Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 8, Episode 8 - The Brain of Evil - full transcript
Mordecai and Rigby need to catch a brain before it causes too much damage
So, in conclusion,
Rawls says
we're all due for some R&R,
so you guys
have this afternoon off.
Awesome.
Hyuh.
Hyuh.
Why are you still here?
Where else would we go?
Yeah, the coffee shop's
back on Earth,
so we don't have anywhere
to hang out.
Well, this is where
I'm hanging out.
You guys go somewhere else.
And stay out of trouble.
I guess we have been hanging out
in the barracks too much.
Yeah.
Whoa.
It's like a city in here.
Let's check this place out.
[JINGLES]
Whoa.
Whoa.
Customers?
BOTH: Aah.
Welcome to the Chow Mein
and Don't Touch Anything Store.
You may either buy chow mein,
or don't touch anything.
Do you have credits?
Feel free to look around
and buy things
with your credits.
But don't touch anything.
Did I just hear you
touch something?
Uh, nope. Just dropping credits
on the floor.
Better be credits.
Customers coming in
and touching things,
but don't buy anything.
Abah. They drop their credits
on the ground,
then it's my ground, my credits.
An arcade?
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER: Chess TV.
Dunst Opening. Knight to C3.
Not a common opening.
Oh.
Aah.
Ew, a brain? Gross.
Why are you in this case?
Why am I in this cage?
Well, there I was,
a poor country brain
picking up groceries
for my brain family.
As I reached for
the brain baby formula,
that guy
jumped out of nowhere
and trapped me in this
miniature steel prison.
Wow, why'd he do that?
I don't know.
Probably because he just
doesn't like big, floaty brains.
Well, that's not very fair.
I know.
And now all I have
to keep me company
are my chess shows.
I just want to see
my wife and kids again.
Is that so wrong?
No, it isn't.
Well, tell you what.
There's a key on that wall.
You could unlock
this soul-sucking enclosure,
and I could be free
to travel as I please.
I don't know.
I've dealt with a lot of
disembodied stuff before.
You sure you're not crazy?
I assure you, I'm not crazy.
This situation is crazy.
Now why don't you
go get that key
so I can stretch my stem
a little?
Okay.
Yaah.
Aah.
Ah, ha ha. Fooled you.
I'm not a country brain.
I'm an evil brain,
and I'm not married.
I'm not even dating anybody
right now.
Ha ha ha ha. Yaah, ha ha ha.
Hmm. This is
actually pretty go--
Aah.
Aah. What have you done?
He said he wasn't crazy.
That brain led a crime wave
that nearly ruined
this quadrant.
You must stop him.
Well, why was he
locked up in a birdcage
and not
a maximum-security prison?
You ever imprisoned
an evil brain before?
Uh, nope.
Well, then back off, man.
Just get him, all right?
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
Unh.
[BOTH PANT]
[PANTING]
Gimme a boost.
Unh.
Aah.
Waah.
[GROANS]
[GRUNTS]
Cornered, eh?
Looks like somebody
isn't as smart
as he thought he was.
Stay away, man.
Whoa, whoa. He's got a stick.
Where am I gonna
swing this stick?
I'm unpredictable, man.
Aah.
Not in the face.
Aah.
My shin.
Heh heh heh.
I wasn't expecting that.
Heh heh heh.
You guys are so dumb.
That's why
you'll never catch me.
Yaah, ha ha,
ha ha ha ha ha.
Ahh. Why is
everything in space so gross?
Come on, dude.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
He's got to be here somewhere.
There he is.
Heh heh heh.
So long, flesh bags.
[PANTING]
Always one step ahead.
How are we gonna
catch up to him?
[BOTH PANTING]
Ahh. I've got an idea.
[BOTH PANTING]
Hey. Could we--
Yeah, yeah. Come in.
You're making me miss it.
BOTH: Huh?
Check this guy out.
He yells at these kids
every time he walks by.
Dude just doesn't get it.
Heh heh heh.
Hey. Have you seen
a crazy brain anywhere?
Nah. I mostly just watch
that angry guy
or one of my other shows.
Feel free to take a look.
We got that awkward first date,
that happy big-headed man
who sleeps,
and whatever this is.
