Rhoda (1974–1978): Season 1, Episode 22 - Windows by Rhoda - full transcript
Rhoda is preparing a presentation for a potential window dressing contract, which if she gets it would be her biggest job since she moved back to New York. The problem is that she can't come up with an idea for the presentation, which isn't helped by having to work from home and all the disruptions that come along with that. Her thought process is interrupted in quick succession by a door-to-door salesperson, Joe, Brenda and Myrna. But through these disruptions comes an idea from an unexpected source. That idea spawns Rhoda's presentation, which does get her the job over the twenty other applicants. With her window dressing contracts now flourishing, she decides to move her business into her own office. Running a business isn't as easy as Rhoda thought, but again she gets assistance from an unexpected source.
- MY NAME
IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX,
NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
I'VE ALWAYS FELT
RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.
THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER
LIKING THAT LIKED ME
BACK WAS FOOD.
I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.
IT LASTED 17 YEARS.
I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.
I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.
MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS
ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.
I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF
THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.
MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO
THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY
FROM HOME.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO
MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD,
AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS
YOUR LAST CHANCE.
- NO, THANK YOU.
I CAN'T USE ANY OF YOUR STUFF.
- AVOCADO FACIAL MASK?
- UH-UH.
- OLIVE OIL MOISTURIZER?
- MISS,
I-I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I'M
TRYING TO GET SOME WORK DONE.
YOU SEE, I WORK AT HOME.
- THIS IS GOOD STUFF.
I USE IT MYSELF,
AND LOOK HOW
YOUTHFUL MY SKIN LOOKS.
- OK,
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
- 22.
- TOO BAD.
IF YOU SAID "53,"
I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT
THE WHOLE FRANCHISE.
- CARLTON?
- HELLO? THIS IS CARL--
- YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
CARLTON, LISTEN TO ME.
I TOLD YOU BEFORE, I'M
GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN.
I'M NOT HOME.
SO, DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE UP.
DO YOU KNOW I JUST HAD TO
GET RID OF A WOMAN SELLING
COSMETICS DOOR-TO-DOOR?
- I'LL GO FIND HER RIGHT AWAY.
I COULD USE A NEW
BOTTLE OF AFTERSHAVE.
- [SIGHING]
- HI, BABE. SURPRISE.
- HI, JOE.
- I WAS ON A JOB IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD SO I FIGURED,
WHY BUY LUNCH WHEN
I'M SO CLOSE TO HOME?
- LISTEN, BABE, I REALLY
WOULD LIKE TO COOK SOME
LUNCH FOR YOU,
MAKE YOU SOMETHING,
BUT I CAN'T, I'M TOO BUSY.
I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH
AN IDEA FOR THIS NEW JOB
I'M UP FOR.
- OH, THAT'S OK.
I DON'T NEED SOMEONE
TO FIX ME LUNCH.
I'LL JUST HAVE SOME FRUIT
AND CHEESE AND STUFF.
- OH, GOOD.
- WHAT NEW JOB IS THAT?
- IT'S MARTINDALE'S.
BOY, IF I GET THIS, IT'LL
BE THE BIGGEST ACCOUNT
I'VE EVER GOTTEN.
I MEAN,
UP 'TIL NOW, THE BIGGEST WAS
WHEN TIE CITY ADDED BELTS.
- OH,
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- YEAH.
- SAY, WHERE'S THE CHEESE?
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULD
MAKE YOUR LUNCH YOURSELF?
- OH, YEAH, I CAN MAKE IT.
I JUST CAN'T FIND IT.
- I SEE.
OK.
YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE IDEA
OF WORKING AT HOME
IS REALLY AWFUL. IT IS.
BECAUSE I'M HOME, PEOPLE FEEL
FREE TO JUST DROP IN WHENEVER
THEY LIKE.
LOOK, EVEN YOU.
OK.
OK, YOU'RE ALLOWED.
- ALL I WANT IS LUNCH.
- I KNOW.
BOY, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL
DAY OUT THERE, HUH?
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE?
- HMM?
- I'D LIKE TO EAT
LUNCH IN THE PARK.
- WOULDN'T YOU?
- YEAH, SURE.
- AND WHAT
A PERFECT LUNCH FOR IT.
I MEAN, FRUIT, CHEESE,
A LITTLE FRENCH BREAD, RIGHT?
SOME WINE?
SIT UNDER A TREE.
NUTS. HERE.
TAKE A SQUIRREL TO LUNCH.
YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?
I MEAN,
YOU'RE A DISTRACTION.
A GREAT DISTRACTION,
BUT A DISTRACTION.
I FIGURE, IF I'M ALONE
FOR A WHILE, I CAN GET THIS
WORK DONE. OK?
- SURE.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
- OH, HIYA, BREN.
- YOU ON YOUR WAY TO
GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE?
- I'M NOT GONNA CARRY
THIS IN THE PARK.
I'M ALSO NOT GONNA
CARRY THIS PAST CARLTON.
- BYE.
- BYE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?
- OH. I JUST HAD
THE MOST HORRIBLE MORNING
AT THE BANK THAT I'VE
EVER HAD IN MY LIFE!
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- I FORGOT MY LUNCH.
SO, RHO, WHAT'S NEW?
- I'M GONNA TELL YOU
WHAT I'VE BEEN DYING
TO TELL EVERYONE WHO'S
INTERRUPTED ME SO FAR THIS MORNING.
GET OUTTA HERE. GET LOST.
- RHODA, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO MINCE WORDS.
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL ME, JUST TELL ME.
- AW, BRENDA, IT'S NOT YOU.
YOU GOTTA KNOW THAT.
IT'S JUST--IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
TO WORK IN THIS APARTMENT.
- OK,
WHY DON'T YOU USE MY PLACE?
I MEAN,
NO ONE EVER COMES BY OR CALLS.
- NAH.
- NO, REALLY, IT'S PERFECT.
I MEAN, I HAVE
AN UNLISTED LIFE.
- WELL, LISTEN, MAYBE
I'LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT.
- YEAH?
- AT LEAST I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.
- GOOD.
- SURE.
- OH, RHODA?
- YEAH?
- I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU.
- MYRNA, I HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
I HAVE NO TIME TO TALK.
- IT'S ALL SO
MEANINGLESS, RHODA.
SO FUTILE.
SO TOTALLY FRUSTRATING.
- MAYBE THIS IS JUST BLIND
INSTINCT HERE, BUT I GOT
A HUNCH SOMETHING'S WRONG.
OK, WHAT IS IT?
- WELL, IN ADDITION
TO MY TEACHING DUTIES,
I VOLUNTEER TO BE
ADVISOR FOR THE SCHOOL PLAY.
- OH.
OH, THE SCHOOL PLAY.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE PLAY
WE DID WHEN WE WERE SENIORS?
- "OUR TOWN."
- RIGHT.
AND YOU WERE EMILY...
AND I WAS THE TOWN.
- ANYWAY, I WANTED TO DO
A PLAY THAT HAD NEVER BEEN DONE
IN SCHOOL.
- MM-HMM.
- I CHOSE "WAR AND PEACE."
- WHAT? YOU MEAN,
THE "WAR AND PEACE?"
- I SPENT MY ENTIRE SUMMER
VACATION ADAPTING THE NOVEL,
MAKING IT INTO A PLAY.
I MANAGED TO CUT IT DOWN
TO 150 SPEAKING PARTS.
AND NOW, THEY
WON'T LET ME DO IT.
