Richard Hammond's Workshop (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Episode #2.3 - full transcript
RICHARD: This time, our plans to go
classic car racing step up a gear.
Here is the centre of my universe.
Oh, dear!
That's gonna slow things up.
My daughter, Willow, regrets
her choice of driving instructor...
Look roadworks, need to slow down.
There's no-one there! But what
if he stepped... He's an old man.
You're talking to me!
How am I gonna concentrate?
..and at the workshop,
Neil and Mindy try to tackle our
mouse problem.
Oh, my God. I think we're
gonna need a bigger trap.
Fire them up, let's go!
I've fulfilled a lifelong dream.
MAN: This all yours? It's all ours.
I've set up a classic car
restoration business
with automotive wonder family Neil,
Anthony, and Andrew Greenhouse...
(RICHARD GASPS)
ANTHONY: Dad!
..but, it's become a money pit.
Bad, bad, bad.
And if we don't break even soon...
Ten. But the budget's ten!
..there's a chance we may go bust.
It's not going well at all.
So, I've come up
with ambitious new plans.
Welcome to your club.
We've gotta push forward
into the big league.
We're even going racing
to find cars that need our help.
Now wouldn't be the time
to give him a business card.
I'm determined to turn
my lifelong obsession...
Come on, little car.
..into a thriving business.
Will it turn over? No.
(LAUGHING)
Isn't this a good idea?
Bye-bye, dogs.
We need more work through the doors
at The Smallest Cog.
We're just not getting
enough cars to work on,
so, we are not making any money,
and I've had a brilliant idea.
Turn my old MGB GT into a race car,
form a Smallest Cog race team,
and then we can put
our logo all over it,
and appear at race events
all over the country.
And when people crash their
classic cars,
we're there alongside
offering our services,
they already know us.
We launched the idea
at the Classic Car Restoration Show
at the NEC last week
and everybody agreed,
everybody loved the idea,
loved the car.
But, really, that was just the MGB
painted to look like a race car.
Now we need to turn it into one,
and that is gonna be expensive.
It's gonna be more expensive
than I think.
I just know it's gonna be.
Which is why,
I've invited Kamla, accountant,
to have our usual meeting
here at the house
rather than at the Workshop.
Because I don't necessarily want her
spotting
that of late,
we've only really been working
on the MGB
and not on anything
that pays us any money.
She will spot that
and probably be cross.
Right, tidying up.
Hi, Richard. Hello.
Hello.
Sorry for the change of venue.
That's OK.
It's a nice change for me.
It was just the way
the day worked out. Come on in.
Thank you. Step this way.
We'll step up to my office.
It's work in progress.
This looks like a real boy's room.
What do you mean by boy's room?
Scruffy. It's typical boys room.
Yeah, maybe scruffy.
Scruffy, what you're saying.
It needs a feminine touch.
Oh, it doesn't.
It does.
Ignore that, it's a speeding ticket.
A speeding ticket?
Don't worry about it.
So- Firstly, I just wanted to check.
How did it all go at the NEC?
It was brilliant.
I spoke to lots
of other business people...
..and they all agreed.
Yes, that's a great way
of getting business.
It's cheaper than advertising.
And the right audience. Exactly.
And it's more meaningful
than advertising
because if I'm alongside them
on the grid and then they crash,
they'll come to me cos they know
we're part of their world.
It works. Fantastic.
You said the budget was 10,000...
Yeah.
..on the MGB. So, here's a list
of everything we've spent to date.
So, just under 3,000.
So, we still have 7,000 left. Right.
There are some other things
to add to that.
There are.
Do you know roughly how much?
No.
But I mean, it'll be...
There'll be the engine work.
Is that costly?
That could be quite a lot.
Ballpark?
(RICHARD SIGHS)
Ten, 12? Ten! Could be.
But the budget's ten.
I know. we're gonna go over a bit.
A bit!? It's a budget.
But that's 3,000 without labour.
But I'm not paying
for the labour directly.
But to work out
how much this is costing you,
we need to look at the materials,
the labour gone into it,
because those hours are taken away
from billable jobs.
So, I'm not arguing or disagreeing-
Only if they've got billable
jobs to be doing.
But they have, haven't they? Yes.
So?
Look...
Here's the way I look at it.
Think of the great entrepreneurs.
They've had to have a clever idea,
and then back it.
But I imagine, they kept up to date
on all the costs.
I think I pretty much got away
with that.
cos I am gonna stick to my guns.
I'm right.
Get this race team working.
It's the best advert we could have.
It's gonna cost us a bit to get
there and yeah, yeah.
You don't do great things
by giving up
when it gets a bit difficult, do
you?
You don't go broke,
but you don't win through.
How did the NEC job go? All right.
Yeah, what did people think
of the car?
Went down a treat to be honest.
Yeah. Your phone just went off.
Oh!
Who is it? Barry.
I'd sort of half forgot about Barry,
didn't we?
He's all right though.
Not going by this, he ain't.
Barry's a mate of mine. The problem
is, we've had all the rigmarole
of getting this place set up
and in amongst all this
has been Barry's Morris
Eight Series E.
It was only ever a mate's rate job.
We were gonna do it when I had
a few spare hours, get it done.
In all fairness,
people have only got so much,
sort of, how can I put it?
It's like a piece of elastic.
It gets to the end
and then they're just ready to snap.
(PHONE RINGING)
Smallest Cog. Hello,
I'm Barry Rees, sir. Neil knows me.
I wonder whether you've got
my Morris Eight Tourer?
The Morris?
The little grey Morris Eight.
(STUTTERS)
This was taken on a while ago,
wasn't it?
Yes, it's a long time!
He's had it two years.
Has he? I wouldn't mind having it
finished, if that's OK?
Of course, mate. Definitely.
I've just spoken to Barry
on the phone.
He's coming over to see
how it's going.
15 minutes.
We have spent months moving that car
from place to place,
but what we haven't done is
anything to the car.
What can we do in 15 minutes? Hide?
Let Hammond deal with him.
He'll break the ice a bit, won't he?
Hello, mate. Hello, sir.
My car, sir? Yeah.
Obviously, it's not
as far as you would have liked.
To be honest, I did expect to see
a bit of blue on it.
He's a bit loud. When he goes quiet
he's got a problem.
I haven't even really
discussed it with Neil.
See, go and test the water.
You can go first. Oh, no! It's fine.
(LAUGHS)
It was your idea, wasn't it?
Just take a big, deep breath.
I don't know whether Neil put
the first coat of paint on it.
You can ask him cos there he is.
NEIL: Hello, Barry. You OK?
I was just telling about Dad's car.
Yep, she's got a bit of history.
As you can see,
it's nearly finished now.
Can see, it's nearly done.
I like this matte effect.
NEIL: We're gonna go
flat out on it now,
it'll be two to three weeks at most.
I'll guarantee you, won't charge
a penny more than what we said.
OK, well, thank you very much.
But there is £8,000 storage.
Yeah.
You are pushing your luck, you-
BARRY: The kit they've got,
looks to be second to none.
Was a bit worried, I'd
have to be paying a lot more money
than I've actually got.
Does it turn over?
It will turn over, won't it?
This is the old days.
This is Neil's old business
before we set up together.
The longer they spend
talking about the job,
the easier it becomes to understand
why the job never got done.
ANDREW: You had hair then.
NEIL: I had hair.
I had my own teeth.
I was 6 foot 3 inches.
You can't have friends
having thing's done for nothing,
but Barry's been
a really good friend of mine
since school days,
and he hasn't been a very well chap.
How much have you told him
it's going to cost?
To cut a long story short.
You've never done that
in your entire life.
In real terms...
£3,000. Oh, God!
I know, but it's Barry, innit?
I know it's Barry!
I'd love him to have his car back.
But we gotta do it see.
It's a commitment
from the old workshop.
It's a commitment. Gotta do it.
I'll just go and slam
my head repeatedly in the door!
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
It's big day
in the Hammond household.
I am, yet again, taking my life
in my hands in a car,
thanks to a national shortage
of driving instructors.
This would be easier
if you get a driving instructor.
We've tried. It's not my fault.
Oh, look. look, look!
This is exactly what I want.
Turns and junctions, look. Right,
OK.
We'll have a go today
and see how we get on-
I'll get into my test,
they'll go, "What are you doing?"
And I'm like, "Well!"
We haven't discussed my rate yet.
She's cruel, this one.
I'm gonna get just beaten up by her.
Look. Look at that little face.
Look.
I'm on my way.
