Sanford and Son (1972–1977): Season 2, Episode 2 - Whiplash - full transcript

[ Fred ] ♪ I HATE TO SEE ♪

♪ THE EVENIN' SUN GO DOWN ♪

♪ I HATE TO SEE THE EVENIN'
SUN GO DOWN ♪ HEY, POP!

♪ 'CAUSE MY BABY ♪

♪ SHE DONE LEFT THIS TOWN WHAA ♪

SAY, RAY CHARLES?

WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST?

'COMIN' UP.

♪ I'M FEELING TOMORROW ♪

♪ JUST LIKE I FEEL TODAY ♪

♪ WAY, WAY, WAY DO-DO-DO ♪



♪ FEEL TOMORROW ♪

♪ JUST LIKE I FEEL TODAY ♪

♪ I'M GONNA PACK MY TRUNK ♪

♪ MAKE MY GETAWAY ♪

♪ MAKE MY GETAWAY ♪

♪ OOH, ST. LOUIS WOMAN ♪

♪ WITH HER DIAMOND RING ♪

♪ DIAMOND RING DIAMOND RING ♪

♪ OH-WHAA-WHAA-WHAA ♪

♪ OH WHAT A LO-MMM-MMM-MMM ♪

♪ I HATE TO SEE ♪

♪ THAT EVENIN' SUN GO DOWN ♪

♪ TAKE ME BACK HOME
WELL, WELL, WELL ♪♪

WHAT IS GOIN' ON IN HERE?
ARE YOU FIXING MY BREAKFAST...



OR IS THIS A LAWRENCE
WELK AUDITION?

I'M COOKING YOUR EGGS
SO THEY WON'T BE RUNNY.

LAST TIME YOU SAY IT LOOK
LIKE A PLATEFUL OF DIPPITY-DO.

YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE ALL MORNING.

DOES IT TAKE THIS
LONG TO FIX EGGS?

LISTEN. NOBODY RUSHED
THE HEN THAT'S SUPPLYING 'EM,

SO DON'T RUSH THE
COOK THAT'S FRYING 'EM.

I HAVEN'T GOT ALL
DAY, YOU KNOW. WELL...

YOU SURE IN A BAD
MOOD THIS MORNING.

MAYBE A HOT MEAL'LL MAKE YOU
FEEL BETTER. GOOD, HOT BREAKFAST.

HOW 'BOUT THAT?

SEE, THAT'S MY OWN
SPECIAL RECIPE HERE.

I CALL IT, "DE OMELET FRED."

THAT LOOKS TERRIBLE, POP. HOW DO
YOU EXPECT ME TO DO A HARD DAY'S WORK...

ON A ROTTEN BREAKFAST LIKE THAT?

FOR THE ROTTEN STUFF YOU BEEN BRINGING
IN, A ROTTEN BREAKFAST IS GOOD ENOUGH.

I'M TIRED OF YOU
COMPLAINING ABOUT THE STUFF

I BRING IN BECAUSE I
KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

THAT'S JUST AN EXCUSE TO COVER UP THE
MISERABLE WAY YOU'RE RUNNING THIS PLACE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THE WAY I RUN THIS PLACE?

JUST LOOK AT IT, POP.
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

AND LOOK AT YOU. I'M GETTIN' SICK
AND TIRED OF THE WHOLE THING.

I'M GETTING TIRED OF IT, POP. I'M GETTING
TIRED OF YOUR NAGGING AND COMPLAINING...

AND HOLDING ME
BACK, AND I'VE HAD IT.

IN OTHER WORDS...

IN OTHER WORDS,

Y-YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE.

NO, I DON'T LIKE IT HERE.
AND AS A MATTER OF FACT,

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU
HOLDING ME BACK, I COULD'VE

BEEN OUT OF THIS
JUNKYARD A LONG TIME AGO...

AND INTO AN OFFICE.
YEAH, THE WELFARE OFFICE.

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU TAKING
ME OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL,

THERE'S NO TELLING
WHERE I WOULD'VE BEEN NOW.

