Sam & Cat (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 23 - #The Great Tuna Jump: Reunion Special - full transcript

Cat's old friend Jade West unexpectedly comes over to study with Cat, but Cat - who is terrified of the thought of her and Sam together - commands her to wait outside. Predictably, Jade does the opposite of what she's told, and it turns out she and Sam hit it off immediately. Cat gets jealous, and in an attempt to get back at Sam decides to call Sam's old friend from Seattle, Freddie Benson, and gets him to L.A. When Cat obviously flirts with Sam's ex boyfriend, Sam is of course not about to give up so fast, so she gets in touch with Cat's friend/crush from Hollywood Arts, Robbie Shapiro. And so the game is on.

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And a little a'dis.

And a little a' dat.

And a dash a'dis.

A blob of red, a plop a' brown

come on now, plop on in there.

Excuse me. I'm trying to do my homework.

Well, try to keep it down, would ya?

What are you even doing?

There's like a billion

in the sauces in the world, right?

I haven't counted the sauce of the world.



Well, I am making the perfect sauce

for any food.

Open your mouth.

I don't wanna.

Open.

Well?

It's not a sauce for me.

Well, now I gotta go

change shirts before I start to smell.

So I'll just... Okay. I know you guys told

me that I should knock,

but I got a situation so I forgot to knock.

Don't ask about his situation.

What's your situation?



Geez.

Okay, so two nights ago

I was playing in a poker game.

Now, try to picture this in your minds

as I tell ya the story.

Sure.

Okay.

So I was at bots after hours

and I was just about to win a big hand.

Hey, man.

Thanks again for lettin' us play here.

Just please don't tell my manager.

Ah, no worries.

So what do you do again?

Me? I'm a spear fisherman.

I spear fish using this here spear gun.

That things not loaded, is it?

Oh, oh, yeah.

It's loaded.

C'mon. Who's in?

Me. I'm all in.

I'm out.

I'm Randy.

I'm gonna get more eggs.

Okay, spear fisherman.

This is for all the tuna.

Flush to the ten.

Ah, crabs.

I lost.

Owww, my eggs.

Okay, did the egg boy die?

No.

Then be happy.

You won a lotta money.

I didn't win any money.

You said the spear fisherman guy bet

all the tuna.

He did.

I thought he meant money,

but he was betting actual fish.

Tuna fish?

Yeah, he paid me

with a 1200 pounds of tuna.

Y' know, I got the perfect sauce

for tuna fish.

They aren't ready for sauce they're alive,

swimming in a tank

down at the Fisherman's wharf.

So just sell 'em to some tuna fish company.

You don't get it.

I don't want it.

They aren't normal tuna fish.

They're Kansas razor back tuna.

So what?

People can't eat Kansas razor-back tuna?

No, they taste terrible

and they eat everything, even people.

Why would a tuna fish wanna eat me?

I don't know, revenge?

All right I wanna check out

these vicious tuna.

Let's go.

I can't go.

Why not?

I'm meeting a friend

to work on a school project.

C'mon, let's go, after I change my shirt.

But I didn't like your sauce.

Ah, so what's your school project about?

Oh, it's a...

Ding dong.

I'll grab it.

Hi.

Nice hair.

What are you?

Jade.

What are you doing here?

You said you wanted to work on our project.

At your house, not here.

Whatever.

Let's just go in... No, you can't.

Okay, did you forget

to take your special vitamins today?

No. Yes.

I better go take 'em now.

Now, just stay here and don't move.

I do what I want.

Okay, you wanna tell me what's going on?

Don't you get it?

Not really.

That is my friend Jade out there.

She's the second scariest girl I know.

Well, who's the scariest?

Sam.

Oh, well have Sam and Jade ever met before?

Hush up.

Jade and Sam can never meet.

They'd kill each other.

Dice, you ready?

Ahhhh.

What?

You, you can't go out there

dressed like that.

You got, you got sauce all over your shirt.

I put on a different shirt.

Just a sec.

Whoops.

Okay did you forget to take

your special vitamins today?

Yes, you know what?

I think I did.

Why don't you go to the drugstore

and get me some more

'cause I must be runnin' out or something.

Uh, Cat.

What?

I'm speaking.

There's a girl behind ya.

Hey.

Hey.

Heyyyyy.

