Roseanne (1988–2018): Season 2, Episode 16 - Born to Be Wild - full transcript
In his first appearance, Dan and Roseanne's old friend Ziggy returns for a visit, prompting the Conners to wonder what happened to themselves and when they became "old".
Why don't you call in sick
and we'll go do something?
Why don't you go do
something with Dan?
I already did
something with Dan.
We got out of bed.
I thought you and Dan were gonna
go over to Phil and Vonda's.
No, I don't think
we're gonna go.
Why not?
'Cause he has about 50
games he wants to watch,
and then D.J. Has Joey over.
Well, so, maybe you
could go later,
after Becky gets
back from the mall.
Duh!
Hey, Jackie.
Nice crease.
Bye, mom.
Where are you going?
Out.
Can I go with you?
Oh, please.
Dan, we could, um, go over
to Phil and Vonda's later on.
I don't know. [TV ON]
Who's this party for, anyway?
Well, what difference
does it make?
It's people.
It's a chance to get
out of the house.
Come on, play defence!
Is that what you're
gonna do all day?
Just sit here and watch sports?
Pretty much.
Well, Phil and Vonda
don't live that far.
I mean, I promise you won't
have to be on your feet
more than two minutes.
Phil and Vonda have
a TV set, too.
Yeah…
They got an iron, too.
Why don't you go over there?
I'm going to work. I'll see you later.
Are you gonna be here?
For the rest of my life.
[DOOR CLOSES]
I'm back!
These guys are so bad,
it's unbelievable.
Do you want me to mend these
or just toss 'em out?
Yeah, honey, would you fix 'em?
I wanna keep 'em.
Do you want me to fix this
so you can wear it, too?
Yeah, honey. It's my favourite.
[ENGINE REVVING]
Dad, there's a guy outside
petting a motorcycle.
Oh, let me.
Oh, my god!
You're not going to believe this.
Get over here.
Hey.
Hey!
Hey, what?
No bikers allowed, man!
Ziggy!
[GROWLING]
Aah! Aah!
Oh, man. Yeah!
Whoa!
Whoa.
You guys got…
Big.
Not really. It's just
a very small house.
What brings you back here, man?
Come back to find yourself?
Hey, man, I never lost it.
Well, that's your opinion.
So what brings you
back to Lanford?
Oh, we're laying a
fibre optic cable
right through the
centre of town.
Mom, whose motorcycle's
in our front yard?
Whoa. Who are these kids?
They came with the house.
Wow! I had to make mine.
You got kids?
Yeah, 2 boys.
No. Yeah.
Checked them at birth.
They're boys.
How come you didn't invite
us to your wedding?
What wedding?
Aren't you married?
Nah! No. We talk
about it sometimes,
but the kids are against it.
I can see why.
And what's your name?
Darlene.
Ooh, I dig it.
You named her after
the mouseketeer.
What?!
Is that true?
Of course that's not true.
You got to meet our son.
Cubby!
Annette, right?
Becky.
Hi, Becky.
Ziggy Walsh.
Hi.
[IMITATES MACHINE-GUN FIRE]
Whoa! Look out!
This is D.J. Say hello to ziggy.
Hello, ziggy.
Perfect. You can go now.
That's the lad.
So how's it feel to
be back in Lanford?
It's weird, man. I
mean, I made the whole
main street/ Lanford
avenue loop.
You know, drove by
the high school,
drove by cook's.
I mean, like, absolutely
nothing's changed.
I mean, even those
rail road tracks
behind the supermarket
that run right into
the cement wall.
In my opinion,
the perfect metaphor
for Lanford.
Have you ever killed anyone?
Check it out, man.
'71. Lookout point.
That's when yor introduced me
to the Harris sisters.
Yor? Yor?
That's your dad.
Yor!
Yor?! Yor?!
Yor! Yeah.
You little chicks got
a problem with that?
I called Jackie.
She's gonna meet us
later so we can go out.
Ok, great. I thought we
might spring for a meal
at the Lanford inn, but
you gotta wear a tie.
Sorry.
Danny, let's you and me just
go over to the lobo, huh?
Hey, what about me?
What about you?
You're not leaving me here
while you two go out and
guy around, Norbert.
Norbert? Norbert?
I don't respond to that name.
Does your mom still
call you Norbie?
