Rosehaven (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript
- How far is it?
- It's about a four-hour walk.
- What?!
- Just kidding. It's just over here.
Does it have a rope ladder?
It's not a tree house,
more of a... shed.
- What'd you do in there?
- Just pretend I was in a tree house.
Well, I'm gonna pretend I'm
little Daniel in the tree house.
We actually don't have heaps of time.
We've got a list of stuff
to do before we close today.
- My list was better.
- Just the word 'pub' isn't a list.
I can't believe we're
open on a Saturday.
Oh, can you close your
eyes from this point?
Why aren't I allowed to know
where your cubby house is?
What if Robin never told
Batman where the Batcave was?
Do you mean if Batman never told Robin?
I'm Batman.
No, no, I just want to
do a dramatic reveal.
Oh, okay.
- All right?
- Ready. Yep.
Okay.
Whoa. Rock.
Oh! Ow!
Yeah, sorry, I asked you
to close your eyes too soon.
Okay, you can open them now.
Wow!
Yeah, it's pretty cool, isn't it?
Mum and I put it together.
It was just a spot near
school where I could hide
from people trying to punch
me, dak me, pee in my bag.
I can't believe Barbara
did this for you.
Well, I mean, I helped, a little, but...
yeah, she can be pretty
supportive when she's not being...
very unsupportive.
- Do you want to go inside?
- Yes!
- Whoa.
- Whoo!
You know, technically,
it's no girls allowed.
Too late!
Yeah. No wonder you didn't
let girls in here. Gross!
- These... these aren't mine.
- Sure.
No, no, none of this...
none of this is mine.
This... someone else has been in here.
It's Bruce! This...
this is Bruce's stuff.
He's... he's turned my
cubby house into his own...
porno... man cave.
Who still buys porn magazines?
Doesn't he have a phone?
How'd he find it?
- Are you mad?
- Yes! I... I am.
This... this is where I
came to get away from him,
and now it's like a...
Bruce shrine.
- He's probably masturbated there.
- Ugh.
Are you okay?
I haven't... grown, Em.
I still feel just as...
shit about all this stuff.
I thought...
running the business, showing Mum
I could do it, would... help, but...
couldn't do that either.
You did your best.
Didn't sell any houses.
Didn't expand the rent roll.
Mum's back tomorrow, and she's
not gonna want me sticking around.
What about your list?
We're gonna finish that today, right?
It's all shitty office tasks.
I'm not gonna redeem myself
by... restocking the tea bags.
Well... I thought you did a great job.
Well, I didn't, and now the
guy who made my childhood hell
has got me babysitting his dog,
and he's turned my
cubby house into his...
Personal wank den?
Yes. Thank you for that.
You know what?
If this is gonna be our
last day in Rosehaven,
I've got something new for your list.
It's fine. I wasn't using it anyway.
Shouldn't let it get to me.
- I think you should confront him.
- Yeah.
Really. Tomorrow you
leave this place forever.
Well, I'll try to come
back for Christmas...
Forever. So why not go and tell him off?
Because I'm not in
primary school anymore.
Exactly!
I came here to escape my
problems, but you didn't.
And I'm not going to let
you go back to Australia...
- The mainland.
- with your head down.
Today is all about Daniel
looking his childhood issues
straight in the eye and
poking them with his fingers.
And Bruce used to ruffle
my hair every day at school.
Every day he'd just walk past and...
ruin my fringe.
He's a monster.
I always imagined coming back
one day and ruining his fringe.
Well, guess what day it is.
What's the worst that can happen?
He can't dak me. I'm wearing a belt.
It'll be like a
hit-and-run for the soul.
Yeah. You know what? You're right.
I don't want to regret never
standing up to him my whole life.
No, you do not.
- I'm as tall as he is now.
- Yes, you are!
- Let's do this!
- Whoo!
I don't want to do this.
- You don't have to fight him.
- I was never gonna fight him.
You're just gonna tell him how
he hurt your feelings growing up
so you can release your bitterness,
then claim back what is rightfully yours
and take your place
as king of Rosehaven.
I'm just gonna tell him to move
his stuff out of my cubby house.
Same thing. Go on.
- Danny.
- Daniel.
What can I do for you?
Nothing.
Better let you get back to it.
Yep, Mr Rafter, it doesn't
matter if you're a lawyer or not.
Your dog is still pooing
in the common areas.
Well, it'd be quicker to put it
in the bin than post it to me.
Thanks for your time.
Are you ready to talk about it?
No.
Really? Let it out just a little?
I changed my mind, okay?
I... I don't care about the cubby
house and all that other stuff.
It was... a long time ago.
- It was my fault you choked.
- I didn't choke.
