Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 8, Episode 22 - No Train No Gain - full transcript
The guys help Pops train.
Sir, your noodles
are here.
Finally.
Any word on locating Pops?
We're still scouring
the Bleisdorf Quadrant, sir.
Any word on locating
the special sauce?
Scouring the bag, sir.
Uh, there doesn't seem
to be any, sir.
What? Aah.
Noodle-Verse is the worst.
There were
no packets of special sauce
in my bag.
Never ordering from you again.
Huh? Where are
the negative stars?
Noodle-Verse
deserves negative stars.
[GRUNTS]
Yes. Yello Customer Service?
I'm trying to leave
a negative-star review and--
What do you mean
the lowest review is zero stars?
They deserve
negative five stars.
Your archaic rating system
does not reflect
my level of hate.
[GASPS] Oh, dear.
He has grown more powerful
than a five-star rating system
can contain.
All right, Pops, go.
Hyah.
Hyah. Hyah. Hyah.
Hyah.
[GROANS]
Wait. Did you even hit it?
I don't want to break it.
This board could one day
grow up to be
a beautiful dinette centrepiece.
Pops, we're supposed to be
training you.
Cone on, Pops.
Fly like a butterfly,
sting like a...
Hey, wait, Pops.
Sting like a bee, Pops.
A bee.
This isn't working.
I'm hungry.
[LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
Our "B"s
are about to be stung.
And by that,
I mean our butts.
Why?
Anti-Pops
forever grows in power.
We must hasten our training.
How are we gonna do that?
Even with everyone helping,
it's still going slow.
Have you heard of
the ancient technique
of training montage?
Montage?
No. What is it?
Masters of it
could condense time and space
to train faster.
They could skip right over
the parts
where they took a break
to pee.
Wait. That sounds familiar.
Oh, yeah.
It's a film technique
in which a collection of shots,
cut with wipes and dissolves
in quick succession,
is used to condense
space and time.
I went to art school.
Yes, exactly.
By doing this, they were able to
do weeks of training
in mere days
to reach the next level.
Is Pops gonna level up
like in a video game?
Something like that.
Cool.
Cool.
Ah, music.
With the right track,
these lessons will fly by.
This is my favourite song.
[♪♪♪]
Hyah.
Hyah.
[GROANS]
Whoa.
Whoa.
BOTH: He levelled up.
Again.
[♪♪♪]
This montage technique
is nuts, dude.
Yeah, man,
it's crazy.
First they're, like, over here,
and then they're all wipe.
Boom.
Hey, we're over here.
Yeah. I bet Pops
will be ready in no time.
I even like the song.
It's catchy.
Hwah. Hyah.
Hwah. Heh heh.
[KARATE YELLS]
[BOTH LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
Ahh. It's so early.
[BOTH GROAN]
Aah.
Aah.
[BOTH GASP]
No.
Wait. Stop.
Wait.
No. No.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYS]
Hey.
MAN: You lose.
Aw, man.
Uhh. How long is this
gonna take?
Dude, I can't handle
that song anymore.
He played it, like, 120 times.
What are we gonna do?
I have an idea.
Let's change the tune-age.
[PANTING] I'm ready for
today's training montage, Earl.
Ah, you've caught
the montage bug.
If we keep this steady pace,
we should be ready in two weeks.
[♪♪♪]
What?
It's so... strong.
Where is my music?
I don't know.
Get something
a little different, I guess.
Don't you know
what you've done?
♪ And endlessly
we're roaming free tonight ♪
Huh?
♪ And on the wings of a dream ♪
♪ So far beyond reality ♪
♪ All alone in desperation ♪
What's the problem?
It just looks like
he's training faster.
Don't you see?
Montages are more powerful
the faster the song is.
♪ My own mind ♪
ALL: Ach. Huh?
All right, Pops,
you chopped the board.
That's enough montage for now.
No. Don't get near him.
Huh?
Huh?
Uhh.
Uhh.
Huh?
Pops, you gotta stop.
Huh?
Uhh.
Pops.
How long is this song?
It's five and a half minutes.
You have to turn off
the boom box
from within the montage.
We can't do it,
or we'll get sucked in, too.
Aah.
Aah.
After him.
Huh?
Huh?
How'd I get
this fishing pole?
Montage logic. Just use it.
Huuh.
Dang it.
