Sam & Cat (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 28 - #FresnoGirl - full transcript

Hey, hey.

So, not the weirdest thing
I've walked in on here.

Sam, hi.

What's up with the, uh, that?

I'm babysitting.

I don't see a kid.

I guess he must've left.

So, you want to tell me
why you're up there?

Well, I was at the supermarket, and
I met a man there named Chico.

Go on.

He told me he had a toolbox in his van.



Loving this story.

So I invited Chico here.

Smart.

And then I asked him if he could hang
my bike from the ceiling, and he did.

That was five hours ago.

Please help me down.

Yep.

Ooh. Oh.

Thanks.

Sure.

So, where you been?

Oh, you know, just getting us these.

Tickets?

Uh-huh.



Well, are they to something?

Yep.

They're free tickets to ride all the
roller coasters at Mystic Mountain

on Saturday night.

What? Seriously?

Seriously.

Uh, but I thought

Mystic Mountain got shutdown
'cause the roller coasters

had mechanical difficulties
and lots of people got hurt.

Yeah, but they think they
got most of them fixed.

Oh.

So before Mystic Mountain
reopens, they want to test

the roller coasters on humans.

Well, we're humans.

But why would we want to ride roller
coasters that could be dangerous?

Because we don't have to wait in line.

I accept that risk.

Woo.

Hey, hey.

Heavy object coming in.

Ah.

Nice box.

Why'd you bring it in here?

Oh, and get it out of here.

This isn't just a box.

Not just a box.

It's a magic box.

Maaaaaaaaaagic

box.

There's only, like, a dozen magic
boxes like this in the whole world.

Cool. How does it work?

Well, whatever or whoever I
put in the box disappears.

Oh, I love how he does this,

when he says, "disappears."

Come on.

Let me show you how it works.

Okay.

Okay.

Sam, you want to be my volunteer?

No.

I'll be it. Pick me.

I want to be in the trick.

Over here. I volunteer.

I'm eager to participate.

Okay. Great.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present
to you this box of mystery.

Now, sir, if you'll please

step inside the box.

I will.

And now, I will shut the door, thusly.

Oh, I used to have a dog named thusly.

Oh, you did?

No. I made that up.

Come on, Goomer.

Aah.

That's far enough.

You're pushing too hard.

No. You're too big.

I don't think it's going to work.

Aah.

Come on. Try... Get out. Get out.

Mm.

May I have another volunteer?

I'll do it.

Goomer.

Well, I'll do it.

Thank you, miss Valentine.

Now, would you please
step inside the box?

Okay. Okay. I'm in.

Show off

now, I shut the magic door of closure.

And next, Sam,

will you help me say the magic words?

No.

Shazam.

And now, I open the box.

I say, "I open the box."

It seems like

something's wrong with the lever.

Why won't this thing open?

Ahh...

It won't open.

Ha, I love it.

Can we get my mom in there?

Here, lemme try.

This broke.

Cat?

Yeah.

You, uh, might be in there

for a while.

What?

I hope there's a magic toilet in there.

♪ I'm never that far ♪
no matter where you are

♪ believe it ♪ we can make it come true

♪ we'll do it our way ♪
no matter what they say

♪ 'cause no one's gonna ♪ do it for you

♪ but I-I-I-I-I

♪ I'll never say never

♪ as long as ♪ we keep it together

♪ if you're living a dream ♪
and you know what it means

♪ then you can't let
them ♪ change your mind

♪ it's the life ♪ that we choose
♪ and we still ♪ break the rules

♪ but it's all gonna be ♪ just fine ♪

♪ Yeah we're all gonna be ♪ just fine

♪ you and me ♪ we're gonna be just fine

♪ hmmm...

Uh, I think

I'm still in the box.

We're working on it.

Dice should have it open in a minute.

You're never going to get
that door open, are you?

I don't think so.

I can hear you.

Look at me. I'm going nowhere.
Yeah, that pretty much

sums up your life.

Dang it, why don't this thing open?

I'm getting hungry.

All right.

Uh, I got a key that'll open anything.

What kind of key?

This kind.

No, no, don't.

That's crowbar, not a key.

Think of it as violent key.

No. Stop.

You can't hit my box with this.

I paid a lot of money for that.

Okay.

Clang.

Well, you're box bent my crowbar.

Serves you right.

What's happening?

Nothing. You okay in there?

Yeah. It's kind of cozy.

It reminds me of my closet where
I used to hide from my brother.

Why would you hide from your brother?

Just, you know, to survive.