You did, but it was my fault.
It was too big a deal.
I sent you to the final boss too soon.
We need to level your
character up a bit.
Get you to do some
smaller things, then Bruce.
What things?
Other unfinished childhood
business you have here.
- I'm not a trapped spirit, Em.
- Come on!
What's all the stuff that you wanted
to do growing up that you didn't?
I don't know.
Do you want to stand up to Bruce or not?
- Yes.
- Good!
What's this one?
Mum never let me drink
juice after 9:00am.
She said I wasn't a
movie star in Hollywood.
Right. Well, it's 10:40.
Okay.
- So sweet.
- You got this.
"Swing over creek." Easy.
It's not. It's actually
more scary now I'm an adult.
No!
I weigh more now,
and I'm pretty sure this is the
same rope from when I was a kid.
You got this, buddy!
That was... that was easy.
I thought you were gonna fall in!
Yeah, me too.
- Bruce?
- Yeah.
- How do I get back?
- I don't know.
- Well, can you bring the car around?
- I don't know how to get over there.
- Well, just Google Map it.
- You don't have an address.
Am I supposed to type in "grass patch"?
No, just open the app...
- You ready?
- Hang on.
- What... what are you doing?
- I want to look confident.
Okay.
You've... you've never stood like that.
No one has. No one stands like that.
- Well...
- Just stand normally.
- How do I normally stand?
- I don't... You know, just stand.
Not... weird.
Better.
Hey, Bruce!
Danny! What are you
doing back here again?
You know my cubby house?
- Yeah...? Oh, my shed?
- Yes.
No.
- What about it?
- Well, I want you to stop...
Why have you got your
hands in your pockets?
What?
Just... looks weird.
No, it doesn't.
At least you said
"cubby house" this time.
This is worse than I thought.
He really did a number on you.
He replaced my sunscreen
with Liquid Paper once, so...
We don't have to do this.
I'm sorry I pushed you.
Uh, what else do we
need to do today, hmm?
Eh?
Here we go. How about, um...
Spellcheck the rental ads, that's good.
No. No, no. No.
I want to ruffle his hair.
Okay. Let's step it up.
I've changed my mind. I think Mum
was right not to let me do this.
You just have to turn it on.
How does it feel?
I hate it!
What?!
- Don't worry, this is an easy one.
- Yeah...
Hi.
Oh.
- What can I get you?
- Uh, nothing.
Um, I was in here before and I
bought a steak and mushroom pie,
and I'm pretty sure it
gave me food poisoning.
- Oh.
- I thought you should know.
When did you come in?
1990.
That was a long time ago.
I wasn't even born.
I know, but I remember it.
Um, I... I ate it and then I spewed
a hundred metres from my house.
It was also my birthday.
So, how do you know it was
the pie that made you sick?
Well, it... it was the
only thing I ate that day.
A pie was the only thing you ate?
Doesn't sound right.
Well, I... I was sick.
Sometimes the food
poisoning incubation period
can be as long as 10 days.
You sure know a lot about food poisoning
for someone who hasn't
food-poisoned anyone.
Can you please just apologise?
I would if I thought it
was one of our products.
Apologise!
I'm sorry you're upset.
That's an "I'm sorry you're
sorry". It doesn't count.
- Yeah, but it's fine. I'm just...
- It's not fine.
- It's fine?
- It is fine. Yeah, it's fine.
- Okay.
- Okay, let's go.
- How you feeling?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
Is there anything you
wanted to do today?
We can't do mine.
I wanted Josh to turn up
and beg for my forgiveness.
Do you want to get back with him?
I want him to want me to. Is that crazy?
No.
You know what I would like? World peace.
And for you to stand up to Bruce.
Yeah, me too.
Okay. Here we go.
Swing and a miss!
He would have sprayed us.
Got it.
Oh, not this, Em. A lot's changed.
- You still like her though, right?
- Yes...
Tell her how you feel.
Might get a goodbye pash.
Might get rejected.
Last day, remember.
Just go in there and shake her hand.
It is a very special breed of arsehole
that can refuse an outstretched hand.
- Well, then what do I do?
- You improvise.
- Oh, what are you gonna open with?
- "Hey"?
Good. Hey is good. Super casual.
Hi's too intense. Hi's
like a charity mugger.
It's like, "Hi! Do you
like tigers?" It's too much.
- Well, what if she has patients?
- Invisible patients?
Where are you going?
Oh, I just thought I
might go say bye to Damien.
The locksmith who unlocked your heart?
Just shut up! It's my
last day too, remember?
And plus, I'm not gonna wait
outside while you hit on the GP.
She's probably busy.
Love breaks all barriers
of time and space.
Daniel.
Plus, I made you an appointment.