The wipe cut my line.
Pops, the bed is made.
You can stop.
All right,
our next step is--
What? No.
Oh, great. Now we're stuck in
the montage, too.
Way to mess everything up
with your young,
hip, fast music.
This is dangerous.
You can't just
throw fast music around.
Whoa,
it didn't explode.
Uhh.
Uhh.
Go get the boom box.
[ALL SCREAM]
Eh?
ALL: What?
He's montaging
out of control.
If we don't stop him,
he'll destroy everything.
[SCREAMS]
[RUMBLING]
[GASPS] What's that sound?
It's a thematically appropriate
transition.
That coin was huge.
Are we breathing in space?
This isn't space.
It is the void.
This is where you end up
when you reach peak montage.
Colour cards, morphing,
split screens.
Anything can happen here.
Where's Pops?
He's perfecting
every exercise.
Pops, slow down.
Pops, just--
What are we supposed to do?
Every training montage has
a place that appears repeatedly
to show someone's progress.
If we find the nexus point,
we can turn off that boom box.
Huh? Aah.
I'm a ghost.
Aah. Aah.
Bro, is this what it's like
for you all the time?
Pretty much.
I'm, uh... I'm getting
a little sick here.
You are not ghosts.
You are overlays.
Now figure out
Pops' nexus point.
♪ With their blood
On our hands ♪
♪ We fought so hard,
Now can we-- ♪
The wood chopping.
He always levels up
when he chops wood.
Rigby, get to where
the boom box will be
when we come out
of the void.
Throw me, Skips.
Yaah.
♪ So far away,
We wait for-- ♪
Uh, a little faster, Rigby.
♪ For the light source
So wasted and gone ♪
♪ We feel the pain
Of a lifetime ♪
♪ Lost in a thousand days ♪
Oh, no, all he has left to do
is write the perfect signature.
♪ Carry on ♪
Is the boom box about here?
Dude, it's to the left.
To the left.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Here?
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
Here?
That's it.
[GASPS]
The perfect signature.
ALL: Aah.
Rigby, the boom box.
[ALL PANTING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Huh?
Huh?
Uhh.
Uhh. Pops?
Rain.
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[GIGGLES]
He is ready.
Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.
Good show.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
are here.
Finally.
Any word on locating Pops?
We're still scouring
the Bleisdorf Quadrant, sir.
Any word on locating
the special sauce?
Scouring the bag, sir.
Uh, there doesn't seem
to be any, sir.
What? Aah.
Noodle-Verse is the worst.
There were
no packets of special sauce
in my bag.
Never ordering from you again.
Huh? Where are
the negative stars?
Noodle-Verse
deserves negative stars.
[GRUNTS]
Yes. Yello Customer Service?
I'm trying to leave
a negative-star review and--
What do you mean
the lowest review is zero stars?
They deserve
negative five stars.
Your archaic rating system
does not reflect
my level of hate.
[GASPS] Oh, dear.
He has grown more powerful
than a five-star rating system
can contain.
All right, Pops, go.
Hyah.
Hyah. Hyah. Hyah.
Hyah.
[GROANS]
Wait. Did you even hit it?
I don't want to break it.
This board could one day
grow up to be
a beautiful dinette centrepiece.
Pops, we're supposed to be
training you.
Cone on, Pops.
Fly like a butterfly,
sting like a...
Hey, wait, Pops.
Sting like a bee, Pops.
A bee.
This isn't working.
I'm hungry.
[LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
Our "B"s
are about to be stung.
And by that,
I mean our butts.
Why?
Anti-Pops
forever grows in power.
We must hasten our training.
How are we gonna do that?
Even with everyone helping,
it's still going slow.
Have you heard of
the ancient technique
of training montage?
Montage?
No. What is it?
Masters of it
could condense time and space
to train faster.
They could skip right over
the parts
where they took a break
to pee.
Wait. That sounds familiar.
Oh, yeah.
It's a film technique
in which a collection of shots,
cut with wipes and dissolves
in quick succession,
is used to condense
space and time.
I went to art school.
Yes, exactly.
By doing this, they were able to
do weeks of training
in mere days
to reach the next level.
Is Pops gonna level up
like in a video game?
Something like that.
Cool.
Cool.
Ah, music.
With the right track,
these lessons will fly by.
This is my favourite song.