Ahh.
It's the brain.
He's headed for our dome.
Good luck tall guy
and short guy.
I hope you can make it back
to Channel 47.
The cart.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
Sorry. Official
Space Tree business.
Sorry. Official
Space Tree business.
[SLURPS]
What do we do, man?
We're gonna get in
so much trouble.
No, dude.
We'll be fine.
We'll capture this brain
and fix this mess
before anyone finds out.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[RUMBLING]
What's going on?
Top-notch push-up there,
cadet.
Huh?
Whose dome is that, cadet?
Uh, the park, sir.
Code red!
[KLAXON SOUNDS]
We got to get up there.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Dude, it's Benson. Hello?
Why is the park
blasting off into space?
I know you two
have something to do with this.
Oh, so because the park
is missing,
we had something
to do with it?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Why has your dome
taken off without clearance?
I don't know. I was trying
to eat my Tuscan chicken salad.
You don't know what's going on
in your own park?
That is unacceptable.
Drop and give me 50.
Mordecai and Rigby,
I have footage of you
driving into your dome.
Rigby set this evil brain loose
from this creepy old guy,
and now it's flying the dome
into space.
What?
Why am I not surprised?
Old guy.
Someone get me Keith
on the line.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
Why are we having
another brain incident, Keith?
You said you had this
under control.
It's not my fault.
I put him in a birdcage.
These two guys
came into my shop
all touching everything.
They released the brain.
That was
a dang-good birdcage.
Your guys messed up,
Benson.
Space-tree protocol
dictates we have to shoot
rogue domes down.
ALL: What?
Wait.
Please, just give us a chance
to catch him.
Yeah. Keith,
how did you catch him?
I beat him at chess, heh heh,
but that was a long time ago.
He's too good now.
You cannot beat him.
Colonel, I have a plan.
Can you give us more time?
You have ten minutes
before the dome's
getting blasted.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
What's your plan?
I'm gonna need a chess board
and a big salad.
I'm hungry.
Hey, Brain.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop. Don't shoot.
If you shoot us with that gun,
everyone will know
you couldn't outsmart us
with your wits.
Hah. Beating you with my wits
would be a million times easier
than pulling this trigger.
What do you propose?
How about
a game of chess?
Chess? Chess?
Ha ha ha.
You've got no chance.
If you're so sure,
then let's play.
Winner gets the dome,
loser leaves the dome.
And get sucked into
the vacuum of space?
Uh, yeah, I guess so.
Then I accept. Let's play.
Did you know there are only
20 possible first moves
in chess?
Pretty crazy, huh?
I choose pawn to E4.
Are you ready for
the fast-paced action
of a king/pawn opening?
What will you choose?
That one? Ha.
Ah. Pawn to E5.
Pathetic.
[KLAXON BLARING]
Prepare to light this dome up.
Arming
the park-seeking missiles.
Did you know that your skin
is your largest organ?
Mine's my brain.
Your epidermis,
or as I like to call it,
your epi-dumbness,
it won't help you in chess.
Queen to H5.
Horse to this square.
You calling it a horse
makes me want to vomit.
Aw...
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Sir, we're getting out of
weapons range. What do we do?
[SIGHS]
Then we have no choice.
Fire.
Bishop to C4.
You're probably asking yourself,
"What is a bishop"?
Please tell me
because I'm so ignorant.
Or perhaps you're thinking...
[IMITATES WIND BLOWING]
Because your brain is so small
that the only thing
it could think of
is the sound of a small breeze.
Are you ready for me
to blow your mind?
Queen takes F7.
[KLAXON BLARING]
Checkmate. Hah ha ha.
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho.
I can't believe
you fell for Scholars Mate.
It's the oldest trick
in the book.
Ha ha ha ha. Huh?
Hey. What?
Got him.
Rawls, we got him.
Ha ha ha. Mordecai and Rigby,
you ignorant geniuses.
Ooh-ah.
[BOTH SIGH]
Aah.
Let me out of here.
Ew. So gross.
Pass me the chess board.
[GROANS] Stop. Let me go.
Wait. Stop.
No-o-o.
You haven't seen the last of me.
