Sabri Maranan (2011–…): Season 4, Episode 3 - The inheritance - full transcript

Honey, tell me you paid
the debt that was owed to the dentist.

Should I tell you
or is it a question,

did you pay the debt that was owed?
-Oh no.

Right.

You didn't the pay the debt.

What made you think of the dentist now?

I'm seeing the dental hygienist on Sunday.
Why didn't you pay it?

I was going to,
but then the extra cash I had in the bank

I invested in a villa
on a lake in Florida.

It's not funny, pay the debt,

I feel bad already.
-Alright, I got it.



You got it? When?

Sometime.
-When will sometime come?

When we have money.
-Will we?

Honey, I'm exactly the opposite

of that guy from "Comedy Store",

"got it, got it, got it."

So you're,
don't got it, don't got it?

What's that?
-The opposite of...

You've officially lost it.

Rachel, that was delicious.

Are you sure there was no oil
in the green beans?

Hardly any.

"Hardly?"

Relax.



I still think you lost
too much weight.

You have a lot of skin.

Did we eat a lot or what?
-I'm stuffed too.

I stuffed myself too.

Tomorrow I diet.

Who cares who ate what and how much,

as long as we enjoyed it,
am I right?

Sweetie, shall we go?

Wait, what's the rush?

Sit, relax,
have coffee, cake.

I hope this system of yours
leaves room for some cake,

for some treat once a week.

Well, my points do allow me to have
cake on Friday night.

A cake that I made?

But that's if I didn't eat carbs before

and man, did I eat,

and the oil that...

Let's quit while we're ahead.

It's been a quiet Friday night
for the Hassons,

no arguments, no insults,
no one got offended,

quiet, relaxed, let's go.

She convinced me, let's go.

But what will we do with Merav's cake?

Aaron can eat it.

Why not take a piece of cake home?

Not us, thanks.
-That's a no for us too.

Us too.
-Thanks.

Hello.

Yes, this is she.

Yes, I can talk.

Who is it? -Hold on.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, who is it?

Shutty.

No, I didn't mean you,
it's an expression,

haven't you seen Seinfeld?

What's shutty.

Shutty is shut up.

So shut up then,

what don't you get?

I didn't get it at first either...

But I want to know who it is.
I'm curious.

Being curious isn't good.
-I know,

curiosity killed the cat,
but I'm not a cat.

Good thing too,
because if a cat has nine lives,

you must have 81
because of your size.

Just a second.

What? Can't you wait?

Are you a baby?

Just tell me who it is.

It's a lawyer from Russia.

Okay? Can I talk now?

Yes, that's all I wanted to know.
Thank you.

Exactly.

Wait, a lawyer for what?

It's about the inheritance.

Remember my uncle,
the Russian health minister who died?

Of course,
it happened here in the bathroom,

this is where he passed.

So the lawyer
wants to give us our inheritance,

three million.
-Three million?

Hello?

I have to talk now.

Yes, do, pazhalsta,

I won't bother you anymore.

He was a sweet uncle,
I really loved him.

As soon as we met
we had a special bond.

Merav,

can I talk in your room?
-Sure,

it's over there, shall I show you?
-No, no.

Yes, you said three million?

Meni, the pink shirt's so nice on you.

Thank you.

Come, sit.

What did you hear?
-Nothing.

"Nothing?" Didn't you hear
them talking about an inheritance?

Vaguely,

something about her uncle,
the Russian health minister,

an inheritance,

the health minister who died,
may God avenge his blood.

I didn't hear the amount exactly.

I heard with half a lazy ear

something about three million.

That's what I heard too,
three million!

Alright.

They mustn't think we need anything.
-Right.

They mustn't think.
-Right.

We need nothing,
we have everything we need, thank God.

Exactly.
We need nothing.

But if he'll want to give something,

pamper us with a sum,
we won't stop him, right?

No, of course not.
-Right.

So he doesn't get offended. -Right.

Do you think
he won't want to give?

No way, he's our son.

We're his parents.

We invested in him,
we nurtured him,

we raised him,

to grow. -Right.

And he grew very nicely, thank God.

Above and beyond.

Look, if he won't give,
that will be a disgrace.

An outrage.

Right.

How lucky are they, huh?

In today's reality

only an inheritance can save people
from financial doom.

And from a distant uncle,

none of those emotions involved
in inheritances.

Don't you find inheritances disgusting?

Disgusting? Why?
-Disgusting.

The person just died

and everyone's partying with the money
he worked for all his life.

Disgusting, okay,
but they get things squared away.

A propos squared away,

you think Meni could square away

that debt to the dentist?

No, don't start.

Shani. -No...
-Shani.

Shai, no.