Don't worry, I'm going to think of
some way to get you out of there.

Okay.

As long as I'm out before tomorrow night.

What's tomorrow night?

Me and Cat are going to Mystic
Mountain, and we're going to ride

all the roller coasters.

Mystic Mountain?

That's my second favorite place on earth.

What's your favorite place?

How would I know?

Can I go to Mystic
Mountain with you guys?

Oh, sorry,

I only got two tickets.

You said you had four tickets.

Clang.

Fine, you and Goomer can come with us.

Awesome.

All right.

How we gonna get Cat out of my box?

Okay.

I got one more key

that might work.

No!

I don't see how us having lunch
helps get Cat out of the box.

I get some of my best
ideas while I'm eating.

Like, to order dessert.

Can I have another French fry?

You can have another fry.

Uh, put your mouth near the hole.

'Kay, 'kay.

Slide that in there.

Perfect.

And a little ketchup.

Oh, it went in my eye.

Somebody get a moist towelette.

Here's a moist towelette.

You guys, you go to get her out of there.

That moist towelette's not
gonna fit through that hole.

I've got to try.

You guys promise to get me out of here
in time to go to Mystic Mountain?

I wouldn't say, "promise,"

but we'll see if we can... Hello.

Why is there a box here?

It contains a person.

Cat's stuck in there.

Oh, no.

Uh, robot,

don't you have lasers?

Yes.

I have one laser in my finger.

Can you use the laser to open the box?

Sure.

No. Don't cut my box.

Laser.

Ahh.

Oh, no.

Uh-oh.

I thought I told you kids,
"no fires at restaurants."

Get in the car.

You never saw me.

Okay, Cat, good night.

Good night. Uh, darn it.

What?

I have an itch.

Where?

I'd rather not say.

Just scratch it.

I can't reach it.

Well, then, uh, whatever part of
you itches, just wiggle it up

against the side of the box.

'Kay, 'kay.

All right. Ahhhhh...

You good, now?

Yeah.

But it's a little cold in here.

Would you cover me up?

Yeah, sure.

There you go, kid.

Thanks. Hey, Sam?

Yeah.

Being locked in this box,

it's given me a lot of time to think.

Uh-huh.

Like, I've been going to school at
Hollywood Arts for a long time now,

and I still don't know,

do I want to be an actress or a singer?

When I'm acting, I feel like I get to,
you know, explore different parts

of my personality that are so
different from the real me.

I don't know.

I just... I love singing, too.

♪ Sounds of the tube socks

♪ heard in the day

♪ lulled by the moonlight

♪ have all past away

Sam?

Yeah.

You promise me you're
eating a healthy breakfast?

Super healthy, just
eating some fresh fruit.

I smell bacon.

Oh, that's, uh, that's
just my new shampoo.

Cool.

Hey, you didn't make a mess
in the kitchen, did you?

No, no.

The kitchen's all clean.

Hey, can I have some more juice?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

You ready?

Uh-huh.

Suck.

Ahh. Sam?

Yeah.

I'm hungry.

Well, I don't have food that's going
to fit through... Wait a second.

You want an egg?

Yeah. I love eggs.

Okay. Suck.

Oh, ooohh.

Want another egg?

No. Please.

Sam, you have to get me out of this box.

I gotta ride the roller coasters tonight.

Mystic Mountain closes at midnight.

We'll get you out of
there as soon a we can,

then we'll head on over and...
I am in your apartment.

Me, too.

Hey.

I'm still in the box.

Can I do it?

Do what?

Uh, see, it's weird talking
to Cat when she's in a box

and we can't see her face, so I brought
a picture of Cat to put on the box.

You brought a picture of me?

Better, I drew one.

I made it with my art set.

Hey, Dice.

Yeah.

Clean up our kitchen.

No.

Then why you here?

'Cause I think I got a way for
us to get Cat out of the box.

How?

I buy all my magic supplies at that place
on the corner of Melrose and LA brea.

Hatty McRabbit's?

Yeah.

And there's this guy who
works there, Vance Anderson.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard of him.

Isn't he a famous teenage magician?

Yeah.

And he's a friend of yours?

No. I hate him.

Oh.

He's always really mean to
me, but if anyone can open

that box, Vance Anderson can.

They used to make baseball bats out
of wood, but now they're mostly

made of aluminum.

I just wanted to say something.

So this, uh, Vance Anderson guy
will come here and open the box?

No way.

But if we take the box to the
shop, he'll open it there.

Cool. Let's go.

He doesn't start work till six.

Tonight?

No.

