Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 8, Episode 10 - Spacey Mc SpaceTree - full transcript
Rigby must past a safety test.
Oh-h-h-h.
Time to kick this up a notch.
Dude, you can't shoot
at maximum power.
Your little body
can't handle it.
You don't know what
my body is capable of.
Eh, those new curtains
really tie the room
together, eh?
Yeah, eh? More maple syrup
for your pancakes, eh?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, gee.
[FIRE ALARM RINGING]
The Canadians?
Of all people.
They're the most pleasant group
on the entire Space Tree.
I said I was sorry.
You're a loose cannon, Rigby,
and I won't tolerate
your unsafe behaviour anymore.
Unsafe? I'm totally--
Whoa. Whoa-oa-oa-oa.
Safe?
I'm putting you on probation.
That means
no more target practice,
no off-site privileges,
and, of course, no food trucks.
[GASPS] But tomorrow
is Roxie's Famous Fry Truck.
Her space salt is delicious.
Well, I guess
it's no space salt for you.
Can't you let me slide
just this once?
Hmm. If you pass
the Space Tree safety test,
I'll let you off the hook.
But I suggest
you start studying now.
This thing's drier than
a bowl of pretzels
on Dust Planet 9.
Come on, Rawls.
I just graduated high school.
I'm not gonna read that thing.
Well, there is another way
for those less, uh, literate.
Name it.
Perkins...
awaken Spacey McSpacetree.
[ALARM BUZZES]
[BEEPING]
[AIR HISSES]
Hey, everybody.
[CHORTLES] Hello, Spacey.
Been a while.
Who is this guy?
Rigby, this is
Spacey McSpacetree,
our beloved mascot.
He's been in cryo-sleep
for the last 30 years.
That costume sure looks like
it's from 30 years ago.
Cos... tume?
Hey, show him some respect.
He's gonna stick with you
until you pass the test.
That's right.
You can't be Safey McSafety
without Spacey McSpacetree.
It's certainly nice
to wake up to a new friend.
Put 'er there, Rigby.
Whoa. Careful now.
That's a very unsafe handshake
you got there.
We're gonna
have to work on that.
[GROANS]
So, in conclusion,
the seat belt
always go over the waist.
Do you need another
demonstration?
Ahh. I got it.
You already showed me,
like, five times.
[GASPS]
Pump the brakes there,
amigo.
That's a safety violation
waiting to happen.
I was just putting it down.
I wasn't gonna spill it.
[SIGHS] Okay, picture this.
Say you're walking around
minding your own business,
then bam--
you knock into the table.
Aw, come on.
Then, next thing
you know--whoop.
You end up hurting yourself
or worse.
Whoa.
You end up
in the hospital.
Ahh. You did that on purpose.
That would never happen
in real life.
Hey, what's the commotion
in here?
Whoa. Aah.
Unh.
Oh, Benson.
W-W-W-Whoa.
[WHIMPERS] Bad show.
See?
Come on, bro. Dig deep.
[GRUNTS]
Huh? What?
[CHUCKLING]
Zero G.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
Aw. I want to pretend like
I can lift heavy stuff.
Stupid probation.
They're not even
wearing helmets in there.
Uno momento, Rig-bud.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
[DOOR OPENS]
Hey, guys.
Having a good time?
Whoops.
[CRASH]
Still look fun to you?
[CLUNK]
Dude, what's wrong
with your new friend?
He's not my friend. He's just
teaching me about safety
so I can get off probation.
Why didn't you just read
the safety manual?
Yeah, bro.
It's a pretty informative read.
Well, I wish I knew that
before I got stuck with
this crazy tree guy
following me around
and judging my every move.
Rigby,
that's a safety violation.
Don't you know that
seven out of ten
lunchtime injuries
are directly related
to tray slamming?
This could've been you.
[ALL GASP]
Whoa, eh.
I'm sorry. Sorry.
Spacey,
what's your problem?
Hey, I'm just
watching your back, buddy.
I still got to teach you
about safety with music.
[♪♪♪]
Safe... Safey McSafety.
[SNORES]
Dude, turn. Turn.