It's fine. I'm not cold.
No, all right, I had to get
a notepad. Oh, dear.
Have you ever considered
cleaning this?
What's wrong with it? I didn't have
a car this nice until I was 40.
Out of respect,
you could clean it. Begin.
Just give me a minute.
Some of us don't just have
the natural, pah-pah, you know?
Basically,
it's all about observation.
They, ask you questions and stuff.
Well, it's a driving test.
Put your hands at ten to two.
No, it's actually nine and three.
Your hands are at ten and four.
Yeah. Well, your hands are,
well, one of them is on seven.
Is there a car behind us? No. Yeah.
Ah! I was busy looking at a leaf
on the ground.
You're driving a lethal weapon.
Sorry, I'm very tense.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Look, roadworks, need to slow down.
Hazard perception.
Yeah, it's fine.
Ah, slower than that!
There's no-one there!
Much slower than that.
what if he'd stepped out!
You're talking!
How am I gonna concentrate?
He could have wandered out-
Do you want it on your conscience?
How am I gonna concentrate
if you're talking to me?
But most people can manage that.
I can't.
Slow to a gentle halt. I am.
"Wait here!" Sorry, everyone!
It's wait over there!
I'm embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed.
I forgot what I was doing
for a minute. Forgot I was driving.
The problem is-
It's cos you're talking to me.
Don't talk to me cos then
I can't do anything.
Come on, turn green. I'm bored now.
Yes!
Didn't look over your shoulder! No.
I'm really sorry. I'm embarrassed.
That's something I need to work on.
As you've never done it. I used to.
You started coming in the car
with me, never picked me on it.
Can we not be making me
into the problem here?
It's not my fault, you didn't
look over your shoulder.
You literally put yourself
in charge of being my instructor.
Where are we going? Huntley.
Why are we going to Huntley?
To New Hunt Equestrian.
What? Horse stuff?
Boom. Hazard perception.
Right, there.
It's been so long since
we touched it, you've forgotten.
No, I've decided,
I'm having this side.
Oh, you've already taken the...
I think it's horrible both sides.
Good and bad. You've got
the nasty sill to sort out.
start work on Morris. Yes.
So, I'll have to chop rear corner
of that wing cos it's terrible.
There's a nasty repair on my side,
funnily enough.
My earliest memory of this car
would be about 1981.
I think I painted the bonnet
on this. Got a bit of work to do
cos the longer we're working on this
the more money we're losing.
I do get it with Barry's old Morris
cos Neil never wants
to let anybody down.
But, let's be honest,
three grand is about a third
of what that job should cost
and that's not gonna go down
very well with Kamla
when I'm trying to get us
to spend time and money
on getting our race car done.
So, there's only one way to do that.
A little short, fat bloke in
borrowed overalls solution.
First job,
take the engine out
ready for a major overhaul.
On a scale of one to ten, I know
what I'm doing at about four to six,
which is probably the most dangerous
place to be, because I know enough
to get myself into terrible trouble,
but not enough
to get myself out of it.
Ant?
How do I make it go up on the ramp?
Oh, right. Thank you.
There you go, sir.
This shows how often Richard uses
his spanners.
Still got the barcode.
This is the bottom hose now,
which is the bit that comes off
the bottom of the radiator.
But the bottom hose
is a bit of a sod to get off.
(SIGHS)
That is the world's easiest engine
ever to get out,
that's a sort of
kindergarten engine that is.
It's giving two clicks
of the ratchet every time.
That's all I can get.
Enjoying that. He won't need to have
a drink tonight.
He'll sleep cos he's done some work.
A real man for once in his life.
He'll smell of testosterone
and his missus will think
he's a different man.
Engine is out!
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(BIRD CALLING)
Old blue tit. Hello, mate!
I'm very, very lucky to live here.
I'm very lucky
to have got this place.
I do appreciate it.
I try to keep it tidy.
(BIRD CALLING)
My little robin comes out,
usually I feed him.
But he's disappeared into the hedge.
That time of year you see, mating.
This is my own workshop.
I started Barry's car here.
That was a couple of years ago.
I know the bits that I need
to finish it off now are here.
I just hope I haven't lost anything.
I want them anyway...
There we are.
So, I'm not that daft, see?
"Barry's Morris Eight."
There we are. Gaskets.
Perfect, perfect.
This car has been sort of
part of our garage life
for the last 40 years.
Four garages I've had
and that car's been in
every single garage.
I actually bought my engagement ring
out of the money
I earnt off that car.
It's a bit sad in some ways
cos that car was a major part
of Barry's dad's life
and when Barry's dad passed away,
he came in to see me
and asked me if I could drive
that Morris Eight to the crematorium
on his dad's funeral.
Just so that when he pulled up,
that car was waiting for him
to see him off.
So, you see it was something special
with that car.
Not because of value.
It's special because of what it is.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Right now,
this little van has two engines.
It's got the normal one in the
front, then in the back,
I've got the engine
from our MGB race car
and that's because
I am now taking it up north
to put it in the hands of Ric Wood,
who is a specialist,
and I do mean a specialist,
in building race car engines.
He also runs a classic car race
team, so that he gets to know
all the other people
that run race cars
and they bring their work
to his workshop.
So, he is proof
that what I'm setting out to do
is worth doing.
This could be the most important
money we spend on the car.
Only slight worry is the money.
I think the engine could end up
eating most of that.
Race cars already.
Race cars. There is the man.
Hello.
Hi, Richard. How are you?
Nice to see you.
Ah, right. So, this is... Cars. Oh!
1973 Capri.
That's not like my humble MGB.
We can't do that.
Capri 1974.
You do like a Capri, don't you?
That one had 350 horsepower.
That's got just short of 500.
These are big boy toys. I want
to look at where you're going
to rebuild the engine on my
rather more modest MG. Come with me.
Got a question as I'm walking
around.
Are these all like stock
or just old stuff?
Everything you see here
is a job in process
or ready to go out.
What, each of these is a job?
Absolutely. We could keep busy
for three to six months.
Yeah, I'm much the same
at my workshop.
What do you think you could
squeeze out of that little engine?
Given that it's putting out...
What were they putting out new,
the MGB engines?
Was it 90? I think maybe 91.
More than that.
I bloody hope so. More than that.
Realistically in budget terms,
what's the ceiling for what
a person could spend on this?
I'm guessing probably
15 or 18,000. Right.
It's quite a lot
more than the car's worth.
Possibly. It is! It is.
It's the last ten horsepower
that costs you £10,000.
Ah, now that I was expecting.
It's the very last little bit, yes.
But I'll be very disappointed
if you're not right up
in your class.
OK, that's good.
So, I've seen where it's going
and here's what it is.
Do you have a special device
for getting it out? It's heavy.
I've got three of them. Oh, you're
the special devices? Yes.
Right, come on Vita,
the old fashioned way.
Three, two, one.
I would help, but there wasn't room
for me to join in,
to be honest.
there's been some conversation
about rodent infestation.
It's not a great idea
to have mice in a workshop
with valuable vehicles in it
because they quite like
eating upholstery and electrics.
However,
it's quite a tricky subject,
with Neil, because
Neil literally wouldn't hurt a fly.
Hello. Oh, hello.
I just came to see how we're doing
with our rodent issue?
Well, actually, we've been clever
or reasonably clever
and we've set
some little cameras up.
If they come along in the night
and eat something,
at least we'll know...
What we're dealing with.
..what you're dealing with.
I think what's been happening,
they've been coming along
somehow there, cos that's where
the kitchen pipe goes.
Let's go and have a look.
I'll show you where they are.
Interesting times.
You notice though that
the camera is camouflaged.
Reason being that the mice-
Camouflaged!
The mice would- They won't see it.
They won't see it. They'd better...
We'll take it off
and then see
if there's anything there.
We have a look now.
Oh, I don't know. I'm not the best
with technology, but...
Oh, look there's 21 clips on here.
That means, what,
21 times, it's been set off?
Yeah, it's gone off 21 times.
Can you see anything?
I'll just press "OK"
and see what we got.
Oh, my God!
I think we're gonna need
a bigger trap.
MINDY: Richard!
Can I show you something?
Watch this.
Oh, that's a big mouse! Isn't it?
That's a really big mouse.
I don't think, to be honest,
it is a mouse. Wait a minute.
Maybe it's closer than you think.
No, I think that's a rat.
Look, look, there's more than one.
Maybe it's the same one
several times? No.
No, I thought that until I saw...
..that one.
That's an even bigger "Mouse."
