Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 8, Episode 20 - The Ice Tape - full transcript
Pops finds a tape that contain answers to his questions
ALL: Aah.
Nice. Customers.
Can I help you?
I want to help you.
Guys, guys, it's my turn.
What are you looking for?
Action? Comedy? Action-comedy?
Sorry. We actually don't know
what we're looking for,
but this map
that Mary Stone gave us
says that whatever it is,
it's somewhere in this store.
It's gonna be
a little hard to know
what kind of action comedy
to recommend
if you don't know
what you're looking for.
[ALL GASP]
The Chosen One.
The Chosen One? Where?
Oh, my.
We have something
to show you.
What are they doing?
Duh.
They're gonna put Pops' head
in that hole
to open a secret door.
It's pretty obvious, Benson.
ALL: Whoa.
Told you.
What's behind the door?
Key to your past.
It's... for me.
It's probably
a sweet Pops origin story.
Maybe it'll tell us
what we're supposed to do next.
Plus, that tape's
made out of ice.
We totally got to watch it.
Can we use
one of your VCRs upstairs?
The tape won't work
in any normal VCR.
You must take the tape
to the Forbidden Mountain.
There, and only there,
may the contents of the tape
be revealed to you.
It'll be pretty dangerous,
but we'll gladly die
to make sure you get there
to watch that tape.
Not sure
that will be necessary.
Let's roll.
All this Pops "Chosen One" stuff
is crazy.
I mean, I always thought
he was just an old guy.
A nice old guy,
but, you know?
Yeah. I wonder what
he really is.
Like, what if Pops
isn't Pops at all.
What if Pops is a robot?
Oh. Or what if he's actually
a smaller guy piloting a robot?
Yeah,
that sounds about right.
We're almost to the mountain,
but to get there,
we must first cross
this frozen lake.
That looks pretty dangerous.
Is there another way?
Well, sure. If you want to
go through Magma Lake
or Lightning Lake,
be my guest.
Those names
feel pretty on the nose.
All right. Guess we'll go across
the frozen lake.
That's what I thought.
We must make haste,
careful haste.
Uh... guys?
Ditch the snowmobiles.
Run.
[ALL PANTING]
[GASPS]
I'm not gonna make it.
Huuh.
No, Joel.
It's too late for me.
RIGBY: Just jump it.
EILEEN: I really think
you can make it.
Uh... I'm not much of a jumper.
You sure you don't want to
at least try?
Well, uh...
I could give it a try.
Whoa. Oh, man.
I forgot to jump.
Joel.
Now I'm for sure a goner.
Just go.
Maybe we could make
a human chain and pull you out?
But you guys'll be
really cold.
It really won't
be that bad.
[WHIMPERS]
Okay, that sounds good.
L-Let's try that.
Aah.
Well... we tried.
Let's keep moving.
[CLACK CLACK]
It was very brave of...
J-Joel?
Joel.
Joel to sacrifice himself
like that.
What do you think
is on that tape?
I have no idea,
but I'm eager to find out.
I know so little about myself,
about my past.
I can't even remember anything
from before
I was two years old.
Uh, nobody can remember
that far back, Pops.
Yeah, two?
I can hardly remember anything
before I was 22.
Perhaps you're right.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
SKIPS:
Hey, take a look at this.
It's bones.
Uh... I don't think
we should stay here.
Agreed. This is definitely
a snow mammoth's den.
And from
the looks of it...
[ROARS]
He's right there.
Everyone run.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Over here.
Go get it.
[ROARS]
Aah.
[SCREAMS]
Fi. No.
I'm not worth it.
Go on without me.
You should really have
some more self-respect.
You deserve to live
as much as any of us.
You know...
maybe you're right.
Oh, no.
Now it's really too late.
Fi. No-o-o-o!
There's a hole over here
we can go through.
Come on. Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
Aah.
Aah.
Aah.
[SQUEALS]
ALL: Whoa.
