Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983–1987): Season 4, Episode 16 - Do You Take This Spy? - full transcript
An old irritant from Lee's past and some missing paintings throws a spanner in Lee and Amanda's wedding plans.
[TOOL RASPING]
[MEN SPEAKING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[GRUNTING]
[ALARM WAILING]
[GUARD SHOUTING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[GUNSHOTS]
AMANDA: Well, that's pretty.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Mm.
Didn't expect you back
from lunch so soon.
- Came back to clear up a few things.
- Uh-huh.
- What have you been up to?
- Oh, plenty.
I checked on the blood tests.
Won't be ready till Wednesday.
I confirmed our reservations at the Crystal
Springs Inn for Mr. and Mrs. Stetson.
And the justice of
the peace in Marion...
will not perform our ceremony
until he meets us first.
So we're gonna have to
squeeze that in some place.
- One other thing.
- What?
[AMANDA SIGHS]
- They're beautiful.
- Yes, they are, heh, heh.
Amanda, what's this?
P-22 on Nick Grant.
- Nick Grant?
- Yeah.
Well, he's buried somewhere
in a Turkish prison, isn't he?
No, not anymore. He came
through Dulles on Saturday.
Security wanted a P-22 background
update on anybody who worked with him.
Oh, no.
Nick Grant is nothing
but bad news, Amanda.
I sent a copy down to
Surveillance. Let them worry.
You don't know Grant. He's like flypaper.
He gets next to you, he sticks to you.
- Well, we won't get next to him.
- Yeah.
I know, I'm probably
overreacting.
- I am overreacting, okay?
- Mm-hm.
I just don't want anything to
interfere with our wedding plans.
Nothing is going to, okay?
Monday, Jamie has his hair cut.
Mother, he has a picture from a
motorcycle magazine in his jacket pocket...
- so you better go with him, all right?
- All right.
Tuesday, Mr. Petrie will
be here to fix the doorbell...
so it doesn't sound
like a strangled chicken.
- Remember what happened the last time.
- I'll hide the sherry.
- Yeah. On Wednesday, Mr. Yamamoto.
- Mr. Yamamoto is coming.
He is going to be
spreading the grass seed.
I'm supposed to keep the Shepherds'
cat away so she doesn't chase her tail.
Amanda, that is enough of that.
- Well, I just...
- Amanda.
I'd like you to tell
me about your trip.
My itinerary is there. I have the
flight numbers, the phone numbers.
I read it. I mean, you
have, "Leaving, blah,
blah, blah, and
arrive, blah, blah, blah."
Then you're going to go, blah, blah, blah.
Come, Amanda. Details. Facts. It's boring.
Oh, Mother, it's boring to you,
but sounds pretty good to me.
- I need the R & R.
- Oh, I know you do.
I mean, you and Mr. Stetson
have been working night and day...
seven days a week.
You must be exhausted.
- Well...
- Probably sick of each other by this time.
Probably be wonderful
for you to get away.
It might even be very
good for your relationship.
Yeah, I think
you're right, Mother.
Mm-hm. Where did you
say Mr. Stetson was going?
Um...
Well, I don't think I
said where he's going.
He's probably gonna
go fishing or something.
- Fishing?
- Yeah.
Probably. You know,
fishing. I don't know.
Ah.
- I wonder if he'll catch something.
- Fish.
I'm leaving for
vacation on Friday.
According to your P-22, you know Nick
Grant better than anyone in the agency.
Just give me a Whereabouts
and Activities report.
- An afternoon's work.
- Heh.
Nick Grant is never
an afternoon's work.
I mean, Billy, he is a
fast-talking pain in the butt...
who will wine, dine and bed your
wife while he is stealing you blind.
He used to go for diamonds,
paintings, whatever he could sell.
Lately, he's been dabbling
in state papers, top secrets...
which is why we've
been tracking him.
He didn't come to see
the Lincoln Memorial.
No, no. So watch his women.
He is after whatever
they can get him close to.
- That's a good idea.
- Yeah.
I prefer a casual
contact, though.
One old friend bumping into another,
talking about the good old days.
Oh, come on, Billy, the last
time I bumped into Nick Grant...
I ate a 30,000 franc hotel bill, was
roughed up by a team of gendarmes...
and charged with grand theft.
Good luck.
LEE: That's what
Billy said. Good luck.
We're gonna need a lot
more than luck, believe me.
First, we've gotta figure
out what alias he's using.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
RECEPTIONIST: Okay?
WOMAN: Yeah. Yes, thank you.
Oh, may I help you?
Yes. You have a guest registered
here. Mr. Nicholas Greyson?
Oh, Lord Nicholas.
Yes, of course.
- Heh, Lord Nicholas. Of course.
- Yeah.
What room is His
Eminence staying in?
Oh, I'm not allowed to
give out that information, sir.
But you can find him
in the Gold Room.
Lord Nicholas is attending
the trade symposium.
- Ah. Thank you. Mm.
- Thank you very much.
So the economic future
is like a beautiful woman...
exciting, challenging, and
ultimately beyond our control.
[MEN CHUCKLING]
Still, it's my professional opinion,
these turbulent times can be conquered.
Now, I've been considering
conducting a private seminar...
for those of you with
sufficient motivation, interest.
And money. Lord Nicholas, right?
Ah, Von Stetson. Oh,
yes. Right there, old chap.
Yes, Baron Von
Stetson. Düsseldorf steel.
Very humorous.
So if any of you are interested,
please leave your name at the desk.
Thank you very much. Wonderful.
So the gremlins are
on my trail already.
Hey, I was wondering
who they'd sic on me.
- Nick Grant, Miss...?
- Mrs. King.
Nicky, we have to talk now.
People are asking questions.
Well, I've got the answers,
Lee. There's nothing to hide.
Look, let me take you
and Mrs. King for a bite...
and then we can talk
over a bottle of Cristal '77.
AMANDA: No. LEE: Uh...
All right? Hm?
- Yeah, all right.
- Great.
Look, I'll just go check some
messages and then we can leave.
Lord Nicholas.
In France, he said he was
De Gaulle's great-nephew.
- No.
- I knew it. He's running.
Hold it. Internal security. I have
to look through your pockets.
- No, no. No.
- Let's see.
- Explain.
- I'll check Nick's room.
Sorry, can't talk right now.
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[CHATTERING]
Okay, you two wanna
come up for air now?
Heh, you're taking your
job too seriously, Lee.
I don't respond too well
to being stood up, Nicky.
Oh, sorry. Yes, uh,
previous engagement.
Um, Felicia Ambruster, Lee
Stetson, the bloodhound I mentioned.
How do you do?
That's a lovely wedding
ring, Mrs. Ambruster.
Yes, I'm married. And, no,
Ambruster isn't my real name.
But then that's really
none of your business, is it?
- Or the government's?
- I hope not, heh.
Well, Nicky, did you bring her
up-to-date on everything, including Turkey?
Everything, including Turkey.
Hm.
But that's all over.
And I love Nicky
for what he is now.
Well, that's very lovely too.
But some people
remember who he used to be.
