Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983–1987): Season 2, Episode 18 - Car Wars - full transcript
When Amanda's car gets busted Lee lends her an expensive car which has unexpected value.
- Good day.
- Yeah, right.
May I see some
identification, please?
- Oh, man, what is this stuff?
- It's just a formality, sir.
- Excuse me, but you are Mr. Gustafson?
- Yo.
And you're from Sweden?
You see, pal, my father moved us
to Brooklyn when I was real young...
and I'm living back
in the old country now.
One moment, please.
[SIRENS WAILING]
COP: Hold it right there.
Mr. Falcone ain't
gonna like this.
FALCONE: I wanna know
exactly what happened.
BENEDICT: Like we were saying, we're
heading to meet Mario to make the switch.
The cops throw up a roadblock.
Yeah, then Mario, he comes screaming down
the highway, jumps out and gets nabbed.
Now listen, you two. It took our
people a long time to set this up.
I'm not gonna sit and
watch it slide into a sewer...
because some hairball
like Mario screwed up.
Okay, look. Petronus and me
was nosing around up there...
and we found out that,
because it's a federal rap...
Mario and the car got shipped
back down here to Washington.
Yeah, the feds,
they got Mario on ice.
Let Mario rot. Get out
there and find that car.
Okay, people, may I have
your attention, please?
I have someone in my office
who would like to say a few words.
So let's give our guest our
full and undivided attention.
Excuse me.
- I knew things were going too well today.
- He's a fun guy.
Oh, yeah, right up there
with root canal work.
BILLY: You all know Mr. LaRue
from Internal Finances.
- All right, I will make this brief.
- Here, here.
[SIGHS]
How many times have I looked
out over these same faces...
and made this same speech?
Way too many.
Your agency is funded
by the federal government.
And that means taxpayer money.
And that, in turn, means
a demand for fiscal
responsibility and
accountability. Hm?
MAN: Here we go again.
- Let's talk expense accounts.
[ALL MUTTERING]
The abuses, abuses.
I am here today to announce...
that a 60-day internal audit
has begun on expense accounts.
Every penny will be scrutinized
and we expect costs to come down.
Is that clear, Mr. Melrose?
Excuse me, but what if
they don't come down?
Well, I don't wanna ruin anyone's
day with talk of reprimands, fines...
- and paycheck
adjustments. LEE: Mm-hm.
LaRUE: Good day.
LEE: It started out that way.
FRANCINE: It was really nice.
Boy, that LaRue is a real
pain in the you-know-what.
All of our you-know-whats
are gonna be in a sling...
- if we don't start showing some results.
- I know.
I know he's just doing his job, but
take a look at the guy. He's a joke.
I'm not laughing.
He's making me personally
responsible for all field agents' accounts.
Okay, okay, we'll make cuts.
Maybe if we can keep that guy off
our necks, we'll do some work here.
Speaking of which,
what are you working on?
I finished the report on the
Lebanese affair, on time, I might add.
And then the next couple
days, I just have busywork.
Gotta take a bunch of declassified
files to the Federal Records Center.
See, that's a perfect example
of what LaRue is speaking about.
- What?
- Here you are, a highly trained...
highly paid full
agent, running files.
- Well...
- Forget that. Try this.
What do we have here?
It's a report from the
Latin American bureau
on our Bolivian terrorist
friends, Los Lobos.
Seems they've gone commercial.
"Evidence linking them closely
with American crime syndicate...
headed by Nick Falcone."
Falcone. Well, that makes sense.
They're all in the same line of work.
- Kidnapping, extortion, murder.
- And drugs.
We suspect that the Bolivians are
supplying Falcone with narcotics.
He sells them
here for a price...
and sends the rest of the profits back to
the terrorists, bankrolling those maniacs.
Yeah, it's a neat little package.
Two groups of garbage make money.
At the same time, they're filling our
streets with more of that damn dope.
- Okay, I'm on it today.
- Good.
What do I do about
the files for the records?
Get one of our
civilians to do that.
Who can I get now at this short
notice, in the middle of a morning?
[GROANS]
- Okay, so, what happened to your car?
- The weirdest thing.
I drove the boys to school this morning,
because of those showers that we had.
Jamie has this little space creature
toy and he was playing with it...
and he dropped it down the
window on the passenger side.
Yeah, so?
So after I dropped them off
at school, it started to rattle.
So I put the window down to try to
get it out and the window jammed.
Aha. And the rest is
Amanda King history.
Did you take it in?
Should be easy to fix.
I took it to Mr. Mike's,
but he was awfully busy.
- Mr. Mike's?
- Yes, he's my mechanic.
He did say he could get
to it by the end of the day.
Good, good.
Look, Amanda, you're the only civilian
worker that I could get ahold of...
and since the job
does call for a car...
- how about I round you up one?
- Oh, Lee, thank you so much.
- That's really very nice of you.
- Hey, forget it.
Anybody could've gotten a tiny little
space creature jammed in their window.
LEE: Gino, I need a car.
GINO: Yeah. And I need a
date with a Dallas cheerleader.
Look, Lee, I think
maybe Gino's right.
I think I should
probably just rent a car.
- Listen to the lady.
- It is not fair for you...
to spend your own
money on official business.
Now, Gino, let me just have
one of the agency cars, huh?
They're all out on the road.
Hey, look, if it's official duty, why
don't you just go rent her a car?
After all, you flashy agents
still got expense accounts.
No, I gotta lay low for a while.
- LaRue is on the warpath again.
- Tell me about it.
That little weasel is throwing
a full inventory at us soon.
Everything's gotta
be accounted for.
What about one of your impounds?
Something new that you haven't logged in.
Forget about it, Stetson.
Lee, let's go.
Okay. But on the way back to
town, let me tell you this story...
about how I bailed Gino
out of trouble in Baltimore...
GINO: Hey.
- Oh, you did?
- He met these two sisters...
- What happened?
- They were exotic dancers and...
- Okay.
I got two new arrivals. Come on.
LEE: See?
GINO: She's all yours.
AMANDA: Oh, no.
No, I'm afraid this
one won't work.
You see, this is a very small car
and I have a mother and two little boys.
And after I finish my
work for Mr. Stetson...
I'll have to do a lot of
errands and running a...
Well, you see, I'm a housewife.
She's a housewife, Gino.
Besides that, I don't know
how to drive a stick shift.
Take it from me. She
doesn't know how.
Now, come on. What
else have you got?
Gino, what were the names
of those two sisters again?
Was it Trixie, Mixie,
something like that?
Wait a minute.
You swear to stop talking
about Baltimore forever?
Cross my heart.
Okay. I got one more.
Now, she's plenty big and it's an
automatic. You take it or leave it.
- Which one is it?
- The black one.
AMANDA: Oh, this is
really very nice of you.
[LEE WHISTLES]
LEE: Gino, what is this?
GINO: Called a
Stratford. English make.
- Kind of collector's item.
- Yeah. How much would it sell for?
- That much, huh? Hm.
- Lee.
- What?
- I can't drive that.
- It's as big as an ocean liner.
- More room for shopping.
- The steering wheel is on the wrong side.
- Look.
We need a car and the price is right.
Now quit before he changes his mind. Hm?
BOTH: We'll take it.
[AMANDA CHUCKLES]
By the way, Stetson.
- Come here. LEE: Hm.
- That car is perfect, Stetson.
- Oh, yeah.
- You got it? Perfect.
- Yeah.
