Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 4, Episode 17 - Cannot Be Erased, So Sorry - full transcript
The creators imagine what the Humping Robot would look like on the big screen. John Connor tests out the new Terminator. Fantasy Island lives up to its name. The Nerd lands somewhere over the rainbow.
[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
[ laughing ]
[ cracks knuckles ]
[ playing piano ]
ANNOUNCER:
Winner of the Palme D'Or at
the Cannes Film Festival,
Daniel Day-Lewis is,
The Humping Robot.
From the moment l was engineered
l knew l was a...
different kind of robot.
l don't care if l rust.
l just want love.
ANNOUNCER:
And Kate Winslet as,
The Washing Machine.
l want to be honest with you
Marianne,
l didn't come here
to do my laundry.
Well, what did you come for then?
[ kissing ]
[ moaning ]
- Yes!
- Oh darling!
- Oh, yes, l'm Frank Logan!
- Oh yes darling, oh yes!
lt should be wrong
but it feels so right.
l'm sorry it's medically
impossible
for a robot and a washing
machine to have children.
[ crying ]
l--l--
No!
ANNOUNCER:
New York Times says...
Day-Lewis is a Tour de force.
Oh!
ANNOUNCER:
The Los Angeles Times raves...
The Humping Robot
Thrusting into your face this
summer.
[ rattling ]
[ honks ]
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Venture ♪
♪ Action ♪
♪ Excitement ♪
♪ Venture ♪
♪ Hearts race ♪
♪ Palms sweat ♪
♪ Might explode ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Such sites,
you have never seen ♪
♪ Wonderment, and magic ♪
♪ Even if imaginations could not
comprehend it ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
Hey man, what you in for?
John, this is Cameron.
Your new Terminator.
- Wow.
- She'll follow your commands.
Defend you from danger,
and never, ever quit.
Understood mom,
l'll take her on a test run to
determine her full capabilities.
- [ laughing ]
- Video memory full.
What did you say?
l said my vagina's bleeding.
Oh, oh.
Oh look everybody here comes cry
baby, Johnny.
You want another wedgie
cry-baby?
Why don't you cry it off.
[ gibberish ]
Ah, ah!
Ahhhh!
Ah!
You're so hot.
Just one last system to check
out mom.
Hmm.
Yeah! Hmm!
Oh!
Just like a real girl.
- Say it!
- Come with me if you want to live.
Yes!
Yes!
Oh!
[ rattling ]
[ horn ]
[ sirens ]
CASHlER:
Care to try a bonus meal?
No!
[ slurring ]
Why ask that as if you could
influence my decision?
Right before l order?
CASHlER:
What would you like, sir?
[ slurring ]
Yes, l'll have a small Sprite and--
CASHlER:
Could you repeat that l'm
getting a hissing noise.
[ hissing ]
l said, l'll have a small Sprite and--
CASHlER:
Could you speak more clearly sir?
Uhh!
Tell him l want seven,
supersized special sandwiches.
With sweet and sour sauce.
[ slurring ]
You're all doing this on purpose!
l'll have a hamburger.
Thank you, Sebastian.
- [ whispering ]
- Oh, with a strawberry shake.
Argh!
[ horn beeps ]
Ready to talk Mockingbird?
Ready to talk Mockingbird?
Dah!
l should have seen that coming.
Scout!
See if the coast is clear.
Coast is clear Finch.
Good.
'Cause l'm about to kill a
Mockingbird.
Uh! Uhh!
Jim!
Jim!
Use your gem stones!
Ahh!
BOTH:
Yeah!
And that's my book report on how
to Kill a Mockingbird
by Lee Harper Oswald or whoever.
Couldn't even spring
for the Cliffs Notes, huh?
Smiles everyone, smile.
Our guest are here to have their
fantasies come true.
l trust your flight was
enjoyable.
Yeah! lt was great.
Uhm,
enough with the chit-chat though
when do l get to fuck a donkey?
l-- l--
beg your pardon?
When do l get to fuck a donkey?