You know, Nicky, there is still that pesky
extradition treaty with Turkey, heh, heh.
I think it would be a lot easier
if we talked about it here.
I think I'll go powder my nose.
LEE: Oh. Ahem.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Well, well, well.
Nicky, I don't have the time or
the interest to be sweet or delicate.
Who you are planning
to rip off here in D.C.?
No one, no. I'm retired,
Lee. Permanently.
Nick, who's the woman? More
importantly, who's her husband?
Uh...
Felicia's different, Lee.
I don't want to embarrass
her. Let's go for a walk.
- I'll have the maitre d' entertain her.
- All right.
Very nice, that
Mrs. King of yours.
- Don't start. She's divorced.
- Ah.
LEE: All right, Nick, let's
make this quick and easy.
Yeah, I'm all for that really.
Felicia's husband doesn't
know about us. Heh, I don't think.
If I tell the agency, some gorilla
in a suit is going to blow the lid...
before we even
talk to the poor guy.
Uh-huh, and I bet you've been staying
up late worrying your little head about it?
Well, unfortunately, Nicky, you
no longer have the luxury anymore.
- Look...
- You are gonna go back to Turkey.
[GUNSHOT]
[GUNSHOT]
NICK: Lee, come on.
[GRUNTING]
Just an afternoon's work, huh?
I warned you about
Nick Grant, didn't I, Billy?
Calm down, Scarecrow.
Dr. McJohn told you to go easy.
Yes, yes, he did. But
nothing has cracked,
so don't worry about
it. It's only a scratch.
- You're sure he didn't set you up?
- Yeah. It's not his style.
He dragged me
out of the line of fire.
What the hell's going on? Was
the shooter after you or Nick?
Nick. He's on the hit list of
at least a hundred husbands.
- Then the woman must be the key.
- Yeah.
Billy, he seems to
be falling for this one.
- I don't think he's using her.
- Some habits are hard to break, Scarecrow.
Well, how's this for an
interesting little habit?
A Van Gogh, Cezanne, Monet,
Rembrandt, Brueghel and Titian.
At last appraisal, valued
at over $16 million.
- What are you talking about?
- Jason McMasters' art collection.
The president's golf partner?
The first lady's best friend?
- What's the connection with Grant?
- His girlfriend.
I chased down the plates on her
limo. She's Mrs. Jason McMasters Jr.
Ever since Junior lost his cushy
foreign-service assignment...
for mixing cocktails and foreign
policy, they have been staying here...
the old man's place.
Let me guess.
This is where the
McMasters' art collection is.
A beautiful woman, expensive
art and Nick Grant. Sound familiar?
Yeah. You better get the FBI
on it before something happens.
We will. But I want you and Amanda
out there also to hold McMasters' hand.
- Billy, I have to...
- And to make them know that we care.
The president
will appreciate it.
Oh, boy, that's tough luck, huh?
You got your vacation
all set and then...
here you are up to your
hind end in big-time crime.
Amanda could go out there
first and then you could go later.
I mean, you're not
inseparable, are you?
LEE: Why do I have a
sinking feeling about this?
Yeah, this is 73. We're still here
at the McMasters estate, over.
FELICIA: Aah!
- Jason, stop it!
It's too little
and far too late.
She let him through the security
so they could be together all night.
Not all night. He spent
part of it looting my art.
At least defend yourself.
Say he forced you, drugged you,
cast a spell on you, for God's sake.
I can't tell you
what isn't true.
Jason, I said, stop.
Uh, excuse us.
Mr. McMasters, I'm Lee
Stetson. This is Amanda King.
- We're from the agency.
- Hello.
How do you do? How do you do?
Well, this is my
son and his wife.
Yes, we've met.
Sir, we have reason to believe that this
is part of an ongoing agency investigation.
Involving this man.
Felicia, we want the truth. Now.
Mr. Stetson, you talked to
Nick. You know how he feels.
He couldn't have
done this to me.
Mrs. McMasters, Nick Grant
never left a lady behind...
who wouldn't have
died to defend his honor.
Yes, we slept together.
But all night.
I let him out down the
back stairs at 6 this morning.
- He didn't do it.
- Don't insult us, Felicia.
You were sated by this
man and were sound asleep.
Or maybe he did drug you.
In any case, he had hours
to move the paintings.
But nobody saw him do it.
My people patrol for intruders.
They don't check inside
the house when we're home.
And she cleared his car through the
gate. She's been remarkably helpful.
I'm gonna memorize this face...
because I am damn sure
going to kill the miserable pig.
Come on.
[GRUNTS]
Don't worry. She's safe.
What do we do?
But first, I'd like to
make a phone call.
- There's one right there.
- Thank you.
You can think like Nick
Grant. What's his next move?
Well, if he did it,
Billy, he's gone.
If he is telling the truth about
being in love with Felicia...
and we can clamp a news
blackout on the robbery...
he just might turn
up looking for her.
But anyway, Billy, this just doesn't
seem like agency business to me.
Then we'll just leave
it to the Virginia cops.
Great. Yeah, that's
a good decision.
I'm glad you think so because you
and Amanda will be helping them.
- What? BILLY: This case
gets priority one handling.
Dr. Smyth's orders. Straight
from the White House to his ear.
Rotate into off-assignment mode.
I won't have to juggle the schedule.
No, wait a minute.
That off-assignment mode
is our vacation time, Billy.
"Our" vacation?
That was a coincidence. Or is
there something you want to tell me?
- No, no, there isn't.
- Okay, now listen.
You're an authority
on Nick Grant.
Sooner you help the
Virginia cops find him,
sooner the two of
you will go on your trip.
- Trips.
- Yeah.
Look, they're not gonna cut
him loose for about an hour.
Let's use the time. It's only
12 miles from here to Marion.
- Justice of the peace. Good idea.
- Yeah. Come on.
I don't think I've ever seen
such a lovely ceremony.
Send us a little note
every now and then.
So many of our newlyweds do.
- Byron and Jennifer.
- No, Lee and Amanda.
We just need to talk to His Honor
for a couple of seconds if we could.
I can slip you in. I'm His Honor's
clerk, Marguerite Bowman.
Hello, Mrs. Bowman.
Is there a problem?
I don't see any problem at all.
- Oh, good.
- Heh, heh, heh.
- Are you wearing a gown?
- A nice suit.
Oh, such a good idea.
Some of our brides try to change
into a 10-foot train in our ladies room.
Then again, some show up
in blue jeans and sneakers.
- Mannheim-Dorf.
- Stetson-King.
Mannheim-Dorf are just a
teensy bit late, Mr. Tagsworth.
Lee and Amanda are
here for their preliminary.
- They want Friday.
- Who doesn't?
I've penciled them in
for 5:30, your last slot.
TAGSWORTH: If you
don't mind a word of advice.
I've never thought that Friday
nuptials were such a hot idea.
What's wrong with Friday?
Well, you've been working at some
sort of job all week long. You're bushed.
LEE: Oh. Ahem.
And then, well, you know...
most folks just aren't ready for
the kind of effort marriage can be.
I hope you've given this more
thought than Mannheim-Dorf.