Aah. Got to be safe.
If I'm not safe,
he'll show up.
Dude, are you all right?
You look horrible.
It's Spacey.
I got to get him off my back
once and for all.
Yeah, you got to pass
that test.
I can't take much more
of that guy.
Don't worry. I have a plan.
Take the wheel.
Hey, where are you going?
Aren't you on proba-- Aah.
So Spacey says
you're ready for this?
Look, I even have
written permission.
Hmm. Looks like
30 years of cryo-sleep
did a number on
his penmanship.
But if Spacey says you're ready,
you're ready.
This is our
testing overlook machine,
or as we like to call it--TOM.
It's proficient in all forms
of safety protocol.
Hello, TOM.
This is Rigby.
Hello, Rigby. I look forward
to grading your test.
Whoa. This is a test?
Does it come with a crazy pencil
or something?
No, there's no pencil.
Just call out your answer, and
it will fill in automatically.
Once it's complete,
insert it into TOM.
Good luck.
Uhh. How long does he want me
to do this?
[SIREN WAILING]
Huh?
[SIREN STOPS]
Rigby,
old buddy, old pal.
Couldn't help but notice
you were driving
a little erratically back there.
That's not very...
safe?
Uhh-h-h-- Whoa.
Where is he? Where's Rigby?
Dude, I don't know.
I don't know.
[SIREN WAILING]
Rig-by.
Okay, question 17-- "B."
All right. Question 18.
[SIREN WAILING]
I'm coming, buddy.
Whoa.
Look both ways.
You're not being safe.
I'm sorry.
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Man, this is easier
than I thought.
"C."
[BEEP]
Goodbye, Spacey,
and goodbye, probation.
[THUD]
Rigby!
You're not ready!
Uh-oh. "A," "B," "D,"
"A," "B," "B," "B."
[PANTING]
[PANTING]
Gimme that.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Let go.
No.
You still have
so much to learn.
No. I'm through with you.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
No.
[BOTH GROAN]
Yes.
Error. Test malfunction.
[BOTH GASP]
[WHIRRING]
Now look what you've done.
Me? It was you.
You're ruining my life.
[BOTH GASP]
Ruining your life?
I thought we were bros.
You're the first friend I've had
in 30 years.
Don't make like a tree
and leave me.
Spacey.
Aah. What do I do?
What do I do?
Quick--
stop, drop, and roll.
[SCREAMING]
[WHIRS; DING]
I got to finish
the test.
Come on,
we can still fix this.
Wh-What? Us against that?
That's totally unsafe.
Hey, sometimes you got to be
unsafe to be safe.
Aah-aah.
Quick. Grab the test
and read me the questions.
Which ones
did you leave blank?
Uh...
27, 44, and 83.
Yaah. Unh.
Okay, question 27.
"What do you do
during a space-quake?"
Ahh, I know this.
Oh. Take cover
underneath a table.
Aah.
[DING]
Nice one.
Okay, question 44.
"Where are you permitted to use
Space Tree laser guns?"
Only in
designated shooting areas.
Or if we're under attack,
of course.
Waah.
[DING]
Okay, last question.
"What should you never do
with space soda?"
What are my options?
A--drink while operating
heavy machinery.
B--put it on the edge
of a table.
C--drink more than
two bottles a day.
[SCREAMS]
Come on, Rigby.
We went over this.
Whoa.
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
"D." [COUGHS]
[DING]
All of the above.
[SCREAMS]
[CLANK]
Safety test complete.
Processing results.
Congratulations. You pass.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Hey, thanks, guys.
Yeah, it worked out.
Thanks for helping me, Spacey.
No problem.
Sorry for being so clingy.
If I've learned anything,
it's that being too attached
is emotionally unsafe.
Here.
You keep that safe
for me.
You got it, friend.
Care for more of Roxie's
food-truck fries, Rigby?
Or should I say
Safey McSafety.
Heh heh heh.
[GASPS]
Safety violation.
Come on, bro.
I'm not gonna spill it.
Oops.
Tea time.
