easily intimidated.

What's that?

It's just some bloke
who wants to go on a date.

I'll do it. No, not like that.
Proper, real life date.

You should go.

No, bad idea.
Good idea.

Anyway, so I was saying,

the biggest security stuff
happens before the appointment.

You should call that bloke back,
you know.

No, I don't date like civilians.
It's just a drink.

My days, If I didn't know,

I would say you were well in need
of getting laid.

Hardly.

You are all work and no play, babes.

(SIGHS)

Yes.

I don't know.

Somewhere along the line,
since my best mate left London,

I couldn't really be arsed
with a personal life.

Not that much going on except work.

It'll be larks.

Have a beer, have a flirt.

What's your real name?

Hannah.

Well, Hannah needs some loving too.
Yeah, maybe.

Go on, do it.
I'm not gonna leave until you do it.

Er...
Go on! Do it!

Do it, do it, do it.
All right. OK.

Hi.

OK, bye.

So I erm...have a date
tomorrow night.

Yeah, looks like you do!

These days I can get ready
for a client in my sleep.

They like big hair,
big breasts and a big smile.

But you can't fake everything.

That's it.

I'm gonna make such a mess of you.

I'm sorry, Belle,
I don't think it's gonna happen.

Are you sure
you should have any more of that?

It's not this.

Oh, my God, it's my tits, isn't it?

You think they look
like spaniels ears...with nipples.

No.

Well, yeah.

No, but not like that.

You've got lovely normal breasts.

Hm, normal.
Do you want some?

No, I don't.

See I look at them now and I think
what I said to you. It's your job.

Yeah. God, I hate my job.

Really? Why?

Anal bleaching.

Vaginoplasty.

Look, I know it's your choice,
and all,

and I know, you know, women are free

to disempower themselves these days
or whatever.

Yeah, we appreciate that.

I should be helping burns victims.

I could set fire to my breasts.

That won't be necessary.

I specifically started seeing you
because you haven't had work.

I don't want to be scrutinizing
another man's work when I'm...

in the moment.
Sure.

I can't work on you
and carry on seeing you.

There's something still a bit...
normal about you. I like that.

Thanks very much.

I've become a shitty person.

No! It's your work.

You don't see me getting all
moralistic about what I do, do you?

Yeah, well, your job is about making
people feel better.

I make people feel awful
about themselves.

Tuberous breasts.

We made it up.

Breasts are breasts.

(GERMAN ACCENT)
There's nothing wrong with you.

Really?

Really.

Mm-hm!

I'm definitely keeping this, though.
Mm-hm.

Oh, the last time I rang you
to make an appointment,

I got that other girl, erm...
the one who answered your phone.

What?

The one you sent round instead
of you.

It's just that I'd rather see you
than your replacement.

What girl?

Stealing clients off me?

You answered my phone and you've been
on my laptop to reply to that email.

I am trying to help you!

I can't believe you're so fucking
disingenuous!

You know what, don't call me back!

This is why you should never help
anyone. Other people are bastards.

And now I have to go on a date!
With a real person!

Hi. Sorry I'm late.
Hi.

It's OK. Sit yourself down.

Do you wanna drink? Er I'll just...
I'll have whatever you're having.

A bottle of -
Actually, no.

I'll have what I want
and I'll have...ooh...

I'll have a beer.
I'll have erm...a glass of red wine.

Cheers.

Cheers.

No. I was just saying thank you
to him.

Oh, right.
Yeah cos we haven't got our drinks.

Yes.

Oops!

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Have...

Erm...sorry.

You've... Have you...?

Don't worry. It's nothing.
Oh, my God.

Not that, not that.

It looks like
there's something drawn on your...

Oh, yeah. No...

This is a moustache.

I am so sorry. Oh...

No, no! It's not a real one.
I...I drew it on.

Sometimes I like to draw facial hair
on myself.

Excellent.

Erm...do you know
what you're gonna have?

I...might...have...the...steak.
Hm.

So, you've just moved back.
How are you finding London?

Ah. Oh.
I'd forgotten how great it was.

You know?

Nobody looks at you.
Nobody gives a shit.

