Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 8, Episode 23 - Christmas in Space - full transcript
The guys celebrate their first Christmas in space by opening presents, eating peppermint bark and telling Christmas stories. Benson wants the stories to be more Christmas-y, but the guys keep adding scary elements, which only infuriate their boss.
[BELLS JINGLING]
[♪♪♪]
First ever Christmas
in space, guys.
[SLURPS] First Christmas
hot chocolate in space.
First time eating
Benson's peppermint bark
in space.
My first time
making peppermint bark in space.
To be honest, the process
is similar to the Earth version,
but somehow
it just tastes better up here.
Yep. There's only one way
this Christmas could be
any more special.
If we finally receive a message
from our loved ones
telling us they're all right
and we'll see
them again before we die?
Eileen, he's talking about
telling cool Christmas stories.
Ho ho ho-o-o-o-o.
Well, it's really more of
a Halloween thing.
What I'm talking about
are cool Christmas stories
in the form of a song.
Carols.
And handbells. Huh?
So I'll sing the chorus,
and then you guys pick it up.
♪ Ding dong ding dong ♪
Let's save the bell jingling
for when you're by yourself.
Until then, I got a story
about an icy snow planet
called Celsius.
Now remember--we can only stay
while there's sunlight,
and Celsius only has sunlight
for five minutes.
Because if you're here
after it gets dark...
Yeah, the Celsian snow monsters
will get us.
You told us that,
like, ten times already.
I'm making sure you understand
the premise of this place.
But we haven't seen snow
in forever.
Yeah. Snow's what makes
Christmas Christmas.
That and presents.
White Christmas.
White Christmas.
All right, all right.
Five minutes, everyone,
starting...
now.
[BEEP]
Snow day.
[LAUGHING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Ha ha ha ha. Look.
[GIGGLING]
ALL: Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
All right. Cute
don't stop the sun from setting.
Come on, let's get
a white Christmas move-on.
["SILENT NIGHT" PLAYING]
[BEEPS]
Okay, that was fun.
Back to the dome, everybody.
But wait. I haven't done the
Sorenstein Hanukkah tradition
of skiing down a big slope
in my underwear.
Well, make it quick.
We only have,
like, ten seconds left
before the sun sets.
Relax, bro. Here I go.
Aah.
Oh, come on.
You're fine.
Get up. We don't have time
for this.
[SOBBING]
I don't know.
It looks a little twisted?
You can walk.
[TIMER BEEPS]
Ahh. Oh, no.
Merry Christ--
[ROARS]
Back to the ship.
Back to the ship.
[SCREAMING]
Merry Christmas.
[PANTING]
[GRUNTING]
Almost there.
Just keep running.
[SCREAMING]
Merry Christmas.
MONSTERS: Merry Christmas.
Okay, I'm not really sure
what to do now.
There's only one thing
we can do--
use your presents as weapons.
It's holding them off.
Keep throwing stuff. Unh.
Eileen, I spent a long time
customizing that for you.
Huuh.
Mordecai, I had to
special order that
from
the Sno-Cone Machine planet.
I know. And I really
appreciate it,
but Christmas
isn't about gifts.
What? Yes, it is.
Dude, what are you gonna
take with you
when all this is all over?
The stuff?
No. Uhh.
The memories.
Unh.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
What do you mean, Mordecai?
What Christmas
is really about is spending...
Spending money?
No.
Mordecai, what's it about?
It's about
spending time with friends.
[ALL SCREAM]
Huh?
POPS: Ludlow
the Laser-Nosed Reindeer?
That's right. Santa sent me.
He said he's sorry
he couldn't be here,
but he's super-proud of you guys
for realizing
the true spirit of Christmas.
Whoa, it's really him.
From the Ludlow series.
He looks just like himself.
Merry Christmas, guys.
I'll take it from here.
EILEEN: Cool. It's
more effective than presents.
ALL: Thanks, Ludlow.
No problem.
See you guys
on the next Christmas special.
Whoa.
It's so realistic.
He barely has to move.
Stiff as a board.
Well, what did you guys think?
Considering
we got our white Christmas,
made it out alive,
and I didn't have to sacrifice
my awesome new
two-wheel scooter, I'd say...
ALL: Best Christmas ever.
[COUGHING]
Was that supposed to be
heart-warming?
Because it was really
more scary than anything.