Now, it comes back here with
so much as a speck of dust on it...
you're gonna pay
through the nose.
And then I'm gonna kick
your rear end. You got it?
Yeah, I got it.
I heard.
Amanda, be real careful, huh?
- I will.
- Good.
Hm.
[LEE CHUCKLES]
I don't believe it. It's
on the road again.
We just got real lucky, pal.
Let's get our car. This broad
gets in our way, we waste her.
Hey, now, will you take it easy?
[TIRES SCREECHING & CAR CRASHES]
Oh, no!
Oh, well, I'm just so glad you're all
right. Now, here's my insurance card.
And I have my license...
Excuse me. I'm sorry, but you
did put on your brakes so quick...
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Good, a policeman.
He can help us.
- Officer! Officer!
- Not here.
It's too out in the open.
Let's get out of here.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yes, I'm fine. Thank you very much.
- Not the first time I've seen this.
- I can't imagine having an accident...
- with two nastier men.
- This was no accident.
Old bunco trick. Get in front of
someone, stand on the brake, bam.
Next thing, some guy is holding
his neck, screaming for his lawyer.
And some poor slob got to
pay it out of his insurance.
You mean they did it on purpose?
Yeah. Guys like that cruise
all day looking for a car like this.
Did you happen to get
their license number?
I'm sorry, I didn't.
It happened so quickly and then
they just zoomed away. You saw them.
Well, let's take a look.
AMANDA: Oh, no.
I hope your insurance is paid.
Gonna take some big bucks to fix that.
- Can you still drive it?
- Yes.
I wonder if you could take me to a
phone. I'd like to call a friend first.
No problem. Answer
some questions first.
Yes, of course. Now, here's
my driver's license. It's valid.
I thought Mario was something.
He's got nothing on you two.
Stage an accident in broad
daylight in front of a cop!
- We didn't see him.
- They didn't see him!
Let me tell you, if you ever
wanna see anything again...
you better start
listening to me.
All right. What do
you want us to do?
- Benedict still trailing that car?
- Yeah.
From now on, we're gonna be
more discrete and use less muscle.
Now... Now think.
Where did Mario stash the stuff?
I don't know. I know
where I'd hide it.
What did she do this time?
- Oh, my God. AMANDA:
Thank you very much.
Oh, my God. Oh,
my God. Look at this.
Are you upset?
Am I upset? Gino is
gonna kill me for this!
- Lee, I'm really very sorry.
- You're sorry?
Sorry? You don't know Gino.
Gino can get mean sometimes.
I bet if we get right on this, we can
have the whole thing repaired today.
Oh, my... Oh, look at it. Ugh.
All right. All right,
that's a good idea.
- Yes.
- Good idea.
- Let's do something positive, shall we?
- Let's do that.
- Let's not talk about this anymore.
- Good idea.
You only had this
thing for 43 minutes...
We weren't gonna
talk about this anymore.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- That's right. Absolutely right.
- Right.
Absolutely right. Not gonna
talk about it anymore, but...
Couldn't you stop? I mean,
you rear-ended the guy.
Lee, before that nasty little
phrase, "woman driver"...
crops into this conversation...
could we please just drop
it and get this car repaired?
Please?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
Yes, yes.
It would be awfully hard
for me to pay for all of this...
- but I'd like to try to split it with you.
- No. Amanda, no.
I got you into this. You wouldn't
have been driving the thing...
if it weren't for me, right?
I can handle it somehow.
You're being awfully nice.
I really thought you were
still pretty angry with me.
No, it's these body
shops I'm really angry at.
I mean, get this. Look.
"Thirty-seven dollars, paint.
One hood latch, 14.95.
One grill strip, 10.50."
Look at this. "Labor, $750."
- I'm in the wrong racket.
- I know what you mean.
This one wants $956. Oh, but
this does include hand-buffing.
Why don't we just try
some other places?
No, it won't do any good.
Everybody will want an
arm and a leg for this work.
I'm in the middle of an important
case. I don't have time left for this.
Let's just go with one of these
estimates and get the thing fixed.
How about this one? It's the cheapest.
They said they could do it today.
Oh, $615 dollars.
What a bargain. Come
on, let's get out of here.
I'll follow you there and pick
you up later to get the car.
Then tomorrow, you have got
to get on those file deliveries.
What?
What?
MAN: Four valve stems, four
dynamic wheel balancing...
- four new wheels...
- Just give me the whole amount, huh?
Nine hundred and fifty-six
dollars, on the bottom line.
- No.
- Here's your coffee, Lee.
Thanks, Ned.
Wow, sure you don't want
something a little stronger?
Oh, my gosh, $200 apiece.
Hey, lady, you think
rubber grows on trees?
[LAUGHING]
Here, take your blood money.
Have a nice day.
Oh, Lee.
You shouldn't have bought
those imported radials.
We should've gotten
something cheaper.
Amanda, Gino is no fool. He'd
notice a different set of tires.
- What did your guy say?
- Oh, I'm afraid it's bad news there too.
Station wagon won't
be ready for a day.
Oh, I swear, I am gonna
open up a garage when I retire.
Okay, look, this is
the plan for today.
You keep the Stratford. I will
meet you tomorrow morning.
You'll have the hood fixed.
Then we take the damn thing
back to Gino and pick up your car.
- Then you will deliver those files.
- You really think I should keep the car?
- I have to pick up Mother and the boys...
- Amanda.
- Yes?
- Just take the Stratford, okay?
Okay, you're right.
So much has gone wrong already, I
guess nothing else could possibly go...
Shh-shh. Don't. No more.
- Right.
- Let's go.
DOTTY: This is a loaner?
When the station wagon
had to go into the shop...
IFF arranged for
me to drive this.
Oh. The film companies certainly
like to show off, don't they?
Jamie, what are you eating
back there, sweetheart?
Granola bars, Mom. I could
have them as after-school snacks.
They're messy. Wait until
we get home to finish it.
Philip, you still have your muddy feet
on that newspaper I put down for you?
Yes, Mom.
Jeez, I didn't know riding in a
big car would be such a drag.
- Careful with the turn.
- I will. Here we go.
Mom, I think that's
my... [BANGING]
- Bike.
- What? Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, no. JAMIE: Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, my gosh. Oh,
would you look at that?
PHILIP: You eighty-sixed
the muffler, Mom.
- Everything else looks all right.
JAMIE: What about my bike?
PHILIP: You mean your ex-bike.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
Now, listen, I think I better... I
probably better take the car into the shop.
Don't want people I work for
to think I can't take care of it.
- I'll get a new muffler right away.
- Right now?
- I should do it now.
- Don't forget the cleaners.
I'll go to the cleaners. You
boys put the bike in the garage...
and we'll take care of it later.
Sweetheart, don't ever leave your
bike in the driveway again, please.
- See you later. PHILIP:
Genius, put this in the garage.
AMANDA: Oh, my God. God.
- There. Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
Remember, it's
guaranteed for 10 years.
Well, thank you, but I don't
think I'll be keeping it that long.
- Oh, Mrs. King.
- Yes?
- Want this?
- What is it?
- It's the old muffler.
- No, thank you.
BENEDICT: That's it. We've
been through all the tires.
Nothing, Mr. Falcone.
Something ain't right.
[PHONE RINGING]
Yeah?
You what?
No, stay where you
are. I'll send Benedict.
Your partner Petronus just lost
his tail on the car. Go meet him.
- Where?