THE ONLY TIME YOU WAS EVER NUMBER
ONE IS WHEN YOU WAS THE FIRST DROPOUT.

AND LOOK WHAT I DROPPED INTO.

A GRAVY TRAIN
FILLED WITH BISCUITS.

YOU AIN'T GONNA FIND NOTHIN'
GOOD AS THIS NOWHERE ELSE.

I'M GETTIN' SICK AND TIRED OF
WAKING UP AT 6:00 IN THE MORNING,

AND EATIN' ROTTEN FOOD AND
DOING ALL THE WORK AROUND HERE.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
ELSE. I'M CARRYING YOU.

WHERE?

I AIN'T BEEN NOWHERE. I BEEN
HERE ALL THE TIME AND AIN'T LEAVING.

YOU AIN'T CARRYING
ME NOWHERE... DUMMY.

THAT'S ANOTHER THING I'M GETTIN'
TIRED OF YOU CALLING ME A DUMMY.

THE ONLY REASON I CALL YOU A DUMMY
IS BECAUSE I CALL THEM AS I SEE THEM.

DUMMY.

SO YOU DON'T THINK I
CAN MAKE IT ON MY OWN?

I KNOW YOU CAN'T
MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN.

THEN I'M JUST GONNA HAVE
TO PROVE IT TO YOU! LOOK HERE.

WH-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN,
YOU GONNA PROVE IT TO ME?

- I QUIT.
- YOU MEAN YOU QUIT
THE PARTNERSHIP?

BINGO! GIVE THE MAN A CIGAR.

IF YOU GIVE UP YOUR
SHARE OF THE BUSINESS,

THEN IF I DIE, YOU WON'T
BE GETTIN' ALL OF THIS.

YOU KNOW WHO'LL BE GETTIN'
IT? STATE OF CALIFORNIA.

I DON'T THINK THE STATE OF
CALIFORNIA WOULD ACCEPT IT.

THEY GOT ENOUGH POLLUTION.

SO YOU'RE REALLY GOING, HUH?

THAT MEAN WE WON'T BE
SEEIN' EACH OTHER NO MORE?

I'LL COME AROUND AND VISIT YOU
ON FRIDAYS LIKE GOLDSTEIN'S SON.

YOU KNOW, THAT OLD JUNK
DEALER DOWN THE STREET?

HIS SON VISITS HIM EVERY FRIDAY
NIGHT AND THEY HAVE CHICKEN SOUP.

THAT'S BECAUSE THEY JEWISH.

SEE, AND EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT
THEY DO SOMETHING RELIGIOUS.

SO IS THAT WHAT WE GONNA
DO, SOMETHING RELIGIOUS?

UH, WHERE WILL YOU BE WORKIN'?

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
I'M GONNA FIND OUT.

I'M GOING DOWN TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT
OFFICE AND SEE WHAT KIND OF JOBS THEY GOT.

I WANNA GET ME A JOB WHERE I CAN
USE MY HEAD AS WELL AS MY HANDS.

WELL, THEY GOT IT FOR YOU. THEY'LL PUT A
CAP ON YOUR HEAD AND A BROOM IN YOUR HAND.

THAT'S VERY FUNNY, POP. AND JUST TO
SHOW YOU THAT THERE'S NO HARD FEELINGS,

I'M GONNA STICK AROUND HERE UNTIL
YOU GET SOMEBODY TO FILL MY JOB.

I'LL HAVE YOUR JOB
FILLED TOMORROW.

YOU THINK SO? WHO YOU
GONNA GET? ANYBODY.

I'M GONNA CHANGE THE SIGN NOW FROM
"SANFORD AND SON" TO "SANFORD AND ANYBODY."

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO 'CAUSE I'M GETTIN'
OUT OF HERE. I'M GONNA GET ME A JOB.

I DON'T CARE. LISTEN, YOU AIN'T NEVER
GONNA FIND ANOTHER JOB LIKE THIS ONE.

YOU'LL BE BACK HERE TOMORROW
BEGGING FOR YOUR JOB.