I thought it was good.
Oh, come on. Snow monsters?
Laser-nosed Rudolph rip-off?
If we're gonna tell
Christmas stories,
which I maintain,
is an inappropriate
means of celebration,
they should at least be
wintry stories like this one.
We were flying through
a Christmas-themed
asteroid field.
Open your next gift, Skips.
This one's from me and Rigby.
We pooled all our gifts
this year.
That way, if one us forgets,
you can just write your name
on the card and nobody knows.
I learned it from my dad.
Uh, thanks.
It's a bazooka.
Merry Christmas.
What am I supposed to do
with it?
It's a T-shirt cannon.
Yeah.
They use 'em
at monster-truck rallies
to keep unruly fans at bay.
From now on, whenever some jerk
gets out of control,
you can be all "Hey, punk,
safe-tee not guaranteed."
Whoops.
Unh.
Oh.
What a wonderful message.
Well, that's all the gifts.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
It's cool we found
this asteroid field
where they celebrate Christmas
all the time.
Wish we could've
got some snow, though.
Forget snow. I wish
we could get some carollers.
Oh, yeah, carollers.
I wouldn't mind
some carollers.
Look, all I'm saying
is the odds of a caroller
knocking on the door right now
are slim to none.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Was anyone expecting company?
[KNOCKING]
Uh, hey, dude.
Nice jacket.
[♪♪♪]
Uh...
I think it's a caroller.
♪ On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me ♪
♪ A partridge in a pear tree ♪
Are those pears?
I haven't had fruit
that wasn't freeze-dried
since we left Earth.
Hmm.
You're cool with me,
mysterious space dirtbag.
Aah.
Get it off. Get it off.
Rigby.
Ha ha. I like this guy.
Unh. Dude, what--
♪ Waah ♪
♪ On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me ♪
♪ Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
[LAUGHING]
Aah. Get 'em off.
Get 'em off.
Okay, dude, thanks for the show,
but you gotta--
♪ Waah ♪
♪ On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me ♪
No.
♪ Three French hens ♪
♪ Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
Waah.
[GASPING]
What do we do?
What do we do?
I-- don't know.
Excuse me. Aah.
[GROWLS]
♪ On the fourth day
of Christmas ♪
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
♪ Four calling birds ♪
♪ Three French hens
Two turtle doves ♪
♪ And a partridge
In a pear tree ♪
Why does this song
have so many birds?
Ahh.
♪ On ♪
♪ The fifth day of Christmas
My true love... ♪
Shut up.
♪ Five golden rings ♪
Unh.
♪ Waah ♪
[SCREAMING]
Watch out.
[HONKS]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTING]
This is crazy.
How do we get rid of this guy?
I don't know. What makes
a caroller leave you alone?
Uh...
oh, dude, cookies.
My mom always gave them cookies,
and they'd go away.
Everyone,
we... need... cookies.
It's for the greater good.
The greater good.
Santa's not the only one
eating cookies tonight.
But we're all out of milk,
so these babies
are going down dry.
♪ Partridges, partridges, waah ♪
[GRUNTING]
Huh? Oh.
[LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
Yeah.
Handbell breakdown.
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLS]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
Hmm.
Cookies now.
[GRUNTS]
Come get some.
[SNARLS]
Cookies.
[GRUNTS]
It's all I've ever wanted.
Thank you.
Waah.
You said you wanted snow.
Now that's a Christmas story,
am I right?
Dude, you're not gonna make
handbells cool.
Yeah. Scale back
the agenda, bro.
Handbells represent
the purity and togetherness
of the holidays, you idiots.
[CLANGING]
They sound like
angels whispering,
and if you can't get that
through your skulls,
that's on you, not me.
We need more peppermint bark.
I'll be right back.
[BELLS JINGLING]
Think we should
go check on Benson?
Bells.
Don't know anything about bells.
Ah, let him cool off
in there.
Yeah. Besides, we've got
another Christmas story.
It starts off just like this.
Yeah, only Benson's
in a good mood.
Hey, I heard that.
Ho ho ho.
Merry Christmas.
Santa's got lots of presents
for each and every one of you.
One for Muscleman.
One for Fives and Eileen.
One for Skips. One for Pops.
Wait. No.
This one's for Skips again.
You must've been extra good.
Pops' present is...
Well, I know it's here.