- He's at the deli you clowns like.
That broad is just a housewife, so
she's probably in her neighborhood.
I want the two of you back here in
an hour and bring that whole damn car.
Come on, move it.
AMANDA: Oh, no. I don't
believe this is happening.
Nice and quiet, lady.
Just take it nice and easy
and nobody's gonna get hurt.
We just want the car, okay?
What the hell are you doing? Will
you get that stupid thing started?
It would be a lot
easier with the keys.
Come on, give me the keys.
Hurry up.
Now, you just stay right there, all
right? You're gonna stay right there, huh?
[SIGHS]
Lee Stetson, please.
Amanda?
Oh, Lee, it's me. I'm
so glad you're there.
I was just coming
out of the dry cleaner.
The two men who were
in the accident were there.
- They pulled a knife on me and stole it.
- Well, are you okay?
Yes, I think so.
All right, all right. Now, you calm
down. Now, what did they take?
They took my car.
I mean, your... Gino's car.
What?!
- Amanda.
- Yes?
LEE: Get a good look at these guys?
- Yes.
- You're sure they're the same guys?
- Positive.
One was short and stocky and
the other one was tall and skinny.
- That hardly narrows it down.
- Listen.
The tall skinny one was between 6'2
and 6'4 and he weighed about 170 pounds.
The short stocky one was only
about 5'8 and I bet he weighed 180.
And they both had black hair.
Well, that's better, but you
sure there's not anything else?
- Here, let me get these.
- Yes, I'm sure there is something else.
Well, Lee, it's about that car.
It's been nothing but
trouble since I got it.
- Well...
- First of all, the hood got dented in.
Then the wheels were stolen.
I had to take it to McLean's
Muffler Shop for a new muffler.
- Here.
- Yeah.
I know. I know it's been trouble,
but I'm just glad that you're all right.
That's what's im...
Important.
Well, I...
- Thank you.
- Yeah. And you're safe now...
so you can calm down.
I'm very calm.
Good. Let's go.
AMANDA: Where are we going?
Well, I don't wanna take any more time away
from this terrorist assignment I'm on...
but I'm getting real curious.
And I think it's time we find out
what's so important about that car.
Hey, Bruno, I want that windshield
clean enough to have lunch on.
Hey, Lloyd, Mark,
what are you doing?
Beat your chest, your hearts will
start. Line those cars up straight. Go.
LLOYD: Okay, boss. We got it.
GINO: Parker? Parker, you
get that wagon running yet?
PARKER: Not yet. Got a solenoid problem.
- Well, fix it.
How's it going, Joe?
Okay, listen up, everybody!
We're going to pass this inventory...
or you guys are gonna be doing tune-ups
in Albuquerque. You all hear me good?
PARKER: Yeah, yeah. LLOYD:
Yeah, you got it. Sure, sure.
Hi, Gino. How is it going?
Something about that smile
makes me very nervous, Stetson.
- Ma'am.
- Hello.
- How are the wheels?
- Oh, the wheels are just fine.
Yeah. Gino, about that car.
Any paperwork on it? Might
tie in with a case I'm working on.
Yeah, it's on my desk right now.
- I'll get it. LEE: Thanks.
- Is he always like that?
- Who, Gino?
Most of the time, he's
not nearly as pleasant.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Here he comes. Ha, ha, ha.
Some gun-toting meatball
claiming to be Swedish...
rammed it through the entrance
gate at the Canadian border.
- Ran it right through the entrance gate?
- Yup.
Never even scratched it,
though. Not even a paint chip.
Didn't even dent the hood?
Probably dented the hood and
you might not have noticed...
- when they brought the car in, beca...
- Thanks. Thanks a lot. Ahem.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
I don't know if it's gonna
help or not, but I appreciate it.
You sure everything
is okay with that car?
- It's great. Great.
- Just great. It is.
- Trust me.
- You can trust him.
- Yeah. It's cherry, Gino.
- Absolutely.
I mean, you know, that's
it in a nutshell. Cherry.
LEE: Yup.
She gets so excited.
- What are we gonna do?
- Have a chat with a Swedish meatball.
Nothing?
Wherever it is,
it ain't here now.
- Sure you looked everywhere?
- Everywhere.
- Well, where is it?
- I don't know.
Lawyer says they got
Mario on illegal passport...
a concealed weapon
and resisting arrest.
No mention of narcotics. Feds
found nothing. Keep going through it.
We've been through it.
Okay, there's only
two possibilities.
Number one: Mario decided to
get greedy, takes the stuff himself...
hides it in Canada, then
gets arrested to cover it all up.
The only problem there is he
knows he can't get away with it.
The minute that stuff hits the
streets, Mario's ancient history.
Mario's not the smartest guy in the
world, boss, but he ain't that dumb.
What's the other possibility?
This Mrs. King.
She must've taken it.
Only one who had that
car, outside of Mario.
All right. Then we better
pay a visit to this Mrs. King.
Maybe we ought to
bait the trap a little bit.
Yeah. Heh, heh, heh.
I think we ought to take the
car back to her. Ha, ha, ha.
Put it back together.
So you're from Sweden, huh?
Yeah, that's right.
So why is a Swedish
tourist on vacation...
- carrying a loaded .45?
- Protection.
- We read about violence in your country.
- Oh, come on, Mario.
Let's cut the crap, shall
we? Come on, huh?
You tell me who I am.
I'll tell you who you are.
Here's who you are.
Here's who.
All phony.
Let's see. Pietro Baldino,
Italian dress designer.
Herbert Von Grossbach,
German industrialist.
And a Mr. Nigel Taylor.
A British soccer
player? Come on, Mario.
No idea what
you're talking about.
I'm talking about the fact
that you're really nothing...
but a flunky errand boy for
whatever crime syndicate will pay you.
- You're dreaming.
- Oh yeah? I'm dreaming, huh?
Well, everywhere you show
up, you leave us evidence.
In Italy, you are linked
with the Red Brigade.
In Munich, the Baader-Meinhof.
In England, the IRA.
Some real nice
people, Mario. Real nice.
Who you working for this time?
You got all the answers, smart
boy. Why don't you tell me?
All right.
You landed in Toronto.
You went straight to a dealership,
paid cash for a vintage car.
Twenty-four hours later, you crashed it
through the Custom's gate at Niagara Falls.
I told the police my foot
slipped, the accelerator got stuck.
- What can I tell you?
- Heh, heh, heh. Yeah. Right, right.
And then we brought you here.
And then a few days later,
that car is stolen. Why?
What's in that car, Mario, huh?
Kryptonite.
- Oh, gosh.
- Careful, Mom.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Don't want anything else broken.
We ought to take this to the
bike shop, see if they can fix it.
Just bring Jamie to the bike
shop, have him pick out a new bike.
I think we can
get this one fixed.
The main problem is to try to
get the wheel to get back in here.
If we can just bend these things
apart. Just pull, sweetie, pull.
Then Jamie will never leave
his bicycle in the driveway again.
- Will you?
- Yeah, you've seen how Mom drives.
Philip, why don't you
help us pull this apart...
or else next time, I'll run
over something of yours.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
There's Mr. Billet and Stevie.
They're ready to take us to the movies.
- Bye-bye, Mom.
- Bye-bye, sweeties. Be good now.
- Goodbye, love.
- Goodbye, Mother.
Good luck.
Thanks a lot. Heh, heh.
Okay. This is really...