- MMM.
MYRNA, IF THE KIDS
ARE ANYTHING LIKE
WE WERE WHEN
WE WENT TO THAT SCHOOL, UH,
THERE AREN'T 150
OF THEM WHO CAN SPEAK.
- IT'S SO TYPICAL
OF THE BUREAUCRACY
I FACE EVERY DAY.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS TEACH,
AND I HAVE TO FILL OUT 10
FORMS TO GET A BLOTTER.
- YEAH.
- AND NOW, THIS.
AND LOOK AT ALL THE WORK
I PUT INTO IT.
- DESIGNING SETS...
- MYRNA...
- DRAWING THE COSTUMES--
- LISTEN, MYRNA, I'D LOVE
TO LOOK AT THESE WITH YOU.
I REALLY WOULD.
BUT I CAN'T.
I HAVE NO TIME.
I HAVE THIS BIG PRESENTATION
I HAVE TO GET READY
FOR TOMORROW.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FIGURED
OUT A THEME FOR IT YET.
I MEAN, I CAN'T COME
UP WITH AN IDEA.
IT'S THE PITS.
- I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR WAY.
- OK.
- THANKS FOR LISTENING, RHODA.
- HEY.
- WHAT?
- NAH. BUT...
- WHAT?
- MAYBE.
"WAR AND PEACE."
THIS COULD BE A THEME
FOR MY WINDOWS.
YEAH.
THE RUSSIAN LOOK IS GOING
TO BE VERY BIG THIS SPRING.
SURE, MYRNA.
I COULD DO, UH, 3 WINDOWS
OF WAR, AND THEN 4 OF PEACE.
YEAH, THE WAR WINDOWS ALL
REDS AND ORANGES, AND THEN THE
PEACE WINDOWS IN PALE COLORS.
PASTELS.
- THIS IS SO EXCITING.
WATCHING THE BIRTH
OF 7 WINDOWS.
- MYRNA, THIS IS SO GOOD.
THIS IS GOOD.
THIS IS, AH!
I'M SO HAPPY I GOT THIS.
NOW, I GOTTA GET A FABRIC.
DO YOU REALIZE
WHAT I JUST DID?
I JUST STOLE YOUR IDEA.
- NO, TAKE IT.
IT'S OK.
PLEASE.
I'M HONORED YOU
WANT TO USE THEM.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
CAN I--CAN I JUST STAY
AND WATCH YOU DO IT?
- SURE. SURE.
- I'LL BE QUIET. I PROMISE.
- I'M JUST GONNA SIT OVER
HERE AND READ 38 ESSAYS
ON THE SYMBOLISM OF
THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER
AND HUCKLEBERRY FINN.
- WELL,
THAT SOUNDS FUN.
- IT'S THE PITS.
- [WHISTLING]
OH, HI, BABE.
- HI, JOE.
HEY, I STOPPED AT THE DELI
AND BOUGHT US SOME DINNER.
- OH.
ME, TOO.
ONLY I WENT TO
THE CHINESE PLACE.
- MY FAVORITE.
SWEET AND SOUR LOX.
AH.
- SO, HOW DID
THE INTERVIEW AT, UH,
MARTINDALE'S GO, HUH?
- TERRIFIC.
REALLY TERRIFIC.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
THE "WAR AND PEACE"
IDEA KNOCKED 'EM OUT.
THEY WERE REALLY
CRAZY ABOUT "WAR."
- THAT'S GREAT.
SO, THEN, YOU GOT
THE JOB, RIGHT?
- NO, NO.
NOT YET, JOE.
NO. WHEN I LEFT,
THERE WERE OVER 5
PEOPLE LEFT WAITING
TO BE INTERVIEWED.
THERE WAS ONE GUY WITH
AN EARRING AND A CHEETAH.
HE MIGHT HAVE SOME
OFF-BEAT IDEAS.
OH, BOY.
IF I SHOULD GET THIS JOB,
JOE, IT WOULD BE HUGE.
MAYBE TOO HUGE.
DO YOU REALIZE I WOULD
BE CARRYING AS FULL
A WORKLOAD AS YOU?
MAYBE MORE?
HOW DOES THAT GRAB YOU?
- RHODA, WHAT'S WRONG?
I MEAN,
YOU WORKED FOR YEARS
FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- IT'S LIKE, ONE DAY, I HOPE
I'M GONNA TO GET A CALL,
AND THEY'LL SAY, "HELLO,
THIS IS PITTSBURGH.
COME ON OVER AND
KNOCK US DOWN."
I MEAN, IT'S SOMETHING
YOU'VE BEEN AIMING FOR,
YOU KNOW?
WHAT IS IT?
UH, ARE YOU AFRAID
YOU CAN'T DO THE JOB?
- NO.
I CAN HANDLE THE JOB.
CAN YOU?
I MEAN, COME ON, JOE.
IT'S GOTTA BOTHER YOU
A LITTLE, TOO, DOESN'T IT?
- OK, I'LL ADMIT.
THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT
ISN'T CRAZY ABOUT IT.
BUT, RHODA, YOU GOTTA
UNDERSTAND, I WENT THROUGH
A MARRIAGE WHERE
MY WIFE DIDN'T WORK,
AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
MAYBE IF SHE HAD WORKED,
IT WOULD HAVE WORKED.
I MEAN, LOOK AT US.
YOU'RE WORKING,
AND IT'S WORKING.
- OH, JOE.
YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE
RIGHT, THERE.
BUT IF I DO GET THE JOB,
I CAN'T WORK AT HOME HERE.
I'LL NEED MY OWN OFFICE.
AND THAT'S EXPENSIVE.
I MEAN, HOW MUCH DOES
YOUR OFFICE COST?
- OH, IT'S NOT BAD.
- YEAH,
BUT YOUR PLACE IS A DUMP.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HELLO?
HELLO, MR. CRITCHFIELD.
IT'S THE GUY
FROM MARTINDALE'S.
WHAT?
I WHAT?
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU MUST BE KIDDING.
OH.
NO. OF COURSE
YOU'RE NOT KIDDING.
IT WOULD BE MEAN AND CRUMMY
TO KID A PERSON LIKE THAT.
I GOT THE JOB.
OH, BOY.
I-I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW
MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.
I'M TELLING YOU, THANK YOU.
YES, I'LL BE THERE
FIRST THING TOMORROW.
AND THANKS AGAIN.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
I BEAT OUT 20 PEOPLE
AND A CHEETAH.
HA HA!
OH, JOE, THIS MAKES
ME FEEL SO TERRIFIC.
I MEAN, I FEEL GREAT.
HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?
- OH,
IT MAKES ME FEEL GREAT.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
- I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
- OHH.
- WHAT DO YOU
SAY WE CELEBRATE?
DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT?
- NAH, LET'S STAY HERE.
THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST HOME
COOKED MEAL FOR A WHILE.
- HEY,
THIS IS LOOKING GOOD, JOE.
- HELLO.
- OH,
MR. PENNICK, HELLO.
JOE, THIS IS THE
BUILDING MANAGER.
MR. PENNICK,
THIS IS MY HUSBAND.
- HI, MR. PENNICK.
- HELLO.
- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- WE'RE PAINTING THE OFFICE.
- WE JUST PAINTED IT,
BEFORE YOU MOVED IN.
- YOU'RE KIDDING?
THAT YUCKY BROWN?