Santa had his little helpers
get it for him.
You were supposed to get
Pops' present weeks ago.
I even made a packet
specifically telling you
what he wants,
where to get it,
how much it was, who to talk to.
That's too many instructions.
You confused us.
What are we getting again?
An old-fashioned typewriter.
Just go get it now
or Pops will be crushed.
Look at him.
P-P-Present?
But it's Christmas.
All the malls are closed.
There's one mall open,
theoretically.
Benson said
it was around here somewhere.
Uhh. How are we supposed to
find this place
if it's theoretical?
Wait, look.
[♪♪♪]
Do we go in?
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Huh? Where are we?
Where's the cart?
Took care of it for you.
Valet services, you see.
Hmm, that's convenient.
Is this the mall?
You could say it's a mall,
theoretically.
What brings you two here?
Last-minute holiday shopping,
I take it.
Basically we're here to buy
an old-fashioned typewriter.
Ah, those are on
the fifth floor,
or should I say
the Fifth Dimension?
What?
Now, now, we've got many floors
and dimensions to get through.
[DING]
First floor, First Dimension.
[BOTH SCREAM]
BOTH: What was that?
Ah, it's all part of the ride--
dimensions and so on.
Whew, this seems normal.
Aah. 2-d.
Cool.
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm.
Finally, the mall.
Whoa, dude,
they have froyo here.
We should totally get froyo
after this.
Uh...
what was that?
In the fifth dimension,
you can see
all of your possible paths,
even ones
you don't choose to do.
Don't dillydally.
The longer you stay,
the more complicated
things will become. Good luck.
Come on. Let's just
get that typewriter
and get out of here.
Should we go up or down?
Uh...
BOTH: Whoa.
Fifth Dimension.
Dude, video games.
Rigby, wait. Focus, dude.
[LAUGHING]
No more distractions.
Just think "typewriter."
Typewriter, typewriter,
typewriter, typewriter.
[♪♪♪]
Finally.
Let's get this to Pops.
MAN OVER P.A.:
Attention, customers--
the mall is now closed
and will soon be imploding.
Merry Christmas.
What?
Hurry, to the elevator.
[LAUGHING]
[SCREAMING]
[PANTING]
Dude, the elevator's closing.
Theoretically not.
[BELL DINGS]
Huh?
Looks, like you two had fun...
theoretically.
[GROANS]
BOTH: Merry Christmas, Pops.
A typewriter.
Just what I needed
to finish my memoir.
Should I set it up
in the kitchen or my room?
We could do both,
theoretically.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
The end.
I liked the elevator.
Yeah, very inventive.
Oh, but the typewriter
was my favourite.
So, you guys
want to treat Christmas
like it's Halloween, huh?
Well, have I got a story
for you.
[CRUNCH]
All right, we got
a lot of work to do
to make it look Christmas-y
around here.
Skips and Muscleman,
set up the fake snow machine.
Pops, you handle the wreaths.
Mordecai and Rigby,
go decorate the Snack Shack,
and go easy on the lights,
Rigby.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Dude, don't you think
this is a little much?
Remember what Benson said?
Benson's a Scrooge.
[BUZZING]
Aah. Not again.
Why do you always disobey me?
Whatever. You're not my dad.
You know what, Rigby?
You're bad.
You're a bad boy,
and you have been all year.
Tsk. Name one time.
Rigby, you... are a...
bad... boy.
Hey, man, no one's perfect.
Well, enough is enough.
No Santa for you
this Christmas.
This year, you'll get a visit
from Krampus.
Who?
He's the anti-Santa.
Instead of giving presents,
Krampus comes to punish
all the bad children
by stuffing them
into his basket.
Huh.
It's a European thing.
I'm sending him
an e-mail about you right now.
You wouldn't do that.
[BEEP]
[GASPS]
You're ruining my life.
[SOBBING]
You know Krampus isn't real,
right?
Oh, I know.
Just trying to scare him.
[BELLS JINGLING]
[BEEPING]
Oh, Benson?
We have an incoming call
from somebody named Kram... pus.
Huh?
Hi. Hello.
Is there a Rigby onboard?
Uh, Krampus.
It's really you. Ha.
I gotta be honest,
I didn't even know you existed.
Yeah, I got your e-mail.
You know, the one about me
stealing Rigby
and punishing him forever?
Oh, that?
