Sam & Cat (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 24 - #YayDay - full transcript

Hi.

Wait a second.

Oh.

You know, it's going to be really
hard to drink out of those.

I'm trying to teach myself how to juggle.

But why use glasses?

Well, I tried knives,
that didn't go well.

Oh Sam, you're so violent.

So, you went to the mall?

Yeah, but please don't be mad at me.

Why would I be mad?



'Cause I left you alone to babysit.

When?

Now.

I'm babysitting right now?

Yes. You forgot?

Uh... Mandy, Andrew, are
you guys back there?

Oh yeah, those kids.

What happened?

What did you guys do to your heads?

We gave each other haircuts.

With these.

You let them play with giant
scissors and hedge clippers?

I didn't even know we had a hedge.
Give me those.

What are we going



going to tell their mother?

Uh... Hey kids, go back
there in our room,

look in Cat's closet,
and find yourselves

a nice couple of hats.

Yes!

Free hats!

So, what did you buy?

No, no, no.

Hands off the bags.

Why can't I look?

'Cause there might be

a special surprise in there for you.

Ooh, you got me a present?

Maybe.

Well, let me see.

No, no, no.

Come on.

You have to wait until Yay Day.

What's Yay Day?

It's a new holiday I made up.

Oh cripes.

Oh no, think about it really,

what's the best part of Christmas?

Pie.

Presents.

I like pie.

What's the best part of your birthday?

Cake.

Presents.

Okay.

So, I got to thinking...

which never goes well.

Since everybody loves presents,

why not create a holiday

that's just about presents?

Yay day.

Exactly.

'Cause what do people say

when they get presents?

Yippee.

No.

Wahoo.

No.

Mazel tov.

People say "yay."

Come on, say it with me, yay!

You're not saying it with me.

Will you just give me my present?

Yes.

On Yay Day, which I declare

is this Saturday.

Don't you mean satur-yay?

Don't joke about Yay Day.

♪ I'm never that far ♪ no matter
where you are ♪ believe it

♪ we can make it come true ♪ we'll do
it our way ♪ no matter what they say

♪ 'cause no one's ♪ gonna do it
for you ♪ ooh ooh yeah ♪ but I

♪ I'll never say never ♪ as
long ♪ as we keep it together

♪ if you're living a dream ♪ and you
know what it means ♪ then you can't

♪ let 'em change your mind ♪
it's the life that we choose

♪ and we still break the rules ♪
but it's all gonna ♪ be just fine

♪ yeah, we're all gonna ♪ be just fine ♪
you and me ♪ we're gonna be just fine

♪ Yay Day, Yay Day ♪ it's always so
pleasant ♪ yes, when we get presents ♪

♪ it's always so pleasant ♪

♪ we have to say "yay" ♪

Whoa!

No, will you stop it?

Why don't you stop it?

I'm just trying to be... I've told you

a thousand times... my friend,

you should support that.

I know, but... you guys.

Hey.

Boys, boys, boys.

Why are we fighting the
day before Yay Day?

'Cause he thinks since you invented

a new holiday, he can invent one.

And why can't I?

Okay.

Go on, Goomer.

Go on and tell Cat your great idea

for a new holiday.

Sure.

Goomorial day.

Aw, that's so cute and stupid.

See?

Well, wait.

How about Goomentines Day?

Wow, that's awful.

Goomer de Mayo.

Dude.

Kill me now.

Hey, could you get me a cup of coffee?

No.

So, where do you want us

to put our Yay Day presents?

Over there under the yay Berry bush.

Oh.

It's a magical bush.

Hey, good morning.

When I was asleep... Yeah?

Did you tie these balloons to my body?

Yay-be I did.

Well, now I'm going

to pop them with a fork.

Hey Sam.

It's me and Dice.

I don't talk to people

when I have balloons on me.

Is she gonna celebrate Yay Day with us?

Of course.

No, she's not.

Oh, come on.

Cat invited us to sleep over.

Why?

So we can wake up together on Yay Day.

It'll be fun.

And we all bought you Yay Day presents.

All right, I'll play Yay Day.

Yay!

Yay!

Way!

Just make sure you get us presents.

I will.

