Sabrina's Secret Life (2003–2004): Season 1, Episode 16 - Best of Show - full transcript
There's a dog show in Greendale. Cassandra has a stunning entry. Margaux and Tiffany are helping her train and show it. Harvey has a nice little dog that he is entering as well. Sabrina decides to help Harvey so she can spend time with him, but also so she can beat Cassandra. But Cassandra's dog is so good looking and so talented that Harvey is almost ready to give up before the big day. Sabrina starts to wonder if something is wrong. She and Salem spy on Cassandra and discover that Cassandra's "dog" is really her evil rabbit Mephista, magically transformed. Sabrina then talks Salem into turning himself into a dog so they can beat Cassandra & Mephista, and the stage is set for a raucous, spell-filled, combative dog show. In the end, two witches' fake dogs take each other out - leaving Harvey's modest little dog to win the prize.
♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪What's going on here,
something's not right♪
♪Who's making magic now every
night♪
♪Witch Training lessons
till the mornin' light♪
♪Living Sabrina's Secret Life.
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
♪Witch training lessons now
every night♪
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
Mrs. Magrooney: Tiffany...
Margaux...
Harvey..
Sabrina...
Good story, with a
great twist at the end.
I enjoyed it.
Cool!
Check it out! I got an A-minus!
Way to go Bree!
Excellent work, Cassandra.
A-plus, as usual.
No use trying to
catch up with me,
you'll always be a
minus sign in my book.
Grrr!
Earth to Sabrina!
School's out!
Don't bother me
with details, Harvey!
I'm having one of those
"why-is-Cassandra-always-better
than-me" moments.
You wrote a great story.
Ms. Magrooney said so herself.
You should be happy!
Well I'm not happy, okay?
I got an A-minus.
Cassandra got an A-plus.
She's always
beating me in everything.
Just once, I'd like to
beat her in something.
Ahh, let it go, Sabrina.
Come on, there's
someone I want you to meet.
He'll cheer you up.
ARF!
Oh, Harvey, he's so cute!
What's his name?
I named him Bilbo.
Bil, for my dad,
Bill, and Bo, for my mom,
Bonnie.
It's kinda a unique
name, don't ya think?
My folks want me to enter
Bilbo in the Greendale Dog
Show, this weekend.
That's awesome, Harvey.
He's certainly smart enough.
Check this out.
Shake, Bilbo, shake!
Arf arf!! Woof!
This is one smart dog!
Now check this out.
Ugh.
Fetch the bone, Bilbo.
Arf!
Bilbo's got my vote
for Best of Show.
Maybe if I had more time...
I could teach him some
really awesome new tricks.
You have something
better than time, me.
I'll be your
personal dog trainer!
This is the smartest
dog I've ever seen.
We'll win first
prize for sure!
You're not using Bilbo in some
crazy revenge on Cassandra
thing, are you?
Not a chance!
Besides, Cassandra
doesn't even have a dog.
She is one.
Woof!
Okay, but I don't want to
get all crazy trying to win a
prize. We'll just
do it for fun.
Right.
We're just doing
it for the fun.
Arf!
And when we win, I'm going to
mail a thousand pictures of me
and the trophy to Cassandra.
Then we'll see who's better.
Mirror mirror on the shelf,
is there anyone finer than
myself?
Hey, wake up!
I asked you a question!
Well of course you are the
finest looking witch in all of
Greendale.
That's better.
Remember, stay focused on me,
and we'll get along just fine.
Then, I guess you don't wanna
hear the gossip on the magic
grapevine.
Gossip?
There's always
time for gossip.
Spill it.
Well your most gloriousness.
You'll never guess who's
entering the dog show this
weekend.
Your pal, Sabrina.
Give me a break!
Sabrina won't win.
Unless she's learned
to sit up and fetch!
Hahaha!
Don't count on it oh
mightiest of the mighty.
Every dog has its day.
And Sabrina's
entering Harvey's dog.
She might actually win.
Over my immortal body!
I'll show her!
Arghh!
You'll need a dog
to enter the show,
oh greatness.
Already taken care of.
It says here
you're entering Biblo,
the Wonder Dog?