♪ I'm never that far ♪

♪ no matter where you are ♪
♪ believe it ♪

♪ we can make it come true ♪

♪ we'll do it our way ♪

♪ no matter what they say ♪
♪ 'cause no one's ♪

♪ gonna do it for you ♪
♪ but I... I ♪

♪ I'll never say never ♪
♪ as long as ♪

♪ we keep it together ♪

♪ if you're living a dream ♪

♪ and you know what it means ♪

♪ then you can't let them ♪

♪ change your mind ♪
♪ it's the life ♪

♪ that we choose ♪
♪ and we still ♪

♪ break the rules ♪
♪ but it's all gonna be ♪

♪ just fine ♪
♪ (just fine) ♪

♪ Yeah, we're all gonna be ♪
♪ just fine ♪

♪ you and me ♪
♪ we're gonna be just fine ♪

um. What happened?

When did I go non-conscious?

Yes.

Oh, no, you're not.

That's it.

No.

Yes.

Now, you gotta... You wanna taste of that?

Oh, my gosh. Sam and Jade
are gonna kill each other.

Sam and Jade are gonna kill each
other. Don't bleed on my bed.

Oh, yeah.

C'mon.

Bleed.

Ooooo.

Girls don't.

Oh, hey.

Oh, you regained consciousness.

Yeah I, I thought you guys were fighting.

Fighting?

Why we would be fighting?

Well, you're both anti-social misfits,

filled with anger and rage.

Wait.

Is that why you haven't invited me

over ever since you moved in?

And why you never wanted me to meet her?

Well, yeah.

What'd you think would happen?

Murder.

Do you wanna murder me?

Well, I... no, I'm good.

So you two are really getting along, huh?

Yeah. Like we found out

that we both laugh when children cry.

How can you not?

I know.

Oh and we both hate people.

No, I hate 'em more.

I don't know.

Oh, dice is ready

for us to head to the wharf

check out his angry tuna fish.

Oh, have fun.

Hey, Jade, do wanna come with?

Sure, why not.

No. We still have a lotta work to do

on our project for Sikowitz.

So? We can go check out the tuna

and then later you can do

all the work for both of us.

Ha, this chick's the best.

Let's hit that wharf.

To da wharf.

Wharf speed.

Ha, good one.

Okay, here I come.

A hundred and ten bucks a day.

Just to keep a few tuna fish here?

That's right.

Ya got the tank fee,

ya got the water rental,

you got the tank rental,

you got that water fee, you got state tax,

city tax, rental tax, you got tank water

fee rental tax, you got... Take the money.

Ah, it smells like gross fish around here.

Sorry, it's the... Oh, it's okay.

I love bad smells.

What the... how come I'm the one
who had to run behind the motorcycle?

Well, 'cuz Sam

said I could ride on the back.

But don't worry.

On the way home I'm gonna let Jade drive.

And Sam will ride on the back.

And then you can run behind us.

Thank you.

Will someone please help me

with my tuna problem?

Relax.

May we view the tuna?

Yeah, they're right in there.

Oh, yeah.

Wow, nice grab.

Thanks.

I was gonna say nice grab.

Nice grab, Sam.

Thanks.

A Kansas razor back tuna.

Very cool.

Yeah, very cool.

Kansas, yeah.

That fish doesn't look so vicious.

Whoa.

Oh, geez.

Check this out.

Sandwich.

Oh.

Ah, that was the fishes.

You always keep a sandwich in your pocket?

Try to.

What am I gonna do?

Do you know how much money I'm gonna lose

on these dumb fish?

Hang on, hang on a sec.

How a, how big would you guys

say this tank is?

Uh, 'bout twenty-five feet.

Well I'd say it's about 21 feet.

Hey. That tank is exactly 25 feet across.

So the redhead is wrong.

Hey, dice.

I think I might know

how you can make some money

off of these tuna fish.

What's ya thinking?

Motorcycle jump?

Motorcycle jump.

We put a ramp right here,

we set one up over there.

We, we put some bleachers in the back here

and then we charge people

a bunch of money to watch

someone jump the tuna.

That's crazy.

I love it.

It's perfect.

I'm on board.

Yeah. But wait, who can we get

to make the jump?

Me.

For real?

Awesome.

Well, no.