[♪♪♪]
Hyah.
Hyah.
[GROANS]
Whoa.
Whoa.
BOTH: He levelled up.
Again.
[♪♪♪]
This montage technique
is nuts, dude.
Yeah, man,
it's crazy.
First they're, like, over here,
and then they're all wipe.
Boom.
Hey, we're over here.
Yeah. I bet Pops
will be ready in no time.
I even like the song.
It's catchy.
Hwah. Hyah.
Hwah. Heh heh.
[KARATE YELLS]
[BOTH LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
Ahh. It's so early.
[BOTH GROAN]
Aah.
Aah.
[BOTH GASP]
No.
Wait. Stop.
Wait.
No. No.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYS]
Hey.
MAN: You lose.
Aw, man.
Uhh. How long is this
gonna take?
Dude, I can't handle
that song anymore.
He played it, like, 120 times.
What are we gonna do?
I have an idea.
Let's change the tune-age.
[PANTING] I'm ready for
today's training montage, Earl.
Ah, you've caught
the montage bug.
If we keep this steady pace,
we should be ready in two weeks.
[♪♪♪]
What?
It's so... strong.
Where is my music?
I don't know.
Get something
a little different, I guess.
Don't you know
what you've done?
♪ And endlessly
we're roaming free tonight ♪
Huh?
♪ And on the wings of a dream ♪
♪ So far beyond reality ♪
♪ All alone in desperation ♪
What's the problem?
It just looks like
he's training faster.
Don't you see?
Montages are more powerful
the faster the song is.
♪ My own mind ♪
ALL: Ach. Huh?
All right, Pops,
you chopped the board.
That's enough montage for now.
No. Don't get near him.
Huh?
Huh?
Uhh.
Uhh.
Huh?
Pops, you gotta stop.
Huh?
Uhh.
Pops.
How long is this song?
It's five and a half minutes.
You have to turn off
the boom box
from within the montage.
We can't do it,
or we'll get sucked in, too.
Aah.
Aah.
After him.
Huh?
Huh?
How'd I get
this fishing pole?
Montage logic. Just use it.
Huuh.
Dang it.
The wipe cut my line.
Pops, the bed is made.
You can stop.
All right,
our next step is--
What? No.
Oh, great. Now we're stuck in
the montage, too.
Way to mess everything up
with your young,
hip, fast music.
This is dangerous.
You can't just
throw fast music around.
Whoa,
it didn't explode.
Uhh.
Uhh.
Go get the boom box.
[ALL SCREAM]
Eh?
ALL: What?
He's montaging
out of control.
If we don't stop him,
he'll destroy everything.
[SCREAMS]
[RUMBLING]
[GASPS] What's that sound?
It's a thematically appropriate
transition.
That coin was huge.
Are we breathing in space?
This isn't space.
It is the void.
This is where you end up
when you reach peak montage.
Colour cards, morphing,
split screens.
Anything can happen here.
Where's Pops?
He's perfecting
every exercise.
Pops, slow down.
Pops, just--
What are we supposed to do?
Every training montage has
a place that appears repeatedly
to show someone's progress.
If we find the nexus point,
we can turn off that boom box.
Huh? Aah.
I'm a ghost.
Aah. Aah.
Bro, is this what it's like
for you all the time?
Pretty much.
I'm, uh... I'm getting
a little sick here.
You are not ghosts.
You are overlays.
Now figure out
Pops' nexus point.
♪ With their blood
On our hands ♪
♪ We fought so hard,
Now can we-- ♪
The wood chopping.
He always levels up
when he chops wood.
Rigby, get to where
the boom box will be
when we come out
of the void.
Throw me, Skips.
Yaah.
♪ So far away,
We wait for-- ♪
Uh, a little faster, Rigby.
♪ For the light source
So wasted and gone ♪
♪ We feel the pain
Of a lifetime ♪
♪ Lost in a thousand days ♪
Oh, no, all he has left to do
is write the perfect signature.
♪ Carry on ♪
Is the boom box about here?
Dude, it's to the left.
To the left.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Here?
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
Here?
That's it.
[GASPS]
The perfect signature.
ALL: Aah.
Rigby, the boom box.
[ALL PANTING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Huh?
Huh?
Uhh.
Uhh. Pops?
Rain.
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[GIGGLES]
He is ready.
Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.
Good show.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]