THE COLOR THAT--I THOUGHT THAT
WAS A COLOR THAT ANOTHER COLOR
TURNED WHEN IT SPOILED.
- WHAT'D YOU DO
WITH THIS DESK?
IT SAYS HERE, "ONE GREY,
METAL DESK."
- YES, YES.
UNDER THE CONTACT PAPER
IS ONE GREY, METAL DESK.
ONE CRUDDY-LOOKING, CHIPPED,
GREY, METAL DESK,
WHICH I FIXED.
- I DON'T KNOW.
THEY'RE NOT GOING
TO LIKE THIS.
- THEY?
WHO ARE THEY, MR. PENNICK?
THE YUCKY, BROWN PAINT AND THE
GREY, METAL DESK SYNDICATE?
- I WAS GONNA SEND THIS HOME
WITH YOUR WIFE FOR YOU
TO SIGN, BUT
SINCE YOU'RE HERE...
- OH, SURE.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU SIGNING?
- IT'S YOUR LEASE.
- OH.
WELL THEN,
SHOULDN'T I SIGN IT?
I MEAN,
UH, THIS IS, UH, MY OFFICE?
- THEY PREFER THAT THE MAN
OF THE HOUSE SIGN IT.
- OHH.
I GET IT. I SEE.
BUT THIS ISN'T
A HOUSE, MR. PENNICK.
THIS IS AN OFFICE.
MY OFFICE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S HER OFFICE.
- I GOTCHA.
IT'S HER OFFICE.
HA HA HA.
OH, LOOK, DON'T
MISUNDERSTAND ME.
I THINK IT'S TERRIFIC,
WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
I MEAN,
NOT MANY GUYS WOULD SET UP
THEIR WIVES
WITH A BUSINESS LIKE THIS.
- NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'M NOT SETTING
HER UP IN THIS.
- RIGHT.
GOTCHA.
- MR. PENNICK.
I AM PAYING FOR THIS OUT
OF MY OWN MONEY.
- RIGHT.
GOTCHA.
- BUT I AM.
- RIGHT.
- STOP WINKING.
- I'M NOT WINKING.
- WELL, HE IS,
AND YOU'RE ACCEPTING IT.
- AREN'T YOU GONNA READ IT?
- UH, I HAVE
A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
I WILL READ IT LATER.
- CUTE.
- WHAT?
- THIS IS THE FIRST LEASE
I'VE EVER GOTTEN SIGNED
WITH PINK INK.
"WINDOWS BY RHODA."
WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH WINDOWS, ANYWAY?
MAKE 'EM, LIKE
STAINED GLASS ONES?
- NO. I WASH 'EM.
- HEY, RHODA?
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE
OVERREACTING A BIT?
- NO.
- I MEAN, IT WASN'T
THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
- IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL?
IT WAS THAT BIG
A DEAL, JOE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE
THIS ALL THE TIME.
I DO.
WHENEVER I TAKE A CLIENT
OUT TO LUNCH AND IT'S A MAN,
I PAY THE BILL.
THEY BRING HIM THE CHANGE.
- HERE YA ARE.
- OH, THANKS, LEO.
- TUNA?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- OR...TUNA.
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
- DO YOU SEE THAT?
- YEAH.
- THANK YOU.
- HEY, MISS, HOW DO
YOU SPELL YOUR LAST NAME?
- UH, GERARD.
G-E-R-A-R-D.
- THAT DON'T SOUND RIGHT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A LONG ONE.
- IT IS.
MORGENSTERN.
EXCUSE ME.
MORGEN, WITH AN "E," STERN.
- HEY,
HOW COME YOU'RE USING
YOUR OLD NAME?
- WELL, JOE.
YOU SEE, I GAVE A LOT
OF THOUGHT TO THIS.
AND I REALIZED
THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE
IN THE WINDOW-DRESSING BUSINESS
KNOW ME AS MORGENSTERN.
AND BESIDES, IT'S NOT MY
OLD NAME, THAT'S WHO I AM.
SOMETHING I'LL ALWAYS HAVE.
LIKE THESE SIGNS.
HEY, JOE, LISTEN.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I NEED TO
BE RHODA MORGENSTERN, YOU KNOW?
BUT THERE'S A PART OF MY
LIFE WHERE I JUST LOVE
BEING MRS. GERARD.
- OH, YEAH?
WHEN'S THAT?
- OH, COME ON.
A LOT OF THE TIME.
SOMETIMES WHEN MY
MOTHER COMES OVER.
SOMETIMES WHEN I MEET
AN OLD BOYFRIEND.
AND, UH, ALL THE TIME,
JUST AFTER LIGHTS OUT.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- HELLO.
RHODA MORGENSTERN.
OH, HIYA, MR. EDWARDS.
WHAT?
OH.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
SURE. OF COURSE.
UH, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I WAS WORKING ON YOUR WINDOW
DISPLAY RIGHT
THIS VERY MINUTE.
OH, YEAH.
UH, WELL, RATHER THAN DESCRIBE
IT TO YOU, I WOULD RATHER JUST
HAVE YOU SEE IT YOURSELF.
UH-HUH.
ABSOLUTELY TOMORROW.
I PROMISE.
THE ESTIMATE?
WELL, THAT I CAN
GIVE YOU RIGHT NOW.
SURE.
YES.
HOW IS BUSINESS, MR. EDWARDS?
YEAH? IS EVERYTHING GOOD?
WELL, IT'S SLOW FOR EVERYBODY.
UH, LOOK, WHY DON'T I CALL
YOU BACK WITH THE ESTIMATE, HUH?
VERY GOOD. BYE.
WHERE IS IT?
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- OH.
HELLO? RHODA MORGENSTERN.
OH, HELLO, MR. PATTERSON.
TOMORROW?
NO, NO, NO.
THE DISPLAY ISN'T
DUE UNTIL FRIDAY.
NO, NO.
TOMORROW ISN'T FRIDAY.
IT IS NOT, I'M LOOKING
AT MY CALENDAR.
WAIT A MINUTE,
I'M IN JUNE, HERE.
OH, I-I-I'M SORRY,
MR. PATTERSON.
OF COURSE IT'S TOMORROW.
YEAH, AND YOU'LL HAVE IT.
I'LL BE THERE.
OK.
SEE YA.
OH, NO.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
RHODA MORGENSTERN.
- HELLO,
THIS IS JOE GERARD.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF MY
WIFE WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE'S
GONNA COME HOME?
- AH,
YEAH, JOE, SHE'S HERE.
AND SHE HAS NO IDEA
WHEN SHE'S GONNA BE HOME.
- WELL,
THIS MORNING YOU SAID YOU WERE
GONNA BE HOME EARLY TODAY.
- I KNOW, I KNOW, DARLING,
BUT THINGS HAVE JUST GOTTEN
SUDDENLY NUTS AROUND HERE.
- WELL,
LOOK, HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS
GOING TO GO ON?
- WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO, QUIT?
OK.
OK, I'LL QUIT.
ONLY ONE PROBLEM, JOE.
WHAT'LL WE DO WITH THIS
OFFICE FOR THE NEXT 11 MONTHS?
- WELL,
I ALWAYS WANTED A DEN.
- JOE, LISTEN.
I'M A LITTLE CRAZY RIGHT NOW,
I GOTTA TELL YOU THAT.
SO, I THINK IT'S BEST
WE TALK ABOUT THIS
WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER.
- FINE. THAT'S JUST FINE.
NOW, WHEN IS THAT GONNA BE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
BUT, PLEASE, PLEASE JUST
HANG IN THERE, JOE, HUH?