I will buy everybody

presents except for Cat.

Why not me?

'Cause you are a dirty snooper.

You take that back.

Okay, it's true.

Snooper?

Yeah, last time I got Cat a present

she snooped my closet

and opened the present

before I could give it to her.

That is not my fault.

The wrapping paper

had little baby unicorns on it.

They called to me.

Well, you ruined the
surprise, so you get

no more presents from me.

But I had a snooping problem.

I'm better now.

Are you?

Yes.
I spoke to my doctors.

They gave me special vitamins

and I think I'm in a good place.

Now I... You're opening

Goomer's present right now.

Oh no! No, I was just...
the tape... Cat.

What?

Put the present down.

- But...
- Put it.

See, she can resist.

Oh, all right.

I'll buy everyone presents for Yay Day.

Me too?

You swear no snooping?

Yes, cross my bra.

Yeah, living a lie.

There's no ribbon in sky.

What is the color

of karma can darma can dama?

I'm suited for drama, my mama.

Modern day holiday,

loot it and move to Bahamas,

boot it and move to Bahamas.

Yeah.

That's great.

I don't know what any of that meant.

It was rap.

Yeah, where'd you learn
to rap like that?

Well, back in the eighties

I spent a crazy weekend in Reno

with the Sugar Hill Gang.

I'm ready.

Is everyone ready?

Is Sam back?

Who's ready?

Ready for what?

Well, it's Yay Day's Eve,

which means it's time for us

to read a story of how
Yay Day came to be.

Well, I thought you just

invented Yay Day this week.

Well, I did, but much like superheroes,

every good holiday

has a story of how it began.

Hey, could you get me a drink?

No.

Now, everyone, take a pamphlet.

Pamphlet.

Pamphlet.

Okay.
Now, open your pamphlets

to page one.

"A hard yay's night,
the story of Yay Day

by Cat Valentine."

Hey y'all, sorry I'm late.

But I got you guys some

awesome presents for tomorrow.

Yay!

Wonderful.

Oh, Nona, you're here.

What'd you get me?

What'd you buy me?

Can you give me a hint?

I'm not telling you what I got you.

Come on, can I eat it?

Can I wear it? Is it purple?

You'll find out tomorrow on Yay Day.

Come on, just one hint.

Does it start with a letter?

Yes.

Which letter? A? R? W? 7?

Cat!

That's enough.

You promised no snooping.

I'm not snooping.

I'm simply asking some questions.

Asking me a ton of questions

is a form of snooping.

Okay.

Hey Sam, in those bags there,

do you have anything I could drink?

Nah.

Well, I think it's time

for us to continue reading

the story of how Yay Day began.

You guys ready?

I am.

Me too.

Let's do it.

Goomer, why are you crying?

I can't read.

You can't read?

No, I can, I was just

messing with all of y'all.

"To Cat, from Sam."

That's so clever.

Mouthwash?

Sam bought me mouthwash for Yay Day?

"For people with terrible
smelling breath."

Wait, there's something else.

Foot wash?

Okay, okay, who wants

another Yay Day fried pancake?

Me.

Nona do.

Hey, could I get

some orange juice or something?

Oh, sorry, we're out of orange juice.

Well, can I get something to drink?

No.

You know, when I was a kid

and we got thirsty on a hot day,

we'd find ourselves a damp rock,

flip it over and lick it.

I just wanted,

like, a juice box or something.

Well, sorry, kid.

Go find a wet rock.

Flip it over and lick it.

Oh, here comes Cat.

Happy Yay Day!

Yeah, whatever.

Hey Cat, want a fried pancake?

No thank you.

I'm just going to have
some orange juice.

Oh, there's some right in the fridge.

Is it time to gather

around the yay Berry bush

and open our presents?

Yeah, baby!

Woo!

Hey Cat, you coming?

No. I Think I'm just going

to go sit outside on the patio.

What do you mean?

It's Yay Day.

So, who cares about Yay Day?

I'll tell you who, not
me, that's who not.

But you invented Yay Day.

So?

What if I invented a hot dog?

You think I'd squirt mustard

all over myself all day
and sleep in a bun?

No.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Hey, hey, hey, come on,

everybody's super excited

to open their presents.