We've given it a lot of
thought and we're very sure...
and we have
reservations for Friday.
- At the inn.
- Yes.
Who doesn't? I fill that
place up on Fridays.
Try to get extra towels then.
Well, if you just fill this out,
denominational, non-denominational.
If you want a special service,
150 words max, please.
And then rings and
flowers are up to you.
Mrs. Bowman will
snap your picture.
Mannheim-Dorf are here.
Late for their own
wedding. Think about it.
Well, if you decide on a mid-week
service, please give me a ring.
- Thank you very much.
- I strongly recommend it.
You'll have a lot more energy.
- Heh, heh. LEE: Yeah. Ahem.
LEE: I wish every surveillance was this
easy. We didn't have to wait 10 minutes.
I don't suppose she could
be taking it out for a spin.
Let's make sure she's meeting
Nick before we call in the law.
We are the law.
Don't remind me.
I should have a
little more faith.
AMANDA: Call the state troopers.
- No, not yet.
I wanna clear up a little matter of
the skin I'm missing along my ribs.
Besides, Nick can get
skittish when he sees uniforms.
Ow.
- Maid! NICK: Can you come back?
Can't do it, going off
duty. Gotta do it now.
[CHAIN RATTLING]
- All right, now, where did you go? LEE: I
wanna ask you the same question, Nicky.
Were those your pals yesterday
taking target practice at me?
He doesn't know who
was doing the shooting.
- Come on, you know I don't play that way.
- Then why'd you run?
Well, it seemed like a
good idea at the time.
Well, after I saved
your butt, as I recall.
Look, so I get a bit
crotchety when I was shot at.
I didn't like it very much
in the Turkish pokey.
And then I didn't want
you to send me back.
[VEHICLES APPROACHING]
TROOPER 1: All
right, let's move it.
Jensen, around the back.
You two, check the car. Move.
Lee, I think you're
losing your perspective.
A shack-up didn't used
to concern the state police.
TROOPER 1: Out of the room,
please, keep your hands in sight, ma'am.
We had a chopper up.
You followed us? I told
you to wait for us to call.
Shows you can't trust
anybody these days.
TROOPER 2: Sir, we've
got something here.
I'll agree with you there.
NICK: Now hang on, I've got no
idea where that painting came from.
Oh, no.
Nick Grant did not steal the
McMasters' art collection, Billy.
Gonna have a hard
time convincing the
police, the Virginia
sheriffs and the FBI...
he hasn't got the
rest of that stashed.
Look, Nick is...
Was a pro. All right?
He's not gonna steal
a fortune in old oils...
and sit 10 miles away in a
motel waiting to get nabbed.
But he was there
with the Van Gogh.
He was as surprised as I
was to see that painting.
- So you're saying that he was set up?
- You bet he was.
By someone who wants to see him
behind bars and then get their wife back.
Jason McMasters Jr.
- Bingo.
- Now there's a bucket that holds water.
His old man hasn't given him
a piece of the family fortune yet.
Right. Right. And guess what?
If Jason needs cash that
means a fence, a top fence.
Now, if we find him,
we can use him for bait.
Look, Nick knows every fence
in town better than anyone.
He can open a lot of doors on the street
but he can't do that sitting in jail.
I've got a better idea.
Why don't we bring in
McMasters Jr. And shake him up?
Because if he's smart and he keeps
his mouth shut, those pictures disappear.
Now, we've got to play his game
and I want Nick on my team, Billy.
Thank you.
Aren't you a little nervous
with Nick off the leash like this?
No. Listen, don't worry, Big
Tony is the only fence in town...
that has got enough juice
to handle the McMasters' art.
Nick will have to make
this first contact alone.
I don't think he'll wander off. He
needs us as much as we need him.
In case anybody asks, you're the
Roths from Newport, incredibly rich.
AMANDA: Ah.
- Oh. Heh, heh.
- What happened to the Detwilers of Philly?
- Oh, give me some credit.
Big Tony has just been in Philly.
He's looking you over right now.
[PIANO PLAYING]
Mm, uh, Jeff, Dixie?
I think the tide's
low in your glasses.
- Jeff and Dixie?
- Liven up, will you?
I told Tony you were wild enough to
take the plunge on the whole collection.
And if he likes what he sees, he's
willing to arrange a private showing.
Yeah, by the way, the clincher
was your incredible offer...
of one of your Picassos. But
we'll make him a present of it.
[WHISPERING] He's
gonna spot a phony Picasso.
Do you happen to have a
genuine Picasso on hand?
Hell, no, no. We'll just
borrow one. Heh, heh, heh.
LEE: How do you propose
we borrow a Picasso, Nick?
NICK: It's a lot easier than getting
your hands on the crown jewels.
LEE: That was different. We had
the prime minister's cooperation.
- We can talk in here.
- There's nothing to talk about.
Gentlemen, I run this museum.
You can't expect to walk in
off the street, flash federal ID...
and walk out with a piece of
facet cubism without talking.
We don't have time.
Can I use the phone?
- Who's he calling?
- Covert Maintenance, branch one, please.
I don't want you ramrodded
because you're doing your job...
but we are on a
very tight schedule.
- Ramrodded out of here?
- Yeah, this is 223, yeah. Uh-huh.
- Yeah, we got a clot in the bloodstream.
- What's he doing?
The White House wants that Picasso
there within the hour, at any cost.
NICK: No, no, no, not termination.
No, no. He's one of ours.
Just some plumbing
will do. Uh, hello?
It's that Davis kid on the
desk. He's put me on hold.
Look, ha, ha, I said you could have
the painting. I just want to know why.
All right.
You leak anything to anybody...
you'll be leading guided tours at
Mount Rushmore by the weekend.
During the Camelot years, not one
word came out of me about the private...
ahem, Reubens showing
at the White House.
Listen, the president wants
to melt some ice between us...
and a very important
Latin leader.
Ahem. I can't give you
his name, you understand?
But his country exports
one hell of a good cigar.
And this Picasso, it's...
Well, it's his favorite painting.
That is amazing.
The White House wants
to use this private showing...
as an opener to
some other issues.
Now, it is so important
that the president
will probably want to
thank you personally.
[CHUCKLING]
My word, I had no idea.
I'll have them box
the piece immediately.
We'll take care
of the paperwork.
The phone was a very nice touch.
Mm. Well, I particularly liked your
Mount Rushmore threat. Very good.
- We do get better with age, don't we?
- Heh, heh.
LEE: What is going on? He could have
been up there and down five times by now.
I gotta relax. Nick couldn't
drag us along with the Picasso...
before he closed the
deal with Big Tony...
but we should have backup,
covered the front and the rear.
The guy just walked away with
$2 million worth of oil and canvas...
and we are sitting out
here, dressed for cocktails...
Oh, come on now, come on.
[SIGHS]
- You're right, you're right.
- Okay.
- We've gotta trust him.
- That's right.
- After all, he's in love, right?
- Yeah.
Yeah. And he knows, he knows
that if he double-crosses me...
he will rot in that
Turkish hellhole for life.
Now, look...