AIN'T NOBODY GONNA HIRE YOU.

ONE THING TO BE A DUMMY, AND
IT'S ANOTHER THING TO BE STUPID.

AND AIN'T NOBODY GONNA
HIRE NO DUMMY, STUPID.

STUPID DUMMY.

MR. CLIFFORD? LAMONT
SANFORD. THAT'S RIGHT.

YES, THANK YOU. I'LL TAKE
THAT. PLEASE BE SEATED.

FIRST OF ALL, LET ME ASK YOU
A FEW QUESTIONS, MR. SANFORD.

WHAT'S YOUR
EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND?

I WAS WORKING TOWARD MY PhD,
BUT I DIDN'T QUITE COMPLETE IT.

I SEE. HOW FAR DID YOU GET?

ABOUT THE TENTH GRADE.

OKAY. WHAT WAS YOUR LAST JOB?

WELL, I WAS, UH... I WAS IN
COMMODITIES, MR. CLIFFORD.

COMMODITIES. COULD
YOU CLARIFY THAT A LITTLE?

YOU SEE, I WAS THE
HEAD COLLECTOR.

I COLLECTED THINGS THAT ORDINARY
PEOPLE DON'T RECOGNIZE AS BEING VALUABLE.

- YOU MEAN, DISCARDED OBJECTS?
- IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.

ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL
ME THAT YOU'RE A JUNK MAN?

ACTUALLY, THAT'S WHAT I
WAS TRYING NOT TO TELL YOU.

LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE QUALIFIED
FOR UNEMPLOYMENT COMPENSATION.

UNEMPLOYMENT COMPENSATION?
I CAME IN HERE TO LOOK FOR A JOB.

THERE'S NO REASON
WHY AN ABLE-BODIED MAN...

CAN'T FIND A DECENT JOB IN
THIS LAND OF OPPORTUNITY.

I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT I'M PREPARED
TO ROLL UP MY SLEEVES AND GO TO WORK.

I DON'T HAVE TO DEPEND ON A
MERE HANDOUT OF $65 A WEEK.

- IT'S $75.
- IT IS?

AS MUCH AS I HATE TO, MR. CLIFFORD,
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO...

I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO ACCEPT
THAT UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK OF $75 A WEEK.

WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE TO. HERE'S
ONE THAT'S RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.

YOU KNOW WHERE 9278
SOUTH CENTRAL AVENUE IS?

9278. THAT REALLY
IS UP MY ALLEY.

THAT'S RALPH
BACKSTROM'S JUNKYARD. YES.

MR. BACKSTROM'S
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.

DO I HAVE TO TAKE THIS JOB? THERE'S NO
CHANCE OF ME GETTING UNEMPLOYMENT?

NOT AS LONG AS WE CAN FIND YOU
A JOB RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY. OKAY?

YOU CAN START TO
WORK IN THE MORNING.

THE FIRST THING IN THE
MORNING, I WANT YOU

TO GO DOWN TO THE
SUPREME SALVAGE COMPANY...

AND PICK ME UP SOME
BATHTUBS I ORDERED.

BY THE WAY, CAN
YOU DRIVE A TRUCK?

YEAH, I KNOW ALL ABOUT TRUCKS. I CAN
TAKE ONE APART IN FIVE MINUTES, MAN.

I AIN'T TALKIN' ABOUT STRIPPING
'EM, I'M TALKING ABOUT DRIVING 'EM.

YOU GOT A DRIVER'S
LICENSE? OH, YEAH, RIGHT HERE.

GEE-MO-NETTY.

YOU SURE TAKE AN UGLY PICTURE.

OH, THAT'S BECAUSE IT
WAS EARLY IN THE MORNING.

WHEN YOU THIS UGLY IN THE
MORNING, YOU THAT UGLY AT NIGHT.

LOOK HERE. NOW, I GOT...

I GOT THIS ADDRESS
AND I GOT THE CHECK.

HERE'S THE ADDRESS TO GO PICK
UP THEM TUBS, AND TAKE THIS CHECK.