Greetings, travellers.
MORDECAI: Aw, what?
The Eggscellent Knight?
How are you up here?
Yeah,
we're not even on Earth.
I posted my résumé
on one of those job websites,
and bingo--
I got some relic-guarding work
outside
the Andromeda Galaxy.
Anyways, I'm here to tell you
of these three VCRs.
One of fire. One of ice.
One that's seemingly normal.
Choose incorrectly,
and the information
will be lost forever.
So which one
do we choose?
That seemingly normal one's
definitely a trap.
[GUN COCKS]
I can't say.
I don't know.
Ice tape, ice VCR?
Am I crazy here?
Makes sense to me.
What do you say, Pops?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Delivery
for Mr. Maellard, see.
Careful, sir.
It seems to be quite hot, see.
Don't tell me how to handle
my highly futuristic
equipment, see.
Whatever you say, see.
Say, is this thing
made well?
I need it to last
a while, see.
Well, sir, you could upgrade
to a lifetime warranty
for 25 cents, see.
Sounds like a scam, see.
Get outta my house,
you crook.
[GASPS] It's the fire one.
Really?
Won't it just melt
if we put it in there?
And then we'd never know
what's on it.
You won't be able to
learn about your destiny.
Just trust me.
Good luck, Chosen One.
[ROARS]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Hold it off.
Pops must see the tape.
[GROWLS]
It's just making the place
smell like burnt wigs.
It's all we got.
Keep shooting.
[ROARS]
[ALL GASP]
No.
We didn't come this far
to not get answers.
[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I got it.
Aah.
[LASER FIRES]
For Pops.
[PANTING]
Kai, no!
We could just
keep shooting rocks at him.
It was working really well.
Unh. What?
[GASPS]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
I knew my time would come.
And it was totally worth it.
I gotta go-o-o-o.
Kai? Kai? Hello?
She said it was worth it.
Those three.
If nothing else,
they had a calling.
Ahem. It is time
to make your choice.
ALL: Ooh.
You have chosen wisely.
You did it, Pops.
You found the tape.
ALL: Mr. Maellard?
Papa?
I couldn't be more proud.
Now, I think it's high time
that I explain some things
to you.
A long time ago,
I was on an expedition
for recently fallen meteorites.
People at the time
liked the look of them,
so they'd pay a pretty penny.
Then one day,
a brand-new meteor fell.
It was my lucky day.
But when we went to inspect it,
we found something else.
It was you.
Baby you but you--
my Pops.
I called you that 'cause you
looked super old. Heh.
But then...
I found something else.
With you, I found a scroll.
The scroll explained that
you are special,
not of this Earth.
It told the tale
of two brothers.
One--the embodiment
of pure good,
and the other--
filled with pure evil,
destined to be at war
with one another.
I hoped I'd found
the good one. Heh heh heh.
I hate returning things.
So I decided to hide you
in the most ordinary place
I could find.
All I wanted is for you
to live out
the rest of your days
safely on Earth,
but that isn't your destiny.
The universe
is beginning to unravel.
And it can only be the work
of that brother of yours,
out there somewhere.
His instinct--only to destroy.
You, Pops,
have the power to stop him.
You're the only thing
standing between him
and the destruction
of the universe.
Pops, I'm sure by now,
you've started to notice
your body's changing.
You're finding powers
where there were no powers
before.
These are
the beginning manifestations
of your true form.
You must learn
to harness your powers
if you are to survive.
The scroll
speaks of the strongest,
most powerful trainer--Earl,
who will teach you
how to use your powers.
I know it's a lot to take in,
but I believe in you.
And, Pops,
I may not be your real father,
but you were always
my real son.
Should we do another one?
Did we get that?
Oh, boy.
Guess Pops isn't a robot.
So... how do we find
this trainer?
Looking for me?
Uhh?
Uhh?
I am Earl from the tape.
Now, who's ready to train?