Well.
We'll just relax and...
I mean, everything is
going according to plan.
- Except that he's 20 minutes late.
- I'll kill him.
They somehow walk out the
back door not five minutes after...
he walks in the
front with DeSica.
Maybe Big Tony
knew it was a setup.
No, the police have completely
buried Nick's arrest. There's no way.
It is possible that Nick
couldn't get a signal out.
Anything is possible.
But let's face it, Amanda...
Nick is a thief, a basic
coward and a womanizer.
Look, we gotta stay calm.
We have 24 hours before the
museum expects to get its Picasso back.
Oh, yeah? I don't
wanna stay calm.
The man is totally screwing
up our wedding plans.
You're right. There's absolutely
no reason to stay calm.
Yeah.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello? Stetson. NICK
[OVER PHONE]: Miss me?
Just where the hell are you?
NICK: I just picked myself
up a really nice set of wheels.
LEE: Where's the Picasso, Nick?
- Lee, you sound ticked.
- Hi, Nick, Amanda.
- He's ticked, isn't he?
Oh, no, we're both
just a little worried...
about where that $2-million
painting you disappeared with is.
NICK: Oh, no, no, it's fine.
Big Tony will take care of it.
I just set you up with him
for a first meeting on the art.
He'll be outside the
Orion at noon tomorrow.
I hope to have everything
cleared away by then.
Wait a minute, just
what are you up to?
Well, I just had a little chat with
Felicia. Jason's out at the house.
So I'm going out for a
little talk, man-to-man like.
We were right all along.
Big Tony just confirmed it.
Jason's been setting me
up right from the start. Ciao.
- Nick?
- Nick?
[AMANDA GROANS]
[LEE GRUNTS]
[GUNSHOT]
LEE: Around back.
Carefully put that gun down
and move over next to your friend.
Hope springs eternal. Still
trying to make that vacation, huh?
Yeah. Nothing short
of a nuclear war...
or the end of civilization as we
know it is gonna get in my way, Billy.
Not even Nick Grant?
He's trying, I'll give you that.
He's also getting plenty of help.
- Meaning he was framed, right?
- With a carpenter's level.
He didn't put a bullet through
Jason's head any more than I did.
The old man heard an
argument, then a terrible fight...
then he found Grant holding the
gun. That's pretty incriminating.
Yeah, but nobody saw him
pull the trigger, now, did they?
He told me he picked it
up after Jason was shot.
They are going
to bury him, Billy.
You're really worried
about him, aren't you?
Yeah. Not even Nick
Grant deserves this.
Look, somehow those missing
oils are the key to who killed Jason.
Amanda and I are gonna keep
a little meeting with Big Tony...
- see what we come up with.
- Sounds like police work.
No. They already figure
they've got their culprit.
I think I better
help you with this.
I wouldn't want you or
Amanda to miss your trip.
Trips.
BILLY [OVER RADIO]: Lee,
Amanda, what's going on out there?
We can't stay hidden
much longer. Lee?
It's 4:30. Either Big Tony has
raised caution to new heights...
or he doesn't plan
to meet us at all.
We're still on State 620.
We're making our fourth pass.
They're turning off. I think it's
the back end of McMasters' farm.
We could be taking a back road
onto the McMasters' property.
I'm gonna turn on
the homing signal.
BILLY: We've got you.
How do you do?
I'm Anthony DeSica.
- Call me Big Tony.
- Big Tony.
- I'm Jeffery Roth. This is my wife.
- Dixie. It's very nice to meet you.
And I can't tell you
how we're looking
forward to see all
that lovely art of yours.
Your wife certainly does believe
in getting down to brass tacks.
- Ha, ha, ha. That she does.
- Well...
Today, you understand, we
are just getting acquainted...
all of us seeing the
items for the first time.
No exchange can actually take place until
we are satisfied as to all the details.
Mr. Grant and I will
complete the transaction later.
Yes, Mr. Grant ran that down for us.
The client wants to get to know us better.
It's customary.
Well, now, Big Tony. We've
bought enough sizzling hot art...
to know you want us
to get our hands dirty.
- Now, why mince words?
- She does speak her mind.
- Heh, heh, heh.
- Well, I just...
- Just try it tell it
like it is. LEE: Yeah.
If you'll just wait here, Mr. and
Mrs. Roth, I will act as intermediary.
AMANDA: Ah. LEE: Hm.
TONY: Good afternoon. I have a charming
couple interested in the entire lot.
May I see the art?
The paintings never
left the property.
Ah. Excellent.
Just beautiful.
Of course, they're all phonies.
What are you talking about?
Not to say they are not fabulous
forgeries. Some of the best.
That's ridiculous. They came
right off the walls of the house.
I've seen it before.
Your father-in-law must
have needed money, eh?
Who knows? You can ask him.
We'll all ask him.
Federal officers.
The Roths, huh?
We've got no shortage
of phonies here today.
Let's all step outside, huh?
[GRUNTING]
AMANDA: I'm all right.
Go on. LEE: All right.
Come on.
Hold on, partner. Let
me use your horse.
Hyah!
LEE: Let's mind our
matters. Come on.
BILLY: All right, Scarecrow.
I'll take it from here.
- Good.
Big Tony says the
painting are all forgeries.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
It's quarter of. Think
we can make it?
If you drive, we'll make it.
BILLY: What's this? LEE:
Vacation. Drop you a card.
Amanda?
Amanda, come on.
He's gonna go home.
Okay.
You look beautiful.
You look handsome.
Lee and Amanda?
Do you, Lee, take
Amanda to be your wife?
I do.
TAGSWORTH: Do you, Amanda,
take Lee to be your husband?
I do.
Join hands.
Repeat after me, Lee.
I, Lee, take thee, Amanda...
I, Lee, take thee, Amanda...
to be my lawful, wedded wife.
To be my lawful, wedded wife.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
For better or worse...
For better or for worse...
for richer or poorer...
for richer or poorer...
in sickness and in health...
in sickness and in health...
to love and to cherish...
to love and to cherish...
for all the days of our lives.
For all the days of our lives.
Repeat after me, Amanda.
I, Amanda, take thee, Lee...
I, Amanda, take thee, Lee...
to be my lawful, wedded husband.
To be my lawful, wedded husband.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
For better or worse...
For better or worse...
- for richer or poorer...
- for richer or poorer...
- in sickness and in health...
- in sickness and in health...
- to love and to cherish...
- to love and to cherish...
for all the days of our lives.
For all the days of our lives.
May I have the rings?
Now put this ring on her finger.
Say these words.
This ring I give thee...
This ring I give thee...
in token and pledge...
in token and pledge...
of my constant
faith and devotion.
Of my constant
faith and devotion.
Now give him your ring.
Saying, this ring I give thee...
This ring I give thee...
in token and pledge...
in token and pledge...
of my constant
faith and devotion.
Of my constant
faith and devotion.
By the authority vested in me by the
statutes of the Commonwealth of Virginia...
Lee Stetson and Amanda King...
I am pleased to pronounce
you man and wife.
You kiss now.
Heh, oh.