Surely you have another fantasy
you'd like to--
No, no, you gonna make it happen
or am l gonna kick your ass?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- My fantasy is to kick his ass.
- What?
Yeah, l want to beat the mother fucking
shit out of your foreign ass head.
That's my fantasy.
- No, no, no, no.
Your fantasies are suppose to
involve an--
an identical twin or a family member
brought back to life for a day.
lmagine being the president of
your own country.
Does that midget do anal?
Sí, yes l do.
- Uhm, like hey, dad?
- Yeah?
l've got to ask you something
like real personal.
Okay.
Do you douche?
l sure do.
But only with Maximum Douche.
Why Maximum Douche?
lt's the only douche for men,
and it keeps my douche factor
going all day long.
♪ Talking 'bout the Maximum
Douche ♪
♪ Douche into the Maximum ♪
♪ Don't settle
for minimum douche ♪
♪ You got to be the maximum
douche ♪
Hey thanks, dad!
Don't be a homo.
Maximum Douche, it puts being a
douche in the bag.
[ gasp]
Uh, where's my inhaler.
Saving inhaler.
[ horn ]
Man l wish l could visit
the land of Oz.
That would be so cool.
So cool.
Actually it would be much cooler
to visit a topless beach in
France.
That would be so cool.
So cool.
[ French music ]
Hello French boobies!
Oh dang it.
Put on these ruby slippers and
follow the yellow brick road.
Uhm, you have any roads that go
to topless beaches?
Perhaps there are topless
beaches at the Emerald City.
But, but probably not.
Can l tap these shoes together
three times and wish to--
BOTH:
...go to a topless beach?
No, the story don't work that
way kid.
Here l am having an adventure in
the land of Oz.
Yay.
Well, hiya.
My head is stuffed with straw.
Yeah, hi,
that's pretty neat l guess.
What, this is my dream.
So if l want it to be super cool
all l have to do is dream it.
Be super cool.
Be super cool.
Be super cool.
Be it.
l seek vengeance.
Yes!
lf l only had a heart.
Take mine, its brought me
nothing but pain.
Hang on, let me try something.
Be super cool.
Lets transform and roll out.
And stomp a mudhole in some
Decepticon ass
So hard that we won't stop until we're
wearing socks made of dried shit.
Oh, yes!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Going a long with my friends ♪
[ roars ]
l'm just a big old coward--
Be super cool.
l am Lion-O,
leader of the Thundercats.
Oh! Oh!
[ laughs ]
Oh, l must have those ruby
slippers.
Shh, chicks and shoes.
Am l right fellows?
Ha?
Flying monkeys, bring me
the nerd and his pathetic friends.
Oh yeah!
What the fuck?!
Did someone order
some ruby slippers?
[ laughing ]
Ok fellas take it easy.
'Cause here's a special
delivery.
ALL:
Right up your ass!
Get them!
Thunder.
Thunder.
Thundercats!
Hooo!
Uh! Ohh!
Can't quiet reach them.
Keep saying thunder.
Thunder, thunder, thunder,
thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder!
[ laughing ]
Yeah!
Thunder, thunder, thunder.
They're too fast.
Just transform.
Trust me.
[ laughing]
Well that's just prime.
Your magically appearing
trailer irritated fans of the cartoon,
but now it's your greatest
weapon.
10-4 good buddy.
Yeah!
ln your grill.
From the left.
Ha ha ha,
You'll never win.
lt doesn't matter,
existence is nothing,
but frustration and pain,
everything you love
eventually leaves you.
Misery is your only constant
friend.
You're right.
[ squawk ]
Smash!
[ laughs ]
Oh, come on now fellas.
Yeah, l was just playing around
with that--
Kill them!
Thing.
[ laughs ]
Lets just take it easy.
Well there's only two ways to
kill a wicked witch
and l don't see any falling farm
houses around here.
[ laughing ]
WlTCH:
Oh no!
No,no!
l'm melting.
Melting.
What a world.