Hey, man, how do you
live with this chick?
I have to. I'm married to her.
You guys got married?
You were in the wedding.
Right!
Ok, Rosie, you're going with us.
See, like I said,
nothing's changed.
Check it out, lady.
'71. Your man.
Where was I?
Honey, the idea of you isn't
even in this picture.
You look pretty cool, here, yor.
Whose bike?
Mine.
Dig those funky bellbottoms.
Ugh!
Amazing, man, she's
just like you.
I am not. I'm nothing like her.
See what I mean?
Honey, you are no more like me
than I am like my mother.
Oh, god.
Hey, Zzg, can we go
look at your Honda?
My what?
My what?!
Pumpkin, it's a Harley.
It is a heritage soft tail…
The new evolution engine,
the blockhead that is
80, 8-o, cubic inches
of bone-shaking power…
Annette.
Becky, not a Honda.
Harley.
Can you say Harley?
I know that you can.
Apologise to the zigmeister.
Sorry…
Zigmeister.
It's ok.
Once you get on one, you'll
know the difference.
And guess what, honey? That will
never happen in my lifetime.
Can we go sit on it?
No. No.
We'll just look.
Ok, but not too hard.
Becky, you watch your brother and
sister while we're gone, ok,
but not too hard.
Hey, Danny.
Whatever happened to
that '55 pan of yours?
What are you talking about, man?
It's out in the garage.
How's it holding up?
Pretty good.
Oh, man, now that was
a beautiful bike.
I mean, you had it
tricked out real cherry.
That bike's a classic.
We better get to lobo
before it gets too crowded!
Hey, come on, I just gotta take
a look at it before we go.
Just to pay homage, huh?
Yeah, what the hell?
It's been a while since
I've had the bike out.
Sure, man.
Work's been keeping
me real busy.
Yeah, I hear you, man.
A couple years ago,
I hurt my back.
I couldn't get back on my
wheels for almost 2 weeks.
I made a vow, man.
Whoa, never again.
Well, that's what I
mean, man, you know?
I mean, things come up.
Yeah, priorities, man.
I got this canvas to
keep the sawdust off.
And, well, you
know, like I said,
uh, things come up.
It could use a little work.
I got the front
wheel right here,
and I could polish up the
chrome a little bit.
It would probably
start right up.
Danny…
Danny, man…
You should have called.
They proved it in court,
man, I'm telling you.
Ddt made the osprey
eggshell so thin
that when the mother
osprey sat on her nest,
she broke her own eggs.
Who cares?
Hey, man, no more DDT.
I like DDT.
Is this ecology bag
your latest trip?
Call me fussy, pal.
This is my planet.
Really? We weren't sure.
I'm telling you, you guys are
living too far from the edge.
You want to live on the edge?
Try getting a mortgage
for 30 years.
Yeah, we're twice as
insane as you are.
Hey, you still got
the knack, sis.
Well, some things
you never lose.
And some things you lose
to the wrong person.
Yo!
To youth!
Youth! Youth!
And all the fun and stupidity
that goes along with it.
Give me some
quarters, would you?
Yeah. Wait a minute.
What are you gonna play?
I know what to play.
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
You're gonna play e-9.
What's wrong with e-9?
They're my quarters.
God, do you have to
be such a big baby?
So, jacks.
What you been doing?
I'm a cop.
Cop.
Uh-huh. Since November.
Since November.
Yeah.
You always had a really
out-there sense of humour, man.
What are you talking about?
I don't know, I mean, like…
Like telling me you're a cop.
No, I am.
I'm a policewoman for the
Lanford police force.
So what have you been doing?
Roseanne, what do I
do for a living?
You better not drink no more.
No, look.
There. That's my badge, ok?
Now you believe me?
Or you still think I'm
messing with your mind, man?
Ooh.
What is so damn funny?
Why can't you just accept
what I'm telling you?
I'm a cop. I went
to the academy.
You're a cop. Went
to the academy.
In Springfield.
Ooh, Springfield.
I busted my tail for six weeks.
6 weeks!
I can pick up a man and
throw him against the wall!
Do it!
Because I'm a policewoman!
Right! That's what I do!
Woman! Yeah!
You got this down on
Russ street, right?
Whoa!
Now do you believe me?
Great.