OKAY? NOW, LISTEN.
ALL RIGHT, MR. SANFORD.

NOW, IF YOU TRY TO
RUN OFF WITH MY TRUCK,

AND TRY TO CASH THAT
CHECK, I'LL FIND YOU.

MIGHT TAKE ME A WEEK, MIGHT TAKE
ME A MONTH, MIGHT TAKE ME YEARS.

BUT ONE DAY, MAYBE
50 YEARS FROM NOW,

YOU'LL BE WALKIN' DOWN THE STREET,
AND WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT,

A 115-YEAR-OLD MAN GONNA
JUMP OUT OF THE ALLEY...

JUMP OUT OF THE ALLEY WITH A
TWO-BY-FOUR AND CAVE YOUR SKULL IN.

COME ON, GET TO WORK.

RIGHT ON! RIGHT ON! WHAT?

RIGHT OUT.

RIGHT ON.

♪♪ [ Singing ]

POP, WHO WAS THAT BIG
GUY I JUST SAW LEAVING HERE?

OH, THAT WAS KING... I
MEAN, THAT WAS NORMAN.

YEAH, HE'S THE
NEW FELLA I HIRED.

- YOU HIRED SOMEBODY ALREADY?
- SURE. I TOLD YOU I WOULD.

H-H-HOW'D YOU DO?
SHH, ARE YOU KIDDIN'?

I GOT A JOB JUST LIKE THAT.

UH, NO KIDDIN'? WHAT
KIND OF JOB IS IT?

GOT A JOB IN COMMODITIES.

OH, YOU STILL IN JUNK.

LISTEN, POP, THIS
IS A DIFFERENT JOB.

I GOT MORE
RESPONSIBILITY ON THIS JOB.

MR. BACKSTROM WANTS ME TO
TAKE OVER THE WHOLE OPERATION.

BACKSTROM? YOU GOING TO WORK
FOR OLD BIG-NOSE BACKSTROM?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? NOTHING,
NOTHING. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

YEAH. YOU GOT YOURSELF A
NEW MAN THAT YOU'RE HAPPY WITH,

AND I GOT MYSELF A NEW
JOB THAT I'M HAPPY WITH.

YEAH. I-I GUESS YOU'LL... YOU'LL
BE LEAVIN' SOON, WON'T YOU?

YEAH, IT LOOKS THAT WAY. YEAH. WELL,
YOU GONNA STAY TONIGHT FOR SUPPER?

NO, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
I GOT A HEAVY DATE.

FRIDAY? I ALMOST
FORGOT IT WAS FRIDAY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

WELL, IF YOU CAN GO OUT, I CAN
GO OUT TOO. WHERE YOU GOIN'?

I'M GONNA HAVE ME SOME HOT CHICKEN
SOUP DOWN WITH GOLDSTEIN AND HIS SON.

SHALOM.

HELLO, POLICE DEPARTMENT?

I WANT TO REPORT A STOLEN
1952 RED PICKUP TRUCK.

YEAH, A BIG UGLY
FELLA DRIVIN' IT.

I DON'T KNOW. HE JUST JUMPED
IN AND TOOK OFF! HEY, POP.

UH, YEAH, NORMAN,
IT'S TIME YOU TOOK OFF.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK ALL DAY,
NORMAN. OKAY, NORMAN. GOOD-BYE, NORMAN.

- SAY, WHO WAS THAT?
- THAT WAS NORMAN.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S A
FUNNY THING. IT'S ALMOST

6:30, AND HE STILL WANTS
TO KEEP ON WORKIN'.

HE'S ALL OVER THE
PLACE. OH, YEAH?

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? OH, I
HAD TO... HAD TO WORK A LITTLE LATE.

MR. BACKSTROM WANTED
SOME, UH, SOME ADVICE...

ABOUT SOME, SOME
FINANCIAL MATTERS.

WHERE WERE Y'ALL
DISCUSSIN' IT? IN THE CHIMNEY?

THIS? I GOT THIS HELPING A COUPLE OF
MY ASSISTANTS MOVE SOME MERCHANDISE.

