Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - PS: Yes, in That Way - full transcript
Strawberry Shortcake solves a robbery, Billy Dee Williams goes shopping, and the creators imagine what happens when Harry introduces his cousin to the Hendersons. Plus G.I. Joe welcomes a new member.
[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
Aaaaaaaaah!
l don't know how to express
my feelings!
l hit my head in the bathroom
and had the inspiration
to draw this!
And how did you...
hit your head in the bathroom,
Doc?
Uhh...
[ grunts ]
[ choking ]
Ohh!
Aah!
Hey, y'all.
Recognize me?
l'm the pen lying on your desk.
We've never been properly
introduced, l guess.
Whoo-hoo!
Boy, oh, boy, l sure do
have a lot of fun
when you're not
around.
Hee-hee-hee!
l have pen pals
all around the world.
l always sign your name, though.
Most of them are underage boys.
What will l do with all those
stacks of letters and photos?
You'll find out soon enough.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
l'm a really good artist.
Here's a picture of your boss
peeing into his own mouth.
Think he'll be mad?
[ train whistle blows ]
Well, nice chattin' with ya.
See you later.
Hey, there!
Wanna make a quick $10?
Yeah. $10.
That's great.
Oh, good!
Stick me up your butt.
Hope you like dysentery.
Hee-hee-hee!
[ screams ]
Help! Help! Help!
Screaming won't do you
any good!
[ laughs evilly ]
The walls are soundproof!
[ pounding on door ]
[ muffled ]
Hello?
Are you okay in there?
l'm calling the police.
[ dial tone, keypad dialing ]
Oh, well.
That's what l get for going with
the lowest soundproofing
estimate.
[ beeping ]
Hello, what have we here?!
Spearmint tic tacs,
three for $1 .
Billy Dee,
this is a red-letter day.
Oh, wow!
Billy Dee Williams!
Hey, l'm a huge fan.
Why, thank you.
Where have you seen my work?
Lady Sings the Blues,
Mahogany,
my episode of
the Jeffersons?
Uh...No, no, no.
''Star Wars, '' l would guess.
Oh, yes.
That's where l play the hero,
Lando Calrissian.
Well, l wouldn't call him
a ''hero'' per se.
He did betray all of his friends
to the Empire.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
The tic tacs need a coupon.
The Empire got there first,
and he had a whole city
of people to protect.
Yeah, but it's working
with the enemy,
like France did after
the Nazis invaded.
No coupon?
They're 99 cents each.
You are comparing
Lando Calrissian
to Marshall Philippe Pétain --
France's greatest traitor?!
l just think he could have
practiced nonviolent resistance
or something.
Even a wink to Han when they
landed would have been nice.
Like,
''[ coughs ] look out.
[ coughs ] Vader, trap.
[ coughs ]''
You know, something.
He's more of a sell-out
than a hero.
No coupon?
Will you wait about the damn
Tic Tacs?!
l'm Billy Dee Fucking Williams,
and l'm tired of people saying
Lando was a fucking traitor!
Fuck you, damn it!
Uh, is there a problem here?
[ laughs ]
No. Oh, my -- ohh.
Hey, l'm sorry, everybody.
[ laughs ]
l'll pay full price
for the Tic Tacs.
Good.
Glad to see Lando showing
some integrity for once.
[ ltalian accent ]
You know, Donkey Kong,
at $137 a barrel,
this is a tremendous a-waste!
[ grunts ]
l keep it a-now.
[ laughs ]
♪ la, la, la, la, la ♪
[ laughs ]
[ girl screams ]
Someone's stolen
my black cherry!
Oh, no, black cherry pie!
Your black cherry is gone?!
Yes!
lt was probably Fudge Turnover.
He loves black cherries.
l'd never take
anyone's black cherry
without their
consent.
Mm...That's not what l heard.
Oh, shut up, bitch pudding!
[ glass breaks ]
[ ltalian accent ]
Son of a bitch!
We're berry, berry mad
at you!
Get the hell off of my lawn,
you stupid bitches!
You stole my black cherry!
[ scoffs ]
Sorry, a-
Honey, l'm into Asian chicks.
[ sniffs ]
What the...
fire?!
Oh, fire!
My valuables!
Ay, mama and Rachael-a-Ray!
Oh, no!
Only time to save a'one of you!