I am not gonna let you jump a motorcycle

over a tank full of 1200 pounds

of dangerous tuna fish from Nebraska.

From Kansas.

You're from Kansas.

It, it's fine.

I've made jumps almost that far before.

Over dangerous tuna?

No.

Dude, you got... Hey, hey.

What about the dirty skipper?

Oh, yeah.

Who's the dirty skipper?

He's a guy, like a professional

daredevil and he'll jump

a motorcycle over anything.

He's also filthy.

He's disgusting... But he is awesome

on a motorcycle.

All right, I'll try to book

the dirty skipper.

Wanna get some food?

I'm all over that.

Ooo, hey.

Wanna go to that new salad place?

Ooo, hey, dice.

Have you heard of that new salad place,

"lettuce have lunch"?

Ah, later.

I gotta go book the dirty skipper.

Oh, okay.

Hey, guys.

So you wanna go to that new salad place,

"lettuce have lunch"?

We'll see ya there.

Hey, that new lunch place for
salads is called "lettuce eat lunch."

So you're wrong, again.

Aw, I love popping 'em.

Oh, here he comes.

Watch me mess with this robot.

Hello, you pressed your call button?

Ah, yeah.

Can we please get some heshnermefffizin?

Uh, appreciate it.

Uhhh, pardon?

We just need some heshnermefffizin

when you get a sec.

Searching the menu for heshnermefffizin.

Will you please just dwiggalarfin

the zazzatwillenin?

I, I cannot... I do not understand,

cannot process.

So it serves him right for trying

to be helpful.

Thank you for killing my friend.

Uh, go sit at that table.

I got business.

Oh, hi.

Hey, what's up?

Sup? What's sup is... Looks like you guys

forgot to invite me

to your little get together.

No, we were just about to text you.

Yeah, well just about.

I also notice I wasn't invited

to go with you guys to the movies

last night either.

It was a horror movie.

You hate horror movies.

So? I hate spiders too, but if a spider

was having a birthday party I could swing

by for some cake.

Cat, wait. Come back.

Hang out with us. Sit down.

Oh, no thank you.

I'll be sitting elsewhere

with dice and nona.

Jealous?

Mm, should be.

Hang on. I just got a text.

Having such a good time.

Oh, nice.

My assistant got in touch

with the dirty skipper.

Dirty skipper?

Ah, yeah.

I need him to jump some tuna fish.

Did I miss something?

Probably.

What is the matter with you?

Sam stole Jade from me.

Oh, c'mon.

I wouldn't say she stole Jade.

Well, I would.

'Cuz she did.

I wanted to hang out with them today.

Well, well, you got us to hang out with.

Oh, great.

Y'know where I come from, if someone steals

one of your friends,

you steal one of theirs.

But actually, I like that.

I should steal one of Sam's friends.

Yeah, but Sam's friends live in Seattle.

Yes, Seattle.

Seattle.

Seattle.

You getting an idea?

No, just thought if I kept looking up

and saying Seattle Seattle

I might think of somethin'.

Why?

Well, it's the first of the month.

And, uh, Jade said she might wanna go do

and,some karaoke so I was thinking

I'll meet up with her.

Ooooooo, karaoke, huh?

What are ya gonna sing? Huh?

A little song called "who needs Cat?"

Would you like to come with us?

No. I have homework.

Your book is upside down.

I like it upside down.

Okaaaaay.

I'll show her who can steal a
friend. Sam's phone, Sam's phone,

ah, Sam's phone.

Ah, contacts.

Abraham's fried chicken, Adam's ribs,

Barney's bean barn.

Wow, a lotta restaurants.

Ooo, a person with a Seattle area code.

Oo, Sam. Uh, yeah, hey Sam what's up?

It's not Sam.

It's Cat, her roommate.

Oh. Well, hi Cat.

Hi. Is this, uh... Benson comma Freddie?

Yeah.

Okay, great and are you a good friend

of Sam's?

Yeah, sure.

You could say that.

Who are you talking to?

Mom, please.

Are you staring Carly's door again?

No.

She is in Italy

and she will never love you.

Hello?

Come to L.A. right now.

To, to L.A.?

Yes.

Yes. It stands for Los Angeles.

I know, but why do I need to come there?

It's, uh, it's about Sam.

What'd she get arrested for this time?