We'll miss the roller coasters.

No, we won't.

We'll get the box to
Vance Anderson at six.

He'll get it open by seven.

Then we'll get to Mystic
Mountain by eight.

K'boosh, we ride roller coasters
from eight to midnight.

Yay.

Awesome.

I don't know what k'boosh means.

It's a Jewish holiday.

That's right.

So you sure this box is going
to fit in the back of your car?

Sure.

Cool.

But I don't know where it is.

You lost your car?

No, didn't lose my... Yeah, I lost it.

Hey, nona has the keys
to my brother's car.

Great.

Eww.

Did someone blow in my hose?

No.

Are we in the magic place here?

Uh-huh.

There's Vance Anderson.

So you just spray this
ink on someone's shirt,

and then five minutes later,
it magically disappears.

They're shirt?

No, silly, the ink.

That's so cool.

You're so cool. Call me.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, Vance Anderson.

Oh, Dice.

What up, little man?

I hate when he calls me that.

So, did you take my
advice and give up magic?

No.

Why should Dice give up magic?

'Cause he's a terrible magician.

You never told me you
were a terrible magician.

I'm not.

Look, man, I don't appreciate
how you're always... Shh.

Man, checkout the blonde.

Nice jeans.

Hey, Sam? Guess what?

Vance Anderson likes your pants.

What about my pants?

Nothing.

Sam, Vance Anderson.

Wow, teenage magician.

I'm super impressed.

Most girls are.

I'm Cat Valentine,

stuck in the box.

Oh, yeah, Dice told me.

I'm familiar with this unit.

Magic disappearing box, made in Yerba.

Quality piece.

Thank you.

Look, uh, we got some place to go,
so would you just open the box?

Yeah. Can you?

Sure, I can.

Any decent magician could
open up one of these.

Well, I bet a terrible
magician could open it, too.

Can't you, Dice?

I'm not a terrible magician.

Just open the stupid box.

Will that make you happy?

If I open that box, will that put
a smile on that pretty face?

You know what I'd like to do to you?

Sam.

Yes, please put a smile

on my pretty face by opening the box.

Okay.

Now before I use my special
tools on this baby,

after I open it, what say
we all go out to dinner?

You can share my potato skins.

Yeah.

Sounds super tempting, but we're
all going to Mystic Mountain.

Whoa,

I love roller coasters.

I'm in.

We only got four tickets.

Uh, then I'll take Dice's ticket.

What?

I mean, it's not like he's tall
enough to ride most the rides.

Hey, you know something, Vance Anderson, I...
don't tick me off, Dice,

'cause you need that box opened,
and I'm the only guy in L.A.

with the skills and tools to do it.

You...

it's getting hard to breathe in here.

All right.

You can have my ticket.

Uh, but Dice is the one who
locked Cat in the box,

so seems like Vance Anderson

should get Dice's ticket.

You know, I may be a terrible
magician, but sometimes you...

you're not a very good friend.

So you admit you're a terrible magician.

You know what, just take my
ticket, just open the box.

Sure.

There's a little button on the back,
left side near the top, just push it

and the box will open.

What?

Push it.

What, you... you just... you push
a button on the box and it opens?

That's right, doll.

Push the button.

Why didn't you tell me that on
the phone when I called you?

I didn't feel like it?

I swear, Vance... Just push the button.

Push it.

Push it again.

Okay. Move, dip-head.

Huh, it's broken.

Uh-oh.

What?

Broken?

Yeah.

Sorry kids, looks like
you got a defective box.

Now, let's get to Mystic Mountain.

Uh, no.

We said you can have my
ticket if you open the box.

All right.

But, uh,

how about a little kiss

before you go?

You want a kiss, from me?

Oh, yeah.

Okay, okay.

But let's go out there

where no one can see.

Me likey.

Okay.

I took care of Vance Anderson

but I knocked over this can of red paint.

Oh. So now what?

Well...

Sam, you promised me

that no matter what, I could
go to Mystic Mountain tonight

and ride the roller coasters.

I know, but... and you always say

you never break a promise.

Yeah, but how... Sam.

...All right.

We'll take you to Mystic Mountain.

Yay.

How long till we get there?

About another half hour.

Oh, man, I can't wait to ride
all those roller coasters.

Me either.

Uh, it looks like a bump

in the road up there.

I know how to drive.

Hello? Are we almost there?

How close are we to Mystic Mountain?

Sam?

Sam?

Sam?

Okay. Everybody ready to go

to the magic store?

Can't wait.

All set.

Weeeeeeeeeee...!