Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 41 - Driver Ed - full transcript

[PURRING]

♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪

♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪

♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪

♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪

♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪

♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪

♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪

♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪



♪ GET HAPPY ♪

♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

HA HA!

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT

♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪



YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Y'know, Uncle Quigley, I think
I'm really getting the hang of

driving!

YAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Hey!~ Aaaaaaa!

Whaaaa!

I'm serious, you're a
terrific driving teacher!

I mean, a lotta people
would be scared to teach me.

YAAAAAAA-aaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Now, don't you worry.

I'll find that highway again.

It's gotta be
around here somewhere.

LOOK OUT FOR THE SAND TR--!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Relax!

I see the highway!

It's right
through those trees!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

YAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Fore!

Hilll-DAA...!

Does that count
as a water trap,

or a hole in one?

Ptui!

The Movieplex..
the Shoe Store..

Wowee World..

the Soda Shack..

Planning your honeymoon?

Wrong.

I'm listing all the places
Hilda can take me when she

gets her driver's license.

Hmmm..

You left out a few:
Through a brick wall..

Over a cliff.. Into a bus..

C'mon, she's not that bad.

And most important of all -
she promised to drive Harvey

and me to the Flying Finger
Daddies concert next week.

Why not ask Quigley
or Zelda to drive?

Same ride, less upchucking.

As if. Zelda won't drive me

anywhere since that
revolving door incident.

And it's way uncool to
have Quigley take me to the

concert, which is like THE
coolest event of the year.

So Aunt Hilda's GOTTA
come through for me.

[tires screech, crash]
Huh?

Or, I might have to
make other arrangements.

Quigley:
That is IT! I'm THROUGH!

I refuse to get back
into a car with you!

B-But Uncle Quig..

my driver's license
test is next week!

Who's gonna teach me?!

Anyone but me!

Go ask Zelda!

No way. I still remember her
broomstick-riding test.

Ever seen a
four-witch pile-up?

Then go find someone else!

Because I qui-- Yiiiii!

Are you okay?!

This is all my own fault!

I should never even have
STARTED giving you

driving lessons!

What a fiasco.

Now I'm never
gonna get my license.

No, don't say that!

You've got to
get your license!

How else am I- I
mean, are you,

gonna get around?

Maybe you could
find a Driving School.

Get real.

I've already been kicked out
of every driving school in

town. Quigley was
the last stop.

Face it, Hilda.

Some witches just
weren't meant to drive.

It's not the end of the world.

Yeah.

Maybe you're right.

Well, you and Harvey could
always take the bus

to the concert. There's
nothing that spells

"romance" like gum
on your seat.

No way.

We need to find Hilda
another driving teacher,

and FAST.

Hey, don't look at me.

I'm the one who taught
her how to drive a chariot.

I still can't look at a
horse's rear end without

twitching.

Well, there must be
somebody who- Hey,

I've GOT it!

All we need is a really
handsome driving teacher Hilda

will WANT to
take lessons from.

Yeah, but he's gotta be
brave enough to teach her.

And that creature does
not exist in nature.

Right!

So we'll use
magic to create him!

All we need is a spell
cookie from the Spookie Jar.

"For a teacher of
driver education,

A dog's required
for transformation,

He'll stick around just like
molasses Until the driving

test she passes."

Great, let's go!

I'M NOT FINISHED HERE.

Oh. Sorry.

Har-rumph.

"But WOE to you if
skies turn orange,

For then you'll
find yourself in..

in.. uh.. er.. porange?"

Just give me a
second. Let's see..

rhymes with orange..

"Borange?"

"Corange?"

"Dorange?"..

"Forange?"

Well?

I CAN'T WORK
UNDER THIS PRESSURE!!

Well, now we need to find
a dog and crack the spell

cookie over him.

Hmmmm..

OH no..

OHHH no..

I REALLY HATE THIS!

Which is the
best looking one?!!

The one with my
tail in his mouth!!

NOW CRACK THE COOKIE!!!

Here, doggies, doggies!

Whoa!

(whimpering)

Here, doggies, doggies!

Hmm, let's see.. this
one's kinda cute.

Nah, maybe him..or how 'bout..

Salem:
SABRIIIINA!

Oh!

CRACK THE COOKIE!

(whine)

(Gasp)

Wow!

What a beautiful day
for a driving lesson.

Salem, he's PERFECT!

Perfect!?

A second ago, he had his
mouth set for Salem sushi!

Are you sure the
transformation is complete?

Absolutely.

Yeah?

Then what's he doing
by that fire hydrant?

(gasp)

(exhausted sigh)

[doorbell rings]
Coming!

Hi! I'm Driver Ed.

Someone here looking
for a driving instructor?

Uh, could you excuse me
for just a moment, Ed?

Actually, I could use
a driving instructor.

Well, I'm just the
man you're looking for.

I was just
thinking the same thing.

Grrr!

(Gasp)

Well, grrr yourself.

Gee, I wasn't sure Uncle Quig
was even going to let us use

his car, but you
sure convinced him.