- You ready?
- Yep.
How are you?
Uh, good, thanks. Yeah, yeah, good.
Then what are you doing here?
- Uh, how are you...
- Shall we get started?
- Sorry, you go.
- The mole scan.
The... the mole... the mole scan?
That's what I had you down for.
Uh, yeah.
Uh, just had one on my hand
I wanted you to have a...
When was the last time you had a scan?
Yesterday.
Two years ago.
Then we're doing the whole lot.
Can you take your shirt and pants off?
It's actually lucky you got
me. I was about to head out.
- Oh, really?
- No.
You really feel kind of
hidden in here, don't you?
Yeah, I think they call it nesting.
Oh. I'd say it feels more like a burrow.
- Do you want a drink?
- Sure.
What's this music?
I'm not sure. It's just sort
of instrumentals on shuffle.
Actually, there's a track in there
that makes you feel like
a Frenchman writing poetry,
about to throw a glass
of wine against a wall.
But most of it's pretty upbeat.
Ah. Awesome.
Well, Daniel and I are leaving Rosehaven
and he's doing his goodbyes,
so I thought I would too.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Thing is, I haven't actually
met that many people,
so I don't actually
have that many goodbyes,
and, um, I really liked...
your house.
So, I'm, um... leaving tomorrow.
Are you? That's a shame.
Yeah. Yeah. Mum gets back, so...
Danny, your breathing's quite shallow.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
I'm just looking at your
body with a magnifying glass.
It's nothing to worry about.
Sorry, what are you...?
I'm taking a photo of the
spots I want to keep an eye on.
Right. Of course.
So, I, um...
think I still like you.
As a... as a friend, obviously.
I mean, not as a friend, but, um...
I mean, you are my friend, but, um...
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Uh, that was, um...
I'm sorry. I should have asked, uh, you.
No, I... should have checked.
I should have waited till I
had clothes on. Um, I'm sorry.
I should.. I... just your face was very
close and I was worried you'd say no.
- And I'm sorry. I'm sorry about this.
- Yeah, Daniel,
um... I'm just not used to patients
trying to kiss me, that's all.
No. Well, why would you be? Um...
I don't know. Maybe it's
a thing that... happens.
Have you tried to kiss a doctor before?
No, it was you... specific. I'm sorry.
Um, I'm in my underpants. I'm gonna go.
Olive.
Are Saturdays always this quiet?
No. A little treat for us.
I'm back!
You booked me in for a mole scan.
You haven't been in two
years. You're welcome.
I forgot to ask if she found anything.
So? Did you tell her you liked her?
Yes.
- In my undies.
- Brave choice.
Not a choice. Mole scan.
- Then I tried to kiss her.
- Did you?
Jinx!
What do you mean, jinx?
I kissed Damien.
- Really?
- Yeah. In the daytime.
Well, I didn't kiss
Grace. I just... leaned in.
Okay. Well... well, that's still good.
She leaned away, and then I
walked outside with no clothes on.
Probably got sunburnt and
have to get another mole scan.
Okay. That sounds terrible.
But you did something that
young you would never have done.
Yeah, I guess.
You're ready.
Final boss?
He's not home.
Sorry, mate.
- Let's leave a note.
- Hm?
"Fuck... you.
- "From Dan."
- No. No, no, no...
- "From Daniel."
- No, no. No, it doesn't... no...
Come on! Quick!
Come on, come on, come on!
If you set those off when work finishes,
you'll have to stay
behind and clean it up.
Boom! Blam!
Just as powerful.
Goodnight, you two.
Oh, um, Mrs Marsh.
Uh, I... I know we've only worked
together for a small amount of time,
but I've always appreciated your...
work.
Thanks, Daniel.
I know you're hard on yourself,
but you always got here on time,
and the photocopier's working again.
Thank you.
See you at Christmas.
- Bye!
- Bye.
- Pub?
- Pub.
Hey, I just realised
you're not my boss anymore.
Uh, no.
- No, no, I... I guess you're right.
- Great.
You just going to leave
them there like that?
Yeah.
How are you gonna drink your wine?
You got me.
Hey, why don't you
ask, uh, Damien to come?
Nah, he doesn't like people.
Or public places. Or leaving his house.
Maybe he doesn't want to come
because you don't kiss good.
I kiss real good.
I think you're just jealous
because you didn't get a kiss.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry you didn't
get a kiss in your undies.
I mean, that you didn't kiss
her while you were wearing...
Yep, yep, got it. Thank you. Thank you.
And also, you never beat the big boss.
No, no, I'm... I'm glad.
I... I'm glad he wasn't there.
I've got to... I've got to let it go.
I've given that man too
much... too much brain time.