- ASSISTANTS?
- YEAH. I GOT TWO GUYS
THAT WORK UNDER ME.

NO KIDDIN'? WELL, IF
YOU LOOK LIKE THAT...

AND TWO GUYS WORK UNDER
YOU, THEY MUST STILL BE BURIED.

THE NEW MAN'S WORKING OUT
OKAY? WHERE'S HE AT NOW? OH, YEAH.

HE'S OUT ON THE
TRUCK. YEAH, WELL...

I GUESS I'LL GO UPSTAIRS, CHANGE MY
CLOTHES AND RUN DOWN TO THE DINER.

OH, NO. I GOT YOUR
SUPPER READY. YOU HAVE?

WE DON'T WORK TOGETHER, BUT YOU
STILL MY SON. I GOT YOUR SUPPER READY.

YOU SIT AT THE TABLE AND I'LL
GET YOUR SUPPER. OKAY, POP.

- YOU'RE REALLY TIRED, HUH?
- ME, TIRED?

HOW YOU GONNA GET TIRED
WHEN YOU GOT ASSISTANTS?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I'LL GET YOUR SUPPER.

[ Sighs ]

WELL, HERE YOU ARE.

HOW'S THAT? THAT
SURE SMELLS GOOD, POP.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WANT TO,
YOU REALLY CAN COOK. WHAT IS IT?

IT'S JUST STEAK, GREEN
BEANS AND RICE-A-RONI.

IT'S MY OWN RECIPE. I CALL IT
"STEAK-A-RICE-A-RONI-BEANY."

THESE ARE MY FAVORITE
DISHES IN THE WORLD, POP.

NO KIDDIN'? ISN'T THAT
A COINCIDENCE! YEAH.

I'LL GO GET YOUR DESSERT.

DESSERT? YOU GOT ME DESSERT TOO?

YEAH. YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE IT, BUT
IT'S ALL THEY HAD AT THE SUPERMARKET.

- DEEP-DISH APPLE PIE.
- HEY, POP, YOU KNOW
THAT'S MY FAVORITE.

THAT'S ANOTHER COINCIDENCE.
THAT'S TWO COINCIDENCES IN A ROW.

AIN'T THAT A COINCIDENCE?

[ Ringing ]

FINISH EATIN'. I'LL GET THIS.

HELLO? YEAH, HE'S
HERE. WHO'S CALLIN'?

IT'S OL' BIG-NOSE BACKSTROM.

HELLO THERE, R.B.

EXCUSE ME, POP. I GOTTA TALK ABOUT
SOME BUSINESS WITH MR. BACKSTROM.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. I'LL
GET YOUR DESSERT. OKAY.

WOULD YOU MIND
CLOSING THE DOOR? OKAY.

HELLO, MR. BACKSTROM? WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, WHAT AM I DOING HOME?

I WORKED AN HOUR
AND A HALF OVERTIME!

DID YOU EXPECT ME TO UNLOAD ALL THOSE
REFRIGERATORS BY MYSELF? I DON'T GET THAT!

OF COURSE I WANT THE
J... LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T...

BUT I... WHAT?

WELL, YOU A WHITE ONE!

YOU STILL TALKIN'?
THAT'S RIGHT, R.B.

OKAY. SO LONG.

UH, WHAT DID R.B. WANT?

HE JUST WANTED TO TELL ME THAT
I DID SUCH A GREAT JOB TODAY...

THAT HE'S GONNA
GIVE ME SOME TIME OFF.

NO KIDDIN'? YOU ONLY
BEEN WORKIN' ONE DAY...

AND NOW YOU'RE GOIN'
ON YOUR VACATION. YEAH.

THAT'S NOT BAD. GUESS I'LL JUST
TAKE TWO OR THREE DAYS OFF...

AND JUST HANG AROUND THE HOUSE,
CATCH UP ON MY READIN'. YEAH, THAT'S NICE.

YOU GOT A GOOD JOB
WORKIN' FOR A NICE FELLA,

AND I GOT ME A GOOD
MAN WORKIN' FOR ME,

A GUY THAT YOU CAN LIKE
AND TRUST RIGHT AWAY.