Please, Hilda, you must always
remember to keep your eyes on

the road.

But it's so hard, 'cause you
have SUCH cute puppy dog eyes.

And a cold nose.

Hey, Hilda's doing great!

She'll pass her
driving test easy,

and I'll have a
permanent chauffeur!

And won't she be thrilled
- a chance to drive real

teenagers around. It's the
gift that keeps on giving.

Face it, Salem.

This spell was a
stroke of genius.

Oh, Ed.. I never knew

what driving could be
till I drove with you.

Zelda:
Hilda, is that you?!

I'm in the
kitchen, baking some..

Zelda, this is Ed, my
new driving instructor.

WHOA!

Um, er..

could you excuse me
for just a moment?

Now, where were we?

Oh, right. Pleased
to meet you, Ed.

My pleasure.

What is that delightful smell?

Oh, I've been baking cookies.

Would you like some? Follow me.

Mmmm, these are
delicious, Zelda.

Gee, thanks, Ed.

Like me to whip up some more?

That won't be
necessary, Zelda.

I'VE made Ed a
roast beef sandwich.

Hope you like it rare.

Tasty.

Grrrrrr...

Hey, save room for
my pot roast, Ed.

Mmmm!!!

Zelda, let's talk.

Mmmm!!!

I know what
you're trying to do!

You just keep away from him!

He's my driving instructor.

Oh really.

Well, I think he likes me.

And I think
you're just JEALOUS!

Hilda:
ME, jealous?!

Zelda: That's right!
You! And if he -

Ed:
Boy, that's the
best meal I ever had!

Sorry, Zelda - but it's
time for another one of MY

driving lessons! Come on, Ed.

Grrrrrr!

(panting)

(howling)

Did I do something wrong, Ed?

Nope. You're doing fine.

Uh oh. I blew a tire.

No problem.

Now I can teach you
how to change a flat.

Need some help
with that tire, Ed?

Zelda!

Grrrrr!

Whew!

Grrrrr!

Ah...Oh!

Huh?

Huh?

Ahhh!

Hey...ohhhh!

All right, that's IT!

I warned you, Zelda.

From now on, you stay on YOUR
side of the line and I'll stay

on MINE!

Fine with me!

What line?

YAAAAAAH!!!

Ah!

Oh!

And STAY on your side!!

My pleasure!!

Just a little sibling
rivalry, huh?

Ah!

Mornin', Salem.

YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

SAAAA-LEM!!!

(Gasp)

Gotta watch that first step.

Whew! Thanks for the reminder.

This is ridiculous.

It's all Driver Ed's fault.

Much as I like to
blame dogs for everything,

may I remind you that
you created Driver Ed.

Oh, all right, all right..

but now I don't care if
ANYONE learns to drive.

I just want my Aunts AND
my house back to normal.

Hmmm...I'm just going to
have to get rid of him.

Forget it.

You heard what the
Spookie Jar said-

What? That he needed more time
to rhyme 'skies of orange?'

No, that Ed won't go until
Hilda passes her driving test.

'Course, you could always
TELL Hilda and Zelda that you

cooked up Ed.

That is NOT an option.

They might do to me what
they did to the house.

There must be some way.

B-But it's silly!

I mean, I can't believe you
two have broken up over a..a..

A guy?

We're teenagers, Sabrina.

And you might remind my
sister that I saw him first.

Sabrina, tell my
sister that Ed loves ME.

SHE'S just another
driving student.

The minute she passes
her driving test tomorrow,

Ed will be out of
her life forever.

Well, who says I'm EVER
gonna pass my driving test?

It so happens I
called yesterday

and CANCELLED it.

What?!?!

Well, why not?

I'm having way too much
fun to end things so soon.

In fact I may
just have to take

driving lessons
from Ed forever.

Well, gotta run.

Eddie-poo's coming to
pick me up any minute.

Wouldn't want to be late.

B-But Hilda..!

Grrrr..

Please, Aunt Hilda.

You've just gotta
take that driving test!

And give up spending
time with my Eddie-weddums?

No way.

Well, I'll just have to make
sure Hilda takes that test -

and passes with flying colors.

Yes, operator, could you
get me the number of the

Department of Motor
Vehicles, please?

Thank you.

Hello, D.M.V.?

This is HILDA Spellman.

I called yesterday to
cancel my driving test?

Well, now I want
to UN-cancel it.

I can take the test
any time you want.

Today at noon?

That'll be fine.

And now a little
magic makeover...

Perfect.

I look just like Hilda.

Well, there's Ed.

Bye, Salem.

Bye, Hilda.

Morning, Hilda.

Ready to practice?

Nope.

I've decided to move
my driving test up.

I'm ready to
take it right now.

Well, good for you!

Then let's go!

Well, that was Ed's horn.

Bye, Salem.

Bye, Hilda.

Huh?

Well, she
wouldn't listen to me.

Any ideas how we can get
Hilda and Zelda back together?

I think they've already
taken the first step.

I saw Hilda on
Zelda's side of the house.