That was just a joke.
We don't really need you,
but thanks, anyway.
"Thanks, anyway"?
It was a real hassle
getting over here, you know.
You've wasted my time, Benson.
You're bad!
You've been a bad boy!
[ALL SCREAM]
[ROARS]
[SIREN WAILS]
He broke through.
Get to your battle stations.
Go, go, go.
[BEEPING]
[ALL GASP]
You're bad.
You're all bad.
You know what that means.
Bask in my basket.
Aah.
This ain't no gift basket.
[GROANS]
Get in here, you basket case.
[WHIMPERS]
♪ A-tisket, a-tasket ♪
♪ I'll put this green chunkadunk
in my basket ♪
Stop. These puns are terrible.
[ALL SCREAM]
[CACKLING]
Krampus, please.
It doesn't have to be this way.
I came to punish Rigby,
and I'm not leaving until I do.
Hey, I'm his boss.
If anyone is gonna punish Rigby,
it's me.
[TONE RINGS]
Ow. What is that
horrible sound?
Oh, wait. These?
[KRAMPUS YOWLS] Handbells?
Why does it always
have to be handbells?
Guys, catch.
[GROWLS]
Follow my lead.
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLS]
I can't handle
such concentrated
Christmas cheer.
[SCREAMING]
We are free.
Ha ha ha.
We are free.
Ha ha ha ha.
Whoa. Krampus
was made of fruitcakes.
It's a Christmas miracle.
Benson, you were right.
Jeez, when will I learn
not to question your authority?
Don't beat yourself up.
You'll learn someday.
Well, I definitely learned
one thing--
handbells are the coolest.
Handbells. Handbells. Handbells.
Handbells. Handbells.
Handbells, handbells, handbells.
Dude, Benson, that was actually
a pretty cool story
till you ruined it
with the handbells.
Yeah.
Nobody likes handbells.
[THUD]
Ho ho ho. Did I hear
someone say "handbells"?
Oh, gross. Who are you?
I'm not gross.
I'm Space Santa, silly.
I've been travelling
billions of light years
to find someone who has
just as much Christmas spirit
as I do,
and that someone
is you, Benson.
Me?
Yep. Put 'er there.
Handbells.
You bet.
Ho ho ho ho.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
ALL: Merry Christmas.
Heh heh heh. Heh heh. The end.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[♪♪♪]
First ever Christmas
in space, guys.
[SLURPS] First Christmas
hot chocolate in space.
First time eating
Benson's peppermint bark
in space.
My first time
making peppermint bark in space.
To be honest, the process
is similar to the Earth version,
but somehow
it just tastes better up here.
Yep. There's only one way
this Christmas could be
any more special.
If we finally receive a message
from our loved ones
telling us they're all right
and we'll see
them again before we die?
Eileen, he's talking about
telling cool Christmas stories.
Ho ho ho-o-o-o-o.
Well, it's really more of
a Halloween thing.
What I'm talking about
are cool Christmas stories
in the form of a song.
Carols.
And handbells. Huh?
So I'll sing the chorus,
and then you guys pick it up.
♪ Ding dong ding dong ♪
Let's save the bell jingling
for when you're by yourself.
Until then, I got a story
about an icy snow planet
called Celsius.
Now remember--we can only stay
while there's sunlight,
and Celsius only has sunlight
for five minutes.
Because if you're here
after it gets dark...
Yeah, the Celsian snow monsters
will get us.
You told us that,
like, ten times already.
I'm making sure you understand
the premise of this place.
But we haven't seen snow
in forever.
Yeah. Snow's what makes
Christmas Christmas.
That and presents.
White Christmas.
White Christmas.
All right, all right.
Five minutes, everyone,
starting...
now.
[BEEP]
Snow day.
[LAUGHING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Ha ha ha ha. Look.
[GIGGLING]
ALL: Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
All right. Cute
don't stop the sun from setting.
Come on, let's get
a white Christmas move-on.
["SILENT NIGHT" PLAYING]
[BEEPS]
Okay, that was fun.
Back to the dome, everybody.
But wait. I haven't done the
Sorenstein Hanukkah tradition
of skiing down a big slope
in my underwear.
Well, make it quick.
We only have,
like, ten seconds left
before the sun sets.
Relax, bro. Here I go.
Aah.
Oh, come on.
You're fine.