No, no, she was, she was run over by a...

A sports utility vehicle.

Wh... Sam got run over?

Yeah. It's real bad.

You know, bleeding gums, fractured bones,

broken buttocks.

You better get here fast.

Wh... okay, okay.

I mean do you think she'll be all right?

No more questions.

I have an itch.

That's not my responsibility.

Aaahhhh.

Yay, Freddie's here. I'm coming.

Where is Sam?

Oh, just... Out with my friend Jade,

probably shopping and trying on hats,

just havin' a big old fun montage together.

Well, when's she comin' back?

I got tuna fish trouble.

I thought you got the dirty skipper man

to jump over 'em with a motorcycle.

He won't do it.

He said that Kansas razor-back tuna fish

are too dangerous to jump over.

What am I gonna do?

Hey, dice?

Yeah?

Get out.

Who's at the door?

Freddie Benson.

Who's Freddie Benson?

An astronaut.

Wait.

I wanna meet an astronaut.

Get away.

Hi. Is, is Sam okay? Is she in the hospital?

No, she's just in here.

Oh, thanks.

Sam?

Sam, where are you?

Sam?

Oh, Sam's not here.

But, but... Didn't you just say she was...

Well, aren't you a handsome boy,

full of questions?

Look, I'm really worried

about my friend sa... Handsome?

Sure beans.

Well, thanks.

So you're Cat?

Yeah, Cat Valentine.

Why?

Do you like cats?

Yeah. But... So, so you're Sam's roommate?

Uh-huh.

The girl who called me last night?

Yeah.

Yeah. Did ya add me to your contacts?

No.

Well there's time for that.

Look, I'm really worried about Sam.

Why?

'Cuz she got run over, apparently

by a sport utility vehicle.

Says who?

You. Says you.

When?

Last night.

You said that Sam has fractured bones,

bleeding gums, and she broke her buttocks.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I, I am so sorry.

Why?

'Cuz I... I've never said buttocks

in front of a girl before.

Oh, it's okay.

Buttocks don't offend me.

Oh.

You wanna hang out with me today?

Well, I, I mean if that's...

See, I don't, I...

I don't know what you mean.

You know, just me and you,

couple a friends.

Hangin'... Uff mi pie esta en fuego.

Ven... pasa el dia conmigo.

Okay. Let's go.

This is so weird.

I'm sorry, all tables are full.

Well, how long's the wait?

The wait time is between ten

and two hundred minutes.

I'll get us a table.

Um, this is our table.

Yeah.

Mm, leftover boy food.

I didn't say anything funny.

What the?

No way.

What Cat?

No, it's... Just, just come with me.

Oh, oh, Freddie.

Ah, well looks who's here.

Sam. There you are. Hi.

What are you do... she... Happening here?

I came down to L.A.

'Cuz I thought you got run over by...

Oh, Freddie.

This is my friend Jade.

Jade, how cute is my new friend Freddie?

Yeah.

He's a pretty little little chunk a' boy.

Well, this is awkward.

Your entire life is awkward.

You should be used to it by now.

She makes a good point.

When did you get here?

This morning.

Yep.

Freddie and I

have been hangin' out all day.

Wait.

So you've been here a whole day

and you didn't call me or text me

or buy me a present?

I was gonna, but... Ooo, Freddie, Freddie.

We're gonna be late for our tour.

What tour?

I'm taking Freddie on a tour

of all the Los Angeles freeways.

Yeah, we're gonna see the 101, the 10.

The 118, the 134.

The 405, which I hear is wide.

Mmmmm-hmmm.

When I have friends come to L.A.

I like to take 'em on a tour of places

where famous people died.

Or where I feel they will die.

Well, we don't wanna be late.

Yeah.

Uh, hey, you guys wanna come with us?

Nope. They're just fine.

Oh, okay.

Uh, well I'll meet you later.

Or not.

Can you believe Cat?

Nah, for some reason

she's always loved freeways.

No.

She's jealous 'cuz you and I

have been hangin' out,

so she called my friend Freddie

and made him come to L.A.

Just to bug me.

Well, where I come from,

and that's a dark, dark place... Yeah?

We don't get mad at people.

We get even.

Actually, we get mad and then we get even.

And sometimes we smear fake blood

on their front door

in the middle of the night,

but that seems extreme in this case.