[CAR DOORS CLOSING]
[PHONE RINGS]
Stetson's desk. May I help you?
Francine, it's Amanda.
Could I speak to Lee, please?
Amanda. Hello. No,
Lee isn't in right now.
But listen, if this is one of those
suburban gossip calls, would I do?
Francine, I really
need to speak to Lee.
Oh, it's one of those calls.
Okay, hold on a second.
He's in Interrogation.
I'll patch your through.
LEE: Hello?
- Lee, you'll never guess
what just happened.
I'm not even gonna
ask. What is it?
The car is sitting right
out in front of my house.
- What?
- The car.
It's sitting right out
in front of my house.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure. I'm positive.
Look, don't go anywhere in it. Is it
safe for me to swing by and check it out?
Yeah, Mother and the
boys are at a movie.
Okay, tell you what. Go check for dents
and things. Make sure it's the same one.
- I'll be by in a few minutes.
- Right.
Okay, Mario, we just
found the missing link.
- What are you talking about?
- We have the car.
And I'm gonna go over
that car inch by inch.
And you know what, Mario? If
I find anything in that vehicle...
that even looks like it didn't
come from the manufacturer...
you're gonna become a
long-time resident in this joint.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
You gave what to who?
I borrowed a car from
Impound and gave it to Amanda.
You took federal evidence
and gave it to a civilian?
It was business, Billy.
Her car is in the shop
and it was your idea...
to put her on the courier route.
Remember? Cut expenses?
And now you can't
find her or the car?
All I know is somebody wants that
car or what's in it pretty damn bad.
[KNOCKING]
BILLY: Yes?
You were right about
that Mario creep.
- Computer tossed out something real good.
- Whoa, who's Mario?
The guy who had the
car in the first place.
He's a nobody.
- He might lead us to bigger fish.
- What have you got?
You're working with the Bolivian
terrorist tie-in with Nick Falcone, right?
Mm-hm. So where
does Mario fit in?
Well, guess who Interpol
says Mario is working for now?
- Not Falcone?
- Yeah.
Billy, I think I know
what's in that car.
If Falcone has Amanda,
she's in bad company.
Scarecrow, I want you to climb
all over this Mario and break him.
Now, Francine, I
wanna find that car.
Tell everybody, top priority.
And Scarecrow...
you tell that pig Mario he's gonna
fry if anything happens to Amanda.
You bet I will.
How is it that a housewife is
driving a very expensive car...
from the government impound lot?
Well, you see, my little boy, Jamie,
dropped a little space creature...
down the window of my car.
I took it to my mechanic to...
Get to the point, Mrs. King.
I'm sorry.
He thought it would only take a few hours,
but he decided it was gonna take longer...
so a friend of mine arranged
for me to borrow that big car.
- And why did you pick that big
car? AMANDA: Oh, I didn't pick it.
It was the only one
that was available.
Okay. And when you got the car,
did you notice anything unusual?
- Anything at all.
- Um...
- The computer?
- Computer?
Yes. It has a computer in it that tells
you how much gas you're gonna need...
how much farther to go,
the temperature outside...
Listen, Mrs. King. Let's cut the
cat-and-mouse act and get to the point.
When that car crossed the
border, the stuff was in it.
The feds hauled it here, the stuff was in
it. You take the car for a couple hours...
- the stuff is gone.
- What stuff?
Three million dollars' worth of
uncut nose powder. That's what stuff.
- Nose powder?
- Cocaine, Mrs. King.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Cocaine that we make a nice
commission on for smuggling in...
and selling for some
South American friends, oh.
Those Bolivian guys are gonna be
hell if we don't get their dope back.
Oh, I got a
feeling we'll find it.
- You know what I think?
- No.
Heh, heh, heh. I think that you and
your friend who helped you get the car...
decided to do a little
moonlighting. Ha, ha, ha.
- Oh, no. FALCONE: Oh, yes.
- Oh, no.
- A $3 million rip-off, yeah.
AMANDA: No.
- I think that after we took the tires...
you and your friend
found my little package.
No. I swear to you, that car is
exactly the way it was when I got it...
except for the dented hood and
the new tires and the new muffler.
Muffler.
That's right. When we took the
car apart, it had a new muffler.
What muffler shop did
you go to, Mrs. King?
Uh...
I don't...
You know, we did some
checking on you, Mrs. King.
You got a mother
and two nice kids.
It would be a shame if
something should happen to them.
Okay?
Maybe I send Petronus
over to babysit your two sons.
Did you find what
you were looking for?
Don't care about what's
in the car anymore.
You guys make a big deal out of
something you don't care about.
Let me make this
simpler for you, huh?
Until a little while ago, we
didn't have much on you.
Just a couple of minor raps.
Well, things have changed. Now
it's a whole new ball game, lowlife.
- What are you talking about?
- What?
What I'm talking about is your
friends out there in the street.
They took the car back again. Only
this time, they took somebody with them.
So what? That's
none of my business.
It's not business anymore, Mario. It is
personal. You understand me? Personal.
- Now, they took a lady with that car.
- So?
So that lady happens to be a
very, very good friend of mine.
Yo.
Couldn't forget this car.
Hi, Mrs. King. Anything
wrong with the new muffler?
Yeah, we like
the old one better.
FALCONE: Wait, close the door.
- Close the door.
- All right, all right.
FALCONE: Let's tie
him up in the back.
Look, I don't know anything
about a lady being kidnapped.
You got nothing on me. I'm
out of here in a couple days.
Let me tell you reality, pal.
Anything happens to
her, anything at all...
I hope you do get out.
I'm gonna let every agent on
this planet know who you are.
And sooner or later, my friend Mario,
sooner or later, they are gonna find you.
And guess what.
You will not be
coming back to jail.
Look, all I did was put the dope
in the muffler and drive the car.
Muffler?
Francine, tell Billy, McLean's
Muffler Shop. Meet me there.
Come on, come on, come on!
Got it.
What about her?
Bring her. We'll kill her, then dump her
and the car where nobody will find them.
Let's go, come on.
Hello?
[LEE WHISTLES]
Hey.
FALCONE: Get rid of him.
Anyone here?
Yeah.
Oh, hi. How you doing?
There an attendant
around? I have my car here.
- Come back tomorrow. The place
is closed. LEE: You don't understand.
My car is here. You know?
I said take a hike, buddy.
[GUNSHOT]
Petronus, take him.
LEE: Billy, there's two in the
garage. Where are you going?
AMANDA: I have to go with
you. I know where his hideout is.
LEE: Yeah.
LEE: All right, keep your eyes
open. He can't be far ahead.
AMANDA: There he is.
[TIRES SCREECHING
& HORN HONKING]
AMANDA: Oh, watch it.
Oh, no. He's
destroying Gino's car.
Come on.
Hang on.
Oh, Gino is definitely gonna
kill me. Do you know that?
He is definitely gonna kill me.
[HORN HONKING]
[GRUNTS]
Ow.
No, no, wait! No, no,
no, not this one! No!
LEE: No. No!
- Lee!
- Lee.
- Yeah?
I wanna thank you for going with
me to pick up the station wagon.
- It really does feel good to have it back.
- No problem. Here we go.
- Hi, Gino. What's going on?
- Hi, Stetson.
- Ma'am.
- Hello, Gino.
LEE: Yeah. Yeah.
Where's the car?
- Oh, the Stratford?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we parked it out in front.
In fact, one of your boys should
be bringing it along any time now.
