Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 35 - Deez Keys - full transcript
Mordecai and Rigby have to sneak into the dome laboratory to get Benson's keys back.
[♪♪♪]
[BEATBOXING]
♪ Yo, my name is Rigby.
I got pizza galore ♪
♪ You may have a lot of pizza,
but I got much more ♪
♪ Had to borrow Benson's car
'cause it's a crisis ♪
♪ Downtown they're selling
slices at half prices ♪
♪ I knew he'd say no,
so I didn't say "please" ♪
♪ I snuck into his office
and made off with deez keys ♪
BOTH:
♪ Deez keys, deez keys
Made off with deez keys ♪
Whoops!
Dude! What the--
Hey, it's Benson's fault!
He's got, like,
a million keys on that ring!
Dude, we got to get
those keys back.
But, how?
Let's go ask
those scientists.
And that's why
he only has one ear.
[LAUGHTER]
Ahem.
Hey, there, guys
We accidentally threw our
bosses car keys through
that window up there.
Could you just run
and grab them for us?
Yeah, sorry, pal.
We're not allowed to interact
with the "test subjects."
Anyway, looks like they landed
in Langer's penthouse,
which is a top security area.
No one goes in there.
There's got to be
something you can do?
Maybe, but, ya know...
No, thanks.
Aw, what?!
Hey!
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we're on our lunch break.
[GRUNTS]
[TEETH GRIND]
[LAUGHS]
So good.
[GRUNTS]
[GULPS]
Hm-hm-hm!
Hm-hm-hm!
Too bad Langer
only lets you eat
those gross,
compressed food bars.
Maybe if you help us out,
we could sneak you
some real food?
Maybe something like
thi-i-i-is?
[ALL GASP]
No! It doesn't matter!
You could never
get past Langer's
security systems
anyways.
Uh, well, they might be able
to if we helped them?
Shut up, Tobias!
They don't need to know that!
Well, I'm not gonna risk
losing my job over some food!
[CHOMP]
Blaaaah.
Yeah, we should do it.
Fine. We'll vote on it.
Huddle up.
Dude,
pizza fixes everything.
Yeah, it does!
Okay, we'll help you
get the keys.
We're gonna need four
extra-large pepperoni pizzas?
Get the pizzas, and we'll meet
you at your room in an hour.
BOTH:
Okay!
This never happened.
[♪♪♪]
Ugh! Why is the pizza place
have to be so far away?
Yeah, but it'll be worth it
when we get those keys.
[KNOCKING]
You got the stuff?
Yeah, dude.
Trent.
TRENT:
Pepperoni.
It checks out.
All right.
What the?!
What did you do to our room?!
Just give us the keys.
Where are they?
In Langer's
penthouse.
What?!
Oh, come on!
Do you really think we'd
really risk our jobs
and break into
Langer's room?
[CHUCKLES]
You're gonna do that.
But you said
you'd help us!
And, we are.
We've rigged up your room
as a command station.
Langer's gotten crazy
about security.
Infrared lasers, booby traps,
cameras all over the place.
[CHUCKLES]
But lucky for you,
our top minds will
guide you through it.
[CHUCKLES MORONICALLY]
Pizza.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
So you've got
about an hour
to get in and out
and grab the keys
while Langer is busy
at his afternoon workout.
[GRUNTING]
Ugh!
Fine, we'll do it.
All right, let's suit
these two up!
[♪♪♪]
We're in position.
TRENT:
Okay, stay put.
Rachel's gonna use a dome-drone
to distract the guards.
Oh, hey there H-2953,
what's going--
Oh!
Easy now!
Let's all just...
[SCREAMING]
Why?!
Yeesh!
The guards are distracted--
begin phase 1.
[♪♪♪]
We're at the security panel.
How do we get in?
Rigby, look in the backpack
we gave you
for a re-sealable plastic bag.
Aw, sick!
[GRUNTS]
What is-- ugh!
[PANTING]
They're not real teeth!
They're just molds of Steffen's
teeth for the dental lock.
Not it!
Not-- aw, dude!
That's-- ugh!
[CHUCKLES]
Fine!
[SNICKERING]
Stop talking!
I wonder how many people have
had that thing in their mouths?
[GRUMBLES]
[DING]
Okay, we're in.