Yes.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
[SIGHS]
AMANDA: Wow.
Oh.
[English - US -SDH]
[MEN SPEAKING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[GRUNTING]
[ALARM WAILING]
[GUARD SHOUTING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[GUNSHOTS]
AMANDA: Well, that's pretty.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Mm.
Didn't expect you back
from lunch so soon.
- Came back to clear up a few things.
- Uh-huh.
- What have you been up to?
- Oh, plenty.
I checked on the blood tests.
Won't be ready till Wednesday.
I confirmed our reservations at the Crystal
Springs Inn for Mr. and Mrs. Stetson.
And the justice of
the peace in Marion...
will not perform our ceremony
until he meets us first.
So we're gonna have to
squeeze that in some place.
- One other thing.
- What?
[AMANDA SIGHS]
- They're beautiful.
- Yes, they are, heh, heh.
Amanda, what's this?
P-22 on Nick Grant.
- Nick Grant?
- Yeah.
Well, he's buried somewhere
in a Turkish prison, isn't he?
No, not anymore. He came
through Dulles on Saturday.
Security wanted a P-22 background
update on anybody who worked with him.
Oh, no.
Nick Grant is nothing
but bad news, Amanda.
I sent a copy down to
Surveillance. Let them worry.
You don't know Grant. He's like flypaper.
He gets next to you, he sticks to you.
- Well, we won't get next to him.
- Yeah.
I know, I'm probably
overreacting.
- I am overreacting, okay?
- Mm-hm.
I just don't want anything to
interfere with our wedding plans.
Nothing is going to, okay?
Monday, Jamie has his hair cut.
Mother, he has a picture from a
motorcycle magazine in his jacket pocket...
- so you better go with him, all right?
- All right.
Tuesday, Mr. Petrie will
be here to fix the doorbell...
so it doesn't sound
like a strangled chicken.
- Remember what happened the last time.
- I'll hide the sherry.
- Yeah. On Wednesday, Mr. Yamamoto.
- Mr. Yamamoto is coming.
He is going to be
spreading the grass seed.
I'm supposed to keep the Shepherds'
cat away so she doesn't chase her tail.
Amanda, that is enough of that.
- Well, I just...
- Amanda.
I'd like you to tell
me about your trip.
My itinerary is there. I have the
flight numbers, the phone numbers.
I read it. I mean, you
have, "Leaving, blah,
blah, blah, and
arrive, blah, blah, blah."
Then you're going to go, blah, blah, blah.
Come, Amanda. Details. Facts. It's boring.
Oh, Mother, it's boring to you,
but sounds pretty good to me.
- I need the R & R.
- Oh, I know you do.
I mean, you and Mr. Stetson
have been working night and day...
seven days a week.
You must be exhausted.
- Well...
- Probably sick of each other by this time.
Probably be wonderful
for you to get away.
It might even be very
good for your relationship.
Yeah, I think
you're right, Mother.
Mm-hm. Where did you
say Mr. Stetson was going?
Um...
Well, I don't think I
said where he's going.
He's probably gonna
go fishing or something.
- Fishing?
- Yeah.
Probably. You know,
fishing. I don't know.
Ah.
- I wonder if he'll catch something.
- Fish.
I'm leaving for
vacation on Friday.
According to your P-22, you know Nick
Grant better than anyone in the agency.
Just give me a Whereabouts
and Activities report.
- An afternoon's work.
- Heh.
Nick Grant is never
an afternoon's work.
I mean, Billy, he is a
fast-talking pain in the butt...
who will wine, dine and bed your
wife while he is stealing you blind.
He used to go for diamonds,
paintings, whatever he could sell.
Lately, he's been dabbling
in state papers, top secrets...
which is why we've
been tracking him.
He didn't come to see
the Lincoln Memorial.
No, no. So watch his women.
He is after whatever
they can get him close to.
- That's a good idea.
- Yeah.
I prefer a casual
contact, though.
One old friend bumping into another,
talking about the good old days.
Oh, come on, Billy, the last
time I bumped into Nick Grant...
I ate a 30,000 franc hotel bill, was
roughed up by a team of gendarmes...
and charged with grand theft.
Good luck.
LEE: That's what
Billy said. Good luck.
We're gonna need a lot
more than luck, believe me.
First, we've gotta figure
out what alias he's using.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
RECEPTIONIST: Okay?
WOMAN: Yeah. Yes, thank you.
Oh, may I help you?
Yes. You have a guest registered
here. Mr. Nicholas Greyson?
Oh, Lord Nicholas.
Yes, of course.
- Heh, Lord Nicholas. Of course.
- Yeah.
What room is His
Eminence staying in?
Oh, I'm not allowed to
give out that information, sir.
But you can find him
in the Gold Room.
Lord Nicholas is attending
the trade symposium.
- Ah. Thank you. Mm.
- Thank you very much.
So the economic future
is like a beautiful woman...
exciting, challenging, and
ultimately beyond our control.
[MEN CHUCKLING]
Still, it's my professional opinion,
these turbulent times can be conquered.
Now, I've been considering
conducting a private seminar...
for those of you with
sufficient motivation, interest.
And money. Lord Nicholas, right?
Ah, Von Stetson. Oh,
yes. Right there, old chap.
Yes, Baron Von
Stetson. Düsseldorf steel.
Very humorous.
So if any of you are interested,
please leave your name at the desk.
Thank you very much. Wonderful.
So the gremlins are
on my trail already.
Hey, I was wondering
who they'd sic on me.
- Nick Grant, Miss...?
- Mrs. King.
Nicky, we have to talk now.
People are asking questions.
Well, I've got the answers,
Lee. There's nothing to hide.
Look, let me take you
and Mrs. King for a bite...
and then we can talk
over a bottle of Cristal '77.
AMANDA: No. LEE: Uh...
All right? Hm?
- Yeah, all right.
- Great.
Look, I'll just go check some
messages and then we can leave.
Lord Nicholas.
In France, he said he was
De Gaulle's great-nephew.
- No.
- I knew it. He's running.
Hold it. Internal security. I have
to look through your pockets.
- No, no. No.
- Let's see.
- Explain.
- I'll check Nick's room.
Sorry, can't talk right now.
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[CHATTERING]
Okay, you two wanna
come up for air now?
Heh, you're taking your
job too seriously, Lee.
I don't respond too well
to being stood up, Nicky.
Oh, sorry. Yes, uh,
previous engagement.
Um, Felicia Ambruster, Lee
Stetson, the bloodhound I mentioned.
How do you do?
That's a lovely wedding
ring, Mrs. Ambruster.
Yes, I'm married. And, no,
Ambruster isn't my real name.
But then that's really
none of your business, is it?
- Or the government's?
- I hope not, heh.
Well, Nicky, did you bring her
up-to-date on everything, including Turkey?
Everything, including Turkey.
Hm.
But that's all over.
And I love Nicky
for what he is now.
Well, that's very lovely too.
But some people
remember who he used to be.
You know, Nicky, there is still that pesky
extradition treaty with Turkey, heh, heh.
I think it would be a lot easier
if we talked about it here.