Great!
Want to play pool?
Sure.
Here's the keys in case
you want to uncuff him.
What did I ever see in that guy?
I don't know. I think you kept
your eyes closed all the time.
What is it with guys
on motorcycles?
Well, speaking as a young girl,
you know for certain
that's the one thing
that's really gonna
freak your parents out.
And that is a big plus.
Big plus.
God, you know, but I
just used to love
riding on that thing with Dan.
I mean, just that
feeling, you know?
It was like Danger
and freedom and sex
and it was all
rolled up into one.
He used to come and
pick me up on his bike
and we would just blast
off and hit the highway.
We'd just be flying.
God, it was so much fun.
Yeah.
I really miss that.
Danny, be straight with me, man.
I mean, hey, come on,
just because we haven't
seen each other
for 20 years doesn't mean
I'm not still your best friend.
What happened to you, man?
What happened to Rosie?
What happened to
that '55 pan, man?
Hey, man, I got 3 kids.
Yeah, so?
I got 2 kids… And 3 motorcycles.
I'm trying to start a business.
Yeah?
I'm trying to buy a home.
Yeah?
I caved.
Man, I was hoping you
and your old lady
would come packing up to the
sturgis run this summer.
I can't go to sturgis.
Come on, man!
This is the year
to go, you know?
50th anniversary of
the black hills run.
The queen mama.
Everybody and their dog
is gonna be there.
Come on.
We'll trash the Marriott.
Man, you saw the bike.
There's no way.
Don't blame it on the bike, man.
Harley's never die.
Just the owners.
Aw, come on.
I can't.
Fine. Then sell me the bike.
ROSEANNE: Hey, that bike is
the last speck of our youth.
You can't go sell that bike.
Come on, Roseanne, we
don't use it anymore.
Precisely my point. That's
why we gotta keep it.
You know, what's
gotten into you?
I mean, what's this kick
you're all of a sudden on?
Oh, you mean this
wanting to live thing?
Ha ha.
You know, when I was
going out with you, Dan…
And believe it or not,
we did go out all the time…
Make a point, Roseanne.
It's just, you know, I just used
to love the sound of that bike.
I could hear it like a
block away, you know?
And I knew that you were gonna be
coming and showing up any second.
That bike was like my favourite
sound in the entire world.
That bike's where
we fell in love.
Oh, we're still in love.
We don't need no
bike to be in love.
Yeah, but, I mean, when we
were riding on that bike, Dan,
we were free.
Baby, that's not us anymore.
Yeah, no kidding.
We are as dusty and old
as that bike itself.
Come on, Roseanne.
It's true, Dan. Nobody ever comes
and takes us out for a spin.
Spin? When do we have time
to go out for a spin?
Well, we don't even
do nothing anymore.
I mean, we don't travel.
We don't do nothing. We
lock ourselves up here
in the living room
in front of the TV,
and then we go to work.
I mean, we used to
be Dan and Roseanne.
We're still Dan and Roseanne.
No, we're not.
We're the Conners,
like the bells and the
Hacketts and the Joneses.
I like being the Conners.
Don't sell the bike.
I love that bike
as much as you do.
But right now it's
a piece of junk
and it's taking up
a lot of space,
and we need the money.
And wouldn't you rather be Dan
and Roseanne in the black?
Geezer!
ROSEANNE: He's in here, Zzg.
Ziggy's here to
pick up the bike.
Yeah, I was just looking
for stock parts. Hey, Zzg.
I found the fenders
and the fat bob tank.
I couldn't find the cap.
No problem.
Well, I wanna make sure
you get everything I got.
Yeah. Great.
This ok with you, Rosie?
I mean, you know I'll take
real good care of her, right?
Yeah.
Hey, baby…
Remember this?
Yeah.
Ok, I, uh…
I made this out for
half the amount.
And then I wrote one out
for the other half.
It'll be good in 3 weeks.
Ok?
I can't do it.
I can't sell you the bike.
I thought I could.
I can't sell it.
It's too much of my past.
Forget the past, man!
I'm not gonna sell you
the bike, that's all.
Fine, ok? I'm not saying
you should sell me the bike.
That's great. Cool.
Don't sell me the bike.
But don't do it 'cause you're
hanging on to the past, man.
Do it 'cause you're gonna
get back on it, ok?
