Sabrina's Secret Life (2003–2004): Season 1, Episode 24 - Cat Man Do - full transcript

♪ Who's making magic, making
magic, making magic ♪

♪ Who's making magic, making
magic, making magic ♪

♪ What's going on here,
something's not right ♪

♪ Who's making magic
now every night ♪

♪ Witch Training lessons
till the mornin' light ♪

♪ Living Sabrina's
Secret Life. ♪

♪ Who's making magic
Who's making magic ♪

♪ Who's making magic
Sabrina's Secret Life! ♪

♪ Witch training lessons
now every night ♪

♪ Sabrina's Secret Life! ♪

[Salem:] Must have this.



Need this, don't need this..

Salem, have you
seen my red kicks?

Aahhh!

Whoooaaa!

What are you doing up there?

Toc-Toc is free.

He swore that when he got out,

he would come and get me,
and when Toc-Toc gets people,

they stay gotten.

Why is he after you?

AAHHHow should I know?

I mind my own business,
steer clear of trouble...

Uh-huh.

Okay, so maybe there is this one
little thing from the past.



Okay, okay!

So maybe it was more than
a little thing... more of a

misunderstanding with the
Netherworld judicial system.

Toc-Toc sort of got into
trouble for something I did,

and had to spend 75 years
in suspended animation.

Salem how could you!

I didn't do it on purpose.

It's just that when Queen
Enchantra's dress was set on

fire, I sort of
forgot to take the blame.

I gotta go.

Running away isn't the answer.

I'm not running, I'm hiding.

I just need to lie
low for the three days.

That's as long as he can
stay in the mortal world.

Why don't you just
talk to him about it?

Talk?

To Toc-Toc?

The ravager of worlds?

I don't think so.

I'd be better off letting you
turn me into a loaf of bread.

[strained grunts]

Maybe I can find
something to disguise myself.

Maybe I can find
a spell to help.

You know, if you had your
powers back for a short time,

maybe you could
defend yourself.

You could do that?

Hmmm.

I don't know...

maybe.

Well, if you're
making me a warlock again,

make me a young
-- and handsome...

Heavy on the handsome.

Here we go.

Shifting spells.

Salem, hide, so
he can't be seen.

Turn him to a warlock teen.

Aaahh!

Hey!

Wow!

You do good work!

How long will this last?

It says three days.

Perfect.

Three days of being a
warlock will be enough...

look out Toc-Toc...

Ala-kazoo, ala-kazam.

Put an ice cream
cone in my hand.

Ehhh.

Ala-kazoo, ala-kazam.

Put an ice cream
cone in my hand!

Oops...

What do you mean, oops?

I didn't see this
footnote before.

It's just a shape
shifting spell.

You don't have any powers...

Oh, I'm right back
where I started,

except slower, and with

a greater propensity
towards acne!

Sorry...

But who cares if
you have powers!

Come to school with me.

You'll fit right in.

Toc-Toc won't suspect a thing.

Okay.

But I need you to whip up some
motion detectors tuned to his

personal wavelength...

...so no matter what form he

comes in, I'll know
when he crosses over.

All done.

The minute he steps
in, my alarm will ring.

Okay, now just blend in.

I said blend in, not show off.

Hey, I can't help it if
they're checking me out.

Huh, this is great.

I shoulda had you turn me
into a teenager long ago.

If I'd known you
would be this conceited,

I would have turned you
into that loaf of bread!

Oh, no.

There's Cassandra.

Let's amscray.

What?

Let's go!

Well, hello.

Who's the new guy?

It's my cat...

Kat!

Exactly.

I'm her cousin, Kat.

In town for a
couple days, baby.

Skateboard tour, you know.

Cool teenage boy stuff.

[sigh]

Oh brother.

Kat?

What a cool name.

How come you didn't tell me
you had such a cute cousin?

I just found out
recently myself.

Is he one of us?

He hasn't been one of
anything for a long time.

So, where are you from, Kat?

Katmandu.

It's in Nepal.

Cool.

Can you speak Nepalese?

[makes clicking
noises with his tongue]

[nervous laugh]

What did you say?

I like your shoes...

Come on, Kat.

We've gotta get
you checked in.

Later.

If you need someone
to show you around,

just uh let me know.

I should have made
you a little less cool.

You may have made
the body, 'Brina,

but the cool-ness is all mine.

I'm glad this
spell isn't permanent.

Yeah, we might
have to discuss that.

Ugh, I've created a monster.

This is a study hall.

You should be safe here.

I'll meet you here
when my class is over.

No sweat, I'll be fine.

You better be!

Bye!

Like taking candy from a baby.