That's right.
Bilbo the Wonder Dog!
Get ready to do
your award thing,
Ms. Magrooney, because this
is one contest I can't lose.
You gotta be kidding me!
Well, this is a surprise.
Sabrina, what are
you doing here?
Come Olympia, let's mingle
amongst the common folk.
Nice dog, Cassandra, that
you didn't have yesterday.
I've always had Olympia.
Olympia comes from a long long
line of dog show champions.
She's sure to win.
Bilbo here is smartest,
sweetest, dog.
And he's going to
win best of show.
How quaint.
Well, good luck.
You're going to need it.
Fun schmun, we're
here to win, right boy?
Harvey: Sabrina, you promised
this wouldn't be about
you and Cassandra.
Sabrina: It's not.
It's about how Bilbo is going
to beat Olympia paws down.
In you dreams.
Come Olympia, we
have a trophy to win.
There's no way
we can beat her.
Look, if all you want
to do is beat Cassandra,
then maybe you should've
entered your own dog.
But I don't have a dog.
And well, we already entered
Bilbo and he's looking forward
to learning new
tricks and having fun,
right boy?
Woof!
Come on, Harvey!
We owe it to Bilbo.
This little wonder dog is
going to have more fun than
any little wonder
dog has before.
Whether he likes it or not.
Okay, it's time for
some serious fun!
Fetching just isn't
fun enough to win.
We need to turn it up a notch.
We need to be more acrobatic.
Bilbo, jump on
Harvey's shoulder.
Come on boy, get in
there and have fun!
Ow!
Hahh..
Good boy!
Now Harvey, you stand.
Urrgh... whoa-whoaa!
Kew-all!
Doing great, Bilbo.
You rock, Harvey.
Now, slowly start
walking towards me.
Halt, Harvey.
Okay, Bilbo, now we're going
to try something a little,
uh, funner.
I want you to sit
on Harvey's head.
Ugh!
Hey, wait a minute!
Hush, Harvey!
Bilbo, up!
Yay Bilbo!
Now stand on your hind legs!
Owww!
Owwww!
Now look what
you've done, Harvey!
Me?!
You're the one that's making
life miserable for me and
Bilbo!
All I wanted to do
was have some fun
teaching him some new tricks.
I don't care about
beating Cassandra,
remember?
I wish I'd never entered
the show in the first place.
It's too late for that now!
We've entered, and now we're
going to beat Cassandra and
Olympia if it's the
last thing we do!
Not with my dog.
This could've been
fun, but you ruined it.
Bilbo and I are
firing you as the trainer.
You can't fire me!
I just did...
Sorry.
Sorry?
We'll see who's sorry!
What am I going to do?
Salem: About what?
About Cassandra!
She's going to win
big at the dog show.
Ptuu!
Dog show?
Who cares?
A cat show, now that would
be something worth winning!
All I know is that I had
a chance to actually beat
Cassandra at
something and now it's gone!
You know, you are a witch.
A little magic and Poof!
Harvey's little mutt
is the big winner!
I'm not Bilbo's
trainer any more.
Harvey fired me.
Hahh..
And I'll never find a
dog now, it's too late.
Why bother?
Dogs are smelly,
obnoxious, toilet-drinking,
boot-licking,
slovenly, good-for-nothings!
Unlike me.
Aahhhh!
Wha?
You are sooo right.
You're good
looking, intelligent,
creative...
Why, if you were a
dog, you'd be perfect.
You'd make that dumb
poodle look like a dumb bunny!
Oh, no.
Just get that
thought outta your head.
I'm not going near
that dog-filled contest.
Come on Salem, who's
going to be my best of show,
show dog?
I am not a dog!
No!
Nooooooooo!
That lovely scent of dog.
Well, here we go, may the best
dog win and all that nonsense.
Don't worry, boy, you're
going to do just fine.
Remember, we're
doing it to have fun!
Ar..arf!
I'm kinda nervous, too.
But can do this, together!
What a splendid display!
Something doesn't smell right
and it's not just the dogs.
There could be
magic in play here.
Oh I hope not, that
would be against the rules.
Remember, Bilbo, it's not
about winning or losing,
let's just have fun.