You've been riding
that sofa too long.
I'm not a teenager in
high school anymore!
Hey, neither am I, man, ok?!
I haven't been in study
hall for… 20 years.
Man, I'm talking about
shutting down inside.
You don't get dust
on the fenders
until you shut off the engine.
Well, what do you
think it would take
to get her going again?
A phone call to my old lady
saying I'll be another few days.
What about work, man?
I thought you had to
get back to work.
[IMITATES JOHN WAYNE] Well, that was
before I had a bike to rebuild.
Hey.
I appreciate this.
Hey…
Priorities, man.
Come on, D.J., come on.
You'd think they were unveiling
the statue of liberty.
This better than the
statue of liberty.
Yeah. It moves.
Rosie!
Mrs. Conner is
wearing her original
1971 Riibell's leather jacket,
accented on the yoke
by leather and silver,
purchased with the money she
stole from her mother's purse.
Nice threads.
Why, thank you.
Well, let's see it!
Ladies and gentlemen,
members of the press,
distinguished scientists,
NASA members,
members of my family,
I'm proud to present
the seed of passion
on which this
family was founded.
Check it out.
Ow!
Holy!
Oh, Dan.
Can we sit on it?
Get away from there!
Honey, I want you to sit on it.
Oh, yeah! Yes!
Wahoo!
Ooh-la-la.
Nice jacket-ah.
All right. The shocks held.
Hey, Roseanne…
You want a ride home?
Oh, my folks don't allow me
to ride on motorcycles.
I mean, hey, man,
don't let your ancestors
bum your trip.
I'm not sure that I should.
Well…
Take a chance.
You'll be with me.
Uh, what are you rebelling
against, Danny?
What do you got?
♪ Get your motor runnin' ♪
♪ Head out on the highway ♪
♪ Lookin' for adventure ♪
♪ And whatever comes our way ♪
♪ You're gonna… Gonna
make it happen ♪
♪ Take the world in
a love embrace ♪
♪ Fire all of your
guns at once, and ♪
♪ Explode into space ♪
♪ Like a true nature's child ♪
♪ We were born,
born to be wild ♪
♪ We could climb so high ♪
♪ Never wanna die ♪
♪ Born to be wild ♪
♪ Born to be wild ♪
and we'll go do something?
Why don't you go do
something with Dan?
I already did
something with Dan.
We got out of bed.
I thought you and Dan were gonna
go over to Phil and Vonda's.
No, I don't think
we're gonna go.
Why not?
'Cause he has about 50
games he wants to watch,
and then D.J. Has Joey over.
Well, so, maybe you
could go later,
after Becky gets
back from the mall.
Duh!
Hey, Jackie.
Nice crease.
Bye, mom.
Where are you going?
Out.
Can I go with you?
Oh, please.
Dan, we could, um, go over
to Phil and Vonda's later on.
I don't know. [TV ON]
Who's this party for, anyway?
Well, what difference
does it make?
It's people.
It's a chance to get
out of the house.
Come on, play defence!
Is that what you're
gonna do all day?
Just sit here and watch sports?
Pretty much.
Well, Phil and Vonda
don't live that far.
I mean, I promise you won't
have to be on your feet
more than two minutes.
Phil and Vonda have
a TV set, too.
Yeah…
They got an iron, too.
Why don't you go over there?
I'm going to work. I'll see you later.
Are you gonna be here?
For the rest of my life.
[DOOR CLOSES]
I'm back!
These guys are so bad,
it's unbelievable.
Do you want me to mend these
or just toss 'em out?
Yeah, honey, would you fix 'em?
I wanna keep 'em.
Do you want me to fix this
so you can wear it, too?
Yeah, honey. It's my favourite.
[ENGINE REVVING]
Dad, there's a guy outside
petting a motorcycle.
Oh, let me.
Oh, my god!
You're not going to believe this.
Get over here.
Hey.
Hey!
Hey, what?
No bikers allowed, man!
Ziggy!
[GROWLING]
Aah! Aah!
Oh, man. Yeah!
Whoa!
Whoa.
You guys got…
Big.
Not really. It's just
a very small house.
What brings you back here, man?
Come back to find yourself?
Hey, man, I never lost it.
Well, that's your opinion.
So what brings you
back to Lanford?