Now what?
Okay,
now take the elevator
at the end of the hall
up to the second floor.
Hm-hm-hm.
Hm-hm.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Aah!
Dude, gross!
Why do you still have
those teeth in your mouth?
Uh...
[SLURPS]
They're kind of
growing on me.
Ugh!
They're freaking me out.
Well, get used
to it, pal.
This is how
I look now.
[SLURPS]
I look cool.
[TEETH CLICKING]
[SCOFFS] Nuh-uh.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Now keep walking down
this hallway
and take your first right
to hallway "L."
Okay, now take the black box
out of the backpack
and turn it on.
A fog machine?
Whoa!
Hey, guys, Steffen here
to guide you through
the hallway.
Don't worry,
you won't trigger the alarm
as long as you do exactly
as I say.
We got to get
those keys, dude.
Ptwah!
Ready?
BOTH: Ready.
Okay...run!
Duck! Jump!
Roll like a log!
Limbo, mon!
Crab walk!
Now dive!
[GROANING]
TRENT:
Langer's room is just
across this corridor.
BOTH: Sweet!
TRENT: Stop!
That room is filled
with motion detectors.
The only way to stop them
from triggering
is to move through very slowly.
Go!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Slow down!
No, no-- much slower.
There's also
facial-recognition scanners,
but if you constantly change
your facial expression,
it shouldn't be able
to see you, okay?
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Take a screen-shot!
[SHUTTERS CLICKING]
[LAUGHTER]
Wait, wait, wait
Dude, they're just
messing with us.
That is a classic!
Aw, man!
RACHEL:
Hey, guys.
This is a conundrum keypad--
the hardest keypad
known to man.
We're not gonna
be able to crack it,
we need to go in another way.
Reach into your backpack.
There should be
a suction-cup shaped tool.
Do you have it?
Yeah.
Stick it to the door.
It fell off.
Okay.
You're going to have
to lick the suction cup
to get it to stick.
Okay.
Dude, lick it.
I'm not gonna lick it.
You lick it!
Dude, just lick it.
I put the teeth in my mouth.
You lick it!
Ugh-- fine!
Ow!
[WHIMPERS]
Sick. Tastes like
a CPR practice dummy.
BOTH:
Whoa!
MORDECAI: Fancy.
RIGBY: There they are!
TRENT:
Okay, this is
Langer's penthouse.
Home stretch.
[BOTH PANTING]
Finally!
Now, I know we're excited,
but this is very important.
Do not-- repeat--
do not pick up the keys
from the pedestal
without further--
BOTH:
Yeah, boyee!
Well, now you guys
have gone and done it.
[SCREAMING]
[ALARM BLARES]
[ALARMS CONTINUE]
Guys, a little help!
Don't worry. Now, just keep
running straight ahead.
All right,
now close the blast door.
Nothing's getting through that.
I thought you said
nothing could get through!
Whoops.
[SCREAMING]
Get to the other side
of the room.
There's a doorway that'll take
you to the main entrance.
What even
is this room?
Oh, a giant marble maze room.
Oof! The keys!
Come on!
[♪♪♪]
Now...jump for it!
Aagh!
Rigby, watch out!
Aw, yea-uh!
[BUZZER BLARING]
The emergency lockdown sequence
has been activated!
Get out of there!
We're not
gonna make it!
Yes, we are!
Ready?
Yeah.
Now it's just a straight
shot to the door.
Go!
[SCREAMING]
Hey, Mordecai, what's that?
Robotic guard dogs?!
Rigby, go left!
Dude,
they can fly!
There's the exit!
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
We got the keys.
ALL:
Whoo!
[CHANTING]:
U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Do you think Langer
knows we helped?
[SCOFFS]
No way!
He's still on biceps.
U.S.A.!
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
[GRUNTS]
Benson! Benson!
Benson! Benson!
[PANTING]
We're really sorry,
but we...
borrowed your car
without asking.
But here's
your keys back.
What?!
You borrowed my car?!
But don't worry,
it's fine.
Oh, it...looks fine.
Yeah, we just needed
to go for a lunch run.
Well, why don't you
just hold onto the keys
till the end of the day,
in case you need
to run any other errands.
[WHISTLING]
You thinking what
I'm thinking?
Pizza run!