That's an enormous mama.
Yeah, "Mama"
being the operative word.
It's pregnant.
That's not anything to celebrate.
Little baby.
We've got a really big problem.
Wait a minute, can't kill the rats.
Neil won't let us, no.
He'll tie himself
to one of those railings.
"Save the rats."
He won't let it happen.
He won't.
We need to solve this though.
There's going to be a lot more rats.
Neil! Neil!
Oh, dear.
In trouble again.
We've got a selection
of humane traps. Oh, right.
Little one for the little mouse.
Yeah.
Bigger one for the bigger ratty
rat, and one for the monsters.
That's the Goldilocks,
the middle one. Yeah.
If we can get a man trap,
we can put that for Richard.
You'd have to be a man
to get in there. Get a mini one.
The big one!
Is this one that does what it says
on the tin? Rat cage. Blimey.
It sounds like it should have
a wheel inside it. Oh, right.
OK. Got the swing. Does it go that
way up, then you put it on the side,
feed it, like,
"Who's a pretty boy then?"
(BOTH LAUGH)
That's nice. Right. OK, hang on.
Something goes on with this then,
does it?
Oh, hello! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Hold on, hold on.
I'm gonna be a rat.
Go on then. Again.
Munchy, munchy- Oh! My tail!
What bait are we gonna stick
in there, cheese?
Bread, biscuits?
Oh, look, look, look.
Look, there's half a sausage bap.
This is like rat and mouse heaven.
That looks like a mechanic trap.
Yeah, it is.
Well, this is the sort of thing
they're used to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew would eat that.
(MINDY LAUGHS)
Ah, progress!
Something's changed on the Morris.
Trying. How's it going?
Getting there.
There's a lot of filler in here,
but it's very thin.
So, it's only just masking
the little tiny imperfections.
Now, don't get cross,
that side's further than your side.
I'm saying Andrew's side
is further than your side.
I was very lucky
that I picked this side.
No, you didn't pick that side.
You bagged that side,
cos you knew this one was bent.
Would you like a cup of tea
or coffee?
A real cup of coffee
or an imaginary one?
It's a real one. I'll have a coffee
with one sugar, please.
It'll be so good to get
that little Morris out the door
because Barry is a long,
long-term mate,
and it'll be lovely to return
that little car to him.
But particularly to be rid of
the bloody thing in my workshop.
WILLOW: After you, my dear.
Cheers, love. Oh, look, your
shoes. Oh, the cat's teddy.
What's it like driving with me
compared to with Dad?
You do tend to sit on the phone
like the entirety of the journey.
You do! Don't lie, you do.
Don't lie.
That's cos I'm relaxed with you.
You tend to panic with the brake.
Whenever I'm coming up to
a roundabout or a junction
you want me to brake
at a mile away. OK, sorry.
I'm perfectly capable. All right.
I passed on my second attempt.
Izzy passed on the second, I think.
Daddy's was second as well actually.
I really wanna pass first time
just so I can rub it in your faces.
Right.
Oh! So... Oh, hello. Hello?
You didn't turn all
your controls off when you stopped.
Probably a fail.
Oh, I don't know how that works!
You need to... Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!
You need to know
where the controls are.
And we're off. Don't kill the hedge.
We're all good.
Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
Manoeuvre?
I did look at my mirror though.
You're driving with more confidence
I'd say.
You're very relaxed when you drive.
Welcome to Ross Vegas.
Why is everyone walking
into the road today?
Yeah, but you were aware of her.
That's good. Hazard perception...
Well done.
Not gonna say you'll pass first time
cos I think that's jinxing it.
I don't see why you wouldn't pass.
Why I want to pass is,
walk in the house and...
Who's the better driver?
Realistically, me!"
Well, we'll know in 24hrs.
NEIL: It's only been two years.
Can't rush a good job.
ANTHONY: Finally.
NEIL: We've got her
pretty straight now.
and bearing in mind when Barry's dad
bought it back in the 1970s,
it had been used in banger racing
and I don't think it won!
(BOTH LAUGH)
I think it lost big time.
ANDREW:
There's no room for mistakes.
Just need to get it off
the gun, finished.
Get it built up.
I took the engine for our race car
up to Ric Wood
to turn it into a race engine.
Great. Really interesting.
But, more interesting still is,
we're already kind of
part of the scene
cos he's now inviting us to go along
and join his race team at Goodwood.
We're gonna spend the day
with a classic car race team
and learn.
Gents...
So, The Goodwood Members' Meeting.
So, that's, like, pretty exclusive.
ANTHONY: Yeah, you can't get in.
Exactly.
I've got us embedded
with a team there.
So, we actually go to the team.
We are alongside them.
Members? Yeah.
And you'll be with their mechanics
in the pits.
That's this weekend.
That's the only slight issue.
It's tomorrow.
No, I'm going.
Cos I've got a wedding to go.
I'll have to break it to the missus.
Have you got your best suit
hanging up ready? Yes.
(ALL LAUGHING)
This Sunday that'll be
in a bin bag at the back door.
OK, you owe me.
I can't believe that.
It's like the Holy Grail
of motor racing to go there,
because they're not
just normal cars.
The cars that they race there,
they've all gotta be proper,
bona fide, genuine classic cars.
You can't have a replica,
pull up there and go race,
got to be the genuine.
So, you're not looking at pretend
racing, it's the real deal.
Goodwood. I can't wait, mate.
I'm absolutely buzzing!
Before the weekend's excitement
can commence,
there's a tense wait
at the Hammond household.
Right. Here's the situation.
Willow is now in her driving test.
It's started.
She's been 35 minutes.
Should I text? No.
Leave her alone. Why?
Not your thing!
If she's failed,
she might not want to say anything.
she might mess with our heads.
This is Willow.
No, she wouldn't do that.
She might. She might.
It's getting close to D-Day now,
isn't it?
Another three minutes
and it'll have been 40.
I'm going to rub my lucky dog ear.
Please be a lucky dog.
(CELLPHONE BEEPS)
Oh! What, what, what?!
Oh, my word!
Whoo! Oh, my word!
Put it on hands free.
WILLOW: Hello.
Yay! Oh, well done, you did it!
(WILLOW LAUGHS)
Yeah. Oh, well done, babes!
Oh, that is extraordinary!
Yeah. Izzy didn't pass first time.
No, neither did I.
You won't believe
that you can drive on your own.
No, I know. It is weird.
Oh, well done, angel.
Love you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
I'd convinced myself
that wasn't gonna happen.
Is there a part of you
that's thinking, little Willow,
day-dreaming
at the wheel of a car? God!
That is brilliant. You see?
Your lucky ear worked!
Morning. We have got things.
We're at this meeting at Goodwood,
The first one
of the classic car racing season.
They get a huge range of cars,
different types of racing,
different teams here.
We're literally here to find out
is this something we can do?
We know we want to. Can we?
I just hope Ric realises
what he's letting himself in for.
Hello! This is incredibly exciting.
Can I introduce you to my guys?
Anthony.
Nice to meet you. This is Andrew.
Neil, he's absolutely fizzing
and popping,
so, you'll have to excuse him.
Wanna watch and learn.
How does a race team work?
What do I do if I'm the boss?
It's gonna be hard work,
I'm guessing.
Where we are today, here,
is the centre of my universe.
Everything motorsport-wise
revolves around this place.
This is the Mecca.
Cos this is qualifying?
Just purely qualifying.
You've half an hour
to qualify your two drivers.
We've got everything to lose
cos we won this race last year.
So, everyone here is now after you
specifically?
We're a bit of a target!
These are the things
we're gonna try and beat, Richard.
When it's actually racing,
is there much
you can physically do to it?
There's not a lot you can do,
if you get a puncture, it's over.
When do you start pacing? About now.
(ALL LAUGHING)
So, every time they fire up
their engine...
ANTHONY: They start theirs.
..they fire up theirs.
The fun thing is gonna be sort of
handing the guys over to him.
It's like, "There you go,
have these."
They're gonna get on, aren't they?
They're mechanics.
To be this close to the action
is like a dream come true
this is absolutely buzzing.
Each team has two drivers
and they must do
three qualifying laps each.
Ric's going first.
When the car comes in, one mechanic
will be in the pit lane.
One? One person. Yeah.
The team's best chance
of a top-five grid slot
lies in the hands of pro driver,
Jake.
Looks like now is where
they're gonna change drivers over,
Ric will tell Jake
what the track's like,
what the corners are.