So how can I get even with Cat for stealing

my friend Freddie?

I really don't wanna take sides.

C'mon.

Okay.

I am getting a strong feeling

you and Freddie used to date.

I'm not proud of it.

Well, since Cat's running around

with your ex-boyfriend...

Don't say it out loud.

You make a date with this guy.

His names Robbie

and Cat's had a crush on him like forever.

Him?

He's sort of a him.

So wait. The iCarly web show couldn't start

until you pointed at the girls?

That's right.

I'd go in five, four, three, two...

You forgot the one.

No, see I, I intentionally

don't say the one.

It's okay, Freddie.

Whenever I count I always forget three.

Nope, I, I didn't forget to say one.

I do it on purpose.

Shhhh.

What?

Shhhh.

♪ You're swell uh, that sounds like... ♪

♪ I think you're swell ♪

♪ I think you're swell Robbie Shapiro. ♪

Whoa.

Ah.

Oh, Cat. You're back.

Uh, Robbie was just singing me

a little song he wrote called...

I know what it's called.

He wrote that song for me.

Cat.

I'm swell, me.

He sang to me over a year ago.

Well, he's signin' it to me now.

My life really is awkward.

Robbie, I thought you and me

had something special.

Well, it seems like

you've got something special

with a lotta fellas.

Tah, good one, glasses.

Why did you call Robbie

and invite him here?

Why did you call Freddie?

Robbie is in love with me.

So?

Freddie's in love with me.

Now wait a second.

If you're so in love with Sam

then why have you been

running around Los Angeles

fadoodling with Cat?

I haven't fadoodled with Cat.

You could've if ya wanted to.

Huh?

How dare you.

You deserve this.

You probably do a lot of sit-ups.

Why are you mad at me?

'Cuz you came here to L.A.

And all you care about is hangin' with Cat.

Uh, I came here because I thought

you broke your buttocks.

Duh, I said buttocks

in front of girls again.

Y'know, none of this woulda happened

if you hadn't stolen my friend Jade.

Oh, what kinda friend are you,

bringing Freddie here and flirting with him

when you know he's the only guy

I ever loved?

What now?

I'm exaggerating to make a point.

I don't understand any of this.

Well let me help you understand.

You and I are being used.

Really? Sam?

Maybe I used you a little.

Well, hecks yeah.

Up to this point in my life

my problem has been a lack of use.

So if I must be a pawn in the game of love

then I say, play ball.

So you have no self-respect?

Not a lick.

Okay, listen to this.

Ohhhh, lemme guess, dice.

You got a big problem, don't ya?

I betcha ya got a big problem.

Yeah.

I got a biiiiig problem.

Wanna know why?

'Cuz I won twelve hundred pounds

of tuna fish in a poker game.

I can't sell 'em and the dirty skipper

won't jump 'em with his motorcycle

even though I sold two hundred tickets.

That kid has amazing hair.

You texted me and said the dirty skipper

was gonna jump the tuna.

Well he was 'til he went online

and found out dangerous Kansas

razor-back tuna fish are.

I'm in major trouble here.

No, you're not.

'Cuz I'm gonna jump the tuna.

Yes.

You promised me you wouldn't.

Oh, what do you care?

You can't like me very much

if you're gonna flirt with my ex-boyfriend

right in front of my face.

Wh... well you flirted with Robbie

right in front of my face.

Oh, you mean like this?

Mmmm, dat was some tasty Robbie.

Y'know what?

Jump your stupid motorcycle

over the tuna fish.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That sounds dangerous.

It is and I don't care what happens to you.

Oh, why don't you go

check up on your new little girlfriend Cat?

Dude I'll jump the tuna,

but my bike's too heavy.

You find me a dirt bike.

Ah... Four stroke one fifty.

You've got it.

I'm recording.

Would you mind saying,

mmm, dat was some tasty Robbie again?

Look, don't take this the wrong way,

but you make me sick.

Did I miss anything?

What is it, mom? How did you know I said buttocks?

Nyehhhh.

I know what I did.

I take geometry.

You know I only like triangular pizza.

So why don't you ask your new best friends

Jade and Robbie to cut the pizza for you

from now on?

All right, screwin' up my pizza

is crossin' a line.

Sorry.

You mess with the Cat you get the whiskers.