Just do your best.
Maybe I shouldn't
have fired Sabrina?
It wouldn't have mattered.
She knew she couldn't beat me.
No one can.
Honestly, I don't know why all
these losers even bothered to
show up.
Attention, contestants, we
have a last minute addition to
our roster.
A uh, mixed-breed entry, shown
by Miss Sabrina Spellman.
Here I come.
Best looking dog, this
place has ever seen.
Sorry I'm late.
But it's not easy to
find a champion...
like Zeus here.
Grrrr!
Cool it, Zeus!
Get in line act like a D-O-G.
I'm afraid I don't know
how to act like a simpleton.
All they do is drool,
and bark and- Yikes!
Watch it with the nose,
Pal, we're not that close!
HISSSSS!
Contestants!
Do try to control your dogs!
I'm expecting some major pay
back for this humiliation,
Sabrina.
You win this for me, and
you can name your price.
It's as good as in the bag!
Ladies and gentlemen!
We shall begin with the
freestyle competition.
First up,
Olympia and Cassandra.
Hello, I'm Cassandra.
Alright Olympia, let's
take their breaths away.
Arff!
Olympia would now like
to perform an alley-oop,
slamma-jamma.
Woof!
Hmmm.
You might as well
throw in the towel,
flea bag.
That trophy is all mine!
You're no dog!
You're Mephista!
Rabbits rule!
Dogs and cats drool!
Sabrina, Mayday!
Mayday!
We've got a big problem!
Shhhh! Salem! You'll
blow your cover!
Ya think that's bad?
I've got one for ya.
That basketball crazy poodle
is actually a magic rabbit
named Mephista!
Hahh!
What?!
Cassandra turned
him into a poodle!
Up to your old
tricks, ay Cassandra?
No more than you.
Say hi to your cat for me.
I forgot a prop.
Be right back!
The bunny's glory
all soon fades,
with the power of
these magic roller blades!
I'm ready to begin now.
We will continue with our
freestyle competition with
Bilbo, trained
by Harvey Kinkle.
Remember the rules: the
dog must perform its tricks
without any physical
help from its trainer.
Good boy, you can do it!
Now here you go!
Woof!
Well, that
certainly was special.
Next!
It's showtime!
Think you can
show me up, do you?
I wish I might, I wish I may,
hold catnip in my
hand this day.
We'll show 'em
some real flying.
Nooooo!
Aughh!
Woof!
Ptuu!
Huh?
Get off of me, you clown.
Whoops!
So sorry.
Scuzay.
Attention, contestants.
Please return to your places.
Yecch.
That concludes
our competition.
We'll take a short break
while the other judges and I
evaluate these-...
stellar performances.
Loser.
Cheater.
Mixed breed.
Inbred.
Scene hog.
Bad hair!
This is one trophy
you won't be winning,
Ms. Poor Sportsmanship.
You should talk.
Well, I have news for you: in
spite of all your interfering,
Mephista's performance was ten
times better than that alley
cat's!
Hey!
At least I don't live in a
hole in the ground like old
flop-ears here.
Forget it, Cassandra.
Salem showed the
world what a star he was.
May I have your attention?
The judges have
reached their decision.
There were a number
of fine contestants...
...but after
much deliberation,
we decided to go with the one
dog who consistently showed
good breeding
and intelligence.
Let's hear it for...
...Harvey and Bilbo!
Hahhh!
Hehehe.
Here you go, Harvey.
That little guy of
yours is quite a dog.
He's a credit to his breed.
Thank you, sir.
I didn't think
we had a chance.
We were just doing it for fun.
That's the best reason of all.
Ahem.
Girls, just a second please.
You two really
should know better.
Using magic to
cheat in a dog show?
It's a disgrace!
You should be ashamed!
You guys knew all along?
Aahhh!
Don't let my youthful
good looks fool you.
Eh, wasn't born yesterday.
Winning at any
price isn't winning.
It's more important to
simply do your honest best.
No, you're right.
I feel awful.
Well I don't.
I'm just glad I lost
to Harvey and not you!
Speaking of which, I think
I'll go congratulate Harvey on
his win.