OTHERS: Ohh.
Yes, of course he's old.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Nice. Customers.
Can I help you?
I want to help you.
Guys, guys, it's my turn.
What are you looking for?
Action? Comedy? Action-comedy?
Sorry. We actually don't know
what we're looking for,
but this map
that Mary Stone gave us
says that whatever it is,
it's somewhere in this store.
It's gonna be
a little hard to know
what kind of action comedy
to recommend
if you don't know
what you're looking for.
[ALL GASP]
The Chosen One.
The Chosen One? Where?
Oh, my.
We have something
to show you.
What are they doing?
Duh.
They're gonna put Pops' head
in that hole
to open a secret door.
It's pretty obvious, Benson.
ALL: Whoa.
Told you.
What's behind the door?
Key to your past.
It's... for me.
It's probably
a sweet Pops origin story.
Maybe it'll tell us
what we're supposed to do next.
Plus, that tape's
made out of ice.
We totally got to watch it.
Can we use
one of your VCRs upstairs?
The tape won't work
in any normal VCR.
You must take the tape
to the Forbidden Mountain.
There, and only there,
may the contents of the tape
be revealed to you.
It'll be pretty dangerous,
but we'll gladly die
to make sure you get there
to watch that tape.
Not sure
that will be necessary.
Let's roll.
All this Pops "Chosen One" stuff
is crazy.
I mean, I always thought
he was just an old guy.
A nice old guy,
but, you know?
Yeah. I wonder what
he really is.
Like, what if Pops
isn't Pops at all.
What if Pops is a robot?
Oh. Or what if he's actually
a smaller guy piloting a robot?
Yeah,
that sounds about right.
We're almost to the mountain,
but to get there,
we must first cross
this frozen lake.
That looks pretty dangerous.
Is there another way?
Well, sure. If you want to
go through Magma Lake
or Lightning Lake,
be my guest.
Those names
feel pretty on the nose.
All right. Guess we'll go across
the frozen lake.
That's what I thought.
We must make haste,
careful haste.
Uh... guys?
Ditch the snowmobiles.
Run.
[ALL PANTING]
[GASPS]
I'm not gonna make it.
Huuh.
No, Joel.
It's too late for me.
RIGBY: Just jump it.
EILEEN: I really think
you can make it.
Uh... I'm not much of a jumper.
You sure you don't want to
at least try?
Well, uh...
I could give it a try.
Whoa. Oh, man.
I forgot to jump.
Joel.
Now I'm for sure a goner.
Just go.
Maybe we could make
a human chain and pull you out?
But you guys'll be
really cold.
It really won't
be that bad.
[WHIMPERS]
Okay, that sounds good.
L-Let's try that.
Aah.
Well... we tried.
Let's keep moving.
[CLACK CLACK]
It was very brave of...
J-Joel?
Joel.
Joel to sacrifice himself
like that.
What do you think
is on that tape?
I have no idea,
but I'm eager to find out.
I know so little about myself,
about my past.
I can't even remember anything
from before
I was two years old.
Uh, nobody can remember
that far back, Pops.
Yeah, two?
I can hardly remember anything
before I was 22.
Perhaps you're right.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
SKIPS:
Hey, take a look at this.
It's bones.
Uh... I don't think
we should stay here.
Agreed. This is definitely
a snow mammoth's den.
And from
the looks of it...
[ROARS]
He's right there.
Everyone run.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Over here.
Go get it.
[ROARS]
Aah.
[SCREAMS]
Fi. No.
I'm not worth it.
Go on without me.
You should really have
some more self-respect.
You deserve to live
as much as any of us.
You know...
maybe you're right.
Oh, no.
Now it's really too late.
Fi. No-o-o-o!
There's a hole over here
we can go through.
Come on. Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
Aah.
Aah.
Aah.
[SQUEALS]
ALL: Whoa.
Greetings, travellers.
MORDECAI: Aw, what?