[ whoosh! ]
Aah, you fucking twats!
Yeah!
Look at you!
- Ooh!
- l'll kill you!
l'm not sure how this gets
my black cherry back.
Nobody says a fucking word,
or we all go to Rikers lsland
for a berry, berry, berry
long time!
Hi.
[ chomp! ]
What's up?
My black cherry!
Huckleberry Pie, you asshole!
l can't believe you took my...
[ laughs ]
l heard she left home because
her daddy took her black cherry.
Blam!
You all get a taste of
the bitch pudding!
And now, Afro-Bot...
speak!
[ whirring ]
Where the white women at?
Success.
Success!
Goodbye, Harry.
The Henderson family
will never forget you.
Rarr-rar-rar.
[ birds chirping ]
[ sentimental music plays ]
Rarr.
Err-r-r?
BOTH:
[ gasp ]
Mm...
Err.
Oh.
ls he...
[ grunting ]
Oh, my God.
Okay. Let's go.
Everyone, we're leaving.
Rarr-rar-rar-rar-rar-rar!
Okay.
Uh, uh, everyone,
just stay still.
Maybe he'll leave us alone
when he's done.
Uh, no, we're watching.
We're watching.
Ugh!
[ moaning ]
[ breathing heavily ]
[ grunting intensely ]
[ crying ]
[ splatter! ]
Ohhhhh, God!
Okay? Uh...
Oh, God.
Be brave. Be brave.
lt's okay, kids.
[ sniffs ]
This never happened!
lt never happened!
lf we maintain this velocity,
we should arrive --
[ farts ]
Oh, for the love of God,
Michael.
Hey-hey!
What's the point of having
a talking car
if you can't fart in it?
[ farts, laughs ]
Turbo boost! Ohh!
[ camera shutter clicks ]
[ whoosh! ]
[ shouts in native language ]
[ Asian-themed music plays ]
Hi, l'm Breckin Meyer.
You might remember me.
[ whoosh! ]
You know what this is?
This is $12,000.
[ ka-ching! ]
Now, what would you do --
you know what?
Before you answer that,
let me tell you what our
''co-head writer,'' Doug Goldstein,
did with $12,000.
[ chuckles ]
He bought a time share!
True story!
And, no, no, this isn't 1978,
and Doug isn't a 63-year-old
retiree from Boca!
Check this out.
You still look fat.
Hi-ho!
[ insects buzzing ]
Hey, if flies were nickels...
Am l right?
Their capes are vinyl!
What?
l ran out of chicks.
Am l right?!
lt's outrageous lately!
Handjobs, $5!
Get your handjobs, $5.
Heh-heh!
That's your mom!
[ indistinct conversations ]
Hey, shut the fuck up!
Hannah Montana's the only friend
l need.
[ bones crunch ]
Ow!
What the fuck, man?!
The necklace costs
a blumpkin.
Now say you're a whore.
l am a whore!
[ laughs ]
Yeah, you are!
[ ting! ]
You know, l was raised Jewish,
so this really hurts me.
Can l help you, sir?
Nope.
Warrior need food badly.
Wow, that never gets old.
[ laughter, indistinct talking ]
Attention, Joes.
l'd like to introduce you to our
newest member, Calvin.
Welcome to the team, Calvin.
You can call me Gung-Ho.
Um, actually,
l've never really been
too crazy about
''Calvin.''
So if we could get
to the code-name part
sooner rather
than later...
Ah, will do. Will do.
So, what do we think, gang?
Well, as you can see,
l like to wear black.
And, uh, not to boast,
but l was at the top of my sniper class
at West Point.
So maybe Deadeye,
or how about Killshot?
A-And you know what --
l have a PHd,
so it could be Dr. Killshot!
Huh?
''Paging Dr. Killshot.''
Pa-pow!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[ zing! ]
[ crash! ]
[ laughter ]
Looks like someone
had an accident!
Way to go, Fumbles!
''Fumbles''! That's perfect!
Ah, that settles it!
Welcome to the team, Fumbles!
What?! no, no, no, no.
l'm an insanely talented sniper.
l'm a doctor, for God's sake.
Did everyone hear that?
lt's Dr. Fumbles.
[ laughter ]
l think we should cancel our
''who's gonna fuck
the new guy first?'' contest.
No, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait!
Not -- not Fumbles!