So there I was, free
climbing Mt. Everest,

did I mention it's the
highest mountain in the

world -- you've all
heard of Everest,

right?

Well, I'm hanging
there by my claws...

Claws?

Yeah, claws.

That's uh, what we climbers
call our uh, fingertips.

If you'd done
any real climbing,

you wouldn't have to ask.

Now where was I?

Hanging by your
finger tips... uh I mean,

claws.

Mmmm.

Still warm.

Shape shifting spell, huh?

Show me the spell,
that hid Salem so well.

[Sabrina:]
"Salem, hide, so he can't be
seen.

"Turn him to a warlock teen."

Very clever.

Ala-kazee, ala-kazam.

Make me a teen as
fast as you can.

Now where would I find a
teenager on the
weekday?

So I said to the
Grand Pooh-bah,

I said listen Pooh--

[beeping]

Oh, no!

It's Toc-Toc!

[gasp]

Hey you!

New kid!

No running in the halls!

I'm telling on you!

I gotta find 'Brina.

Aahh!

[SURPRISED GASP]

Ewww!

Salem, you smell
like tuna fish!

Toc-Toc, here, somewhere.

Need to get away.

Need help.

Must be turned
into paper, scissors,

rock, anything.

Even that goofy
hall monitor kid.

I need to get away.

Salem, take a breath.

How do you know?

The attic sensor was tripped.

It's only a matter of
time 'til he comes here.

Oh please 'Brina, protect me!

We don't even know
what he looks like.

Well I'm not going
to wait to find out.

Hold on a sec.

Magic mirror, tell me true:
How does Toc-Toc look to you?

[Mirror:]
Warlock Toc-Toc's clever ploy,
Leaves him looking like a boy.

I told ya!

I'm doomed.

If you run,
you'll be suspicious.

And he'll be looking for that.

What am I supposed to do, wait
here until he finds me and

pounds me into oblivion?

No, we'll find him first.

At least we know one thing about
him: he has to be a new kid.

Then what?

We'll get him
put in detention!

Hey!

Look, a new kid.

Do you think that's him?

I don't know.

We need to get a
little closer.

Can't you hurry up?

I'm not here for my heath!

That's him!

That's definitely him.

How do you know?

Would you have patience
if you were locked up for

seventy-five years?

I need more than that...

I need more proof.

That's him!

That's definitely him.

Turn him into a toad
or a mouse or something.

Like duh!

I'm only a half-witch.

Do you really think I can
beat a grown-up warlock?

We're going to
stick with the plan.

If you turn him into
a mouse, I eat him,

it's over.

If my plan works,
you'll be safe just the same.

We just have to get him
into enough trouble

so he's in detention.

For life!

Look over there.

A fire alarm.

When he walks past that,
I'm going to set it off.

The phony boy
is meaning harm.

His presence
trips the fire alarm.

Aahhh!

[fire alarm]

[blows whistle]

Ooh you're in
so much trouble!

[Ms. Magrooney:] Single file
everybody.

Single file.

He did it, Mr. Snipe.

The new kid.

No I didn't!

Look, the glass
isn't even broken.

It must've gone off by itself.

It's my first day here.

I didn't do anything!

Since you're new,
I'll give you a break.

One break.

Your plan's doing real well.

You're still here, aren't you?

Make sure you break
the glass next time.

Well, children, let's
meet our new student.

Rex, would you come to the
blackboard please and write

your name?

Watch this.

Oh powers that be, give
that chalk's powers to me.

What the--?

[laughter]

That's not funny young man!

But I really didn't do it.

Someone else wrote that!

I swear!

Detention will
change that story.

Bye bye, Toc-Toc.

You go girl!

Malvagio.

M-A-L-V-A-G-I-O.

Pretty.

What's it mean?

Wicked.

I told you, it
wasn't my fault!

Who's that?

New student named Rex.

[giggles]

Sounds like a
dog's name to me.

A dog's name, huh?

Thank you.

I've gotta get back to class.

Go to the study
hall and wait for me.

And please keep a low profile.

Hey!

What do you want?

I'm Malv.

What's your name?

Rex.

Where you from, Rex?

Massachusetts.

What's it to you?

Salem, Massachusetts?

No, Boston.

Why?

Are there a lot of witches and
warlocks in Massachusetts, Rex?

Oh, no...

Oh, yes!

I'm going home.

Problem solved.

What about Toc-Toc?

Guess what?

The guy we thought
was Toc-Toc isn't,

but the real Toc-Toc
thinks that guy is me!

So he's going to turn him into
a marshmallow and I'm safe!

[chuckle]

Letting someone else take
the blame is what got you into

trouble in the first place!

Salem, we've gotta save him.

Oh, no.

Where are they?