Right.
Bruce is a piece of shit.
Oi, oi.
G'day. Just a beer, thanks, mate.
Did he... did he hear me?
Nah.
Hey, Bruce! You're a piece of shit!
- What?
- You...
You... you... you heard me.
Just here for a beer, mate.
Yeah, I'm not your mate. And
I want my cubby house back.
Oh, f...
Hey, you left. Get over it.
How was I supposed to know
you'd come crawling
back from the mainland?
- Couldn't hack it.
- It's just a shitty shed.
Yeah, it is now...
It is now you've turned
it into a porn shed, okay?
That's been my space
since I was a kid, Bruce.
I built it with my mum.
- All right, Danny, relax.
- Yeah, it's Daniel.
And I want your stuff out of there.
Sure thing...
Danny.
Hey, hey, hey, let's go.
Come on, let's go. You did it. Good job.
Fuck you, mate!
- That was Dan's childhood space.
- Yeah!
Okay, well, I guess you're
gonna have to find another...
place to have no friends in.
No...? I'm his friend,
and we went there today
and totally fooled
around on all your stuff!
Yeah, you... you think you
can just push me around, Bruce?
You can't now, okay? I'm
a... I'm a property manager.
- He's a manager!
- All right, all right.
I think it's time for
you two to go home.
You've had a little bit too much.
- Yeah, too much of your shit!
- Oh, nice.
If you hadn't have fallen
over, you could have taken him.
I doubt it.
I almost fell on Mrs Marsh.
Didn't even see her come in.
She thought it was funny.
- Really?
- No.
I shouldn't have made you
do all that stuff today.
No, no, it was...
it was... it was good for me. I...
Apart from falling over
and getting arrested, I...
had fun.
- We were in a bar fight!
- Yeah.
I... I'm ready to leave now, but...
thanks for today, Em.
Aww!
It was fun, wasn't it?
No!
Everyone feeling better?
Greg, I am so sorry. It was
just a... little disagreement.
Bruce and I have sorted it out, so...
I'd actually say that there's
more animosity between us now.
He's joking.
Look, I'm sorry about this, team,
but you didn't give
me much of an option.
Can you take a photo for me?
Weren't there enough people
at the pub taking photos?
But here we're behind bars. I
can tell Josh I'm on death row.
It was nothing. It was
a heated discussion.
- He called me a piece of shit, Dad.
- I was kidding.
Look, I love you all equally.
Huh?
Yeah, look, we should...
probably get going.
I've got to pack for
tomorrow, so if you...
I'll get us all a pizza
so you guys can sober up.
Oh, don't forget to get the
garlic bread this time, Dad!
Mum, what are you...
what are you doing here?
- My son got arrested.
- What are you doing here?
It wasn't his fault.
- It was.
- Hi, Barbara.
I was going to let them out.
Well, I wasn't even going to
put them in, standard procedure.
Practically everybody in
town saw what they did,
so I had to do something.
But, uh, it's good to use
the cells every now and then,
what with all this talk
about closing the single-man...
one-man stations.
Gotta seem useful.
That's fine, Greg.
You look good.
- Cane new?
- It's temporary.
I think it looks great.
Mum, are... are you okay?
If you were that
worried about my health,
you wouldn't have got arrested
and made me get out of rehab.
Oh, Barbara, I had no idea.
Not for drugs, Greg.
I am... I am so sorry.
Really sorry. Nothing bad happened.
How do you expect to work here now?
Well, it... it's my...
it's my last day, isn't it?
Obviously I'll need you to
stick around a bit longer.
I can't sit for more than 15 minutes.
I'm not happy about it, either. I
thought I'd heal faster than this.
So we're staying? That's the best!
I mean, not about you
being sick, obviously.
Shall I let them out, Barbara?
Yes, thanks, Greg.
Well?
- Uh, thanks, Greg.
- Thank you, Greg.
Have you anything you
want to say, Bruce?
I'm glad you're staying. See you around.
Well, that sounds like a threat.
How does it look when an estate agent
can't even deal with a
dispute over a cubby house
without getting arrested?
Um, yes, well, we
spellchecked the rental ads.
Hey, when can I come and see my dog?
- What?
- Uh, we have a dog now.
Em and I are gonna go door to
door offering free appraisals.
Do you know what you
are? Human junk mail.
Em, I'm at the radio station,
we're going on soon. Where are you?
I think Daniel sounds like a legend
and I would love to get
an appraisal from him.
- Emma?
- No! Whoo!
Would you like to kiss... now?
Are you asking me rather than leaning in
because of what happened last time?
Thanks for getting Damien
to put a lock on it.
No worries.
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah.
- I hate it in here.