Come on, you could call me --
you could call me Sureshot or,
uh, Triggerman!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[ zing! ]
[ crash! ]
[ laughter ]
That is some
classic Fumbles there!
[ alarm blaring ]
Enough fun, Joes.
Cobra's on the move.
Fumbles, l want this mess
cleaned up
by the time we get back.
[ laughter ]
No.
Fuck this!
No, l quit!
Welcome to Cobra, Calvin.
You need a code name,
and, my, those are some fancy
trousers you're wearing.
l shall call you...
Trousersnake.
Heh, l don't even care
anymore.
Go, Joe!
ALL:
Go, Joe!
Wind -- 3.8 miles southwest.
Mark velocity --
7.8 kilometers per hour.
What's -- what's hap--
My God.
l don't even hear the shots.
[ parrot squawks ]
For the love of all that's holy,
get behind a tank!
[ sputters, coughs ]
[ metal unsheathes ]
[ whish! Whish! ]
[ bullet zings ]
l don't want to die!
l don't want to die!
Hey, Gung-Ho.
Hold that thought.
[ bullet zings ]
[ whish! Splat! ]
Ooh-ooh-ooh.
Fumble.
[ wailing ]
[ bullet zings ]
[ eagle screams ]
[ bullet zings ]
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
ls -- is he gone?
[ bullet zings ]
[ splat! ]
You motherfucker!
You killed everything l love!
Take me, too!
Take me, too!
No.
No, you live with it.
Wow, uh, great job, uh,
Trousersnake.
lt's Fumbles.
lt was always Fumbles.
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
l just want to be clear here.
l'm not saying Lando's perfect,
but who is?
Am l right?
l'm just saying it wasn't
an easy decision to make.
Remember Schindler's List?
Same thing.
''One to save millions.''
''One to save millions.''
Saved Leia and Chewie when Vader
altered the deal, right?
Nobody mentions that one,
do they?
Went undercover for months
in Jabba's palace
to save Han, huh?
¿No recuerdo?
Blew up the second death star
with the pancake kid!
l'm a fucking hero, man!
l'm not saying l need a street
named after me,
but it wouldn't
hurt to throw a penny
into a Calrissian wish fountain
every now and then!
You know what l'd wish for?
Peace and love, baby.
Peace and love.
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
Aaaaaaaaah!
l don't know how to express
my feelings!
l hit my head in the bathroom
and had the inspiration
to draw this!
And how did you...
hit your head in the bathroom,
Doc?
Uhh...
[ grunts ]
[ choking ]
Ohh!
Aah!
Hey, y'all.
Recognize me?
l'm the pen lying on your desk.
We've never been properly
introduced, l guess.
Whoo-hoo!
Boy, oh, boy, l sure do
have a lot of fun
when you're not
around.
Hee-hee-hee!
l have pen pals
all around the world.
l always sign your name, though.
Most of them are underage boys.
What will l do with all those
stacks of letters and photos?
You'll find out soon enough.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
l'm a really good artist.
Here's a picture of your boss
peeing into his own mouth.
Think he'll be mad?
[ train whistle blows ]
Well, nice chattin' with ya.
See you later.
Hey, there!
Wanna make a quick $10?
Yeah. $10.
That's great.
Oh, good!
Stick me up your butt.
Hope you like dysentery.
Hee-hee-hee!
[ screams ]
Help! Help! Help!
Screaming won't do you
any good!
[ laughs evilly ]
The walls are soundproof!
[ pounding on door ]
[ muffled ]
Hello?
Are you okay in there?
l'm calling the police.
[ dial tone, keypad dialing ]
Oh, well.
That's what l get for going with
the lowest soundproofing
estimate.
[ beeping ]
Hello, what have we here?!
Spearmint tic tacs,
three for $1 .
Billy Dee,
this is a red-letter day.
Oh, wow!
Billy Dee Williams!
Hey, l'm a huge fan.
Why, thank you.
Where have you seen my work?
Lady Sings the Blues,
Mahogany,
my episode of
the Jeffersons?
Uh...No, no, no.
''Star Wars, '' l would guess.
Oh, yes.
That's where l play the hero,
Lando Calrissian.
Well, l wouldn't call him
a ''hero'' per se.
He did betray all of his friends
to the Empire.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
The tic tacs need a coupon.