You could walk down the road
with a big massive stupid hat

and people would just go,
"Look, there's a guy with a big
massive stupid hat."

Sometimes I go to the shops
in my pyjamas!

What do you do?

Ah, that's a... That's a really
shit question. Sorry.

I'm a night time legal secretary.

Shall we order?

Yeah.

No, no. Why are you thinking
about getting surgery?

I wasn't seriously thinking about it.

Well, maybe just a little bit.

One of the fastest growing areas
of surgery

is repairing botched boob jobs.

Yeah, they harden, they rupture,
they leek into the body. It's..

I'm sorry, we've just eaten.

No, no, don't worry,
I'm not squeamish.

Neither am I.

That's good.

What does that mean?

I don't know. I'm really drunk.

(LAUGHS)

You just looked like you were going

to do something really wicked
to me later.

No, I just... It's just...
I meant because you're a doctor.

Ooh, good,
you talked your way out of that one.

Although I am going to do something
terrible to you as well later.

Really?

Jolly good.
I hope you bought the equipment.

Wow!

(PHONE RINGS)

Is that you?

Is what me?

Oh.

Sorry!

What?
I'm so sorry.

I didn't know who else to call.
(BANGING ON DOOR)

I'm in trouble. I'm with this guy.

He's gone really weird.

I've locked myself in the bathroom,
but I just dunno what to do

Where...? Where are you?

I don't know. I can't remember.
My heads gone all funny.

I can't think straight.

OK, calm down. Catch your breath.

Was it a hotel?
'Yeah, yeah.'

Erm...can you see any
of those toiletries around you?

'Those little bottles you get?'
Come on, darling.

Yeah, OK.
'What does it say?'

Erm it says the Blakely.
Come on!

Come on!
'I think I know it.'

OK. Don't worry I'm coming over.

(BANGING ON DOOR)

I'm so sorry, I've got to go.
You all right?

I'm gonna come with you.
Er, no, no, you can't.

It's a friend. Sorry.

Thank you. Thanks.

What room?

Which floor?

I'm just about to get concierge
up here! Open the door!

He left.
You all right? What happened?

Jesus, I'm having a heart attack!

I'm so sorry about everything.
Fine, don't worry. What happened?

This guy just opened the door
and he was really quiet,

and I was gonna count the money,
but he stopped me,

and I saw that the top one
was a twenty,

but underneath that
they were all photocopies.

Not even very good ones.

Was this the man from my email
that you replied to?

I knew it.

He told me to take off my clothes,
but I wouldn't,

and he got really angry
and he pulled my dress down,

so I ran to the bathroom
and he just kept shouting at me.

It's OK.

It's OK. Come on. It's all right.

(SOBS)

It's OK.

It's all right.

(SOBS)

We better go. He might come back.
Oh, my goodness.

It's OK. It's fine.
Come on, just get it together.

It's from ages ago.
I try and cover it.

I didn't mess up your night, did I?
No, baby, don't worry about it.

How did your date go?

Well, he didn't assault me,
so better than yours.

Come on.

You should rethink this.

I know I fucked up, but I can
change. I can get like you.

No, no, you mustn't.

That's exactly the attitude
that destroys you in this job.

You can't let it take over, OK?
You can't let it change you.

I need you to tell me
all about this bloke,

so I can alert the other girls
on the net.

# THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS:
Adventures In Solitude

Can I maybe stay with you tonight?

# Balancing on

# One wounded wing

# Circling the edge

# Of the never ending

# The best of the vanished

# Marvels have gathered
inside your door

# More than begin

# But less than forget

# But spirits born...

I know the job
is kind of taking over my life.

And now it's taking over
other people's.

But there's one thing that's normal
about me.

One thing that's Hannah's,
not Belle's.

Well, two things...

..and maybe I shouldn't let them go.

# Welcome back #

This is the kind of girlfriend
I can be.

What do they want?

I hope
that you're thinking about me.

I can't go out with you.
He's my husband.

It's fucking over. It's nice to know
I have this affect on people.

transcript : (i guess) evarin
syncro : innuit