YEAH, IT'S NICE.

YEAH, THAT'S REALLY NICE. YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHAT? UH, YOU KNOW
WHAT'S REALLY NICE ABOUT IT...

IS WE DON'T WORK TOGETHER NO
MORE, BUT WE STILL FRIENDS, RIGHT?

[ Truck Approaching ] RIGHT. SAY,
POP, I THINK I HEAR THE TRUCK.

YOU HEAR THE TRUCK? OH, YEAH,
YOU HEAR THE TRUCK. THAT'S NORMAN.

THAT'S NORMAN BRINGING THE
TRUCK BACK WITH THE STUFF.

- YOU THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA
STEAL THE TRUCK, DIDN'T YOU?
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

NOTHIN'. I'M GONNA HELP
HIM UNLOAD THEM BATHTUBS.

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
YOU BEEN GONE ALL DAY!

I STOPPED HOME FOR A BITE TO
EAT. WHERE YOU LIVE, CLEVELAND?

OH, YOU SURE ARE A TRIP, POPS.

BUT YOU WON'T BE MAD AT ME WHEN
YOU SEE THIS GREAT BUY I GOT YOU.

THIS IS REALLY OUT
OF SIGHT. YOU READY?

UH-OH!

THIS IS THE ONE.

HEAR THAT, ELIZABETH?

I'M COMIN' TO JOIN YA, HONEY,

WITH A BEAR BEHIND.

[ Groans ] WAIT,
MR. SANFORD. IT AIN'T REAL!

I-IT'S STUFFED. STUFFED?

WHAT AM I GONNA DO
WITH A STUFFED BEAR?

Y-YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR? L-LOOK.

EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED, TAKE
THIS BEAR AND PUT IT IN THE WINDOW, SEE.

AND THEN YOU SHINE A
WHOLE LOTS OF LIGHT ON IT.

THEN IF ANY BURGLARS BREAK
IN AND TRY TO STEAL SOMETHING,

WHEN THEY SEE THIS
BEAR IT SCARES THEM, SEE!

- IT'S A WATCH BEAR.
- WHY, YOU BIG DUMMY!

A WATCH BEAR? YOU A
BIGGER DUMMY THAN MY DUMMY!

I OUGHTA TAKE YOU AND SHOVE
YOU DOWN THAT BEAR'S THROAT.

I GAVE YOU A CHECK TO BRING ME SOME
BATHTUBS, AND YOU COME WITH A BEAR.

IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS BEAR BACK AND GET MY
MONEY... I KNEW YOU WASN'T GONNA MAKE IT.

LOOK AT YOU... 200 POUNDS OF
BRAWN AND A HALF OUNCE OF BRAIN.

YOU GO GET MY MONEY FOR THIS BEAR, OR
I'LL GET ME A CROWBAR AND PEEL YOUR HEAD.

COME ON, POPS, TAKE IT EASY.

AND DON'T CALL ME POP. HEY, POP!

I SAID, DON'T CALL
ME POP. OH. HEY, SON.

NORMAN AND I WERE JUST DISCUSSIN'
THE RARE PURCHASE HE JUST MADE.

WHAT'S IT FOR? WELL, UH...
WHAT'S IT FOR? ARE YOU KIDDIN'?

MOVE, NORMAN. LET ME
EXPLAIN TO THIS DUMMY.

SEE, THIS IS A WATCH BEAR.
YOU PUT THIS IN THE WINDOW...

AND SHINE LIGHTS UP ON IT
AND IT KEEPS BURGLARS AWAY.

YOU PUT THAT THING IN THE WINDOW
AND IT'LL KEEP THE CUSTOMERS AWAY!

EXCUSE US, NORMAN. YOU STAY
OUT HERE AND WATCH THE BEAR.

DON'T PULL ON MY CLOTHES. YOU
KNOW I DON'T LIKE THAT. LISTEN TO ME.

[ Grumbling ] SIT DOWN.