I think I'll go powder my nose.
LEE: Oh. Ahem.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Well, well, well.
Nicky, I don't have the time or
the interest to be sweet or delicate.
Who you are planning
to rip off here in D.C.?
No one, no. I'm retired,
Lee. Permanently.
Nick, who's the woman? More
importantly, who's her husband?
Uh...
Felicia's different, Lee.
I don't want to embarrass
her. Let's go for a walk.
- I'll have the maitre d' entertain her.
- All right.
Very nice, that
Mrs. King of yours.
- Don't start. She's divorced.
- Ah.
LEE: All right, Nick, let's
make this quick and easy.
Yeah, I'm all for that really.
Felicia's husband doesn't
know about us. Heh, I don't think.
If I tell the agency, some gorilla
in a suit is going to blow the lid...
before we even
talk to the poor guy.
Uh-huh, and I bet you've been staying
up late worrying your little head about it?
Well, unfortunately, Nicky, you
no longer have the luxury anymore.
- Look...
- You are gonna go back to Turkey.
[GUNSHOT]
[GUNSHOT]
NICK: Lee, come on.
[GRUNTING]
Just an afternoon's work, huh?
I warned you about
Nick Grant, didn't I, Billy?
Calm down, Scarecrow.
Dr. McJohn told you to go easy.
Yes, yes, he did. But
nothing has cracked,
so don't worry about
it. It's only a scratch.
- You're sure he didn't set you up?
- Yeah. It's not his style.
He dragged me
out of the line of fire.
What the hell's going on? Was
the shooter after you or Nick?
Nick. He's on the hit list of
at least a hundred husbands.
- Then the woman must be the key.
- Yeah.
Billy, he seems to
be falling for this one.
- I don't think he's using her.
- Some habits are hard to break, Scarecrow.
Well, how's this for an
interesting little habit?
A Van Gogh, Cezanne, Monet,
Rembrandt, Brueghel and Titian.
At last appraisal, valued
at over $16 million.
- What are you talking about?
- Jason McMasters' art collection.
The president's golf partner?
The first lady's best friend?
- What's the connection with Grant?
- His girlfriend.
I chased down the plates on her
limo. She's Mrs. Jason McMasters Jr.
Ever since Junior lost his cushy
foreign-service assignment...
for mixing cocktails and foreign
policy, they have been staying here...
the old man's place.
Let me guess.
This is where the
McMasters' art collection is.
A beautiful woman, expensive
art and Nick Grant. Sound familiar?
Yeah. You better get the FBI
on it before something happens.
We will. But I want you and Amanda
out there also to hold McMasters' hand.
- Billy, I have to...
- And to make them know that we care.
The president
will appreciate it.
Oh, boy, that's tough luck, huh?
You got your vacation
all set and then...
here you are up to your
hind end in big-time crime.
Amanda could go out there
first and then you could go later.
I mean, you're not
inseparable, are you?
LEE: Why do I have a
sinking feeling about this?
Yeah, this is 73. We're still here
at the McMasters estate, over.
FELICIA: Aah!
- Jason, stop it!
It's too little
and far too late.
She let him through the security
so they could be together all night.
Not all night. He spent
part of it looting my art.
At least defend yourself.
Say he forced you, drugged you,
cast a spell on you, for God's sake.
I can't tell you
what isn't true.
Jason, I said, stop.
Uh, excuse us.
Mr. McMasters, I'm Lee
Stetson. This is Amanda King.
- We're from the agency.
- Hello.
How do you do? How do you do?
Well, this is my
son and his wife.
Yes, we've met.
Sir, we have reason to believe that this
is part of an ongoing agency investigation.
Involving this man.
Felicia, we want the truth. Now.
Mr. Stetson, you talked to
Nick. You know how he feels.
He couldn't have
done this to me.
Mrs. McMasters, Nick Grant
never left a lady behind...
who wouldn't have
died to defend his honor.
Yes, we slept together.
But all night.
I let him out down the
back stairs at 6 this morning.
- He didn't do it.
- Don't insult us, Felicia.
You were sated by this
man and were sound asleep.
Or maybe he did drug you.
In any case, he had hours
to move the paintings.
But nobody saw him do it.
My people patrol for intruders.
They don't check inside
the house when we're home.
And she cleared his car through the
gate. She's been remarkably helpful.
I'm gonna memorize this face...
because I am damn sure
going to kill the miserable pig.
Come on.
[GRUNTS]
Don't worry. She's safe.
What do we do?
But first, I'd like to
make a phone call.
- There's one right there.
- Thank you.
You can think like Nick
Grant. What's his next move?
Well, if he did it,
Billy, he's gone.
If he is telling the truth about
being in love with Felicia...
and we can clamp a news
blackout on the robbery...
he just might turn
up looking for her.
But anyway, Billy, this just doesn't
seem like agency business to me.
Then we'll just leave
it to the Virginia cops.
Great. Yeah, that's
a good decision.
I'm glad you think so because you
and Amanda will be helping them.
- What? BILLY: This case
gets priority one handling.
Dr. Smyth's orders. Straight
from the White House to his ear.
Rotate into off-assignment mode.
I won't have to juggle the schedule.
No, wait a minute.
That off-assignment mode
is our vacation time, Billy.
"Our" vacation?
That was a coincidence. Or is
there something you want to tell me?
- No, no, there isn't.
- Okay, now listen.
You're an authority
on Nick Grant.
Sooner you help the
Virginia cops find him,
sooner the two of
you will go on your trip.
- Trips.
- Yeah.
Look, they're not gonna cut
him loose for about an hour.
Let's use the time. It's only
12 miles from here to Marion.
- Justice of the peace. Good idea.
- Yeah. Come on.
I don't think I've ever seen
such a lovely ceremony.
Send us a little note
every now and then.
So many of our newlyweds do.
- Byron and Jennifer.
- No, Lee and Amanda.
We just need to talk to His Honor
for a couple of seconds if we could.
I can slip you in. I'm His Honor's
clerk, Marguerite Bowman.
Hello, Mrs. Bowman.
Is there a problem?
I don't see any problem at all.
- Oh, good.
- Heh, heh, heh.
- Are you wearing a gown?
- A nice suit.
Oh, such a good idea.
Some of our brides try to change
into a 10-foot train in our ladies room.
Then again, some show up
in blue jeans and sneakers.
- Mannheim-Dorf.
- Stetson-King.
Mannheim-Dorf are just a
teensy bit late, Mr. Tagsworth.
Lee and Amanda are
here for their preliminary.
- They want Friday.
- Who doesn't?
I've penciled them in
for 5:30, your last slot.
TAGSWORTH: If you
don't mind a word of advice.
I've never thought that Friday
nuptials were such a hot idea.
What's wrong with Friday?
Well, you've been working at some
sort of job all week long. You're bushed.
LEE: Oh. Ahem.
And then, well, you know...
most folks just aren't ready for
the kind of effort marriage can be.
I hope you've given this more
thought than Mannheim-Dorf.
We've given it a lot of
thought and we're very sure...
and we have
reservations for Friday.
- At the inn.