Oh, we're laying a
fibre optic cable
right through the
centre of town.
Mom, whose motorcycle's
in our front yard?
Whoa. Who are these kids?
They came with the house.
Wow! I had to make mine.
You got kids?
Yeah, 2 boys.
No. Yeah.
Checked them at birth.
They're boys.
How come you didn't invite
us to your wedding?
What wedding?
Aren't you married?
Nah! No. We talk
about it sometimes,
but the kids are against it.
I can see why.
And what's your name?
Darlene.
Ooh, I dig it.
You named her after
the mouseketeer.
What?!
Is that true?
Of course that's not true.
You got to meet our son.
Cubby!
Annette, right?
Becky.
Hi, Becky.
Ziggy Walsh.
Hi.
[IMITATES MACHINE-GUN FIRE]
Whoa! Look out!
This is D.J. Say hello to ziggy.
Hello, ziggy.
Perfect. You can go now.
That's the lad.
So how's it feel to
be back in Lanford?
It's weird, man. I
mean, I made the whole
main street/ Lanford
avenue loop.
You know, drove by
the high school,
drove by cook's.
I mean, like, absolutely
nothing's changed.
I mean, even those
rail road tracks
behind the supermarket
that run right into
the cement wall.
In my opinion,
the perfect metaphor
for Lanford.
Have you ever killed anyone?
Check it out, man.
'71. Lookout point.
That's when yor introduced me
to the Harris sisters.
Yor? Yor?
That's your dad.
Yor!
Yor?! Yor?!
Yor! Yeah.
You little chicks got
a problem with that?
I called Jackie.
She's gonna meet us
later so we can go out.
Ok, great. I thought we
might spring for a meal
at the Lanford inn, but
you gotta wear a tie.
Sorry.
Danny, let's you and me just
go over to the lobo, huh?
Hey, what about me?
What about you?
You're not leaving me here
while you two go out and
guy around, Norbert.
Norbert? Norbert?
I don't respond to that name.
Does your mom still
call you Norbie?
Hey, man, how do you
live with this chick?
I have to. I'm married to her.
You guys got married?
You were in the wedding.
Right!
Ok, Rosie, you're going with us.
See, like I said,
nothing's changed.
Check it out, lady.
'71. Your man.
Where was I?
Honey, the idea of you isn't
even in this picture.
You look pretty cool, here, yor.
Whose bike?
Mine.
Dig those funky bellbottoms.
Ugh!
Amazing, man, she's
just like you.
I am not. I'm nothing like her.
See what I mean?
Honey, you are no more like me
than I am like my mother.
Oh, god.
Hey, Zzg, can we go
look at your Honda?
My what?
My what?!
Pumpkin, it's a Harley.
It is a heritage soft tail…
The new evolution engine,
the blockhead that is
80, 8-o, cubic inches
of bone-shaking power…
Annette.
Becky, not a Honda.
Harley.
Can you say Harley?
I know that you can.
Apologise to the zigmeister.
Sorry…
Zigmeister.
It's ok.
Once you get on one, you'll
know the difference.
And guess what, honey? That will
never happen in my lifetime.
Can we go sit on it?
No. No.
We'll just look.
Ok, but not too hard.
Becky, you watch your brother and
sister while we're gone, ok,
but not too hard.
Hey, Danny.
Whatever happened to
that '55 pan of yours?
What are you talking about, man?
It's out in the garage.
How's it holding up?
Pretty good.
Oh, man, now that was
a beautiful bike.
I mean, you had it
tricked out real cherry.
That bike's a classic.
We better get to lobo
before it gets too crowded!
Hey, come on, I just gotta take
a look at it before we go.
Just to pay homage, huh?
Yeah, what the hell?
It's been a while since
I've had the bike out.
Sure, man.
Work's been keeping
me real busy.
Yeah, I hear you, man.
A couple years ago,
I hurt my back.
I couldn't get back on my
wheels for almost 2 weeks.
I made a vow, man.
Whoa, never again.
Well, that's what I
mean, man, you know?
I mean, things come up.
Yeah, priorities, man.
I got this canvas to
keep the sawdust off.
And, well, you
know, like I said,
uh, things come up.
It could use a little work.
I got the front
wheel right here,
and I could polish up the
chrome a little bit.