There's only one way this dream
could get even better.
ALL:
French boobies!
[ laughing ]
[ French music playing ]
[ French music playing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
[ laughing ]
[ cracks knuckles ]
[ playing piano ]
ANNOUNCER:
Winner of the Palme D'Or at
the Cannes Film Festival,
Daniel Day-Lewis is,
The Humping Robot.
From the moment l was engineered
l knew l was a...
different kind of robot.
l don't care if l rust.
l just want love.
ANNOUNCER:
And Kate Winslet as,
The Washing Machine.
l want to be honest with you
Marianne,
l didn't come here
to do my laundry.
Well, what did you come for then?
[ kissing ]
[ moaning ]
- Yes!
- Oh darling!
- Oh, yes, l'm Frank Logan!
- Oh yes darling, oh yes!
lt should be wrong
but it feels so right.
l'm sorry it's medically
impossible
for a robot and a washing
machine to have children.
[ crying ]
l--l--
No!
ANNOUNCER:
New York Times says...
Day-Lewis is a Tour de force.
Oh!
ANNOUNCER:
The Los Angeles Times raves...
The Humping Robot
Thrusting into your face this
summer.
[ rattling ]
[ honks ]
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Venture ♪
♪ Action ♪
♪ Excitement ♪
♪ Venture ♪
♪ Hearts race ♪
♪ Palms sweat ♪
♪ Might explode ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Such sites,
you have never seen ♪
♪ Wonderment, and magic ♪
♪ Even if imaginations could not
comprehend it ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
♪ Adventure ♪
Hey man, what you in for?
John, this is Cameron.
Your new Terminator.
- Wow.
- She'll follow your commands.
Defend you from danger,
and never, ever quit.
Understood mom,
l'll take her on a test run to
determine her full capabilities.
- [ laughing ]
- Video memory full.
What did you say?
l said my vagina's bleeding.
Oh, oh.
Oh look everybody here comes cry
baby, Johnny.
You want another wedgie
cry-baby?
Why don't you cry it off.
[ gibberish ]
Ah, ah!
Ahhhh!
Ah!
You're so hot.
Just one last system to check
out mom.
Hmm.
Yeah! Hmm!
Oh!
Just like a real girl.
- Say it!
- Come with me if you want to live.
Yes!
Yes!
Oh!
[ rattling ]
[ horn ]
[ sirens ]
CASHlER:
Care to try a bonus meal?
No!
[ slurring ]
Why ask that as if you could
influence my decision?
Right before l order?
CASHlER:
What would you like, sir?
[ slurring ]
Yes, l'll have a small Sprite and--
CASHlER:
Could you repeat that l'm
getting a hissing noise.
[ hissing ]
l said, l'll have a small Sprite and--
CASHlER:
Could you speak more clearly sir?
Uhh!
Tell him l want seven,
supersized special sandwiches.
With sweet and sour sauce.
[ slurring ]
You're all doing this on purpose!
l'll have a hamburger.
Thank you, Sebastian.
- [ whispering ]
- Oh, with a strawberry shake.
Argh!
[ horn beeps ]
Ready to talk Mockingbird?
Ready to talk Mockingbird?
Dah!
l should have seen that coming.
Scout!
See if the coast is clear.
Coast is clear Finch.
Good.
'Cause l'm about to kill a
Mockingbird.
Uh! Uhh!
Jim!
Jim!
Use your gem stones!
Ahh!
BOTH:
Yeah!
And that's my book report on how
to Kill a Mockingbird
by Lee Harper Oswald or whoever.
Couldn't even spring
for the Cliffs Notes, huh?
Smiles everyone, smile.
Our guest are here to have their
fantasies come true.
l trust your flight was
enjoyable.
Yeah! lt was great.
Uhm,
enough with the chit-chat though
when do l get to fuck a donkey?
l-- l--
beg your pardon?
When do l get to fuck a donkey?
Surely you have another fantasy
you'd like to--
No, no, you gonna make it happen
or am l gonna kick your ass?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- My fantasy is to kick his ass.