Hey guys.

Ehhh.

Ehhhh what?

Hey, Sam, come check out what I got ya?

Yeah.

See?

See? It's your jumpin' bike.

It says dirty Sam.

Well, it said dirty skipper,

but when he backed out I had my painter

change skipper to Sam.

Man, you couldna changed

dirty to sweet mamma or somethin'?

He charges me a buck a letter.

You're a cheap little skunk, aren't ya?

Hey, um, so my lawyer wants you to initial

these boxes and sign here.

You want me to sign a contract?

I just need to be protected

in case, y'know,

in case your motorcycle jump

is problematic.

Whatever.

Okay.

See it says, Sam agrees not to hold dice

legally responsible

if Sam crashes her motorcycle

and her injuries result in the loss

of her arms, legs, or head.

I accept that risk.

Stop it. Just stop it.

You are not jumping over a bunch

of dangerous tuna fish.

Who asked you?

Go get everything ready.

You got it, dirty Sam.

And don't call me dir...

Oh, call me dirty Sam.

You are not gonna jump the tuna.

Oh, why aren't I?

'Cuz I'm not gonna

let you do something stupid and get hurt.

Oh, I'm sorry,

weren't you the one who said, "I don't care

what happens to you?"

Well yeah.

You stole my friend and then you kissed

my kinda boyfriend Robbie

on his pink pouty lips.

And then you said he was tasty.

I lied about the tasty.

I know. I've kissed him.

Well, I promised dice and Sam Puckett

does not go back on her word.

Somebody has to jump over

those tuna on a motorcycle.

Fine. I'll jump the tuna.

Ha, you couldn't jump over a can of tuna.

Now c'mon.

Help me find my motorcycle gloves.

I put 'em somewhere in the closet.

I'm not sure exactly where, but I think

it's somewhere near the back

so I'm gonna need your help, okay?

Please. Uh, Cat.

Hey. Cat, open the door.

No, you're a crazy person.

Why are you doing this?

'Cuz I care about you

even after what you did.

Come on.

I gotta jump the tuna.

Don't worry.

You will jump the tuna.

Everyone, please take your
seats. Dirty Sam is scheduled

to jump the tuna in twenty minutes.

Okay, girls.

How many tickets?

Uh, excuse me.

Spear fisherman comin' through,

outta the way, outta the way.

Yeah, we would like to buy two tickets.

Uh, forty bucks.

Um, I assume that there is a discount

for we spear fisherman.

Forty bucks.

C'mon.

Spear fisherman.

All right, how many tickets?

Jade, hey, Jade.

There you are.

You remember Freddie.

Sorta.

Hello.

We've been hanging out all day.

Allll dayyy.

That's neat.

Did you know that if you merge my name

with his name we're frobbie?

Ooo, I better go get us tickets

to watch the motorcycle jump.

Yeah, you better go.

Help me.

Hey, has anyone seen Sam?

Hey, I have not seen Sam.

Cat, let me out. I gotta be at the wharf

in twenty minutes to jump the tuna.

And there's literally

no food in this closet.

Cat, what are you doing?

I'm wearing your silly suit

and I'm gonna go jump the tuna fish.

Dude, you're gonna get hurt.

Well, and that's the price I'll have to pay

for saving a friend

from doing something stupid.

But you're doing something stupid.

It wouldn't be the first time.

True.

But wait, Dice sold tickets to people

who think I'm gonna jump the tuna.

That's why I'm wearing

your suit and helmet,

so people will think I'm you.

Uh, we don't exactly have the same body.

Not yet.

Ah, yay, boo-soms.

All right.

I'll be back after the jump.

Aw, c'mon.

What am I supposed to eat in here?

I'm sliding some pizzas under the door.

D'ahhh. Rectangles.

D'ahhh, Cat, open the door.

Everyone, please take your seats.

I'm sorry, man, but you shoulda ordered

your tickets ahead a' time.

Come on.

We're dying to see Sam jump the tuna.

I'm not.

Really? How come?

'Cuz I lo... I really like Sam

and I don't wanna see her get hurt.

Anyway, we're sold out.

Hey, those two guys can watch the jump

from that camera lift right there.

You guys wanna watch Sam

jump from up there?

Ahhh, buena vista.

Oh, that will be fun.

Come along then, new friend Freddie.