It would probably
start right up.
Danny…
Danny, man…
You should have called.
They proved it in court,
man, I'm telling you.
Ddt made the osprey
eggshell so thin
that when the mother
osprey sat on her nest,
she broke her own eggs.
Who cares?
Hey, man, no more DDT.
I like DDT.
Is this ecology bag
your latest trip?
Call me fussy, pal.
This is my planet.
Really? We weren't sure.
I'm telling you, you guys are
living too far from the edge.
You want to live on the edge?
Try getting a mortgage
for 30 years.
Yeah, we're twice as
insane as you are.
Hey, you still got
the knack, sis.
Well, some things
you never lose.
And some things you lose
to the wrong person.
Yo!
To youth!
Youth! Youth!
And all the fun and stupidity
that goes along with it.
Give me some
quarters, would you?
Yeah. Wait a minute.
What are you gonna play?
I know what to play.
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
You're gonna play e-9.
What's wrong with e-9?
They're my quarters.
God, do you have to
be such a big baby?
So, jacks.
What you been doing?
I'm a cop.
Cop.
Uh-huh. Since November.
Since November.
Yeah.
You always had a really
out-there sense of humour, man.
What are you talking about?
I don't know, I mean, like…
Like telling me you're a cop.
No, I am.
I'm a policewoman for the
Lanford police force.
So what have you been doing?
Roseanne, what do I
do for a living?
You better not drink no more.
No, look.
There. That's my badge, ok?
Now you believe me?
Or you still think I'm
messing with your mind, man?
Ooh.
What is so damn funny?
Why can't you just accept
what I'm telling you?
I'm a cop. I went
to the academy.
You're a cop. Went
to the academy.
In Springfield.
Ooh, Springfield.
I busted my tail for six weeks.
6 weeks!
I can pick up a man and
throw him against the wall!
Do it!
Because I'm a policewoman!
Right! That's what I do!
Woman! Yeah!
You got this down on
Russ street, right?
Whoa!
Now do you believe me?
Great.
Great!
Want to play pool?
Sure.
Here's the keys in case
you want to uncuff him.
What did I ever see in that guy?
I don't know. I think you kept
your eyes closed all the time.
What is it with guys
on motorcycles?
Well, speaking as a young girl,
you know for certain
that's the one thing
that's really gonna
freak your parents out.
And that is a big plus.
Big plus.
God, you know, but I
just used to love
riding on that thing with Dan.
I mean, just that
feeling, you know?
It was like Danger
and freedom and sex
and it was all
rolled up into one.
He used to come and
pick me up on his bike
and we would just blast
off and hit the highway.
We'd just be flying.
God, it was so much fun.
Yeah.
I really miss that.
Danny, be straight with me, man.
I mean, hey, come on,
just because we haven't
seen each other
for 20 years doesn't mean
I'm not still your best friend.
What happened to you, man?
What happened to Rosie?
What happened to
that '55 pan, man?
Hey, man, I got 3 kids.
Yeah, so?
I got 2 kids… And 3 motorcycles.
I'm trying to start a business.
Yeah?
I'm trying to buy a home.
Yeah?
I caved.
Man, I was hoping you
and your old lady
would come packing up to the
sturgis run this summer.
I can't go to sturgis.
Come on, man!
This is the year
to go, you know?
50th anniversary of
the black hills run.
The queen mama.
Everybody and their dog
is gonna be there.
Come on.
We'll trash the Marriott.
Man, you saw the bike.
There's no way.
Don't blame it on the bike, man.
Harley's never die.
Just the owners.
Aw, come on.
I can't.
Fine. Then sell me the bike.
ROSEANNE: Hey, that bike is
the last speck of our youth.
You can't go sell that bike.
Come on, Roseanne, we
don't use it anymore.
Precisely my point. That's
why we gotta keep it.
You know, what's
gotten into you?
I mean, what's this kick
you're all of a sudden on?
Oh, you mean this
wanting to live thing?
Ha ha.
You know, when I was
going out with you, Dan…
And believe it or not,
we did go out all the time…
Make a point, Roseanne.
It's just, you know, I just used
to love the sound of that bike.
I could hear it like a
block away, you know?
And I knew that you were gonna be
coming and showing up any second.
That bike was like my favourite
sound in the entire world.