As a matter of
fact, here it comes.
[ENGLISH - US -SDH]
- Yeah, right.
May I see some
identification, please?
- Oh, man, what is this stuff?
- It's just a formality, sir.
- Excuse me, but you are Mr. Gustafson?
- Yo.
And you're from Sweden?
You see, pal, my father moved us
to Brooklyn when I was real young...
and I'm living back
in the old country now.
One moment, please.
[SIRENS WAILING]
COP: Hold it right there.
Mr. Falcone ain't
gonna like this.
FALCONE: I wanna know
exactly what happened.
BENEDICT: Like we were saying, we're
heading to meet Mario to make the switch.
The cops throw up a roadblock.
Yeah, then Mario, he comes screaming down
the highway, jumps out and gets nabbed.
Now listen, you two. It took our
people a long time to set this up.
I'm not gonna sit and
watch it slide into a sewer...
because some hairball
like Mario screwed up.
Okay, look. Petronus and me
was nosing around up there...
and we found out that,
because it's a federal rap...
Mario and the car got shipped
back down here to Washington.
Yeah, the feds,
they got Mario on ice.
Let Mario rot. Get out
there and find that car.
Okay, people, may I have
your attention, please?
I have someone in my office
who would like to say a few words.
So let's give our guest our
full and undivided attention.
Excuse me.
- I knew things were going too well today.
- He's a fun guy.
Oh, yeah, right up there
with root canal work.
BILLY: You all know Mr. LaRue
from Internal Finances.
- All right, I will make this brief.
- Here, here.
[SIGHS]
How many times have I looked
out over these same faces...
and made this same speech?
Way too many.
Your agency is funded
by the federal government.
And that means taxpayer money.
And that, in turn, means
a demand for fiscal
responsibility and
accountability. Hm?
MAN: Here we go again.
- Let's talk expense accounts.
[ALL MUTTERING]
The abuses, abuses.
I am here today to announce...
that a 60-day internal audit
has begun on expense accounts.
Every penny will be scrutinized
and we expect costs to come down.
Is that clear, Mr. Melrose?
Excuse me, but what if
they don't come down?
Well, I don't wanna ruin anyone's
day with talk of reprimands, fines...
- and paycheck
adjustments. LEE: Mm-hm.
LaRUE: Good day.
LEE: It started out that way.
FRANCINE: It was really nice.
Boy, that LaRue is a real
pain in the you-know-what.
All of our you-know-whats
are gonna be in a sling...
- if we don't start showing some results.
- I know.
I know he's just doing his job, but
take a look at the guy. He's a joke.
I'm not laughing.
He's making me personally
responsible for all field agents' accounts.
Okay, okay, we'll make cuts.
Maybe if we can keep that guy off
our necks, we'll do some work here.
Speaking of which,
what are you working on?
I finished the report on the
Lebanese affair, on time, I might add.
And then the next couple
days, I just have busywork.
Gotta take a bunch of declassified
files to the Federal Records Center.
See, that's a perfect example
of what LaRue is speaking about.
- What?
- Here you are, a highly trained...
highly paid full
agent, running files.
- Well...
- Forget that. Try this.
What do we have here?
It's a report from the
Latin American bureau
on our Bolivian terrorist
friends, Los Lobos.
Seems they've gone commercial.
"Evidence linking them closely
with American crime syndicate...
headed by Nick Falcone."
Falcone. Well, that makes sense.
They're all in the same line of work.
- Kidnapping, extortion, murder.
- And drugs.
We suspect that the Bolivians are
supplying Falcone with narcotics.
He sells them
here for a price...
and sends the rest of the profits back to
the terrorists, bankrolling those maniacs.
Yeah, it's a neat little package.
Two groups of garbage make money.
At the same time, they're filling our
streets with more of that damn dope.
- Okay, I'm on it today.
- Good.
What do I do about
the files for the records?
Get one of our
civilians to do that.
Who can I get now at this short
notice, in the middle of a morning?
[GROANS]
- Okay, so, what happened to your car?
- The weirdest thing.
I drove the boys to school this morning,
because of those showers that we had.
Jamie has this little space creature
toy and he was playing with it...
and he dropped it down the
window on the passenger side.
Yeah, so?
So after I dropped them off
at school, it started to rattle.
So I put the window down to try to
get it out and the window jammed.
Aha. And the rest is
Amanda King history.
Did you take it in?
Should be easy to fix.
I took it to Mr. Mike's,
but he was awfully busy.
- Mr. Mike's?
- Yes, he's my mechanic.
He did say he could get
to it by the end of the day.
Good, good.
Look, Amanda, you're the only civilian
worker that I could get ahold of...
and since the job
does call for a car...
- how about I round you up one?
- Oh, Lee, thank you so much.
- That's really very nice of you.
- Hey, forget it.
Anybody could've gotten a tiny little
space creature jammed in their window.
LEE: Gino, I need a car.
GINO: Yeah. And I need a
date with a Dallas cheerleader.
Look, Lee, I think
maybe Gino's right.
I think I should
probably just rent a car.
- Listen to the lady.
- It is not fair for you...
to spend your own
money on official business.
Now, Gino, let me just have
one of the agency cars, huh?
They're all out on the road.
Hey, look, if it's official duty, why
don't you just go rent her a car?
After all, you flashy agents
still got expense accounts.
No, I gotta lay low for a while.
- LaRue is on the warpath again.
- Tell me about it.
That little weasel is throwing
a full inventory at us soon.
Everything's gotta
be accounted for.
What about one of your impounds?
Something new that you haven't logged in.
Forget about it, Stetson.
Lee, let's go.
Okay. But on the way back to
town, let me tell you this story...
about how I bailed Gino
out of trouble in Baltimore...
GINO: Hey.
- Oh, you did?
- He met these two sisters...
- What happened?
- They were exotic dancers and...
- Okay.
I got two new arrivals. Come on.
LEE: See?
GINO: She's all yours.
AMANDA: Oh, no.
No, I'm afraid this
one won't work.
You see, this is a very small car
and I have a mother and two little boys.
And after I finish my
work for Mr. Stetson...
I'll have to do a lot of
errands and running a...
Well, you see, I'm a housewife.
She's a housewife, Gino.
Besides that, I don't know
how to drive a stick shift.
Take it from me. She
doesn't know how.
Now, come on. What
else have you got?
Gino, what were the names
of those two sisters again?
Was it Trixie, Mixie,
something like that?
Wait a minute.
You swear to stop talking
about Baltimore forever?
Cross my heart.
Okay. I got one more.
Now, she's plenty big and it's an
automatic. You take it or leave it.
- Which one is it?
- The black one.
AMANDA: Oh, this is
really very nice of you.
[LEE WHISTLES]
LEE: Gino, what is this?
GINO: Called a
Stratford. English make.
- Kind of collector's item.
- Yeah. How much would it sell for?
- That much, huh? Hm.
- Lee.
- What?
- I can't drive that.
- It's as big as an ocean liner.
- More room for shopping.
- The steering wheel is on the wrong side.
- Look.
We need a car and the price is right.
Now quit before he changes his mind. Hm?
BOTH: We'll take it.
[AMANDA CHUCKLES]
By the way, Stetson.
- Come here. LEE: Hm.
- That car is perfect, Stetson.
- Oh, yeah.
- You got it? Perfect.
- Yeah.
Now, it comes back here with
so much as a speck of dust on it...
you're gonna pay
through the nose.