- Yes.
Who doesn't? I fill that
place up on Fridays.
Try to get extra towels then.
Well, if you just fill this out,
denominational, non-denominational.
If you want a special service,
150 words max, please.
And then rings and
flowers are up to you.
Mrs. Bowman will
snap your picture.
Mannheim-Dorf are here.
Late for their own
wedding. Think about it.
Well, if you decide on a mid-week
service, please give me a ring.
- Thank you very much.
- I strongly recommend it.
You'll have a lot more energy.
- Heh, heh. LEE: Yeah. Ahem.
LEE: I wish every surveillance was this
easy. We didn't have to wait 10 minutes.
I don't suppose she could
be taking it out for a spin.
Let's make sure she's meeting
Nick before we call in the law.
We are the law.
Don't remind me.
I should have a
little more faith.
AMANDA: Call the state troopers.
- No, not yet.
I wanna clear up a little matter of
the skin I'm missing along my ribs.
Besides, Nick can get
skittish when he sees uniforms.
Ow.
- Maid! NICK: Can you come back?
Can't do it, going off
duty. Gotta do it now.
[CHAIN RATTLING]
- All right, now, where did you go? LEE: I
wanna ask you the same question, Nicky.
Were those your pals yesterday
taking target practice at me?
He doesn't know who
was doing the shooting.
- Come on, you know I don't play that way.
- Then why'd you run?
Well, it seemed like a
good idea at the time.
Well, after I saved
your butt, as I recall.
Look, so I get a bit
crotchety when I was shot at.
I didn't like it very much
in the Turkish pokey.
And then I didn't want
you to send me back.
[VEHICLES APPROACHING]
TROOPER 1: All
right, let's move it.
Jensen, around the back.
You two, check the car. Move.
Lee, I think you're
losing your perspective.
A shack-up didn't used
to concern the state police.
TROOPER 1: Out of the room,
please, keep your hands in sight, ma'am.
We had a chopper up.
You followed us? I told
you to wait for us to call.
Shows you can't trust
anybody these days.
TROOPER 2: Sir, we've
got something here.
I'll agree with you there.
NICK: Now hang on, I've got no
idea where that painting came from.
Oh, no.
Nick Grant did not steal the
McMasters' art collection, Billy.
Gonna have a hard
time convincing the
police, the Virginia
sheriffs and the FBI...
he hasn't got the
rest of that stashed.
Look, Nick is...
Was a pro. All right?
He's not gonna steal
a fortune in old oils...
and sit 10 miles away in a
motel waiting to get nabbed.
But he was there
with the Van Gogh.
He was as surprised as I
was to see that painting.
- So you're saying that he was set up?
- You bet he was.
By someone who wants to see him
behind bars and then get their wife back.
Jason McMasters Jr.
- Bingo.
- Now there's a bucket that holds water.
His old man hasn't given him
a piece of the family fortune yet.
Right. Right. And guess what?
If Jason needs cash that
means a fence, a top fence.
Now, if we find him,
we can use him for bait.
Look, Nick knows every fence
in town better than anyone.
He can open a lot of doors on the street
but he can't do that sitting in jail.
I've got a better idea.
Why don't we bring in
McMasters Jr. And shake him up?
Because if he's smart and he keeps
his mouth shut, those pictures disappear.
Now, we've got to play his game
and I want Nick on my team, Billy.
Thank you.
Aren't you a little nervous
with Nick off the leash like this?
No. Listen, don't worry, Big
Tony is the only fence in town...
that has got enough juice
to handle the McMasters' art.
Nick will have to make
this first contact alone.
I don't think he'll wander off. He
needs us as much as we need him.
In case anybody asks, you're the
Roths from Newport, incredibly rich.
AMANDA: Ah.
- Oh. Heh, heh.
- What happened to the Detwilers of Philly?
- Oh, give me some credit.
Big Tony has just been in Philly.
He's looking you over right now.
[PIANO PLAYING]
Mm, uh, Jeff, Dixie?
I think the tide's
low in your glasses.
- Jeff and Dixie?
- Liven up, will you?
I told Tony you were wild enough to
take the plunge on the whole collection.
And if he likes what he sees, he's
willing to arrange a private showing.
Yeah, by the way, the clincher
was your incredible offer...
of one of your Picassos. But
we'll make him a present of it.
[WHISPERING] He's
gonna spot a phony Picasso.
Do you happen to have a
genuine Picasso on hand?
Hell, no, no. We'll just
borrow one. Heh, heh, heh.
LEE: How do you propose
we borrow a Picasso, Nick?
NICK: It's a lot easier than getting
your hands on the crown jewels.
LEE: That was different. We had
the prime minister's cooperation.
- We can talk in here.
- There's nothing to talk about.
Gentlemen, I run this museum.
You can't expect to walk in
off the street, flash federal ID...
and walk out with a piece of
facet cubism without talking.
We don't have time.
Can I use the phone?
- Who's he calling?
- Covert Maintenance, branch one, please.
I don't want you ramrodded
because you're doing your job...
but we are on a
very tight schedule.
- Ramrodded out of here?
- Yeah, this is 223, yeah. Uh-huh.
- Yeah, we got a clot in the bloodstream.
- What's he doing?
The White House wants that Picasso
there within the hour, at any cost.
NICK: No, no, no, not termination.
No, no. He's one of ours.
Just some plumbing
will do. Uh, hello?
It's that Davis kid on the
desk. He's put me on hold.
Look, ha, ha, I said you could have
the painting. I just want to know why.
All right.
You leak anything to anybody...
you'll be leading guided tours at
Mount Rushmore by the weekend.
During the Camelot years, not one
word came out of me about the private...
ahem, Reubens showing
at the White House.
Listen, the president wants
to melt some ice between us...
and a very important
Latin leader.
Ahem. I can't give you
his name, you understand?
But his country exports
one hell of a good cigar.
And this Picasso, it's...
Well, it's his favorite painting.
That is amazing.
The White House wants
to use this private showing...
as an opener to
some other issues.
Now, it is so important
that the president
will probably want to
thank you personally.
[CHUCKLING]
My word, I had no idea.
I'll have them box
the piece immediately.
We'll take care
of the paperwork.
The phone was a very nice touch.
Mm. Well, I particularly liked your
Mount Rushmore threat. Very good.
- We do get better with age, don't we?
- Heh, heh.
LEE: What is going on? He could have
been up there and down five times by now.
I gotta relax. Nick couldn't
drag us along with the Picasso...
before he closed the
deal with Big Tony...
but we should have backup,
covered the front and the rear.
The guy just walked away with
$2 million worth of oil and canvas...
and we are sitting out
here, dressed for cocktails...
Oh, come on now, come on.
[SIGHS]
- You're right, you're right.
- Okay.
- We've gotta trust him.
- That's right.
- After all, he's in love, right?
- Yeah.
Yeah. And he knows, he knows
that if he double-crosses me...
he will rot in that
Turkish hellhole for life.
Now, look...
Well.
We'll just relax and...
I mean, everything is
going according to plan.
- Except that he's 20 minutes late.
- I'll kill him.