Here we go, they're checking
tyre pressures, checking the oil out
and it's very serious because
they've gotta get the best time
to get at the front of the grid.
There's our man going out again now.
Ah!
I got goose bumps!
(LAUGHS)
Imagine being out there in that?
You are basically a minnow
in a tank full of sharks.
With young gun Jake at the wheel,
the team are up
to an impressive fourth on the grid.
Unfortunately, it's come at a cost.
I hop under there,
pop a gear box in there.
Yeah, it'd be all right.
Ric's team now have
a mountain to climb
to fit a complete new gearbox
in time for the race start.
Your options are pack up and go home
or crack on and do the job.
we'll crack on with it.
We're not going home.
Yeah, you see
that's a degree of energy.
Not sure,
I'm gonna get out of my guys yet.
The truth of the matter is,
they wouldn't fit under there.
We'd need axle stands this big.
How long would it take
to get a gear box? Ten minutes.
So, would you be up to this level?
They're pretty organised.
ANDREW: If we had built the car,
we'd know every nut and bolt.
We wouldn't have no worries.
But would you be bickering? Yeah!
Oh, God, Neil's going in.
MECHANIC:
Slide that roughly over to there?
NEIL:
Yeah, mate. Do you want a hand?
What if the bit he touches
goes wrong?
ANDREW: They'll probably
stone him to death.
I'd just drop the car on him.
There is the offending part.
Next job, get a new one on.
Ric and his team aren't
the only serious players here today.
Blakeney Motorsport
is one of the biggest firms
in classic racing
and apparently,
the boss is a man worth speaking to.
I'm off to meet a guy called Patrick
who runs lots of teams,
and I think here he is.
Patrick? How you doing?
How are you? Very good. Busy day?
Mine isn't as busy as yours.
No, not really.
You seem to running half of the
race.
Well, I think what racing does
and what being successful
at racing does
is it basically cuts
advertising cost
because all the magazine's cover it.
That's what I want to demonstrate.
Yeah. That we can build a fast,
well-finished car.
But you said if you're successful-
Well, you're not known for crashing
particularly, are you?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
That's what I was getting at!
There's a real danger
that I don't know how good our logo
will look upside-down!
If you get the car right day one,
you make it safe,
that's the most important thing.
The next thing you need to do
is to do loads of testing.
You gotta be quick. Most of the cars
these days have data on them.
I get data logging on my car?
Yeah, you gotta do that
cos then you can go back-
How much money
I have to spend on my car?
Insane amounts.
Yeah, that's sort of what I thought.
You'll do 1800 quid
just on a set of tyres.
But as a businessman
it does make sense?
Totally. Cos it will get us
with the right people,
in the right world. Yeah. You've
gotta start somewhere, haven't you?
If you don't start you don't know.
You're encouraging me
to spend money and ruin myself.
(LAUGHS)
What are you gonna spend money on?
You play golf?
No. Have you got a yacht? No.
Why not spend it on cars?
I'm gonna need you to phone my wife
in a minute and explain something.
and it makes you feel special
because without us
this could never happen.
I feel part of the team now,
don't we? Yeah, definitely.
The race is gonna be won
in the last five minutes.
When their brakes have faded.
We're trying to be there,
at the end.
At the last second. We'll see.
Felt that one go by in your chest.
See how this goes for Ric,
maybe next year,
this will be the Smallest Cog
lining up on that very grid.
It's third, straight away.
The car they're most worried
about is a mighty V8 Mustang
driven by Touring car champion,
Jason Plato
although, just making it
to the finish
will be an achievement.
ANDREW: Smoking on the right bank.
That's a lotta smoke.
Plato's Mustang
and an equally brawny Chevy Camaro
are streaking off into the lead.
Time to put Jake in the car.
Critical moment coming up.
NEIL: Here we go.
That must be
mentally and physically demanding,
mustn't it?
Be buzzing right now, but exhausted.
NEIL: No pressure is there!
How's it going? The car's fine.
It's so easy to try too hard.
Two or three have blown
up on the way round.
Is that his fuel tank?
The guy's pressed
the fire extinguisher
instead of the start button.
Oh, the poor sod.
Oh! Oh, dear.
TEAM MEMBER: Think he was gonna pit
and turned around.
That's gonna slow things up.
Look at the state of this.
That's the thing we could fix.
Now wouldn't be the time to go
and give him a business card.
Now, behind the safety car,
they'll all line up
in the order they were in.
What that will mean
is the gaps between them have gone.
Unlike us, most of the leading cars
have yet to pit stop
and change drivers.
And the boy wonder
is completely fresh.
His car's still pretty fresh.
It's gonna change
the whole world out.
Oh, you wait.
They are having a battle royal,
aren't they?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
ANDREW: Go on. He got him.
Oh, well done! Yes! Good lad!
That was brave!
That's...
Oh, that's Plato!
That's Plato out, yeah.
With Jason Plato out, Ric's team
have lost their main rival.
I'm not smiling until
the race finishes.
But the Chevy Camaro has taken
Plato's place at the front,
with Jake three cars back.
So, he's just trying to keep it
together to the end. Yeah.
We're fourth.
TEAM MEMBER: Fourth.
I think you needed another few laps.
Jake was putting his fastest lap in,
27 at the end.
Well, that's racing, isn't it?
But hey,
it's coming home in one piece.
(APPLAUSE)
What we need is an advertising board
right at this end
Where they dump all the cars
that had accidents
and they'll come to us hopefully.
He seems to have gone
lawn-mowing in his Lotus.
But, you know,
I can help him with that.
You never know.
NEIL: Today has been a sort of
real morale booster
cos you get this thing,
people are at a higher level
But when we got talking,
they're like us,
they were talking the same language.
The only thing that was worrying me,
is the cost gonna run away with us?
The short answer to that is, yeah.
I was really proud
of my ramshackle crew.
I don't think they saw anything
done that they couldn't do.
It's gonna be really hard work.
But it'll work.
We'd be sending our reputation
out to race.
If we're gonna do it,
we've gotta to go in hard.
I won't sleep tonight,
want a 3-litre Capri.
No, you've got
an MGB-GT to play with.
You can have a burger on the way.
Anybody remember
where we parked the truck?
Big day for the workshop today.
I am excited.
Barry's coming in
to collect his little Morris.
And that is Morris
that's been with us from the start
of this whole adventure.
NEIL: When that car goes from here,
that's more or less
my last car that was at Tram Inn.
Even though I'm fortunate
and lucky to have this garage
with Richard, when I was at Tram Inn
it was my own little world.
I could make every decision.
So, there was only one person
to blame and that was me.
It's ready. Yep.
And it looks, I've got to say,
absolutely phenomenal.
ANDREW: Wonder what Barry's gonna
think? Hope Barry's gonna like it.
It would be hard
not to like this car.
Look at it. It wasn't this straight
and crisp when it left the factory.
Are you pleased with it?
Pleased to see it pointing that way.
(LAUGHS)
My car's in there somewhere.
My dad, and me now,
have always had that car.
Every five minutes,
he would be there working on it
and in a garage
and doing this and that.
It's more than money.
Barry! NEIL: Hello, mate.
Welcome.
The car is here.
Hello, sir.
You all right? We've got a chair
in case the shock is just
overwhelming.
cos it has moved on a bit
from where it was
when you last saw it.
It's under there!
Right, shall we uncover?
Oh, oh, oh! There it is!
It has come on, hasn't it?
Oh, wow, look at that.
Blinking heck, mate.
That really is brought
back to life, isn't it?
From being a bit of a hulk.
It's had a life.
Well, it's had a wonderful life.
I think Dad would be pleased.
It's lovely.
Yeah, beautiful.
I don't know what to say.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Look at that.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.
Mate, thank you.
Thanks for trusting it to us.
Cheers, Neil. Well done, mate.
BARRY: Neil's got a lot of history
with that car.
I can remember when we was only kids
and he said to me,
"One day I'm gonna have a garage."
And here we are,
x amount of years later.
Well done, chaps.
Nice job and nice to see it
re-united with its owner.
Bye-bye little Morris.
That's almost a coming of age moment
for the Cog.
It's like, right,
we are grown up now.
No more favours, no more jobs
for mates for the sake of it.
They've gotta be paying properly,
they've gotta be...
They've gotta fit
into something bigger,
and more grown-up and serious.
You have no idea
what's happening down there.
I would say
four to six weeks. Oh, God!
Blimey, this could be serious.
Right, you did this? I thought,
I'll get my spanner out and-
It's in bits. You're not gonna
be able to keep on top of that.