And then I'm gonna kick
your rear end. You got it?
Yeah, I got it.
I heard.
Amanda, be real careful, huh?
- I will.
- Good.
Hm.
[LEE CHUCKLES]
I don't believe it. It's
on the road again.
We just got real lucky, pal.
Let's get our car. This broad
gets in our way, we waste her.
Hey, now, will you take it easy?
[TIRES SCREECHING & CAR CRASHES]
Oh, no!
Oh, well, I'm just so glad you're all
right. Now, here's my insurance card.
And I have my license...
Excuse me. I'm sorry, but you
did put on your brakes so quick...
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Good, a policeman.
He can help us.
- Officer! Officer!
- Not here.
It's too out in the open.
Let's get out of here.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yes, I'm fine. Thank you very much.
- Not the first time I've seen this.
- I can't imagine having an accident...
- with two nastier men.
- This was no accident.
Old bunco trick. Get in front of
someone, stand on the brake, bam.
Next thing, some guy is holding
his neck, screaming for his lawyer.
And some poor slob got to
pay it out of his insurance.
You mean they did it on purpose?
Yeah. Guys like that cruise
all day looking for a car like this.
Did you happen to get
their license number?
I'm sorry, I didn't.
It happened so quickly and then
they just zoomed away. You saw them.
Well, let's take a look.
AMANDA: Oh, no.
I hope your insurance is paid.
Gonna take some big bucks to fix that.
- Can you still drive it?
- Yes.
I wonder if you could take me to a
phone. I'd like to call a friend first.
No problem. Answer
some questions first.
Yes, of course. Now, here's
my driver's license. It's valid.
I thought Mario was something.
He's got nothing on you two.
Stage an accident in broad
daylight in front of a cop!
- We didn't see him.
- They didn't see him!
Let me tell you, if you ever
wanna see anything again...
you better start
listening to me.
All right. What do
you want us to do?
- Benedict still trailing that car?
- Yeah.
From now on, we're gonna be
more discrete and use less muscle.
Now... Now think.
Where did Mario stash the stuff?
I don't know. I know
where I'd hide it.
What did she do this time?
- Oh, my God. AMANDA:
Thank you very much.
Oh, my God. Oh,
my God. Look at this.
Are you upset?
Am I upset? Gino is
gonna kill me for this!
- Lee, I'm really very sorry.
- You're sorry?
Sorry? You don't know Gino.
Gino can get mean sometimes.
I bet if we get right on this, we can
have the whole thing repaired today.
Oh, my... Oh, look at it. Ugh.
All right. All right,
that's a good idea.
- Yes.
- Good idea.
- Let's do something positive, shall we?
- Let's do that.
- Let's not talk about this anymore.
- Good idea.
You only had this
thing for 43 minutes...
We weren't gonna
talk about this anymore.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- That's right. Absolutely right.
- Right.
Absolutely right. Not gonna
talk about it anymore, but...
Couldn't you stop? I mean,
you rear-ended the guy.
Lee, before that nasty little
phrase, "woman driver"...
crops into this conversation...
could we please just drop
it and get this car repaired?
Please?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
Yes, yes.
It would be awfully hard
for me to pay for all of this...
- but I'd like to try to split it with you.
- No. Amanda, no.
I got you into this. You wouldn't
have been driving the thing...
if it weren't for me, right?
I can handle it somehow.
You're being awfully nice.
I really thought you were
still pretty angry with me.
No, it's these body
shops I'm really angry at.
I mean, get this. Look.
"Thirty-seven dollars, paint.
One hood latch, 14.95.
One grill strip, 10.50."
Look at this. "Labor, $750."
- I'm in the wrong racket.
- I know what you mean.
This one wants $956. Oh, but
this does include hand-buffing.
Why don't we just try
some other places?
No, it won't do any good.
Everybody will want an
arm and a leg for this work.
I'm in the middle of an important
case. I don't have time left for this.
Let's just go with one of these
estimates and get the thing fixed.
How about this one? It's the cheapest.
They said they could do it today.
Oh, $615 dollars.
What a bargain. Come
on, let's get out of here.
I'll follow you there and pick
you up later to get the car.
Then tomorrow, you have got
to get on those file deliveries.
What?
What?
MAN: Four valve stems, four
dynamic wheel balancing...
- four new wheels...
- Just give me the whole amount, huh?
Nine hundred and fifty-six
dollars, on the bottom line.
- No.
- Here's your coffee, Lee.
Thanks, Ned.
Wow, sure you don't want
something a little stronger?
Oh, my gosh, $200 apiece.
Hey, lady, you think
rubber grows on trees?
[LAUGHING]
Here, take your blood money.
Have a nice day.
Oh, Lee.
You shouldn't have bought
those imported radials.
We should've gotten
something cheaper.
Amanda, Gino is no fool. He'd
notice a different set of tires.
- What did your guy say?
- Oh, I'm afraid it's bad news there too.
Station wagon won't
be ready for a day.
Oh, I swear, I am gonna
open up a garage when I retire.
Okay, look, this is
the plan for today.
You keep the Stratford. I will
meet you tomorrow morning.
You'll have the hood fixed.
Then we take the damn thing
back to Gino and pick up your car.
- Then you will deliver those files.
- You really think I should keep the car?
- I have to pick up Mother and the boys...
- Amanda.
- Yes?
- Just take the Stratford, okay?
Okay, you're right.
So much has gone wrong already, I
guess nothing else could possibly go...
Shh-shh. Don't. No more.
- Right.
- Let's go.
DOTTY: This is a loaner?
When the station wagon
had to go into the shop...
IFF arranged for
me to drive this.
Oh. The film companies certainly
like to show off, don't they?
Jamie, what are you eating
back there, sweetheart?
Granola bars, Mom. I could
have them as after-school snacks.
They're messy. Wait until
we get home to finish it.
Philip, you still have your muddy feet
on that newspaper I put down for you?
Yes, Mom.
Jeez, I didn't know riding in a
big car would be such a drag.
- Careful with the turn.
- I will. Here we go.
Mom, I think that's
my... [BANGING]
- Bike.
- What? Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, no. JAMIE: Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, my gosh. Oh,
would you look at that?
PHILIP: You eighty-sixed
the muffler, Mom.
- Everything else looks all right.
JAMIE: What about my bike?
PHILIP: You mean your ex-bike.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
Now, listen, I think I better... I
probably better take the car into the shop.
Don't want people I work for
to think I can't take care of it.
- I'll get a new muffler right away.
- Right now?
- I should do it now.
- Don't forget the cleaners.
I'll go to the cleaners. You
boys put the bike in the garage...
and we'll take care of it later.
Sweetheart, don't ever leave your
bike in the driveway again, please.
- See you later. PHILIP:
Genius, put this in the garage.
AMANDA: Oh, my God. God.
- There. Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
Remember, it's
guaranteed for 10 years.
Well, thank you, but I don't
think I'll be keeping it that long.
- Oh, Mrs. King.
- Yes?
- Want this?
- What is it?
- It's the old muffler.
- No, thank you.
BENEDICT: That's it. We've
been through all the tires.
Nothing, Mr. Falcone.
Something ain't right.
[PHONE RINGING]
Yeah?
You what?
No, stay where you
are. I'll send Benedict.
Your partner Petronus just lost
his tail on the car. Go meet him.
- Where?
- He's at the deli you clowns like.
That broad is just a housewife, so
she's probably in her neighborhood.
