Sam & Cat (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 20 - #MadAboutShoe - full transcript

When Sam eats all of the moon meatballs Cat prepared for a Special Moon Dinner, Cat has to make more. Cat gets distracted when she finds a shoe and becomes obsessed with finding its matching pair.

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Subs created by: David Coleman.

Hey, you said you were gonna
help me pull out my loose tooth.

I'm gonna.

But these meatballs, ooh, it's
like they're from round meat heaven.

Ooh.

Ooh!

Ooh.

Can I try a meatball?

Uh, sorry, none left.

There's one right there, on your fork.

I'm sorry, what'd you say?



Will you just help me
pull out my loose tooth?

Yeah. Go stand over there.

All right. Now...

We take this string...

And we wrap it around
your tooth like this.

- That hurt?
- Yeah. A little.

Yeah, well, life hurts. Get used to it.

Now, get set, and hold still.

Okay.

Ready? Uno, d'yoo, sigh-on!

Ah!

It worked!

See? Momma knows dentistry.

And hey, whatever the tooth fairy brings
you for that, I want sixty percent.



Wait...

You yanked out the wrong tooth!

Oh.

Yeah, let's not tell
your parents about this.

- Hi.
- Yo yo.

- Hey, Cat.
- Hey, Jake.

I ran into your Mom on the stairs.

She wants you to head home so
you can start on your book report.

- Okay, but what about my loose tooth?
- Open.

Ah!

Whoa.

There. Now you got two
teeth for the fairy.

Thanks!

I get sixty percent!

So what's all the party stuff for?

The Throbbing Moon!

I'm sorry, did... did you
just say the Throbbing Moon?

Yeah. It's this Saturday.

Wait, what's this Saturday?

You know what the moon is, right?

I've heard of it.

Well, every three years,

when the Earth and Jupiter are
equal distance from the sun.

The moon pulses with light, and that...

Is called a Throbbing Moon.

Hmm, I never knew the moon throbbed.

Yep. So we're gonna have a party!

- Oh yeah?
- Uh huh.

Nona's coming, and Dice.

Oh, that's why I've been working so hard
on those meatballs for the past few days.

What?

Nothing. It's nothing.

Hey!

What happened to my
Throbbing Moon meatballs?

I got hungry before
lunch, and after lunch.

I also had them for lunch.

There were forty-five balls in here!

I know, but...

They're in a better place now.

Fine. I guess we won't
have meatballs on Saturday.

What?

Yeah. I'll just steam
some weenies or something.

No. No. No. No. No. No. Cat, you
have to make some of those meatballs.

No!

I'm not kidding you. I know
meatballs and your meatballs

are the meatballiest
meatballs I've ever met!

Come on, please?

- Fine, I'll make more meatballs.
- Sh'zazz!

If you come with me to the supermarket
right now to buy more stuff.

Done! Let's rollio!

Rollio. Sam, you always come
up with the best exit lines.

- Excuse me, Sam?
- Yeah?

Jake tells me you pulled
out his loose tooth.

And a perfectly good tooth?

With a monster truck?

Uh, no.

I haven't seen Jake for days.

- Wait a minute.
- Let's go.

What have I told you about lying?!

But Mom!

♪ I'm never that far.

♪ No matter where you are.

♪ Believe it, we
can make it come true.

♪ We'll do it our way,
no matter what they say.

♪ Because no one's
gonna do it for you.

♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah!

♪ But I, I, I, I...

♪ I'll never say, never.

♪ As long as we keep it together.

♪ Oh!

♪ If you're living a dream,
and you know what it means.

♪ Then you can't let
them change your mind.

♪ It's the life that we choose,
and we still break the rules.

♪ But it's all gonna be just fine.

♪ Just fine.

♪ Yeah, we're all gonna be just fine.

♪ You and me we're gonna be just fine.

♪ Oh.

Wait, you're supposed to lick it, right?

No. You chew licorice.

Well, then why does the
name have lick in it?

- Because you can't call it chewrish.
- Oh.

I have a friend who's chewrish.

So, how'd you learn to
make your awesome meatballs?

My Nona taught me.

Well, you have gotta start making
those things way more often.

- Because I'm telling you...
- Aah!

What, what happened? You see a cop?

No. Shoe! Shoe in the bush!

No. No. No. What are you...

Ah, dang it.

Dude, we're on a meatball mission.

- Now, come on.
- Look at this shoe I found!

Ah!

Oh, holy pickles, it fits perfectly!

- Oh.
- It's just a shoe.

The best shoe ever!

Look at it!

Hey, hey, I don't
need to smell the shoe.

Yes, you do!

Oh my gosh, my foot is in love.

Okay, people are staring.

It's love at first shoe!

I'm so over you!

Uh, if I go get that, can I keep it?

I don't care.

We have to find the other pink
shoe! I need the second pink shoe!

What?

I live in a condo.

- So?
- My life's going great.

Cool.

I'm thinking of buying a
new home theater system.

Bye.

Nice shoe.