LISTEN, THIS GUY'S GONNA
DRIVE YOU OUT OF BUSINESS.

HE'S BEEN GONE ALL DAY
AND COMES HOME WITH A BEAR.

IT'S HIS FIRST DAY ON THE JOB. YOU GOTTA
GIVE HIM TIME TO LEARN THE BUSINESS.

IF WE GIVE HIM ANYMORE TIME,
THERE WON'T BE NO BUSINESS.

I JUST CAN'T STAND AROUND HERE
AND LET THIS GUY DO THIS TO YOU,

SO I'M GONNA QUIT MY NEW
JOB, NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT IS,

AND COME BACK TO
WORK HERE FOR YOU.

WELL, WON'T R.B. BE MAD?

I DON'T CARE, LET HIM.
BLOOD'S THICKER THAN WATER.

YEAH, WHAT'D HE EVER
DO FOR YOU? THAT'S RIGHT.

SAY, POP, THERE'S JUST ONE
THING. WHAT ABOUT NORMAN?

I WOULDN'T DO IT FOR NOBODY ELSE BUT
I'D DO IT FOR YOU, SON. I'M GONNA FIRE HIM.

- BUT WON'T HE BE MAD?
- I DON'T CARE. LET HIM BE MAD.

THAT'S RIGHT. WHAT
DID HE EVER DO FOR YOU?

HE BROUGHT ME A BEAR.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHY
YOU SHOULD FIRE HIM, POP!

YEAH, I'M GONNA FIRE HIM.

SAY, POPS, WHERE'S
MY BREAD, MAN?

YOU WANT YOUR BREAD?

HERE. THERE'S YOUR
BREAD. NOW, YOU FIRED.

AND DON'T... DON'T
NEVER CALL ME POP.

- YOU COME OUT HERE
AND SAY THAT, POPS.
- YOU COME ON IN HERE!

COME ON. COME ON IN HERE! POP!

LISTEN, I'LL LEFT
HOOK YOU TO DEATH.

SAID THAT OUT, DIDN'T I? YEAH.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BACK
IN BUSINESS AGAIN. RIGHT.

PARTNERS ONCE MORE.
RIGHT. YOU KNOW IT. RIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, POP? WE
CAN AT LEAST SAY ONE THING.

- WE GAVE IT A CHANCE.
- RIGHT AGAIN.

AND WE BOTH KNOW THAT
WE CAN MAKE IT ON OUR OWN.

- RIGHT.
- RIGHT.

LISTEN, SON. WHY DON'T YOU GET
OVER THERE AND FINISH YOUR SUPPER?

OKAY. 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHY?

ONE OF THE WORST THINGS IN THE
WORLD IS COLD STEAK-A-RICE-A-RONI-BEANY.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

[ Mumbling ]

IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU HOME HERE WHERE
YOU BELONG. IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME, POP.

IMAGINE THAT NORMAN! HE REALLY
TURNED OUT TO BE BAD NEWS.

IMAGINE SOMEBODY BUYING
SOMETHING AS STUPID AS A WATCH BEAR.

YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT,
AND MAYBE HE WASN'T TOO STUPID.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LAST
NIGHT WHEN YOU WENT TO SLEEP,

I THOUGHT I HEARD A
PROWLER, SO I GOT UP...

AND WENT OUTSIDE AND PROPPED
THE BEAR UP AGAINST THE HOUSE.

AND YOU THINK THAT KEPT THE
BURGLARS AWAY? OF COURSE IT DID.

AIN'T NOBODY COME AND
STEAL NOTHIN', DID THEY?

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
DID YOU BRING THE MAIL IN THIS MORNING?

I FORGOT. I'LL GET IT NOW. OKAY.

♪ FEELIN' TOMORROW
JUST LIKE I FEEL TODAY ♪

♪ FEELIN' TOMORROW ♪

WHAT'S THE MATTER,
POP? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SAY, POP!

HELLO? POLICE. I WANT TO
REPORT A STOLEN WATCH BEAR.

[ Man ] SANFORD AND SON IS RECORDED
ON TAPE BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.