The Eggscellent Knight?
How are you up here?
Yeah,
we're not even on Earth.
I posted my résumé
on one of those job websites,
and bingo--
I got some relic-guarding work
outside
the Andromeda Galaxy.
Anyways, I'm here to tell you
of these three VCRs.
One of fire. One of ice.
One that's seemingly normal.
Choose incorrectly,
and the information
will be lost forever.
So which one
do we choose?
That seemingly normal one's
definitely a trap.
[GUN COCKS]
I can't say.
I don't know.
Ice tape, ice VCR?
Am I crazy here?
Makes sense to me.
What do you say, Pops?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Delivery
for Mr. Maellard, see.
Careful, sir.
It seems to be quite hot, see.
Don't tell me how to handle
my highly futuristic
equipment, see.
Whatever you say, see.
Say, is this thing
made well?
I need it to last
a while, see.
Well, sir, you could upgrade
to a lifetime warranty
for 25 cents, see.
Sounds like a scam, see.
Get outta my house,
you crook.
[GASPS] It's the fire one.
Really?
Won't it just melt
if we put it in there?
And then we'd never know
what's on it.
You won't be able to
learn about your destiny.
Just trust me.
Good luck, Chosen One.
[ROARS]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Hold it off.
Pops must see the tape.
[GROWLS]
It's just making the place
smell like burnt wigs.
It's all we got.
Keep shooting.
[ROARS]
[ALL GASP]
No.
We didn't come this far
to not get answers.
[GRUNTS AND GROANS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I got it.
Aah.
[LASER FIRES]
For Pops.
[PANTING]
Kai, no!
We could just
keep shooting rocks at him.
It was working really well.
Unh. What?
[GASPS]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
I knew my time would come.
And it was totally worth it.
I gotta go-o-o-o.
Kai? Kai? Hello?
She said it was worth it.
Those three.
If nothing else,
they had a calling.
Ahem. It is time
to make your choice.
ALL: Ooh.
You have chosen wisely.
You did it, Pops.
You found the tape.
ALL: Mr. Maellard?
Papa?
I couldn't be more proud.
Now, I think it's high time
that I explain some things
to you.
A long time ago,
I was on an expedition
for recently fallen meteorites.
People at the time
liked the look of them,
so they'd pay a pretty penny.
Then one day,
a brand-new meteor fell.
It was my lucky day.
But when we went to inspect it,
we found something else.
It was you.
Baby you but you--
my Pops.
I called you that 'cause you
looked super old. Heh.
But then...
I found something else.
With you, I found a scroll.
The scroll explained that
you are special,
not of this Earth.
It told the tale
of two brothers.
One--the embodiment
of pure good,
and the other--
filled with pure evil,
destined to be at war
with one another.
I hoped I'd found
the good one. Heh heh heh.
I hate returning things.
So I decided to hide you
in the most ordinary place
I could find.
All I wanted is for you
to live out
the rest of your days
safely on Earth,
but that isn't your destiny.
The universe
is beginning to unravel.
And it can only be the work
of that brother of yours,
out there somewhere.
His instinct--only to destroy.
You, Pops,
have the power to stop him.
You're the only thing
standing between him
and the destruction
of the universe.
Pops, I'm sure by now,
you've started to notice
your body's changing.
You're finding powers
where there were no powers
before.
These are
the beginning manifestations
of your true form.
You must learn
to harness your powers
if you are to survive.
The scroll
speaks of the strongest,
most powerful trainer--Earl,
who will teach you
how to use your powers.
I know it's a lot to take in,
but I believe in you.
And, Pops,
I may not be your real father,
but you were always
my real son.
Should we do another one?
Did we get that?
Oh, boy.
Guess Pops isn't a robot.
So... how do we find
this trainer?
Looking for me?
Uhh?
Uhh?
I am Earl from the tape.
Now, who's ready to train?
OTHERS: Ohh.
Yes, of course he's old.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]