You have absolutely no faith
in my ability? No.
classic car racing step up a gear.
Here is the centre of my universe.
Oh, dear!
That's gonna slow things up.
My daughter, Willow, regrets
her choice of driving instructor...
Look roadworks, need to slow down.
There's no-one there! But what
if he stepped... He's an old man.
You're talking to me!
How am I gonna concentrate?
..and at the workshop,
Neil and Mindy try to tackle our
mouse problem.
Oh, my God. I think we're
gonna need a bigger trap.
Fire them up, let's go!
I've fulfilled a lifelong dream.
MAN: This all yours? It's all ours.
I've set up a classic car
restoration business
with automotive wonder family Neil,
Anthony, and Andrew Greenhouse...
(RICHARD GASPS)
ANTHONY: Dad!
..but, it's become a money pit.
Bad, bad, bad.
And if we don't break even soon...
Ten. But the budget's ten!
..there's a chance we may go bust.
It's not going well at all.
So, I've come up
with ambitious new plans.
Welcome to your club.
We've gotta push forward
into the big league.
We're even going racing
to find cars that need our help.
Now wouldn't be the time
to give him a business card.
I'm determined to turn
my lifelong obsession...
Come on, little car.
..into a thriving business.
Will it turn over? No.
(LAUGHING)
Isn't this a good idea?
Bye-bye, dogs.
We need more work through the doors
at The Smallest Cog.
We're just not getting
enough cars to work on,
so, we are not making any money,
and I've had a brilliant idea.
Turn my old MGB GT into a race car,
form a Smallest Cog race team,
and then we can put
our logo all over it,
and appear at race events
all over the country.
And when people crash their
classic cars,
we're there alongside
offering our services,
they already know us.
We launched the idea
at the Classic Car Restoration Show
at the NEC last week
and everybody agreed,
everybody loved the idea,
loved the car.
But, really, that was just the MGB
painted to look like a race car.
Now we need to turn it into one,
and that is gonna be expensive.
It's gonna be more expensive
than I think.
I just know it's gonna be.
Which is why,
I've invited Kamla, accountant,
to have our usual meeting
here at the house
rather than at the Workshop.
Because I don't necessarily want her
spotting
that of late,
we've only really been working
on the MGB
and not on anything
that pays us any money.
She will spot that
and probably be cross.
Right, tidying up.
Hi, Richard. Hello.
Hello.
Sorry for the change of venue.
That's OK.
It's a nice change for me.
It was just the way
the day worked out. Come on in.
Thank you. Step this way.
We'll step up to my office.
It's work in progress.
This looks like a real boy's room.
What do you mean by boy's room?
Scruffy. It's typical boys room.
Yeah, maybe scruffy.
Scruffy, what you're saying.
It needs a feminine touch.
Oh, it doesn't.
It does.
Ignore that, it's a speeding ticket.
A speeding ticket?
Don't worry about it.
So- Firstly, I just wanted to check.
How did it all go at the NEC?
It was brilliant.
I spoke to lots
of other business people...
..and they all agreed.
Yes, that's a great way
of getting business.
It's cheaper than advertising.
And the right audience. Exactly.
And it's more meaningful
than advertising
because if I'm alongside them
on the grid and then they crash,
they'll come to me cos they know
we're part of their world.
It works. Fantastic.
You said the budget was 10,000...
Yeah.
..on the MGB. So, here's a list
of everything we've spent to date.
So, just under 3,000.
So, we still have 7,000 left. Right.
There are some other things
to add to that.
There are.
Do you know roughly how much?
No.
But I mean, it'll be...
There'll be the engine work.
Is that costly?
That could be quite a lot.
Ballpark?
(RICHARD SIGHS)
Ten, 12? Ten! Could be.
But the budget's ten.
I know. we're gonna go over a bit.
A bit!? It's a budget.
But that's 3,000 without labour.
But I'm not paying
for the labour directly.
But to work out
how much this is costing you,
we need to look at the materials,
the labour gone into it,
because those hours are taken away
from billable jobs.
So, I'm not arguing or disagreeing-
Only if they've got billable
jobs to be doing.
But they have, haven't they? Yes.
So?
Look...
Here's the way I look at it.
Think of the great entrepreneurs.
They've had to have a clever idea,
and then back it.
But I imagine, they kept up to date
on all the costs.
I think I pretty much got away
with that.
cos I am gonna stick to my guns.
I'm right.
Get this race team working.
It's the best advert we could have.
It's gonna cost us a bit to get
there and yeah, yeah.
You don't do great things
by giving up
when it gets a bit difficult, do
you?
You don't go broke,
but you don't win through.
How did the NEC job go? All right.
Yeah, what did people think
of the car?
Went down a treat to be honest.
Yeah. Your phone just went off.
Oh!
Who is it? Barry.
I'd sort of half forgot about Barry,
didn't we?
He's all right though.
Not going by this, he ain't.
Barry's a mate of mine. The problem
is, we've had all the rigmarole
of getting this place set up
and in amongst all this
has been Barry's Morris
Eight Series E.
It was only ever a mate's rate job.
We were gonna do it when I had
a few spare hours, get it done.
In all fairness,
people have only got so much,
sort of, how can I put it?
It's like a piece of elastic.
It gets to the end
and then they're just ready to snap.
(PHONE RINGING)
Smallest Cog. Hello,
I'm Barry Rees, sir. Neil knows me.
I wonder whether you've got
my Morris Eight Tourer?
The Morris?
The little grey Morris Eight.
(STUTTERS)
This was taken on a while ago,
wasn't it?
Yes, it's a long time!
He's had it two years.
Has he? I wouldn't mind having it
finished, if that's OK?
Of course, mate. Definitely.
I've just spoken to Barry
on the phone.
He's coming over to see
how it's going.
15 minutes.
We have spent months moving that car
from place to place,
but what we haven't done is
anything to the car.
What can we do in 15 minutes? Hide?
Let Hammond deal with him.
He'll break the ice a bit, won't he?
Hello, mate. Hello, sir.
My car, sir? Yeah.
Obviously, it's not
as far as you would have liked.
To be honest, I did expect to see
a bit of blue on it.
He's a bit loud. When he goes quiet
he's got a problem.
I haven't even really
discussed it with Neil.
See, go and test the water.
You can go first. Oh, no! It's fine.
(LAUGHS)
It was your idea, wasn't it?
Just take a big, deep breath.
I don't know whether Neil put
the first coat of paint on it.
You can ask him cos there he is.
NEIL: Hello, Barry. You OK?
I was just telling about Dad's car.
Yep, she's got a bit of history.
As you can see,
it's nearly finished now.
Can see, it's nearly done.
I like this matte effect.
NEIL: We're gonna go
flat out on it now,
it'll be two to three weeks at most.
I'll guarantee you, won't charge
a penny more than what we said.
OK, well, thank you very much.
But there is £8,000 storage.
Yeah.
You are pushing your luck, you-
BARRY: The kit they've got,
looks to be second to none.
Was a bit worried, I'd
have to be paying a lot more money
than I've actually got.
Does it turn over?
It will turn over, won't it?
This is the old days.
This is Neil's old business
before we set up together.
The longer they spend
talking about the job,
the easier it becomes to understand
why the job never got done.
ANDREW: You had hair then.
NEIL: I had hair.
I had my own teeth.
I was 6 foot 3 inches.
You can't have friends
having thing's done for nothing,
but Barry's been
a really good friend of mine
since school days,
and he hasn't been a very well chap.
How much have you told him
it's going to cost?
To cut a long story short.
You've never done that
in your entire life.
In real terms...
£3,000. Oh, God!
I know, but it's Barry, innit?
I know it's Barry!
I'd love him to have his car back.
But we gotta do it see.
It's a commitment
from the old workshop.
It's a commitment. Gotta do it.
I'll just go and slam
my head repeatedly in the door!
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
It's big day
in the Hammond household.
I am, yet again, taking my life
in my hands in a car,
thanks to a national shortage
of driving instructors.
This would be easier
if you get a driving instructor.
We've tried. It's not my fault.
Oh, look. look, look!
This is exactly what I want.
Turns and junctions, look. Right,
OK.
We'll have a go today
and see how we get on-
I'll get into my test,
they'll go, "What are you doing?"
And I'm like, "Well!"
We haven't discussed my rate yet.
She's cruel, this one.
I'm gonna get just beaten up by her.
Look. Look at that little face.
Look.
I'm on my way.
It's fine. I'm not cold.