Congratulations, Harvey!
Thanks, Sabrina.
You deserve it.
I got obsessed with winning,
and you and Bilbo just went
out and had fun.
Woof!!
Get lost, you mongrel!
Woof!
Hahaha!
You know, I've
always wanted a dog.
Would you mind--
Mind? Are you kidding?
The past few hours have been
the most humiliating of all my
nine lives!
All I gotta say
about that idea is,
woof, woof, woof!
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪What's going on here,
something's not right♪
♪Who's making magic now every
night♪
♪Witch Training lessons
till the mornin' light♪
♪Living Sabrina's Secret Life.
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
♪Witch training lessons now
every night♪
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
Mrs. Magrooney: Tiffany...
Margaux...
Harvey..
Sabrina...
Good story, with a
great twist at the end.
I enjoyed it.
Cool!
Check it out! I got an A-minus!
Way to go Bree!
Excellent work, Cassandra.
A-plus, as usual.
No use trying to
catch up with me,
you'll always be a
minus sign in my book.
Grrr!
Earth to Sabrina!
School's out!
Don't bother me
with details, Harvey!
I'm having one of those
"why-is-Cassandra-always-better
than-me" moments.
You wrote a great story.
Ms. Magrooney said so herself.
You should be happy!
Well I'm not happy, okay?
I got an A-minus.
Cassandra got an A-plus.
She's always
beating me in everything.
Just once, I'd like to
beat her in something.
Ahh, let it go, Sabrina.
Come on, there's
someone I want you to meet.
He'll cheer you up.
ARF!
Oh, Harvey, he's so cute!
What's his name?
I named him Bilbo.
Bil, for my dad,
Bill, and Bo, for my mom,
Bonnie.
It's kinda a unique
name, don't ya think?
My folks want me to enter
Bilbo in the Greendale Dog
Show, this weekend.
That's awesome, Harvey.
He's certainly smart enough.
Check this out.
Shake, Bilbo, shake!
Arf arf!! Woof!
This is one smart dog!
Now check this out.
Ugh.
Fetch the bone, Bilbo.
Arf!
Bilbo's got my vote
for Best of Show.
Maybe if I had more time...
I could teach him some
really awesome new tricks.
You have something
better than time, me.
I'll be your
personal dog trainer!
This is the smartest
dog I've ever seen.
We'll win first
prize for sure!
You're not using Bilbo in some
crazy revenge on Cassandra
thing, are you?
Not a chance!
Besides, Cassandra
doesn't even have a dog.
She is one.
Woof!
Okay, but I don't want to
get all crazy trying to win a
prize. We'll just
do it for fun.
Right.
We're just doing
it for the fun.
Arf!
And when we win, I'm going to
mail a thousand pictures of me
and the trophy to Cassandra.
Then we'll see who's better.
Mirror mirror on the shelf,
is there anyone finer than
myself?
Hey, wake up!
I asked you a question!
Well of course you are the
finest looking witch in all of
Greendale.
That's better.
Remember, stay focused on me,
and we'll get along just fine.
Then, I guess you don't wanna
hear the gossip on the magic
grapevine.
Gossip?
There's always
time for gossip.
Spill it.
Well your most gloriousness.
You'll never guess who's
entering the dog show this
weekend.
Your pal, Sabrina.
Give me a break!
Sabrina won't win.
Unless she's learned
to sit up and fetch!
Hahaha!
Don't count on it oh
mightiest of the mighty.
Every dog has its day.
And Sabrina's
entering Harvey's dog.
She might actually win.
Over my immortal body!
I'll show her!
Arghh!
You'll need a dog
to enter the show,
oh greatness.
Already taken care of.
It says here
you're entering Biblo,
the Wonder Dog?
That's right.
Bilbo the Wonder Dog!
Get ready to do
your award thing,
Ms. Magrooney, because this
is one contest I can't lose.
You gotta be kidding me!
Well, this is a surprise.
Sabrina, what are
you doing here?
Come Olympia, let's mingle
amongst the common folk.
Nice dog, Cassandra, that
you didn't have yesterday.
I've always had Olympia.
Olympia comes from a long long
line of dog show champions.