Yeah.

Yeah, open up their presents.

Okay.

Sam.

I will be right back.

Hey, hey, hey.

No drinkie.

Man.

Jeez.

If Sam thinks my breath
and feet smell bad,

then she doesn't deserve

this nice new expensive jacket.

What do you want, Herb?

Can I park my new boat in your garage?

New boat?

Yeah.

I just bought a new boat.

But we don't have a garage...

Hey, look what I found in the street.

It's an old nasty pillow with stains.

Wow, that's really cool,

but I don't have time for...

Wait.

I'll trade you

this brand new expensive jacket

for that disgusting pillow.

I don't know, I already got

a lot of expensive jackets.

Come on!

All right.

Thanks.

Sure.

I'm going to go back to my condo.

All right, have fun.

My life's going great.

Happy Yay Day.

Okay.

Here's my present for Sam.

Here you go. Have at it.

Thanks.

Open it up.

Yeah.

Let's see what you got.

All righty.

It looks like Cat got me...

That's it.

Uh... Looks like Cat
got me a dirty pillow

with stains and hair.

Hope you love it.

Cat, maybe you should
open Sam's present.

Oh, right, Dice, that's a great idea.

Here it is.

Thank you.

Oh wow, look, mouthwash.

Really?

Yeah, which is perfect
for me, you know,

'cause my breath always smells

like a gas station toilet.

Wait a second.

Oh, I mixed up the tags.

Here, hang on.

Goomer, this is for you.

It is?

It is? Oh my gosh.

How did you know I love this?

I called your mom.

What is it?

My favorite mouthwash.

It comes all the way from Australia.

Oh, dear God.

You got me the foot wash too!

Yeah, well... Wait, so then,

What did you get, Cat?

Oh...

This.

You got me a Mr. Roper!

What's that?

Do you not know what anything is?

It's just a new jump rope.

The coolest jump rope in the world.

It lights up, and plays music,

and everything.

Remember, you said you
really wanted one.

Yeah.

What did Sam write on
that package there?

It doesn't matter.

"I hate most people, but you I like.

Your friend, Sam."

Aw, so sweet.

Yeah, thanks for the jump rope.

Thanks for the crusty pillow.

Wait, where you going?

We still have a lot
of presents to open.

Yeah.

Have fun.

Well, time to wash my mouth.

That's the foot wash.

Sam?

How'd you know I'd be here?

Dice told me

this is your favorite new spot.

It is.

Why?

'Cause right over there,

there's a crack in the sidewalk.

So, all day long people
walk by and trip

and fall on their faces.

See?

Funny.

You're not laughing.

Yeah, I'm not in a real laughy mood.

Is it 'cause I gave you

a crusty pillow for Yay Day?

Well, what do you think?

When I asked you about Christmas

and your birthday you said

all you care about is the food.

Yeah, well, maybe

if I'd ever gotten a good...
just... what?

No.

Tell me.

Guess what my mom

gave me for my ninth birthday?

What?

A shovel and a bowl of meatballs.

Were the meatballs, you know, tasty?

I don't know.

I used the shovel to bury

the meatballs in my backyard.

Well, why did you do that?

'Cause I thought that
maybe I could grow

a meatball tree.

And?

It never grew.

Oh, Sam.

I'm sorry I gave you a dirty pillow.

Well, why did you?

'Cause I thought you gave me

mouthwash and foot wash.

But I told you I mixed up the...

Wait, you gave me the dirty pillow

before you opened the
mouthwash present.

Oh look, that little girl.

And down she goes.

I snooped.

You snooped?

I can't help it, Sam,
I'm sick, I'm sick.

I'm a sick snooping sicko.

Oh!

Look, I'm sorry I gave you

a dirty pillow and...

And that your meatball tree never grew.

Thanks.

And I'm sorry I pushed
you off the bench.

It's okay.

Wait, when did you push...

I deserved that.

Hey, hey, hey, look, rabbi.

Oy!

Shalom.

I'm so glad we're friends.

I'm sure you are.

"You know, when I was a kid
"and we got thirsty on a hot day

"we'd find ourselves a damp rock

flip it over and lick it."

It works.