No, all right, I had to get
a notepad. Oh, dear.
Have you ever considered
cleaning this?
What's wrong with it? I didn't have
a car this nice until I was 40.
Out of respect,
you could clean it. Begin.
Just give me a minute.
Some of us don't just have
the natural, pah-pah, you know?
Basically,
it's all about observation.
They, ask you questions and stuff.
Well, it's a driving test.
Put your hands at ten to two.
No, it's actually nine and three.
Your hands are at ten and four.
Yeah. Well, your hands are,
well, one of them is on seven.
Is there a car behind us? No. Yeah.
Ah! I was busy looking at a leaf
on the ground.
You're driving a lethal weapon.
Sorry, I'm very tense.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Look, roadworks, need to slow down.
Hazard perception.
Yeah, it's fine.
Ah, slower than that!
There's no-one there!
Much slower than that.
what if he'd stepped out!
You're talking!
How am I gonna concentrate?
He could have wandered out-
Do you want it on your conscience?
How am I gonna concentrate
if you're talking to me?
But most people can manage that.
I can't.
Slow to a gentle halt. I am.
"Wait here!" Sorry, everyone!
It's wait over there!
I'm embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed.
I forgot what I was doing
for a minute. Forgot I was driving.
The problem is-
It's cos you're talking to me.
Don't talk to me cos then
I can't do anything.
Come on, turn green. I'm bored now.
Yes!
Didn't look over your shoulder! No.
I'm really sorry. I'm embarrassed.
That's something I need to work on.
As you've never done it. I used to.
You started coming in the car
with me, never picked me on it.
Can we not be making me
into the problem here?
It's not my fault, you didn't
look over your shoulder.
You literally put yourself
in charge of being my instructor.
Where are we going? Huntley.
Why are we going to Huntley?
To New Hunt Equestrian.
What? Horse stuff?
Boom. Hazard perception.
Right, there.
It's been so long since
we touched it, you've forgotten.
No, I've decided,
I'm having this side.
Oh, you've already taken the...
I think it's horrible both sides.
Good and bad. You've got
the nasty sill to sort out.
start work on Morris. Yes.
So, I'll have to chop rear corner
of that wing cos it's terrible.
There's a nasty repair on my side,
funnily enough.
My earliest memory of this car
would be about 1981.
I think I painted the bonnet
on this. Got a bit of work to do
cos the longer we're working on this
the more money we're losing.
I do get it with Barry's old Morris
cos Neil never wants
to let anybody down.
But, let's be honest,
three grand is about a third
of what that job should cost
and that's not gonna go down
very well with Kamla
when I'm trying to get us
to spend time and money
on getting our race car done.
So, there's only one way to do that.
A little short, fat bloke in
borrowed overalls solution.
First job,
take the engine out
ready for a major overhaul.
On a scale of one to ten, I know
what I'm doing at about four to six,
which is probably the most dangerous
place to be, because I know enough
to get myself into terrible trouble,
but not enough
to get myself out of it.
Ant?
How do I make it go up on the ramp?
Oh, right. Thank you.
There you go, sir.
This shows how often Richard uses
his spanners.
Still got the barcode.
This is the bottom hose now,
which is the bit that comes off
the bottom of the radiator.
But the bottom hose
is a bit of a sod to get off.
(SIGHS)
That is the world's easiest engine
ever to get out,
that's a sort of
kindergarten engine that is.
It's giving two clicks
of the ratchet every time.
That's all I can get.
Enjoying that. He won't need to have
a drink tonight.
He'll sleep cos he's done some work.
A real man for once in his life.
He'll smell of testosterone
and his missus will think
he's a different man.
Engine is out!
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(BIRD CALLING)
Old blue tit. Hello, mate!
I'm very, very lucky to live here.
I'm very lucky
to have got this place.
I do appreciate it.
I try to keep it tidy.
(BIRD CALLING)
My little robin comes out,
usually I feed him.
But he's disappeared into the hedge.
That time of year you see, mating.
This is my own workshop.
I started Barry's car here.
That was a couple of years ago.
I know the bits that I need
to finish it off now are here.
I just hope I haven't lost anything.
I want them anyway...
There we are.
So, I'm not that daft, see?
"Barry's Morris Eight."
There we are. Gaskets.
Perfect, perfect.
This car has been sort of
part of our garage life
for the last 40 years.
Four garages I've had
and that car's been in
every single garage.
I actually bought my engagement ring
out of the money
I earnt off that car.
It's a bit sad in some ways
cos that car was a major part
of Barry's dad's life
and when Barry's dad passed away,
he came in to see me
and asked me if I could drive
that Morris Eight to the crematorium
on his dad's funeral.
Just so that when he pulled up,
that car was waiting for him
to see him off.
So, you see it was something special
with that car.
Not because of value.
It's special because of what it is.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Right now,
this little van has two engines.
It's got the normal one in the
front, then in the back,
I've got the engine
from our MGB race car
and that's because
I am now taking it up north
to put it in the hands of Ric Wood,
who is a specialist,
and I do mean a specialist,
in building race car engines.
He also runs a classic car race
team, so that he gets to know
all the other people
that run race cars
and they bring their work
to his workshop.
So, he is proof
that what I'm setting out to do
is worth doing.
This could be the most important
money we spend on the car.
Only slight worry is the money.
I think the engine could end up
eating most of that.
Race cars already.
Race cars. There is the man.
Hello.
Hi, Richard. How are you?
Nice to see you.
Ah, right. So, this is... Cars. Oh!
1973 Capri.
That's not like my humble MGB.
We can't do that.
Capri 1974.
You do like a Capri, don't you?
That one had 350 horsepower.
That's got just short of 500.
These are big boy toys. I want
to look at where you're going
to rebuild the engine on my
rather more modest MG. Come with me.
Got a question as I'm walking
around.
Are these all like stock
or just old stuff?
Everything you see here
is a job in process
or ready to go out.
What, each of these is a job?
Absolutely. We could keep busy
for three to six months.
Yeah, I'm much the same
at my workshop.
What do you think you could
squeeze out of that little engine?
Given that it's putting out...
What were they putting out new,
the MGB engines?
Was it 90? I think maybe 91.
More than that.
I bloody hope so. More than that.
Realistically in budget terms,
what's the ceiling for what
a person could spend on this?
I'm guessing probably
15 or 18,000. Right.
It's quite a lot
more than the car's worth.
Possibly. It is! It is.
It's the last ten horsepower
that costs you £10,000.
Ah, now that I was expecting.
It's the very last little bit, yes.
But I'll be very disappointed
if you're not right up
in your class.
OK, that's good.
So, I've seen where it's going
and here's what it is.
Do you have a special device
for getting it out? It's heavy.
I've got three of them. Oh, you're
the special devices? Yes.
Right, come on Vita,
the old fashioned way.
Three, two, one.
I would help, but there wasn't room
for me to join in,
to be honest.
there's been some conversation
about rodent infestation.
It's not a great idea
to have mice in a workshop
with valuable vehicles in it
because they quite like
eating upholstery and electrics.
However,
it's quite a tricky subject,
with Neil, because
Neil literally wouldn't hurt a fly.
Hello. Oh, hello.
I just came to see how we're doing
with our rodent issue?
Well, actually, we've been clever
or reasonably clever
and we've set
some little cameras up.
If they come along in the night
and eat something,
at least we'll know...
What we're dealing with.
..what you're dealing with.
I think what's been happening,
they've been coming along
somehow there, cos that's where
the kitchen pipe goes.
Let's go and have a look.
I'll show you where they are.
Interesting times.
You notice though that
the camera is camouflaged.
Reason being that the mice-
Camouflaged!
The mice would- They won't see it.
They won't see it. They'd better...
We'll take it off
and then see
if there's anything there.
We have a look now.
Oh, I don't know. I'm not the best
with technology, but...
Oh, look there's 21 clips on here.
That means, what,
21 times, it's been set off?
Yeah, it's gone off 21 times.
Can you see anything?
I'll just press "OK"
and see what we got.
Oh, my God!
I think we're gonna need
a bigger trap.
MINDY: Richard!
Can I show you something?
Watch this.
Oh, that's a big mouse! Isn't it?
That's a really big mouse.
I don't think, to be honest,
it is a mouse. Wait a minute.
Maybe it's closer than you think.
No, I think that's a rat.
Look, look, there's more than one.
Maybe it's the same one
several times? No.
No, I thought that until I saw...
..that one.
That's an even bigger "Mouse."
That's an enormous mama.