That bike's where
we fell in love.
Oh, we're still in love.
We don't need no
bike to be in love.
Yeah, but, I mean, when we
were riding on that bike, Dan,
we were free.
Baby, that's not us anymore.
Yeah, no kidding.
We are as dusty and old
as that bike itself.
Come on, Roseanne.
It's true, Dan. Nobody ever comes
and takes us out for a spin.
Spin? When do we have time
to go out for a spin?
Well, we don't even
do nothing anymore.
I mean, we don't travel.
We don't do nothing. We
lock ourselves up here
in the living room
in front of the TV,
and then we go to work.
I mean, we used to
be Dan and Roseanne.
We're still Dan and Roseanne.
No, we're not.
We're the Conners,
like the bells and the
Hacketts and the Joneses.
I like being the Conners.
Don't sell the bike.
I love that bike
as much as you do.
But right now it's
a piece of junk
and it's taking up
a lot of space,
and we need the money.
And wouldn't you rather be Dan
and Roseanne in the black?
Geezer!
ROSEANNE: He's in here, Zzg.
Ziggy's here to
pick up the bike.
Yeah, I was just looking
for stock parts. Hey, Zzg.
I found the fenders
and the fat bob tank.
I couldn't find the cap.
No problem.
Well, I wanna make sure
you get everything I got.
Yeah. Great.
This ok with you, Rosie?
I mean, you know I'll take
real good care of her, right?
Yeah.
Hey, baby…
Remember this?
Yeah.
Ok, I, uh…
I made this out for
half the amount.
And then I wrote one out
for the other half.
It'll be good in 3 weeks.
Ok?
I can't do it.
I can't sell you the bike.
I thought I could.
I can't sell it.
It's too much of my past.
Forget the past, man!
I'm not gonna sell you
the bike, that's all.
Fine, ok? I'm not saying
you should sell me the bike.
That's great. Cool.
Don't sell me the bike.
But don't do it 'cause you're
hanging on to the past, man.
Do it 'cause you're gonna
get back on it, ok?
You've been riding
that sofa too long.
I'm not a teenager in
high school anymore!
Hey, neither am I, man, ok?!
I haven't been in study
hall for… 20 years.
Man, I'm talking about
shutting down inside.
You don't get dust
on the fenders
until you shut off the engine.
Well, what do you
think it would take
to get her going again?
A phone call to my old lady
saying I'll be another few days.
What about work, man?
I thought you had to
get back to work.
[IMITATES JOHN WAYNE] Well, that was
before I had a bike to rebuild.
Hey.
I appreciate this.
Hey…
Priorities, man.
Come on, D.J., come on.
You'd think they were unveiling
the statue of liberty.
This better than the
statue of liberty.
Yeah. It moves.
Rosie!
Mrs. Conner is
wearing her original
1971 Riibell's leather jacket,
accented on the yoke
by leather and silver,
purchased with the money she
stole from her mother's purse.
Nice threads.
Why, thank you.
Well, let's see it!
Ladies and gentlemen,
members of the press,
distinguished scientists,
NASA members,
members of my family,
I'm proud to present
the seed of passion
on which this
family was founded.
Check it out.
Ow!
Holy!
Oh, Dan.
Can we sit on it?
Get away from there!
Honey, I want you to sit on it.
Oh, yeah! Yes!
Wahoo!
Ooh-la-la.
Nice jacket-ah.
All right. The shocks held.
Hey, Roseanne…
You want a ride home?
Oh, my folks don't allow me
to ride on motorcycles.
I mean, hey, man,
don't let your ancestors
bum your trip.
I'm not sure that I should.
Well…
Take a chance.
You'll be with me.
Uh, what are you rebelling
against, Danny?
What do you got?
♪ Get your motor runnin' ♪
♪ Head out on the highway ♪
♪ Lookin' for adventure ♪
♪ And whatever comes our way ♪
♪ You're gonna… Gonna
make it happen ♪
♪ Take the world in
a love embrace ♪
♪ Fire all of your
guns at once, and ♪
♪ Explode into space ♪
♪ Like a true nature's child ♪
♪ We were born,
born to be wild ♪
♪ We could climb so high ♪
♪ Never wanna die ♪
♪ Born to be wild ♪
♪ Born to be wild ♪