Whoops!
Ugh!
Really, dude?
[♪♪♪]
[BEATBOXING]
♪ Yo, my name is Rigby.
I got pizza galore ♪
♪ You may have a lot of pizza,
but I got much more ♪
♪ Had to borrow Benson's car
'cause it's a crisis ♪
♪ Downtown they're selling
slices at half prices ♪
♪ I knew he'd say no,
so I didn't say "please" ♪
♪ I snuck into his office
and made off with deez keys ♪
BOTH:
♪ Deez keys, deez keys
Made off with deez keys ♪
Whoops!
Dude! What the--
Hey, it's Benson's fault!
He's got, like,
a million keys on that ring!
Dude, we got to get
those keys back.
But, how?
Let's go ask
those scientists.
And that's why
he only has one ear.
[LAUGHTER]
Ahem.
Hey, there, guys
We accidentally threw our
bosses car keys through
that window up there.
Could you just run
and grab them for us?
Yeah, sorry, pal.
We're not allowed to interact
with the "test subjects."
Anyway, looks like they landed
in Langer's penthouse,
which is a top security area.
No one goes in there.
There's got to be
something you can do?
Maybe, but, ya know...
No, thanks.
Aw, what?!
Hey!
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we're on our lunch break.
[GRUNTS]
[TEETH GRIND]
[LAUGHS]
So good.
[GRUNTS]
[GULPS]
Hm-hm-hm!
Hm-hm-hm!
Too bad Langer
only lets you eat
those gross,
compressed food bars.
Maybe if you help us out,
we could sneak you
some real food?
Maybe something like
thi-i-i-is?
[ALL GASP]
No! It doesn't matter!
You could never
get past Langer's
security systems
anyways.
Uh, well, they might be able
to if we helped them?
Shut up, Tobias!
They don't need to know that!
Well, I'm not gonna risk
losing my job over some food!
[CHOMP]
Blaaaah.
Yeah, we should do it.
Fine. We'll vote on it.
Huddle up.
Dude,
pizza fixes everything.
Yeah, it does!
Okay, we'll help you
get the keys.
We're gonna need four
extra-large pepperoni pizzas?
Get the pizzas, and we'll meet
you at your room in an hour.
BOTH:
Okay!
This never happened.
[♪♪♪]
Ugh! Why is the pizza place
have to be so far away?
Yeah, but it'll be worth it
when we get those keys.
[KNOCKING]
You got the stuff?
Yeah, dude.
Trent.
TRENT:
Pepperoni.
It checks out.
All right.
What the?!
What did you do to our room?!
Just give us the keys.
Where are they?
In Langer's
penthouse.
What?!
Oh, come on!
Do you really think we'd
really risk our jobs
and break into
Langer's room?
[CHUCKLES]
You're gonna do that.
But you said
you'd help us!
And, we are.
We've rigged up your room
as a command station.
Langer's gotten crazy
about security.
Infrared lasers, booby traps,
cameras all over the place.
[CHUCKLES]
But lucky for you,
our top minds will
guide you through it.
[CHUCKLES MORONICALLY]
Pizza.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
So you've got
about an hour
to get in and out
and grab the keys
while Langer is busy
at his afternoon workout.
[GRUNTING]
Ugh!
Fine, we'll do it.
All right, let's suit
these two up!
[♪♪♪]
We're in position.
TRENT:
Okay, stay put.
Rachel's gonna use a dome-drone
to distract the guards.
Oh, hey there H-2953,
what's going--
Oh!
Easy now!
Let's all just...
[SCREAMING]
Why?!
Yeesh!
The guards are distracted--
begin phase 1.
[♪♪♪]
We're at the security panel.
How do we get in?
Rigby, look in the backpack
we gave you
for a re-sealable plastic bag.
Aw, sick!
[GRUNTS]
What is-- ugh!
[PANTING]
They're not real teeth!
They're just molds of Steffen's
teeth for the dental lock.
Not it!
Not-- aw, dude!
That's-- ugh!
[CHUCKLES]
Fine!
[SNICKERING]
Stop talking!
I wonder how many people have
had that thing in their mouths?
[GRUMBLES]
[DING]
Okay, we're in.
Now what?
Okay,
now take the elevator
at the end of the hall
up to the second floor.