- HEY, RHODA, WHAT DO
YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING?
- WELL--
- GOOD-BYE.
- JOE.
AHH.
OH.
- HELLO, RHODA.
- MYRNA, I CAN'T
TALK TO ANYBODY NOW!
MY LIFE IS FALLING APART!
I HAVE A TON OF WORK TO DO!
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
- OK, THEN.
- I'M NOT LEAVING, RHODA.
I CAME IN TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING BEFORE YOU
THREW ME OUT.
- I'M SORRY I DID THAT, MYRNA.
I'M JUST SO HASSLED HERE,
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
AND MAYBE I CAN
HELP YOU THERE.
- WELL, I APPRECIATE
YOUR CONCERN BUT--
- YOU SEE, I'M
A WORK HORSE, TOO.
I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO COULD NEVER SAY "NO" TO
ANYONE, SO I ALWAYS GOT TOO
MUCH WORK TO DO AND THOUGHT
I COULD NEVER FINISH ANYTHING,
AND IT DROVE ME CRAZY.
- YEAH. WELL...
- BUT THEN, ONE DAY I SAID
TO MYSELF, "MYRNA?
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE LATE TURNING
IN YOUR PROGRESS REPORTS?
"IS MR. LEFCOURT GONNA KILL YA?
HECK, NO."
AND ONCE I CAME TO
THAT REALIZATION, A CALM
CAME OVER ME.
A KIND OF PEACEFUL, BLISSFUL--
- MYRNA, GET TO THE POINT!
- THE POINT IS...ONCE I
RELAXED, I DID BETTER WORK.
AND THAT IS WHAT
YOU SHOULD DO.
- THANK YOU.
- NOW, COME ON.
- WHAT?
- I WANT YOU
TO SIT OVER HERE...
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- AND RELAX.
- MYRNA, I CAN'T!
I HAVE WORK TO DO!
- RHODA!
TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF
AND WIGGLE YOUR TOES.
- MYRNA.
- RHODA.
I'M WIGGLING.
I'M WIGGLING.
- WOULD YOU LIKE
A CUP OF COFFEE?
- YEAH. I WOULD LOVE IT.
- I BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT
YOU'D BE GETTING ADVICE
FROM ME, HUH?
BUT THIS IS ONE
THING I'M GOOD AT.
WORK.
I'M NOT GOOD AT LIFE.
AND I'M NOT GOOD AT MEN.
BUT I'M GOOD AT WORK.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
- FINE.
- DON'T DO THAT, RHODA.
THIS IS YOUR BREAK.
RELAX.
WE'LL CHAT.
HOW'S JOE?
- NOT GOOD.
OTHERWISE, HE'S FINE.
- GOOD.
- SO, HOW'S SCHOOL?
- I QUIT.
- WHAT?
I'M SITTING HERE, COMPLAINING,
AND YOU JUST QUIT
AN ENTIRE CAREER?
MYRNA, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY SOMETHING?
- I WAS GOING TO, BUT YOU
DIDN'T SEEM TO BE IN THE MOOD
TO HEAR IT, THEN.
- OH.
WELL, WHY DID YOU QUIT?
I THOUGHT YOU LOVED TEACHING?
- I QUIT BECAUSE I HAVE
THIS URGE TO BE CREATIVE,
AND THEY WOULDN'T LET ME.
I COULDN'T GET IT OFF, THERE.
- MYRNA, THIS IS SUCH
A MAJOR STEP TO TAKE.
I MEAN,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING.
BUT THAT NIGHT AT BRENDA'S,
WHEN I DROPPED BY AND
HELPED YOU WITH THAT IDEA,
IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING,
STIMULATING NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
- YOU POOR KID.
- AND THEN THE OTHER DAY,
I WENT BY MARTINDALE'S,
AND I SAW YOUR "WAR AND PEACE"
WINDOWS, AND, AS I STOOD
THERE, AMONG THE
CROWD ON THE SIDEWALK,
A THRILL WENT THROUGH ME.
- WHEN YOU WERE STANDING
THERE, WAS THERE A CROWD
BEHIND YOU?
YOU SURE THIS THRILL YOU
FELT WAS OF YOUR OWN DOING?
- RHODA, YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO IT.
IT'S VERY EXCITING,
WHAT YOU DO, RHODA.
AND I WANT
TO DO IT, TOO.
- MYRNA, PLEASE.
COME ON.
A PERSON DOESN'T QUIT
A JOB AND BECOME
A WINDOW DRESSER OVERNIGHT.
- WELL, HOW DID YOU
GET STARTED, THEN?
- WELL, I QUIT A JOB.
YEAH. BUT--BUT I HAD
HAD SOME ART TRAINING.
- I'VE HAD SOME ART TRAINING.
- BUT I APPRENTICED
WITH SOMEONE WHO SHOWED ME
THE ROPES.
- I COULD DO THAT, TOO, RHODA.
IF I COULD FIND SOMEONE
WHO WAS TALENTED AND PATIENT
AND MAYBE OVERWORKED ENOUGH TO
SHOW ME THOSE VERY SAME ROPES.
DO YOU READ ME, RHODA?
- MYRNA, LISTEN.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A GOOD
IDEA FOR FRIENDS TO, YOU KNOW.
- FORTUNATELY, I DON'T
FEEL WE'RE THAT CLOSE YET.
- WELL...NAH, NAH.
TH-THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.
IT'S TOO LOGICAL.
MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE.
BUT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
SOMEBODY WHO RESISTED
ANYTHING THAT
SOUNDED TOO EASY, YOU KNOW.
LIKE WHEN THEY FIRST BROUGHT
OUT PANTYHOSE, I THOUGHT THEY
COULDN'T WORK.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- OH, MYRNA, LISTEN, NO.
I DON'T THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- I'LL GET THAT.
GOOD AFTERNOON,
WINDOWS BY RHODA.
YES, MR. EDWARDS.
- I FORGOT TO CALL HIM BACK.
- THE ESTIMATE FOR
THE WINDOW TOMORROW?
JUST ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A WINDOW
FOR BIG ED'S MEN'S SHOP?
- MYRNA, I GOT MYSELF
INTO SUCH A BIND, YOU WON'T
BELIEVE IT.
I PROMISED TWO STORES
DISPLAYS FOR TOMORROW.
AND I CAN'T--
- YES,
MR. EDWARDS, I'M SORRY.
THIS IS MS. MORGENSTEIN,
MS. MORGENSTERN'S ASSOCIATE.
I'M AFRAID I'VE MADE
A MISTAKE IN HER SCHEDULE.
WOULD IT BE TERRIBLY,
UH, INCONVENIENT
IF WE POSTPONED THAT
UNTIL NEXT WEEK?
GOOD.
WHY, THANK YOU, MR. EDWARDS.
ALL RIGHT, "BIG ED."
A DRINK SOMETIME?
WHY, YES, THAT SOUNDS
VERY REFRESHING.
MMM. CIAO TO YOU, TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M FINISHING MY COFFEE.
I AM WIGGLING MY TOES.
MS. MORGENSTEIN,
HOLD ALL CALLS.
- THE GUY TOLD ME YOU
WANT TO ADD ANOTHER NAME
UNDER THE "R. MORGENSTERN" HERE.
- YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, LEO.
"M. MORGENSTEIN.
ASSOCIATE."
- MORGENSTERN AND MORGENSTEIN.