I'll get you for this,
Mordecai and Rigby.
I really feel like
getting chow mein.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Rawls says
we're all due for some R&R,
so you guys
have this afternoon off.
Awesome.
Hyuh.
Hyuh.
Why are you still here?
Where else would we go?
Yeah, the coffee shop's
back on Earth,
so we don't have anywhere
to hang out.
Well, this is where
I'm hanging out.
You guys go somewhere else.
And stay out of trouble.
I guess we have been hanging out
in the barracks too much.
Yeah.
Whoa.
It's like a city in here.
Let's check this place out.
[JINGLES]
Whoa.
Whoa.
Customers?
BOTH: Aah.
Welcome to the Chow Mein
and Don't Touch Anything Store.
You may either buy chow mein,
or don't touch anything.
Do you have credits?
Feel free to look around
and buy things
with your credits.
But don't touch anything.
Did I just hear you
touch something?
Uh, nope. Just dropping credits
on the floor.
Better be credits.
Customers coming in
and touching things,
but don't buy anything.
Abah. They drop their credits
on the ground,
then it's my ground, my credits.
An arcade?
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER: Chess TV.
Dunst Opening. Knight to C3.
Not a common opening.
Oh.
Aah.
Ew, a brain? Gross.
Why are you in this case?
Why am I in this cage?
Well, there I was,
a poor country brain
picking up groceries
for my brain family.
As I reached for
the brain baby formula,
that guy
jumped out of nowhere
and trapped me in this
miniature steel prison.
Wow, why'd he do that?
I don't know.
Probably because he just
doesn't like big, floaty brains.
Well, that's not very fair.
I know.
And now all I have
to keep me company
are my chess shows.
I just want to see
my wife and kids again.
Is that so wrong?
No, it isn't.
Well, tell you what.
There's a key on that wall.
You could unlock
this soul-sucking enclosure,
and I could be free
to travel as I please.
I don't know.
I've dealt with a lot of
disembodied stuff before.
You sure you're not crazy?
I assure you, I'm not crazy.
This situation is crazy.
Now why don't you
go get that key
so I can stretch my stem
a little?
Okay.
Yaah.
Aah.
Ah, ha ha. Fooled you.
I'm not a country brain.
I'm an evil brain,
and I'm not married.
I'm not even dating anybody
right now.
Ha ha ha ha. Yaah, ha ha ha.
Hmm. This is
actually pretty go--
Aah.
Aah. What have you done?
He said he wasn't crazy.
That brain led a crime wave
that nearly ruined
this quadrant.
You must stop him.
Well, why was he
locked up in a birdcage
and not
a maximum-security prison?
You ever imprisoned
an evil brain before?
Uh, nope.
Well, then back off, man.
Just get him, all right?
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
Unh.
[BOTH PANT]
[PANTING]
Gimme a boost.
Unh.
Aah.
Waah.
[GROANS]
[GRUNTS]
Cornered, eh?
Looks like somebody
isn't as smart
as he thought he was.
Stay away, man.
Whoa, whoa. He's got a stick.
Where am I gonna
swing this stick?
I'm unpredictable, man.
Aah.
Not in the face.
Aah.
My shin.
Heh heh heh.
I wasn't expecting that.
Heh heh heh.
You guys are so dumb.
That's why
you'll never catch me.
Yaah, ha ha,
ha ha ha ha ha.
Ahh. Why is
everything in space so gross?
Come on, dude.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
He's got to be here somewhere.
There he is.
Heh heh heh.
So long, flesh bags.
[PANTING]
Always one step ahead.
How are we gonna
catch up to him?
[BOTH PANTING]
Ahh. I've got an idea.
[BOTH PANTING]
Hey. Could we--
Yeah, yeah. Come in.
You're making me miss it.
BOTH: Huh?
Check this guy out.
He yells at these kids
every time he walks by.
Dude just doesn't get it.
Heh heh heh.
Hey. Have you seen
a crazy brain anywhere?
Nah. I mostly just watch
that angry guy
or one of my other shows.
Feel free to take a look.
We got that awkward first date,
that happy big-headed man
who sleeps,
and whatever this is.
Ahh.
It's the brain.
He's headed for our dome.