Up, up, and hooray.

Dice? Cat? Anyone?

I'm out of pizza.

All right, that tears it.

Yyyyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Oh, excuse me, excuse me.

Oh,.

I'm going to see

my granddaughter's roommate jump the tuna.

Well, hello Jade.

Nona.

How's Beck, that handsome boyfriend of yours?

Are you two still bf and gf?

Uh-huh.

Oh,

You know, I used to date a man

whose last name was Beck.

Mmm.

Otis Beck.

Oh, he was a jazz musician

from new Orleans.

You should of heard him blow that horn.

It sounded like a dozen angels

from heaven came down... Oh.

Hello, boy.

You like jazz?

Jazz.

Jazz.

Jazz.

Whoa.

This might be the popcorn talking,

but I feel like I'm the king of the worm.

Ooo, and here she comes.

Give it up for dirty Sam Puckett.

Ah, ah, how do I stop this?

Oh, aahh.

Oh, what are you doing?

Ah, look at her go.

How do I stop it?

Where's the stopper?

Why is she chasing a man with buckets?

No, outta the way.

I don't know, fella.

I'm sorry.

No, no.

Ah, man, I need a rack a' ribs. I gotta stop Cat.

Yes, yes. I'm Sam.

I like food and motorcycles.

Okay, well, jump good.

Yeah, yeah.

Thanks for those words.

Okay, drum roll.

Okay. I can do this. I'm a person.

Trust the force.

In five, in five, four, three, two,

you forgot the one.

It was intentional.

Go Sam.

Cat, no.

I'm gone.

Cat.

Here she comes.

She's gonna... Oh.

Whoa, aaaahhhh.

I can feel the fish biting.

Cat, get up.

Are you okay?

I think so.

Uh, dude, why did you do that?

You don't know how to ride a motorcycle.

To protect you.

Kid.

Did I jump over the tuna fish?

Um, sorta.

He's got my face.

Who are those boys in the water?

There's a fish.

I know.

That's frobbie.

Somebody rescue Frobbie.

Please, don't call us that.

Oh, Freddie's in trouble.

Sam don't.

I'm saving your life.

Hey, you're touching my buttocks.
Ah, I said buttocks again.

Uh, why... Why did I come to Los Angeles?

Sam, who's gonna save Robbie?

Apparently, nobody's gonna save Robbie.

Well, fine.

I'll save him.

Cat, no, no. That's a...

Well, I guess we don't get to see

a motorcycle jump the tuna.

Yeah, but I'm satisfied

because someone got hurt.

That is wicked true.

I'm a spear fisherman.

Y'know, Freddie's nice, but he's too
much of a techie, nerdy type for me.

Yeah, and, y'know, Robbie,

not my cut a' beef.

Mmm.

Um, could you guys not talk about that

right in front of us?

Man, itsafitnahaha.

Oh, sorry.

We'll go out in the hall

and talk about you guys behind your backs.

Thank you.

Oh, hey Benson?

Mmm.

When your face heals up

and you can chew again... Let's you and me

go grab some dinner and have some fun.

Ahhhh.

By the way, I took eighty bucks

outta your wallet.

Hmmmrrrrrmmmmm.

Cat, when my wounds heal, maybe you and I

could hang out, just the two of us.

Would there be meatballs?

There would.

Kay... kay.

Well, Mr. Benson.

Mmm?

I know what might cheer a Freddie up.

Hrrrmmmm.

I'm still a little bit sore, but, uh,

I think I can manage

to finger some strings.

Mmmnnn.

♪ I think you're swe... ♪
♪ Eh-eh-eh-el ♪

Mmmnnn.

♪ You're swell ♪

♪ You're the nugget ♪
♪ to my chicken ♪

♪ the peanut to my butter ♪

♪ adding fiber to our diets ♪

♪ beneficial for each other ♪

♪ you're a piece ♪
♪ of dental floss ♪

♪ and I am the teeth ♪

♪ you're Aretha Franklin ♪

♪ I'm r-e-s-p-e-c-t ♪

we're gonna go walk around Hollywood

and take pics of weirdos.

Come with us.

We're bringing a stick.

What for?

To poke the weirdos.

So? Come with us?

No, thanks.

Apparently, I'm not invited.

Oww, you poked me.

One weirdo down.