- Yeah, me too. It's so gross.
- It's about a four-hour walk.
- What?!
- Just kidding. It's just over here.
Does it have a rope ladder?
It's not a tree house,
more of a... shed.
- What'd you do in there?
- Just pretend I was in a tree house.
Well, I'm gonna pretend I'm
little Daniel in the tree house.
We actually don't have heaps of time.
We've got a list of stuff
to do before we close today.
- My list was better.
- Just the word 'pub' isn't a list.
I can't believe we're
open on a Saturday.
Oh, can you close your
eyes from this point?
Why aren't I allowed to know
where your cubby house is?
What if Robin never told
Batman where the Batcave was?
Do you mean if Batman never told Robin?
I'm Batman.
No, no, I just want to
do a dramatic reveal.
Oh, okay.
- All right?
- Ready. Yep.
Okay.
Whoa. Rock.
Oh! Ow!
Yeah, sorry, I asked you
to close your eyes too soon.
Okay, you can open them now.
Wow!
Yeah, it's pretty cool, isn't it?
Mum and I put it together.
It was just a spot near
school where I could hide
from people trying to punch
me, dak me, pee in my bag.
I can't believe Barbara
did this for you.
Well, I mean, I helped, a little, but...
yeah, she can be pretty
supportive when she's not being...
very unsupportive.
- Do you want to go inside?
- Yes!
- Whoa.
- Whoo!
You know, technically,
it's no girls allowed.
Too late!
Yeah. No wonder you didn't
let girls in here. Gross!
- These... these aren't mine.
- Sure.
No, no, none of this...
none of this is mine.
This... someone else has been in here.
It's Bruce! This...
this is Bruce's stuff.
He's... he's turned my
cubby house into his own...
porno... man cave.
Who still buys porn magazines?
Doesn't he have a phone?
How'd he find it?
- Are you mad?
- Yes! I... I am.
This... this is where I
came to get away from him,
and now it's like a...
Bruce shrine.
- He's probably masturbated there.
- Ugh.
Are you okay?
I haven't... grown, Em.
I still feel just as...
shit about all this stuff.
I thought...
running the business, showing Mum
I could do it, would... help, but...
couldn't do that either.
You did your best.
Didn't sell any houses.
Didn't expand the rent roll.
Mum's back tomorrow, and she's
not gonna want me sticking around.
What about your list?
We're gonna finish that today, right?
It's all shitty office tasks.
I'm not gonna redeem myself
by... restocking the tea bags.
Well... I thought you did a great job.
Well, I didn't, and now the
guy who made my childhood hell
has got me babysitting his dog,
and he's turned my
cubby house into his...
Personal wank den?
Yes. Thank you for that.
You know what?
If this is gonna be our
last day in Rosehaven,
I've got something new for your list.
It's fine. I wasn't using it anyway.
Shouldn't let it get to me.
- I think you should confront him.
- Yeah.
Really. Tomorrow you
leave this place forever.
Well, I'll try to come
back for Christmas...
Forever. So why not go and tell him off?
Because I'm not in
primary school anymore.
Exactly!
I came here to escape my
problems, but you didn't.
And I'm not going to let
you go back to Australia...
- The mainland.
- with your head down.
Today is all about Daniel
looking his childhood issues
straight in the eye and
poking them with his fingers.
And Bruce used to ruffle
my hair every day at school.
Every day he'd just walk past and...
ruin my fringe.
He's a monster.
I always imagined coming back
one day and ruining his fringe.
Well, guess what day it is.
What's the worst that can happen?
He can't dak me. I'm wearing a belt.
It'll be like a
hit-and-run for the soul.
Yeah. You know what? You're right.
I don't want to regret never
standing up to him my whole life.
No, you do not.
- I'm as tall as he is now.
- Yes, you are!
- Let's do this!
- Whoo!
I don't want to do this.
- You don't have to fight him.
- I was never gonna fight him.
You're just gonna tell him how
he hurt your feelings growing up
so you can release your bitterness,
then claim back what is rightfully yours
and take your place
as king of Rosehaven.
I'm just gonna tell him to move
his stuff out of my cubby house.
Same thing. Go on.
- Danny.
- Daniel.
What can I do for you?
Nothing.
Better let you get back to it.
Yep, Mr Rafter, it doesn't
matter if you're a lawyer or not.
Your dog is still pooing
in the common areas.
Well, it'd be quicker to put it
in the bin than post it to me.
Thanks for your time.
Are you ready to talk about it?
No.
Really? Let it out just a little?
I changed my mind, okay?
I... I don't care about the cubby
house and all that other stuff.
It was... a long time ago.
- It was my fault you choked.
- I didn't choke.
You did, but it was my fault.