See? Come on! We have to
find the other pink shoe!

You stupid shoe bush.

Not a shoe...

Not a shoe.

A shoe, but the wrong shoe.

Cat, let's go.

Not a shoe.

All right. Hey, hey you kids...

You guys know how to make meatballs?

Ah!

You're smart to run!

Cat, come on, come out of there.

Ah!

Listen!

I am in love with this pink shoe I
found, so I have to find the other one!

I don't have time to think about
meatballs, meatloaf, meat fruit.

Or any other kind of meat,

until we find the other pink
shoe that matches this pink shoe!

Okay. I get it.

Thank you.

Now, I've already searched through
over half this garbage... ah!

Sam, put me down!

Sure thing!

Let me go!

Sure, as soon as we get the
ingredients to make more meatballs!

No!

I have to find the other pink shoe!

But I love your meatballs!

Now, I found the shoe yesterday,
in this bush at 4:18 P.M.,

approximately 25 yards from the
corner of Shields and Yarnell.

- Can I please go home?
- No!

So I already searched the area where
the missing left shoe was found.

These wads of bubble gum represent
all twelve trash cans in the area,

which I checked, but the missing
right shoe wasn't in any of them.

Why can't Sam just help you
find the other pink shoe?

Because Sam doesn't think
Cat needs to be wearing a

pair of nasty pink shoes
she found in a street bush.

You see, Dice, all Sam
cares about are my meatballs.

True, but I don't need you
for your meatballs anymore.

Because I have another plan.

And now I'm gone.

Stay.

Now, Dice, about this shoe...

Hey, why don't you just buy another
brand new pair of those pink shoes?

What?

I mean, did you check online?

Is that a serious question?

- Are you messing with me, Dice?
- No.

Because I... I feel like
you're messing with me.

I just wanted to know
if you checked online.

Yes, Dice.

I spent the last sixteen
hours of my stinking life

checking every shoe website
on the world wide stinking web!

Duh!

- Can I get you some aspirin?
- No! Can you get me some shoe?

Okay. What do you want from me?

I want you to use every possible resource
at your disposal to find out where that

shoe came from, who wore it, and how
its partner ended up in this street bush.

Alright, I'll do everything I can.

Let's bring this shoe home, Dice.

Let's bring her home.

- Hey Goomer, I can't talk right now.
- Huh? What?

Because I gotta put my meat out!

Just a second.

Hey Nona!

- Hello, Sam.
- Come in, come in.

Thank you.

I was so surprised when you called.

- Why surprised?
- Well, you never called me before.

Well, that's why I called.

Because I realized that you and me,

we don't get enough time
to just hang, and talk.

You know, girl time. Let's hug.

Ah, I love your smell.

- Sit, sit.
- Oh, thanks.

Yeah.

So, how long you been Cat's Grandmother?

Since she was born.

Cool, cool.

So I hear you make meatballs.

- Yes, I do.
- Good, come with me.

Oh! Oh.

Oh! Look at all these ingredients.

Yeah. Yeah. I looked up a
bunch of meatball recipes,

and I bought every single
ingredient they listed.

- Jeepers.
- And check out these meats!

We got beef, pork, lamb, veal,
buffalo, squirrel and gopher.

Did I tell you I used to
live in Buffalo, New York?

No. I like meatballs.

I moved there right after
I graduated from college.

Oh.

I was dating a professional
basketball player named Bob Mackadoo.

Cool. Make the meatballs.

- Sam...
- Yeah?

I'm beginning to think
the only reason you

asked me here was to
make you some meatballs.

Oh no.

That's so not true.

I think I'm going to leave now.

No, no, Nona! No, please don't leave!

Sam! Get off me!

Don't leave! Please! I need meatballs!

Let me go! For heaven's sake.

Come on! Tell me about your
boyfriend, Mark Sackadoo!

Oh, you're stretching
out my shirt! No! Stop it!

You're embarrassing yourself!

I swear! No! I need meatballs!

Make your own meatballs.

You owe me 94 bucks for
the meatball ingredients!

- Sam! Sam!
- You're yanking my wrist!

- What's up?
- Dice found the other pink shoe.

I don't care about the shoe.

Well, you should because if we can get
it, I'm gonna make you a million meatballs!

- Then let's find the shoe!
- Dice, show her what you found!

- Show me already! Come on!
- Hey, stop!

I can't take all the screaming!

- Shh, it's okay.
- Man.

Shh.

Sometimes you guys get so intense.

Aw! Well, we're sorry, Dice.

- Show her what you found!
- Alright!

Here.

So, first I went on
zap-look and I searched

all the news stories
for the past three days.

This is the boring part!

And get this, the morning that
you and Cat found that shoe...

This shoe.

On the same street, some
girl had a bicycle accident.

Tell her about the TV show!

Right. So there's this reality
show called "American Pipers"...

Wait. Wait wait wait. What are pipers?

Well, they're these
guys who install pipes,

kind of like plumbers, but
they specialize in pipes.

- And?
- And they were filming that day.