[BOTH SCREAM]
[FIRE ALARM RINGING]
I'm going back to cryo-sleep.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Time to kick this up a notch.
Dude, you can't shoot
at maximum power.
Your little body
can't handle it.
You don't know what
my body is capable of.
Eh, those new curtains
really tie the room
together, eh?
Yeah, eh? More maple syrup
for your pancakes, eh?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, gee.
[FIRE ALARM RINGING]
The Canadians?
Of all people.
They're the most pleasant group
on the entire Space Tree.
I said I was sorry.
You're a loose cannon, Rigby,
and I won't tolerate
your unsafe behaviour anymore.
Unsafe? I'm totally--
Whoa. Whoa-oa-oa-oa.
Safe?
I'm putting you on probation.
That means
no more target practice,
no off-site privileges,
and, of course, no food trucks.
[GASPS] But tomorrow
is Roxie's Famous Fry Truck.
Her space salt is delicious.
Well, I guess
it's no space salt for you.
Can't you let me slide
just this once?
Hmm. If you pass
the Space Tree safety test,
I'll let you off the hook.
But I suggest
you start studying now.
This thing's drier than
a bowl of pretzels
on Dust Planet 9.
Come on, Rawls.
I just graduated high school.
I'm not gonna read that thing.
Well, there is another way
for those less, uh, literate.
Name it.
Perkins...
awaken Spacey McSpacetree.
[ALARM BUZZES]
[BEEPING]
[AIR HISSES]
Hey, everybody.
[CHORTLES] Hello, Spacey.
Been a while.
Who is this guy?
Rigby, this is
Spacey McSpacetree,
our beloved mascot.
He's been in cryo-sleep
for the last 30 years.
That costume sure looks like
it's from 30 years ago.
Cos... tume?
Hey, show him some respect.
He's gonna stick with you
until you pass the test.
That's right.
You can't be Safey McSafety
without Spacey McSpacetree.
It's certainly nice
to wake up to a new friend.
Put 'er there, Rigby.
Whoa. Careful now.
That's a very unsafe handshake
you got there.
We're gonna
have to work on that.
[GROANS]
So, in conclusion,
the seat belt
always go over the waist.
Do you need another
demonstration?
Ahh. I got it.
You already showed me,
like, five times.
[GASPS]
Pump the brakes there,
amigo.
That's a safety violation
waiting to happen.
I was just putting it down.
I wasn't gonna spill it.
[SIGHS] Okay, picture this.
Say you're walking around
minding your own business,
then bam--
you knock into the table.
Aw, come on.
Then, next thing
you know--whoop.
You end up hurting yourself
or worse.
Whoa.
You end up
in the hospital.
Ahh. You did that on purpose.
That would never happen
in real life.
Hey, what's the commotion
in here?
Whoa. Aah.
Unh.
Oh, Benson.
W-W-W-Whoa.
[WHIMPERS] Bad show.
See?
Come on, bro. Dig deep.
[GRUNTS]
Huh? What?
[CHUCKLING]
Zero G.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
Aw. I want to pretend like
I can lift heavy stuff.
Stupid probation.
They're not even
wearing helmets in there.
Uno momento, Rig-bud.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
[DOOR OPENS]
Hey, guys.
Having a good time?
Whoops.
[CRASH]
Still look fun to you?
[CLUNK]
Dude, what's wrong
with your new friend?
He's not my friend. He's just
teaching me about safety
so I can get off probation.
Why didn't you just read
the safety manual?
Yeah, bro.
It's a pretty informative read.
Well, I wish I knew that
before I got stuck with
this crazy tree guy
following me around
and judging my every move.
Rigby,
that's a safety violation.
Don't you know that
seven out of ten
lunchtime injuries
are directly related
to tray slamming?
This could've been you.
[ALL GASP]
Whoa, eh.
I'm sorry. Sorry.
Spacey,
what's your problem?
Hey, I'm just
watching your back, buddy.
I still got to teach you
about safety with music.
[♪♪♪]
Safe... Safey McSafety.
[SNORES]
Dude, turn. Turn.
Aah. Got to be safe.