It was too big a deal.
I sent you to the final boss too soon.
We need to level your
character up a bit.
Get you to do some
smaller things, then Bruce.
What things?
Other unfinished childhood
business you have here.
- I'm not a trapped spirit, Em.
- Come on!
What's all the stuff that you wanted
to do growing up that you didn't?
I don't know.
Do you want to stand up to Bruce or not?
- Yes.
- Good!
What's this one?
Mum never let me drink
juice after 9:00am.
She said I wasn't a
movie star in Hollywood.
Right. Well, it's 10:40.
Okay.
- So sweet.
- You got this.
"Swing over creek." Easy.
It's not. It's actually
more scary now I'm an adult.
No!
I weigh more now,
and I'm pretty sure this is the
same rope from when I was a kid.
You got this, buddy!
That was... that was easy.
I thought you were gonna fall in!
Yeah, me too.
- Bruce?
- Yeah.
- How do I get back?
- I don't know.
- Well, can you bring the car around?
- I don't know how to get over there.
- Well, just Google Map it.
- You don't have an address.
Am I supposed to type in "grass patch"?
No, just open the app...
- You ready?
- Hang on.
- What... what are you doing?
- I want to look confident.
Okay.
You've... you've never stood like that.
No one has. No one stands like that.
- Well...
- Just stand normally.
- How do I normally stand?
- I don't... You know, just stand.
Not... weird.
Better.
Hey, Bruce!
Danny! What are you
doing back here again?
You know my cubby house?
- Yeah...? Oh, my shed?
- Yes.
No.
- What about it?
- Well, I want you to stop...
Why have you got your
hands in your pockets?
What?
Just... looks weird.
No, it doesn't.
At least you said
"cubby house" this time.
This is worse than I thought.
He really did a number on you.
He replaced my sunscreen
with Liquid Paper once, so...
We don't have to do this.
I'm sorry I pushed you.
Uh, what else do we
need to do today, hmm?
Eh?
Here we go. How about, um...
Spellcheck the rental ads, that's good.
No. No, no. No.
I want to ruffle his hair.
Okay. Let's step it up.
I've changed my mind. I think Mum
was right not to let me do this.
You just have to turn it on.
How does it feel?
I hate it!
What?!
- Don't worry, this is an easy one.
- Yeah...
Hi.
Oh.
- What can I get you?
- Uh, nothing.
Um, I was in here before and I
bought a steak and mushroom pie,
and I'm pretty sure it
gave me food poisoning.
- Oh.
- I thought you should know.
When did you come in?
1990.
That was a long time ago.
I wasn't even born.
I know, but I remember it.
Um, I... I ate it and then I spewed
a hundred metres from my house.
It was also my birthday.
So, how do you know it was
the pie that made you sick?
Well, it... it was the
only thing I ate that day.
A pie was the only thing you ate?
Doesn't sound right.
Well, I... I was sick.
Sometimes the food
poisoning incubation period
can be as long as 10 days.
You sure know a lot about food poisoning
for someone who hasn't
food-poisoned anyone.
Can you please just apologise?
I would if I thought it
was one of our products.
Apologise!
I'm sorry you're upset.
That's an "I'm sorry you're
sorry". It doesn't count.
- Yeah, but it's fine. I'm just...
- It's not fine.
- It's fine?
- It is fine. Yeah, it's fine.
- Okay.
- Okay, let's go.
- How you feeling?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
Is there anything you
wanted to do today?
We can't do mine.
I wanted Josh to turn up
and beg for my forgiveness.
Do you want to get back with him?
I want him to want me to. Is that crazy?
No.
You know what I would like? World peace.
And for you to stand up to Bruce.
Yeah, me too.
Okay. Here we go.
Swing and a miss!
He would have sprayed us.
Got it.
Oh, not this, Em. A lot's changed.
- You still like her though, right?
- Yes...
Tell her how you feel.
Might get a goodbye pash.
Might get rejected.
Last day, remember.
Just go in there and shake her hand.
It is a very special breed of arsehole
that can refuse an outstretched hand.
- Well, then what do I do?
- You improvise.
- Oh, what are you gonna open with?
- "Hey"?
Good. Hey is good. Super casual.
Hi's too intense. Hi's
like a charity mugger.
It's like, "Hi! Do you
like tigers?" It's too much.
- Well, what if she has patients?
- Invisible patients?
Where are you going?
Oh, I just thought I
might go say bye to Damien.
The locksmith who unlocked your heart?
Just shut up! It's my
last day too, remember?
And plus, I'm not gonna wait
outside while you hit on the GP.
She's probably busy.
Love breaks all barriers
of time and space.
Daniel.
Plus, I made you an appointment.