The Empire got there first,
and he had a whole city
of people to protect.
Yeah, but it's working
with the enemy,
like France did after
the Nazis invaded.
No coupon?
They're 99 cents each.
You are comparing
Lando Calrissian
to Marshall Philippe Pétain --
France's greatest traitor?!
l just think he could have
practiced nonviolent resistance
or something.
Even a wink to Han when they
landed would have been nice.
Like,
''[ coughs ] look out.
[ coughs ] Vader, trap.
[ coughs ]''
You know, something.
He's more of a sell-out
than a hero.
No coupon?
Will you wait about the damn
Tic Tacs?!
l'm Billy Dee Fucking Williams,
and l'm tired of people saying
Lando was a fucking traitor!
Fuck you, damn it!
Uh, is there a problem here?
[ laughs ]
No. Oh, my -- ohh.
Hey, l'm sorry, everybody.
[ laughs ]
l'll pay full price
for the Tic Tacs.
Good.
Glad to see Lando showing
some integrity for once.
[ ltalian accent ]
You know, Donkey Kong,
at $137 a barrel,
this is a tremendous a-waste!
[ grunts ]
l keep it a-now.
[ laughs ]
♪ la, la, la, la, la ♪
[ laughs ]
[ girl screams ]
Someone's stolen
my black cherry!
Oh, no, black cherry pie!
Your black cherry is gone?!
Yes!
lt was probably Fudge Turnover.
He loves black cherries.
l'd never take
anyone's black cherry
without their
consent.
Mm...That's not what l heard.
Oh, shut up, bitch pudding!
[ glass breaks ]
[ ltalian accent ]
Son of a bitch!
We're berry, berry mad
at you!
Get the hell off of my lawn,
you stupid bitches!
You stole my black cherry!
[ scoffs ]
Sorry, a-
Honey, l'm into Asian chicks.
[ sniffs ]
What the...
fire?!
Oh, fire!
My valuables!
Ay, mama and Rachael-a-Ray!
Oh, no!
Only time to save a'one of you!
[ whoosh! ]
Aah, you fucking twats!
Yeah!
Look at you!
- Ooh!
- l'll kill you!
l'm not sure how this gets
my black cherry back.
Nobody says a fucking word,
or we all go to Rikers lsland
for a berry, berry, berry
long time!
Hi.
[ chomp! ]
What's up?
My black cherry!
Huckleberry Pie, you asshole!
l can't believe you took my...
[ laughs ]
l heard she left home because
her daddy took her black cherry.
Blam!
You all get a taste of
the bitch pudding!
And now, Afro-Bot...
speak!
[ whirring ]
Where the white women at?
Success.
Success!
Goodbye, Harry.
The Henderson family
will never forget you.
Rarr-rar-rar.
[ birds chirping ]
[ sentimental music plays ]
Rarr.
Err-r-r?
BOTH:
[ gasp ]
Mm...
Err.
Oh.
ls he...
[ grunting ]
Oh, my God.
Okay. Let's go.
Everyone, we're leaving.
Rarr-rar-rar-rar-rar-rar!
Okay.
Uh, uh, everyone,
just stay still.
Maybe he'll leave us alone
when he's done.
Uh, no, we're watching.
We're watching.
Ugh!
[ moaning ]
[ breathing heavily ]
[ grunting intensely ]
[ crying ]
[ splatter! ]
Ohhhhh, God!
Okay? Uh...
Oh, God.
Be brave. Be brave.
lt's okay, kids.
[ sniffs ]
This never happened!
lt never happened!
lf we maintain this velocity,
we should arrive --
[ farts ]
Oh, for the love of God,
Michael.
Hey-hey!
What's the point of having
a talking car
if you can't fart in it?
[ farts, laughs ]
Turbo boost! Ohh!
[ camera shutter clicks ]
[ whoosh! ]
[ shouts in native language ]
[ Asian-themed music plays ]
Hi, l'm Breckin Meyer.
You might remember me.
[ whoosh! ]
You know what this is?
This is $12,000.
[ ka-ching! ]
Now, what would you do --
you know what?
Before you answer that,
let me tell you what our
''co-head writer,'' Doug Goldstein,
did with $12,000.
[ chuckles ]
He bought a time share!
True story!
And, no, no, this isn't 1978,
and Doug isn't a 63-year-old
retiree from Boca!