I want the two of you back here in
an hour and bring that whole damn car.
Come on, move it.
AMANDA: Oh, no. I don't
believe this is happening.
Nice and quiet, lady.
Just take it nice and easy
and nobody's gonna get hurt.
We just want the car, okay?
What the hell are you doing? Will
you get that stupid thing started?
It would be a lot
easier with the keys.
Come on, give me the keys.
Hurry up.
Now, you just stay right there, all
right? You're gonna stay right there, huh?
[SIGHS]
Lee Stetson, please.
Amanda?
Oh, Lee, it's me. I'm
so glad you're there.
I was just coming
out of the dry cleaner.
The two men who were
in the accident were there.
- They pulled a knife on me and stole it.
- Well, are you okay?
Yes, I think so.
All right, all right. Now, you calm
down. Now, what did they take?
They took my car.
I mean, your... Gino's car.
What?!
- Amanda.
- Yes?
LEE: Get a good look at these guys?
- Yes.
- You're sure they're the same guys?
- Positive.
One was short and stocky and
the other one was tall and skinny.
- That hardly narrows it down.
- Listen.
The tall skinny one was between 6'2
and 6'4 and he weighed about 170 pounds.
The short stocky one was only
about 5'8 and I bet he weighed 180.
And they both had black hair.
Well, that's better, but you
sure there's not anything else?
- Here, let me get these.
- Yes, I'm sure there is something else.
Well, Lee, it's about that car.
It's been nothing but
trouble since I got it.
- Well...
- First of all, the hood got dented in.
Then the wheels were stolen.
I had to take it to McLean's
Muffler Shop for a new muffler.
- Here.
- Yeah.
I know. I know it's been trouble,
but I'm just glad that you're all right.
That's what's im...
Important.
Well, I...
- Thank you.
- Yeah. And you're safe now...
so you can calm down.
I'm very calm.
Good. Let's go.
AMANDA: Where are we going?
Well, I don't wanna take any more time away
from this terrorist assignment I'm on...
but I'm getting real curious.
And I think it's time we find out
what's so important about that car.
Hey, Bruno, I want that windshield
clean enough to have lunch on.
Hey, Lloyd, Mark,
what are you doing?
Beat your chest, your hearts will
start. Line those cars up straight. Go.
LLOYD: Okay, boss. We got it.
GINO: Parker? Parker, you
get that wagon running yet?
PARKER: Not yet. Got a solenoid problem.
- Well, fix it.
How's it going, Joe?
Okay, listen up, everybody!
We're going to pass this inventory...
or you guys are gonna be doing tune-ups
in Albuquerque. You all hear me good?
PARKER: Yeah, yeah. LLOYD:
Yeah, you got it. Sure, sure.
Hi, Gino. How is it going?
Something about that smile
makes me very nervous, Stetson.
- Ma'am.
- Hello.
- How are the wheels?
- Oh, the wheels are just fine.
Yeah. Gino, about that car.
Any paperwork on it? Might
tie in with a case I'm working on.
Yeah, it's on my desk right now.
- I'll get it. LEE: Thanks.
- Is he always like that?
- Who, Gino?
Most of the time, he's
not nearly as pleasant.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Here he comes. Ha, ha, ha.
Some gun-toting meatball
claiming to be Swedish...
rammed it through the entrance
gate at the Canadian border.
- Ran it right through the entrance gate?
- Yup.
Never even scratched it,
though. Not even a paint chip.
Didn't even dent the hood?
Probably dented the hood and
you might not have noticed...
- when they brought the car in, beca...
- Thanks. Thanks a lot. Ahem.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
I don't know if it's gonna
help or not, but I appreciate it.
You sure everything
is okay with that car?
- It's great. Great.
- Just great. It is.
- Trust me.
- You can trust him.
- Yeah. It's cherry, Gino.
- Absolutely.
I mean, you know, that's
it in a nutshell. Cherry.
LEE: Yup.
She gets so excited.
- What are we gonna do?
- Have a chat with a Swedish meatball.
Nothing?
Wherever it is,
it ain't here now.
- Sure you looked everywhere?
- Everywhere.
- Well, where is it?
- I don't know.
Lawyer says they got
Mario on illegal passport...
a concealed weapon
and resisting arrest.
No mention of narcotics. Feds
found nothing. Keep going through it.
We've been through it.
Okay, there's only
two possibilities.
Number one: Mario decided to
get greedy, takes the stuff himself...
hides it in Canada, then
gets arrested to cover it all up.
The only problem there is he
knows he can't get away with it.
The minute that stuff hits the
streets, Mario's ancient history.
Mario's not the smartest guy in the
world, boss, but he ain't that dumb.
What's the other possibility?
This Mrs. King.
She must've taken it.
Only one who had that
car, outside of Mario.
All right. Then we better
pay a visit to this Mrs. King.
Maybe we ought to
bait the trap a little bit.
Yeah. Heh, heh, heh.
I think we ought to take the
car back to her. Ha, ha, ha.
Put it back together.
So you're from Sweden, huh?
Yeah, that's right.
So why is a Swedish
tourist on vacation...
- carrying a loaded .45?
- Protection.
- We read about violence in your country.
- Oh, come on, Mario.
Let's cut the crap, shall
we? Come on, huh?
You tell me who I am.
I'll tell you who you are.
Here's who you are.
Here's who.
All phony.
Let's see. Pietro Baldino,
Italian dress designer.
Herbert Von Grossbach,
German industrialist.
And a Mr. Nigel Taylor.
A British soccer
player? Come on, Mario.
No idea what
you're talking about.
I'm talking about the fact
that you're really nothing...
but a flunky errand boy for
whatever crime syndicate will pay you.
- You're dreaming.
- Oh yeah? I'm dreaming, huh?
Well, everywhere you show
up, you leave us evidence.
In Italy, you are linked
with the Red Brigade.
In Munich, the Baader-Meinhof.
In England, the IRA.
Some real nice
people, Mario. Real nice.
Who you working for this time?
You got all the answers, smart
boy. Why don't you tell me?
All right.
You landed in Toronto.
You went straight to a dealership,
paid cash for a vintage car.
Twenty-four hours later, you crashed it
through the Custom's gate at Niagara Falls.
I told the police my foot
slipped, the accelerator got stuck.
- What can I tell you?
- Heh, heh, heh. Yeah. Right, right.
And then we brought you here.
And then a few days later,
that car is stolen. Why?
What's in that car, Mario, huh?
Kryptonite.
- Oh, gosh.
- Careful, Mom.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Don't want anything else broken.
We ought to take this to the
bike shop, see if they can fix it.
Just bring Jamie to the bike
shop, have him pick out a new bike.
I think we can
get this one fixed.
The main problem is to try to
get the wheel to get back in here.
If we can just bend these things
apart. Just pull, sweetie, pull.
Then Jamie will never leave
his bicycle in the driveway again.
- Will you?
- Yeah, you've seen how Mom drives.
Philip, why don't you
help us pull this apart...
or else next time, I'll run
over something of yours.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
There's Mr. Billet and Stevie.
They're ready to take us to the movies.
- Bye-bye, Mom.
- Bye-bye, sweeties. Be good now.
- Goodbye, love.
- Goodbye, Mother.
Good luck.
Thanks a lot. Heh, heh.
Okay. This is really...
[CAR DOORS CLOSING]
[PHONE RINGS]
Stetson's desk. May I help you?