YOU GIRLS SISTERS?
- HELLO, JOE.
LISTEN, GREAT NEWS.
GREAT.
I'M GOING TO BE HOME
EARLY, AFTER ALL.
WE CAN HAVE A NICE
DINNER TOGETHER.
TIME TO TALK AFTERWARDS.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND GREAT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"WHO IS THIS?"
IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX,
NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
I'VE ALWAYS FELT
RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.
THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER
LIKING THAT LIKED ME
BACK WAS FOOD.
I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.
IT LASTED 17 YEARS.
I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.
I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.
MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS
ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.
I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF
THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.
MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO
THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY
FROM HOME.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO
MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD,
AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS
YOUR LAST CHANCE.
- NO, THANK YOU.
I CAN'T USE ANY OF YOUR STUFF.
- AVOCADO FACIAL MASK?
- UH-UH.
- OLIVE OIL MOISTURIZER?
- MISS,
I-I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I'M
TRYING TO GET SOME WORK DONE.
YOU SEE, I WORK AT HOME.
- THIS IS GOOD STUFF.
I USE IT MYSELF,
AND LOOK HOW
YOUTHFUL MY SKIN LOOKS.
- OK,
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
- 22.
- TOO BAD.
IF YOU SAID "53,"
I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT
THE WHOLE FRANCHISE.
- CARLTON?
- HELLO? THIS IS CARL--
- YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
CARLTON, LISTEN TO ME.
I TOLD YOU BEFORE, I'M
GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN.
I'M NOT HOME.
SO, DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE UP.
DO YOU KNOW I JUST HAD TO
GET RID OF A WOMAN SELLING
COSMETICS DOOR-TO-DOOR?
- I'LL GO FIND HER RIGHT AWAY.
I COULD USE A NEW
BOTTLE OF AFTERSHAVE.
- [SIGHING]
- HI, BABE. SURPRISE.
- HI, JOE.
- I WAS ON A JOB IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD SO I FIGURED,
WHY BUY LUNCH WHEN
I'M SO CLOSE TO HOME?
- LISTEN, BABE, I REALLY
WOULD LIKE TO COOK SOME
LUNCH FOR YOU,
MAKE YOU SOMETHING,
BUT I CAN'T, I'M TOO BUSY.
I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH
AN IDEA FOR THIS NEW JOB
I'M UP FOR.
- OH, THAT'S OK.
I DON'T NEED SOMEONE
TO FIX ME LUNCH.
I'LL JUST HAVE SOME FRUIT
AND CHEESE AND STUFF.
- OH, GOOD.
- WHAT NEW JOB IS THAT?
- IT'S MARTINDALE'S.
BOY, IF I GET THIS, IT'LL
BE THE BIGGEST ACCOUNT
I'VE EVER GOTTEN.
I MEAN,
UP 'TIL NOW, THE BIGGEST WAS
WHEN TIE CITY ADDED BELTS.
- OH,
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- YEAH.
- SAY, WHERE'S THE CHEESE?
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULD
MAKE YOUR LUNCH YOURSELF?
- OH, YEAH, I CAN MAKE IT.
I JUST CAN'T FIND IT.
- I SEE.
OK.
YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE IDEA
OF WORKING AT HOME
IS REALLY AWFUL. IT IS.
BECAUSE I'M HOME, PEOPLE FEEL
FREE TO JUST DROP IN WHENEVER
THEY LIKE.
LOOK, EVEN YOU.
OK.
OK, YOU'RE ALLOWED.
- ALL I WANT IS LUNCH.
- I KNOW.
BOY, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL
DAY OUT THERE, HUH?
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE?
- HMM?
- I'D LIKE TO EAT
LUNCH IN THE PARK.
- WOULDN'T YOU?
- YEAH, SURE.
- AND WHAT
A PERFECT LUNCH FOR IT.
I MEAN, FRUIT, CHEESE,
A LITTLE FRENCH BREAD, RIGHT?
SOME WINE?
SIT UNDER A TREE.
NUTS. HERE.
TAKE A SQUIRREL TO LUNCH.
YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?
I MEAN,
YOU'RE A DISTRACTION.
A GREAT DISTRACTION,
BUT A DISTRACTION.
I FIGURE, IF I'M ALONE
FOR A WHILE, I CAN GET THIS
WORK DONE. OK?
- SURE.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
- OH, HIYA, BREN.
- YOU ON YOUR WAY TO
GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE?
- I'M NOT GONNA CARRY
THIS IN THE PARK.
I'M ALSO NOT GONNA
CARRY THIS PAST CARLTON.
- BYE.
- BYE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?
- OH. I JUST HAD
THE MOST HORRIBLE MORNING
AT THE BANK THAT I'VE
EVER HAD IN MY LIFE!
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- I FORGOT MY LUNCH.
SO, RHO, WHAT'S NEW?
- I'M GONNA TELL YOU
WHAT I'VE BEEN DYING
TO TELL EVERYONE WHO'S
INTERRUPTED ME SO FAR THIS MORNING.
GET OUTTA HERE. GET LOST.
- RHODA, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO MINCE WORDS.
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL ME, JUST TELL ME.
- AW, BRENDA, IT'S NOT YOU.
YOU GOTTA KNOW THAT.
IT'S JUST--IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
TO WORK IN THIS APARTMENT.
- OK,
WHY DON'T YOU USE MY PLACE?
I MEAN,
NO ONE EVER COMES BY OR CALLS.
- NAH.
- NO, REALLY, IT'S PERFECT.
I MEAN, I HAVE
AN UNLISTED LIFE.
- WELL, LISTEN, MAYBE
I'LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT.
- YEAH?
- AT LEAST I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.
- GOOD.
- SURE.
- OH, RHODA?
- YEAH?
- I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU.
- MYRNA, I HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
I HAVE NO TIME TO TALK.
- IT'S ALL SO
MEANINGLESS, RHODA.
SO FUTILE.
SO TOTALLY FRUSTRATING.
- MAYBE THIS IS JUST BLIND
INSTINCT HERE, BUT I GOT
A HUNCH SOMETHING'S WRONG.
OK, WHAT IS IT?
- WELL, IN ADDITION
TO MY TEACHING DUTIES,
I VOLUNTEER TO BE
ADVISOR FOR THE SCHOOL PLAY.
- OH.
OH, THE SCHOOL PLAY.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE PLAY
WE DID WHEN WE WERE SENIORS?
- "OUR TOWN."
- RIGHT.
AND YOU WERE EMILY...
AND I WAS THE TOWN.
- ANYWAY, I WANTED TO DO
A PLAY THAT HAD NEVER BEEN DONE
IN SCHOOL.
- MM-HMM.
- I CHOSE "WAR AND PEACE."
- WHAT? YOU MEAN,
THE "WAR AND PEACE?"
- I SPENT MY ENTIRE SUMMER
VACATION ADAPTING THE NOVEL,
MAKING IT INTO A PLAY.
I MANAGED TO CUT IT DOWN
TO 150 SPEAKING PARTS.
AND NOW, THEY
WON'T LET ME DO IT.
- MMM.
MYRNA, IF THE KIDS
ARE ANYTHING LIKE
WE WERE WHEN
WE WENT TO THAT SCHOOL, UH,
THERE AREN'T 150
OF THEM WHO CAN SPEAK.
- IT'S SO TYPICAL
OF THE BUREAUCRACY
I FACE EVERY DAY.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS TEACH,
AND I HAVE TO FILL OUT 10
FORMS TO GET A BLOTTER.