- You ready?
- Yep.
How are you?
Uh, good, thanks. Yeah, yeah, good.
Then what are you doing here?
- Uh, how are you...
- Shall we get started?
- Sorry, you go.
- The mole scan.
The... the mole... the mole scan?
That's what I had you down for.
Uh, yeah.
Uh, just had one on my hand
I wanted you to have a...
When was the last time you had a scan?
Yesterday.
Two years ago.
Then we're doing the whole lot.
Can you take your shirt and pants off?
It's actually lucky you got
me. I was about to head out.
- Oh, really?
- No.
You really feel kind of
hidden in here, don't you?
Yeah, I think they call it nesting.
Oh. I'd say it feels more like a burrow.
- Do you want a drink?
- Sure.
What's this music?
I'm not sure. It's just sort
of instrumentals on shuffle.
Actually, there's a track in there
that makes you feel like
a Frenchman writing poetry,
about to throw a glass
of wine against a wall.
But most of it's pretty upbeat.
Ah. Awesome.
Well, Daniel and I are leaving Rosehaven
and he's doing his goodbyes,
so I thought I would too.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Thing is, I haven't actually
met that many people,
so I don't actually
have that many goodbyes,
and, um, I really liked...
your house.
So, I'm, um... leaving tomorrow.
Are you? That's a shame.
Yeah. Yeah. Mum gets back, so...
Danny, your breathing's quite shallow.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
I'm just looking at your
body with a magnifying glass.
It's nothing to worry about.
Sorry, what are you...?
I'm taking a photo of the
spots I want to keep an eye on.
Right. Of course.
So, I, um...
think I still like you.
As a... as a friend, obviously.
I mean, not as a friend, but, um...
I mean, you are my friend, but, um...
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Uh, that was, um...
I'm sorry. I should have asked, uh, you.
No, I... should have checked.
I should have waited till I
had clothes on. Um, I'm sorry.
I should.. I... just your face was very
close and I was worried you'd say no.
- And I'm sorry. I'm sorry about this.
- Yeah, Daniel,
um... I'm just not used to patients
trying to kiss me, that's all.
No. Well, why would you be? Um...
I don't know. Maybe it's
a thing that... happens.
Have you tried to kiss a doctor before?
No, it was you... specific. I'm sorry.
Um, I'm in my underpants. I'm gonna go.
Olive.
Are Saturdays always this quiet?
No. A little treat for us.
I'm back!
You booked me in for a mole scan.
You haven't been in two
years. You're welcome.
I forgot to ask if she found anything.
So? Did you tell her you liked her?
Yes.
- In my undies.
- Brave choice.
Not a choice. Mole scan.
- Then I tried to kiss her.
- Did you?
Jinx!
What do you mean, jinx?
I kissed Damien.
- Really?
- Yeah. In the daytime.
Well, I didn't kiss
Grace. I just... leaned in.
Okay. Well... well, that's still good.
She leaned away, and then I
walked outside with no clothes on.
Probably got sunburnt and
have to get another mole scan.
Okay. That sounds terrible.
But you did something that
young you would never have done.
Yeah, I guess.
You're ready.
Final boss?
He's not home.
Sorry, mate.
- Let's leave a note.
- Hm?
"Fuck... you.
- "From Dan."
- No. No, no, no...
- "From Daniel."
- No, no. No, it doesn't... no...
Come on! Quick!
Come on, come on, come on!
If you set those off when work finishes,
you'll have to stay
behind and clean it up.
Boom! Blam!
Just as powerful.
Goodnight, you two.
Oh, um, Mrs Marsh.
Uh, I... I know we've only worked
together for a small amount of time,
but I've always appreciated your...
work.
Thanks, Daniel.
I know you're hard on yourself,
but you always got here on time,
and the photocopier's working again.
Thank you.
See you at Christmas.
- Bye!
- Bye.
- Pub?
- Pub.
Hey, I just realised
you're not my boss anymore.
Uh, no.
- No, no, I... I guess you're right.
- Great.
You just going to leave
them there like that?
Yeah.
How are you gonna drink your wine?
You got me.
Hey, why don't you
ask, uh, Damien to come?
Nah, he doesn't like people.
Or public places. Or leaving his house.
Maybe he doesn't want to come
because you don't kiss good.
I kiss real good.
I think you're just jealous
because you didn't get a kiss.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry you didn't
get a kiss in your undies.
I mean, that you didn't kiss
her while you were wearing...
Yep, yep, got it. Thank you. Thank you.
And also, you never beat the big boss.
No, no, I'm... I'm glad.
I... I'm glad he wasn't there.
I've got to... I've got to let it go.
I've given that man too
much... too much brain time.
Right.