But when I think about it,

our 27,000, what's that
compared to three million?

Exactly.

You'll have to talk to him

and explain that...

No, he should know on his own

that his sister needs help.

But you'll have to drop a hint

that we have debts.

No, I'm not dropping a hint

and if he doesn't understand
that his sister needs help

it's his problem.
-And ours.

His more, because I won't accept
an insensitive brother

who got tons of cash
and can't give some to his sister.

He should know on his own
that I need help.

Honey, calm down.

What's with you?

I'm going to calm down.

Hello, Itamar, what's up?

Hey, Shai.

Remember it's Mom's birthday this week?

I just wanted to make sure

we're not getting her anything

because Liri is on my case.

Itamarmalade,
Mom's birthday was two days ago.

No. -Yes.

I'd love to keep talking to you

but the Hassons, you know...

How are things over there?

We're discussing a surprise inheritance
that Meni got, Shani's brother.

An inheritance? -Yeah.

Three million in one phone call.

Is there any way he can toss a bone

to the brother of his wife's husband
or do I have to talk to him myself?

Oh no.

Tell me,

what do you say?
-About what? -The inheritance.

What can I say?

Too bad we didn't know the uncle better.

You don't think it helps
that we were present

at a significant moment in his life

when he died?

Oh, please.

I just hope that Meni
will be more sensitive

because if we got an inheritance
of three million

I would give him a nice sum.
-Of course.

How much would you say is a nice sum?

I don't know,

maybe... 200.
-200,000? -He's family.

But 200? -150?

100's enough.

So if he gives us less than 100,

that wouldn't be right?

Honestly?

Let's compromise on 50.

Meni, can we ask you something?
-Sure, what is it?

We won't be like all the others

and pretend we didn't hear

and we want to say
we have a problem.

About our wedding,

the expenses are higher
than we planned.

So we thought,
now that you got an inheritance...

And some inheritance at that.
-Hang on,

we didn't get it yet,
let's hope it works out.

God willing.

Maybe you can help us with some cash.

A smallish sum
to help us pay for the wedding.

Smallish? No problem.

No, smallish, not small,

smallish is average plus,
smallish, not small.

Hold on,
as much as I'd like to,

any average sum and over,
i.e., smallish

must be discussed with Aline.

It's her uncle after all.

She's in my room.
You can ask her,

she asked if she could
and I said yes right away.

And remember, Meni,

giving is fun.

Giving is getting.

Right. -Right.

I'll ask Aline.

Tell me, what's smallish these days
in shekels?

As much as possible.

Yes, yes.

We lived on
245 Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin St.

Zip code 0022384.

Do you think he'll give anything?

I know that Meni has a good heart.

You asked already, huh?

You have no heart,

you didn't even wait
for the phone call to get cold.

Yes, but we haven't settled on a sum.

For your wedding
they'll give a handsome sum.

I hope he'll get things squared
away for us too.

I think it's best
not to expect anything.

Right.
Even though we're parents

and we're top priority,
we expect nothing.

But if they give you something,
will you turn it down?

No. -No, no.

No, no.
-No, no, no.

No.

We don't expect anything either.

But anyone who got an inheritance

would give each sibling a little something.

Right, a small sum, as a grant.
-Yes. -Yes.

Something like 27,000.

How did you come up with 27,000?

I just tossed it out there...

it's nothing for him,
just enough for a cavity.

Just remember
that 30,000 is one percent.

Okay, enough with the bingo.

Come on, let's all go home

and that's it.

Yes.
-Let's go.

Okay, then. -Bye then.
-Bye. -Bye. -Bye.

Well, if you're not leaving,

how about a bite of Merav's cake?

There's a lot,
I ate too much.

Didn't you like it, honey?

Didn't I like it?
I ate so much,

I just don't want...
we're getting married,

I want to fit in my suit, honey.

Okay, sweetie.

After the wedding
I'll bake you tons of cakes.

Please stay.

We'll stay.
-Alright, we'll stay.

Of course we'll stay.
-Thanks. -Alright.

We're here.
-Thank you.

Yes, my grandfather also lived
on Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin St.,

but 247,
zip code 223086.

Hey, Meni.
-Hey, Shai.

Look, it's not that I,

you know...

but how's it going with the inheritance?

I'm happy you're not, you know,
because Aline's still on the phone,

but I believe we'll be fine.

I do too.

For you at least.

What, aren't you guys fine?

We're fine.

It's just...

the financial stress
is getting to me and Shani,

but we're fine.

It's just...

We're in the hole with the dentist

and root canal won't fix it.

Bummer.
-Yes.

How much are you talking?
-A tiny sum.

With that inheritance you got,

you won't even feel it,
it's less than one percent, 27,000.