Get up. We don't have time
for this.
[SOBBING]
I don't know.
It looks a little twisted?
You can walk.
[TIMER BEEPS]
Ahh. Oh, no.
Merry Christ--
[ROARS]
Back to the ship.
Back to the ship.
[SCREAMING]
Merry Christmas.
[PANTING]
[GRUNTING]
Almost there.
Just keep running.
[SCREAMING]
Merry Christmas.
MONSTERS: Merry Christmas.
Okay, I'm not really sure
what to do now.
There's only one thing
we can do--
use your presents as weapons.
It's holding them off.
Keep throwing stuff. Unh.
Eileen, I spent a long time
customizing that for you.
Huuh.
Mordecai, I had to
special order that
from
the Sno-Cone Machine planet.
I know. And I really
appreciate it,
but Christmas
isn't about gifts.
What? Yes, it is.
Dude, what are you gonna
take with you
when all this is all over?
The stuff?
No. Uhh.
The memories.
Unh.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
What do you mean, Mordecai?
What Christmas
is really about is spending...
Spending money?
No.
Mordecai, what's it about?
It's about
spending time with friends.
[ALL SCREAM]
Huh?
POPS: Ludlow
the Laser-Nosed Reindeer?
That's right. Santa sent me.
He said he's sorry
he couldn't be here,
but he's super-proud of you guys
for realizing
the true spirit of Christmas.
Whoa, it's really him.
From the Ludlow series.
He looks just like himself.
Merry Christmas, guys.
I'll take it from here.
EILEEN: Cool. It's
more effective than presents.
ALL: Thanks, Ludlow.
No problem.
See you guys
on the next Christmas special.
Whoa.
It's so realistic.
He barely has to move.
Stiff as a board.
Well, what did you guys think?
Considering
we got our white Christmas,
made it out alive,
and I didn't have to sacrifice
my awesome new
two-wheel scooter, I'd say...
ALL: Best Christmas ever.
[COUGHING]
Was that supposed to be
heart-warming?
Because it was really
more scary than anything.
I thought it was good.
Oh, come on. Snow monsters?
Laser-nosed Rudolph rip-off?
If we're gonna tell
Christmas stories,
which I maintain,
is an inappropriate
means of celebration,
they should at least be
wintry stories like this one.
We were flying through
a Christmas-themed
asteroid field.
Open your next gift, Skips.
This one's from me and Rigby.
We pooled all our gifts
this year.
That way, if one us forgets,
you can just write your name
on the card and nobody knows.
I learned it from my dad.
Uh, thanks.
It's a bazooka.
Merry Christmas.
What am I supposed to do
with it?
It's a T-shirt cannon.
Yeah.
They use 'em
at monster-truck rallies
to keep unruly fans at bay.
From now on, whenever some jerk
gets out of control,
you can be all "Hey, punk,
safe-tee not guaranteed."
Whoops.
Unh.
Oh.
What a wonderful message.
Well, that's all the gifts.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
It's cool we found
this asteroid field
where they celebrate Christmas
all the time.
Wish we could've
got some snow, though.
Forget snow. I wish
we could get some carollers.
Oh, yeah, carollers.
I wouldn't mind
some carollers.
Look, all I'm saying
is the odds of a caroller
knocking on the door right now
are slim to none.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Was anyone expecting company?
[KNOCKING]
Uh, hey, dude.
Nice jacket.
[♪♪♪]
Uh...
I think it's a caroller.
♪ On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me ♪
♪ A partridge in a pear tree ♪
Are those pears?
I haven't had fruit
that wasn't freeze-dried
since we left Earth.
Hmm.
You're cool with me,
mysterious space dirtbag.
Aah.
Get it off. Get it off.
Rigby.
Ha ha. I like this guy.
Unh. Dude, what--
♪ Waah ♪
♪ On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me ♪
♪ Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
[LAUGHING]
Aah. Get 'em off.
Get 'em off.
Okay, dude, thanks for the show,
but you gotta--
♪ Waah ♪
♪ On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me ♪
No.
♪ Three French hens ♪
♪ Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
Waah.
[GASPING]
What do we do?
What do we do?
I-- don't know.
Excuse me. Aah.
[GROWLS]
♪ On the fourth day
of Christmas ♪
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
♪ Four calling birds ♪
♪ Three French hens
Two turtle doves ♪
♪ And a partridge
In a pear tree ♪
Why does this song
have so many birds?