- YEAH.
- AND NOW, THIS.
AND LOOK AT ALL THE WORK
I PUT INTO IT.
- DESIGNING SETS...
- MYRNA...
- DRAWING THE COSTUMES--
- LISTEN, MYRNA, I'D LOVE
TO LOOK AT THESE WITH YOU.
I REALLY WOULD.
BUT I CAN'T.
I HAVE NO TIME.
I HAVE THIS BIG PRESENTATION
I HAVE TO GET READY
FOR TOMORROW.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FIGURED
OUT A THEME FOR IT YET.
I MEAN, I CAN'T COME
UP WITH AN IDEA.
IT'S THE PITS.
- I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR WAY.
- OK.
- THANKS FOR LISTENING, RHODA.
- HEY.
- WHAT?
- NAH. BUT...
- WHAT?
- MAYBE.
"WAR AND PEACE."
THIS COULD BE A THEME
FOR MY WINDOWS.
YEAH.
THE RUSSIAN LOOK IS GOING
TO BE VERY BIG THIS SPRING.
SURE, MYRNA.
I COULD DO, UH, 3 WINDOWS
OF WAR, AND THEN 4 OF PEACE.
YEAH, THE WAR WINDOWS ALL
REDS AND ORANGES, AND THEN THE
PEACE WINDOWS IN PALE COLORS.
PASTELS.
- THIS IS SO EXCITING.
WATCHING THE BIRTH
OF 7 WINDOWS.
- MYRNA, THIS IS SO GOOD.
THIS IS GOOD.
THIS IS, AH!
I'M SO HAPPY I GOT THIS.
NOW, I GOTTA GET A FABRIC.
DO YOU REALIZE
WHAT I JUST DID?
I JUST STOLE YOUR IDEA.
- NO, TAKE IT.
IT'S OK.
PLEASE.
I'M HONORED YOU
WANT TO USE THEM.
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
CAN I--CAN I JUST STAY
AND WATCH YOU DO IT?
- SURE. SURE.
- I'LL BE QUIET. I PROMISE.
- I'M JUST GONNA SIT OVER
HERE AND READ 38 ESSAYS
ON THE SYMBOLISM OF
THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER
AND HUCKLEBERRY FINN.
- WELL,
THAT SOUNDS FUN.
- IT'S THE PITS.
- [WHISTLING]
OH, HI, BABE.
- HI, JOE.
HEY, I STOPPED AT THE DELI
AND BOUGHT US SOME DINNER.
- OH.
ME, TOO.
ONLY I WENT TO
THE CHINESE PLACE.
- MY FAVORITE.
SWEET AND SOUR LOX.
AH.
- SO, HOW DID
THE INTERVIEW AT, UH,
MARTINDALE'S GO, HUH?
- TERRIFIC.
REALLY TERRIFIC.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
THE "WAR AND PEACE"
IDEA KNOCKED 'EM OUT.
THEY WERE REALLY
CRAZY ABOUT "WAR."
- THAT'S GREAT.
SO, THEN, YOU GOT
THE JOB, RIGHT?
- NO, NO.
NOT YET, JOE.
NO. WHEN I LEFT,
THERE WERE OVER 5
PEOPLE LEFT WAITING
TO BE INTERVIEWED.
THERE WAS ONE GUY WITH
AN EARRING AND A CHEETAH.
HE MIGHT HAVE SOME
OFF-BEAT IDEAS.
OH, BOY.
IF I SHOULD GET THIS JOB,
JOE, IT WOULD BE HUGE.
MAYBE TOO HUGE.
DO YOU REALIZE I WOULD
BE CARRYING AS FULL
A WORKLOAD AS YOU?
MAYBE MORE?
HOW DOES THAT GRAB YOU?
- RHODA, WHAT'S WRONG?
I MEAN,
YOU WORKED FOR YEARS
FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- IT'S LIKE, ONE DAY, I HOPE
I'M GONNA TO GET A CALL,
AND THEY'LL SAY, "HELLO,
THIS IS PITTSBURGH.
COME ON OVER AND
KNOCK US DOWN."
I MEAN, IT'S SOMETHING
YOU'VE BEEN AIMING FOR,
YOU KNOW?
WHAT IS IT?
UH, ARE YOU AFRAID
YOU CAN'T DO THE JOB?
- NO.
I CAN HANDLE THE JOB.
CAN YOU?
I MEAN, COME ON, JOE.
IT'S GOTTA BOTHER YOU
A LITTLE, TOO, DOESN'T IT?
- OK, I'LL ADMIT.
THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT
ISN'T CRAZY ABOUT IT.
BUT, RHODA, YOU GOTTA
UNDERSTAND, I WENT THROUGH
A MARRIAGE WHERE
MY WIFE DIDN'T WORK,
AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
MAYBE IF SHE HAD WORKED,
IT WOULD HAVE WORKED.
I MEAN, LOOK AT US.
YOU'RE WORKING,
AND IT'S WORKING.
- OH, JOE.
YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE
RIGHT, THERE.
BUT IF I DO GET THE JOB,
I CAN'T WORK AT HOME HERE.
I'LL NEED MY OWN OFFICE.
AND THAT'S EXPENSIVE.
I MEAN, HOW MUCH DOES
YOUR OFFICE COST?
- OH, IT'S NOT BAD.
- YEAH,
BUT YOUR PLACE IS A DUMP.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HELLO?
HELLO, MR. CRITCHFIELD.
IT'S THE GUY
FROM MARTINDALE'S.
WHAT?
I WHAT?
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU MUST BE KIDDING.
OH.
NO. OF COURSE
YOU'RE NOT KIDDING.
IT WOULD BE MEAN AND CRUMMY
TO KID A PERSON LIKE THAT.
I GOT THE JOB.
OH, BOY.
I-I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW
MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.
I'M TELLING YOU, THANK YOU.
YES, I'LL BE THERE
FIRST THING TOMORROW.
AND THANKS AGAIN.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
I BEAT OUT 20 PEOPLE
AND A CHEETAH.
HA HA!
OH, JOE, THIS MAKES
ME FEEL SO TERRIFIC.
I MEAN, I FEEL GREAT.
HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?
- OH,
IT MAKES ME FEEL GREAT.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
- I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
- OHH.
- WHAT DO YOU
SAY WE CELEBRATE?
DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT?
- NAH, LET'S STAY HERE.
THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST HOME
COOKED MEAL FOR A WHILE.
- HEY,
THIS IS LOOKING GOOD, JOE.
- HELLO.
- OH,
MR. PENNICK, HELLO.
JOE, THIS IS THE
BUILDING MANAGER.
MR. PENNICK,
THIS IS MY HUSBAND.
- HI, MR. PENNICK.
- HELLO.
- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- WE'RE PAINTING THE OFFICE.
- WE JUST PAINTED IT,
BEFORE YOU MOVED IN.
- YOU'RE KIDDING?
THAT YUCKY BROWN?
THE COLOR THAT--I THOUGHT THAT
WAS A COLOR THAT ANOTHER COLOR
TURNED WHEN IT SPOILED.
- WHAT'D YOU DO
WITH THIS DESK?
IT SAYS HERE, "ONE GREY,
METAL DESK."
- YES, YES.
UNDER THE CONTACT PAPER
IS ONE GREY, METAL DESK.
ONE CRUDDY-LOOKING, CHIPPED,
GREY, METAL DESK,
WHICH I FIXED.