- What?
Yeah, l want to beat the mother fucking
shit out of your foreign ass head.
That's my fantasy.
- No, no, no, no.
Your fantasies are suppose to
involve an--
an identical twin or a family member
brought back to life for a day.
lmagine being the president of
your own country.
Does that midget do anal?
Sí, yes l do.
- Uhm, like hey, dad?
- Yeah?
l've got to ask you something
like real personal.
Okay.
Do you douche?
l sure do.
But only with Maximum Douche.
Why Maximum Douche?
lt's the only douche for men,
and it keeps my douche factor
going all day long.
♪ Talking 'bout the Maximum
Douche ♪
♪ Douche into the Maximum ♪
♪ Don't settle
for minimum douche ♪
♪ You got to be the maximum
douche ♪
Hey thanks, dad!
Don't be a homo.
Maximum Douche, it puts being a
douche in the bag.
[ gasp]
Uh, where's my inhaler.
Saving inhaler.
[ horn ]
Man l wish l could visit
the land of Oz.
That would be so cool.
So cool.
Actually it would be much cooler
to visit a topless beach in
France.
That would be so cool.
So cool.
[ French music ]
Hello French boobies!
Oh dang it.
Put on these ruby slippers and
follow the yellow brick road.
Uhm, you have any roads that go
to topless beaches?
Perhaps there are topless
beaches at the Emerald City.
But, but probably not.
Can l tap these shoes together
three times and wish to--
BOTH:
...go to a topless beach?
No, the story don't work that
way kid.
Here l am having an adventure in
the land of Oz.
Yay.
Well, hiya.
My head is stuffed with straw.
Yeah, hi,
that's pretty neat l guess.
What, this is my dream.
So if l want it to be super cool
all l have to do is dream it.
Be super cool.
Be super cool.
Be super cool.
Be it.
l seek vengeance.
Yes!
lf l only had a heart.
Take mine, its brought me
nothing but pain.
Hang on, let me try something.
Be super cool.
Lets transform and roll out.
And stomp a mudhole in some
Decepticon ass
So hard that we won't stop until we're
wearing socks made of dried shit.
Oh, yes!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Going a long with my friends ♪
[ roars ]
l'm just a big old coward--
Be super cool.
l am Lion-O,
leader of the Thundercats.
Oh! Oh!
[ laughs ]
Oh, l must have those ruby
slippers.
Shh, chicks and shoes.
Am l right fellows?
Ha?
Flying monkeys, bring me
the nerd and his pathetic friends.
Oh yeah!
What the fuck?!
Did someone order
some ruby slippers?
[ laughing ]
Ok fellas take it easy.
'Cause here's a special
delivery.
ALL:
Right up your ass!
Get them!
Thunder.
Thunder.
Thundercats!
Hooo!
Uh! Ohh!
Can't quiet reach them.
Keep saying thunder.
Thunder, thunder, thunder,
thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder!
[ laughing ]
Yeah!
Thunder, thunder, thunder.
They're too fast.
Just transform.
Trust me.
[ laughing]
Well that's just prime.
Your magically appearing
trailer irritated fans of the cartoon,
but now it's your greatest
weapon.
10-4 good buddy.
Yeah!
ln your grill.
From the left.
Ha ha ha,
You'll never win.
lt doesn't matter,
existence is nothing,
but frustration and pain,
everything you love
eventually leaves you.
Misery is your only constant
friend.
You're right.
[ squawk ]
Smash!
[ laughs ]
Oh, come on now fellas.
Yeah, l was just playing around
with that--
Kill them!
Thing.
[ laughs ]
Lets just take it easy.
Well there's only two ways to
kill a wicked witch
and l don't see any falling farm
houses around here.
[ laughing ]
WlTCH:
Oh no!
No,no!
l'm melting.
Melting.
What a world.
There's only one way this dream
could get even better.
ALL:
French boobies!
[ laughing ]
[ French music playing ]
[ French music playing ]