Hm-hm-hm.
Hm-hm.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Aah!
Dude, gross!
Why do you still have
those teeth in your mouth?
Uh...
[SLURPS]
They're kind of
growing on me.
Ugh!
They're freaking me out.
Well, get used
to it, pal.
This is how
I look now.
[SLURPS]
I look cool.
[TEETH CLICKING]
[SCOFFS] Nuh-uh.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Now keep walking down
this hallway
and take your first right
to hallway "L."
Okay, now take the black box
out of the backpack
and turn it on.
A fog machine?
Whoa!
Hey, guys, Steffen here
to guide you through
the hallway.
Don't worry,
you won't trigger the alarm
as long as you do exactly
as I say.
We got to get
those keys, dude.
Ptwah!
Ready?
BOTH: Ready.
Okay...run!
Duck! Jump!
Roll like a log!
Limbo, mon!
Crab walk!
Now dive!
[GROANING]
TRENT:
Langer's room is just
across this corridor.
BOTH: Sweet!
TRENT: Stop!
That room is filled
with motion detectors.
The only way to stop them
from triggering
is to move through very slowly.
Go!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Slow down!
No, no-- much slower.
There's also
facial-recognition scanners,
but if you constantly change
your facial expression,
it shouldn't be able
to see you, okay?
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Change!
Take a screen-shot!
[SHUTTERS CLICKING]
[LAUGHTER]
Wait, wait, wait
Dude, they're just
messing with us.
That is a classic!
Aw, man!
RACHEL:
Hey, guys.
This is a conundrum keypad--
the hardest keypad
known to man.
We're not gonna
be able to crack it,
we need to go in another way.
Reach into your backpack.
There should be
a suction-cup shaped tool.
Do you have it?
Yeah.
Stick it to the door.
It fell off.
Okay.
You're going to have
to lick the suction cup
to get it to stick.
Okay.
Dude, lick it.
I'm not gonna lick it.
You lick it!
Dude, just lick it.
I put the teeth in my mouth.
You lick it!
Ugh-- fine!
Ow!
[WHIMPERS]
Sick. Tastes like
a CPR practice dummy.
BOTH:
Whoa!
MORDECAI: Fancy.
RIGBY: There they are!
TRENT:
Okay, this is
Langer's penthouse.
Home stretch.
[BOTH PANTING]
Finally!
Now, I know we're excited,
but this is very important.
Do not-- repeat--
do not pick up the keys
from the pedestal
without further--
BOTH:
Yeah, boyee!
Well, now you guys
have gone and done it.
[SCREAMING]
[ALARM BLARES]
[ALARMS CONTINUE]
Guys, a little help!
Don't worry. Now, just keep
running straight ahead.
All right,
now close the blast door.
Nothing's getting through that.
I thought you said
nothing could get through!
Whoops.
[SCREAMING]
Get to the other side
of the room.
There's a doorway that'll take
you to the main entrance.
What even
is this room?
Oh, a giant marble maze room.
Oof! The keys!
Come on!
[♪♪♪]
Now...jump for it!
Aagh!
Rigby, watch out!
Aw, yea-uh!
[BUZZER BLARING]
The emergency lockdown sequence
has been activated!
Get out of there!
We're not
gonna make it!
Yes, we are!
Ready?
Yeah.
Now it's just a straight
shot to the door.
Go!
[SCREAMING]
Hey, Mordecai, what's that?
Robotic guard dogs?!
Rigby, go left!
Dude,
they can fly!
There's the exit!
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
We got the keys.
ALL:
Whoo!
[CHANTING]:
U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Do you think Langer
knows we helped?
[SCOFFS]
No way!
He's still on biceps.
U.S.A.!
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
[GRUNTS]
Benson! Benson!
Benson! Benson!
[PANTING]
We're really sorry,
but we...
borrowed your car
without asking.
But here's
your keys back.
What?!
You borrowed my car?!
But don't worry,
it's fine.
Oh, it...looks fine.
Yeah, we just needed
to go for a lunch run.
Well, why don't you
just hold onto the keys
till the end of the day,
in case you need
to run any other errands.
[WHISTLING]
You thinking what
I'm thinking?
Pizza run!
Whoops!
Ugh!
Really, dude?
[♪♪♪]