Check this out.
You still look fat.
Hi-ho!
[ insects buzzing ]
Hey, if flies were nickels...
Am l right?
Their capes are vinyl!
What?
l ran out of chicks.
Am l right?!
lt's outrageous lately!
Handjobs, $5!
Get your handjobs, $5.
Heh-heh!
That's your mom!
[ indistinct conversations ]
Hey, shut the fuck up!
Hannah Montana's the only friend
l need.
[ bones crunch ]
Ow!
What the fuck, man?!
The necklace costs
a blumpkin.
Now say you're a whore.
l am a whore!
[ laughs ]
Yeah, you are!
[ ting! ]
You know, l was raised Jewish,
so this really hurts me.
Can l help you, sir?
Nope.
Warrior need food badly.
Wow, that never gets old.
[ laughter, indistinct talking ]
Attention, Joes.
l'd like to introduce you to our
newest member, Calvin.
Welcome to the team, Calvin.
You can call me Gung-Ho.
Um, actually,
l've never really been
too crazy about
''Calvin.''
So if we could get
to the code-name part
sooner rather
than later...
Ah, will do. Will do.
So, what do we think, gang?
Well, as you can see,
l like to wear black.
And, uh, not to boast,
but l was at the top of my sniper class
at West Point.
So maybe Deadeye,
or how about Killshot?
A-And you know what --
l have a PHd,
so it could be Dr. Killshot!
Huh?
''Paging Dr. Killshot.''
Pa-pow!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[ zing! ]
[ crash! ]
[ laughter ]
Looks like someone
had an accident!
Way to go, Fumbles!
''Fumbles''! That's perfect!
Ah, that settles it!
Welcome to the team, Fumbles!
What?! no, no, no, no.
l'm an insanely talented sniper.
l'm a doctor, for God's sake.
Did everyone hear that?
lt's Dr. Fumbles.
[ laughter ]
l think we should cancel our
''who's gonna fuck
the new guy first?'' contest.
No, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait!
Not -- not Fumbles!
Come on, you could call me --
you could call me Sureshot or,
uh, Triggerman!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[ zing! ]
[ crash! ]
[ laughter ]
That is some
classic Fumbles there!
[ alarm blaring ]
Enough fun, Joes.
Cobra's on the move.
Fumbles, l want this mess
cleaned up
by the time we get back.
[ laughter ]
No.
Fuck this!
No, l quit!
Welcome to Cobra, Calvin.
You need a code name,
and, my, those are some fancy
trousers you're wearing.
l shall call you...
Trousersnake.
Heh, l don't even care
anymore.
Go, Joe!
ALL:
Go, Joe!
Wind -- 3.8 miles southwest.
Mark velocity --
7.8 kilometers per hour.
What's -- what's hap--
My God.
l don't even hear the shots.
[ parrot squawks ]
For the love of all that's holy,
get behind a tank!
[ sputters, coughs ]
[ metal unsheathes ]
[ whish! Whish! ]
[ bullet zings ]
l don't want to die!
l don't want to die!
Hey, Gung-Ho.
Hold that thought.
[ bullet zings ]
[ whish! Splat! ]
Ooh-ooh-ooh.
Fumble.
[ wailing ]
[ bullet zings ]
[ eagle screams ]
[ bullet zings ]
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
ls -- is he gone?
[ bullet zings ]
[ splat! ]
You motherfucker!
You killed everything l love!
Take me, too!
Take me, too!
No.
No, you live with it.
Wow, uh, great job, uh,
Trousersnake.
lt's Fumbles.
lt was always Fumbles.
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
l just want to be clear here.
l'm not saying Lando's perfect,
but who is?
Am l right?
l'm just saying it wasn't
an easy decision to make.
Remember Schindler's List?
Same thing.
''One to save millions.''
''One to save millions.''
Saved Leia and Chewie when Vader
altered the deal, right?
Nobody mentions that one,
do they?
Went undercover for months
in Jabba's palace
to save Han, huh?
¿No recuerdo?
Blew up the second death star
with the pancake kid!
l'm a fucking hero, man!
l'm not saying l need a street
named after me,
but it wouldn't
hurt to throw a penny
into a Calrissian wish fountain
every now and then!
You know what l'd wish for?
Peace and love, baby.
Peace and love.