- I DON'T KNOW.
THEY'RE NOT GOING
TO LIKE THIS.
- THEY?
WHO ARE THEY, MR. PENNICK?
THE YUCKY, BROWN PAINT AND THE
GREY, METAL DESK SYNDICATE?
- I WAS GONNA SEND THIS HOME
WITH YOUR WIFE FOR YOU
TO SIGN, BUT
SINCE YOU'RE HERE...
- OH, SURE.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU SIGNING?
- IT'S YOUR LEASE.
- OH.
WELL THEN,
SHOULDN'T I SIGN IT?
I MEAN,
UH, THIS IS, UH, MY OFFICE?
- THEY PREFER THAT THE MAN
OF THE HOUSE SIGN IT.
- OHH.
I GET IT. I SEE.
BUT THIS ISN'T
A HOUSE, MR. PENNICK.
THIS IS AN OFFICE.
MY OFFICE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S HER OFFICE.
- I GOTCHA.
IT'S HER OFFICE.
HA HA HA.
OH, LOOK, DON'T
MISUNDERSTAND ME.
I THINK IT'S TERRIFIC,
WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
I MEAN,
NOT MANY GUYS WOULD SET UP
THEIR WIVES
WITH A BUSINESS LIKE THIS.
- NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'M NOT SETTING
HER UP IN THIS.
- RIGHT.
GOTCHA.
- MR. PENNICK.
I AM PAYING FOR THIS OUT
OF MY OWN MONEY.
- RIGHT.
GOTCHA.
- BUT I AM.
- RIGHT.
- STOP WINKING.
- I'M NOT WINKING.
- WELL, HE IS,
AND YOU'RE ACCEPTING IT.
- AREN'T YOU GONNA READ IT?
- UH, I HAVE
A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
I WILL READ IT LATER.
- CUTE.
- WHAT?
- THIS IS THE FIRST LEASE
I'VE EVER GOTTEN SIGNED
WITH PINK INK.
"WINDOWS BY RHODA."
WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH WINDOWS, ANYWAY?
MAKE 'EM, LIKE
STAINED GLASS ONES?
- NO. I WASH 'EM.
- HEY, RHODA?
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE
OVERREACTING A BIT?
- NO.
- I MEAN, IT WASN'T
THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
- IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL?
IT WAS THAT BIG
A DEAL, JOE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE
THIS ALL THE TIME.
I DO.
WHENEVER I TAKE A CLIENT
OUT TO LUNCH AND IT'S A MAN,
I PAY THE BILL.
THEY BRING HIM THE CHANGE.
- HERE YA ARE.
- OH, THANKS, LEO.
- TUNA?
- YEAH, YEAH.
- OR...TUNA.
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
- DO YOU SEE THAT?
- YEAH.
- THANK YOU.
- HEY, MISS, HOW DO
YOU SPELL YOUR LAST NAME?
- UH, GERARD.
G-E-R-A-R-D.
- THAT DON'T SOUND RIGHT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A LONG ONE.
- IT IS.
MORGENSTERN.
EXCUSE ME.
MORGEN, WITH AN "E," STERN.
- HEY,
HOW COME YOU'RE USING
YOUR OLD NAME?
- WELL, JOE.
YOU SEE, I GAVE A LOT
OF THOUGHT TO THIS.
AND I REALIZED
THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE
IN THE WINDOW-DRESSING BUSINESS
KNOW ME AS MORGENSTERN.
AND BESIDES, IT'S NOT MY
OLD NAME, THAT'S WHO I AM.
SOMETHING I'LL ALWAYS HAVE.
LIKE THESE SIGNS.
HEY, JOE, LISTEN.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I NEED TO
BE RHODA MORGENSTERN, YOU KNOW?
BUT THERE'S A PART OF MY
LIFE WHERE I JUST LOVE
BEING MRS. GERARD.
- OH, YEAH?
WHEN'S THAT?
- OH, COME ON.
A LOT OF THE TIME.
SOMETIMES WHEN MY
MOTHER COMES OVER.
SOMETIMES WHEN I MEET
AN OLD BOYFRIEND.
AND, UH, ALL THE TIME,
JUST AFTER LIGHTS OUT.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- HELLO.
RHODA MORGENSTERN.
OH, HIYA, MR. EDWARDS.
WHAT?
OH.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
SURE. OF COURSE.
UH, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I WAS WORKING ON YOUR WINDOW
DISPLAY RIGHT
THIS VERY MINUTE.
OH, YEAH.
UH, WELL, RATHER THAN DESCRIBE
IT TO YOU, I WOULD RATHER JUST
HAVE YOU SEE IT YOURSELF.
UH-HUH.
ABSOLUTELY TOMORROW.
I PROMISE.
THE ESTIMATE?
WELL, THAT I CAN
GIVE YOU RIGHT NOW.
SURE.
YES.
HOW IS BUSINESS, MR. EDWARDS?
YEAH? IS EVERYTHING GOOD?
WELL, IT'S SLOW FOR EVERYBODY.
UH, LOOK, WHY DON'T I CALL
YOU BACK WITH THE ESTIMATE, HUH?
VERY GOOD. BYE.
WHERE IS IT?
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- OH.
HELLO? RHODA MORGENSTERN.
OH, HELLO, MR. PATTERSON.
TOMORROW?
NO, NO, NO.
THE DISPLAY ISN'T
DUE UNTIL FRIDAY.
NO, NO.
TOMORROW ISN'T FRIDAY.
IT IS NOT, I'M LOOKING
AT MY CALENDAR.
WAIT A MINUTE,
I'M IN JUNE, HERE.
OH, I-I-I'M SORRY,
MR. PATTERSON.
OF COURSE IT'S TOMORROW.
YEAH, AND YOU'LL HAVE IT.
I'LL BE THERE.
OK.
SEE YA.
OH, NO.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
RHODA MORGENSTERN.
- HELLO,
THIS IS JOE GERARD.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF MY
WIFE WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE'S
GONNA COME HOME?
- AH,
YEAH, JOE, SHE'S HERE.
AND SHE HAS NO IDEA
WHEN SHE'S GONNA BE HOME.
- WELL,
THIS MORNING YOU SAID YOU WERE
GONNA BE HOME EARLY TODAY.
- I KNOW, I KNOW, DARLING,
BUT THINGS HAVE JUST GOTTEN
SUDDENLY NUTS AROUND HERE.
- WELL,
LOOK, HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS
GOING TO GO ON?
- WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO, QUIT?
OK.
OK, I'LL QUIT.
ONLY ONE PROBLEM, JOE.
WHAT'LL WE DO WITH THIS
OFFICE FOR THE NEXT 11 MONTHS?
- WELL,
I ALWAYS WANTED A DEN.
- JOE, LISTEN.
I'M A LITTLE CRAZY RIGHT NOW,
I GOTTA TELL YOU THAT.
SO, I THINK IT'S BEST
WE TALK ABOUT THIS
WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER.
- FINE. THAT'S JUST FINE.
NOW, WHEN IS THAT GONNA BE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
BUT, PLEASE, PLEASE JUST
HANG IN THERE, JOE, HUH?
- HEY, RHODA, WHAT DO
YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING?
- WELL--
- GOOD-BYE.
- JOE.
AHH.
OH.
- HELLO, RHODA.
- MYRNA, I CAN'T
TALK TO ANYBODY NOW!
MY LIFE IS FALLING APART!