Good luck tall guy
and short guy.
I hope you can make it back
to Channel 47.
The cart.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
Sorry. Official
Space Tree business.
Sorry. Official
Space Tree business.
[SLURPS]
What do we do, man?
We're gonna get in
so much trouble.
No, dude.
We'll be fine.
We'll capture this brain
and fix this mess
before anyone finds out.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[RUMBLING]
What's going on?
Top-notch push-up there,
cadet.
Huh?
Whose dome is that, cadet?
Uh, the park, sir.
Code red!
[KLAXON SOUNDS]
We got to get up there.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Dude, it's Benson. Hello?
Why is the park
blasting off into space?
I know you two
have something to do with this.
Oh, so because the park
is missing,
we had something
to do with it?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Why has your dome
taken off without clearance?
I don't know. I was trying
to eat my Tuscan chicken salad.
You don't know what's going on
in your own park?
That is unacceptable.
Drop and give me 50.
Mordecai and Rigby,
I have footage of you
driving into your dome.
Rigby set this evil brain loose
from this creepy old guy,
and now it's flying the dome
into space.
What?
Why am I not surprised?
Old guy.
Someone get me Keith
on the line.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
Why are we having
another brain incident, Keith?
You said you had this
under control.
It's not my fault.
I put him in a birdcage.
These two guys
came into my shop
all touching everything.
They released the brain.
That was
a dang-good birdcage.
Your guys messed up,
Benson.
Space-tree protocol
dictates we have to shoot
rogue domes down.
ALL: What?
Wait.
Please, just give us a chance
to catch him.
Yeah. Keith,
how did you catch him?
I beat him at chess, heh heh,
but that was a long time ago.
He's too good now.
You cannot beat him.
Colonel, I have a plan.
Can you give us more time?
You have ten minutes
before the dome's
getting blasted.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
What's your plan?
I'm gonna need a chess board
and a big salad.
I'm hungry.
Hey, Brain.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop. Don't shoot.
If you shoot us with that gun,
everyone will know
you couldn't outsmart us
with your wits.
Hah. Beating you with my wits
would be a million times easier
than pulling this trigger.
What do you propose?
How about
a game of chess?
Chess? Chess?
Ha ha ha.
You've got no chance.
If you're so sure,
then let's play.
Winner gets the dome,
loser leaves the dome.
And get sucked into
the vacuum of space?
Uh, yeah, I guess so.
Then I accept. Let's play.
Did you know there are only
20 possible first moves
in chess?
Pretty crazy, huh?
I choose pawn to E4.
Are you ready for
the fast-paced action
of a king/pawn opening?
What will you choose?
That one? Ha.
Ah. Pawn to E5.
Pathetic.
[KLAXON BLARING]
Prepare to light this dome up.
Arming
the park-seeking missiles.
Did you know that your skin
is your largest organ?
Mine's my brain.
Your epidermis,
or as I like to call it,
your epi-dumbness,
it won't help you in chess.
Queen to H5.
Horse to this square.
You calling it a horse
makes me want to vomit.
Aw...
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Sir, we're getting out of
weapons range. What do we do?
[SIGHS]
Then we have no choice.
Fire.
Bishop to C4.
You're probably asking yourself,
"What is a bishop"?
Please tell me
because I'm so ignorant.
Or perhaps you're thinking...
[IMITATES WIND BLOWING]
Because your brain is so small
that the only thing
it could think of
is the sound of a small breeze.
Are you ready for me
to blow your mind?
Queen takes F7.
[KLAXON BLARING]
Checkmate. Hah ha ha.
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho.
I can't believe
you fell for Scholars Mate.
It's the oldest trick
in the book.
Ha ha ha ha. Huh?
Hey. What?
Got him.
Rawls, we got him.
Ha ha ha. Mordecai and Rigby,
you ignorant geniuses.
Ooh-ah.
[BOTH SIGH]
Aah.
Let me out of here.
Ew. So gross.
Pass me the chess board.
[GROANS] Stop. Let me go.
Wait. Stop.
No-o-o.
You haven't seen the last of me.
I'll get you for this,
Mordecai and Rigby.
I really feel like
getting chow mein.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]