She's sure to win.
Bilbo here is smartest,
sweetest, dog.
And he's going to
win best of show.
How quaint.
Well, good luck.
You're going to need it.
Fun schmun, we're
here to win, right boy?
Harvey: Sabrina, you promised
this wouldn't be about
you and Cassandra.
Sabrina: It's not.
It's about how Bilbo is going
to beat Olympia paws down.
In you dreams.
Come Olympia, we
have a trophy to win.
There's no way
we can beat her.
Look, if all you want
to do is beat Cassandra,
then maybe you should've
entered your own dog.
But I don't have a dog.
And well, we already entered
Bilbo and he's looking forward
to learning new
tricks and having fun,
right boy?
Woof!
Come on, Harvey!
We owe it to Bilbo.
This little wonder dog is
going to have more fun than
any little wonder
dog has before.
Whether he likes it or not.
Okay, it's time for
some serious fun!
Fetching just isn't
fun enough to win.
We need to turn it up a notch.
We need to be more acrobatic.
Bilbo, jump on
Harvey's shoulder.
Come on boy, get in
there and have fun!
Ow!
Hahh..
Good boy!
Now Harvey, you stand.
Urrgh... whoa-whoaa!
Kew-all!
Doing great, Bilbo.
You rock, Harvey.
Now, slowly start
walking towards me.
Halt, Harvey.
Okay, Bilbo, now we're going
to try something a little,
uh, funner.
I want you to sit
on Harvey's head.
Ugh!
Hey, wait a minute!
Hush, Harvey!
Bilbo, up!
Yay Bilbo!
Now stand on your hind legs!
Owww!
Owwww!
Now look what
you've done, Harvey!
Me?!
You're the one that's making
life miserable for me and
Bilbo!
All I wanted to do
was have some fun
teaching him some new tricks.
I don't care about
beating Cassandra,
remember?
I wish I'd never entered
the show in the first place.
It's too late for that now!
We've entered, and now we're
going to beat Cassandra and
Olympia if it's the
last thing we do!
Not with my dog.
This could've been
fun, but you ruined it.
Bilbo and I are
firing you as the trainer.
You can't fire me!
I just did...
Sorry.
Sorry?
We'll see who's sorry!
What am I going to do?
Salem: About what?
About Cassandra!
She's going to win
big at the dog show.
Ptuu!
Dog show?
Who cares?
A cat show, now that would
be something worth winning!
All I know is that I had
a chance to actually beat
Cassandra at
something and now it's gone!
You know, you are a witch.
A little magic and Poof!
Harvey's little mutt
is the big winner!
I'm not Bilbo's
trainer any more.
Harvey fired me.
Hahh..
And I'll never find a
dog now, it's too late.
Why bother?
Dogs are smelly,
obnoxious, toilet-drinking,
boot-licking,
slovenly, good-for-nothings!
Unlike me.
Aahhhh!
Wha?
You are sooo right.
You're good
looking, intelligent,
creative...
Why, if you were a
dog, you'd be perfect.
You'd make that dumb
poodle look like a dumb bunny!
Oh, no.
Just get that
thought outta your head.
I'm not going near
that dog-filled contest.
Come on Salem, who's
going to be my best of show,
show dog?
I am not a dog!
No!
Nooooooooo!
That lovely scent of dog.
Well, here we go, may the best
dog win and all that nonsense.
Don't worry, boy, you're
going to do just fine.
Remember, we're
doing it to have fun!
Ar..arf!
I'm kinda nervous, too.
But can do this, together!
What a splendid display!
Something doesn't smell right
and it's not just the dogs.
There could be
magic in play here.
Oh I hope not, that
would be against the rules.
Remember, Bilbo, it's not
about winning or losing,
let's just have fun.
Just do your best.
Maybe I shouldn't
have fired Sabrina?
It wouldn't have mattered.
She knew she couldn't beat me.
No one can.
Honestly, I don't know why all
these losers even bothered to
show up.
Attention, contestants, we
have a last minute addition to
our roster.
A uh, mixed-breed entry, shown
by Miss Sabrina Spellman.
Here I come.
Best looking dog, this
place has ever seen.