If I'm not safe,
he'll show up.
Dude, are you all right?
You look horrible.
It's Spacey.
I got to get him off my back
once and for all.
Yeah, you got to pass
that test.
I can't take much more
of that guy.
Don't worry. I have a plan.
Take the wheel.
Hey, where are you going?
Aren't you on proba-- Aah.
So Spacey says
you're ready for this?
Look, I even have
written permission.
Hmm. Looks like
30 years of cryo-sleep
did a number on
his penmanship.
But if Spacey says you're ready,
you're ready.
This is our
testing overlook machine,
or as we like to call it--TOM.
It's proficient in all forms
of safety protocol.
Hello, TOM.
This is Rigby.
Hello, Rigby. I look forward
to grading your test.
Whoa. This is a test?
Does it come with a crazy pencil
or something?
No, there's no pencil.
Just call out your answer, and
it will fill in automatically.
Once it's complete,
insert it into TOM.
Good luck.
Uhh. How long does he want me
to do this?
[SIREN WAILING]
Huh?
[SIREN STOPS]
Rigby,
old buddy, old pal.
Couldn't help but notice
you were driving
a little erratically back there.
That's not very...
safe?
Uhh-h-h-- Whoa.
Where is he? Where's Rigby?
Dude, I don't know.
I don't know.
[SIREN WAILING]
Rig-by.
Okay, question 17-- "B."
All right. Question 18.
[SIREN WAILING]
I'm coming, buddy.
Whoa.
Look both ways.
You're not being safe.
I'm sorry.
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Man, this is easier
than I thought.
"C."
[BEEP]
Goodbye, Spacey,
and goodbye, probation.
[THUD]
Rigby!
You're not ready!
Uh-oh. "A," "B," "D,"
"A," "B," "B," "B."
[PANTING]
[PANTING]
Gimme that.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Let go.
No.
You still have
so much to learn.
No. I'm through with you.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
No.
[BOTH GROAN]
Yes.
Error. Test malfunction.
[BOTH GASP]
[WHIRRING]
Now look what you've done.
Me? It was you.
You're ruining my life.
[BOTH GASP]
Ruining your life?
I thought we were bros.
You're the first friend I've had
in 30 years.
Don't make like a tree
and leave me.
Spacey.
Aah. What do I do?
What do I do?
Quick--
stop, drop, and roll.
[SCREAMING]
[WHIRS; DING]
I got to finish
the test.
Come on,
we can still fix this.
Wh-What? Us against that?
That's totally unsafe.
Hey, sometimes you got to be
unsafe to be safe.
Aah-aah.
Quick. Grab the test
and read me the questions.
Which ones
did you leave blank?
Uh...
27, 44, and 83.
Yaah. Unh.
Okay, question 27.
"What do you do
during a space-quake?"
Ahh, I know this.
Oh. Take cover
underneath a table.
Aah.
[DING]
Nice one.
Okay, question 44.
"Where are you permitted to use
Space Tree laser guns?"
Only in
designated shooting areas.
Or if we're under attack,
of course.
Waah.
[DING]
Okay, last question.
"What should you never do
with space soda?"
What are my options?
A--drink while operating
heavy machinery.
B--put it on the edge
of a table.
C--drink more than
two bottles a day.
[SCREAMS]
Come on, Rigby.
We went over this.
Whoa.
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
"D." [COUGHS]
[DING]
All of the above.
[SCREAMS]
[CLANK]
Safety test complete.
Processing results.
Congratulations. You pass.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Hey, thanks, guys.
Yeah, it worked out.
Thanks for helping me, Spacey.
No problem.
Sorry for being so clingy.
If I've learned anything,
it's that being too attached
is emotionally unsafe.
Here.
You keep that safe
for me.
You got it, friend.
Care for more of Roxie's
food-truck fries, Rigby?
Or should I say
Safey McSafety.
Heh heh heh.
[GASPS]
Safety violation.
Come on, bro.
I'm not gonna spill it.
Oops.
Tea time.
[BOTH SCREAM]
[FIRE ALARM RINGING]
I'm going back to cryo-sleep.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]