Yeah, "Mama"
being the operative word.
It's pregnant.
That's not anything to celebrate.
Little baby.
We've got a really big problem.
Wait a minute, can't kill the rats.
Neil won't let us, no.
He'll tie himself
to one of those railings.
"Save the rats."
He won't let it happen.
He won't.
We need to solve this though.
There's going to be a lot more rats.
Neil! Neil!
Oh, dear.
In trouble again.
We've got a selection
of humane traps. Oh, right.
Little one for the little mouse.
Yeah.
Bigger one for the bigger ratty
rat, and one for the monsters.
That's the Goldilocks,
the middle one. Yeah.
If we can get a man trap,
we can put that for Richard.
You'd have to be a man
to get in there. Get a mini one.
The big one!
Is this one that does what it says
on the tin? Rat cage. Blimey.
It sounds like it should have
a wheel inside it. Oh, right.
OK. Got the swing. Does it go that
way up, then you put it on the side,
feed it, like,
"Who's a pretty boy then?"
(BOTH LAUGH)
That's nice. Right. OK, hang on.
Something goes on with this then,
does it?
Oh, hello! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Hold on, hold on.
I'm gonna be a rat.
Go on then. Again.
Munchy, munchy- Oh! My tail!
What bait are we gonna stick
in there, cheese?
Bread, biscuits?
Oh, look, look, look.
Look, there's half a sausage bap.
This is like rat and mouse heaven.
That looks like a mechanic trap.
Yeah, it is.
Well, this is the sort of thing
they're used to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew would eat that.
(MINDY LAUGHS)
Ah, progress!
Something's changed on the Morris.
Trying. How's it going?
Getting there.
There's a lot of filler in here,
but it's very thin.
So, it's only just masking
the little tiny imperfections.
Now, don't get cross,
that side's further than your side.
I'm saying Andrew's side
is further than your side.
I was very lucky
that I picked this side.
No, you didn't pick that side.
You bagged that side,
cos you knew this one was bent.
Would you like a cup of tea
or coffee?
A real cup of coffee
or an imaginary one?
It's a real one. I'll have a coffee
with one sugar, please.
It'll be so good to get
that little Morris out the door
because Barry is a long,
long-term mate,
and it'll be lovely to return
that little car to him.
But particularly to be rid of
the bloody thing in my workshop.
WILLOW: After you, my dear.
Cheers, love. Oh, look, your
shoes. Oh, the cat's teddy.
What's it like driving with me
compared to with Dad?
You do tend to sit on the phone
like the entirety of the journey.
You do! Don't lie, you do.
Don't lie.
That's cos I'm relaxed with you.
You tend to panic with the brake.
Whenever I'm coming up to
a roundabout or a junction
you want me to brake
at a mile away. OK, sorry.
I'm perfectly capable. All right.
I passed on my second attempt.
Izzy passed on the second, I think.
Daddy's was second as well actually.
I really wanna pass first time
just so I can rub it in your faces.
Right.
Oh! So... Oh, hello. Hello?
You didn't turn all
your controls off when you stopped.
Probably a fail.
Oh, I don't know how that works!
You need to... Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!
You need to know
where the controls are.
And we're off. Don't kill the hedge.
We're all good.
Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
Manoeuvre?
I did look at my mirror though.
You're driving with more confidence
I'd say.
You're very relaxed when you drive.
Welcome to Ross Vegas.
Why is everyone walking
into the road today?
Yeah, but you were aware of her.
That's good. Hazard perception...
Well done.
Not gonna say you'll pass first time
cos I think that's jinxing it.
I don't see why you wouldn't pass.
Why I want to pass is,
walk in the house and...
Who's the better driver?
Realistically, me!"
Well, we'll know in 24hrs.
NEIL: It's only been two years.
Can't rush a good job.
ANTHONY: Finally.
NEIL: We've got her
pretty straight now.
and bearing in mind when Barry's dad
bought it back in the 1970s,
it had been used in banger racing
and I don't think it won!
(BOTH LAUGH)
I think it lost big time.
ANDREW:
There's no room for mistakes.
Just need to get it off
the gun, finished.
Get it built up.
I took the engine for our race car
up to Ric Wood
to turn it into a race engine.
Great. Really interesting.
But, more interesting still is,
we're already kind of
part of the scene
cos he's now inviting us to go along
and join his race team at Goodwood.
We're gonna spend the day
with a classic car race team
and learn.
Gents...
So, The Goodwood Members' Meeting.
So, that's, like, pretty exclusive.
ANTHONY: Yeah, you can't get in.
Exactly.
I've got us embedded
with a team there.
So, we actually go to the team.
We are alongside them.
Members? Yeah.
And you'll be with their mechanics
in the pits.
That's this weekend.
That's the only slight issue.
It's tomorrow.
No, I'm going.
Cos I've got a wedding to go.
I'll have to break it to the missus.
Have you got your best suit
hanging up ready? Yes.
(ALL LAUGHING)
This Sunday that'll be
in a bin bag at the back door.
OK, you owe me.
I can't believe that.
It's like the Holy Grail
of motor racing to go there,
because they're not
just normal cars.
The cars that they race there,
they've all gotta be proper,
bona fide, genuine classic cars.
You can't have a replica,
pull up there and go race,
got to be the genuine.
So, you're not looking at pretend
racing, it's the real deal.
Goodwood. I can't wait, mate.
I'm absolutely buzzing!
Before the weekend's excitement
can commence,
there's a tense wait
at the Hammond household.
Right. Here's the situation.
Willow is now in her driving test.
It's started.
She's been 35 minutes.
Should I text? No.
Leave her alone. Why?
Not your thing!
If she's failed,
she might not want to say anything.
she might mess with our heads.
This is Willow.
No, she wouldn't do that.
She might. She might.
It's getting close to D-Day now,
isn't it?
Another three minutes
and it'll have been 40.
I'm going to rub my lucky dog ear.
Please be a lucky dog.
(CELLPHONE BEEPS)
Oh! What, what, what?!
Oh, my word!
Whoo! Oh, my word!
Put it on hands free.
WILLOW: Hello.
Yay! Oh, well done, you did it!
(WILLOW LAUGHS)
Yeah. Oh, well done, babes!
Oh, that is extraordinary!
Yeah. Izzy didn't pass first time.
No, neither did I.
You won't believe
that you can drive on your own.
No, I know. It is weird.
Oh, well done, angel.
Love you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
I'd convinced myself
that wasn't gonna happen.
Is there a part of you
that's thinking, little Willow,
day-dreaming
at the wheel of a car? God!
That is brilliant. You see?
Your lucky ear worked!
Morning. We have got things.
We're at this meeting at Goodwood,
The first one
of the classic car racing season.
They get a huge range of cars,
different types of racing,
different teams here.
We're literally here to find out
is this something we can do?
We know we want to. Can we?
I just hope Ric realises
what he's letting himself in for.
Hello! This is incredibly exciting.
Can I introduce you to my guys?
Anthony.
Nice to meet you. This is Andrew.
Neil, he's absolutely fizzing
and popping,
so, you'll have to excuse him.
Wanna watch and learn.
How does a race team work?
What do I do if I'm the boss?
It's gonna be hard work,
I'm guessing.
Where we are today, here,
is the centre of my universe.
Everything motorsport-wise
revolves around this place.
This is the Mecca.
Cos this is qualifying?
Just purely qualifying.
You've half an hour
to qualify your two drivers.
We've got everything to lose
cos we won this race last year.
So, everyone here is now after you
specifically?
We're a bit of a target!
These are the things
we're gonna try and beat, Richard.
When it's actually racing,
is there much
you can physically do to it?
There's not a lot you can do,
if you get a puncture, it's over.
When do you start pacing? About now.
(ALL LAUGHING)
So, every time they fire up
their engine...
ANTHONY: They start theirs.
..they fire up theirs.
The fun thing is gonna be sort of
handing the guys over to him.
It's like, "There you go,
have these."
They're gonna get on, aren't they?
They're mechanics.
To be this close to the action
is like a dream come true
this is absolutely buzzing.
Each team has two drivers
and they must do
three qualifying laps each.
Ric's going first.
When the car comes in, one mechanic
will be in the pit lane.
One? One person. Yeah.
The team's best chance
of a top-five grid slot
lies in the hands of pro driver,
Jake.
Looks like now is where
they're gonna change drivers over,
Ric will tell Jake
what the track's like,
what the corners are.
Here we go, they're checking
tyre pressures, checking the oil out
and it's very serious because
they've gotta get the best time
to get at the front of the grid.