Ahh.
♪ On ♪
♪ The fifth day of Christmas
My true love... ♪
Shut up.
♪ Five golden rings ♪
Unh.
♪ Waah ♪
[SCREAMING]
Watch out.
[HONKS]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTING]
This is crazy.
How do we get rid of this guy?
I don't know. What makes
a caroller leave you alone?
Uh...
oh, dude, cookies.
My mom always gave them cookies,
and they'd go away.
Everyone,
we... need... cookies.
It's for the greater good.
The greater good.
Santa's not the only one
eating cookies tonight.
But we're all out of milk,
so these babies
are going down dry.
♪ Partridges, partridges, waah ♪
[GRUNTING]
Huh? Oh.
[LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
Yeah.
Handbell breakdown.
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLS]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
Hmm.
Cookies now.
[GRUNTS]
Come get some.
[SNARLS]
Cookies.
[GRUNTS]
It's all I've ever wanted.
Thank you.
Waah.
You said you wanted snow.
Now that's a Christmas story,
am I right?
Dude, you're not gonna make
handbells cool.
Yeah. Scale back
the agenda, bro.
Handbells represent
the purity and togetherness
of the holidays, you idiots.
[CLANGING]
They sound like
angels whispering,
and if you can't get that
through your skulls,
that's on you, not me.
We need more peppermint bark.
I'll be right back.
[BELLS JINGLING]
Think we should
go check on Benson?
Bells.
Don't know anything about bells.
Ah, let him cool off
in there.
Yeah. Besides, we've got
another Christmas story.
It starts off just like this.
Yeah, only Benson's
in a good mood.
Hey, I heard that.
Ho ho ho.
Merry Christmas.
Santa's got lots of presents
for each and every one of you.
One for Muscleman.
One for Fives and Eileen.
One for Skips. One for Pops.
Wait. No.
This one's for Skips again.
You must've been extra good.
Pops' present is...
Well, I know it's here.
Santa had his little helpers
get it for him.
You were supposed to get
Pops' present weeks ago.
I even made a packet
specifically telling you
what he wants,
where to get it,
how much it was, who to talk to.
That's too many instructions.
You confused us.
What are we getting again?
An old-fashioned typewriter.
Just go get it now
or Pops will be crushed.
Look at him.
P-P-Present?
But it's Christmas.
All the malls are closed.
There's one mall open,
theoretically.
Benson said
it was around here somewhere.
Uhh. How are we supposed to
find this place
if it's theoretical?
Wait, look.
[♪♪♪]
Do we go in?
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Huh? Where are we?
Where's the cart?
Took care of it for you.
Valet services, you see.
Hmm, that's convenient.
Is this the mall?
You could say it's a mall,
theoretically.
What brings you two here?
Last-minute holiday shopping,
I take it.
Basically we're here to buy
an old-fashioned typewriter.
Ah, those are on
the fifth floor,
or should I say
the Fifth Dimension?
What?
Now, now, we've got many floors
and dimensions to get through.
[DING]
First floor, First Dimension.
[BOTH SCREAM]
BOTH: What was that?
Ah, it's all part of the ride--
dimensions and so on.
Whew, this seems normal.
Aah. 2-d.
Cool.
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm.
Finally, the mall.
Whoa, dude,
they have froyo here.
We should totally get froyo
after this.
Uh...
what was that?
In the fifth dimension,
you can see
all of your possible paths,
even ones
you don't choose to do.
Don't dillydally.
The longer you stay,
the more complicated
things will become. Good luck.
Come on. Let's just
get that typewriter
and get out of here.
Should we go up or down?
Uh...
BOTH: Whoa.
Fifth Dimension.
Dude, video games.
Rigby, wait. Focus, dude.
[LAUGHING]
No more distractions.
Just think "typewriter."
Typewriter, typewriter,
typewriter, typewriter.
[♪♪♪]
Finally.
Let's get this to Pops.
MAN OVER P.A.:
Attention, customers--
the mall is now closed
and will soon be imploding.
Merry Christmas.
What?
Hurry, to the elevator.
[LAUGHING]
[SCREAMING]
[PANTING]
Dude, the elevator's closing.
Theoretically not.
[BELL DINGS]
Huh?
Looks, like you two had fun...
theoretically.