So you said this chalk
made you draw a rude picture?

Yeah!

But nobody would believe me.

Well, cats can't draw, right?

They need a spell don't they,
and maybe the spell got out of

control, Salem...

Who is Salem?

I've been asking myself that
question for a long time...

This doesn't look like
the principal's office.

What a smart boy I have here.

I-I don't like this;
it's kinda freaking me out.

I bet it is, Salem boy.

I told you, I am
from Boston, not Salem.

You're a very
good actor, Salem.

I had a lotta time to think
about what I was going to do

when I found you.

Maybe the
mirror can help.

They could be anywhere.

What's the big deal?

When Toc-Toc finds
out that Rex isn't me,

he'll move on.

What if he doesn't?

What if he turns
him into a toad,

or a rat -- which is what
you're becoming in human form.

Hey, look at the bright side:
rats are pretty smart--

This isn't fair!

Rex didn't do
anything to deserve it.

I guess you're right.

Magic Mirror,
make things clearer,

Let us know if
we're getting nearer...

Prepare yourself
for your punishment!

[fainting sigh]

W-What was that?!

I may only be a
defrocked-warlock-turned-cat-

turned-teen... but that
sure felt like a magical

transformation.

And it came from the basement!

Fainting?

Ha!

What kind of warlock are you?

He's just a
mortal kid, Toc-Toc!

I'm Salem!

Long time, no see, Toc Toc.

Ya look GREAT!

Haven't changed a bit.

Suspended animation
was good for you!

There is NOTHING good
about suspended animation,

except the thought of REVENGE!

I spent seventy-five
years waiting for this day.

[choked grunts]

Nice to see you, too.

Always joking.

Well, let's see if
you find this funny.

Hold on a second!

What did you do with this kid?

He fainted looking at me.

It happens.

Who are you?

I'm Sabrina the Witch,
and Salem's my slave.

Hey, wait a min--

Silence, creature!

How many times do I have to
tell you not to interrupt me?!

I'll lock you away without food
and water for a week for that!

Oh uh, please, mistress!

Not the box again!

It's too horrible!

My life as a cat is
already a living nightmare!

Hold on.

What's going on here?

I'm supposed to turn you into
a millipede and then pull out

each of your legs one
by one, very slowly!

[fake laugh]

[gulp]

Oh, Toc-Toc, thank you!

Please, turn me
into a millipede!

Pull my legs out!

Please!

Anything's better than to
be a slave to that witch!

She looks pretty
harmless to me.

Listen, Warlock, I
have nothing against you,

but Salem has to pay a debt to
my family for another hundred

years and we don't intend to
let him go before then,

or it'll be war!

That's very disturbing news.

Come back in a hundred years
and you can have him --

or whatever's left of him.

Please Toc-Toc, don't
leave me with them!

You're my only chance!

You have the right
to punish me first!

In the name of our
old friendship!

"Old friendship?"

You're disgusting!

Repulsive.

I agree.

It'll be sixty
days in the box!

He
loves
the box.

Looks like you're
doing a pretty good job.

Here's my card.

I'll be back in a hundred
years for my shot at him.

Just make sure you keep
him alive until then.

[evil chuckle]

Rex!

Rex!

Rex, are you okay?

Don't hurt me!

Don't hurt me!

I'm not gonna hurt you.

Where is he?

Where's the monster?!

You hit your head when you
fell down here... you sure

you didn't just
imagine a monster?

Uh maybe...

Rex, I'm sorry.

I'm the one who got you into
trouble with the fire alarm

and in Mr. Snipe's class.

I should be in
detention, not you.

But how?

The alarm glass wasn't broken.

And it was my hand
drawing on the board...

I give up, it's too complicated
to try to trick you.

[sighs]

Time for an oblivion spell...

So it really
wasn't Rex, it was me.

Why would you do
such a thing, Sabrina?

That's something I would
expect from Cassandra,

but not you.

I thought I was
protecting a friend,

but I know that's
not a good excuse.

I'd like to commend you for
taking responsibility after

the fact, but you need to
learn never to let others take

the blame for your mistakes.

sabrinaI understand, Mr.
Snipe...

...and so will my friend.

So, I'm doing Rex's
detention, plus a few days,

and all this because of you.

Here's the deal:

for the next three months
you'll do all my house cores.

I made a list so you
won't forget anything.

Aaahhh!

You're crazy!

I'm a cat, remember?

Cat's are by nature lazy.

Well, you'll show the world just
how hard-working cat's can be.

I protest!

That's slavery!

Well, it's your choice.

If you prefer, I'll just
make a call.

Let's not be hasty now.

I'll do everything you want!

Tomorrow!

Today.

[giggles]