Really? That's great!

Maybe that means
they're talking again.

I don't get it.

Ed's not usually late
for a driving lesson.

He should have
been here by-eeep!

Oh, Aunt Hilda, I'm so glad
you decided to go over there

and talk to Zelda!

But how could you miss Ed?

He honked and you went
out there.. twice.

What are you
both talking about?

Ed's not out there..and
I haven't set foot on

Zelda's side.

So maybe I WASN'T
seeing double..?

DOUBLE!!!

Uh oh.

"Today at Noon,
Motor Vehicle.."

Zelda rescheduled
my driving test!

She's impersonating ME!

Oooo, that sneaky...

Well, I am NOT passing that
test and she can't make me!

Zelda's going to
regret this - big time!

Well, looks like the
spooksters' still working on

his skies of orange rhyme.

He. He.

Good luck on your test, Hilda!

I'll do my best, Eddie-poo!

Whenever YOU'RE
ready, Miss Spellman,

you can pull out.

Nicely done.

Next, let's try a
three-point U-turn,

shall we?

Excellent.

Remember to always turn
and look when you back up.

Don't trust the
rear-view mirror.

For instance, in this mirror
it looks like there's somebody

behind us on a flying vacuum.

Better let her pass.

HUH?!?!

I don't think
that's a good idea.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

COME BACK HERE, ZELDA!!

YOU'RE NOT PASSING THAT TEST!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

M-Miss Spellman!

What's going on?!

What are you doing?!

Taking evasive action?

It's, uh, part of
defensive driving.

YAAAAAAAH!!!

Hilda! Calm down!

YAAAAAAAH!!!

Aaaahhh!

Nooo, Miss Spellman!!!

Keep your hands on
the wheel at all times!

Stop!

There's a Tyrannosaurus
in the crosswalk!

Aaaaa!

A TYRANNOSAURUS?!

Thanks, I see it.

How about another U-turn?

Huh?

That oughta flunk
her AND dunk her!

WHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

How many points do
I get if I make it?

NO!!! Lemme outta here!

I'm going swimming!

YIIIIII!!!!

HAAAALLLLP!!!!

WHOOOOOAAA!!!!

Oh no, she won't
lose me THAT easily!

Hilda, stop!

YHAAAAA!!

Don't worry, I've gotcha!

How many points do I
get for aerial rescue?

Whoaaa!!! Ahhhhh!!!!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Salem, we've
gotta do something!

What do you mean, WE?

WHAAAAAA!!

Excuse me, but have
you ever driven before?

No, but I'm a fast learner.

What does "D" mean?

Wha!

DUCK!!!!!

As you can see, sales should
be going through the roof.

Aahhhhhhhh!!

..Tell me more about
your hallucinations..

(Gasp) AAAAAAAAA!!!!

Huh?

Whaaaaa!!!!!

Hey, whose test
IS this anyway?

Certainly not YOURS!

Eh...Vacuum is
cleared for runway three.

Vacuum?!

Whoa!!

Nice try, Zelda,
but I see you!

Huh?

Zelda, stop that!

You too, Hilda!

SHE started it!

Did not, you
jealous shape-shifter!

Flying cars!

Talking cats!

Shapeshifters!

I'm losing my mind!

Hey, look! We're home!

Home?!!

Ahhhhhh!!!!!

Look!

I got you back to the
Motor Vehicle department!

Great! Now stop this thing!

ME?

Whaaaa!!

Huh?

Why a marshmallow?

It was either
that or a s'more.

Well, how'd it go, Hilda?

THAT'S not me!

It's Zelda!

Here! For both of
you, WHOEVER you are!

Here's a license
for everybody!

Including the cat!

Now just LEAVE ME ALONE!

Gee, looks like you passed
your test after all, Hilda.

Quigley:
I don't think so.

You're certainly not driving
MY car until you REALLY learn.

How could you possibly have
thought she was ready to take

her driving test?!

Uh, it really
wasn't Ed's fault,

Uncle Quigley.

It was ours.

I'm sorry, Uncle Quigley.

And can you ever
forgive me, Hilda?

Sure.

No man is worth
losing our tempers over.

Well, except maybe THIS one.

Get real, Zelda.

You may have passed MY test,
but it's obvious Ed likes ME

best.

Are you serious?

He likes ME...

Actually I think
you're BOTH awfully nice.

Oh, Edddd!

And as soon as
YOU turn sixteen,

Sabrina, I'd like to teach
YOU how to drive - that is,

if you'll conjure me up again.

Yecch!

CONJURE?

What did he mean, CONJURE?

Sabrina, you have
some explaining to do.

GRRRR!

Oh!

Excuse me, but I have some
terrified running to do.

Oh...Wait...I have tender fur!

Wait! I've got it!

When a door falls off,
it probably means a poor

hinge..get it?

'Poor hinge'
rhymes with orange!

Hello?

Is anybody there?

Hmph!

NO ONE appreciates
what I go through!

(laughter)

(laughter)

(laughter)

Freaks!

Girl: Savage, we love you.