Sorry I'm late.
But it's not easy to
find a champion...
like Zeus here.
Grrrr!
Cool it, Zeus!
Get in line act like a D-O-G.
I'm afraid I don't know
how to act like a simpleton.
All they do is drool,
and bark and- Yikes!
Watch it with the nose,
Pal, we're not that close!
HISSSSS!
Contestants!
Do try to control your dogs!
I'm expecting some major pay
back for this humiliation,
Sabrina.
You win this for me, and
you can name your price.
It's as good as in the bag!
Ladies and gentlemen!
We shall begin with the
freestyle competition.
First up,
Olympia and Cassandra.
Hello, I'm Cassandra.
Alright Olympia, let's
take their breaths away.
Arff!
Olympia would now like
to perform an alley-oop,
slamma-jamma.
Woof!
Hmmm.
You might as well
throw in the towel,
flea bag.
That trophy is all mine!
You're no dog!
You're Mephista!
Rabbits rule!
Dogs and cats drool!
Sabrina, Mayday!
Mayday!
We've got a big problem!
Shhhh! Salem! You'll
blow your cover!
Ya think that's bad?
I've got one for ya.
That basketball crazy poodle
is actually a magic rabbit
named Mephista!
Hahh!
What?!
Cassandra turned
him into a poodle!
Up to your old
tricks, ay Cassandra?
No more than you.
Say hi to your cat for me.
I forgot a prop.
Be right back!
The bunny's glory
all soon fades,
with the power of
these magic roller blades!
I'm ready to begin now.
We will continue with our
freestyle competition with
Bilbo, trained
by Harvey Kinkle.
Remember the rules: the
dog must perform its tricks
without any physical
help from its trainer.
Good boy, you can do it!
Now here you go!
Woof!
Well, that
certainly was special.
Next!
It's showtime!
Think you can
show me up, do you?
I wish I might, I wish I may,
hold catnip in my
hand this day.
We'll show 'em
some real flying.
Nooooo!
Aughh!
Woof!
Ptuu!
Huh?
Get off of me, you clown.
Whoops!
So sorry.
Scuzay.
Attention, contestants.
Please return to your places.
Yecch.
That concludes
our competition.
We'll take a short break
while the other judges and I
evaluate these-...
stellar performances.
Loser.
Cheater.
Mixed breed.
Inbred.
Scene hog.
Bad hair!
This is one trophy
you won't be winning,
Ms. Poor Sportsmanship.
You should talk.
Well, I have news for you: in
spite of all your interfering,
Mephista's performance was ten
times better than that alley
cat's!
Hey!
At least I don't live in a
hole in the ground like old
flop-ears here.
Forget it, Cassandra.
Salem showed the
world what a star he was.
May I have your attention?
The judges have
reached their decision.
There were a number
of fine contestants...
...but after
much deliberation,
we decided to go with the one
dog who consistently showed
good breeding
and intelligence.
Let's hear it for...
...Harvey and Bilbo!
Hahhh!
Hehehe.
Here you go, Harvey.
That little guy of
yours is quite a dog.
He's a credit to his breed.
Thank you, sir.
I didn't think
we had a chance.
We were just doing it for fun.
That's the best reason of all.
Ahem.
Girls, just a second please.
You two really
should know better.
Using magic to
cheat in a dog show?
It's a disgrace!
You should be ashamed!
You guys knew all along?
Aahhh!
Don't let my youthful
good looks fool you.
Eh, wasn't born yesterday.
Winning at any
price isn't winning.
It's more important to
simply do your honest best.
No, you're right.
I feel awful.
Well I don't.
I'm just glad I lost
to Harvey and not you!
Speaking of which, I think
I'll go congratulate Harvey on
his win.
Congratulations, Harvey!
Thanks, Sabrina.
You deserve it.
I got obsessed with winning,
and you and Bilbo just went
out and had fun.
Woof!!
Get lost, you mongrel!
Woof!
Hahaha!
You know, I've
always wanted a dog.
Would you mind--
Mind? Are you kidding?
The past few hours have been
the most humiliating of all my
nine lives!
All I gotta say
about that idea is,
woof, woof, woof!