27,000.
-Less than one percent.

Before I say yes or no

I have to ask Aline.

Of course you do.

But I gather you're leaning towards yes?

Of course.

That's what I wanted to know.

Now you only have to ask Aline?

Basically, yes.

Good.

I'm glad we discussed this,

it's out in the open,
so you don't think I'm...

Of course, of course.

Meni. Psst...

I'm coming.
What's with the "psst" like I'm a cat?

Get over here.

What now?

If Meni gives us money
for the wedding,

maybe we should save
some of the declared amount

for an extra indulgent honeymoon?

We said we'll honeymoon
if we get enough money as a wedding gift.

We're saving Meni's money
for an apartment.

But now we can do both.

Meni will pay the expenses

and we can honeymoon
wherever we want.

No less than a trip
coast to coast in Europe.

Babe, if we spend all the money
on a honeymoon,

we'll live on the beach.

But he has three million.

You know what that means?

Merav, you said that
it makes no difference where we go

and what we do,

as long as we're together, right?

I didn't say that, Aaron,

Gabi Shoshan did,
and I'm not sure he was right.

Why?
-Because it matters where we go,

he went belly-up.

Did you talk to him?

What did he say?

Yes, but I may have insinuated
that because of the debt to the dentist

we've been arguing a lot.

What for?

Why tell people that we're arguing?

Some things are meant
to remain between us.

I don't need anyone's pity
because of 27,000 shekels.

So what did he say?

Basically, yes,
he just has to ask Aline.

Good. -Good.

And my request was modest,
I hope he'll give more.

More? -Yes.

It's less than one percent.
-Oh, stop it.

On another matter,

I think that...

I may have kind of told Itamar.

What's he got to do with it?

He called and I unwittingly
told him about Meni's inheritance.

Have you no shame?

You're tossing my brother's money around?

Tossing around?

My brother just asked.
Your brother has the right to refuse.

But you're putting my brother
in an awkward position.

Why awkward?

Getting three million is not awkward at all.

Excuse me, Mister,

if your family got an inheritance

we wouldn't know about it,

you'd be all hush hush about it.

Right, it's the smart thing to do.

That way no one will ask me.

Like they ask Meni...

Me, Meni... ME...

Listen to this,
from me?

No, from Meni.
-Funny.

Here's another one,
from Orna and Moshe?

No, from me.

Funny, huh?
-Hilarious...

I got one too,

is my husband an eggplant?

No, he's a dumbass.

That's not...
-Doesn't do it? -No.

I'll explain.

You can say, I got it,

I got it, I got it,

Is my husband dumb?

No, he's a dumbass.

You see?

Dumb - ass... Just drop it.

I know my husband's a dumbass...

This is good, who made it?

What? -Meni,

we don't want to burden you.

We know you're under pressure

and everyone wants your help,

but unlike the others, Meni,

we're offering you a business opportunity.

Okay, let's hear it.

Moshe has an idea
he's been working on for years,

he'll give you all the details,

but I need a commitment from you

that you'll keep it a secret.

Okay.

Moshe.
-Okay.

What's a diamond made of?

Stressed coal.
-Right!

So my friend met
a security guard at the mall

who was a leading engineer in Russia

and this engineer, Yuri,
invented a machine that produces diamonds.

A compressor,
it's already been invented.

Of course,

but Yuri the engineer
invented a tiny compressor

that you can put in your pocket.

A machine that produces diamonds?
-I told you he'd be psyched.

Okay, what's the investment sum?

To manufacture the machine -
300,000

and I was thinking we'd go in 50/50.

150,000.

And Meni, I gather
you'll give us something,

let's say 150,000 from the inheritance
to cover our share of the investment?

I mean,
we have to look out for ourselves,

not just give.

Yes, my ID is 033625270.

Aline, may I?

324.

My husband's is 02233458096.

The code is 224589...

Yes. 89.

He's coming.

Meni, Meni, Meni.

Meni, how nice to see you.
-Yes.

We gather you're troubled
about the inheritance.

First of all,
we're happy for you,

just so you know.
-Right.

We're sure it will settle you financially.

Yes, very much so, I'd say.

But believe me,

it's important you act wisely.
-Right,

you must consider very well
where the money goes to.

And even if you decide
to help your family out,

the inner circle. -It's very important
to help the family out.

I'd say it's a must. -Right.
-A must to help the family.

You know how it is,

once you're up,
once you're down,

you know how it is.
-Yes, but no pressure. -Right.

I'm sure you did some thinking,

that you have a plan, I'm sure.

I remember as a kid
you used to organize your marbles,

do you remember?

So what do you say?

How much do you say?

Why not Tahiti?

Why go so far?

I hate long flights,
there's no leg room, it's uncomfortable.