I HAVE A TON OF WORK TO DO!
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
- OK, THEN.
- I'M NOT LEAVING, RHODA.
I CAME IN TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING BEFORE YOU
THREW ME OUT.
- I'M SORRY I DID THAT, MYRNA.
I'M JUST SO HASSLED HERE,
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
AND MAYBE I CAN
HELP YOU THERE.
- WELL, I APPRECIATE
YOUR CONCERN BUT--
- YOU SEE, I'M
A WORK HORSE, TOO.
I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO COULD NEVER SAY "NO" TO
ANYONE, SO I ALWAYS GOT TOO
MUCH WORK TO DO AND THOUGHT
I COULD NEVER FINISH ANYTHING,
AND IT DROVE ME CRAZY.
- YEAH. WELL...
- BUT THEN, ONE DAY I SAID
TO MYSELF, "MYRNA?
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE LATE TURNING
IN YOUR PROGRESS REPORTS?
"IS MR. LEFCOURT GONNA KILL YA?
HECK, NO."
AND ONCE I CAME TO
THAT REALIZATION, A CALM
CAME OVER ME.
A KIND OF PEACEFUL, BLISSFUL--
- MYRNA, GET TO THE POINT!
- THE POINT IS...ONCE I
RELAXED, I DID BETTER WORK.
AND THAT IS WHAT
YOU SHOULD DO.
- THANK YOU.
- NOW, COME ON.
- WHAT?
- I WANT YOU
TO SIT OVER HERE...
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- AND RELAX.
- MYRNA, I CAN'T!
I HAVE WORK TO DO!
- RHODA!
TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF
AND WIGGLE YOUR TOES.
- MYRNA.
- RHODA.
I'M WIGGLING.
I'M WIGGLING.
- WOULD YOU LIKE
A CUP OF COFFEE?
- YEAH. I WOULD LOVE IT.
- I BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT
YOU'D BE GETTING ADVICE
FROM ME, HUH?
BUT THIS IS ONE
THING I'M GOOD AT.
WORK.
I'M NOT GOOD AT LIFE.
AND I'M NOT GOOD AT MEN.
BUT I'M GOOD AT WORK.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
- FINE.
- DON'T DO THAT, RHODA.
THIS IS YOUR BREAK.
RELAX.
WE'LL CHAT.
HOW'S JOE?
- NOT GOOD.
OTHERWISE, HE'S FINE.
- GOOD.
- SO, HOW'S SCHOOL?
- I QUIT.
- WHAT?
I'M SITTING HERE, COMPLAINING,
AND YOU JUST QUIT
AN ENTIRE CAREER?
MYRNA, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY SOMETHING?
- I WAS GOING TO, BUT YOU
DIDN'T SEEM TO BE IN THE MOOD
TO HEAR IT, THEN.
- OH.
WELL, WHY DID YOU QUIT?
I THOUGHT YOU LOVED TEACHING?
- I QUIT BECAUSE I HAVE
THIS URGE TO BE CREATIVE,
AND THEY WOULDN'T LET ME.
I COULDN'T GET IT OFF, THERE.
- MYRNA, THIS IS SUCH
A MAJOR STEP TO TAKE.
I MEAN,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING.
BUT THAT NIGHT AT BRENDA'S,
WHEN I DROPPED BY AND
HELPED YOU WITH THAT IDEA,
IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING,
STIMULATING NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
- YOU POOR KID.
- AND THEN THE OTHER DAY,
I WENT BY MARTINDALE'S,
AND I SAW YOUR "WAR AND PEACE"
WINDOWS, AND, AS I STOOD
THERE, AMONG THE
CROWD ON THE SIDEWALK,
A THRILL WENT THROUGH ME.
- WHEN YOU WERE STANDING
THERE, WAS THERE A CROWD
BEHIND YOU?
YOU SURE THIS THRILL YOU
FELT WAS OF YOUR OWN DOING?
- RHODA, YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO IT.
IT'S VERY EXCITING,
WHAT YOU DO, RHODA.
AND I WANT
TO DO IT, TOO.
- MYRNA, PLEASE.
COME ON.
A PERSON DOESN'T QUIT
A JOB AND BECOME
A WINDOW DRESSER OVERNIGHT.
- WELL, HOW DID YOU
GET STARTED, THEN?
- WELL, I QUIT A JOB.
YEAH. BUT--BUT I HAD
HAD SOME ART TRAINING.
- I'VE HAD SOME ART TRAINING.
- BUT I APPRENTICED
WITH SOMEONE WHO SHOWED ME
THE ROPES.
- I COULD DO THAT, TOO, RHODA.
IF I COULD FIND SOMEONE
WHO WAS TALENTED AND PATIENT
AND MAYBE OVERWORKED ENOUGH TO
SHOW ME THOSE VERY SAME ROPES.
DO YOU READ ME, RHODA?
- MYRNA, LISTEN.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A GOOD
IDEA FOR FRIENDS TO, YOU KNOW.
- FORTUNATELY, I DON'T
FEEL WE'RE THAT CLOSE YET.
- WELL...NAH, NAH.
TH-THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.
IT'S TOO LOGICAL.
MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE.
BUT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
SOMEBODY WHO RESISTED
ANYTHING THAT
SOUNDED TOO EASY, YOU KNOW.
LIKE WHEN THEY FIRST BROUGHT
OUT PANTYHOSE, I THOUGHT THEY
COULDN'T WORK.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
- OH, MYRNA, LISTEN, NO.
I DON'T THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- I'LL GET THAT.
GOOD AFTERNOON,
WINDOWS BY RHODA.
YES, MR. EDWARDS.
- I FORGOT TO CALL HIM BACK.
- THE ESTIMATE FOR
THE WINDOW TOMORROW?
JUST ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A WINDOW
FOR BIG ED'S MEN'S SHOP?
- MYRNA, I GOT MYSELF
INTO SUCH A BIND, YOU WON'T
BELIEVE IT.
I PROMISED TWO STORES
DISPLAYS FOR TOMORROW.
AND I CAN'T--
- YES,
MR. EDWARDS, I'M SORRY.
THIS IS MS. MORGENSTEIN,
MS. MORGENSTERN'S ASSOCIATE.
I'M AFRAID I'VE MADE
A MISTAKE IN HER SCHEDULE.
WOULD IT BE TERRIBLY,
UH, INCONVENIENT
IF WE POSTPONED THAT
UNTIL NEXT WEEK?
GOOD.
WHY, THANK YOU, MR. EDWARDS.
ALL RIGHT, "BIG ED."
A DRINK SOMETIME?
WHY, YES, THAT SOUNDS
VERY REFRESHING.
MMM. CIAO TO YOU, TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M FINISHING MY COFFEE.
I AM WIGGLING MY TOES.
MS. MORGENSTEIN,
HOLD ALL CALLS.
- THE GUY TOLD ME YOU
WANT TO ADD ANOTHER NAME
UNDER THE "R. MORGENSTERN" HERE.
- YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, LEO.
"M. MORGENSTEIN.
ASSOCIATE."
- MORGENSTERN AND MORGENSTEIN.
YOU GIRLS SISTERS?
- HELLO, JOE.
LISTEN, GREAT NEWS.
GREAT.
I'M GOING TO BE HOME
EARLY, AFTER ALL.
WE CAN HAVE A NICE
DINNER TOGETHER.
TIME TO TALK AFTERWARDS.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND GREAT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"WHO IS THIS?"