And they caught her accident on camera!

I wanted to say it!

Just show me the stupid video.

Here.

American Pipers.

Hey, it's me, Andy.

Me and my partner Omar
are about to move this

20-foot spew pipe
across this street here.

Yeah.

That's a large pipe.

Shh, watch.

Yo Omar, lift up your end of the pipe!

Don't tell me what to do.

Hey! I'm in charge of moving this pipe!

Well I'm Omar.

Hey, hey, there's a girl
riding her bike toward the pipe!

Because I like sassafras,
you like sassafras...

- Hey, who let her through?
- Ah!

- Oh no!
- Oh my God!

Is the pipe okay?

Wah! My spine.

Okay. That was hilarious,
but why'd you show me that?

- You didn't see it?!
- Show her again.

Okay, check this out.
I'm gonna slow it down.

Watch what happens when
the girl hits the pipe.

Sassafras...

- Ow!
- Freeze!

See? See? That's this shoe!

It flew off her foot and landed in
the street bush where I found it!

Well, the other shoe's
still on her foot.

I know, she probably still has it!

So, it's not like you're
gonna go find that chick.

Yes, I am!

Show her the news story!

Does anyone say please anymore?

- Hurry!
- Come on Dice.

Uh, see?

Read it!

Okay. Uh, it says...

The girl, Stacey Dillsen, was
rushed to Peter Sinai hospital.

Where she's currently
in terrible condition.

Well, can we go visit her?

To give her back that shoe you found?

- No, to get the other shoe!
- No. No. Come on Cat.

The girl's in the hospital we're not
gonna go there and take the shoe off her...

- Meatballs.
- Let's get that shoe.

I tell you, I get no respect.

K'kaw!

K'kaw!

Is the coast clear?

Yes. Why do you think
I said k'kaw k'kaw?

Well, I don't know
what k'kaw k'kaw means.

- I just want to find the shoe.
- Then let's find the shoe.

Dang it.

Nothing on her feet, except that sore.

Hey, you check under the bed. I'll
check out this thing over here.

Ah!

Hello nurse.

Doctor.

- How are her vitals?
- Stable.

- Temperature?
- Normal.

- Respiratory rate?
- Steady.

- How's her fever?
- About the same.

- Does she have a Babinski?
- It comes and goes.

Yeah. That's what I figured.

How'd you know what to say?

I've put a lot of people in hospitals.

Now hurry. Let's find the shoe.

Yes!

Ah...

Oh! I found it!

I found it!

Shh!

Oh my gosh. What's...

What's the situation?

Uh, I'm your nurse here to check your...

Stuff.

My stuff?

Yeah. How you feeling?

My skull feels a little sore.

Ah, yes. That's because your
head was impacted by the...

Verdiginal Oompa-Loompa.

Oh my, that sounds serious.

Thank you.

Say, who's she?

Her? She's, uh, she's your
friend, who came to visit you.

I have a friend?

Oh, my head injury
must be super-severe.

I don't even recognize you.

Well, I'm, um...

- Can I tell her my real name?
- No. Don't tell her your real name.

Okay. Okay.

Well, I'm...

I'm Sam Puckett.

The one time she gets
the last name right.

Sam.

Sam.

I'm not sure I remember you.

Well, why don't you remind Stacey
how you two know each other.

Okay, well, you're in
my class, in high school.

Science or social studies?

Science?

Wait...

I'm not in high school anymore.

Uh...

I graduated from Pacific Coast
Academy several years ago.

Uh...

Now I'm in college.

I'm a sophomore at San Francisco state.

No, you're not.

Wait.

Why are you holding
my special pink shoe?

You gave it to me for...

For purim.

That's false.

I'm calling the head nurse.

Sam, do you think we're
gonna be in trouble?

Assistance! Someone!

Assistance!

- Come on, run!
- What's happening?

Make her give me my shoe!

- No!
- Cat?

Oi!

Oh!

Get well soon.

Nurse, what is your name?

Sally Meatballs.

Ah!

Have a good Throbbing Moon.

Sally Meatballs?

I'm suspicious.

Wow!

Look at that moon.

It's so beautiful.

And throbbing.

That may be the most magnificent
Throbbing Moon I've ever seen.

And look at my shoes in
the throbbing moonlight.

- Nice. Cool.
- Lovely.

And hey, how great are
these meatballs, huh?

Mmm, so great.

Marvelous.

Well, I learned from the best.

Aw.

You know, the first Throbbing
Moon I ever saw was back in 1962.

When I was dating Nipsey Russell.

Oh!

Let me tell you all about it.

- Ugh!
- No!

And... three... two... one!

- Go time.
- Oh, oh I think I found a bone.

Oh, no, that's a meatball
that's not a Dice at all.

- Oh my God. Ewe. Ewe.
- Oh my God.

Ah! You're falling behind!

Look, over there!

- The oldest trick in the book!
- Distraction! No!

- Oh! Oh! Yes!
- No!

I am a Dice finding champion! Woo!

We have a winner!