They somehow walk out the
back door not five minutes after...
he walks in the
front with DeSica.
Maybe Big Tony
knew it was a setup.
No, the police have completely
buried Nick's arrest. There's no way.
It is possible that Nick
couldn't get a signal out.
Anything is possible.
But let's face it, Amanda...
Nick is a thief, a basic
coward and a womanizer.
Look, we gotta stay calm.
We have 24 hours before the
museum expects to get its Picasso back.
Oh, yeah? I don't
wanna stay calm.
The man is totally screwing
up our wedding plans.
You're right. There's absolutely
no reason to stay calm.
Yeah.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello? Stetson. NICK
[OVER PHONE]: Miss me?
Just where the hell are you?
NICK: I just picked myself
up a really nice set of wheels.
LEE: Where's the Picasso, Nick?
- Lee, you sound ticked.
- Hi, Nick, Amanda.
- He's ticked, isn't he?
Oh, no, we're both
just a little worried...
about where that $2-million
painting you disappeared with is.
NICK: Oh, no, no, it's fine.
Big Tony will take care of it.
I just set you up with him
for a first meeting on the art.
He'll be outside the
Orion at noon tomorrow.
I hope to have everything
cleared away by then.
Wait a minute, just
what are you up to?
Well, I just had a little chat with
Felicia. Jason's out at the house.
So I'm going out for a
little talk, man-to-man like.
We were right all along.
Big Tony just confirmed it.
Jason's been setting me
up right from the start. Ciao.
- Nick?
- Nick?
[AMANDA GROANS]
[LEE GRUNTS]
[GUNSHOT]
LEE: Around back.
Carefully put that gun down
and move over next to your friend.
Hope springs eternal. Still
trying to make that vacation, huh?
Yeah. Nothing short
of a nuclear war...
or the end of civilization as we
know it is gonna get in my way, Billy.
Not even Nick Grant?
He's trying, I'll give you that.
He's also getting plenty of help.
- Meaning he was framed, right?
- With a carpenter's level.
He didn't put a bullet through
Jason's head any more than I did.
The old man heard an
argument, then a terrible fight...
then he found Grant holding the
gun. That's pretty incriminating.
Yeah, but nobody saw him
pull the trigger, now, did they?
He told me he picked it
up after Jason was shot.
They are going
to bury him, Billy.
You're really worried
about him, aren't you?
Yeah. Not even Nick
Grant deserves this.
Look, somehow those missing
oils are the key to who killed Jason.
Amanda and I are gonna keep
a little meeting with Big Tony...
- see what we come up with.
- Sounds like police work.
No. They already figure
they've got their culprit.
I think I better
help you with this.
I wouldn't want you or
Amanda to miss your trip.
Trips.
BILLY [OVER RADIO]: Lee,
Amanda, what's going on out there?
We can't stay hidden
much longer. Lee?
It's 4:30. Either Big Tony has
raised caution to new heights...
or he doesn't plan
to meet us at all.
We're still on State 620.
We're making our fourth pass.
They're turning off. I think it's
the back end of McMasters' farm.
We could be taking a back road
onto the McMasters' property.
I'm gonna turn on
the homing signal.
BILLY: We've got you.
How do you do?
I'm Anthony DeSica.
- Call me Big Tony.
- Big Tony.
- I'm Jeffery Roth. This is my wife.
- Dixie. It's very nice to meet you.
And I can't tell you
how we're looking
forward to see all
that lovely art of yours.
Your wife certainly does believe
in getting down to brass tacks.
- Ha, ha, ha. That she does.
- Well...
Today, you understand, we
are just getting acquainted...
all of us seeing the
items for the first time.
No exchange can actually take place until
we are satisfied as to all the details.
Mr. Grant and I will
complete the transaction later.
Yes, Mr. Grant ran that down for us.
The client wants to get to know us better.
It's customary.
Well, now, Big Tony. We've
bought enough sizzling hot art...
to know you want us
to get our hands dirty.
- Now, why mince words?
- She does speak her mind.
- Heh, heh, heh.
- Well, I just...
- Just try it tell it
like it is. LEE: Yeah.
If you'll just wait here, Mr. and
Mrs. Roth, I will act as intermediary.
AMANDA: Ah. LEE: Hm.
TONY: Good afternoon. I have a charming
couple interested in the entire lot.
May I see the art?
The paintings never
left the property.
Ah. Excellent.
Just beautiful.
Of course, they're all phonies.
What are you talking about?
Not to say they are not fabulous
forgeries. Some of the best.
That's ridiculous. They came
right off the walls of the house.
I've seen it before.
Your father-in-law must
have needed money, eh?
Who knows? You can ask him.
We'll all ask him.
Federal officers.
The Roths, huh?
We've got no shortage
of phonies here today.
Let's all step outside, huh?
[GRUNTING]
AMANDA: I'm all right.
Go on. LEE: All right.
Come on.
Hold on, partner. Let
me use your horse.
Hyah!
LEE: Let's mind our
matters. Come on.
BILLY: All right, Scarecrow.
I'll take it from here.
- Good.
Big Tony says the
painting are all forgeries.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
It's quarter of. Think
we can make it?
If you drive, we'll make it.
BILLY: What's this? LEE:
Vacation. Drop you a card.
Amanda?
Amanda, come on.
He's gonna go home.
Okay.
You look beautiful.
You look handsome.
Lee and Amanda?
Do you, Lee, take
Amanda to be your wife?
I do.
TAGSWORTH: Do you, Amanda,
take Lee to be your husband?
I do.
Join hands.
Repeat after me, Lee.
I, Lee, take thee, Amanda...
I, Lee, take thee, Amanda...
to be my lawful, wedded wife.
To be my lawful, wedded wife.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
For better or worse...
For better or for worse...
for richer or poorer...
for richer or poorer...
in sickness and in health...
in sickness and in health...
to love and to cherish...
to love and to cherish...
for all the days of our lives.
For all the days of our lives.
Repeat after me, Amanda.
I, Amanda, take thee, Lee...
I, Amanda, take thee, Lee...
to be my lawful, wedded husband.
To be my lawful, wedded husband.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
To have and to hold
from this day forward.
For better or worse...
For better or worse...
- for richer or poorer...
- for richer or poorer...
- in sickness and in health...
- in sickness and in health...
- to love and to cherish...
- to love and to cherish...
for all the days of our lives.
For all the days of our lives.
May I have the rings?
Now put this ring on her finger.
Say these words.
This ring I give thee...
This ring I give thee...
in token and pledge...
in token and pledge...
of my constant
faith and devotion.
Of my constant
faith and devotion.
Now give him your ring.
Saying, this ring I give thee...
This ring I give thee...
in token and pledge...
in token and pledge...
of my constant
faith and devotion.
Of my constant
faith and devotion.
By the authority vested in me by the
statutes of the Commonwealth of Virginia...
Lee Stetson and Amanda King...
I am pleased to pronounce
you man and wife.
You kiss now.
Heh, oh.
Yes.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
[SIGHS]
AMANDA: Wow.
Oh.
[English - US -SDH]