What are we getting married for?
So you can argue about everything?

I'm not arguing,
I'm voicing my opinion.

Fine, you voiced, I heard,

I want Tahiti and that's it.

I've been dreaming
of running on the beach with you,

all tanned,
our hair fluttering in the wind,

the blue-green water in the background,

you want to ruin my dream?

Hey, why are you fighting?

Save it for after the wedding.

Don't worry,
with her they'll have a lot to fight about.

Excuse me, are you insinuating
that I cause the fights?

Merav, don't worry,
you'll get what you want,

you women always do.

Then why he is arguing?
-I'm not arguing.

You are. -I'm not.
-You are.

You see?
He's arguing about that too.

So we're going to Tahiti?

I wanted to tell you
that I've been to Tahiti.

But I haven't been to Haiti.

That's an option too.

I haven't been to Haiti either.

Wait, was I in Haiti?

They're nuts, those two.

But they really suit one another.

Meni has such a big heart.

Too big sometimes.

That's what Aline's for,
to keep him in line.

Just not too much.

Hey, sweetheart,
would you like something to drink?

I'll get you...

What a cutie.
-Isn't he? -So sweet.

Remember when he was little,

if he got candy

he would share it with everyone.

Right.

And when it was all gone
he would cry. -Yes.

But he didn't have
three million candies back then. -Right.

Much less.
-But he shared. -And how,

minimum two, three percent.

He's so kind.
-He has a heart of gold.

My youngest son's passport number
is 033268781.

The same address.
-Aline.

Yes, we have the same address,
Meni Hasson, my husband, and myself.

18 Sukkot Road.

No.

I know it sounds funny,

but it's not "Sukkot"
like prostitutes.

It's an Israeli holiday.

Did you talk to Aline?

No, but don't worry,

I'll help you out with the wedding.

You will? -Yes.

Wow, Meni, thank you.

You're a champ.
-My pleasure.

Uncle Meni, can I have a SmartPad?
-Sure thing.

Me too? -Sure thing.

And you and you.

And you.

A SmartPad and Smartphone 8S for all.

Yes!

Thanks, Uncle Meni.
-Thanks.

Meni, what we discussed
is a done deal too?

Done. And Moshe,
I'll partner with you on the invention.

What invention?

It compresses coal.

Itamar. -Itamar?

Hey, Itamar, what's up?

Hey, Meni,

I heard you won an inheritance, congrats.

Thank you.

Tell me, Meni,

there's an exhibition
in Amsterdam I'm dying to attend,

can I count on you
to pay the expenses?

Sure thing.

It's only 30 days
including hotel, airfare

and some spending money
for the coffee shops.

For me and my girlfriend
it comes out around

no less than 20,000.

No problem, enjoy.
-Hold on, Meni,

my mom wants to talk to you.
-Your mom?

Yes.

Hello, Meni,
I don't mean to disturb the party,

I just wanted to congratulate you
on the inheritance.

Thank you, Riki,

I gotta go.

Yes, just one more second,

I wanted to ask for your help
to build a memorial

for the survivors
of the Swidnica community.

Sure thing.

It will be the last remnant
after we leave this world

and you'll be registered
as the contributor of the monument.

Alright, I'll contribute to the monument.

Thank you.

Wait, Pinhas wants you?
-Pinhas?

I think I got the fax.

Then leave him a message.

No, Meni.
-What?

Sit.

Sit.

What an honor!

Hey.
-Hey. -Aline.

Thank you so much.
-Thank you.

I was so moved,
I don't take it for granted.

What are you talking about?
-The money.

Look at you, so modest.

She hasn't changed at all,
you're the same Aline.

What money?
Talk to me.

Meni said he'd give us
some of the inheritance money

and that's so nice.
-So nice,

it moved me--
-Shutty.

What's going on, Meni?

Nothing, sweetie,
how much do you need?

What are you talking about?

Aline, I have to help my family.

So you distributed the inheritance
we don't have yet.

Not all of it, just a bit, sweetie.

Take everything I distributed,
you may reach half a million.

Don't worry,
we have 2.5 million

of the three million shekels.

Rubles, sweetie, not shekels.

Rubles?

We have three million rubles.

How much is that in shekels?

180,000,
and that's when Putin's relaxed.

Get up.
-What? -Get up!

How disappointing.

27,000 taken away in a second.

But it was never ours, babe.

Maybe you should cancel
the appointment with the dental hygienist?

Why? I haven't been in six months.

It doesn't bother me.

It doesn't bother you?
-No, I actually like

the yellowish hue of your teeth.

You sycophant, miser,
pauper and liar, my God.

I got one,

am I a whopper?

No, I'm a pauper.