Bruce is a piece of shit.
Oi, oi.
G'day. Just a beer, thanks, mate.
Did he... did he hear me?
Nah.
Hey, Bruce! You're a piece of shit!
- What?
- You...
You... you... you heard me.
Just here for a beer, mate.
Yeah, I'm not your mate. And
I want my cubby house back.
Oh, f...
Hey, you left. Get over it.
How was I supposed to know
you'd come crawling
back from the mainland?
- Couldn't hack it.
- It's just a shitty shed.
Yeah, it is now...
It is now you've turned
it into a porn shed, okay?
That's been my space
since I was a kid, Bruce.
I built it with my mum.
- All right, Danny, relax.
- Yeah, it's Daniel.
And I want your stuff out of there.
Sure thing...
Danny.
Hey, hey, hey, let's go.
Come on, let's go. You did it. Good job.
Fuck you, mate!
- That was Dan's childhood space.
- Yeah!
Okay, well, I guess you're
gonna have to find another...
place to have no friends in.
No...? I'm his friend,
and we went there today
and totally fooled
around on all your stuff!
Yeah, you... you think you
can just push me around, Bruce?
You can't now, okay? I'm
a... I'm a property manager.
- He's a manager!
- All right, all right.
I think it's time for
you two to go home.
You've had a little bit too much.
- Yeah, too much of your shit!
- Oh, nice.
If you hadn't have fallen
over, you could have taken him.
I doubt it.
I almost fell on Mrs Marsh.
Didn't even see her come in.
She thought it was funny.
- Really?
- No.
I shouldn't have made you
do all that stuff today.
No, no, it was...
it was... it was good for me. I...
Apart from falling over
and getting arrested, I...
had fun.
- We were in a bar fight!
- Yeah.
I... I'm ready to leave now, but...
thanks for today, Em.
Aww!
It was fun, wasn't it?
No!
Everyone feeling better?
Greg, I am so sorry. It was
just a... little disagreement.
Bruce and I have sorted it out, so...
I'd actually say that there's
more animosity between us now.
He's joking.
Look, I'm sorry about this, team,
but you didn't give
me much of an option.
Can you take a photo for me?
Weren't there enough people
at the pub taking photos?
But here we're behind bars. I
can tell Josh I'm on death row.
It was nothing. It was
a heated discussion.
- He called me a piece of shit, Dad.
- I was kidding.
Look, I love you all equally.
Huh?
Yeah, look, we should...
probably get going.
I've got to pack for
tomorrow, so if you...
I'll get us all a pizza
so you guys can sober up.
Oh, don't forget to get the
garlic bread this time, Dad!
Mum, what are you...
what are you doing here?
- My son got arrested.
- What are you doing here?
It wasn't his fault.
- It was.
- Hi, Barbara.
I was going to let them out.
Well, I wasn't even going to
put them in, standard procedure.
Practically everybody in
town saw what they did,
so I had to do something.
But, uh, it's good to use
the cells every now and then,
what with all this talk
about closing the single-man...
one-man stations.
Gotta seem useful.
That's fine, Greg.
You look good.
- Cane new?
- It's temporary.
I think it looks great.
Mum, are... are you okay?
If you were that
worried about my health,
you wouldn't have got arrested
and made me get out of rehab.
Oh, Barbara, I had no idea.
Not for drugs, Greg.
I am... I am so sorry.
Really sorry. Nothing bad happened.
How do you expect to work here now?
Well, it... it's my...
it's my last day, isn't it?
Obviously I'll need you to
stick around a bit longer.
I can't sit for more than 15 minutes.
I'm not happy about it, either. I
thought I'd heal faster than this.
So we're staying? That's the best!
I mean, not about you
being sick, obviously.
Shall I let them out, Barbara?
Yes, thanks, Greg.
Well?
- Uh, thanks, Greg.
- Thank you, Greg.
Have you anything you
want to say, Bruce?
I'm glad you're staying. See you around.
Well, that sounds like a threat.
How does it look when an estate agent
can't even deal with a
dispute over a cubby house
without getting arrested?
Um, yes, well, we
spellchecked the rental ads.
Hey, when can I come and see my dog?
- What?
- Uh, we have a dog now.
Em and I are gonna go door to
door offering free appraisals.
Do you know what you
are? Human junk mail.
Em, I'm at the radio station,
we're going on soon. Where are you?
I think Daniel sounds like a legend
and I would love to get
an appraisal from him.
- Emma?
- No! Whoo!
Would you like to kiss... now?
Are you asking me rather than leaning in
because of what happened last time?
Thanks for getting Damien
to put a lock on it.
No worries.
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah.
- I hate it in here.
- Yeah, me too. It's so gross.