There's our man going out again now.
Ah!
I got goose bumps!
(LAUGHS)
Imagine being out there in that?
You are basically a minnow
in a tank full of sharks.
With young gun Jake at the wheel,
the team are up
to an impressive fourth on the grid.
Unfortunately, it's come at a cost.
I hop under there,
pop a gear box in there.
Yeah, it'd be all right.
Ric's team now have
a mountain to climb
to fit a complete new gearbox
in time for the race start.
Your options are pack up and go home
or crack on and do the job.
we'll crack on with it.
We're not going home.
Yeah, you see
that's a degree of energy.
Not sure,
I'm gonna get out of my guys yet.
The truth of the matter is,
they wouldn't fit under there.
We'd need axle stands this big.
How long would it take
to get a gear box? Ten minutes.
So, would you be up to this level?
They're pretty organised.
ANDREW: If we had built the car,
we'd know every nut and bolt.
We wouldn't have no worries.
But would you be bickering? Yeah!
Oh, God, Neil's going in.
MECHANIC:
Slide that roughly over to there?
NEIL:
Yeah, mate. Do you want a hand?
What if the bit he touches
goes wrong?
ANDREW: They'll probably
stone him to death.
I'd just drop the car on him.
There is the offending part.
Next job, get a new one on.
Ric and his team aren't
the only serious players here today.
Blakeney Motorsport
is one of the biggest firms
in classic racing
and apparently,
the boss is a man worth speaking to.
I'm off to meet a guy called Patrick
who runs lots of teams,
and I think here he is.
Patrick? How you doing?
How are you? Very good. Busy day?
Mine isn't as busy as yours.
No, not really.
You seem to running half of the
race.
Well, I think what racing does
and what being successful
at racing does
is it basically cuts
advertising cost
because all the magazine's cover it.
That's what I want to demonstrate.
Yeah. That we can build a fast,
well-finished car.
But you said if you're successful-
Well, you're not known for crashing
particularly, are you?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
That's what I was getting at!
There's a real danger
that I don't know how good our logo
will look upside-down!
If you get the car right day one,
you make it safe,
that's the most important thing.
The next thing you need to do
is to do loads of testing.
You gotta be quick. Most of the cars
these days have data on them.
I get data logging on my car?
Yeah, you gotta do that
cos then you can go back-
How much money
I have to spend on my car?
Insane amounts.
Yeah, that's sort of what I thought.
You'll do 1800 quid
just on a set of tyres.
But as a businessman
it does make sense?
Totally. Cos it will get us
with the right people,
in the right world. Yeah. You've
gotta start somewhere, haven't you?
If you don't start you don't know.
You're encouraging me
to spend money and ruin myself.
(LAUGHS)
What are you gonna spend money on?
You play golf?
No. Have you got a yacht? No.
Why not spend it on cars?
I'm gonna need you to phone my wife
in a minute and explain something.
and it makes you feel special
because without us
this could never happen.
I feel part of the team now,
don't we? Yeah, definitely.
The race is gonna be won
in the last five minutes.
When their brakes have faded.
We're trying to be there,
at the end.
At the last second. We'll see.
Felt that one go by in your chest.
See how this goes for Ric,
maybe next year,
this will be the Smallest Cog
lining up on that very grid.
It's third, straight away.
The car they're most worried
about is a mighty V8 Mustang
driven by Touring car champion,
Jason Plato
although, just making it
to the finish
will be an achievement.
ANDREW: Smoking on the right bank.
That's a lotta smoke.
Plato's Mustang
and an equally brawny Chevy Camaro
are streaking off into the lead.
Time to put Jake in the car.
Critical moment coming up.
NEIL: Here we go.
That must be
mentally and physically demanding,
mustn't it?
Be buzzing right now, but exhausted.
NEIL: No pressure is there!
How's it going? The car's fine.
It's so easy to try too hard.
Two or three have blown
up on the way round.
Is that his fuel tank?
The guy's pressed
the fire extinguisher
instead of the start button.
Oh, the poor sod.
Oh! Oh, dear.
TEAM MEMBER: Think he was gonna pit
and turned around.
That's gonna slow things up.
Look at the state of this.
That's the thing we could fix.
Now wouldn't be the time to go
and give him a business card.
Now, behind the safety car,
they'll all line up
in the order they were in.
What that will mean
is the gaps between them have gone.
Unlike us, most of the leading cars
have yet to pit stop
and change drivers.
And the boy wonder
is completely fresh.
His car's still pretty fresh.
It's gonna change
the whole world out.
Oh, you wait.
They are having a battle royal,
aren't they?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
ANDREW: Go on. He got him.
Oh, well done! Yes! Good lad!
That was brave!
That's...
Oh, that's Plato!
That's Plato out, yeah.
With Jason Plato out, Ric's team
have lost their main rival.
I'm not smiling until
the race finishes.
But the Chevy Camaro has taken
Plato's place at the front,
with Jake three cars back.
So, he's just trying to keep it
together to the end. Yeah.
We're fourth.
TEAM MEMBER: Fourth.
I think you needed another few laps.
Jake was putting his fastest lap in,
27 at the end.
Well, that's racing, isn't it?
But hey,
it's coming home in one piece.
(APPLAUSE)
What we need is an advertising board
right at this end
Where they dump all the cars
that had accidents
and they'll come to us hopefully.
He seems to have gone
lawn-mowing in his Lotus.
But, you know,
I can help him with that.
You never know.
NEIL: Today has been a sort of
real morale booster
cos you get this thing,
people are at a higher level
But when we got talking,
they're like us,
they were talking the same language.
The only thing that was worrying me,
is the cost gonna run away with us?
The short answer to that is, yeah.
I was really proud
of my ramshackle crew.
I don't think they saw anything
done that they couldn't do.
It's gonna be really hard work.
But it'll work.
We'd be sending our reputation
out to race.
If we're gonna do it,
we've gotta to go in hard.
I won't sleep tonight,
want a 3-litre Capri.
No, you've got
an MGB-GT to play with.
You can have a burger on the way.
Anybody remember
where we parked the truck?
Big day for the workshop today.
I am excited.
Barry's coming in
to collect his little Morris.
And that is Morris
that's been with us from the start
of this whole adventure.
NEIL: When that car goes from here,
that's more or less
my last car that was at Tram Inn.
Even though I'm fortunate
and lucky to have this garage
with Richard, when I was at Tram Inn
it was my own little world.
I could make every decision.
So, there was only one person
to blame and that was me.
It's ready. Yep.
And it looks, I've got to say,
absolutely phenomenal.
ANDREW: Wonder what Barry's gonna
think? Hope Barry's gonna like it.
It would be hard
not to like this car.
Look at it. It wasn't this straight
and crisp when it left the factory.
Are you pleased with it?
Pleased to see it pointing that way.
(LAUGHS)
My car's in there somewhere.
My dad, and me now,
have always had that car.
Every five minutes,
he would be there working on it
and in a garage
and doing this and that.
It's more than money.
Barry! NEIL: Hello, mate.
Welcome.
The car is here.
Hello, sir.
You all right? We've got a chair
in case the shock is just
overwhelming.
cos it has moved on a bit
from where it was
when you last saw it.
It's under there!
Right, shall we uncover?
Oh, oh, oh! There it is!
It has come on, hasn't it?
Oh, wow, look at that.
Blinking heck, mate.
That really is brought
back to life, isn't it?
From being a bit of a hulk.
It's had a life.
Well, it's had a wonderful life.
I think Dad would be pleased.
It's lovely.
Yeah, beautiful.
I don't know what to say.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Look at that.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.
Mate, thank you.
Thanks for trusting it to us.
Cheers, Neil. Well done, mate.
BARRY: Neil's got a lot of history
with that car.
I can remember when we was only kids
and he said to me,
"One day I'm gonna have a garage."
And here we are,
x amount of years later.
Well done, chaps.
Nice job and nice to see it
re-united with its owner.
Bye-bye little Morris.
That's almost a coming of age moment
for the Cog.
It's like, right,
we are grown up now.
No more favours, no more jobs
for mates for the sake of it.
They've gotta be paying properly,
they've gotta be...
They've gotta fit
into something bigger,
and more grown-up and serious.
You have no idea
what's happening down there.
I would say
four to six weeks. Oh, God!
Blimey, this could be serious.
Right, you did this? I thought,
I'll get my spanner out and-
It's in bits. You're not gonna
be able to keep on top of that.
You have absolutely no faith
in my ability? No.