[GROANS]
BOTH: Merry Christmas, Pops.
A typewriter.
Just what I needed
to finish my memoir.
Should I set it up
in the kitchen or my room?
We could do both,
theoretically.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
The end.
I liked the elevator.
Yeah, very inventive.
Oh, but the typewriter
was my favourite.
So, you guys
want to treat Christmas
like it's Halloween, huh?
Well, have I got a story
for you.
[CRUNCH]
All right, we got
a lot of work to do
to make it look Christmas-y
around here.
Skips and Muscleman,
set up the fake snow machine.
Pops, you handle the wreaths.
Mordecai and Rigby,
go decorate the Snack Shack,
and go easy on the lights,
Rigby.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Dude, don't you think
this is a little much?
Remember what Benson said?
Benson's a Scrooge.
[BUZZING]
Aah. Not again.
Why do you always disobey me?
Whatever. You're not my dad.
You know what, Rigby?
You're bad.
You're a bad boy,
and you have been all year.
Tsk. Name one time.
Rigby, you... are a...
bad... boy.
Hey, man, no one's perfect.
Well, enough is enough.
No Santa for you
this Christmas.
This year, you'll get a visit
from Krampus.
Who?
He's the anti-Santa.
Instead of giving presents,
Krampus comes to punish
all the bad children
by stuffing them
into his basket.
Huh.
It's a European thing.
I'm sending him
an e-mail about you right now.
You wouldn't do that.
[BEEP]
[GASPS]
You're ruining my life.
[SOBBING]
You know Krampus isn't real,
right?
Oh, I know.
Just trying to scare him.
[BELLS JINGLING]
[BEEPING]
Oh, Benson?
We have an incoming call
from somebody named Kram... pus.
Huh?
Hi. Hello.
Is there a Rigby onboard?
Uh, Krampus.
It's really you. Ha.
I gotta be honest,
I didn't even know you existed.
Yeah, I got your e-mail.
You know, the one about me
stealing Rigby
and punishing him forever?
Oh, that?
That was just a joke.
We don't really need you,
but thanks, anyway.
"Thanks, anyway"?
It was a real hassle
getting over here, you know.
You've wasted my time, Benson.
You're bad!
You've been a bad boy!
[ALL SCREAM]
[ROARS]
[SIREN WAILS]
He broke through.
Get to your battle stations.
Go, go, go.
[BEEPING]
[ALL GASP]
You're bad.
You're all bad.
You know what that means.
Bask in my basket.
Aah.
This ain't no gift basket.
[GROANS]
Get in here, you basket case.
[WHIMPERS]
♪ A-tisket, a-tasket ♪
♪ I'll put this green chunkadunk
in my basket ♪
Stop. These puns are terrible.
[ALL SCREAM]
[CACKLING]
Krampus, please.
It doesn't have to be this way.
I came to punish Rigby,
and I'm not leaving until I do.
Hey, I'm his boss.
If anyone is gonna punish Rigby,
it's me.
[TONE RINGS]
Ow. What is that
horrible sound?
Oh, wait. These?
[KRAMPUS YOWLS] Handbells?
Why does it always
have to be handbells?
Guys, catch.
[GROWLS]
Follow my lead.
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLS]
I can't handle
such concentrated
Christmas cheer.
[SCREAMING]
We are free.
Ha ha ha.
We are free.
Ha ha ha ha.
Whoa. Krampus
was made of fruitcakes.
It's a Christmas miracle.
Benson, you were right.
Jeez, when will I learn
not to question your authority?
Don't beat yourself up.
You'll learn someday.
Well, I definitely learned
one thing--
handbells are the coolest.
Handbells. Handbells. Handbells.
Handbells. Handbells.
Handbells, handbells, handbells.
Dude, Benson, that was actually
a pretty cool story
till you ruined it
with the handbells.
Yeah.
Nobody likes handbells.
[THUD]
Ho ho ho. Did I hear
someone say "handbells"?
Oh, gross. Who are you?
I'm not gross.
I'm Space Santa, silly.
I've been travelling
billions of light years
to find someone who has
just as much Christmas spirit
as I do,
and that someone
is you, Benson.
Me?
Yep. Put 'er there.
Handbells.
You bet.
Ho ho ho ho.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
ALL: Merry Christmas.
Heh heh heh. Heh heh. The end.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]