Francine, it's Amanda.
Could I speak to Lee, please?
Amanda. Hello. No,
Lee isn't in right now.
But listen, if this is one of those
suburban gossip calls, would I do?
Francine, I really
need to speak to Lee.
Oh, it's one of those calls.
Okay, hold on a second.
He's in Interrogation.
I'll patch your through.
LEE: Hello?
- Lee, you'll never guess
what just happened.
I'm not even gonna
ask. What is it?
The car is sitting right
out in front of my house.
- What?
- The car.
It's sitting right out
in front of my house.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure. I'm positive.
Look, don't go anywhere in it. Is it
safe for me to swing by and check it out?
Yeah, Mother and the
boys are at a movie.
Okay, tell you what. Go check for dents
and things. Make sure it's the same one.
- I'll be by in a few minutes.
- Right.
Okay, Mario, we just
found the missing link.
- What are you talking about?
- We have the car.
And I'm gonna go over
that car inch by inch.
And you know what, Mario? If
I find anything in that vehicle...
that even looks like it didn't
come from the manufacturer...
you're gonna become a
long-time resident in this joint.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
You gave what to who?
I borrowed a car from
Impound and gave it to Amanda.
You took federal evidence
and gave it to a civilian?
It was business, Billy.
Her car is in the shop
and it was your idea...
to put her on the courier route.
Remember? Cut expenses?
And now you can't
find her or the car?
All I know is somebody wants that
car or what's in it pretty damn bad.
[KNOCKING]
BILLY: Yes?
You were right about
that Mario creep.
- Computer tossed out something real good.
- Whoa, who's Mario?
The guy who had the
car in the first place.
He's a nobody.
- He might lead us to bigger fish.
- What have you got?
You're working with the Bolivian
terrorist tie-in with Nick Falcone, right?
Mm-hm. So where
does Mario fit in?
Well, guess who Interpol
says Mario is working for now?
- Not Falcone?
- Yeah.
Billy, I think I know
what's in that car.
If Falcone has Amanda,
she's in bad company.
Scarecrow, I want you to climb
all over this Mario and break him.
Now, Francine, I
wanna find that car.
Tell everybody, top priority.
And Scarecrow...
you tell that pig Mario he's gonna
fry if anything happens to Amanda.
You bet I will.
How is it that a housewife is
driving a very expensive car...
from the government impound lot?
Well, you see, my little boy, Jamie,
dropped a little space creature...
down the window of my car.
I took it to my mechanic to...
Get to the point, Mrs. King.
I'm sorry.
He thought it would only take a few hours,
but he decided it was gonna take longer...
so a friend of mine arranged
for me to borrow that big car.
- And why did you pick that big
car? AMANDA: Oh, I didn't pick it.
It was the only one
that was available.
Okay. And when you got the car,
did you notice anything unusual?
- Anything at all.
- Um...
- The computer?
- Computer?
Yes. It has a computer in it that tells
you how much gas you're gonna need...
how much farther to go,
the temperature outside...
Listen, Mrs. King. Let's cut the
cat-and-mouse act and get to the point.
When that car crossed the
border, the stuff was in it.
The feds hauled it here, the stuff was in
it. You take the car for a couple hours...
- the stuff is gone.
- What stuff?
Three million dollars' worth of
uncut nose powder. That's what stuff.
- Nose powder?
- Cocaine, Mrs. King.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Cocaine that we make a nice
commission on for smuggling in...
and selling for some
South American friends, oh.
Those Bolivian guys are gonna be
hell if we don't get their dope back.
Oh, I got a
feeling we'll find it.
- You know what I think?
- No.
Heh, heh, heh. I think that you and
your friend who helped you get the car...
decided to do a little
moonlighting. Ha, ha, ha.
- Oh, no. FALCONE: Oh, yes.
- Oh, no.
- A $3 million rip-off, yeah.
AMANDA: No.
- I think that after we took the tires...
you and your friend
found my little package.
No. I swear to you, that car is
exactly the way it was when I got it...
except for the dented hood and
the new tires and the new muffler.
Muffler.
That's right. When we took the
car apart, it had a new muffler.
What muffler shop did
you go to, Mrs. King?
Uh...
I don't...
You know, we did some
checking on you, Mrs. King.
You got a mother
and two nice kids.
It would be a shame if
something should happen to them.
Okay?
Maybe I send Petronus
over to babysit your two sons.
Did you find what
you were looking for?
Don't care about what's
in the car anymore.
You guys make a big deal out of
something you don't care about.
Let me make this
simpler for you, huh?
Until a little while ago, we
didn't have much on you.
Just a couple of minor raps.
Well, things have changed. Now
it's a whole new ball game, lowlife.
- What are you talking about?
- What?
What I'm talking about is your
friends out there in the street.
They took the car back again. Only
this time, they took somebody with them.
So what? That's
none of my business.
It's not business anymore, Mario. It is
personal. You understand me? Personal.
- Now, they took a lady with that car.
- So?
So that lady happens to be a
very, very good friend of mine.
Yo.
Couldn't forget this car.
Hi, Mrs. King. Anything
wrong with the new muffler?
Yeah, we like
the old one better.
FALCONE: Wait, close the door.
- Close the door.
- All right, all right.
FALCONE: Let's tie
him up in the back.
Look, I don't know anything
about a lady being kidnapped.
You got nothing on me. I'm
out of here in a couple days.
Let me tell you reality, pal.
Anything happens to
her, anything at all...
I hope you do get out.
I'm gonna let every agent on
this planet know who you are.
And sooner or later, my friend Mario,
sooner or later, they are gonna find you.
And guess what.
You will not be
coming back to jail.
Look, all I did was put the dope
in the muffler and drive the car.
Muffler?
Francine, tell Billy, McLean's
Muffler Shop. Meet me there.
Come on, come on, come on!
Got it.
What about her?
Bring her. We'll kill her, then dump her
and the car where nobody will find them.
Let's go, come on.
Hello?
[LEE WHISTLES]
Hey.
FALCONE: Get rid of him.
Anyone here?
Yeah.
Oh, hi. How you doing?
There an attendant
around? I have my car here.
- Come back tomorrow. The place
is closed. LEE: You don't understand.
My car is here. You know?
I said take a hike, buddy.
[GUNSHOT]
Petronus, take him.
LEE: Billy, there's two in the
garage. Where are you going?
AMANDA: I have to go with
you. I know where his hideout is.
LEE: Yeah.
LEE: All right, keep your eyes
open. He can't be far ahead.
AMANDA: There he is.
[TIRES SCREECHING
& HORN HONKING]
AMANDA: Oh, watch it.
Oh, no. He's
destroying Gino's car.
Come on.
Hang on.
Oh, Gino is definitely gonna
kill me. Do you know that?
He is definitely gonna kill me.
[HORN HONKING]
[GRUNTS]
Ow.
No, no, wait! No, no,
no, not this one! No!
LEE: No. No!
- Lee!
- Lee.
- Yeah?
I wanna thank you for going with
me to pick up the station wagon.
- It really does feel good to have it back.
- No problem. Here we go.
- Hi, Gino. What's going on?
- Hi, Stetson.
- Ma'am.
- Hello, Gino.
LEE: Yeah. Yeah.
Where's the car?
- Oh, the Stratford?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we parked it out in front.
In fact, one of your boys should
be bringing it along any time now.
As a matter of
fact, here it comes.
[ENGLISH - US -SDH]